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Pet Peeves: Aka Things That Make You Go "Gah!"


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Your Pet Peeves are your Pet Peeves and you're welcome to express them here. However, that does not mean that you can use this topic to go after your fellow posters; being annoyed by something they say or do is not a Pet Peeve.

If there's something you need clarification on, please remember: it's always best to address a fellow poster directly; don't talk about what they said, talk to them. Politely, of course! Everyone is entitled to their opinion and should be treated with respect. (If need be, check out the how to have healthy debates guidelines for more).

While we're happy to grant the leniency that was requested about allowing discussions to go beyond Pet Peeves, please keep in mind that this is still the Pet Peeves topic. Non-pet peeves discussions should be kept brief, be related to a pet peeve and if a fellow poster suggests the discussion may be taken to Chit Chat or otherwise tries to course-correct the topic, we ask that you don't dismiss them. They may have a point.

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I had a back fusion and gained weight between that and Covid. I went from a B cup to a D. The scar from my fusion goes right down my spine. The idea of having bra hooks in that area make my skin crawl. It drives me crazy trying to find good supportive bras that don't hook in the back. I live in sports bras on the weekends.

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22 hours ago, JTMacc99 said:

Exactly! If you're going to be turning off this road in another half mile, you'll survive going slower than you want to for another 45 seconds. 

I have one spot where it's two lanes at a stoplight that will merge down to 1 land in 1,500 feet or so. It's absolutely lost on me why somebody in the lane next to me would race out in front, only to make the left turn into a parking lot right after the merge point.

WHY?

This just happened this morning! The road my office is located on is two lanes until you have to go under a trestle bridge, there is plenty of signage. Anyone who works in my building would know this, and yet at least once a month one of my coworkers (I don't look over so I don't see the faces) will race me to the merge point and then have to slam on his/her brakes due to the traffic in front of us, and then RIGHT AFTER the bridge is our office parking lot entrance. Why? You saved a total of .13 seconds by getting in front of me. 

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(edited)

A peeve, when there’s a red light ahead and someone rides my butt and then passes me to get to it sooner? The part I enjoy, when  they are still at the red light as I make a left turn on the arrow. I have been known to wave at them.

Edited by ginger90
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On 4/4/2023 at 10:08 AM, Mindthinkr said:

My peeve of the day is incompetence. I’ll spare you the details. 
Also the people who have to pass you and then ground to a halt so they can make a right turn. Does that minute you saved really make a difference? 

It makes a difference when they get rear-ended by the guy they passed because they didn't have sufficient time to slow down for the turn.

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I don’t like when shows make jokes about how odd it is to have, much less care about, a pet cat (especially if the someone is a guy). I’m not even talking about “crazy cat lady” levels and it’s not because I love cats. It’s more about the fact that a cat is a super-common pet so the jokes fall so flat! 

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A pretty first world problem but it seems harder and harder to find clothes that fit me.  

 

I have a big upper body and long torso but short legs.  So my size shirts range from Medium to extra large.  It's hard as well to find a nice comfortable pair of shorts/sweatpants to fit me 

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(edited)
58 minutes ago, TattleTeeny said:

I don’t like when shows make jokes about how odd it is to have, much less care about, a pet cat (especially if the someone is a guy). I’m not even talking about “crazy cat lady” levels and it’s not because I love cats. It’s more about the fact that a cat is a super-common pet so the jokes fall so flat! 

I agree. 

On Mom, Marjorie was at "crazy cat lady" level -- she had something like ten cats.  So, of course, Bonnie made fun of her (Bonnie made fun of everyone), but I adored that when Marjorie invited Tammy to move in with her, Tammy was incredibly excited, saying getting to live with a bunch of cats (and join a puzzle club) was like winning the lottery.  Even I don't want to live with that many cats, but it was so sweet and refreshing to see.

Edited by Bastet
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1 hour ago, TattleTeeny said:

I don’t like when shows make jokes about how odd it is to have, much less care about, a pet cat (especially if the someone is a guy). I’m not even talking about “crazy cat lady” levels and it’s not because I love cats. It’s more about the fact that a cat is a super-common pet so the jokes fall so flat! 

Cats are living breathing lessons in consent and boundaries . Some men don't like that.

