Pet Peeves: Aka Things That Make You Go "Gah!"

[TattleTeeny]

6 hours ago, Petunia13 said:

Well then what is the point of going if you are going to deliberately flout the beliefs or do the exact opposite to be cute? Not only is is a not cool thing to do as a human being, the person is wasting time and ten % ?

But for weddings or stuff like that, I don't go to church at all, so I don't know if this was directed at me. Still though, if I were prone to lying I'd have no more of a problem doing it in a church at a wedding than I would elsewhere. People here, I believe, are recounting stories from childhood, when they had no choice in their religious responsibilities.

 

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twerking in hotpants on a pulpit. 

This imagery is brilliant!

Edited August 21, 2016 by TattleTeeny

[Petunia13]

I think children can have choices is it assumed none ever do? I told my parents I wanted to be a vegetarian v young and they accepted and accommodated that. 

[auntlada]

Had I told my parents when I was a child that I didn't want to go to church, they would have said, "Well, you're going. Put your shoes on." I had no belief objections, however, only objections because I didn't want to come in from playing on Sunday afternoon and because The Wonderful World of Disney was on TV Sunday nights, so I never got to see it.

I was raised (and still am) Southern Baptist, but although I did hear hellfire and brimstone sermons, our church also concentrated a lot on the love of God. I heard more of the other as a teenager, when a certain pastor in the state was very popular at youth events. I also heard him a lot because he was also the pastor at my grandparents' church (although they worked with deaf people so when we visited them, we sometimes went to the deaf church services rather than the main church's services). The church was a huge church, possibly what would be called a megachurch today. He preached a lot on the wheat and the tares (Matthew 13) and are you sure, really sure, really, really sure you're saved? You can imagine how this plays with emotional teenagers who trust feelings above all else. I still dislike that man and also dislike any church events, speakers or musicians who concentrate on how the audience feels. I distrust emotions and almost never feel what they tell me I'm supposed to feel anyway.

[TattleTeeny]

1 hour ago, Petunia13 said:

I think children can have choices is it assumed none ever do? I told my parents I wanted to be a vegetarian v young and they accepted and accommodated that. 

Of course they can--I don't mean that all kids have no choices. But the specific personal situations illustrated here by fellow commenters, and what you called "not cool," seem to fit into the category of "no choice." And not everyone's experiences match one person's.

You're lucky your parents understood vegetarianism when you were a kid. Oy, I'm vegan and my mom still asks if I eat fish and forgets about me at family dinners (I get an iceberg salad in these cases). And I have a grandma who blames my scrawniness on veganism...even though I was this way back when I ate half a pan of her mac & cheese by myself.

Edited August 21, 2016 by TattleTeeny

[backformore]

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I think children can have choices is it assumed none ever do? I told my parents I wanted to be a vegetarian v young and they accepted and accommodated that. 

I don't assume that no children have choices - my kids had plenty of choices.    But I never did. 

It's great that your parents were accepting of your vegetarianism.  But we didn't all grow up that way.   I wasn't even allowed to say I didn't like certain foods, or even to say  I was full - in my house, food was put on your plate, and you ate it - ALL of it.  If you "refused"  to eat, you weren't allowed to leave the table until your plate was clean.  There are some foods that I still won't eat because I was forced to choke them down when I was a kid.  

Think of it like this - if you are never asked what you think, what you like, how you feel - but are TOLD these things, right from the start, you don't develop opinions and beliefs that are different than what the people raising you tell you - because you don't know you can. 

[Petunia13]

im sorry you had to go through that

[Sun-Bun]

Cheers to those of you who grew up in heavily religious households who grew into such forward-thinking individuals!!

Because of my own heavily Catholic upbringing, one of my greatest pet-peeves in general is organized religion and how its forced upon children who often aren't allowed to question it otherwise.

I went to Catholic school all my life and even graduated from a Baptist college, but it was by the time I hit middle school that I realized that the religious beliefs I was forced into didn't align with my personal beliefs at all. Not to mention that most church congregations overall seemed to me to be hotbeds of misogyny, hypocrisy and complete denial.

I was made to feel like a monster in high school because I dared openly support gay rights and was firmly pro-choice. I was often shushed as a child for daring to question why priests were allowed more rights and freedoms while nuns were shrouded and forced into complete servitude. I thought Jesus was sexy, therefore I was a disrespectful slut. Why do we give churches money for unnecessarily gaudy big buildings that went against Jesus's teachings anyway? And why were there alter boys and not alter girls?!((that shit burned me up as a child---of course they allowed alter girls long after I left, go figure!)) Although why couldn't priests get married and what was so bad about sex and birth control anyway? Why couldn't women be priests and popes and cardinals too?? Why couldn't animals go to this mysterious place called Heaven??? How did anyone know for a fact if Heaven and Hell and Purgatory even existed?!! "Having faith" in such things just seems so silly and almost like believing in fairy tales or Greek mythology; what about solid proof?

