Pet Peeves: Aka Things That Make You Go "Gah!"

[BookWoman56]

14 hours ago, ParadoxLost said:

But it leads me to another pet peeve.  A company/person provides a service to a customer.  Does it wrong repeatedly.  In my case, landscaper taking one year and counting to do four days of work.  And then acts like commitment to keep fixing the stuff they mess up on is all that needs to happen.  Like its generous of them to keep coming out without charging more to do the stuff they were paid to do the first time and fix the stuff they broke.  Its one step up from not fixing it at all, I guess.  But its like the time I waste dealing with them has no meaning.

It can be even more frustrating when the company/organization messes up and charges you for their screw-up. Years ago my niece had gone through a few months of intermittent pain and other symptoms, with trips to a regular doctor and the ER a couple of times resulting in no real diagnosis. She missed enough work that she got fired, so then had no insurance. She went to the ER again for extreme pain, and they ran a few tests and discovered problems with her gall bladder that required surgery. She was not happy, because the estimated cost for the surgery was around $5K, but she figured she could establish a payment plan with the hospital. However, during the procedure, the surgeon missed her gall bladder and instead sliced into her bile duct, which is a very bad thing. There was no question it was their fault; the surgeon who got called in to fix the mistake came out and told me that the first surgeon had made the error, what had been done to correct it, and that as a result, my niece would be in ICU for a few days while they monitored her recovery. I was relieved that at least they admitted their fault up front. However, that admission made not a bit of difference in terms of the hospital bill. The hospital proceeded to bill her for roughly $95K, including the charge for the original surgery, then the additional surgery required to fix their mistake, plus the time in the ICU, etc.  When she asked, WTF is up with that, she was told that yeah, it might have been their mistake but the medical expenses were still incurred, so it was her responsibility to pay for them. We consulted with several attorneys, but in this state, because of tort reform, there is a cap of around $100K for that sort of thing, and so there would have been nothing left out of the settlement to cover attorneys' fees and with apparently a slim chance that the hospital would absorb the surgical and ICU costs itself (Or at least, that is what we were told); consequently, no attorney was willing to take the case despite the fact that the hospital had already admitted their fault. So, as a result of the surgeon's mistake, my niece was left with an outrageously high medical bill plus close to 6 months of being unable to work while she recovered from the surgery.  To this day, I still cannot comprehend the logic behind that. 

ETA: This was in TX, around 10-12 years ago. The  hospital was a state-funded one associated with the public university med school, and it's been so long I no longer remember if the cap on damages was specifically for state-funded facilities or any hospital in general. IIRC, there was a lot of discussion around the issue that the surgeon was an employee of the hospital, not a doctor in private practice, and so forth. Either way, though, the end result was my niece getting screwed over by the system.

Edited June 18, 2016 by BookWoman56

[Wings]

Oh good god, what state is this.  That is horrific!!

[Sandman87]

Seasonal related peeves:

* Every year when fire season approaches (during which roughly 200% of the county catches fire), the local news people tell us that it's going to be a "particularly bad" fire season. If we had less rain than normal, it's going to be bad because of dead trees and bushes. If we had more rain than normal, it's going to be bad because of all the extra grass that's going to dry out. If we had average rain, it's going to be bad because of both. Not once in 15 years have they told us that it's going to be a normal fire season. I'd probably faint if they said it was going to be less severe than usual.

*My swamp cooler and freezer work together to piss me off. Every year when it gets warm enough to use the cooler, the light switch in the freezer ices up from the extra humidity and stops working despite the fact that it's a modern "frostless" freezer.

 

On Thursday, June 16, 2016 at 7:29 PM, krimimimi said:

So. Peeve. Dentist's. Root canal. In what I am assured was a freak and seriously improbable occurrence, the tip of the drill thingie wedged itself in my tooth and broke off. ...

Damn thing is throbbing now. 

Which is also probably an indication that the actual root canal work isn't entirely done either, I fear. Not sure how much more I can take. "Is it safe?" Yes! No! Maybe?

Maybe this will make you feel better. (*evil laughter*)

[bilgistic]

52 minutes ago, Sandman87 said:

Maybe this will make you feel better. (*evil laughter*)

That was horrifying. I'm terrified of Willy Wonka (the original movie). I have no idea why. It went downhill from the very beginning.

[krimimimi]

1 hour ago, Sandman87 said:

Maybe this will make you feel better. (*evil laughter*)

O.o     Words fail. (don't click, people.) 

But that's kind of the thing, really. There's absolutely zero way that the most economical thing for him to do at this point isn't just pulling the tooth...

Somewhere during the third visit, I started wondering if I would have even needed that appointment if the thing with the tool hadn't happened. When it became clear we'd need a fourth attempt (and he made a bit of a push to try to get it sorted this time that led to a lot of squirming on my part, at which point he acquiesced), I was pretty damn sure much of this was because he was having to do work by hand he would normally use a motorized tool for, but couldn't because things were "blocked" by... tool parts, I guess.* And yeah, I wasn't thrilled.

