Sweet Fellowship: Duggars and Friends (aka the Bates Family and Other Featured Families Thread)

[Arwen Evenstar]

Wow Sarah is 34!? Her next book series should be titled Trapped!! Oh girl get some self-esteem gather your money and RUN already. No man is coming you might have to get busy finding him yourself. Don't listen to Sarah Mally and sit and wait for your Prince to suddenly show up. A lot of fashion advice from Stacy London is much needed. Not only will she give you fashion advice but she would hopefully instill some self-esteem into you stat!

Finally, my curiosity got the better of me...I'd never heard of the Maxwell family until this forum....OMG...we should start a Free Sarah campaign. They make the Duggar house rules look like a weekend at Hedonism resort....what a joyless, miserable existence!

[Fuzzysox]

Finally, my curiosity got the better of me...I'd never heard of the Maxwell family until this forum....OMG...we should start a Free Sarah campaign. They make the Duggar house rules look like a weekend at Hedonism resort....what a joyless, miserable existence!

Hence why her new book series should be titled, TRAPPED!! 

[Arwen Evenstar]

Hence why her new book series should be titled, TRAPPED!!

Exactly, O Fuzzy One! It's a book I'd actually buy, but sadly unless she finds a way to Break Maxwell, she's doomed.

With the kids being shadowed and sheltered 24/7 I'm not sure she'd have the opportunity...I can only imagine the punishment for such mutinous thought! I wouldn't doubt it that she's somehow likely being punished by having marriage withheld from her for some sort of insubordination to her patriarchal pig of a father. I read somewhere that she suffers from depression. I'm sure in the Gothard world that may render her as unmarriagable...

[Churchhoney]

Exactly, O Fuzzy One! It's a book I'd actually buy, but sadly unless she finds a way to Break Maxwell, she's doomed.

With the kids being shadowed and sheltered 24/7 I'm not sure she'd have the opportunity...I can only imagine the punishment for such mutinous thought! I wouldn't doubt it that she's somehow likely being punished by having marriage withheld from her for some sort of insubordination to her patriarchal pig of a father. I read somewhere that she suffers from depression. I'm sure in the Gothard world that may render her as unmarriagable...

 

Interesting thought. Her mother, Teri, has had a lot of depression and they've written about it -- in the context of the jail they live in and in the context of the family being widely considered homeschooling gurus. Wonder how that background does affect the marriage market.

[STFUFrank]

Wow Sarah is 34!? Her next book series should be titled Trapped!! Oh girl get some self-esteem gather your money and RUN already. No man is coming you might have to get busy finding him yourself. Don't listen to Sarah Mally and sit and wait for your Prince to suddenly show up. A lot of fashion advice from Stacy London is much needed. Not only will she give you fashion advice but she would hopefully instill some self-esteem into you stat!

She's 3 years younger than me. I couldn't imagine still living at home with my parents. I'm no jet setter but my husband and I have taken short trips and I've taken road trips with my best friend. I got married at 24 but I dated plenty before I met my husband and *gasp* even slept around a bit! I lurk the Maxwells blog more than I care to admit and I don't see genuinely happy smiles. And I'm grateful that I'm a heathen, worldly female who has seen and done things that they look down on.

[louannems]

http://blog.titus2.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/DSC_8454.jpg

I also lurk around the Maxwell blog! Evidently, Sarah writes and has published children's books. I wonder if she even has her own bank account and earns much income from her books. She has a puppy so I guess she pours her love and affection into that while waiting for god to bring a man into her life.

Her mother praises Sarah for cleaning, cooking and organizing their home, the grandparents home, and her brother's home when his wife is big pregnant, while she awaits god to bring her a man! She just took her first short airplane trip in 5 years to visit a friend.

Mrs Maxwell warns other parents about the dangers of sending their kids on youth mission trips. So often, she writes, the youth start a boy/girl inappropriate relationship while missioncationing!!!

[Churchhoney]

Mrs Maxwell warns other parents about the dangers of sending their kids on youth mission trips. So often, she writes, the youth start a boy/girl inappropriate relationship while missioncationing!!!