To this day I'm largely agnostic thanks to years of being dragged to church and forced into teachings I didn't agree with anyway...not to mention some of the most severely flawed folks I encountered who ruined the whole idea of church-going for me. Let's just say the minute I hear someone proudly announce "I'm a Christian" is the minute I give that person the side-eye and slowly back away, because that's usually a smug public excuse for acting like a judgemental asshole otherwise.

[AgentRXS]

Its comforting to read that people had similar experiences to mine growing up. My parents divorced when I was 6; I went to live with our mom and my sister went to live with our dad full-time. Our dad re-married to a very religious woman when I was 11 and my sister was 9. My mom is about as far from religious as you can get. My dad was a pretty easy going and laid back dad prior to remarrying. Once he got remarried, my sister was enrolled in Catholic school, and he became very controlling over the type of music she (and I) would listen to when I visited, what we could watch on TV, and what few websites/chatrooms we frequented (this was the mid-90s). On Sunday mornings, we had no choice but to go to church and we were even forced to wear dresses (which we both hated). Punishments went from spankings to now having to write out Bible verses. Car trips consisted of listening to Christian children stories. Summers were spent in Vacation Bible School. My sister was force to attend a Christian Girl Scout-type group. My sister was jealous of the freedom I got from living with my my mom--she used to look at me like a trapped prisoner when I would leave to go back to my mom's and back to the "normal" world. As for me, I appreciated the teachings of Jesus, but I could never concentrate when someone is blathering on and on in a prayer, and I never felt the elated sense of joy they swore people would feel as they got "saved". I worried about thatt often and spent many a night praying to God to understand why I didn't seem to "fit in" at church.

I went through some pretty difficult times during my late teens/early 20s, and with no one else to turn to, I tried going to the church again (Southern Baptist) and tried to convince myself that if I could really dedicate myself to it, I would become a "good" Christian. So I went and threw myself  into study groups and choirs and such.  That's when the hypocrisy hit me in the face: I saw other patrons starting extramarital affairs with each other,  married deacons hitting on me, and politics/racial issues being thrown in the mix.  I am white and have always dated Latin/Black men---I was told that it that wasn't acceptable to God (even though they preached we are all God's children?) What finally pushed me out the door was when the preacher (this was the early 2000s) stated that President Clinton slid America into the depths of hell with the Monica Lewinsky scandal but God appointed GWB to bring America back to its Christian core values. I was disgusted and walked out and never looked back. I am a registered Independent and am pretty middle-of-the-road on most political issues, but I definitely believe politics and religion should not mix. I walked away that day and never looked back.

I still believe in God/Jesus, I just don't believe in the silly rules humans have created in His name under the guise of "obedience". My sister is an atheist. My dad can't understand where he went wrong---he was sure that I would end up the "heathen" (due to my mother's influence) and my sister would be the "godly Christian woman".  Neither one of is either.  And the best part is that we are both single, never-married and no children 30-somethings (just by circumstance) and he believes that we are choosing this life out of payback for growing up ultraconservative LOL.

Edited August 22, 2016 by AgentRXS

[zxy556575]

Childhood peeve, I guess?

I  had a hard time starting in 7th grade due to normal preteen dramatics but mostly because I felt like my teacher (a nun) was a vindictive sadist who hated me. We didn't change classes and I was stuck with the woman all damned day. I begged my mother to let me transfer to another Catholic school closer to us, but she would not hear of it. I wasn't even asking for public school!

I was so resentful. Catholic elementary schools in the 60s were not in the habit of allowing children to opt out of confession so I should have coughed that up during my forced time in the box: "I hated my mother 100 times this week for no good reason."

Edited August 22, 2016 by lordonia

[backformore]

This all brings up a point of contention I had with the catholic church - changing rules.  

examples - eating meat on Friday, fasting before communion.  the problem is, if you broke a rule, it's a mortal sin -  eating meat on Friday meant you would spend eternity in hell.  Then they changed the rule, and it was only certain Fridays.  But since only GOD can send someone to hell, did GOD change his mind?  and doesn't that go against god being infallible?  Or did the church leaders change their interpretation of god's law?  and if so, why should we trust them?  If the leaders say that breaking a rule will no longer send you to hell, how do they KNOW? did it mean they were wrong in the first place?  to put it another way  -  If you change a rule, so that something is no longer a sin, then do the people who are in hell for that sin get out?  or were they never in hell in the first place, because the church leaders were wrong? 

I get that as the church became more liberal, they relaxed some rules. But they need to admit that these are not GOD'S rules, they are the church's rules.  and the church does not have the power to send anyone to hell. 

 

[shapeshifter]

Sorry to interrupt the flow of the topic, but it's 2:30 a.m. and 58°F, and my neighbor's 22-year-old son is running a noisy air conditioner unit outside my window. 