(* As it turns out, also because the issues that caused the first bit to break were still issues, and meant it was likely to happen again. I need a collection of tool pieces in my teeth like another hole in the head.)

But.

First off, he didn't lie to me. He told me straight up what happened, when it did, and when asked, in detail how that was changing what he could and couldn't do, and why he was proceeding as he did. I really like honesty. And I'm far less inclined to want to "punish" somebody who I think is honest.

I know roughly how insurance here works, and I know there is a cap on what he will earn on this tooth. If he can make a good case for it, he might be able to double charge for the root canal and an extraction, but the cost of a root canal alone is capped. And he can't charge *me* extra for it; it goes straight to the insurance provider. So while this is definitely taking up my time, plus travel, and roughly $6-7 in subway fares a pop, if we do the maths, he "costs" X per hour, the use of the "real estate" in his office isn't cheap either, and he needs at least one assistant for most of the time. This *is* costing him.

Not as much as a law suit, sure. But he could have lied about the bit, and I wouldn't have noticed. He could tell me he needs to pull it, and I wouldn't know that wasn't medically necessary. He's putting time and a lot of effort and money from his pocket into treating it in what he considers the "right" way, and that is an invaluable trait in a medical professional. That, folks, makes him at least a bit of an idealist. There is no way I'm going to behave in any fashion that knocks that out of him. 

Further, life sometimes just sucks. You look around these days, and it's like we expect things to be so sanitized, that nothing bad can happen. My understanding is that the typical American playground no longer has swings, and that your pools basically don't have diving boards any more. Ours has a 10 m tower, which is like diving off the roof of three story townhouse! Scary as sin and simply awesome! What a pity that fear of law suits prohibits so many peple from being able to experience that. (Ok, I'm sure most of you haven't missed that specifically, but the point remains.) As far as I'm concerned, there's only one solution for it: people take responsibility for the things they screw up (as they didn't in the case of the hospital trying to kill, or at least financially ruin, @BookWoman56's poor niece), and folks accept that life sometimes gives you lemons, and stop trying to make that into a lottery win with insane suits.

"Only life can kill you..." when it stops being able to kill you any more, you're no longer living.

 

(Of course all of that doesn't mean I'm not feeling extremely sorry for myself, or that I don't look a lot like the Joker, or that my cheek isn't puffy like a hamster's, or that it isn't throbbing like mad. But none of that changes the principles in question. It just makes me think I "deserve" ice cream. :-))

[krimimimi]

On June 17, 2016 at 5:09 AM, bilgistic said:

OMG OMG OMG!!! Tell them to use non-latex gloves, and also, holy shit, my insides are shriveling for you. I will forever think of this when I go to the dentist. I think they owe you a vacation home.

Wanted to add that all of the above wasn't to say I thought you or any of the others were advocating suing his pants off. At 6 am, still unable to sleep with my throbbing cheek, knowing I needed to get up at 8 at the latest and be mentally acute during the day, feeling the probability of that latter seriously dwindling and beginning to panic, reading that read exactly as "Oh, you poor thing! Have a bowl of ice cream and see if that helps any..." And precisely hit the spot. (The post, not the fictitious ice cream.) Fell asleep for an hour shortly thereafter. :-)

Also seem not to have screwed anything up too badly yesterday despite the sleep deprivation, so: yay!

[ParadoxLost]

I do not like this new(er) tactic that door to door sales people are using where they come up and start asking you questions and your name without telling you what they are trying to sell.  It unnerves me and when you try to politely decline, they get pushy like a telemarketer on your doorstep.

I've actually had one of these guys start off with saying he wasn't a serial killer so I can't be the only one with this reaction.  It makes me wonder what type of people respond to this tactic that they seem to be training people to do it considering how often it happens these days.

[Blergh]

Ok, here's one: fist bumps.

  I grew up in the 20th century and never did them then and have no interest in doing them now. So why do some folks actually get upset if they attempt to give you one and you don't respond in kind?

 

 Oh well, at least they're quieter than high-fives.

[Quof]

Quote

new(er) tactic that door to door sales people are using

Why are you opening the door?  Just because someone is knocking on my door (or calling my phone) doesn't mean I have to answer.   Sometimes I stand in the window and look out at them, I don't care if they see me.  

[StatisticalOutlier]

On 6/17/2016 at 0:06 PM, lordonia said:

 I knew it was a no-parking zone and took my chances. I can't imagine what that guy's work life must have been like to elicit that reaction.

 

On 6/17/2016 at 0:15 PM, Bastet said:

I was recently going around the dial in the middle of the night, unable to get back to sleep, and came across some show about the people who ticket, clamp, tow, etc.  (Google tells me it's called Parking Wars.) Oh my.  I didn't watch very much before the next half hour came around and something better was on, but based on that, I'm not surprised by what you saw.

Yep, it's Parking Wars on A&E.  I don't really like the scenes where they're at the impound lot trying to get through the red tape to get their cars out because that's just terrible for everybody involved, but the encounters on the street with the meter maid or the guy fixing to tow off somebody's car are nothing short of jaw-dropping.  People get sooooo pissed off when they're parked in a no-parking zone and they get a ticket.  A frequent excuse?  I do it all the time and don't get a ticket.

