Say What?: Commercials That Made Us Scratch Our Heads

[friendperidot]

 

"Anastasia.com: Dating with[sic] women from Europe" Um... WTF did I just see?

these drive me crazy, I think the guys are probably too desperate to do dating US women, they think they'd be real cool to snag a European woman or they want someone they think they can control. And the women are eager to get to America and out of their sucky lives in their own countries. 

 

I know all situations aren't that way, but that seems like what the ad is appealing to.

[kassa]

Basically, they're doubling the reward,

 

 

More likely halving it and giving you half up front and half on payment.

[DeLurker]

Flonase Nasal Spray and the line about 6 > 1 (!!!!!).  That annoying line is what sticks out to me, not whatever the hell your product does.

[Rick Kitchen]

Virgin Airlines has just posted a 5 hour, 46 minute, 9 second commercial, showing you how boring airline flights can be if you aren't flying their airline. They use mannequins to show a real flight in real time.  I'm wtf about this because I don't even know if I'm going to watch this thing.

 

[peeayebee]

I hope that doesn't give me nightmares. I watched the first few minutes, then I skipped ahead a couple of hours, and skipped again, etc., to the very end. I think it's kind of an interesting marketing idea, something intended to go viral. But it's very weird and creepy.

[bilgistic]

Why do they look like a cross between a crash-test dummy and a Real Doll? Was there an even creepier option they turned down?

[Brattinella]

Five HOURS??? 

[90PercentGravity]

I don't know why Steve Wozniak apparently meditating on the sound of his own voice is supposed to make me want a Cadillac?

[Prevailing Wind]

I had no idea who that is in the Cadillac commercial.  All I know is when he starts droning on about what he wanted to do, I yell at the TV, "Goodie for you, toots."

[Aquarius]

Why do they look like a cross between a crash-test dummy and a Real Doll? Was there an even creepier option they turned down?

 

I'm guessing clowns.

[Sandman87]

Can't stop laughing at the ad for Nads Facial Wands. Because I'm 12, and the only thing better than a product named Nads is one that adds Facial Wand to it.

Virgin Airlines has just posted a 5 hour, 46 minute, 9 second commercial, showing you how boring airline flights can be if you aren't flying their airline.

Are there really people who select their airline based on its entertainment value? Damn, just lower the price and I'll bring a couple of books.

[CarpeDiem54]

Can't stop laughing at the ad for Nads Facial Wands. Because I'm 12, and the only thing better than a product named Nads is one that adds Facial Wand to it.

Good lord. I haven't seen this ad but now I have visions of a pair of balls on the end of a wand. I'm 11, BTW.

[Tunia]

OK, so our favorite little gecko gets put down at one end of an aircraft carrier and laments that it'll take him till after dark to meet up with the admiral at the other end.  Assuming it's not 6:00 p.m., geckos can travel at 30 m.p.h., so just how f*n long is that carrier anyway?

[SmithW6079]

Can't stop laughing at the ad for Nads Facial Wands. Because I'm 12, and the only thing better than a product named Nads is one that adds Facial Wand to it.

Do you rub the Nads all over your face?

I don't quite get the VW commerercial where the guy finds the lost dog in San Francisco, sees the tags that he lives in Portland, so they drive there, only to discover the owners moved to San Francisco, so they drive back. The man and the dog bond adorably on the trips; I don't want him to give the dog back to the people who allowed him to run away.

[Rick Kitchen]

I thought it was stupid that either the guy didn't call the phone number first, or the owners didn't have their number on the tag.

[SmithW6079]

I thought it was stupid that either the guy didn't call the phone number first, or the owners didn't have their number on the tag.

Obviously he wanted to go on a road trip, but the incomplete tag is yet another reason why he shouldn't give the dog back to the irresponsible owners.

[Chrissytd]

Cottonelle lady is back, and she is now encouraging people to go commando.

[bilgistic]

We've discussed this revolting ad in the "Commercials that make you want to poke out your eardrums with a butter knife and dig out your eyes with a teaspoon" thread. It may be called something else.

Edited March 8, 2015 by bilgistic

[Prevailing Wind]

It is called something else, but I SO love your title more.

