Sweet Fellowship: Duggars and Friends (aka the Bates Family and Other Featured Families Thread)

[GeeGolly]

25 minutes ago, CalicoKitty said:

I'm sure her sisters will have her dressed beautifully.  Pretty sure the dress is not off the rack with poor alterations.

I'm sure the sisters gave their input, but from what little I know about Heidi, she knows what she wants. And she seemed to have some style prior to dressing mostly modest.

[mythoughtis]

24 minutes ago, merylinkid said:

Worse what happens if she realizes its not for her AFTER the wedding?   Doe she really have a way out?   Will Jill let her go?

She is worldly enough to understand divorce.  And who to contact to help her leave.  And it’s not as if there would be a lot of money to fight over in a divorce.  Jill couldn’t prevent it from happening.  Heck she couldn’t prevent Phillip going to OK( although I think she did go drag him back). 

  

Edited September 2 by mythoughtis

[Heathen]

2 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

Yea fall is 9/22, but here in the east we consider fall after Labor Day really. Everyone is all back to school occupied and all about pumpkin spice this and pumpkin spice that, chomping at the bit for a 12' skeleton, etc.

And yea, despite Heidi being a bit of a tom-boy, I could see her going full on princess gown.

We also consider the month of December winter, when really only about 1/3 of it is.

Not in any part of the east I've lived in. 

The big question is whether Jill will pretend to be happy, or will she just pout? 

[GeeGolly]

7 minutes ago, Heathen said:

Not in any part of the east I've lived in. 

The big question is whether Jill will pretend to be happy, or will she just pout? 

Weird, I've lived in the east my entire life. Its always been this way in my area. My FB is filled with fall memes, countered by the few telling the pumpkin spicers to put down their drinks and have a margarita because, damn it summer isn't over. Public pools are closed after today, lakes will have no lifeguards, private owners are closing their pools up, etc.

I think Jill will do both - walk around with a cheery face when it suits her and pout when that suits her. She plays all the games. And then of course the fake tears will come when they drive off.

[Heathen]

27 minutes ago, GeeGolly said:

Weird, I've lived in the east my entire life. Its always been this way in my area. My FB is filled with fall memes, countered by the few telling the pumpkin spicers to put down their drinks and have a margarita because, damn it summer isn't over. Public pools are closed after today, lakes will have no lifeguards, private owners are closing their pools up, etc.

I think Jill will do both - walk around with a cheery face when it suits her and pout when that suits her. She plays all the games. And then of course the fake tears will come when they drive off.

It may be that way in your area, but not in the rest of the east. People aren't closing their pools because of a social-construct holiday when the temperatures are the same. It's not like September rolls around and suddenly the temperatures drop. 

Good luck, Heidi. 

[Absolom]

It's been awhile since I lived in the east but Labor Day was the end of summer.  All summer concessions shut down and we prepared for winter.  Of course, I lived in a mountain area and it snowed one year in September.  It quite possibly varies from area to area.

[crazy8s]

3 minutes ago, Heathen said:

It may be that way in your area, but not in the rest of the east. People aren't closing their pools because of a social-construct holiday when the temperatures are the same. It's not like September rolls around and suddenly the temperatures drop. 

Good luck, Heidi. 

Agree maybe not people closing their own pools.

But in southeast michigan the public pools most all have today as the end of season. At some public pools tomorrow is dog pool party day. For a few bucks you can take your dog to play in the pool, since they are going to be cleaning it and closing it anyway

My son lives in a neighborhood with their private neighborhood pool and regardless of weather it opens every year on memorial day and closes on labor day. They are in southwest MI.

I expect Heidi and her mom considered the weather in mid september in their area and picked an appropriate dress. It's not like she's stuck with a thrift store dress she found when she was 13 and is going to have to wear it no matter what the venue or weather.

[GeeGolly]

27 minutes ago, Heathen said:

It may be that way in your area, but not in the rest of the east. People aren't closing their pools because of a social-construct holiday when the temperatures are the same. It's not like September rolls around and suddenly the temperatures drop. 