So I'm awake dwelling on how my just-growing-back hair is falling out again from the second half (slice?) of my so-called "sandwich" chemo treatments (5 rounds chemo—surgery—7 rounds chemo). And heartburn.

Thanks for giving me a place to complain.

Now a bit more on the current topic: I don't attend worship services, but I am grateful for all the Christian, Jewish, Muslim, and Buddhist prayers, and all the agnostic and atheist good thoughts on my behalf since my stage 4 cancer was diagnosed in January. Sorry this part isn't a pet peeve.

[rcc]

When someone constantly uses "you know" while speaking. Especially annoying by supposed intelligent guests on radio talk shows.

I turn them right off.

[Demented Daisy]

55 minutes ago, rcc said:

When someone constantly uses "you know" while speaking. Especially annoying by supposed intelligent guests on radio talk shows.

I turn them right off.

Yes, I tend to hit the "mute" button when a guest on a news network answers every question with the word "look".

"Look, my candidate wants to..."

"Look, the polls may say that..."

"Look, when we decided to..."  Etc.

Ugh.  Hate with the fire of a thousand suns.

[DeLurker]

9 hours ago, backformore said:

This all brings up a point of contention I had with the catholic church - changing rules.  

examples - eating meat on Friday, fasting before communion.  the problem is, if you broke a rule, it's a mortal sin -  eating meat on Friday meant you would spend eternity in hell.  Then they changed the rule, and it was only certain Fridays. 
 

Ahhh...my childhood memories were clearly shared by several....I had to fast before communion even before I could take communion because my Dad thought it wouldn't be fair if I got to have breakfast when my older brothers could not.  And for the year we lived off base in Japan with the terrible junker car and it would die midway to church if the temperature dropped below 50*?  That was cruel and unusual, not to mention stupid parenting we endured every Sunday.

When we got older, my brothers and I would ride our bikes to Saturday evening service just to get it over with.  We were so inspired!  The big problem for me was the Church had an answer for everything, but I got to the age and awareness when I did not always agree or saw grey and the Church made no exceptions.  At that point, I was out.

I think faith has a place in our lives, but I'm pretty flexible on what faith you take too.  For myself, it has become a hodge podge mix of largely centered in Buddhism(esque).  I took my kids to a variety of churches, but never just one.  I felt strongly that they should be old enough to understand the beliefs and practices of a religion before they become a member of a particular church.

2 hours ago, Demented Daisy said:

Ugh.  Hate with the fire of a thousand suns.

From TWoP and in light of the current conversation, that should be a "thousand nuns".

[rcc]

My take on religion is that how you live your life is most important. I've seen too many so-called religious people who praise the Lord on Sundays then proceed to be hateful and dishonest the rest of the week. Believe in God or whomever if you wish but don't preach to me that your religion is the best.

[Whimsy]

This topic has turned into the "Religion" topic- which it was not intended for (nor will we be starting one).  Let's move on please and thank you.

[zxy556575]

So many people these days can't get through a single sentence without a couple of "likes." Like, why can't they, like, string a few words, like, together?

I read an article last year by a women who once worked for Sheryl Sandberg. She related an anecdote about giving a presentation, after which Sheryl pulled her outside for a walk to discuss her constant use of "ums". The woman kind of brushed it off, saying she knew she did it, but Sheryl was all, "You're not understanding. This undermines everything you say as well as your professional reputation." Sheryl sent her to speech class to work the habit out of her.

I agree that it's important in business, but I'd also kind of like to send half the world to that speech class! Including me.

[AgentRXS]

I really,really wish my cat would not be such a jerk and cover his #2 after using the litter box.  His excretions are extremely awful-smelling and it permeates throughout the whole 1-bedroom apartment (and the litter box is located in one of the closets I don't use). He also refuses to pee in the litter box and I have to put pee pads down or else he will pee on the floor. Its embarrassing and I don't invite people over because of it. I have 3 cats and 2 litter boxes and he still does this.  The smell stays on my clothes despite using perfume/fabric refreshers and it is embarrassing. I stay on top of it when I'm home but I HATE coming home from work/or waking up to that noxious smell. He's been like this his whole life, but he's 9 years old now and almost of decade of dealing with this is really wearing very thin.  I've talked to the vet about it and she's given supplements for the smell (that didn't work) and advice but he just won't stop. So much stress and annoyance with this cat.

[DeLurker]

An actual "pet" peeve! 

[Bastet]

Oftentimes, extra stinky poop is because of diet, so maybe a different food would help.  Is he eating something with grains, particularly rich/fatty, or anything like that? 

