Sweet Fellowship: Duggars and Friends (aka the Bates Family and Other Featured Families Thread)

[Absolom]

The recovery from a natural miscarriage costs the insurance company an office visit normally or possibly an ER visit and an office visit. The testing can get quite expensive as there is a lot more involved than genetic testing.  There are a myriad of conditions that can cause miscarriage and it can cost thousands to rule them all out. 

[Sew Sumi]

Does anyone know how the need for testing is determined? Is it x number of miscarriages in x months? Or x number overall? I had two miscarriages six years apart; would I qualify for testing if I had demanded it? Maybe not, and this might be why Michael hasn't announced a pregnancy? 

I would think she could ask to be tested for the clotting disorder, but maybe her insurance doesn't cover it? Who knows what kind of insurance IBLP offers, if it offers any at all (and instead makes them use Samaritan)? 

I do worry for Michael. She's the one who seems to want a zillion kids. She's really good at putting on the "happy face," so who knows what she's really going through?

[Absolom]

The normal insurance rule two years ago was three consecutive miscarriages.  ACOG was saying two consecutive miscarriages warranted investigation. 

There are other reasons besides miscarriages to justify testing for clotting disorders so Michaela could get or have gotten a doctor to test for that possibly given the family situation. 

[Sew Sumi]

Thanks, and I hope you're right. 

It's just amazing that Erin had four pregnancies (including the testing, diagnosis, and live birth) in the space of what 18 months? And we know that her first pregnancy was around the time Whitney announced with Bradley on I Love You Day 2014, which would have been three months into her marriage. So, more like 4 pregnancies, etc in the space of about 16 months. That's pretty crazy when you think about it. 

[Absolom]

My daughter did the same when she went through three miscarriages before the fourth was successful.  They conceived the first month or two of trying each time.  It seems a bit rough but for them and maybe for Erin it was easier to look forward than grieve.  I did tell my daughter it was a bit of "Go Fish."

[Sew Sumi]

That kind of fertility is unreal to me, and it makes it even stranger that Cherin proclaimed the Brooklyn pregnancy a surprise. Nursing doesn't stop pregnancy in many women, especially Duggars and Bateses, apparently. 

[Pollypam]

I don't post often, but I thought I would add to the miscarriage discussion. I had one miscarriage, then one live birth, then another miscarriage and my doctors ordered a series of blood tests after that. They found two blood disorders related to breaking down folic acid. Blood tests like these are not the same as genetic testing, which can be super expensive. The blood disorder was treated with supplements. Then I had a live birth, then another miscarriage. Then I was tested for my hormone levels and prescribed progesterone for as long as I was trying to get pregnant. Then I had two more live births. I had intervention for the middle two, but not the bookends.

What I have learned is that there is so much that is not known about all of the many possible causes of miscarriage and how and if it is possible to prevent them. Also, insurance is heartless. Who knows what the doctors and insurance companies think regarding clotting disorders and their relationship to miscarriages.

Edited August 24, 2016 by Pollypam
Autocorrect

[Absolom]

They know clotting disorders cause miscarriages.  That's one of the major reasons for most of my miscarriages and one of the two things my daughter's OB checked for very quickly.

[janey]

I had trouble getting pregnant. I had a hard time staying pregnant. What I learned from that experience: insurance companies suck (they dictate a lot of protocol) and as such nobody checks the obvious. it is a simple matter of bloodwork to determine if there is an underlying issue (I was on same/similar meds to Erin). Had they done that bloodwork as a part of the let's get to bottom of this routine we could have skipped years of the routine protocol. 

. 

[GeeGolly]

Insurance companies obviously vary a lot. I'm now seeing how lucky my sister was with her miscarriages and fertility problems. They took very good care of her and left no stone unturned.

I hope Michael is okay in the fertility department. I can't imagine how it would feel to be childless with that bunch.

[Barb23]

Does anyone know what  Dad Napier does for a living?  Does Mom work? In case no one knows,  the Napiers are (?paid to be) friends /acquaintances of the Benessa's who adopted a child from Ghana, I think.  Dad looked so young in the episode he was on a few years ago.  Just wonder what their background story is. They have to be Fundy lite cuz she had on jeans & a sleeveless blouse on this week's episode.