Good luck, Heidi. 

I'm not sure a social construct is dictating folks' behaviors. The weather in the east tends to dry out this time of the year and the nights are cooler, so the water becomes cooler as well. Most vacations are done and kids are back to school. Its a lot of work/money to keep a pool open if no one is swimming in it. And the public pools and lakes close because kids are back in school too.

I'm guessing the Rods wouldn't be playing in ditch water in the fall. Well then again, maybe they would.

But of course if your Carlin Bates who has a heater for her pool, she'll likely close it later.

I have to say some of these same New Englanders who end summer in September also break out the shorts in March and April when its still chilly. From my 50+ years living here I find it to be the norm more than the exception.

[mythoughtis]

School started up two weeks ago here in the Midwest.  College too.  So the pools switched to weekends only and today will be the last day.  Fall decor is about and harvest will be soon.    The weather here will be warm for a fall wedding.  However long sleeves on a wedding dress would not be considered out of place ( air conditioning!).  Especially if they are all lace. 

[SporkOrFoon2]

I remade my old account just to say this—I’m glad people elsewhere think the Reddit goers can go too far. I wish people would focus their ire on JillPM and LazyDave. They have abused their kids. The sons and daughters in law may might or might not know the full story. But they don’t deserve to be stalked.

[andromeda331]

4 hours ago, mythoughtis said:

School started up two weeks ago here in the Midwest.  College too.  So the pools switched to weekends only and today will be the last day.  Fall decor is about and harvest will be soon.    The weather here will be warm for a fall wedding.  However long sleeves on a wedding dress would not be considered out of place ( air conditioning!).  Especially if they are all lace. 

Same where I live. My family usually considers summer over when my sister-in-law (she's a teacher) and nephew go back to school. 

[libgirl2]

11 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

 

But of course if your Carlin Bates who has a heater for her pool, she'll likely close it later.

 

It is funny because I am outside of Chicago and my best friend finally got a heater for her pool. She is excited she will have more time to swim. 

I love fall and I love pumpkin spice! 

[Meow Mix]

Getting religion in college is not that unusual especially if something traumatic happens like parents getting divorced or a death in the family.  My concern is that if this is a phase, she may not figure it out until it is too late to get out.  I hope her family stays in contact with her and can help her if she gets in too deep.  

I do worry for Philip.  It sounds like someone Jill approves of has him in hand now.  I suspect he is being brought back into the fold and having any questioning stamped out.  That makes me sad, because I do think he had a bit more intelligence than the rest of the brood and was questioning what he was taught.  He was trying to figure out who he is separate from his family and Mahmo can't have that.

Given Jill's penchant for hijacking others events, it wouldn't surprise me if she turned Tim and Heidi's wedding reception into an engagement party for Sam and his girl.  She definitely took over the Keller's anniversary party when you know she contributed nothing to the food or the venue costs.

Regarding fall, i live more in the southeast and our neighborhood pool will stay open for a couple more weeks.  It's usually warm enough to swim even after it is closed.  I remember a few years back the temperature hit 100 in early October.

[Dehumidifier]

One reason beaches and pools start closing down this time of the year is because many of the lifeguards are college students and they are heading back to campus. On last night's news a NJ lifeguard who was spending his last day at work was interviewed. He is actually a professor going back to his college. It was mentioned that a few beaches are staying open thru the month with lifeguards. 

[Notabug]

On 9/2/2024 at 3:00 PM, GeeGolly said:

Yea fall is 9/22, but here in the east we consider fall after Labor Day really. Everyone is all back to school occupied and all about pumpkin spice this and pumpkin spice that, chomping at the bit for a 12' skeleton, etc.

And yea, despite Heidi being a bit of a tom-boy, I could see her going full on princess gown.

We also consider the month of December winter, when really only about 1/3 of it is.

Here in Northeast Ohio, September is our best month weatherwise.  Warm sunny days, usually in the upper 60's to mid 70's with cool evenings.  Not to mention the glorious fall colors.  Heidi can wear long sleeves in such seasonable weather.  I'm sure the venue will be airconditioned.

