S01.E04: Paying The Price

[Tara Ariano]

Maria is nowhere to be found; Meghan and Josh come to terms with some harsh financial truths; and a broken leg threatens to derail the lavish Indian wedding planned by Ragini and Veeral.

[PityFree]

We'll see what happens in the show tonight, but if Josh is surprised by any of Southern girl's awful money (or eating snack foods in bed) habits, then he is wayyyy too dumb for medical school. They've been dating for what? 100 years? 

[VanSensei]

Holy shit, Hindu/Indian weddings are expensive. Dude. $75k-100k for a wedding, I don't think most people could do. That's a full year's salary for some peope.

[zxy556575]

I agree with Veeral -- Ragini looked absolutely gorgeous for the ceremony.

 

Nice to see Marie and Nina getting along.

[Lovecat]

Josh's dad is now my favorite person on this show.  Too bad he is married to the nightmare that is Josh's mother.

[Pepper Mostly]

hahaha, why do you think he's working outside all the time? Seriously, she is AWFUL.

 

So, Nina goes to bars and sells flowers? That's what she brings to the table? Dear god. So now poor little Maria, after scrubbing the house all day, if she wants some pin money of her own, has to trudge out to bars and hustle flowers.

 

Big show being made of Christian seeing the light. I don't buy it.

[qtpye]

"The Sad Little Gypsy Flower Girl" seems to be a Gothic fairy tale come to life.  I really do not understand why the heck the Gypsies are so against education.  I do not mean that the only path to success is through college, but it could open a whole new world of opportunities for them.  I just do not see Christian having the toughness needed to work in construction.  The boy can barely climb down a ladder.

 

I remember reading a new article on a Romanian Gypsy Girl (this was in Romania not the United States) who was force to marry a boy against her will at the age of seventeen.  The reason the story made headlines is that the girl was the top student at her school and had ambitions of becoming a doctor or a scientist.  Her friends and teachers were begging the family to let the girl continue with her education, as she had an excellent chance of getting a scholarship.  The girl was in tears and was quoted saying from now on her life will be nothing but stirring a pot.

 

Why the heck do people who are knocking at thirty and married expect their family to support them?  I do not understand how the southerners could be dating for so many years and are just now coming up with a financial plan?  When I got married, both my husband and I took great pride in our financial independence.  We also had similar financial issues as the southern couple, but we were able to work it out and live a comfortable life.  Now, almost ten years later, most of our student loans are paid and we are still being financially responsible (as most people would be except these nitwits).

[Primetimer]

And more not-quite-burning questions sparked by the latest episode of Arranged.

Read the story

[HAPPYHARRISON]

It blows my mind that the Southern couple did not discuss finances before they were married.  I'm also surprised that Josh's father did not have the cutting you off discussion until after Josh was all married up to high maintenance Meghan.  I know if I was still being supported by my parents when I announced I was engaged to be married there would have been many lengthy conversations about what was going to happen financially.  Hopefully Meghan will get a job to help out financially and I think it would be good for her to be less sheltered.

 

I will say that even though I think they are all a hot mess that at least the Gypsy parents realize until their son can support himself and his wife that they will be on their payroll.  I think the Southern parents kind of threw Josh and Meghan to the wolves by "arranging" this marriage and promoting it without discussing what the parents would continue to provide for the couple.

[Sienna]

I'm not Romani, but in most of the families I know who own construction/contracting/landscaping companies, the sons usually start working there in their early teens. Not full adult labor, of course, but odd jobs around the site.

It seems really strange that Christian, even as a spoiled oldest son, has never worked AT ALL, especially if the plan was always that he would marry so young, and be expected to work construction to support his family. Even if he finished high school (which I hope, but rather doubt), you would think he would have been out there during the summer.

Not that I question the truth of it. Christan never working a day in his life was one of the more believable plot lines on last night's show.