I hope everything is ok for Michaela too.  I felt a little bad for her on last nite Bates episode.  Erin & Michael were discussing the 3 legged race as a party game for Carson's birthday.  Erin laughed that since her & Whitney were pregnant, accommodations would have to made.  There was nothing wrong with what Erin said, but I'm sure Michaela would have loved to have been included in the pregnant posse. 

[BitterApple]

1 hour ago, Barb23 said:

Does anyone know what  Dad Napier does for a living?  Does Mom work? In case no one knows,  the Napiers are (?paid to be) friends /acquaintances of the Benessa's who adopted a child from Ghana, I think.  Dad looked so young in the episode he was on a few years ago.  Just wonder what their background story is. They have to be Fundy lite cuz she had on jeans & a sleeveless blouse on this week's episode.

 

I don't know what their deal is, but I have no doubt the wife would ship that little girl off on a one-way ticket to Africa if she could do it with no backlash. I remember watching a Dr. Phil episode about international adoptions gone wrong and one of the featured wives reminded me exactly of the Napier woman. They'd adopted a kid from India due to fertility issues and after they brought him home she found out she was pregnant. All of a sudden she decided she couldn't bond with the boy and wanted to send him back. It was pretty obvious the adopted child was disposable now that a bio baby was no longer an impossibility. Hopefully I'm just projecting and the Napiers are totally different behind the scenes, but there's something about them that's "off" to me.

[Sew Sumi]

All I know about the Napiers is that they were willing to whore out the birth of their son to TLC when Jill went through her "midwife" training with Venessa. 

On a much lighter note, we no longer have Waller Wednesdays *sob* but this gem was posted today. Poor Prissy, how will she multitask when her kids start getting older? She only has that one vocal fry tone. 

[Westiepeach]

1 hour ago, Sew Sumi said:

All I know about the Napiers is that they were willing to whore out the birth of their son to TLC when Jill went through her "midwife" training with Venessa. 

On a much lighter note, we no longer have Waller Wednesdays *sob* but this gem was posted today. Poor Prissy, how will she multitask when her kids start getting older? She only has that one vocal fry tone. 

Wait ~ Pris gets to sit in the FRONT seat ... with a MAN who is not her headship ... and TOUCH SHOULDERS? I am defrauded.

[FakeJoshDuggar]

On 8/26/2016 at 3:06 PM, Sew Sumi said:

All I know about the Napiers is that they were willing to whore out the birth of their son to TLC when Jill went through her "midwife" training with Venessa. 

On a much lighter note, we no longer have Waller Wednesdays *sob* but this gem was posted today. Poor Prissy, how will she multitask when her kids start getting older? She only has that one vocal fry tone. 

 

I did a Waller  Wednesday in the Parodies thread last week, I think. 

[MunichNark]

That video gave me the creeps. Big time. TFDW gives off such weird nasty vibes. The child looked terrified until the camera focussed on him and then he smiled.

I'd fully believe that TFDW would be the type who will delight in scaring people with nastiness - much like the clown scare the Dugwads did. Do you know what I mean?
 

Ugh.

[Arwen Evenstar]

6 hours ago, MunichNark said:

That video gave me the creeps. Big time. TFDW gives off such weird nasty vibes. The child looked terrified until the camera focussed on him and then he smiled.

I'd fully believe that TFDW would be the type who will delight in scaring people with nastiness - much like the clown scare the Dugwads did. Do you know what I mean?
 

Ugh.

Probably why evangelical Christianity seems to attract these nasty men.  Since in their world, having a penis comes with the perks of indisputable authority and superiority, regardless of whether "respect" is earned or not. Certain abberant personality types, in particular sociopaths and narcissists find these perks totally appealing. I knew of one devoutly Christian young lady (a virgin until she was 35) who married a seemingly nice guy, who after two kids had to get a divorce because he beat her and shamed her and controlled her in every way.

David Waller, due to his delicate small frame and effeminate voice and mannerisms would have had likely  the living crap beaten out of him or been bullied at most public or private schools, except at glee club or drama class.  He kind of has that Anthony Michael Hall vibe about him (remember Sixteen Candles?). Not all boys are jocks nor built that way, and I know plenty of 100% straight men who are built like and act like TFDW. At ATI, he gets to be HMFIC, which no doubt feeds his ego on some level. That said, I hope he's not mistreating Prissy or the two kids he already has. Cameras don't lie, so to me, Prissy still looks well treated and cared for. Though I would find her baby voice extremely annoying, and no doubt David must, he also knows why she does it because it's part and parcel of being Gothard. 