[Salacious Kitty]

16 minutes ago, Notabug said:

Here in Northeast Ohio, September is our best month weatherwise.  Warm sunny days, usually in the upper 60's to mid 70's with cool evenings.  Not to mention the glorious fall colors.  Heidi can wear long sleeves in such seasonable weather.  I'm sure the venue will be airconditioned.

I assume the wedding will be in PA. 

[Notabug]

1 hour ago, Salacious Kitty said:

I assume the wedding will be in PA. 

That's right, their weather isn't much different though.

[Salacious Kitty]

I just checked the forecast for the 14th on Philly, which is the closest city. Looks like a high of 80 that day. I got married in long, lace sleeves 💬 thinking it would be a cool summer day where I was. Turned out to be in the 90s. I don't remember any discomfort, but my gown was also backless. 😀

Heidi should be fine in whatever she's chosen to wear. Unlike here, the church will have a/c, and hopefully their reception venue is comfortable as well. 

Edited September 3 by Salacious Kitty

[emma675]

For some reason, I can't wait to see Heidi's dress. I think it will definitely be incredibly modest, but without the tragic 80s aesthetic of Nurie's gown or the horrid mismatched modesty panel and crooked headpiece of Kaylee's outfit.

[Salacious Kitty]

She got the dress months ago, so any alterations made should be tastefully done. Hopefully, she simply picked an already modest dress that just needed to be altered for fit and height. 

Edited September 3 by Salacious Kitty

[BradandJanet]

15 minutes ago, emma675 said:

For some reason, I can't wait to see Heidi's dress. I think it will definitely be incredibly modest, but without the tragic 80s aesthetic of Nurie's gown or the horrid mismatched modesty panel and crooked headpiece of Kaylee's outfit.

Tragic 80s aesthetic is all Jill knows. She combines performative modesty (except for her own skin-tight outfits) with a complete lack of taste. The results aren't pretty.  

If the Rodrigueses had friends, they would certainly be able to find someone with the skills to alter a simple gown. The Rod-brides might even be able to borrow or rent a wedding dress that was designed to be both modest and attractive. 

But BME runs every show. Every show except Heidi's wedding, that is. Heidi will manage to look lovely. 

It's possible Jill will buy herself something new to wear as mother of the groom. She treats herself to new things for these occasions. Maybe Ellen can gently suggest something that won't look too strange in the wedding photos. 

[Salacious Kitty]

Hopefully Jill finds something in Heidi's color scheme. Lord help us if she shows up in that tin man getup. 

[crazy8s]

Just to remind us of Jill's choices for a dress for Nurie and Kaylee's weddings.

[lianau]

I still don't understand what's going on with Kaylee's  tiara thing. 

[Absolom]

Jill put up the top portion of Kaylee's hair off center and then stuck the garland thingie over the lopsided updo portion.  Deliberate some of us guess.  

[Tdoc72]

She looks like she is drugged off her ass and being walked up the aisle b/c she can’t stand straight. Like the sister from Sixteen Candles who took the muscle relaxers. 

Wasn’t Nurie’s dress a thrift store find or gift from a friend that she had for years?  Am I remembering that right?  I’m surprised Jill didn’t make Nurie wear Jill’s dress (and then call it Nurie’s choice).  

[awaken]

On 9/2/2024 at 1:00 PM, AstridM said:

Not only that, but apparently she’s also had her own YouTube CHANNEL as well as other public pages, etc. for many years.  I think she knows exactly how it all works and is well aware of what’s happening. 

I believe it’s all very calculated on her part. 

[CalicoKitty]

Luckily Jill will not have any input on her son's bride's dress choices.  That doesn't mean she might not offer her services to do their hair, however.  She went to beauty school, you know.  Advice to the soon-to-be daughters-in-laws:  DO NOT LET JILL HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH YOUR HAIR OR MAKEUP!!  (See Kaylee's wedding pictures as an example).

[Heathen]

43 minutes ago, awaken said:

I believe it’s all very calculated on her part. 