[zxy556575]

26 minutes ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

People get sooooo pissed off when they're parked in a no-parking zone and they get a ticket.

Here's the "what is WRONG with you?" peeve to go along with that: people who think their own mistakes and choices are someone else's fault.

That particular ticket of mine was at a downtown college campus and there was no other parking available. By that time I was pretty beat down by metered street parking anyway, after dashing out of class to feed quarters for three years. But the tickets were under $20 and at least they provided a pre-addressed envelope to mail in the fee. Silver-ish lining!

[Jaded]

1 hour ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

 

Yep, it's Parking Wars on A&E.  I don't really like the scenes where they're at the impound lot trying to get through the red tape to get their cars out because that's just terrible for everybody involved, but the encounters on the street with the meter maid or the guy fixing to tow off somebody's car are nothing short of jaw-dropping.  People get sooooo pissed off when they're parked in a no-parking zone and they get a ticket.  A frequent excuse?  I do it all the time and don't get a ticket.

When they quit showing the impound lot scenes the ratings went down and the show was cancelled. I can't remember what city those scenes were filmed in but I do remember that they or the impound didn't want to be featured by the show anymore. Then they started showing different tow truck companies instead and I don't think many people including myself liked that.  

Edited June 19, 2016 by Jaded

[StatisticalOutlier]

1 hour ago, Jaded said:

When they quit showing the impound lot scenes the ratings went down and the show was cancelled.

Hence my name:  Statistical Outlier.  I have a limit on the amount of human misery I'm willing to watch.  I know that people whose cars get impounded are almost always responsible for it, but I still don't like watching how much they're going to have to pay, and the horrible red tape wormholes they get sucked into.  But it doesn't surprise me that the impound lot scenes were the most popular.  People like shows like Cops and I just can't stand them.  But I don't slow down to look at wrecks, either.

 

Quote

I can't remember what city those scenes were filmed in but I do remember that they or the impound didn't want to be featured by the show anymore. Then they started showing different tow truck companies instead and I don't think many people including myself liked that.  

I don't really like the tow truck ones, either.  It's hard to root for either side in a battle between mercenary tow truck drivers and parking scofflaws.  .

What I like is the parking enforcement guy walking the beat.  It's more along the lines of a ticky-tack foul, not something that's going to cost you hundreds of dollars, half a day of your time, and a possible aneurysm.  It's part of the social compact:  you park in a no-parking zone, and you run the risk of being unlucky and having a meter maid come by. 

That's why I hate red light cameras--I think it's cheating because there's no element of luck involved in whether you get a ticket for not stopping completely before your right turn on red in the middle of the night.  Never mind the fact that the real winners are the companies that provide the red light camera service--I prefer my tickets to be more of a voluntary tax that benefits the city if my luck isn't good that day.  I don't condone law breaking, necessarily, but at least have it be a fair fight.

Philadelphia was where the impound lot they filmed is.  I got interested because I was visiting there for a week and looking into parking.  The Philadelphia Parking Authority is widely reviled; people said there's a reason they shot Parking Wars there.  I'm a lawyer, and there was one set of parking restrictions signs right by each other that even I couldn't reconcile.  But I don't need to be a lawyer to know that "no standing" means parking is okay, unlike some citizens. (I love the fact that the parking authority personnel always refer to people as "citizens.")

Other cities I remember episodes in are Detroit, Staten Island, and Providence.  Gotta love Providence--the campus police cars for the Rhode Island School of Design are snazzy looking and have "Defenders of the Arts" on them.  Bwah!

[Moose135]

27 minutes ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

Gotta love Providence--the campus police cars for the Rhode Island School of Design are snazzy looking and have "Defenders of the Arts" on them.  Bwah!

I had to check that out - they are really neat!

https://www.flickr.com/photos/emergency_vehicles/14999548248/in/photostream/

[StatisticalOutlier]

1 minute ago, Moose135 said:

I had to check that out - they are really neat!

https://www.flickr.com/photos/emergency_vehicles/14999548248/in/photostream/

Maybe if all the "Cops"-type shows hauled the miscreants away in those, I wouldn't find them so dispiriting. 

[DeLurker]

I always wanted them to do a Cops episode on Martha's Vineyard. Some friends in college rented a house and got jobs there for the summer. Towards the end, a party at their place got a little out of hand. As the renters', they got hailed to the pokey. The holding cell had no door/gate on it and they used the honor system for those in holding to stay put when they were left unattended when other calls came in.

[krimimimi]

It does not end...

So. Mr. Mimi gets a call, it's a buddy who enjoys basketball, who has done the math and realizes that tonight is the last game of the whatever they call it NBA finals. The hubs has some kind of pass that means he gets it. I'm not sure local cable is even carrying it otherwise, especially given soccer!soccer!soccer! everywhere you turn, and I think he's got a season pass for ESPN or something. And even if they did air it locally, I gather their announcers sort of suck (they basically understand about as much of the game as I do: oh look! a ball! let's just say, you don't want me explaining the game to you.). And I get that if you like this kind of thing (which I personally very much don't, but I understand some people do), it can be nice to watch with a friend. Yeah...

