S01.E07: Welcome Grandbaby Bates

[maraleia]

 

Zach and Whitney's baby is due in less than 2 weeks, but the nursery is nowhere near ready! Lucky for them, there are plenty of Bates to lend a hand. As Whitney's due-date nears (and passes!) the whole family gets anxious to meet the newest addition to the ever-growing clan. Later, Erin shares surprising news with her parents.

[Sew Sumi]

An epidural, but not before Kelly assured Whitney that it was an "okay" thing to do. Take note, Duggars! There is no shame in getting a stupid shot! No need to martyr oneself like poor Anna has chosen to do. 

 

Had Erin miscarried this pregnancy, I wonder if UP would have taken out the "double date" scene? Keeping that in would have been brutal for them. I'm glad that it's working out well for them...so far. I've read that second and third trimester stillbirths are still a possibility while taking the heparin. 

[Misslindsey]

 

An epidural, but not before Kelly assured Whitney that it was an "okay" thing to do. Take note, Duggars! There is no shame in getting a stupid shot! No need to martyr oneself like poor Anna has chosen to do.

I concur, even watching on the television I was telling Whitney to get the epidural, because she looked like she was in so much pain. 

 

I know the Bates family believes in the same Gothard stuff that the Duggars do, but Gil and Kelly seem so much more genuine than Michelle and Jim Bob. Kelly seemed excited and happy when Bradley finally arrived, where as Michelle can barely fake excitement for Anna. 

[CarolMK]

Nice to see the new grandbaby. I do wonder why labor was induced when she was only a week overdue, isn't the usual protocol 2 weeks? I know that induced labor can make it very intense, good thing Whitney didn't have any problem asking for an epidural. Kudos to her for allowing the entire family to be there. We told family we were going to the hosptial with our kids but didn't ask them to come until after the births..good thing too, as I ended up having 2 c-sections. 

Looks like Chad can do just about anything. I think he and Erin will be heavily featured through the show. Alyssa and John will be in the background, or may appear sometimes, but not all episodes. I'm wondering how many episodes are left and if they are going to have another season later on this year.

[Steff]

As I've said before, they are just so darn nice, that I have to remind myself that I have real issues with their religious beliefs.  BUT, I've also always felt that if you don't shove it down my throat, we're good.  and they aren't shoving it down my throat (family prayer in a moment isn't an issue for me). 

 

That said, I did have a brief wavering away from so darn nice when Whitney said that Kelly said an epidural was "okay".  Hell, they hooked up my epidural and I went to sleep for the next 7 hours.   Then I reminded myself that she's "converting" for lack of a better word to what Zach's belief system/family way is (and she's not the first nor the last person to do that) so looking to Kelly for approval instead of her mom for advice kinda sorta in a warped religious way makes sense.  Plus, didn't hear her mom at all, so figuring maybe she's not camera friendly/ready/willing. 

 

I did get a chuckle from Kelly realizing that she can't just say "I've tried having sex to induce labor, but walking works better for me" and then just "never mind" with a giggle. 

 

There were lots of little things that I enjoyed. 

 

all the girls almost in unison "you're not fat, you're pregnant".  A fat preggers lady needs to hear that reassurance. Especially at 9 months.

How hysterically nervous Zak was.  It's always fun to watch a first time dad totally freak.  And everyone else just cracking up at him.  How they can laugh AT someone and it not be something nasty or a cruel prank.  Plus they actually LAUGHED! like doubled over cracking up at him.  Not a tittering giggle that is quickly stiffled. 

Kelly showing emotion & worry when Erin told her she was preggers.  Michelle would never let the fake half smile crack & a real emotion show thru.  Followed by everyone knowing the secret and passing it around. 

 

I can't help but compare them to the Duggars and boy, they make the Duggars look BAD.  Emotionless, disconnected, aloof, and cold. 