Edited May 6, 2015 by Sienna

[beeblebrox]

Holy shit, Hindu/Indian weddings are expensive. Dude. $75k-100k for a wedding, I don't think most people could do. That's a full year's salary for some peope.

 

Indian weddings are awesome. Theirs looks like it was on the more expensive side especially with the classic car entrance. The biggest one I went to did a two part Barat (groom procession) that started at the hotel, went on a boat around the Bay, then into a terrace right by the hotel. As favors, they gave us marble pictures with marble from where the bride's family is from. It was a seriously gorgeous wedding. I loved her walk of shame. Hilarious.

 

On the Southern couple, they're so ill prepared financially. What surprised me the most was how taken aback Josh was about being cut off. Though he tries to portray himself as the smart one with money, he's equally high maintenance as Meghan. I do wonder if his estimation of their future salaries is correct at 50k combined. They're a hot mess.

[Tara Ariano]

UPDATE: Nina has responded on the cup question!

 

[PityFree]

Does Josh know how ridiculous he sounds when he goes on and on saying "I'm the husband! I have to support my Southern wife! It's my responsibility to be the provider!" Shut up. It sounded like Meghan is going to work and use her masters degree, so STFU about being The Sole Provider. You won't be. If Meghan is not planning to work, then, go for it. Pound your chest and scream like Tarzan about how you are The Provider. Until then, STFU. 

 

Meghan messed up. To live the lifestyle she really wants, she needed to become the second or third wife of a practicing doctor.  Not the wife of a medical student hoping to find a residency. I'll bet she's thinking now about how much better it would have been for them to have eloped and asked for the money she spent on the fancy wedding as a gift. The money she spent on a french fry station would have paid for a lot of dresses.

 

Is it just me, or does Meghan's face become more unfortunate in every episode?

[Rahul]

So Nina's profession is hawking individually wrapped roses in plastic to bar patrons? Oi. She's lucky those establishments even allow her entry to peddle her wares. If I was a shop owner I wouldn't allow her to step foot inside. And if she is Maria's biggest advocate, that girl is in trouble. She's already established her only concern is saving face in front of the community. Christian's father actually seems to be more genuinely concerned about Maria's feelings and welfare.

 

Holy shit, Hindu/Indian weddings are expensive. Dude. $75k-100k for a wedding, I don't think most people could do. That's a full year's salary for some peope.

 

Indian weddings can be very expensive. The bridal saris/ghararas alone could be upwards of $35,000 though Ragini seemed to be wearing a rather simple ensemble (ie. minimal embroidery and beading) with understated jewelry. Nevertheless, I thought she looked absolutely stunning.

 

Is it just me, or does Meghan's face become more unfortunate in every episode?

 

I didn't want to say anything before but every time I see Meghan's face I cringe a little. To me it looks like her face is made of stretched dough. 

[JellyFishQueen]

I'm kinda annoyed that the indian couple and southern couple are on this show, they are not at all arranged.

 

I found Maria to be very mature, she never raised her voice during the argument. Did anyone else get freaked out when christian appeared in the mirror and enter the room? I really thought he was going to beat her!

 

This show not helping christian parents if they want to marry off there younger sons, just watch the show and see how the son treats his arleady newlywed bride no parents will sell there daughters to this family

Edited May 6, 2015 by JellyFishQueen

[mojito]

I know in her head, Meghan thinks she's "marrying well". She just doesn't seem to understand how much time it will take to acquire any kind of wealth. What did Josh say, he was $180K in debt (or $280K)? I kind of favored Josh until he told his father that it didn't seem "fair" that his father won't be supporting him once he's out of medical school. By then, Meghan will probably have him declaring bankruptcy.

I've never seen a show with so many unlikable people. I feel for Maria, think the Indian couple will do just fine (and he's probably a good match for her Type A personality and she's feisty enough to deal with her meddling sister-in-law), appreciate Josh's father, and have nothing but disdain for everyone else.