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(edited)

With the exception of unhealthy hoarding situations, I would consider anyone who prefers the company of cats to perhaps that of 2-legged mammals, to be someone displaying good judgement, and not to be mocked. 

cat-black-cat.gif

Edited by SuprSuprElevated
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3 hours ago, SuprSuprElevated said:

With the exception of unhealthy hoarding situations, I would consider anyone who prefers the company of cats to perhaps that of 2-legged mammals, to be someone displaying good judgement, and not to be mocked. 

cat-black-cat.gif

Avatar thief! 😹

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(edited)

On a different but potentially CAT-a-strophic note, to each one's own, but I don't think it's a smart idea for parents to have these 'stick figure' bumper stickers depicting the number, genders and evident ages of the car's nuclear family members. Why the composition of one's family be the business of other drivers on the road- particularly those who just happened to have been  stuck in traffic behind said vehicle? 

The other day I saw one depicting a single mother with her children but with a gap between herself and offspring with the words 'position open' written over said gap. What kind of individual would attempt to . . .apply for the open position? No man (or woman) worth their salt would think it was a smart idea to see about meeting up with a total stranger JUST because they saw a stick figure bumper sticker clarifying that the family was headed by a single parent!  Someone in that driver's friend/family circle needs to spell out to that driver that that bumper sticker would net them nothing but bums,cons and/or perverts! Egads!

Edited by Blergh
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With deference to @supposebly (your ^upthread lesson about the evolution of grammar 👏), today's peeve is trendy phrases that go from zero to 60 in a flash. 

Current example is now heard by talking heads (usually sports-related in my case) using "to your point", at every possible opportunity. It's like a favorite new toy.

Just me? Okay then.

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I remember a few months ago the word of the day for the media was  pivot. It didn’t matter what the subject was someone always inserted pivot to the discussion/article/show. I think the shelf life of that word has/is expired now though. I used listen to a show that would do a montage when a word would be used by seemingly everyone all at once.

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2 minutes ago, stewedsquash said:

I remember a few months ago the word of the day for the media was  pivot. It didn’t matter what the subject was someone always inserted pivot to the discussion/article/show. I think the shelf life of that word has/is expired now though. I used listen to a show that would do a montage when a word would be used by seemingly everyone all at once.

Ditto phrases like circle back and words like workaround.  None are brand new, but definitely enjoying a renaissance.

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10 minutes ago, SuprSuprElevated said:

Ditto phrases like circle back and words like workaround.  None are brand new, but definitely enjoying a renaissance.

I don’t know if I wish “recollections may vary” took off or if I like the impact of it being a badass Queen Elizabeth one off. 
I use “there you go, rewriting history” when my sons bring up stuff. It drives them bonkers, in a loving family way. Ha. I understand perspectives but just out and out wrong retelling is a peeve in general.

(not trying to bring discussion of royals here, it is just an anedotal example of this discussion peeve)
 

Edited by stewedsquash
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The word I see or hear everywhere now is interrogating, used as a new way of saying exploring. E.g., this artist is interrogating the relationship between color and shape and society’s treatment of the homeless.  It has to have a political context. 

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(edited)

@EtheltoTillie are they misusing or mispronouncing integrate? Or using interrogate as confronting? Interrogating. Hmm. I hope that doesn’t take off in that use.

Okay I looked up the definition and along with the usual police maneuvers it also means gathering of data in the computer world. Still an odd turn of phrase though, I agree.
 

Edited by stewedsquash
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9 minutes ago, stewedsquash said:

@EtheltoTillie are they misusing or mispronouncing integrate? Or using interrogate as confronting? Interrogating. Hmm. I hope that doesn’t take off in that use.

Okay I looked up the definition and along with the usual police maneuvers it also means gathering of data in the computer world. Still an odd turn of phrase though, I agree.
 

No, it is definitely "interrogate."  It is like "confronting.  It has already taken off in a big way in social science and literary academic writing.  I saw it at an art museum the other day.  I've seen it for the last few years. 

Edited by EtheltoTillie
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This is like the term "curating" for me.  I first noticed it being used a few months ago and though "ok, sure, I guess" but then realized it had been used for quite some time in certain contexts (including here on this board) but I guess it took me awhile to clue in.  It just seems odd though to read about someone curating their wardrobe!

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1 hour ago, stewedsquash said:

I remember a few months ago the word of the day for the media was  pivot. It didn’t matter what the subject was someone always inserted pivot to the discussion/article/show. I think the shelf life of that word has/is expired now though. I used listen to a show that would do a montage when a word would be used by seemingly everyone all at once.

PIVOT!!!