[90PercentGravity]

A few mishead commercials:

 

I heard: With the black heart of Planet Fitness, you get all this. (Planet Fitness commercial)

Actually: With the black card of Planet Fitness, you get all this.

 

I heard: More of the hottest sluts you love (Local casino commercial)

Actually: More of the hottest slots you love

 

I heard: After I got my big gay job (Honda Commercial)

Actually: After I got my big new job

[Muffyn]

May I add to your list "fecal lodge", er, make that "eco lodge".

[Rick Kitchen]

THere's a car ad that talks about eco drive and I always hear ego drive.

[bilgistic]

With Cottonelle's "ripples" and "layers", you don't have fecal lodge.

[Ghost of TWOP Past]

I don't get the 'go commando' thing. Is the idea that you won't get skidmarks on your slacks? Because really, I'd rather not put that to the test. 

[janie jones]

Well, and also, I'm a lady, and maybe other ladies don't have the same experience as me, but most of the time, I've got some fluid leaking out of me.  I've no intention of "going commando" regardless of the job my toilet paper is doing.

[bilgistic]

Thank you for your bravery, janie jones. I have a friend that doesn't wear underwear (under pants), and I think it's just the grossest thing imaginable. First of all, who the hell wants to do all that laundry (I can get 2-3 wearings out of pants unless I spill on them), and secondly, I try to be clean in my "lady area", but yeah, I'm an adult woman and there's usually dampness.

 

Wear underwear, for chrissakes. They were invented for reasons.

[backformore]

Wear underwear, for chrissakes. They were invented for reasons.

 

yes, and among the reasons, for men and women -  there's the rare occasion when, maybe getting out of a car, or slipping on a patch of ice, even walking too close to something,  that the fabric of your trousers is strained and an embarrassing rip occurs.  Or a zipper breaks.   When this happens, you will be glad that you were wearing the proper undergarments. 

 

And for women wearing dresses -  well, there's wind, and sitting on chairs, crossing your legs, getting in and out of cars,  etc.  Flashing your undies to the world is not nearly as bad as "flashing"  the world. 

[Sandman87]

The best reason of all for wearing underwear: A fly with a metal zipper. I prefer to get through the day without having my parts abraded.

[erikdepressant]

Franks and beans!

Edited March 8, 2015 by erikdepressant

[LoneHaranguer]

Why are the folks who stamp all their ads with the word "truth" advising people who smoke that they can get more responses on dating sites if they hide that?

[Taylorh2]

^  Huh ?

[Brattinella]

Anti-smoking ads.  You will get more hits on you if your profile pic doesn't show you smoking.

[erikdepressant]

I hope this is a legit site:

 

http://www.smokerspersonals.com/

 

MEET SINGLES IN YOUR AREA WHO ENJOY SMOKING
Create Your FREE Profile & Search for Single Men and Women, near you, who Still Enjoy a Good Cigarette!

Go Out On A “Smoking Hot” Date With Smokers Personals

[Brattinella]

I am a long-time ex-smoker, and I still support anyone who wishes to smoke.

[Taylorh2]

That's like saying 'I'm a long-time ex-drug user, and I still support anyone who wishes to use drugs'

[Cobalt Stargazer]

That's like saying 'I'm a long-time ex-drug user, and I still support anyone who wishes to use drugs'

 

Actually, it completely isn't, IMO. Yes, its very hard to quit smoking, but despite the proliferation of the anti-smoking movement (and the ridiculous insistence that third-hand smoke is a real thing)  it isn't illegal to light up a Marlboro. Highly frowned-upon depending on where you live, but it isn't against the law.

[DeLurker]

Choosing to smoke or drink is a personal decision. I don't do either, but respect others* right to choose.

* What is the proper possessive of others? Others'? Other's?

Edited March 10, 2015 by DeLurker

[Brattinella]

There's about nothing worse than a rabid anti-smoker.  I'd also like to see the EXACT research that produced their tagline:

"50,000 Innocent Non-Smokers killed by Second-Hand Smoke Every Year".  Where is it??

[90PercentGravity]

I think anytime a non-smoker dies from lung cancer they say it was second-hand smoke, when in reality it was probably first hand air pollution, but no one wants to talk about that.