I've said before that I think Jill wants her daughters to look worse so that she looks better in comparison. What she did to Kaylee is abusive. Look at that bitch's smirk. 

[andromeda331]

6 hours ago, Heathen said:

I've said before that I think Jill wants her daughters to look worse so that she looks better in comparison. What she did to Kaylee is abusive. Look at that bitch's smirk. 

So do I. She had plenty of time to fix Kaylee's headpiece and she chose not too. She made sure to get pictures of it messed up. Anyone else would have fixed it. Not Jill.

[lianau]

8 hours ago, awaken said:

I believe it’s all very calculated on her part. 

I'm not sure it's calculated. I think she jumped into fundiedom with both feet and is doing what she thinks a good fundie should do and behaves the way she thinks a good fundie should behave. It just doesn't come natural to her because she wasn't raised to behave this way .

[GeeGolly]

Beauty and beauty practices.

In the Jessa thread the discussion is about Ben going for the pretty Duggar daughter. And this discussion about stuck-in-the-80s JillR competing with, and sabotaging, her own daughters' beauty. Then there's a handful of Bates sisters who wear way more make-up than JillR, but in a more tasteful way. Also, in the above picture of Nurie is Hosanna Plath from another TV Fundy family. Hosanna, one of the few kids in the family who is still Fundy (and not on the show) has a face full of make-up and one of her non-Fundy sisters wears more make-up than drag queens, but not in an attractive way.

If you think about it, from the head up, these "modest" women are about as mainstream as it gets. We all see examples of these women in our everyday "worldly" lives.

[ginger90]

Words by Jill.

It’s long so I’m using the spoiler. In her stories this was accompanied by many emojis.

Spoiler

Marriage.  A relationship that, in this culture, doesn't seem worth fighting for anymore.  But let me say, it is!  😊  

For the record, we have loved ones and dear friends that are divorced for Biblical reasons and we do NOT judge them.  😉

Aside from that, though, it seems people are looking for reasons to divorce their mate.  We have noticed that most Hallmark / Hollywood movies are normally based around this storyline.  

1) The movie character is with a guy or girl already, OR their spouse is dead.
2) They are generally discontent with their mate (fiancé or spouse).
3) They stumble into someone they like better while walking on a trail. 🤪
4) They continue to notice everything they DON'T like about their current mate. 
5) They eventually DUMP the person they're with to pursue a (supposedly) HAPPIER life with the "new and shinier" person.  
6) They live happily ever after.  🙄

This storyline may seem innocent enough, but when that is the MAIN content of every "love story" movie, you notice an agenda of the devil.  💀  He wants to "paint a picture" that it will always be "greener on the other side of the fence".  That you will always be happier with someone else.  To focus on the faults of who you are with.  This contradicts the Scripture in the 10 Commandments...... Exodus 20:17 "Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's house, thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor any thing that is thy neighbour's."  Also this Scripture.... 1 Timothy 6:6 "But godliness with contentment is great gain."

The devil wants to put seeds of discontentment and doubt within our heart.  He wants us to have "wander lust" in our hearts for a better mate.  This does not please God.  We need faithfulness in our culture.  Divorce is at an all time HIGH.  It seems like people are looking for reasons to divorce their spouse.  😢

I wish Hallmark would paint a picture of reality and commitment.  Stories that inspire and touch each of us to the core of our souls. A storyline, something like this....

1) A couple meets, young and in love.
2) They marry in a God honoring wedding.
3) They struggle through the seasons of life, while focusing on growing deeper and deeper in love with God and each other.  
4) They stay faithful until the dying end.
5) With heart wrenching tears, they say goodbye to their mate at their death bed with the promise to see them again in the glory of Heaven. 
6) As they grieve the loss of their mate that they were married to for the last 60 years, they reminisce on their life.  They realize they TRULY did find their.....HAPPILY EVER AFTER!  