 

 

At last! Something good about missioncationing!

[Fuzzysox]

http://blog.titus2.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/01/DSC_8454.jpg

I also lurk around the Maxwell blog! Evidently, Sarah writes and has published children's books. I wonder if she even has her own bank account and earns much income from her books. She has a puppy so I guess she pours her love and affection into that while waiting for god to bring a man into her life.

Her mother praises Sarah for cleaning, cooking and organizing their home, the grandparents home, and her brother's home when his wife is big pregnant, while she awaits god to bring her a man! She just took her first short airplane trip in 5 years to visit a friend.

Mrs Maxwell warns other parents about the dangers of sending their kids on youth mission trips. So often, she writes, the youth start a boy/girl inappropriate relationship while missioncationing!!!

Oh the HORROR of children being normal. *shudder* 

[queenanne]

These people make my head hurt.  She's supposed to meet her husband, I suppose, waiting for some nice Christian boy to have a mysterious car breakdown and come knocking on their front door?  My parents used to try something like this on me too, to which point I would usually tell my mother, How? You don't want me going anywhere or doing anything "unsafe" (i.e., poking my nose outdoors after dark); when and where am I supposed to meet these people if new age-appropriate men come to your church at the approximate speed of the Ice Age? 

 

Mother: *shrug with perplexed blank look*

[Defrauder]

Not being familiar with the Maxwells (Oh what I've been missing) I decided to check them out.  After a few minutes of perusing their site that doesn't work very well, I clicked on a random blog from March of 2009 when they moved into a new house.  Here, as listed in the blog, are some of the problems they encountered. 

 

Things that have happened to different family members

The new shower door falls off, but you’re able to grab it, and it’s not broken.
You try to tell someone your new address over the phone. “South 15th” was easy enough to say, but “Santa Fe Street”, is harder. After explaining it several times to people on the phone, a helpful brother suggested saying all three words together, instead of going one by one. The suggestion was tried, but the receiver didn’t get it either. Oh well. We’ll keep working :-) .
When Melanie was over for a meal, she is asked by several different people where things are to be found in the kitchen because she organized the kitchen.
Honey slept in Dad and Mom’s room for several years, until we got new carpet, and then she wasn’t allowed on the carpet. For the last five or six years, she’s slept in the boys’ room. Now that we have tile in the main part of the house she can go wherever she wants. The first night, she was in Dad and Mom’s room. The second night, the boys wanted to see if she would stay in theirs. No, it didn’t work. Why? the girls wondered. How did you know she didn’t want to? —- Because, they said, she panted and stood at the door.
When you get up in the night, and your stomach feels sick, you head for the kitchen to grab some Tums. You feel like you’re in another family’s house–it still feels so new!
Since the house is a reversed floor plan from the old house, several things have happened. For example, you’re backing out the door with a box, and you reach for the door handle, and you can’t find it. Oops. It’s on the other side.
Monday, school resumes and for those who are out of school there is still a lot to do unpacking and organizing :-) .

Sarah

 

Not to offend the intellectually disabled, but their intellectual disability speaks for itself.   

[Fuzzysox]

Like the rest of these fundies, she seems way too sheltered, naive and completely immature for her age. Poor thing sounds like she can't process change really well. 

[GeeGolly]

Not being familiar with the Maxwells (Oh what I've been missing) I decided to check them out.  After a few minutes of perusing their site that doesn't work very well, I clicked on a random blog from March of 2009 when they moved into a new house.  Here, as listed in the blog, are some of the problems they encountered. 

 

Things that have happened to different family members

The new shower door falls off, but you’re able to grab it, and it’s not broken.

You try to tell someone your new address over the phone. “South 15th” was easy enough to say, but “Santa Fe Street”, is harder. After explaining it several times to people on the phone, a helpful brother suggested saying all three words together, instead of going one by one. The suggestion was tried, but the receiver didn’t get it either. Oh well. We’ll keep working :-) .

When Melanie was over for a meal, she is asked by several different people where things are to be found in the kitchen because she organized the kitchen.