As for wayward peeing, in the absence of a medical issue (e.g. UTI) it's generally behavioral, and often related to stress, particularly territorial anxiety.  Your vet has hopefully covered everything in her advice, but check out some articles on feline idiopathic cystitis for tips to see if there are any you haven't tried.  In nine years, I'm sure you've tried it all, but just in case.

Bandit has anxiety which is pretty well managed, but he does occasionally mark his territory in the house.  That's frustrating enough, having to soak and soak again with enzymes to eradicate the smell so he doesn't keep marking the same spot, so for a cat who never pees where he's supposed to -- that's rough to live with.

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So many people these days can't get through a single sentence without a couple of "likes." Like, why can't they, like, string a few words, like, together?

I recently overhead two people engaged in a conversation so littered with "likes" (including "...and I'm like..." and its cousins "...and then she's all..." and "...so he goes...") that it sounded like a parody. 

[DeLurker]

My daughter has dubbed my cat's extra stinky poop this summer as Mustard Gas.  It happened when he got some of my Mom's cat's food.  Highly unpleasant, but eliminating access took care of the problem.

[Quof]

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I recently overhead two people engaged in a conversation so littered with "likes" (including "...and I'm like..." and its cousins "...and then she's all..." and "...so he goes...") that it sounded like a parody. 

This makes me stabby.  What ever happened to the verb "to say"?   When was it replaced with the verb "to go", or "to be (like)"? 

[janestclair]

4 hours ago, Bastet said:

I recently overhead two people engaged in a conversation so littered with "likes" (including "...and I'm like..." and its cousins "...and then she's all..." and "...so he goes...") that it sounded like a parody. 

I am guilty of that on occasion - not the "like" thing though.  I blame it on being around teenagers all the time.  So long as I don't pick up their slang, I think I'm alright.  I will never refer to something cool as "lit" no matter how long I live. At least, I think that's what lit means...   

[AgentRXS]

They are eating this natural chicken flavored kibble that is supposed to be preservative-free. I've tired several grain-free foods and none of them will eat it. I was told to switch them to a wet food diet but he is the only one who will eat it---my girls just like to lick the juices. I've heard a raw diet might work but isn't that a bit don't know if I can afford it for 3 cats...

[Jaded]

@backformore your not using Wen are you? If so please be careful. 

[bilgistic]

@Bastet the cat goddess got me to consider raw food when bilgisticat was diagnosed with irritable bowel disease. Once I got him on anti-nausea meds, the raw food was all he'd eat...and only one brand (Primal) and one flavor (pork, freeze-dried nuggets) of that brand! I tried literally every kind of food in my city. I'm not exaggerating.

Primal is about $27 for a 14 oz. bag, which lasts about two or three weeks. It's not cheap, but I'm a believer. He's gained weight (was barely over six pounds at his lowest) and is a pretty stable, naughty and happy 15-year-old boy.  :: knocking all the wood ::

@AgentRXS, lots of cat parents in my IBD kitty support group feed Fancy Feast Classics. It's grain free and very inexpensive. Wet food is absolutely the best diet for cats. A verrrry slow transition is key, unless they stop eating altogether, which is a different issue that you don't seem to have.

[shapeshifter]

20 hours ago, shapeshifter said:

Sorry to interrupt the flow of the topic, but it's 2:30 a.m. and 58°F, and my neighbor's 22-year-old son is running a noisy air conditioner unit outside my window...

I am happy to report that my pet peeve (duplex neighbor's son's unnecessary running of noisy air conditioner) may have been resolved by my sending an FYI text to the Mom that he left his car lights on. I'm guessing he had been running the AC during cool nights because he was mad at me for also FYIing to Mom when he left it on for 4 days straight, but now he sees it as more just being neighborly. 

[zxy556575]

Follow up -- as the Washington Post put it, seniors balked and the SSA has rescinded their text message password requirement. I can only imagine the amount of grief they received!

[Jaded]

4 hours ago, lordonia said:

Follow up -- as the Washington Post put it, seniors balked and the SSA has rescinded their text message password requirement. I can only imagine the amount of grief they received!

I'm not a senior but I balked at it too. Glad that they reversed this idiotic idea.

[candall]

On ‎8‎/‎22‎/‎2016 at 0:34 PM, AgentRXS said:

I really,really wish my cat would not be such a jerk and cover his #2 after using the litter box.  His excretions are extremely awful-smelling and it permeates throughout the whole 1-bedroom apartment (and the litter box is located in one of the closets I don't use). He also refuses to pee in the litter box and I have to put pee pads down or else he will pee on the floor. Its embarrassing and I don't invite people over because of it. I have 3 cats and 2 litter boxes and he still does this.  The smell stays on my clothes despite using perfume/fabric refreshers and it is embarrassing. I stay on top of it when I'm home but I HATE coming home from work/or waking up to that noxious smell. He's been like this his whole life, but he's 9 years old now and almost of decade of dealing with this is really wearing very thin.  I've talked to the vet about it and she's given supplements for the smell (that didn't work) and advice but he just won't stop. So much stress and annoyance with this cat.