This is the kind of storyline that plays on every heart string.  ❤️ It brings a melody of commitment and joy into each heart watching. It causes me to want to search out my husband in the house.  Snuggle next to him.  Tenderly kiss him with tears streaming down my cheeks.  Look at my photo albums of years past.  Ponder and cherish each moment that we have created......TOGETHER.  Choose forgiveness for each other's faults.  Embrace the love that God has gifted us with. 

Those are the movies that are (in my opinion) worthy of Oscar awards!  And in Heaven, they will be rewarded!   😊

Let's keep our hearts guarded from the evil agenda of Satan and this old, sinful world.  Let's fight for and value our marriages.  🥰

Proverbs 4:23 "Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life."

 

[GeeGolly]

Okay, Jill's not wrong about Hallmark movies. They all seem to move home to save a company and then fall in love with someone new. But first, these are MOVIES and second most folks in real life do not marry the first person they fall in love with, and lastly, I don't recall a lot of divorces in these movies - just break-ups.

I love the way JillR is trying to have it both ways - judging without judging. Now she'll pretend to judge characters in movies and not real folks.

And wow, it sounds like their maps are working overtime.

[crazy8s]

For someone who claims to rarely watch that worldly evil tv, she sure seems to have seen so many Hallmark/Hollywood movies to be an expert on the content of "most" of them. 😂

2 minutes ago, GeeGolly said:

And wow, it sounds like their maps are working overtime.

Maybe that's why their electric bill is so high😂

[mythoughtis]

Hallmark isn’t good enough for Jill?   So, a couple of questions come to mind.  
 

Does she think that widows/widowers aren’t allowed to date( see her point number 1).   

She commented that she doesn’t judge people who get divorced for biblical reasons. That implies she does judge people who get divorced for other reasons.  Biblical reasons means adultery and she’s not judging that?   Yet she thinks it’s ok to judge people who get divorced for other reasons? 

[Lilac2000]

I have never seen a Hallmark movie where the character is married and leaves their spouse for the new person in their life. Dating sure. Sometimes even engaged. But never have I seen a marriage broken in a Hallmark movie.

Edited September 4 by Lilac2000

[BradandJanet]

And yet her judgment on adultery, divorce, remarriage, more adultery, more divorce, and more remarriage doesn't seem to apply to certain politicians she greatly admires.

Be consistent Jill.

And stop watching so much television while you're at it. 

[Turquoise]

1 hour ago, mythoughtis said:

Hallmark isn’t good enough for Jill?   So, a couple of questions come to mind.  
 

Does she think that widows/widowers aren’t allowed to date( see her point number 1).   

She commented that she doesn’t judge people who get divorced for biblical reasons. That implies she does judge people who get divorced for other reasons.  Biblical reasons means adultery and she’s not judging that?   Yet she thinks it’s ok to judge people who get divorced for other reasons? 

From personal experience I'm going to have to call BS on the not judging divorced people. I have been told repeatedly by more mainstream versions of Jill that I am Less Than due to my ex's inability to keep it in his pants. You're not going to convince me that fundies aren't even worse.

[BetyBee]

1 hour ago, mythoughtis said:

Does she think that widows/widowers aren’t allowed to date( see her point number 1).   

IMO, a widowed Jill would be on a manhunt in short order. I bet her preference would be a Florida man, so she could live in her beloved FL near her BFF Nurie.

[mythoughtis]

8 minutes ago, BetyBee said:

IMO, a widowed Jill would be on a manhunt in short order. I bet her preference would be a Florida man, so she could live in her beloved FL near her BFF Nurie.

I agree on both counts.  Jill needs a man like a fish needs water.  Her culture wouldn’t  let her be a normal person without one. She’d be ‘lesser than’ to them.   That’s why I couldn’t understand her comment about spouses having died in her Hallmark rant.  
 

 

[laurakaye]

On 9/2/2024 at 4:36 PM, merylinkid said:

Worse what happens if she realizes its not for her AFTER the wedding?   Doe she really have a way out?   Will Jill let her go?

I wonder about this too - and given the missive Jill just posted about sticking with a marriage no matter what, I wonder if she posted that to let her new daughters-in-law know that under no circumstances are they allowed to have buyer's remorse on Jill's sheltered and undereducated sons.  Once you're in, you're in.  No returns, no exchanges.

