Say What?: Commercials That Made Us Scratch Our Heads

[Cobalt Stargazer]

So say we all. At least when we are anonymous.

 

Oh, trust me, my hatred of Twilight and all things Twilight-adjacent is far from anonymous. The only thing I hate more is Fifty Shades of Crap. :-)

[anony mouse]

For those here who have seen great results with Wen, were any of you already doing the routine where you just rinse and condition daily and only shampoo occasionally/use a shampoo alternative?  Because I've tended to assume the "wow, my hair is so much different" testimonials were a result of switching from shampoo to Wen, rather than switching from another conditioner to Wen.  I have naturally curly hair, so I ditched regular shampooing years ago.  Making that switch made a huge difference in my hair, so I've always figured Wen would just be a more expensive way of achieving basically the same result -- I'm already washing with conditioner.

 

I tried washing with conditioners a few times, and I also tried the Sally Beauty Supply knockoff for Wen before switching to it. I have fine hair with some wave that tends to not have volume but likes to frizz. Washing with conditioner or Sally's Hair One never worked for me - my hair would be so, so flat no matter what tips and tricks I tried. I always ended up back with regular shampoo and having to wash every day to have decent volume. So I did see a significant difference when I switched to Wen, and it worked a lot better for me than cleansing with other conditioners. It probably has more to do with my hair type than anything, though.

[HelenBaby]

Taco Bell was mentioned a couple pages upthread. This particular one just confuses me.

 

Why the hell would a guy who's apparently a real person say in an ad that Taco Bell is as good as his mom's cooking? And how bad would "Mom's cooking" have to be for that to be true? And the girl seems oddly enthusiastic about Taco Bell's breakfast taco, is her mom a shitty cook too?

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xmd2Ttow72I

Making good biscuits is an art form that I have never been able to master, but, yeah, that commercial irritates because it's so fakey fake.

[Brattinella]

Another thing; those kids have NO IDEA what "Defector" means.  Burns my butt.

[LoneHaranguer]

 

Maybe they mean the vampires who sit around moping and wanting to atone all the time...Angel, Nick Knight, etc.

You also had the vampires in True Blood, most of whom weren't like Angel and NK.

[Rick Kitchen]

Taco Bell was mentioned a couple pages upthread. This particular one just confuses me.

 

Why the hell would a guy who's apparently a real person say in an ad that Taco Bell is as good as his mom's cooking? And how bad would "Mom's cooking" have to be for that to be true? And the girl seems oddly enthusiastic about Taco Bell's breakfast taco, is her mom a shitty cook too?

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xmd2Ttow72I

 

There's a Honey Baked Ham ad that runs every holiday season where one of the supposed real people says, "Tastes better than the ham your mama makes."  I wonder if his mama ever saw that ad.

[bilgistic]

Is Taco Bell open 24 hours a day now? All I thought when I saw this commercial (other than "Gross!") is that the people who work at Taco Bell must work all the time if they are now open for breakfast. Didn't they not close until 4am or so? My 16-year-old niece just got a job there; I guess I could ask her.

[theatremouse]

I think it varies a lot by location. From what I've noticed in my area the "open late" ones generally close between 1am and 2am. And the ones that don't advertise themselves as "open late" close either at 11p or midnight. So probably the workers closing at 2 don't get to leave until closer to 3. I have not seen any listed as open to customers until 4am, but that doesn't mean they don't exist somewhere. Also depending on where you live there may or may not be a law preventing someone from having a closing shift that ends at 2am following by an opening shift starting at 5am...

[proserpina65]

I take it you haven't watched Girls.  Hannah ends up at the ER with a Q-tip stuck in her ear.  Oh wait, you meant it real life.  Yeah, you'd have to be too stupid to live if you couldn't master a Q-tip. Now where's my special spaghetti strainer?  Did I leave it by the microwave boiled egg maker? 

Kind of ashamed to admit this, but my dad went to the doctor with ear bleeding from sticking a q-tip too deep REPEATEDLY whilst cleaning his ears (over a multi-week period).  Turns out he'd damaged his ear drum.  Q-Tips are cotton tipped weapons of destruction!  (Yeah, we'd been telling him for years not to do that, but did he listen?)

Fortunately I am capable of eating a regular breakfast without incident.  I will be avoiding your new breakfast like the plague upon humanity and the colon that I believe it to be.