And yet I tune in.

[Rahul]

Apparently Veeral is a doctor and Ragini has an older brother who shares my name (although there's a typo in the article):

http://www.indoamerican-news.com/?p=31090

[VanSensei]

I'm kinda annoyed that the indian couple and southern couple are on this show, they are not at all arranged.

 

I found Maria to be very mature, she never raised her voice during the argument. Did anyone else get freaked out when christian appeared in the mirror and enter the room? I really thought he was going to beat her!

 

This show not helping christian parents if they want to marry off there younger sons, just watch the show and see how the son treats his arleady newlywed bride no parents will sell there daughters to this family

I agree. I applaud her for having so much decorum in her actions and words and not just resorting to vain sound and fury like Christian. That would make things much worse.

[sandwoman]

 

UPDATE: Nina has responded on the cup question!

 

Omg, awesome! And what a weird explanation: disposable cups are more sanitary? Um, okay ...

 

So creepy how Christian and his family assumed she had run away because she wasn't sitting in the basement. And then he like petted her head. So creepy. Free Maria!

[Straycat80]

I wanted Maria to be gone so bad but I figured the producers were just editing it to look that way. Not buying that the Gypsy Prince saw the light and now he's going to be nice to her. Glad he tore himself away from his video games to go to work. Are 17 year olds allowed into bars to sell flowers? Guess so. Poor Maria.

I love Josh's dad. Why would A 28 year old married guy expect his parents to still support him and his wife after graduating from college? This just boggles my mind! Why didn't they talk about all this before they got married?!

The Indian wedding was cool to watch. I loved all the costumes and customs.

[sookisooki]

It's sad that Maria is starting to see Chris' mother as an ally (or something like that). The Stockholm Syndrome is already setting in. It may mean that her family wasn't keen on her coming back home and she has no choice but to just make herself fit in to this unfortunate situation.  Sad... I just pray that she doesn't later become a heartless bitch like her mother in law when it's her turn in the future.

 

Veeral has such a sweet disposition. I hope his wife realizes how lucky she is. If his sister-in-law tries to intrude, I hope that Veeral is able to stand his ground to protect his new marriage.

 

The Southern couple, give me a break. How could they not have discussed finances before getting married? Or was that all for the cameras? Josh's father is a tough one. So how did wife become so controlling?

[qtpye]

I know we all talk about freeing Maria (which I heartily agree with), but I think we also need to start a petition to free Josh's dad as well.  The man not only has a horrible spoiled brat shrew of a wife, who thinks if she says things with a South Carolina drawl, they will not sound horrible...but his 28/29 year old son is also an entitled mess, who expects dad to support his frat boy lifestyle after marriage.  Did I mention, now the man will also have a doughy faced high maintenance daughter in law?

Edited May 7, 2015 by qtpye

[mojito]

 

So how did wife become so controlling?

I think Josh's dad simply knows when to put his foot down and concedes the petty stuff to his wife. She thinks she's in control, but really, he doesn't give a shit about the petty stuff, thus giving her the false feeling of control.

 

 

What is it about TV cameras that make some women from the south (and Texas....just because the state sided with the Confederacy doesn't necessarily mean that everyone identifies with being southern)  feel compelled to establish how special their world is? Ceding all the decision-makin' and money-makin' to your menfolk so you can focus on pretty thangs is not cute and makes no one envious of your tiny, limited, antebellum-wannabe lives. You just come off as shallow and frivolous.

[ciaoformeow]

I loved watching the Indian wedding. My cousin married an Indian girl (we're black american) and their wedding wasn't as traditional (not as long, only half of a week of celebrations lol) but I loved being involved so this was a nice walk down memory lane for me. As well as an opportunity to see some things my cousin didn't have at his less traditional version. 