C'mere, AgentRXS, let's have a hug.  I understand.  I have a bunch of ancient worn-out puppymill dogs who never had any choice but to pee and poop right where they stood.  For years.  So that's their process and there's no changing it.  I clean like crazy, but I know there's essence of dog attached to everything in Candallworld, including Candall.  Ha, yep, this will seriously curtail your social life.

Nobody gets it.  A friend asked me yesterday why I didn't build some kennels outside for those dogs.  Yeah!  More boxes!

Anyway, thanks for loving that kitty who's a little harder to love.

 

P.S.  I have an old cat who's losing interest in food, so I've been knocking myself out trying to tempt her and I've been reading about feline raw diets.  I think the cost can be low--definitely cheaper than Fancy Feast--in exchange for an extra measure of trouble.  You want to reproduce their natural food, i.e. mouse, so you have to have something that will grind up the raw chicken bones along with the meat.  (You can make a big batch and freeze it.)  If you do this, though, it sounds like nom-nom all the way, with healthy eliminations.

P.P.S.  My dogs that people dumped on the road had never seen the inside of a house until they got here.  Those dogs would explode before they ever peed inside. 

P.P.P.S  Anyone tried that new super odor-killer Tide?

[Bastet]

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You want to reproduce their natural food, i.e. mouse, so you have to have something that will grind up the raw chicken bones along with the meat.  (You can make a big batch and freeze it.)  If you do this, though, it sounds like nom-nom all the way, with healthy eliminations.

Yeah, it's a lot of research up front, because you have to know the right ratio of muscle meat to organ meat to bone and how much of what supplements (e.g. taurine) to add, and then you need freezer space or you'll be forever making small batches, but if you can make the time investment, the cost winds up not being all that bad.  Or, for convenience sake, you can be pre-made (frozen) raw from Nature's Variety, Primal, or the like.  One of the many benefits of a raw diet is good poop.  But, some cats just won't take to it.

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Follow up -- as the Washington Post put it, seniors balked and the SSA has rescinded their text message password requirement. I can only imagine the amount of grief they received!

What millennial glued to his iPhone came up with that idea in the first place?  A program that large and that important should never implement a system that excludes those who do not have cell phones, and certainly not when it's a program for seniors.

Edited August 24, 2016 by Bastet

[ParadoxLost]

8 hours ago, lordonia said:

Follow up -- as the Washington Post put it, seniors balked and the SSA has rescinded their text message password requirement. I can only imagine the amount of grief they received!

The most hilarious part of this article is where the mention that they also had the minor problem that they computer systems are f'ed up enough that the password texts weren't actually getting sent and people were getting locked out of their accounts.

1 hour ago, Bastet said:

What millennial glued to his iPhone came up with that idea in the first place?  A program that large and that important should never implement a system that excludes those who do not have cell phones, and certainly not when it's a program for seniors.

I don't understand how this idea could have even reached implementation phase.  Don't these people have enough parents or grandparents to have a random sample to draw experience from.  Personally, I have one grandparent better at computers than I am and another who negotiated to keep renting the rotary phone from the phone company way longer than that was something they even did.

Edited August 24, 2016 by ParadoxLost

[bilgistic]

1 hour ago, ParadoxLost said:

Personally, I have one grandparent better at computers than I am and another who negotiated to keep renting the rotary phone from the phone company way longer than that was something they even did.

Your assignment now is to figure out how much said grandparent paid in rental fees for that phone, and how many phones (or cars, whichever is cheaper) grandparent could have owned instead.

I have an aunt (only 72 years old) who had a rotary phone waaaay after rotary pulse tones were done away with.

[ratgirlagogo]

3 hours ago, candall said:

The smell stays on my clothes despite using perfume/fabric refreshers

When we first adoped our cat Nadji she was so terrified of our resident cat that she peed and shit in all kinds of inconvenient places - generally the places she was hiding, like under the bed, inside the closet, in the recycling, etc.  Putting litter boxes in every room of the apartment (NOT something we were really thrilled about doing) helped and eventually she did become comfortable enough to pee and shit in a box predictably.  But up until that time our apartment would have been unlivable if we hadn't used enzyme cleaners on the floor, the rugs, the bottom of the closets, etc.  These are not perfumes or Febreze type sprays - they actually break down the urine chemically.  This is the one we liked the best:

http://www.healthypets.com/cevaurineawayspray.html?mr:trackingCode=7E729EFC-909B-E011-8D66-001517B188A2&mr:referralID=NA&mr:device=c&mr:adType=pla_with_pro

It won't help with damage to the varnish on wood or anything like that, but it really does eliminate the smell.

Edited August 24, 2016 by ratgirlagogo

[AgentRXS]

@candall Thank you for rescuing puppy-mill pups! They deserve love! So glad someone else can relate to what I go through.