 

15 hours ago, BradandJanet said:

It's possible Jill will buy herself something new to wear as mother of the groom. She treats herself to new things for these occasions. Maybe Ellen can gently suggest something that won't look too strange in the wedding photos. 

I get the feeling that if Ellen dared to suggest that Jill not wear white to her son's wedding, for example, Jill would out-Jill herself and show up wearing something with a 12-foot train, a veil and a tiara.  If Ellen asks her to tone down the bling, Jill will bedazzle herself from head to toe.  I don't think Jill takes criticism lightly, for some reason.

Edited September 4 by laurakaye

[AstridM]

4 hours ago, lianau said:

I'm not sure it's calculated. I think she jumped into fundiedom with both feet and is doing what she thinks a good fundie should do and behaves the way she thinks a good fundie should behave. It just doesn't come natural to her because she wasn't raised to behave this way .

Fake Rod accent and all?

[AstridM]

2 hours ago, BradandJanet said:

And yet her judgment on adultery, divorce, remarriage, more adultery, more divorce, and more remarriage doesn't seem to apply to certain politicians she greatly admires.

Be consistent Jill.

And stop watching so much television while you're at it. 

R’Amen!

[BradandJanet]

3 hours ago, crazy8s said:

For someone who claims to rarely watch that worldly evil tv, she sure seems to have seen so many Hallmark/Hollywood movies to be an expert on the content of "most" of them. 😂

Maybe that's why their electric bill is so high😂

Too bad David can't find a way to harness the energy from all the preaching, praying, and judging that goes on in that house to power the lights and maps. It might even be enough to run the printing equipment since David doesn't use it very often. 

[crazy8s]

One the pic of Jill and Dave kissing at samuel's graduation - one of Jill's sweet friends comment "You two need to get a ROOM"

Edited September 4 by crazy8s

[Natalie68]

17 hours ago, crazy8s said:

Just to remind us of Jill's choices for a dress for Nurie and Kaylee's weddings.

The pic with Kaylie and her headpiece being askew reminds me of the scene in 16 candles where they are walking the bride down the aisle (after downing muscle relaxers).  

15 hours ago, Tdoc72 said:

She looks like she is drugged off her ass and being walked up the aisle b/c she can’t stand straight. Like the sister from Sixteen Candles who took the muscle relaxers. 

Wasn’t Nurie’s dress a thrift store find or gift from a friend that she had for years?  Am I remembering that right?  I’m surprised Jill didn’t make Nurie wear Jill’s dress (and then call it Nurie’s choice).  

OMG!  Had not read and just posted the same thing!

[AstridM]

1 minute ago, Natalie68 said:

The pic with Kaylie and her headpiece being askew reminds me of the scene in 16 candles where they are walking the bride down the aisle (after downing muscle relaxers).  

Ha! I just rewatched that a few weeks ago. I was shocked to find myself finishing the characters’ sentences, lol 

[Natalie68]

3 minutes ago, AstridM said:

Ha! I just rewatched that a few weeks ago. I was shocked to find myself finishing the characters’ sentences, lol 

LOVE LOVE LOVE that movie!  I can recite just about every line.  That stands for all John Hughes movies!

[oliviabenson]

2 hours ago, laurakaye said:

I wonder about this too - and given the missive Jill just posted about sticking with a marriage no matter what, I wonder if she posted that to let her new daughters-in-law know that under no circumstances are they allowed to have buyer's remorse on Jill's sheltered and undereducated sons.  Once you're in, you're in.  No returns, no exchanges.

 

I get the feeling that if Ellen dared to suggest that Jill not wear white to her son's wedding, for example, Jill would out-Jill herself and show up wearing something with a 12-foot train, a veil and a tiara.  If Ellen asks her to tone down the bling, Jill will bedazzle herself from head to toe.  I don't think Jill takes criticism lightly, for some reason.

Nothing can be uglier than that silver dress 😂.