That said, I'm not disagreeing about the dark vibe many of you perceive, I do believe he's an angry little man deep down. Every one of us has a darker side to our nature, but since those in Gothard Land aren't allowed to seek qualified psychiatric help or therapy, they all have to choke it down in the name of "keeping sweet" or being perceived as "godly" and not "weak".

[tabloidlover]

Poor Priscilla is looking really rough.  Time to take the pregnant lady home to rest?

http://files.davidlovespriscilla.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/29/files/2016/08/DavidLovesPriscilla18.jpg?592722

[BitterApple]

I know it's hard to take a good picture while squinting into the sun, but Pris does look really worn out. I'm also oddly disturbed at how much she and TFDW look like some kind of weird Flowers In the Attic couple. 

[Bitter Betty]

25 minutes ago, BitterApple said:

I'm also oddly disturbed at how much she and TFDW look like some kind of weird Flowers In the Attic couple. 

Ha! Wow, they really do. 

[Absolom]

Davina looks like she's had it, too.

[Sew Sumi]

Is it me or does Prissy have her rings on backwards? Her engagement ring is closer to hear heart than her wedding band. Her engagement was a simple gold band solitaire (I remember it well; Davey featured it prominently in "their story").

You'd think with all of this obsession on marriage, the women would know how to wear their rings correctly! 

[Jynnan tonnix]

On 7/14/2016 at 5:16 PM, Arwen Evenstar said:

 

10 hours ago, Sew Sumi said:

Is it me or does Prissy have her rings on backwards? Her engagement ring is closer to hear heart than her wedding band. Her engagement was a simple gold band solitaire (I remember it well; Davey featured it prominently in "their story").

You'd think with all of this obsession on marriage, the women would know how to wear their rings correctly! 

 

 

On 7/14/2016 at 5:16 PM, Arwen Evenstar said:

 

(again with the blank quote boxes from posts I decided against at some point...sorry, can never figure out how to get rid of them)

I've been married for 31 years and didn't even realize there was a "right" and "wrong" way to wear rings. Maybe the engagement band is just a bit looser on her finger and she doesn't want it slipping off or something. 

[Absolom]

Many people prefer to wear the rings "reversed."  Some people even have a second wedding ring/band made so they don't have to deal with the set of rings all the time.

[Almost 3000]

3 hours ago, Jynnan tonnix said:

(again with the blank quote boxes from posts I decided against at some point...sorry, can never figure out how to get rid of them)

I always just click under the box, back space and its gone.

[GeeGolly]

I was taught the same thing in regard to wedding rings. Always thought it was odd for ladies to have to take off their engagement ring for the wedding ceremony. 

One of the red flags for my mom, previous to being diagnosed with Alzheimer's, was that she started wearing her wedding rings the wrong way.

[MunichNark]

She looks rough and lined....yikes.

Davia is surely one ugly child so far. I hope she grows into her looks. Being homely is not good in their world, no matter how much they spout about inner values

[Sew Sumi]

Yeah, Prissy is long overdue to learn about simple drugstore moisturizer/sunscreen. Olay has it for maybe 10 bucks that I used for years pre hysto. Now my skin needs more moisture, so I changed brands, but at 30, Olay will be just fine for her.

[RedheadZombie]

On August 28, 2016 at 9:38 PM, Absolom said:

Davina looks like she's had it, too.

Is this her name?

13 hours ago, MunichNark said:

She looks rough and lined....yikes.

Davia is surely one ugly child so far. I hope she grows into her looks. Being homely is not good in their world, no matter how much they spout about inner values

Or is this her name?  If it's this, I really dislike that her name is to glorify her father.  I will admit I don't like juniors, either.  Why can't a kid just have their own name?  Place your patriarchal claim on the middle and last names.  But that's my personal preference, I guess. 

[tabloidlover]

It's Davia and pronounced Dave-ee-uh.   I'll just let ya'll absorb that one.