Honey slept in Dad and Mom’s room for several years, until we got new carpet, and then she wasn’t allowed on the carpet. For the last five or six years, she’s slept in the boys’ room. Now that we have tile in the main part of the house she can go wherever she wants. The first night, she was in Dad and Mom’s room. The second night, the boys wanted to see if she would stay in theirs. No, it didn’t work. Why? the girls wondered. How did you know she didn’t want to? —- Because, they said, she panted and stood at the door.

When you get up in the night, and your stomach feels sick, you head for the kitchen to grab some Tums. You feel like you’re in another family’s house–it still feels so new!

Since the house is a reversed floor plan from the old house, several things have happened. For example, you’re backing out the door with a box, and you reach for the door handle, and you can’t find it. Oops. It’s on the other side.

Monday, school resumes and for those who are out of school there is still a lot to do unpacking and organizing :-) .

Sarah

 

Not to offend the intellectually disabled, but their intellectual disability speaks for itself.   

Just, oh my.

[Arwen Evenstar]

I'm wondering if the Maxwells will allow Ellie to be spayed....what occurred to me is one has to wonder what sort of drastic measures they'll take to keep the dog from sniffing crotches and licking its own parts....

She's a lovely dog for sure.

[MunichNark]

The Maxhells really are something else. Terrified Maxhell is married to a control freak who micromanages every.little.thing. Sarah (is that the elder girl or rather, woman?) having a dog seems like a child substitute, so he can have something to love at least. What a terrible life. And she's mid 30s??????? Seriously???

 

They are beyond awful.  The Duggars really are a hotbed of liberal thought in comparison. Shudder.

 

The blog is just...well. What exciting lives they do lead. Yawn.

 

On a different note, what's the story with decorating? Erin Bates seems obsessed with it, and although she does have good taste, I don't get the constant changes. All those fundy girls seem way too much into those signs that say "love", "family", etc. Is that really all the rage now? I thought those signs were done.

[SometimesBites]

The slogans-as-decor thing is very strange to me. The Browns of Sister Wives do this, too--to an extreme. Between that and the wordy t-shirts the Duggars wear, one gets a sense that they apparently can't remember what to think unless they can read it on the wall or on their wardrobe every minute of the day.

[BitterApple]

Erin changes her decor all the time, including the wall color. I mean it's one thing to swap out knick knacks and pillows, but constant repainting would be a pain in the ass. I think it's a combination of too much Pinterest and too much time on their hands.

I also think Fundie girls are heavily invested in showing their counterparts how picture perfect their lives and husbands are. To look at these girls Instagram pages, it's sunshine and unicorn glitter all.the.time.

Edited February 15, 2016 by BitterApple

[GeeGolly]

Sayings hung on the wall are both Pinterest and Gothard approved. And then there's maturity level. Think grammar school, high school, first place. How different the decor would be for most folks. Well for Fundy's it's all rolled into one.

[lookeyloo]

And all the crafty stores are selling those signs, plaques, decals, etc. for decorating.  It's easy enough to go buy a few and hang them up and think you are so clever and creative and that there is more love and style in your house than anyone else's.  I have none of those things, so I must have an under decorated house with no love in it, because there are no affirmations stating it.

[kokapetl]

Unless that person actually does have an intellectual disability, I can't understand how a new address is difficult. Santa Fe is not a difficult name to pronounce. It's not "Xuxa" or "Krzysztof". And plenty of intellectually disabled people know how to state their own address. 10 Maxhell Street, Cloistertown.

[louannems]

If these fundie women had friends outside of family, careers or jobs, interests outside of homemaking, they would not have the time or interest in constant decorating changes.

[RazzleberryPie]

They frames sayings and wall decals aren't just fundie, they're everywhere. Besides being sold in stores, there are also home parties for those decals.

They frames sayings and wall decals aren't just fundie, they're everywhere. Besides being sold in stores, there are also home parties for those decals.

[SometimesBites]

Erin changes her decor all the time, including the wall color. I mean it's one thing to swap out knick knacks and pillows, but constant repainting would be a pain in the ass. I think it's a combination of too much Pinterest and too much time on their hands.