[DeLurker]

There's about nothing worse than a rabid anti-smoker.  I'd also like to see the EXACT research that produced their tagline:

"50,000 Innocent Non-Smokers killed by Second-Hand Smoke Every Year".  Where is it??

I went spelunking for facts after you brought this up and per the CDC:

 

In adults who have never smoked, secondhand smoke can cause:

    Heart disease

        For nonsmokers, breathing secondhand smoke has immediate harmful effects on the heart and blood vessels.1,3

        It is estimated that secondhand smoke caused nearly 34,000 heart disease deaths each year during 2005–2009 among adult nonsmokers in the United States.1

    Lung cancer1,6

        Secondhand smoke exposure caused more than 7,300 lung cancer deaths each year during 2005–2009 among adult nonsmokers in the United States.1

 

The numbers are the footnotes to referece other studies that support their conclusions.

 

But from skimming the abstract of the report which is footnote 6 (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Vital Signs: Nonsmokers' Exposure to Secondhand Smoke—United States, 1999–2008. Morbidity and Mortality Weekly Report 2010;59(35):1141–6 [accessed 2015 Feb 5]), it includes the following under conclusions:

 

The findings in this report are subject to at least two limitations. First, nonsmoking status was defined based on self-report and cotinine levels. Self-reports might be inaccurate; similarly, any cotinine cutpoint might misclassify some persons. The optimal cotinine cutpoint might vary by race/ethnicity and age group, and is dependent upon background levels of secondhand smoke (1,8). This analysis used the 10 ng/mL cutpoint to be consistent with previous analyses (1--4). Using self-report and cotinine levels in combination should have minimized misclassification. Second, the sample size was insufficient to allow calculation of trends for all race/ethnicity groups. Smoking prevalence varies widely across and within race/ethnicity groups (9) and by region (10); secondhand smoke exposure rates are similarly variable (1). Also, variability in secondhand smoke exposure across population subgroups might have contributed to the observed fluctuation in prevalence during the study period because NHANES is not designed to have the same regional distribution in every cycle.

 

That 2nd limitation seems pretty wide.

 

And for the 34,000 heart disease related deaths, I couldn't find anything that said that other known factors were ruled out - so those pesky details like blood pressure, cholesterol, weight, exercise and genetics may have been dismissed as the primary influencing factor for heart disease if you had the serum cotinine level that indicated you were exposed to second hand smoke.

 

Don't get me wrong - not smoking is probably* a healthier choice for you and those around you; it certainly is a cheaper choice because I recently noticed the cost of a carton of Marlboros posted at the local grocery store, but the use of iffy data to support scare tactic bugs the hell out of me.  I'm not saying the CDC and the rest of them are wrong, but if I can find some items that make the data and statistics used to support their conclusions questionable in a 20 minute google search, I suspect that someone actually qualified to do the analysis would find more.

 

* I say probably because some of the smokers I know were bears when they were not smoking and excess eating and weight gain was also a frequent side effect of not smoking.  I won't dismiss so easily the real impact of withdrawal can have.

 

As a non-smoker, I can choose to remove myself from the presence of anyone smoking in a public space where it is allowed, I can choose not to visit them in their home or ask them to not smoke in mine.  I've done all these things and been forthright about it - I have never had a smoker take offense.

 

And I excelled at procrastinating today as evidenced by this post.

[Brattinella]

Thank you so much for posting that, DeLurker.  I skimmed a few CDC documents that were referenced, and I STILL don't believe what they say.  I'll read some more tomorrow. Thanks again!

[BW Manilowe]

The commercial that makes me scratch my head (in a WTF? way), but not over the whole commercial, is the 1 for kayak.com, 1 of those airfare comparison websites.

In that commercial, a guy has "commandeered" the wheelchair lift on what's supposed to be the staircase in the house belonging to his wheelchair-bound--or otherwise mobility-impaired--Mother (who we see at 1 point, sitting forlornly on 1 of the steps, presumably needing to use the lift herself while her son just keeps riding it up & down the staircase for no apparent good reason; he's never seen moving his laptop or any information he probably needs to make his reservations between floors, he's basically just "joyriding" on his Mother's staircase lift)--while he's on this search, among multiple sites, for reasonable airfares. Then, at the end of the ad, presumably his wife's voice tells him, from offscreen, things would've gone faster if he'd searched on kayak (because it's a comparison-based website; he wouldn't have had to go between multiple sites to research).