[yogi2014L]

25 minutes ago, tabloidlover said:

It's Davia and pronounced Dave-ee-uh.   I'll just let ya'll absorb that one.

It almost seems like Davia was David's girl name for himself when he was a little kid, lol. Not that there is anything wrong with it, this culture is just so oppressive I wonder how David would have lived his life had he grown up in a normal household. And Davia is a very...unique name I think there is more too it than David just being a Narcissist like George Foreman lol. 

[Lemur]

22 hours ago, MunichNark said:

She looks rough and lined....yikes.

Yeah, her forehead looks like a topographical map.

[FakeJoshDuggar]

I noticed something today on Erin's (Bates) instagram and forgive me if it's already been touched on. Erin doesn't follow ANY of the Duggar kids or their husbands on instagram. She follows the Duggar Family account but that's it. Maybe she doesn't need their special brand of crazy in her life right now?

Interestingly enough, some of the younger (non courting) Bates children have instagram accounts, albeit private and locked down. Some small amount of kudos to Kelly and Gil (excuse me, I just gagged on those words) for giving the teenagers some semblance of a normal adolescence.

Edited August 31, 2016 by FakeJoshDuggar

[Sew Sumi]

Marjorie is in college, and based on her shirt, may be even a legitimate one (although UofA really doesn't rank high in those "best college" lists). Still....baby steps! 

[BitterApple]

I did some digging and apparently Doug is the mascot for John Brown University which is a private Christian liberal arts college. It is regionally accredited, so definitely a step up from Clown College.

[IndianPaintbrush]

2 hours ago, FakeJoshDuggar said:

I noticed something today on Erin's (Bates) instagram and forgive me if it's already been touched on. Erin doesn't follow ANY of the Duggar kids or their husbands on instagram. She follows the Duggar Family account but that's it. Maybe she doesn't need their special brand of crazy in her life right now?

Interestingly enough, some of the younger (non courting) Bates children have instagram accounts, albeit private and locked down. Some small amount of kudos to Kelly and Gil (excuse me, I just gagged on those words) for giving the teenagers some semblance of a normal adolescence.

Michaela/Jill and Zach/JD are friends, but I don't think Erin was ever close to any of the Duggar kids. She's probably super grossed out by Josh's behavior.  I can see Erin being completely shocked at the mere idea of a cheating husband.

Edited August 31, 2016 by IndianPaintbrush

[Sew Sumi]

4 minutes ago, BitterApple said:

I did some digging and apparently Doug is the mascot for John Brown University which is a private Christian liberal arts college. It is regionally accredited, so definitely a step up from Clown College.

Thanks for taking one for the team! It didn't even register with me that the goat was a school mascot! Ah well, she's on campus, and from the look of her neckwear, living in a freshman dorm. I've see the frosh at Cal  wearing similar for years while wandering around campus and the vicinity. I seriously doubt she's in top secret labs where security clearance is needed.

[Zella]

I know some people who went to John Brown, and it's apparently not quite as narrow-minded as some other Christian colleges can be. (I live nearby and went to another Christian college that veered much more toward the latter.)

One of my friends who went to John Brown for her first couple of years (she's an atheist now) was in their philosophy program and said that they talked about other religions/belief systems openly and respectfully. When I told her about my own negative experiences at another Christian college, she seemed quite shocked and told me she still looked back quite fondly on her time at JBU.

[Sew Sumi]

Aside from close proximity to home, I bet this is why she is going the college route:

http://www.jbu.edu/majors/art_and_illustration/showcase/

[Natalie68]

On 8/28/2016 at 5:46 PM, tabloidlover said:

Poor Priscilla is looking really rough.  Time to take the pregnant lady home to rest?

http://files.davidlovespriscilla.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/29/files/2016/08/DavidLovesPriscilla18.jpg?592722

Holy mackerel!  SHE is in her 20's???  She is not going to head into her later years with a youthful countenance.  

[Sew Sumi]

I think Priss just turned 30 or will soon. I'm not sure of her exact birthdate, but she's two years older than Anna. Still...

Edited August 31, 2016 by Sew Sumi

[Natalie68]

Just now, Sew Sumi said:

I think Priss just turned 30. I'm not sure of her exact birthdate, but she's two years older than Anna. But still...