@ratgirlagogo Thanks for the suggestion. I purchased a few of those odor eliminators...hoping it will help.

Ok, so my peeve of the day is weather-related. Any one who lives in FL knows that June-Nov is hurricane season, with late August-early Sept being the busiest time for possible formation. Yet, year after year, the meteorologists act like its some kind of phenomenal weather event if more than one disturbance forms in the Atlantic at any given time. And what's even worse, before the damn thing can even form into a cohesive Tropical Wave, they are already doing their weather projections, with multiple models showing the point of impact at some point along the FL coastline, sending people into a tizzy.  Half the time the thing dissipates without ever touching land. or ends up as really bad rainstorm. I get so tired of the fear-mongering. I miss the old days when they didn't really start their MAYDAY spiel until the storm was an actual threat.

[Petunia13]

I have a living relative with rotary phones still and until a few years ago a party line (which is when a household shares a phone line and account with another unrelated customer) and it probably was kept as long as possible legally out of spite. 

[NutMeg]

On 23 August 2016 at 1:34 AM, AgentRXS said:

I really,really wish my cat would not be such a jerk and cover his #2 after using the litter box.  His excretions are extremely awful-smelling and it permeates throughout the whole 1-bedroom apartment (and the litter box is located in one of the closets I don't use). He also refuses to pee in the litter box and I have to put pee pads down or else he will pee on the floor. Its embarrassing and I don't invite people over because of it. I have 3 cats and 2 litter boxes and he still does this.  The smell stays on my clothes despite using perfume/fabric refreshers and it is embarrassing. I stay on top of it when I'm home but I HATE coming home from work/or waking up to that noxious smell. He's been like this his whole life, but he's 9 years old now and almost of decade of dealing with this is really wearing very thin.  I've talked to the vet about it and she's given supplements for the smell (that didn't work) and advice but he just won't stop. So much stress and annoyance with this cat.

You know, you should not have to stop inviting people over because of your cat - temporarily, yes, for 9 years or however long you've had it, no. If all other options have failed, I would go for limiting your cat to one area of your apartment, area getting smaller and smaller so the litter box area becomes more and more prominent, until he gets it.

If it still doesn't work, and unless you're considering moving to a place with a yard, I'd say you have to start talking with friends with outdoor space where he might feel better. 

Sorry if I seem harsh, I love my cat dearly despite her waking me up about three times each night, and I cried for days and days after I had to put down my 16 year old darling who went with me through singledom, coupledom and babydom, but I still think that you have to have the social life you need/want, and if your cat is preventing that, do your best to get him to adjust but please, go on living for you, not for him. 

[TattleTeeny]

On 8/22/2016 at 1:34 PM, AgentRXS said:

You know, you should not have to stop inviting people over because of your cat - temporarily, yes, for 9 years or however long you've had it, no. If all other options have failed, I would go for limiting your cat to one area of your apartment, area getting smaller and smaller so the litter box area becomes more and more prominent, until he gets it.

If it still doesn't work, and unless you're considering moving to a place with a yard, I'd say you have to start talking with friends with outdoor space where he might feel better. 

I am sure you're a good pet owner (and I am sorry to hear about your 16-year-old; I've definitely been there), but I respectfully and wholeheartedly disagree (I'm sorry). Please don't do either of these things, AgentRXS. To put it mildly, these ideas are just not conducive to unstressing a cat, much less fixing a possible health issue; the first suggestion is, IMO, bordering on cruel. Further, outdoor cats live significantly shorter lives on average than indoor ones. 

Have you tried getting the opinion of another vet? I would. Or even looking for solutions on websites like LittleBigCat (affiliated with a Jackson Galaxy-approved holistic vet, I believe)? There are even online vets that will answer as many questions as you have for a set price. 

There could be any number of reasons that your cat is behaving this way, from mental to physical (I mean, he can't help what his poop smells like; maybe he's got a sensitive stomach that needs to be addressed), and not one of them will be helped by cramming him into a tiny space or leaving him outside.

Edited August 24, 2016 by TattleTeeny

[NutMeg]

2 hours ago, TattleTeeny said:

I am sure you're a good pet owner (and I am sorry to hear about your 16-year-old; I've definitely been there), but I respectfully and wholeheartedly disagree (I'm sorry). Please don't do either of these things, AgentRXS. To put it mildly, these ideas are just not conducive to unstressing a cat, much less fixing a possible health issue; the first suggestion is, IMO, bordering on cruel. Further, outdoor cats live significantly shorter lives on average than indoor ones. 

Have you tried getting the opinion of another vet? I would. Or even looking for solutions on websites like LittleBigCat (affiliated with a Jackson Galaxy-approved holistic vet, I believe)? There are even online vets that will answer as many questions as you have for a set price. 