So buddy invites himself over. (Who didn't see that coming?) Hmm. Fine.

We have a bit of vacation right now that we're using to tackle a few DIY projects (including the never.ending.curtain.saga... *sigh*), and having somebody here vs. watching on his own means cleaning instead of getting stuff done. Hell, I've got masking tape on my walls... But it's only one person, and I won't have to cook too much more, and I can probably find enough extra ingredients in the fridge, and I believe we have a bag of chips left in the pantry. Right. Ok, we got this.

A few hours later, buddy texts, and says he'll bring his whole family. That's ok, right? *blink*    *blink*

Not a six pack. Not some snacks. His whole family. *blink*

How astute! Exactly what we didn't have on hand. O.o Thanks ever so for thinking of it. How kind? *blink some more*

There's no way that bag of chips is enough now, and cooking is suddenly a big issue, because we didn't go shopping or plan for this. (They seem to have invited themselves for dinner, too.) The mind, it boggles.

Guys, seriously, is this normal? Am I just getting too inflexible? Too old and grumpy? This is just bonkers behavior, right? And for the love of mike, where does hubs keep finding these people?

I know he isn't setting this up on purpose, because he is even less thrilled about watching with misc. kids than I am about the cleaning. And he'll definitely help with the prep, too, so it's totally unwelcome work for him as well. But it's work we wouldn't have otherwise had, and one less project we'll presumably finish. I'm trying hard to remember that socializing is theoretically good (like it makes any difference for me, I'll be hiding out upstairs), and productivity is often overrated, but it's proving a bit of a struggle, atm.

(And sadly, no such thing as Domino's here. But the local Italian restaurant is happy to charge you an arm and a leg for individual pizzas. Like that's what I wanted to buy this week...)

[ABay]

Completely unacceptable. Who is this asshole? The very least your husband should do is text back and say "great. Here's what you need to bring with you and you need to help me finish this DIY project before we watch the game." And leave the tape up, and do not clean. You didn't ask them over, they will take what they get. And your husband should explain to the asshole that is unacceptable since he didn't tell him it was not OK to invite his whole family. And why didn't your husband just say no in the first place? Like, "no, it isn't a good time. Sorry."?

Edited June 19, 2016 by ABay

[DeLurker]

A simple reply is "we were not planning on entertaining this weekEnd.  Let's plan an outing or get together for the week of (whatever works for YOU)."

you don't need to explain why - and this should come from hubby's phone.

[MargeGunderson]

Not okay! Can you point them in the direction of the nearest sports bar (or any bar with a TV)? 

[StatisticalOutlier]

Quote

A simple reply is "we were not planning on entertaining this weekEnd.  Let's plan an outing or get together for the week of (whatever works for YOU)."

But the whole thing started because of a game this on TV tonight only, and only at krimimimi's house.  It was going to be kind of okay with just the one guy, but bringing his family changed everything.  Never mind the extra hassle it causes, it changes the whole dynamic from a couple of possibly fairly low-maintenance guys watching a game to entertaining a whole family.

I have to wonder why the friend suggested bringing the family in the first place.  I'm assuming there's a wife in the mix and she didn't want him to spend father's day away from his family??  Never mind that a father maybe should be able to do what he wants on father's day, even if it's watching a game without his kids around.  But I kind of hate made-up holidays anyway.  Hell, even real holidays, for that matter. 

Solution?  Maybe honesty, since there doesn't seem to be a better option.  Mr. Mimi tells him he was planning on it being just the two of them in a house that's midway in a bunch of DIY projects, and krimimimi wasn't even planning to participate because she has something else to do, so bringing the whole family doesn't really work.

Edited June 19, 2016 by StatisticalOutlier
add quote for context because MargeGunderson sneaked in under the wire

[BookWoman56]

I don't think you are being unreasonable at all to feel annoyed/frustrated by having not just one person come over but for this guy to invite his whole family to come along not just to watch the game but for dinner as well. That whole "It's ok if I bring the whole family, right" text is nonsense. Your husband is going to feel like a jerk if he says no, but in this case I'd say he should have opted to feel like a jerk. You already had plans. You cannot easily accommodate having someone else's entire family for dinner. The self-invited guy and family did not even offer to bring snacks, much less something to help out with dinner. My solution would be to suck it up for today, because the damage has already been done; you can't un-invite the guy and his family without causing bad feelings all around. However, as a preventative measure, after the unwelcome guests have gone, you need to sit your husband down and flatly say, if this occurs again, it will be his entire responsibility to clean, cook, etc., because you will be out doing things that you want to do or need to do, instead of dealing with the consequences of his unwillingness to set boundaries.