Well at least she isn't in her 20's.  But please Pris, get some good moisturizer and a good pair of sunglasses.  Surely someone in your congregation is still selling Blueblockers.  

[Sew Sumi]

I already suggested the Olay moistuirzer/SPF 15 or 30. It's cheap. I used it for years before the hysto took away my natural moisture, and I had to move to a stronger formula (also more costly). She needs to talk to Anna, who I bet knows about moisturizing. 

[Vaysh]

OMG the Flowers in the Attic comment was not wrong. At all. Seriously they could be twins.

[Sew Sumi]

*raises hand* I read Flowers in the Attic when it first came out a century ago. Now that I think of it, the Grandmother may have been my gateway fundie. Also the reason I hated being dragged to church and never went back once I supported myself a month after my 18th birthday. My parents had too many lame rules for me to stay, and as all of my siblings before me, I got a set of luggage to send me off. They were even worse than than the Duggars regarding education, and my dad had a Masters in Architecture. 

[Portia]

Sunglasses and sunscreen/moisturizer  are great.  But all four members of that family need to put on  hats. Or...here's  a thought... get in the fucking shade. Take it from this pale girl, Wallers: the sun is not your friend!

[Arwen Evenstar]

13 hours ago, Sew Sumi said:

*raises hand* I read Flowers in the Attic when it first came out a century ago. Now that I think of it, the Grandmother may have been my gateway fundie. Also the reason I hated being dragged to church and never went back once I supported myself a month after my 18th birthday. My parents had too many lame rules for me to stay, and as all of my siblings before me, I got a set of luggage to send me off. They were even worse than than the Duggars regarding education, and my dad had a Masters in Architecture. 

That Grandmother was freaking evil. I read the whole trilogy when I was like 15 and that was one seriously effed up family. In some regards, that may be why the way the Duggars have chosen to raise their kids has always been so disturbing to me. The fear and anguish of those children was pretty palpable in those books.

[FakeJoshDuggar]

11 hours ago, Portia said:

Sunglasses and sunscreen/moisturizer  are great.  But all four members of that family need to put on  hats. Or...here's  a thought... get in the fucking shade. Take it from this pale girl, Wallers: the sun is not your friend!

Priscilla doesn't have a lot to work with, unfortunately. Her mother has looked 60+ for the past 30 years. The pics of newborn Priscilla looks like Suzette could be her grandmother instead of her mother. Couple that with poor nutrition growing up and a proclivity of running around Florida with no sunscreen, and no one is surprised she looks middle aged in her 20's.

[Arwen Evenstar]

7 minutes ago, FakeJoshDuggar said:

Priscilla doesn't have a lot to work with, unfortunately. Her mother has looked 60+ for the past 30 years. The pics of newborn Priscilla looks like Suzette could be her grandmother instead of her mother. Couple that with poor nutrition growing up and a proclivity of running around Florida with no sunscreen, and no one is surprised she looks middle aged in her 20's.     

Sun can really prematurely age a person. I just turned 50 and I look a lot younger than many people I know who are younger than me.  I guess  the one up side of losing my bikini bod is that I've stayed away from the pool and the beach. Sunscreen makes a difference. Pris and David are both fair skinned, fair haired, and have light colored eyes...sunscreen is even more important for them.

When I go to the pool or beach, I burn pretty easily. So, wide brim hat, sunscreen, and big Lady Gaga sunglasses.  I look like a bug, but I could care less!

Wallers, take note...sunscreen, sunglasses, hats....NOW!

[FakeJoshDuggar]

4 hours ago, Arwen Evenstar said:

Sun can really prematurely age a person. I just turned 50 and I look a lot younger than many people I know who are younger than me.  I guess  the one up side of losing my bikini bod is that I've stayed away from the pool and the beach. Sunscreen makes a difference. Pris and David are both fair skinned, fair haired, and have light colored eyes...sunscreen is even more important for them.

When I go to the pool or beach, I burn pretty easily. So, wide brim hat, sunscreen, and big Lady Gaga sunglasses.  I look like a bug, but I could care less!

Wallers, take note...sunscreen, sunglasses, hats....NOW!

Genetics are also a factor in how a person ages. Priscilla's gene pool from which to draw that youthful skin which never seems to age is shallow like a puddle.