 

Since I occasionally have the need to acquire breakfast on the way to work, I have to confess that, were a Taco Bell actually on the way between my home and office, I'd probably stop there.  Not for that biscuit thing - I hate biscuits - but for the crunchwrap with hashbrowns in it?  Yeah.  And I'll confess to having been intrigued by the taco waffle thingy, although not enough to go out of my way to get one.

[proserpina65]

There's one car ad that boils down to "this must be a high-end car because it has wifi! I'll buy it because of the wifi!"

 

I've taken to laughing at the one woman in that ad who proclaims that having wi-fi in her car is "the dream" - honey, you have really sad dreams.

WTF?

 

 

Is this an ad about having sex with furniture? Because she seems really.....infatuated.

And they're both pronouning chaise incorrectly.

[bilgistic]

I'm sure that the Taco Bells in my area were at some point open into the wee hours because (along with diners) that was a go-to joint after drinking nights in college (coughinthemid-90scough), and the bars here close at 2am.

[riley702]

Vampires do not fucking sparkle. XD

Yes, they do - right before they burst into flames. Heh.

[TeapotDiva]

There's a Honey Baked Ham ad that runs every holiday season where one of the supposed real people says, "Tastes better than the ham your mama makes."  I wonder if his mama ever saw that ad.

 

LOL, that gentleman cracks me up every time!  It makes me talk back to the TV: "Yes sir, and when you get home, your mama is going to smack you upside your head!"

[SmithW6079]

Now I had no idea there was ever such a thing in the world of myth and literature as a "good vampire". Sexy ones, yes, but they all suck your blood and kill people.

Except Edward Cullen and the other sparkly, vegetarian vampires.

[Haleth]

WTF?

 

 

Is this an ad about having sex with furniture? Because she seems really.....infatuated.

Ha!  I was just thinking about this commercial yesterday.  We were having some work done in the LR which required removing all the furniture so when my favorite reading chair was put back I had a similar reaction.  I didn't wear a turban though.

[Brattinella]

I saw a video once, of folks having sex with furniture.  Even thinking about it years later sends me into peals of laughter.

 

I DO admire that chaise lounge, though.

[erikdepressant]

Was the furniture sex video the one where the guy pointed out "more cushion for the pushin'?"

[RedZoneTuba]

I've taken to laughing at the one woman in that ad who proclaims that having wi-fi in her car is "the dream" - honey, you have really sad dreams.

And they're both pronouning chaise incorrectly.

Just the other night I sat alone in my living room, the ticking clock the only sound in my empty house as the late afternoon shadows lengthened across my floor.  I sighed deeply and gazed out the window at the nightfall settling in and the chill wind rustling the skeletons of the leafless trees.  I realized, at that precise moment, that if only my car had wi-fi I could finally have true happiness.

[Brattinella]

Was the furniture sex video the one where the guy pointed out "more cushion for the pushin'?"

 

I don't think so, I DO remember there was sexy music playing, and it was 4 guys one at a time with an ottoman.

[Muffyn]

Bratinella, that ottoman will never be the same.  

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S5wG71gxrvE

Edited April 19, 2015 by Muffyn

[xaxat]

Taco Bell was mentioned a couple pages upthread. This particular one just confuses me.

 

Why the hell would a guy who's apparently a real person say in an ad that Taco Bell is as good as his mom's cooking? And how bad would "Mom's cooking" have to be for that to be true? And the girl seems oddly enthusiastic about Taco Bell's breakfast taco, is her mom a shitty cook too?

 

Her enthusiasm for cheap fast food, combined with her giggles make me think she is stoned out of her mind.

[riley702]

Bratinella, that ottoman will never be the same.  

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S5wG71gxrvE

Was I supposed to be laughing like a loon? Real suave, guys. Or is that SwaVay?

Edited April 20, 2015 by riley702

[DeLurker]

Her enthusiasm for cheap fast food, combined with her giggles make me think she is stoned out of her mind.

Add Taco Bell's late hours and you've summed up the marketing plan.

[Brattinella]

Oh, Riley, I'm glad you got to experience that video in all it's glory!  Yes, laughing like a loon is mandatory.

[janie jones]

This commercial is so weird and confusing.  Every time I see it, I expect it to have a punchline.

[Rick Kitchen]

It's full of previously-discredited lies, starting with being the youngest Eagle Scout.  It also doesn't mention that Elron was almost court martialed for firing his ship's guns at a Mexican emplacement during the war.