When my daughter was still in middle and then high school, I always made a point of having enough food on hand to handle if a few of her friends ended up coming over after school, before or after a movie/concert, etc. Part of this was because she had been a guest in their homes at times and was always shocked at how little food was on hand at some of their homes, essentially nothing in the fridge or pantry that could be cooked. From what a few of her friends said, they lived mostly on fast food, which I found pretty reprehensible, but it wasn't my job to critique their family's eating habits. And so part of my motivation was demonstrating to these kids that yes, it was possible to cook meals. Admittedly, none of this was complicated; I almost always have fresh salad on hand, fresh fruit, a few jars of marinara, veggies, spaghetti or farfalle, plus ground beef and chicken in the freezer, so that we could do either a spaghetti dinner or chicken picatta plus sides. As my daughter got older, she cooked those items herself, along with some Thai dishes, on occasions when her friends came over. So typically, if I had to do a last minute run to the store, it would be only for garlic bread or something similar, plus maybe a dessert. Even so, she never failed to text me to ask if it was okay before she invited someone, and usually had discussed with me a couple of days in advance. All of this to say that I don't want to be so inflexible that a very occasional spontaneous visit from friends will throw me into a tizzy, but neither do I feel that my home should be a 24/7 diner.

I'd have to call it as 75% the fault of your husband's friend, for inviting himself plus family, and 25% the fault of your husband, for not telling the friend that this was not a good time and if he wanted to come, he would need to assist with the DIY project, and furthermore, that if his entire family was going to come, they needed to make their own damn dinner and eat it before they came over. 

[auntlada]

If you can't get out of it or say no, the thing to say is, "OK. Bring pizza." And specify how many so there is enough for everyone.

[Petunia13]

Grammar nazis and knuckle rappers, get ready. The period might be history.

http://mobile.nytimes.com/2016/06/10/world/europe/period-full-stop-point-whatever-its-called-millennials-arent-using-it.html?WT.mc_id=2016-JUNE-FB-MC8-AUD_DEV-0610&WT.mc_ev=click&ad-keywords=AUDDEVGate&_r=0&referer=

Edited June 20, 2016 by Petunia13

[krimimimi]

Quote

Grammar nazis and knuckle rappers, get ready. The period might be history.

not until menopause 

Edited June 20, 2016 by krimimimi

[ratgirlagogo]

Well, that's David Crystal.  And he's talking (as he often is these days) about texting and tweeting more than regular writing.  For the context he's talking about he's likely right, but I think the rest of us will keep on using periods and the rest of the regular punctuation aids just because we all find them useful in long-form writing.

Edited June 20, 2016 by ratgirlagogo

[Petunia13]

I thought a quotation in the article made an interesting pt about the period a sarcasm or passive aggressiveness. Like when someone bothers a person then the other replying to them  "fine." Instead of " fine  " of "fine!" Or another example writing "done." or "okay." on a file or report instead of those words unpunctuated.  It's more curt. 

Speaking of punctuation and grammar I have a serious question or maybe two and know you guys know your shit so wanna ask. Shall I make a thread??

[krimimimi]

Well there's this one 

but that might be less for asking and more for snarking. (As such, I've always been a bit scared to find examples of all the things I've mangled in there.)

[Petunia13]

That's for tv. 

And lol I wasn't thinking I mangled something but didn't know if this was right. At my work I have to write signs and stuff for the public. I replicate what is the brand name or persons name exactly. So I include all diacritic marks that were supplied, which I think matters. My supervisor will go out of her way to change them to not include umlauts, accents, hyphens whatever. Am I wrong or making a faux pas since she always corrects them? I am half German and a word can have different meaning depending on this. I also think it's a bit insensitive to change. But maybe I'm being less American? 

[krimimimi]

Damn, maybe it wasn't the one I was looking for. I thought there was a general one around here somewhere...

Quote

My supervisor will go out of her way to change them to not include umlauts

Ö.ö (that would be a more femine side-eye)

Edited June 20, 2016 by krimimimi

[Petunia13]

I think it was deleted in the upgrade boo. That's why I didn't put this. There.

 

but remembered many y'all had opinions about grammar and the situation described is me creating a peeve for my lead so wanted the feedback

[Moose135]

29 minutes ago, ratgirlagogo said:

Well, that's David Crystal.  And he's talking (as he often is these days) about texting and tweeting more than regular writing.  For the context he's talking about he's likely right, but I think the rest of us will keep on using periods and the rest of the regular punctuation aids just because we all find them useful in long-form writing.

I use full sentences, appropriate punctuation, and proper capitalization in text messages.  Now get off of my lawn!

3 minutes ago, Petunia13 said:

At my work I have to write signs and stuff for the public. I replicate what is the brand name or persons name exactly. So I include all diacritic marks that were supplied, which I think matters. My supervisor will go out of her way to change them to not include umlauts, accents, hyphens whatever. Am I wrong or making a faux pas since she always corrects them? I am half German and a word can have different meaning depending on this. I also think it's a bit insensitive to change. But maybe I'm being less American? 

If it's a proper name or brand, I would include them.

[ratgirlagogo]

4 minutes ago, Moose135 said:

If it's a proper name or brand, I would include them.

As would I.  And Dr  Crystal too I'd guess.

[Petunia13]

Yes for me like a word can mean so completely differently or said differently with those marks (ex: schön - beautiful or schon - already) or have a unique character like ogonek or stroke ect that doesn't exist for us English so shouldn't be substituted. 