[bybrandy]

Outside of crazy religious people the mommy wars are a very real thing.  Women get in their heads that if they don't do it 100% pain med free, or if they don't breast feed for 2 years, or if they don't make their own organic baby food, that they are doing something wrong that they will be judged for and that will cause their children to be less perfect little snowflakes.

And it's a lie a whole swath of women have bought into.

 

Be the most perfect pinterest mommy and your children will never be perfect and it will never rain.  And they don't realize that the pinterest mommies aren't showing the crappy days, and of course they have them, everyone has them.

 

So while I can see people tweaking on Whitney getting permission from Kelly.  I could see it being less a relgion thing and more a, this is not part of my birth plan and is it okay if I go off this birth plan.  Kelly used epidurals five times.  Hey, I like those younger kids.  The sky didn't fall.  They  are happy and healthy an normal.  Okay, I can have this epidural.

[Mountainair]

Oh my gosh! I would die of boredom if I had to go to the hospital and wait for someone to give birth. How long was everyone there for? 

 

Standard protocol lately around here is to induce after one week past due date. I was induced (a week before due date) with my second child and I was miserable. With my first I labored at home for the first 12 hours then went to the hospital. I have a high threshold for pain and don't hold people to my own standard but I was surprised to see that Whitney opted for the epi. so early. Based off of footage we saw I assumed she had been laboring for quite a while when she got it when in reality she was only in labor a few hours. Whatever, to each their own but there is no way in hell she could have had a successful home birth if she only made it five hours before needing pain meds. Child birth is painful. I had epi's with both my boys albeit, at the last possible minute I was allowed to do so. 

 

Bradley though was a cute baby and most babies aren't cute just minutes after birth. I also wondered about all those people in the room. I had my mom and husband in the birthing room but no one was allowed to visit me until I had been moved to my recovery room which took a few hours as I had to be able to stand on my own and empty my bladder on my own before I could be moved. 

 

On a different note, I've been having baby fever lately and this episode did nothing to stifle that :)

[gunderda]

I don't know anything about having babies, but only from what I've heard from friends.  But isn't there only so long they can wait for the baby to be born after the water breaks??  My friend had to do a c-section because they were getting to that deadline and it was either way and see if an progression was made (which very little was in the time she was in labor) or just go ahead with a c-section. And it just seemed like Whitney was in labor for a super long time after her water broke. 

 

So I guess I'm just wondering if my friend was lied to lol 

[trimthatfat]

Then I reminded myself that she's "converting" for lack of a better word to what Zak's belief system/family way is (and she's not the first nor the last person to do that) so looking to Kelly for approval instead of her mom for advice kinda sorta in a warped religious way makes sense.  Plus, didn't hear her mom at all, so figuring maybe she's not camera friendly/ready/willing. 

Both of Whitney's parents passed away when she was a child.

 

So happy for Whitney and Zach.

[JessDVD]

Haven't seen the ep because no cable sad face, but I can weigh in on my experiences, at least with the childbirth thing - the offices around here will induce if you get to 41, 41 1/2 weeks. I hear about half and half induction was awful, induction was awesome. I was induced with my 3rd at 39 weeks, after delivering a 10 pounder the traditional way at 41 weeks. 1st and 2nd labors were 36 and 22 hours, epidural had worn off, painful, long, and awful. 3rd labor, the one induced at 39 weeks, was 11 hours, a breeze, no pain after epidural, laughing at the OB's jokes in between pushes. Also, they want the baby to be born within 24 hours after water breaking to avoid infection, so that means either pitocin to get things moving, or a c-section if that doesn't work.

 

I also have seen a lot of the "Must have the perfect labor" sorts of people, and can definitely see Whitney wanting reassurance that God's gift to laboring women is okay. There are risks with epidurals too, nothing is perfect, so that may have been part of it also.

[gunderda]

Both of Whitney's parents passed away when she was a child.

 

So happy for Whitney and Zach.