As someone who legitimately needs the use of a staircase lift, if it's available, the fact there seems to be no actual *legitimate* reason in the ad for the guy to use his Mother's lift for his airfare search *really* pisses me off! He's just riding it, periodically tapping on the keyboard of his laptop as he does so.

For 1 thing, if you're gonna do something like make a freakin' plane reservation, you should have *all your information needed to make the reservation (if you need to refer to notes, a brochure about a convention or other event, etc., to make the reservation for the correct dates) in the same damn place*, not half of it on 1 floor of your house & half of it on another floor (or not split among different rooms, etc.).

For another thing, if he *really* needs to go from 1 floor to another to make the freakin' reservation (he appears to be able-bodied, if a bit chunky)... he should *use his own freakin' legs to navigate the stairs, not his Mother's stair lift*! Walking/running between floors only adds a few seconds more to the trip. Using the stair lift, & keeping his Mother--who legitimately needs it--from using the stair lift for no good reason, is rude, selfish, inconsiderate, & all sorts of other negative adjectives I can't think of. Especially since he appears to not really be doing anything more important with the lift than joyriding as he does his search.

[DeLurker]

Good point on that Kayak commercial.  The only message I got from it was douchetastic adult son was more concerned with getting a good price on airfare than the wellbeing of his Mom.  And since wifey didn't say anything either I was left with a bad taste in my mouth from both of them and Kayak.  Way to promote yourself Kayak.

[Aquarius]

I hate that Kayak commercial.  I thought at one point the mother was shown on the stairs, hunched over and gasping for air (nice).  I figure they're going for the asshole demographic.  It must be a big demographic given how many commercials seem to be targeting it.

[peeayebee]

Good point on that Kayak commercial.  The only message I got from it was douchetastic adult son was more concerned with getting a good price on airfare than the wellbeing of his Mom.  And since wifey didn't say anything either I was left with a bad taste in my mouth from both of them and Kayak.  Way to promote yourself Kayak.

I love the Kayak commercials. This isn't one of my favorites of theirs -- I love the one where the guy's fingers pop off -- but yes, in the chairlift one, the guy is a jerk who's being a jerk because he doesn't know about Kayak. The Kayak ads are anything but realistic, so I like the humor.

[DeLurker]

I love the Kayak commercials. This isn't one of my favorites of theirs -- I love the one where the guy's fingers pop off -- but yes, in the chairlift one, the guy is a jerk who's being a jerk because he doesn't know about Kayak. The Kayak ads are anything but realistic, so I like the humor.

I didn't even get that part of the message.  I just knew it was Kayak + jerk = annoyance.

[peeayebee]

That's kind of the message in a lot of commercials: To be a better person, use our product.

[erikdepressant]

I figure they're going for the asshole demographic.  It must be a big demographic given how many commercials seem to be targeting it.

You've won PTV today, Aquarius.

[Cobalt Stargazer]

Good point on that Kayak commercial.  The only message I got from it was douchetastic adult son was more concerned with getting a good price on airfare than the wellbeing of his Mom.  And since wifey didn't say anything either I was left with a bad taste in my mouth from both of them and Kayak.  Way to promote yourself Kayak.

 

I hate the Kayak guy even more than I hate Jimmy, the jackass from the insurance commercial whose mother steps of a wormhole to help him deal with the car wreck he caused. It makes me wish Cookie Lyon had showed up with a broom in her hand instead. Stop dissing your moms, you assholes!

[Bastet]

I loathe Jimmy, and am perplexed as to show she's "not helping."  Let's review, Jimmy -- you rear-ended someone in the middle of nowhere, so your mom teleported herself and her kitchen phone to the accident site in order to sit on hold with your crappy insurance company.  You, on the other hand, have restricted your activities to grumbling, pouting, and discouraging your son's obvious affection for his grandmother.  How is she the one not helping?