So true. Marriage is HIGH CONCEPT for them. They fetishize having attained what they've been taught from birth is the be-all-end-all of female purpose. When you're no longer the blushing bride with the prize package of your virginity up for offer, the drop into the everyday-ness of your life of four walls, joyful availability, and the looming specter of becoming a brood mare must seem steep, indeed--like falling into an abyss of irrelevance. That's why Jessa put up a gazillion "NEVER BEFORE SEEN!!" photos of her wedding when Amy got hitched: "Hey, World! It's ME! Remember when I was a virgin, and therefore extremely important??"

[Fuzzysox]

I nominated these fundie girls for that show on TLC called Married by Mom and Dad. They need a push out the door already. No man is coming you have to get out of your comfort zone and start looking.

 

You have to wonder why Sarah is kept in that prison to waste away? Do they need a workhorse that brings in money or do they simply want her to be their SAHD forever!?

[Barb23]

I've been looking at the Maxwell's site & thought it was Mom Maxwell who had the *horrors* Pepsi addiction. I feel so bad for Sarah & the others. I can't believe Ma & Pa Maxwell made one of the sons live home again (sleeping in a bunk bed in the boys room) because his marriage was called off. He had already renovated a house in preparation for the marriage but that house sits idle now.

I also checked out the Bateses site & surprised how worldly the kids are. Alyssa listed The Count of Monte Cristo as her favorite book. A couple of them list Perry Mason as their favorite movie. Judson likes the Curious George movie & Jeb's favorite is Peppa Pig.

[Defrauder]

Just, oh my.

With their 'problems' in the new home I'm thinking, the  one where 'Santa Fe Street' was so difficult for them and 'harder to say' was because they literally didn't know the correct way of pronouncing it and were probably calling it Santa Fee Street instead of pronouncing it 'Fay'.  Then onto the 'reverse' house plan with the doorknobs - on the opposite side - they probably hung the doors wrong.  LOL.  Could be the reason the shower door fell off.  

[Absolom]

The Maxwell son with the called off wedding got engaged again about the next year and is now married with a daughter.  I don't think he ever got to move into the house until after the actual wedding.

[Defrauder]

The Maxwell son with the called off wedding got engaged again about the next year and is now married with a daughter.  I don't think he ever got to move into the house until after the actual wedding.

These people crack me up.  Why can't they be trusted alone?  What was he going to suddenly start throwing all night parties with music and dancing or get tempted to watch a football game?   It also sickens me to no end that only the sons can own a home of their own.  They give sexism a legitimacy protected by freedom of religion using it to foster making woman submissive based on  gender.

[BitterApple]

So true. Marriage is HIGH CONCEPT for them. They fetishize having attained what they've been taught from birth is the be-all-end-all of female purpose. When you're no longer the blushing bride with the prize package of your virginity up for offer, the drop into the everyday-ness of your life of four walls, joyful availability, and the looming specter of becoming a brood mare must seem steep, indeed--like falling into an abyss of irrelevance.

That is literally the best description of their attitude towards marriage that I've ever read. You're 100% correct, it's a fetish. As is maintaining the appearance that you're in a perpetual honeymoon stage. Do these people never have the normal marital squabbles over money, annoying habits and household chores? I know they live in Bizarro World, but it's pretty unrealistic, even for Fundies.

Edited February 15, 2016 by BitterApple

[GeeGolly]

These people crack me up.  Why can't they be trusted alone?  What was he going to suddenly start throwing all night parties with music and dancing or get tempted to watch a football game?   It also sickens me to no end that only the sons can own a home of their own.  They give sexism a legitimacy protected by freedom of religion using it to foster making woman submissive based on  gender.

They make their children afraid to be alone. The dude probably didn't want to live in his own house alone. How could he possibly trust himself?! God forbid he woke up sporting a chubby and had the opportunity to finish the dance.

[Mollie]

The same is true for Mullet in that her motivation for 'letting it up to God to decide the family size' is far less about her faith, or even a love of children, but, rather, constant pregnancy is constant attention and is considered a fundie woman 'accomplishment' and supposed evidence of god's favor.