There could be any number of reasons that your cat is behaving this way, from mental to physical (I mean, he can't help what his poop smells like; maybe he's got a sensitive stomach that needs to be addressed), and not one of them will be helped by cramming him into a tiny space or leaving him outside.

tattleteeny, I hear you, but when the original poster says 

 

Quote

 

He's been like this his whole life, but he's 9 years old now 

 

I think at some stage you have to choose between staying sane and keeping on having friends over, some of whom will last you a lifetime, or keeping on writing off your social life so that the unsocial cat cat continue having a bad time. Because obviously something is not right with that cat. And while I'm all for trying to help awkward cats (maybe someday I'll post a pic of that feral cat I nurtured to adulthood - gorgeous beast, even if he jumps a mile whenever I try to pet him, although he has no problem sleeping on my bed or staying near me in the kitchen/living room/wherever I am), I still think human interactions are deeper - try to explain to your cat how fantastic a play/concert/book was, and see the response :)

I know, I know, whereas I'm a cat person and always have been, I may be roasted on charcoals here, but if so, so be it. 

[topanga]

7 hours ago, Petunia13 said:

I have a living relative with rotary phones still and until a few years ago a party line (which is when a household shares a phone line and account with another unrelated customer) and it probably was kept as long as possible legally out of spite. 

Thank you! For years I've (seriously) had no idea what Bobby Brown meant when he sang, "She ain't got no party line. The situation's blowing my mind" on the early New Edition hit "Mr. Telephone Man."

[candall]

On ‎8‎/‎22‎/‎2016 at 0:34 PM, AgentRXS said:

I really,really wish my cat would not be such a jerk and cover his #2 after using the litter box. 

[ETA:  sorry, folks, just one more stab at this litter box situation and I'll stop.  Feel free to skip.]

 

I've been thinking about this cat.    He uses potty pads (which is pretty amazing for a cat) so he's trying to go where he knows you want him to go, or else he'd just pee on the floor.  He'll visit the box for the minimum amount of time it takes to poop, but doesn't want to scratch around in that stuff for the coverup part of the operation.  I think he has a problem with the litter.

Is there any possibility the smell is so rank just because it's exposed?  Is his poop goopy or "wrong" or different from the other cats'?  Maybe the problem's not in the food bowl, but in the box--too much perfume or the texture isn't appealing or he's allergic to clay or he doesn't like sharing a toilet.

What about setting a brand new litterbox on the edge of his potty pad, filled with something completely different and neutral, like plain dirt (from the gardening department) or shredded newspaper (which my vet recommends for catching a urine sample.)  Leave the other boxes just as they are, for the other cats, and see what happens.  The experiment couldn't hurt and you might get a whole new set of clues.

If you want to, PM me.  We'll rope in Bastet, put our heads together and figure something out, freeing the forum from cat poop chatter.  : )

[TattleTeeny]

6 hours ago, NutMeg said:

tattleteeny, I hear you, but when the original poster says 

 

I think at some stage you have to choose between staying sane and keeping on having friends over, some of whom will last you a lifetime, or keeping on writing off your social life so that the unsocial cat cat continue having a bad time. Because obviously something is not right with that cat. And while I'm all for trying to help awkward cats (maybe someday I'll post a pic of that feral cat I nurtured to adulthood - gorgeous beast, even if he jumps a mile whenever I try to pet him, although he has no problem sleeping on my bed or staying near me in the kitchen/living room/wherever I am), I still think human interactions are deeper - try to explain to your cat how fantastic a play/concert/book was, and see the response :)

I know, I know, whereas I'm a cat person and always have been, I may be roasted on charcoals here, but if so, so be it. 

Wait, what? I never said to abandon all hope of human interactions, and I never  assigned a "level of deepness" to anything. I never even said that not having people over is the only viable outcome. I just said that those two suggestions, as conveyed, are not humane solutions. Yes, there is something wrong with the poor cat; I merely asked whether all ideas (aside from relegating him to a corner or ushering him outside) had been explored. Of course AgentRXS should be able to have her cat and her guests...and a home free of errant pee!

I am by no means a fan of pee smells or anything, but I am happy to say that my friends would understand if that's what I were dealing with at home.

No charcoals! And good work with the feral! I had one once too (from a hoard house!) and, yikes, she took years to become comfortable, poor thing. Once she did though, she was a dream, if a bit...quirky.

(I am not sure why the site is crediting your comment under the O.P.'s name in my original post. That's odd.)

Edited August 24, 2016 by TattleTeeny

[ABay]

Not having to have people over is one of my favorite things about having cats. So many people are allergic these days, it seems. I wish I felt sad about it.

[TattleTeeny]

Ahahahhahhaaaa, that made me laugh out loud! I like having people over and wish I did it more often but I do also like a good just-me-and-the-cats night.