I don't really get the motive in changing it. It has been like maybe 6 times I've written them copying company info exactly and she will wait till I leave and swap it out. 

[StatisticalOutlier]

22 minutes ago, Petunia13 said:

At my work I have to write signs and stuff for the public. I replicate what is the brand name or persons name exactly. So I include all diacritic marks that were supplied, which I think matters. My supervisor will go out of her way to change them to not include umlauts, accents, hyphens whatever.

Wait.  A business wants a sign and submits what it wants on the sign and your supervisor deletes things like umlauts and accents and hyphens?  The hell?

I've always wondered how signs get so fucked up, with obvious errors, never mind all the stupid random quotation marks everywhere.  I used to think the sign maker just did whatever the business said to do and actually thought the sign maker should tell the business something is wrong, but now I'm to believe maybe the business had it right and the sign maker changed it? 

Common misspellings could just be the product of a meeting of inferior minds, unaided by spell-check or a third-grade education, but changing proper names?  What is wrong with this woman?

So to answer your question, yes, make it just like the business wants.  I'd go BSC if I told a sign maker what to put on my sign and they changed it. 

[krimimimi]

Although, to answer that more usefully, Mr. Mimi's last name actually has a beta in it - the eszett. Legally, his name must be spelled with that ligature, or it is not his name. So it must be spelled that way on his driver's license, passport, etc. If he gets a ticket in the states, the poor cop will probably read that as a "B" instead.

Embarrassing truth - easily 90% of the time I see his last name is in some form of electronic communications, and those generally use the double "s" instead, just like they use alternate spellings to avoid umlauts (like "oe" instead of "ö"), because not all keyboards have the characters, and not all systems would properly display them. (How do you type in an email address or url if you haven't got the key for it?) So, yeah, probably 9 out of 10 times I'm asked to spell his name, influenced by what I usually see, I technically spell it wrong.

There's something broken when your spouse corrects you that you're spelling his name wrong. 

I also knew a pair of German brothers who, due to a mistake when their birth certificates were filled out, were legally required to spell their last names differently, one with the eszett and the other with "ss". Getting that fixed would supposedly have been a nightmare, so so it remained.

 

Also "schön" can't be reduced to "schon," but *can* be spelled "schoen" because the "ö" is an "oe." Example of a url correction for "ö" here.

[Petunia13]

I work in retail in a high end grocery store's operations. So it's brand names, types of fruit or merchandise or liquors ect changed. Names changed on notes or poster. The brands don't know their signage or labels are this way unless the vendors come which is sometimes. 

She also will take a sign or note I write in a common format like Arial or Tahoma and copy it exactly but in a different (ugly font courier) and then in a different sign (a third font comic Sans or something and so forth) so it's almost arbitrary. But a total waste of time for her and not teaching me anything since she won't say what's wrong or suggest which one to use. But it gives me the message like the way I select names and present them is wrong. 

[backformore]

10 hours ago, krimimimi said:

A few hours later, buddy texts, and says he'll bring his whole family. That's ok, right? *blink*    *blink*

Not a six pack. Not some snacks. His whole family. *blink

WHAT???   crazy.   No way I cook for people I didn't even invite.  And - why is it  YOUR responsibility?   Me, I would ask Hubby - "since YOU decided it was OK for them to come over, what are YOU planning on serving your friends?"   And I would go about my day - laundry, chores, reading a book in the other room, whatever I was planning on doing before a bunch of people decided to hang out in my house.    If the guy is married with kids, I would bet that he told his wife " Krimimmimi's hubby invited us over to watch the game - isn't that nice?  No, he didn't say to bring anything." 

I think I'd also be polite, and tell the wife "Sorry I'm occupied with other things, I had no idea our hubbies had planned a get-together until an hour ago."  

But in all honesty, I might be tempted to say to hubby "Oh, you're having friends over?   I'm going to the gym.  (or shopping, or to a movie)"   Because when I don't feel like being social, I'm not good at it. If I invite people over, I plan, I clean, I make sure the house is presentable and I have an appropriate menu for entertaining.  I can do all that.   But I do it on MY terms, when I want to. 

Edited June 20, 2016 by backformore

[auntlada]

51 minutes ago, Petunia13 said:

That's for tv. 

And lol I wasn't thinking I mangled something but didn't know if this was right. At my work I have to write signs and stuff for the public. I replicate what is the brand name or persons name exactly. So I include all diacritic marks that were supplied, which I think matters. My supervisor will go out of her way to change them to not include umlauts, accents, hyphens whatever. Am I wrong or making a faux pas since she always corrects them? I am half German and a word can have different meaning depending on this. I also think it's a bit insensitive to change. But maybe I'm being less American? 

One, this is a serious micromanager (by which I mean "worst boss in the world"). I'd stop doing the signs correctly, but then you'll probably get dinged for not taking the time to do them right.

Two, whether or not they can have all the diacritic marks depends on your system for printing the signs. I rarely if ever use them in printed (OK, web) copy because I worked at a newspaper for 19 years, so I don't even think about them now. AP style does not use any of them because the systems AP has used in the past and the systems it uses now for transmitting copy messes up extra marks like that. So, for instance, I type resume without an accent and hope readers will understand from context if I mean a listing of their previous jobs or starting up something again.