 

image.png.9defbca59b110e73f2b16d2b9fa023c5.png

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One of these days I gotta go curate my wardrobe...seriously (but I had fun using this word 😸). Clothes are hanging in several closets that I hardly ever wear and yet, for some reason, I can't donate them or sell them at a consignment shop because I still like them. I guess I have to wait for the day when I think, "This stuff needs to *go*!"

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4 hours ago, SuprSuprElevated said:

Ditto phrases like circle back and words like workaround.  None are brand new, but definitely enjoying a renaissance.

Maybe it's because I have an IT background but workaround seems like a perfectly serviceable word.  Do you have something you'd suggest as a, ahem, workaround?  [please don't say hack please don't say hack]

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(edited)

Here's a doozy from a social work journal article, dating back to 2009:  It includes both Interrogating and the fearsome "speaking truth to power."

file:///C:/Users/nina/Downloads/Speaking%20Truth%20to%20Power.pdf

Edited by EtheltoTillie
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9 minutes ago, SoMuchTV said:

Maybe it's because I have an IT background but workaround seems like a perfectly serviceable word.  Do you have something you'd suggest as a, ahem, workaround?  [please don't say hack please don't say hack]

I'm not suggesting it not be used, just seems like I've been hearing it with much more frequency of late. 

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37 minutes ago, SoMuchTV said:

Maybe it's because I have an IT background but workaround seems like a perfectly serviceable word.  Do you have something you'd suggest as a, ahem, workaround?  [please don't say hack please don't say hack]

Reacharound?

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1 hour ago, annzeepark914 said:

One of these days I gotta go curate my wardrobe...seriously (but I had fun using this word 😸). Clothes are hanging in several closets that I hardly ever wear and yet, for some reason, I can't donate them or sell them at a consignment shop because I still like them. I guess I have to wait for the day when I think, "This stuff needs to *go*!"

I had to chuckle at this one! I recently lost a lot of weight due to a fall and resultant inability to be very active. 1/2 of my bedroom closet has clothes that were too small for me, but I liked so I kept. Guess what??They all fit now and some are even too big! Kind of ashamed to admit this but I also went through the donation bag that has been sitting at least a year and found things I can now wear again.

Who knows how long the weight loss will last, but glad I had places to "shop" for new duds right at home!!  Sometimes it pays to keep the things you really like. Curating these things will mean they go to the too small side of the closet again! :)

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Webster has the nice clean definition as Interrogate means to question formally and systematically.

So to use it to say you are questioning a thing, rather than a person, works. Cambridge gives examples like "This all sounds perfectly sensible until we start to interrogate the underlying assumptions."

4 hours ago, EtheltoTillie said:

E.g., this artist is interrogating the relationship between color and shape and society’s treatment of the homeless.

Which makes this one ^^^ a bit of a stretch. 

It creates confusion by using the wrong word.

Exploring is clearly a better word unless there are statements or assumptions made such as: "Blue circles are the reason people treat the homeless the way they do."  In that case, interrogate away my friend.

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3 hours ago, SoMuchTV said:

Maybe it's because I have an IT background but workaround seems like a perfectly serviceable word.  Do you have something you'd suggest as a, ahem, workaround?  [please don't say hack please don't say hack)

 Workaround is a wonderfully precise and descriptive word for many problem-solvers in the IT field. In that context, it's a perfect fit.

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It's a very old saying. I don't remember if it originated with abolitionists* but certainly with social activists. It means standing up for what's right, especially when those in power are opposed to you.

*If memory serves, Frederick Douglass used it or a similar turn of phrase in one of his magnificent speeches.

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I love "speaking truth to power" for what it means, and for one of my favorite airport encounters -- I was at the gate reading Anita Hill's book of that title, when a person passing by stopped and asked me if I was enjoying the book.  I looked up and it was Hill herself with a terrific grin.

(Okay, one of my other favorite airport encounters is watching part of the NFL draft in an airport lounge next to Rob Lowe, for how utterly fine that man is in person.  I have a shallow side.)

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13 hours ago, SuprSuprElevated said:

With deference to @supposebly (your ^upthread lesson about the evolution of grammar 👏), today's peeve is trendy phrases that go from zero to 60 in a flash. 

Current example is now heard by talking heads (usually sports-related in my case) using "to your point", at every possible opportunity. It's like a favorite new toy.

Just me? Okay then.

Borderline. God I hate that word added as a modifier to everything.  It's like people don't want to commit to their opinion so add that one just in case they're wrong

Same with 'low key' along the same lines. 