Who were the people who were waiting for them at the hospital then?? I thought she said her parents but maybe she just said family? 

And when Kelly was talking about who were allowed to stay for the labor she said some of the girls and the 'moms'. 

[trimthatfat]

Who were the people who were waiting for them at the hospital then?? I thought she said her parents but maybe she just said family? 

And when Kelly was talking about who were allowed to stay for the labor she said some of the girls and the 'moms'. 

I don't know who the people were - I don't know Whitney's family personally. I could have sworn that it's been said that Whitney's biological parents are no longer living. Maybe Whitney had adoptive family members that was there.

Edited February 13, 2015 by trimthatfat

[gunderda]

I don't know who the people were - I don't know Whitney's family personally. I could have sworn that it's been said that Whitney's biological parents are no longer living. Maybe Whitney had adoptive family members that was there.

Sorry if that sounded accusatory - it was more a of 'my mind is confused' question lol

But yea, I think I remember hearing that about her parents too so hopefully someone can clarify :) 

[CarolMK]

I believe Whitney was adopted by a minister and his wife when she was a young teen after her parents died. Not sure if she has any siblings, the show hasn't talked about that as far as I know. She did not grow up following Gothard if I recall correctly, but has embraced it now that she and Zack are married. 

[Absolom]

She has at least adopted some of the more superficial elements such as wearing skirts around the Bates family and so far no birth control.  I wonder how much of the actual supposed theology she has absorbed.

[Sew Sumi]

Both of Whitney's parents passed away when she was a child.

 

So happy for Whitney and Zach.

I presume the poster was referring to Whitney's parents via adoption, who live locally. 

[trimthatfat]

I presume the poster was referring to Whitney's parents via adoption, who live locally. 

I realized that later on, hence the comment I made about the family members possibly being the adoptive ones. I hadn't realized she still had a relationship with them so I think I'm confusing her with someone else.

[Sew Sumi]

Whitney's father is a minister (I think possibly one with actual schooling). He officiated her wedding, with some help from Gil, so I'd guess she's still quite close with her adoptive family. I think the Owenses have both natural and adopted children; I want to say she was the oldest of four or five?

[Micks Picks]

I don't get UP tv but this episode sounded nice, not gruesome like Michelle Duggar's birthings.  Or those of Anna Duggar.  That would turn me off pronto.  Whitney sounded normal and the whole thing sounds like it was quite tasteful.

[Ljohnson1987]

I thought Fundies were against epidurals. So glad that Whitney was able to make her own choice about that. 

[KarmaG]

This was a great episode. So awesome to see any family that welcomes their inlaws so awesomely as this family does. I love that Kelly sees Whitney as a daughter, not just a daughter in law. Poor Chad was called to come rescue the family again, this time with the nursery.

[Misslindsey]

 

Poor Chad was called to come rescue the family again, this time with the nursery.

At least they recognize that they call Chad to help for various things and are appreciative. Jim Bob was such a dick to Ben and sometimes to Derrick. I am not really a fan of either Ben or Derrick, but they were treated horribly by Jim Bob and some of the other family members, more so Ben than Derrick, but it irritated me. At least Gil, Kelly, and the family respect all the in-laws. Though Chad must have some incredible patience to help out with all the various projects that the Bates family takes on.

[BitterApple]

I have mixed feelings on Chad helping out. On the one hand, I think it's great he's willing to lend a hand to his in-laws, but on the other I think it's a little selfish for Gil and Kelly to treat him like an on-call handyman. Chad has a full time job, a household and a wife who is expecting. Meanwhile the Bateses have half a dozen teenage/grown sons who live at home who can do the same things Chad does. I agree the Bateses are better than the Duggars in many ways, but they still pull the same kind of crap JimBob and Michelle do when it comes to expecting free help.

[JessDVD]

I'm fervently hoping for the sake of Chad, Erin, and their baby to come, as well as order in the universe that all this "We asked Chad to help!" business is just camera fodder and not what it's like all the time.