In your situation, however, if the printer can handle the marks, I see no reason not to use them other than micromanager just wants to communicate that you are doing something wrong -- or maybe she doesn't have enough work of her own to do and has to justify her job in some way.

[krimimimi]

Guys, I just wanted to say thank you so much for your feedback! I now feel a lot less like I'm being some curmudgeonly, unreasonable nut. That does good things for my sanity, and is greatly appreciated. You have no idea how much. :-)

Amusingly, and somewhat astutely (if I do say so myself ;-)), I recently posted this in a different thread:

Quote

Reading your post, I realize I am the Hostess in my group of friends, in as much as we have one. If any combination of my/our friends meet as a group beyond birthdays, it's because I'm/we're doing the work and footing the bill -> the shopping, the cooking, cleaning, decorating such as it is, and the inviting. By gum, it's a lot of work, and not cheap, either. 

[and]

Good grief, people, you could offer to bring a salad, bottle of wine, or dessert once in a while or something...

Well, I guess I should be grateful they've relieved me of the work of actually bothering to invite people... (Fortunately, I have a very black sense of humor and do find that vaguely amusing in retrospect. The italics were there originally, too.)

Basically it's hard to tell people you have plans when you've already said you didn't, and they know darn well I'm hiding upstairs anyway. They weren't particularly grand plans, I was just figuring on watching a krimi, and I haven't really got a (more) secondary location to slink off to these days, more's the pity.

@StatisticalOutlier pretty much nailed it. Yes, there is a wife involved, and I am 100% sure this is her doing. Except it isn't Fathers' Day here (that was in May, and traditionally isn't spent with the family at any rate, but out drinking somewhere. Yes, seriously.), and they won't watch until tomorrow evening, because of the time difference. But for that reason, I also assume sports bars are out, even if they were so inclined, because it'll air in the middle of the night here. (Evil me assumes at least one of the children will get spoiled as to the results tomorrow (it's hard to avoid), and ruin everything for all involved. Muwahahaha! (No radio, no newspapers, super careful surfing... Yeah, right.))

The problem here was somebody moved the goal post on me. This just kept morphing into increasingly less acceptable instances. 

When it was one person, hubs probably invited him for dinner. (He seems to think I can McGyver dinner from nothing.) And we *do* cook almost everything ourselves, but we *haven't* been shopping, and given it's only two of us, even if we'd just been shopping, we don't buy enough of any one set of ingredients to feed three times that number, unless we're planning to do just that. It's a lot harder to stretch food for two to enough for *six* than it is food for four or five to accommodate one or two mouths more. We also don't stock snack foods or children's beverages (beyond tap water ;-)), because who needs the calories or the temptations? (In between trips to the dentist for a root canal that will not end, I ended up in hospital last week on suspicion of another thrombosis/pulmonary embolism combo-to-theoretically-literally-die-for. Doing okish, so I am once again a free-range Mimi (just in time to go back to the dentist's... spare me. x.x). But obviously shopping was less important. (You are now completely justified in asking "then why the DIY, you nutter???" but I think it's just about trying to make something good *happen* instead of just non-stop disasters all the time. That gets really old. And it's not like we're getting heaps and heaps done...))

 

"I think the problem is the husband" 

... So you all had my inner rat at the very suggestion that it was Mr. Mimi's fault, obviously, but on consideration I've realized you're also actually right about that. :-D (Of course, as @BookWoman56 said, buddy's primarily at fault, no question about it, but hubs is definitely the person I have to *thank* for this... situation.) 

@stewedsquash "your problem is the husband letting them get through the barrier. He will have to change his ways if you want to solve the problem."

Wow. Brilliant! Right on the nose, and I couldn't agree more - it really *can't* change unless a) I want to become the total asshole and ride roughshod over situations like this (that's just not me, so that won't happen, and it creates more problems than it solves), or b) he becomes just a little bit less of a pushover, proactive and keeps those barrier defenses up (hopefully that *is* him).

 

Un-/Fortunately reading how you and some of the others described what's taking place also sounded *really* familiar. It dawned on me that for years we had a reversed version of this dynamic where my mom was involved. I'll definitely need to think about that some before I go reading him the riot act. Fudge. (If this trait wasn't a good look on him, I can assure you I'm finding it an even worse look on myself...)

I don't think you have to be blameless to voice objections, but it does seem a bit easy at this stage in the game to hold that behavior against him, when I didn't exactly wise up and stop it, either. 

Still, I need to sit him down and practice "just say 'no!'" and "bring pizza!"

[Qoass]

Whenever my gang of friends get together, it's at the local Chinese buffet.  That way everybody gets to eat what they want, it's easy to split the bill and it's not the end of the world if somebody comes late or leaves early.  They usually have whatever sports event that is happening on the TV over the bar.