 

 

My one question is why didn't she just suck it up and wear that necklace that his mom gave her. It was an heirloom right? She should have worn it even if it didn't go with her dress (which, btw I think it totally DID match her dress - she just didn't want to wear it). I felt like that was super rude 

Edited May 7, 2015 by lilsadone

[zxy556575]

I agreed with Ragini that the second necklace was too much and the one she ended up wearing set off her dress perfectly. BUT she knew how important it was to her in-laws and it would have cost her nothing to be gracious about it. She's going to have a hard row to hoe with her SIL and MIL if she remains so unyielding. Because neither of them is going to budge!

[MsPH]

Meghan and Josh are unbelievable. Them adding up their monthly expenses must have been a joke right? Over 6000 dollars/month for two people? What on earth are they planning to spend their money on? I also can't believe they expect Josh's dad to keep paying their rent even after Josh graduates. I'm sure they can find some cheap apartment for a while until she starts earning too. Or perhaps she could get a part-time job? Spoiled brats. And yeah, she is getting uglier every episode. What is with that eyeliner?

 

I'm not buying reformed Christian either. Nor do I think he'll survive construction work. Really, I can't think of a more depressing future than trying to sell flowers in bars or working on roofs. Poor kids. Why not just let them choose what they wanna do with their lives? Crazy idea, I know!

 

I loved the Indian wedding. Ragini looked so gorgeous! I also think she should've worn the other necklace no matter how silly they looked together, if his family bought them specifically for the wedding. Diamonds and sapphires gone to waste.

 

I wonder how long Ragini manages to avoid getting pregnant. I bet she has a lot of excuses in store already. That woman isn't looking forward to popping out any babies, that's for sure!

[TeapotWakeen]

MsPH
 

 

Meghan and Josh are unbelievable. Them adding up their monthly expenses must have been a joke right? Over 6000 dollars/month for two people?

 

I kno,rite?  I laughed out loud with Josh's "and we'll budget $100 a month for your student loan, Meghan." Unless she has like $3000 in student loans (for grad school? oh hell no) that's not going to work.  Especially when the budget also includes $100 a month for clothes for her. Girlfriend is going to have to learn about consignment shops if she needs a career wardrobe.

 

I'm also not buying the Christian turnaround when he thought Maria was gone, but if it opens the door to him realizing what it would feel like if she did leave, that's probably good enough. She actually did better than I thought she would with the selling flowers thing, but she was actually ordering people to buy flowers, lol!

[fliptopbox]

UPDATE: Nina has responded on the cup question!

 

That makes like, zero sense. They wash the rest of their dishes (plates, silverware, etc.) right? How are cups any less sanitary? That cabinet also seemed kind of slim pickings of cups for a family of 5 (now 6). Hell, only 3 people live in my house and we probably have quadruple the glasses they do. Sheesh.

[Bella]

I assumed that the Meghan/Josh budget included payments on his school loans, which are what, about $280,00 or something like that? Otherwise that budget made no sense. I wasn't paying close attention, though. Really, in order of grabbing my attention, Ragini/Veeral are first, then the Romani teenagers, with the "Southern couple" last.

[Pepper Mostly]

I kno,rite?  I laughed out loud with Josh's "and we'll budget $100 a month for your student loan, Meghan." Unless she has like $3000 in student loans (for grad school? oh hell no) that's not going to work.  Especially when the budget also includes $100 a month for clothes for her. Girlfriend is going to have to learn about consignment shops if she needs a career wardrobe.

 

 

And didn't he say she could have $100 a month for clothes? to which she whined "that's maybe one dress"!! Dear god. I almost burst a blood vessel yelling "you SAVE UP and you BUY something when you NEED it!" at the TV.  Sweet tapdancing Jesus. Of course, she'll just call Daddy when she wants a new dress. Honey, its called being poor graduate students. Lots of ramen and PB and J's. Making do with what you have. Not rocket science. These two. They KILL me. I am far from thrifty but I know how to save a buck when I have to.