[Duke2801]

Just saw a commercial for a "not-shampoo" hair care product called Wen. They advertise that it has "a new approach" to making hair clean and manageable, but it looks to me like it just uses the same old "put it in your hair, and then wash it off" technique. Maybe you need to apply a blow torch afterward, or something.

Also; when naming a hair care product, it might be a good idea to avoid using the term for cysts that sometimes become skin tumors. Just sayin'.

 

I really like Wen and have used it on and off for many years. I've tried a number of the cheaper knock-offs, but none of the work as well as Wen (at least for me).

 

I buy it directly from Amazon, so no "auto-ship" issues here. 

 

What I find interesting (and impressive) about Wen is how it really does work for a number of different hair types.  I was first introduced to it when I noticed one of my best friend's hair looking particularly full and full of volume, and she credited the Wen for making the difference.  She has stick-straight hair that tends to be "oily."  Yet it also works fabulously on my curly, dry hair, too. 

[FormerMod-a1]

I have tried Wen and it was fine.  However, I don't like all the time it takes.  The directions on the one I have (gifted by a friend) says something like "pump 15-20 times, run through wet hair, massage thoroughly to get from roots to ends, run a wide tooth comb through your hair, let sit 5-7 minutes w/o getting wet/rinsing, rinse, pump another 5 into you hand and run through hair and let sit, then dry."  If I have to let it sit, there's no way it's not getting wet while I try to do other things in the shower so it gets partially rinsed off.  I just found it to be a big ol pain.  I have long, normal weight (not thin, not thick), straight-ish hair.  I can wash twice with normal shampoo, lightly condition, wash my body and shave and all that in half the time Wen wants me to spend on my hair alone.

[anony mouse]

I have tried Wen and it was fine.  However, I don't like all the time it takes.  The directions on the one I have (gifted by a friend) says something like "pump 15-20 times, run through wet hair, massage thoroughly to get from roots to ends, run a wide tooth comb through your hair, let sit 5-7 minutes w/o getting wet/rinsing, rinse, pump another 5 into you hand and run through hair and let sit, then dry."  If I have to let it sit, there's no way it's not getting wet while I try to do other things in the shower so it gets partially rinsed off.  I just found it to be a big ol pain.  I have long, normal weight (not thin, not thick), straight-ish hair.  I can wash twice with normal shampoo, lightly condition, wash my body and shave and all that in half the time Wen wants me to spend on my hair alone.

 

Yeah, I don't do that. I have shoulder length, fine hair. So, I wet my hair thoroughly and work about 2-3 pumps in on my scalp, give it a good scrub, and rinse. Then I take another 2-3 pumps, scrub a bit into my scalp, and just run my hands with the rest over my hair and get a glop on the ends. Let it sit while I do my usual shower routine, and rinse out. Takes the same amount of time as regular shampoo and conditioner. No need to bother with combing it or anything like that, although with different hair types, that probably varies along with the amount of product you need.

[bilgistic]

Are those directions for Cousin Itt? 15-20 pumps?! No wonder they want to autoship it! No matter how long my hair has been (almost to waist and all points between shoulders and waist), I've never used that much shampoo and/or conditioner.

[90PercentGravity]

It's 24-32 pumps for long hair.

[janie jones]

Is the pump an eye dropper?  I have long hair and I can't imagine it being able to hold that much of something.

[anony mouse]

Is the pump an eye dropper?  I have long hair and I can't imagine it being able to hold that much of something.

 

No, it's pretty sizeable. The pump also gets larger with the larger bottles you order. With the smallest bottle size (16 oz.), one pump is about the size of a quarter. With the 32 oz. bottle size, one pump is almost double that. When I used the smallest bottle, I used about 6-8 pumps total on my hair. With the 32 oz., I use about 5-6. I can't imagine needing 24-32 pumps for anything. That's almost half the smallest bottle, I would think.

[Brattinella]

It's 24-32 pumps for long hair.

 

GAH!!!  I have long hair and am MUCH too frugal to use that much of anything on my hair.

[erikdepressant]

This Ashley Furniture sale commercial announces the bargain of "hundreds of best-selling items starting at just $288."  Is that vaguely specific or specifically vague?