[MargeGunderson]

AgentRXS, have you tried Dr Elseys' Cat Attract litter and/or Dr  Elseys' Precious Cat Ultra Litter Attractant? I used both with one of my cats who decided to poop on the floor a few feet in front of the box. She would pee in the box but not poop. It took about 2 weeks for her to come around to using the box to poop.

I'm sympathetic to your situation! My other cat will be 20 years old tomorrow and has been having little accidents  (and some not so little) for the last 5. Every soft surface in the house is covered in towels and we do a lot of laundry. I've had to change the bedding in the middle of the night more than once. But, she's my sweet girl so I hope to have to do this for several more years.

Edited August 24, 2016 by MargeGunderson
I can spellz

[AgentRXS]

Thanks everyone for your imput! I appreciate everyone's advice and learning that othesr have "special" pets too!

I have tried every different type of litter under the sun. The Cat Attract,  a special lavender one (that was really expensive for a small amount) that was supposed to help attract cats to the litter box. Crystals, pine, clay, newspaper,everything. To be fair, I have a  patio with a huge front lawn and  even though its not enclosed, he still goes outside and just sits and suns sometimes. He doesn't even cover his poop if he goes outside. He's been this way since he was a kitten. He was the only cat in the home the first 3 years of his life and he still never covered up/peed everywhere.  At times, I still come home and find poop on the floor even when the litter boxes are clean.

He is a large (and tall) cat and his poops are pretty large too which makes it worse. They are usually pretty soft and wet, but again, the have always been like that and  he's always has healthy vet exams.  I ordered some grain-free wet food from Amazon (which wasn't cheap) and am going to try to feed him that and see if it will help.

When he was a single cat, the vet said he may be acting out because he was lonely when I was gone during the day. He loved the neighbor's cat at my old apartment, so I got him a friend to play with.  It still didn't curb his behavior. When I started working at the animal shelter, I adopted another one I fell in love with and that made 3. Cats 2 and 3 became a bonded pair and he's now odd man out.  I've fostered kittens from the shelter that he enjoyed playing with (after their quarantine period was over) but I've had to stop fostering because he and Cat #3 would get super depressed after a set a kittens would leave. Cat #3 got very ill after my last foster set left because she was very attached to one of the kittens. She didn't eat on her own for a couple days and I had to force feed her and give her fluids to keep her hydrated.

I try to be loving with him, but he really doesn't enjoy human interaction as much as he enjoys interaction with other cats. He's always preferred men (my dad, brother, ex-boyfriends) over women but I don't know of any man who wants a cat with his issues. He's a very passive cat and will not physically fight another cat (he walks away) so he could not survive full-time outdoors. 

I have friends that I socialize with, I just never invite them over because I'm embarrassed and don't want to subject them to that. Most of my friends are animal lovers and understand.

[candall]

11 hours ago, MargeGunderson said:

My other cat will be 20 years old tomorrow

Happy Birthday, Kitty Gunderson!!!   You are one beloved senior puss.

 

[Here's a general two thumbs up for Petmate water fountains.  The aerated water runs silently down a little slide. (I had a different kind and went nuts, thinking the faucet was trickling.)  My cats started drinking more than twice as much water from the fountain as from a regular bowl--no exaggeration.  Seniors always seem to develop kidney issues, so yay for more water.]

Edited August 25, 2016 by candall
"I can spellz" FUNNY!

[Demented Daisy]

On July 26, 2016 at 1:28 AM, bilgistic said:

I just had a tattoo reworked/covered after one laser treatment (and I love the new tattoo!). Laser treatment hurts like a bitch--way worse than a tattoo. And the itching when it's healing--oh god, the itching! If I could've clawed off my arm, I would've. I'm getting another removed and possibly redone. Four more sessions. Not regret, really, but wanting improvement--repainting a canvas, if you will.

Sorry, old convo, but my husband and I went in for laser treatments this week.  We both want to do a cover up and our artist suggested we do one treatment.  I agree, the laser hurts worse than the original tattoo (like getting hit by tiny drops of hot bacon grease over and over again), but at least it was fast!  

I haven't experienced any itching, though.  It was done 3 days ago -- do I have the itching to look forward to?

[bilgistic]

Well, it depends. Turns out I'm having an "allergic reaction" to the ink, per the laser specialist. Weird that it doesn't happen after I get a tattoo. And how would I know until I have one?

Anyway, I had my second laser treatment two Fridays ago, and the itching set in fiercely. It usually does take a couple days after the site heals initially. My tattoo is raised for several weeks while it itches. I found that jojoba oil works the best for me to curb the itch, usually layered under a lotion.

[TattleTeeny]

Oh, tattoo-related itch...boo!

I still get days when old tattoos are raised and bumpy. But I also have stupidly sensitive skin that reacts to everything; it's a wonder I can even get tattoos in the first place.