[DeLurker]

@krimimimi - telling someone you don't have plans does not obligate you to make some or agree to some.  I've often told my friends "I'm staying in" when invited to do something and that was not an invitation for them to come hang out with me.  That would have been a statement of "I'm staying in if you want to come hang out/watch a movie/help me put together an IKEA bookcase".  No one got offended.

There shouldn't be an adult in the world who doesn't understand the concept that a person wants some downtime.  Their desire to be feed and entertained does not trump your right to structure your time as you see fit.

[Sun-Bun]

On June 19, 2016 at 0:32 PM, ABay said:

Completely unacceptable. Who is this asshole? The very least your husband should do is text back and say "great. Here's what you need to bring with you and you need to help me finish this DIY project before we watch the game." And leave the tape up, and do not clean. You didn't ask them over, they will take what they get. And your husband should explain to the asshole that is unacceptable since he didn't tell him it was not OK to invite his whole family. And why didn't your husband just say no in the first place? Like, "no, it isn't a good time. Sorry."?

Indeed! Total, classless asshole excuse of a "friend"((was he raised by wolves or is he a gypsy?))...nope, I would've gladly made sure that if my husband ever did that to me, it'd be HIS complete responsibility to figure out how to suddenly feed/entertain/prep for a night with Swiss Family Moocherson, as I'd have left to enjoy a lovely dinner and a movie *by myself*. A mature adult should know better than to allow himself to get taken advantage of like that, and a simple polite text back to his friend saying the family could either bring enough extra food/drinks with them or simply not bother coming due to a lack of time for proper prepping/hosting on his part would've sufficed.

So what ended up happening then, krimimimi ??

[Bastet]

I'm not sure what floors me more in this scenario - that the friend had the audacity to say, "Hey, I'm bringing my whole family, cool?" or that the husband didn't say, "Um, no."

And, yeah, I'd have been off having myself a spa day or something.

[GHScorpiosRule]

WTF? Maybe this should go in the TV Unpopular Thread, but I keep seeing it and it peeves me beyond no end (even though he's still one of my crushes!)

i always, always see a picture of ❤️Pierce Brosnan❤️ Below in the "promoted" stories with the offensive and insulting caption of "Famous Celebrities with unattractive significant others" or something like that. And it has the most photoshopped, fugly picture of his wife, who I've seen and think is a beautiful woman. Plus, that picture of them is at least 10 years old.  But, that's not the point.

Yes, yes, it's "click bait" but I REFUSE to click on that link! I did it for one where supposedly I would read about "12 things I didn't know about Dallas and the first thing I read? Who actually shot JR!???

So, I learned my lesson.

But I'm still peeved about the Brosnans "picture," even if I burn with envy that she's married to him.

What?

[zxy556575]

I can't adequately express how angry I get when sick people are, directly or indirectly, blamed for their illnesses.

Why do so many bystanders seem to need a reason in the first place?* Animals in the wild get cancer too, and I don't think it's because they smoked or drank too much or ate the wrong thing.

There usually isn't a provable causal link between a specific behavior and an illness, and even in cases where there is (such as mesothelioma and asbestos), what good does it do the patient to bring it up? Does the fact that a person with cirrhosis drank heavily mean they somehow don't deserve our help?

It just seems like victim blaming to me, done at the time when sick people need the most support.

 

 

* Actually, I believe they do it because it reinforces that because they themselves don't do X they therefore won't get sick. But that doesn't excuse it.

[backformore]

1 hour ago, GHScorpiosRule said:

i always, always see a picture of ❤️Pierce Brosnan❤️ Below in the "promoted" stories with the offensive and insulting caption of "Famous Celebrities with unattractive significant others" or something like that. And it has the most photoshopped, fugly picture of his wife, who I've seen and think is a beautiful woman. Plus, that picture of them is at least 10 years old.  But, that's not the point.

I agree.  How offensive - gorgeous movie stars marry people who aren't, in someone's opinion, other gorgeous movie stars.  So fuckin' what? 

Most of those say "Your jaw will DROP!"   Nope, didn't happen.  I did give in to temptation and clicked on the one that had a photo of a young actress I recognized (can't remember her name)  with the caption "you won't BELIEVE these celebrities are transgender!!"   I clicked through all the photos of well-known transgender people (Caitlyn Jenner, Chaz Bono, REALLY?)  and a few people who are not even "celebs" in my book.  And the actress whose photo I clicked on never showed up in the list.  Learned my lesson.

[Moose135]

1 hour ago, GHScorpiosRule said:

i always, always see a picture of ❤️Pierce Brosnan❤️ Below in the "promoted" stories with the offensive and insulting caption of "Famous Celebrities with unattractive significant others" or something like that...

AdBlockPlus - I don't see any of those "promoted" stories at the bottom of the page...

[DeLurker]

I use it on my laptop and it is awesome.  Is there a version for smartphones? 

[Moose135]

There are - there has been an Android version for a while, and earlier this year they released an iOS version, but you need a newer Apple device for it to work.  I can run it on my iPhone 5S, but not on my iPad 2.  There are a number of stand-alone browsers you can download that include the capabilities, but I haven't really tried any of those to see how they stack up to the native iPhone/iPad browser.