 

http://www.ispot.tv/ad/78pF/ashley-furniture-homestore-lowest-prices-on-best-sellers

[Muffyn]

No, it's pretty sizeable. The pump also gets larger with the larger bottles you order. With the smallest bottle size (16 oz.), one pump is about the size of a quarter. With the 32 oz. bottle size, one pump is almost double that. When I used the smallest bottle, I used about 6-8 pumps total on my hair. With the 32 oz., I use about 5-6. I can't imagine needing 24-32 pumps for anything. That's almost half the smallest bottle, I would think.

All of this talk about the number of pumps needed does not have me thinking about washing my hair. 

[Ubiquitous]

Taco Bell was mentioned a couple pages upthread. This particular one just confuses me.

 

Why the hell would a guy who's apparently a real person say in an ad that Taco Bell is as good as his mom's cooking? And how bad would "Mom's cooking" have to be for that to be true? And the girl seems oddly enthusiastic about Taco Bell's breakfast taco, is her mom a shitty cook too?

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xmd2Ttow72I

Perhaps his Mom works at Taco Bell?

 

What's the deal with the occasional Subaru ad that takes place in a universe where dogs can drive cars?

[pandora spocks]

Wow, John Schnatter the CEO of Papa John's has made life simpler for pizza lovers. It's called paysharing. Now Papa John's patrons can calculate their share of a Papa John's order. Hey, John, people have used paysharing for decades: it's called using a calculator.

[bilgistic]

My takeaway is that Papa John himself, who owns the pizza chain, is too chintzy to duke his buddies some free pizza.

[LoneHaranguer]

 

Why the hell would a guy who's apparently a real person say in an ad that Taco Bell is as good as his mom's cooking?

Because a real person can say what the director wants just as well as an actor.

[Ubiquitous]

Wow, John Schnatter the CEO of Papa John's has made life simpler for pizza lovers. It's called paysharing. Now Papa John's patrons can calculate their share of a Papa John's order. Hey, John, people have used paysharing for decades: it's called using a calculator.

We used something older called "short division".

[LoneHaranguer]

 

We used something older called "short division".

Some people just take a guess and go by how much they're short or have extra after everyone has coughed up the original number. A pizza employee can wind up with a pretty generous tip that way, so John may be doing his employees a disservice.

[xls]

I think this commercial is funny as hell but you can hardly tell what the guy is saying to the cat. I know from my CC its "Got get help" but see if you can detect the "get" anywhere!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TGeCiXlMdDc

[Bastet]

Yeah, my mind fills in what he's saying, but it has always sounded to me like he managed to combine "go get help" into one word that's somehow a syllable and a half.

Edited April 24, 2015 by Bastet

[riley702]

I think this commercial is funny as hell but you can hardly tell what the guy is saying to the cat. I know from my CC its "Got get help" but see if you can detect the "get" anywhere!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TGeCiXlMdDc

Yep. He's just slurring the words together. I understood him perfectly, as I tend to do it myself. I'm blaming my southern Indiana accent, which is apparently so different from the rest of the Midwest that a lady at Cedar Point (Sandusky, OH) once wanted to know where I was from.

[FormerMod-a1]

I understood him just fine too.  Although he does say "Go get" as one word "goget", but I do hear both the G sounds.

[Prevailing Wind]

 

A pizza employee can wind up with a pretty generous tip that way, so John may be doing his employees a disservice.

I don't think that would bother him.

 

Does anyone else remember Father Guido Sarducci showing off the relic "receipt from the Last Brunch" where 12 guys ordered Eggs Benedict and one guy only got coffee & a Danish and they divided the bill by 13, so that the Danish eater had to pay more than what his brunch had cost?

[xaxat]

Sorry McDonald's. No matter how hard you try, artisanal  chicken from McDonald's will always be an oxymoron.

[Rick Kitchen]

Papa John has made it pretty clear in the past that he has no shits to give about his employees.

[riley702]

Yep, he's a douche-bag. He said he couldn't wouldn't provide health insurance for his employees because it would cost an extra 10-15 cents per pizza. This, from a company whose gross profits were approx. $100 MILLION in 2013, the last year for which I could find figures.

 

I actually e-mailed him after that comment, telling him that he had blown a golden opportunity for positive press without cutting into his earnings. All he had to do was announce he was raising the price of each pizza by 25 cents, in order to provide health coverage for his employees, and that he was sure people wouldn't mind paying an extra quarter to do so much good, and that it was just the right thing to do, dammit. I got the standard form letter thanking me for writing to them.