[KarmaG]

At least they recognize that they call Chad to help for various things and are appreciative. Jim Bob was such a dick to Ben and sometimes to Derrick. I am not really a fan of either Ben or Derrick, but they were treated horribly by Jim Bob and some of the other family members, more so Ben than Derrick, but it irritated me. At least Gil, Kelly, and the family respect all the in-laws. Though Chad must have some incredible patience to help out with all the various projects that the Bates family takes on.

 

I can't comment on that because I don't watch that show. I really wish people would watch this show and not compare all the time to the other show. Different family, different way of doing things.

[Sew Sumi]

I can't comment on that because I don't watch that show. I really wish people would watch this show and not compare all the time to the other show. Different family, different way of doing things.

Unfortunately, they are always going to be compared because they know one another, and follow the teachings of the same cult. Both of those factors will always invite comparisons. Sorry. 

[KarmaG]

I'm glad I get to enjoy the show without the comparisons. I'm sure it makes it a totally different show to watch when there's nothing to compare it to, to only see a happy family/extended family :)

Edited February 16, 2015 by KarmaG

[Sew Sumi]

I'm happy for you. However, you are pretty much the exception around here. :) Most of us migrated over here from the Duggar boards. 

[Steff]

the only reason I know who the Bates are is because of seeing them on the Duggars & liking them more than the Duggars.  I can't help but make comparisons.  It's taken until this newest show for me to figure out it's because of the personal interactions between everyone that makes me like them more. 

 

IMO, in typical reality tv cycles, in 2 or 3 more seasons, I'll see enough that makes me cringe that I'll start to pick them apart like the Duggars, but right now, I'm enjoying it.  I know that will eventually end. 

Edited February 16, 2015 by Steff

[BitterApple]

the only reason I know who the Bates are is because of seeing them on the Duggars & liking them more than the Duggars.  I can't help but make comparisons.  It's taken until this newest show for me to figure out it's because of the personal interactions between everyone that makes me like them more. 

 

IMO, in typical reality tv cycles, in 2 or 3 more seasons, I'll see enough that makes me cringe that I'll start to pick them apart like the Duggars, but right now, I'm enjoying it.  I know that will eventually end. 

That's usually the way it goes with reality shows. There's a 2 year honeymoon period before the cracks start to show and the criticism starts. It's happened with 19K&C, J&K+8, and now with the Little Couple. Although I like the Bateses, from everything I've read they're even more hard-core Gothard than the Duggars, so it makes me a little wary of jumping on the love train.

[Absolom]

More hard core in what ways if you don't mind saying? 

[Squirrely]

More hard core in what ways if you don't mind saying?

Gil sits on the board for Got-hard. So he is one of the people who clearly thinks Gothard has done no wrong. He follows (and leads his family under) the teachings of a despicable abuser.

This family certainly comes across better right now than the Duggars do on their show, but make no mistakes. They're just as bad, if not worse. Probably worse because so many people are falling under their spell.

Edited February 22, 2015 by Squirrely

[yogi2014L]

That's usually the way it goes with reality shows. There's a 2 year honeymoon period before the cracks start to show and the criticism starts. It's happened with 19K&C, J&K+8, and now with the Little Couple. Although I like the Bateses, from everything I've read they're even more hard-core Gothard than the Duggars, so it makes me a little wary of jumping on the love train.

Cracks in the little couple?? NO! I love them they are perfect. LOL sorry for the off topic, on to lurk on the LC boards...what am I missing

 

And the Bates kids just seem way more normal regarding Bates vs Duggars. Bates are relate-able and have personalities. You can't fake that as much as the Duggars try. 

Glad Whit had the epidural

Edited February 24, 2015 by yogi2014L

[riverblue22]

I don't know which family is more into the cult, but the Bates family comes across much better.  I can't believe they even like the Duggars!  I would expect Kelly to run in the other direction whenever Michelle popped up.