'Adulting'.....grow up and quit whining.  

 

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11 hours ago, Bastet said:

I love "speaking truth to power" for what it means, and for one of my favorite airport encounters -- I was at the gate reading Anita Hill's book of that title, when a person passing by stopped and asked me if I was enjoying the book.  I looked up and it was Hill herself with a terrific grin.

(Okay, one of my other favorite airport encounters is watching part of the NFL draft in an airport lounge next to Rob Lowe, for how utterly fine that man is in person.  I have a shallow side.)

These anecdotes need 10 stars. 

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8 hours ago, theredhead77 said:

People who create dangerous situations by going slower than the flow of traffic, especially in the left lanes. 

You can get a ticket here for that. 

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5 minutes ago, nokat said:

You can get a ticket here for that. 

You can get a ticket for that here, too. But that involves the police or highway patrol coming across it, and I won't be calling them.

My general rule is to not call the police (or 911) unless there is active criming and people are (or will) be in danger, a health emergency situation where someone is having a heart attack, stroke, or something other than a mental health crisis, or something is on fire. An asshat driving slower than the speed of traffic (even if they are parked on cruise control at 65) does not fall under that umbrella. Just!Move!Over!

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58 minutes ago, Quof said:

Tentative drivers are just as dangerous as aggressive drivers. 

It's really scary to be caught between the two types!

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14 hours ago, Kitty Redstone said:

It's a very old saying. I don't remember if it originated with abolitionists* but certainly with social activists. It means standing up for what's right, especially when those in power are opposed to you.

*If memory serves, Frederick Douglass used it or a similar turn of phrase in one of his magnificent speeches.

All I can find doing research quickly is it is attributed to Bayard Rustin, black Quaker involved in civil rights movement. Interesting person so I am going to find a biography about him.

Also the quote is slimmed down to truth to power. The whole quote is speaking truth to the power, which I understand. Sometimes things lose their value when they become a slogan. Anyway thanks for the response, it helped nudge me!

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1 hour ago, Suzn said:

It's really scary to be caught between the two types!

Unless the slow one is behind you and the fast one is in front. Then the problem kind of solves itself, no?

A long time ago, I bought a full set of French Arcoroc glass dishes--bowls, teacups, saucers, everything they had. I wanted the clear glass because I had these really pretty (also French) floral place mats, and I liked that the print showed through the dishes. Fast-forward and they're all scratched up and need to be replaced. I couldn't find replacements for most of what I have. And then a search turned up glass plates at . . . Walmart. Big, heavy, and a dollar a plate. Sold. Still looking for the shallow soup bowls, but these'll do for now.

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(edited)

Having to pace myself with a bag of Strawberry Chex Mix. It’s limited edition so debating if I should stock up on some bags or just enjoy while in stock. It’s up there in Beaver Nugget territory. No nasty pretzels or bagel chips mixed in, just the flavored cereal along with yoghurt covered cereal. 
eta I am emailing Chex to request a peach mix for summer. Thinking also towards fall. Not pumpkin spice but maybe apple? The possibilities are endless for these fruit flavors. 
eta I just emailed peach for summer and cranberry for fall/ holidays suggestion

Edited by stewedsquash
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1 hour ago, stewedsquash said:

All I can find doing research quickly is it is attributed to Bayard Rustin, black Quaker involved in civil rights movement. Interesting person so I am going to find a biography about him.

Also the quote is slimmed down to truth to power. The whole quote is speaking truth to the power, which I understand. Sometimes things lose their value when they become a slogan. Anyway thanks for the response, it helped nudge me!

Rustin was indeed a very interesting person. I don't typically read biographies but have read one on him. It might have been Lost Prophet? I don't remember. He was a deep, innovative thinker, a close advisor to MLK Jr. and gay at a time when being a gay black man was definitely not easy.

The concept itself is philosophically ancient. In the early 70s, Foucault and Chomsky did a sit down and I think this was one of the subjects they discussed? Again my memory is fuzzy here, but I bring it up because Foucault wrote about it in some of his books - it may have been in Archeology of Knowledge and then developed further later on? It's been a long time since I've read anything by Foucault (another truly innovative thinker).

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As long as we are sharing which words or phrases peeve us, mine is "impactful" which literally makes my brain hurt. I don't recall hearing it before a couple of years ago, and had to immediately look it up in the Oxford Dictionary because I could not believe it was a real word, but it is. I hates it.

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