If she truly "left it up to God", she wouldn't have made appointments with a fertility specialist.

[Absolom]

Once again just for the sake of being factual Michelle didn't see a fertility doctor.  TLC just wanted us to think that.  It was a high risk OB that she saw. 

[Fuzzysox]

The Maxwell son with the called off wedding got engaged again about the next year and is now married with a daughter.  I don't think he ever got to move into the house until after the actual wedding.

Is that Joseph? He isn't bad looking. I feel so sorry for his wife Eliza. Pretty girl but she is in her frump wear and it drowns her.

[Defrauder]

If she truly "left it up to God", she wouldn't have made appointments with a fertility specialist.

Or obsessively tracking her fertility chart to take control out of God's hands. 

They make their children afraid to be alone. The dude probably didn't want to live in his own house alone. How could he possibly trust himself?! God forbid he woke up sporting a chubby and had the opportunity to finish the dance.

They talk about 'losing children to the world' and 'keeping their hearts' so I'm sure they drill fear into their children's heads as to how fearful and terrible the world is outside of their views.

[Defrauder]

And all of the matching outfits!  They're trying to do everything 'perfectly' and trying to make anyone who sees them think they are 'perfect'.  They're only fooling themselves hiding their true imperfections beneath a superficial appearance. I don't buy it.  Deep down they must really feel screwed up so they do everything they can to make all outside appearances - smiles, happy faces, matchy clothes cover how they truly feel.  Most of them aren't even ALLOWED to frown.  It's dishonest and deceitful to betray one's true emotions constantly and try to hide them beneath a false happiness.

[STFUFrank]

These people crack me up. Why can't they be trusted alone? What was he going to suddenly start throwing all night parties with music and dancing or get tempted to watch a football game? It also sickens me to no end that only the sons can own a home of their own. They give sexism a legitimacy protected by freedom of religion using it to foster making woman submissive based on gender.

It's obvious to me that since the Maxwells do EVERYTHING together that he may have mowed the lawn or built a deck by himself or hired someone else. You know how it can get out of hand when you let your unmarried sons make landscaping decisions alone. It leads to anarchy.

[Defrauder]

Real sincere life is frowny sometimes and not perfectly matched.  They're like actors in some make believe play they've devised to kid themselves into believing everything is happy and perfect.

[Jynnan tonnix]

Unless that person actually does have an intellectual disability, I can't understand how a new address is difficult. Santa Fe is not a difficult name to pronounce. It's not "Xuxa" or "Krzysztof". And plenty of intellectually disabled people know how to state their own address. 10 Maxhell Street, Cloistertown.

I can't even fathom how something as innocuous as "Santa Fe" could cause anyone a problem. It's not as though it's a name no one has ever heard of. How badly could you mangle the pronunciation that a person of normal intelligence wouldn't be able to work it out?

 

Not like when we were stationed in Hawaii and lived on Maka'unulau St. Or even Hale Ali'i. I had some fun times doing changes on address over the phone with utility companies. The ones on the mainland. The ones in Hawaii were generally pretty impressed with my pronunciation. But it's not like it's rocket science in any case.

 

For that matter, being Polish, "Krzysztof" doesn't pose any problems either. Though I'll admit that I'd probably butcher "Xuxa"

[kokapetl]

Who are the court reporters? They had the weirdest website, they "communicated" with each other via blog posts.

[louannems]

http://blog.titus2.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/DSC_3529.jpg

Check out this wall decor!!! It's the best I've seen yet!!!

The Maxwell family had a push up challenge. But they did not want anyone going off to join a gym. Because of evil music, TV, and defrauding work out attire!

[GeeGolly]

I agree with Defrauder, the must be pronouncing it Santa Fee. They wrote that they tried saying "all at once" Santafee. Which sounds like a scrambled version of the word fantasy. People on the other end of the phone were probably saying Santa "Fay"?, Fantasy?, and they were saying, no, no, Santa Fee or maybe Santa Feh. Geography much?