[Curious5]

What cult?  It seems like anyone who wants large families are looked down on.  This family are hard workers, the kids have jobs, have their own homes - even in another state.  Only thing it seems to be mocked is their faith and I'm sure no one is doing that.

[SunnyBeBe]

ABSOLOM, ON 16 FEB 2015 - 3:29 PM, SAID:

More hard core in what ways if you don't mind saying?
Gil sits on the board for Got-hard. So he is one of the people who clearly thinks Gothard has done no wrong. He follows (and leads his family under) the teachings of a despicable abuser.

This family certainly comes across better right now than the Duggars do on their show, but make no mistakes. They're just as bad, if not worse. Probably worse because so many people are falling under their spell.

 

Edited by Squirrely, February 22 2015. 05:56 PM.

 

Very true.  Don't be fooled.  The Bates may seem pretty nice, but they are hardcore.  They have never pretended otherwise.

[Absolom]

 

 

More hard core in what ways if you don't mind saying?

Gil sits on the board for Got-hard. So he is one of the people who clearly thinks Gothard has done no wrong. He follows (and leads his family under) the teachings of a despicable abuser.

This family certainly comes across better right now than the Duggars do on their show, but make no mistakes. They're just as bad, if not worse. Probably worse because so many people are falling under their spell.

This was quote above as from me.  Only the question is mine.  

 

I understand that they are followers of Gothard just as the Duggars are. I was curious as to why the poster thought the Bates family was even more hard core than the Duggars.  I still don't see that they are more hard core, but that's OK.  I was wondering about specific examples in their daily lives more than Gil on the board of IBLP.  

 

 

[Curious5]

Never heard of Gothart - looked up - apparently he was cleared of any charges but acted in an "inappropriate manner"

 

I suppose it would be hard to place yourself as a "leader" with every action of the group and never mess up.  I sure hope he didn't to anything and has learned his lesson.  Since I just started watching it this year I was not aware of Gothart background.

[andromeda331]

I had hoped in this episode they would go into Whitney's background more. I'd love to hear. I know she lost her parents at a young age and was adopted by another family. Maybe it'll come up in later episodes but it would have be nice to hear her own stories about her life, her family and childhood. 

[Emme]

I suppose it would be hard to place yourself as a "leader" with every action of the group and never mess up.  I sure hope he didn't to anything and has learned his lesson.  Since I just started watching it this year I was not aware of Gothart background.

 

Well, I consider myself the "leader" of my family. I certainly mess up. However,  I find the despicable actions of Bill Gothard more than just "messing up." Not to mention the alarming tenets of the Gothard movement (cult) in general.

[Squirrely]

Well, I consider myself the "leader" of my family. I certainly mess up. However, I find the despicable actions of Bill Gothard more than just "messing up." Not to mention the alarming tenets of the Gothard movement (cult) in general.

Exactly. Gothard is a disgusting pervert and I don't think anyone was surprised. This is a dirty old man who's never even been married telling others how to raise families and to breed like rabbits, all the while surrounding himself with pretty young things in his centers.

If anyone is curious, Google terms like ATI abuse and ex-ATI. There are blogs and support sites galore that will give you insight as to why this cult is so damaging and scary.

Edited February 26, 2015 by Squirrely

[gunderda]

They are just more personable and appear to have more natural personalities than the Duggars.  Duggars seem a bit like robots. 

I think that's why people like them better. 

[Almost 3000]

Never heard of Gothart - looked up - apparently he was cleared of any charges but acted in an "inappropriate manner"

 

I suppose it would be hard to place yourself as a "leader" with every action of the group and never mess up.  I sure hope he didn't to anything and has learned his lesson.  Since I just started watching it this year I was not aware of Gothart background.

There have been problems with various Gothard locations and another family member and there has never been an acknowledgement of any wrongful actions. Many young people have come forward with troubling stories while working and/or studying at these facilities.