[Kiss my mutt]

So when does Josh graduate? He is interviewing for a residency? I think he said he would make $24,000? If Megan got a part time job I think they could get by. When I got married we were both grad students living off our stipends.

I loved the "come to Jesus" moment Josh had when he realized his dad was cutting him off. It irritates me that he considered it a given that he could depend on it.

Wonder how long it will take before Megan asks her daddy to supplement their income.

[Passthepopcorn]

I really do not understand why the heck the Gypsies are so against education.  I do not mean that the only path to success is through college, but it could open a whole new world of opportunities for them.

I think one reason would be that they are so close nit that sending a kid to collage would break the unity of the family. The tradition being that you move to your in laws and are expected to play this role. If you go away to college, they loose you. The dynamic of the home and even work is family centered always.

I'm guessing here.

Edited May 10, 2015 by Passthepopcorn

[LennieBriscoe]

How to wrap roses properly to hawk them in a bar. OMG. "Doctors teach their children to be doctors. I sell flowers, so this is what I teach."

Someone get Maria a Professor Higgins STAT!

 

Josh should not have married until he could afford it. Period. (And why can I not get Betty Broderick out of my head?! LOL!)

Edited May 10, 2015 by LennieBriscoe

[meatball77]

Providing them with an education gives them the opportunity to leave the community.  When these kids have no education they can't leave.

[Bella]

Providing them with an education gives them the opportunity to leave the community.  When these kids have no education they can't leave.

 

Agreed, and that's from our perspective. But we see it as an opportunity. Maybe the Romanis see it as a waste and a loss.

 

Let's flip the statement around to see what it might be from the Romani perspective: "Why do they need an education? If they get an education, they just leave, and what good is that? They're not with their families anymore and that's wrong. We can give them good work without them wasting all that time and money on school that they don't need."

 

I'm guessing that might be the way they see it. I've heard similar statements expressed in poor rural communities where the kids who left for college didn't come back and the families who stayed behind were affronted by that. 

[VanSensei]

I think Maria has to just leave them and go somewhere else, regardless of whatever backlash there might be from her family. Sometimes, the ways of the past don't work in the present - there's a reason why there's so many ex-Jehovah's Witnesses, for example.

Edited May 11, 2015 by VanSensei

[trimthatfat]

I'm way behind on this show as I am watching a marathon now. Had no idea it existed, but I like it!

My one question is why didn't she just suck it up and wear that necklace that his mom gave her. It was an heirloom right? She should have worn it even if it didn't go with her dress (which, btw I think it totally DID match her dress - she just didn't want to wear it). I felt like that was super rude 

ITA. Sometimes you have to suck it up and do something because it makes someone else happy and not because it makes you happy. I agree that she just didn't want to wear it. I think that was a poor decision and that she insulted her MIL by doing that. Not every battle is worth winning - Ragini lost points with that.

 

I think it's weird Josh's dad abruptly told him that he was going to get cut off upon graduation. Why wouldn't you communicate that way before your child got married? Oh well...good lesson to learn early on. They aren't doomed just because of the debt. Most married couples don't start off with a cushion of any kind so if they are diligent they should be fine.

 

Poor Maria. I honestly think she's going to be miserable for a long time. I know very little about the gypsy culture, but would her family welcome her back home if she went? I do remember hearing that Gypsy women who aren't virgins are viewed as unmarriable so Maria might not find another Gypsy husband, but honestly, that could be a blessing in disguise. How is her MIL honestly able to make a living selling cheap roses wrapped in cheap cellophane? $10 for one stinking flower? That's ridiculous. I would think she gets turned down way more than she gets a willing seller.

Edited May 30, 2015 by trimthatfat

[hatchetgirl]

My favorite part? Josh saying he wasn't accepted to med school on the first try.  Dying! What a dunce! His mom should be ashamed at how he and his brother acted that first night she was there.  Total jerks! 

Broken leg, my ass!