[BradandJanet]

http://blog.titus2.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/DSC_3529.jpg

Check out this wall decor!!! It's the best I've seen yet!!!

 

 

I used to babysit for a family that had a giant picture of Jesus on the wall. Their apartment was small and the picture was huge. The eyes moved, I swear. Creepy. It was probably part of a surveillance system for the soul. Wonder how the kids turned out?

[Tabbygirl521]

SanTAYFE street. Duh

[duggarshow]

If she truly "left it up to God", she wouldn't have made appointments with a fertility specialist.

 

Actually Michelle saw a Perinatologist - a physician who specializes in high-risk obstetrics - not a fertility doctor. 

[Mollie]

Actually Michelle saw a Perinatologist - a physician who specializes in high-risk obstetrics - not a fertility doctor. 

It was a high-risk fertility doctor.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2633975/Am-I-ready-catch-baby-Mother-19-Michelle-Duggar-visits-high-risk-fertility-doctor-hopes-having-MORE-children-aged-47.html

 

http://www.people.com/article/michelle-duggar-more-kids-tlc

Edited February 15, 2016 by Mollie

[GeeGolly]

Isn't this the fellowship thread?

[Sew Sumi]

The Maxwell son with the called off wedding got engaged again about the next year and is now married with a daughter. I don't think he ever got to move into the house until after the actual wedding.

Nope. Steve and Terrified used it as an office for their oh so many enterprises. The kids were allowed to come over and dust the ceiling fans.

Forgot to add: I have an autographed copy of Poor Sarah's first tome, Summer With the Moodys. Not surprisingly, her penmanship is that of a third grader just learning cursive.

Edited February 15, 2016 by Sew Sumi

[SometimesBites]

I used to babysit for a family that had a giant picture of Jesus on the wall. Their apartment was small and the picture was huge. The eyes moved, I swear. Creepy. It was probably part of a surveillance system for the soul. Wonder how the kids turned out?

Stephen King tells a GREAT story like that in On Writing. A woman he helped move who had a near-life-size agonal Christ (with creepy eyes that followed you) hanging in their living room asked him if he was saved. "I hastened to tell her that I was saved as saved could be, although I didn't think you could ever be good enough to have that version of Jesus intervene on your behalf. The pain had driven him out of his mind. You could see it on his face. If that guy came back, he probably wouldn't be in a saving mood." He partly based the story of Carrie on this lady. :)

[BradandJanet]

Stephen King tells a GREAT story like that in On Writing. A woman he helped move who had a near-life-size agonal Christ (with creepy eyes that followed you) hanging in their living room asked him if he was saved. "I hastened to tell her that I was saved as saved could be, although I didn't think you could ever be good enough to have that version of Jesus intervene on your behalf. The pain had driven him out of his mind. You could see it on his face. If that guy came back, he probably wouldn't be in a saving mood." He partly based the story of Carrie on this lady. :)

 

This family never talked religion. That was good because it was a picture of a Catholic Jesus with the visible heart thing I didn't understand. 

 

Still, I was given the words to all the bedtime prayers the kids had to recite. Let's just say I wasn't getting enough per hour to justify that much prayer duty. 

 

However, in the odd way of things in the real world, the father, who perhaps wasn't so devout, worked for the city sewer system and told me in great detail one night about all the interesting stuff that arrived at the waste water plant and what was done with it. 

 

Enlightenment is everywhere, if only people like the Duggars could see it.

[BitterApple]

It's pretty common for Catholics to have pictures of Jesus is in the house. My grandmother had a large portrait in her den, although Jesus had suspiciously Teutonic features, lol.

[duggarshow]

It was a high-risk fertility doctor.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2633975/Am-I-ready-catch-baby-Mother-19-Michelle-Duggar-visits-high-risk-fertility-doctor-hopes-having-MORE-children-aged-47.html

 

http://www.people.com/article/michelle-duggar-more-kids-tlc

 

I don't want to annoy the moderators or slide too far off topic, so this'll be my last post on the subject. Dr Paul Wendel is not a fertility specialist. This site details his practice and lists some of the conditions he treats.