Pet Peeves: Aka Things That Make You Go "Gah!"

[Mondrianyone]

57 minutes ago, emma675 said:

I'm hoping I can just buy a new remote, I don't want to have to get an entirely new treadmill. 

Unless the treadmill is some really obscure brand, I'm sure you can find a replacement remote somewhere--Amazon, eBay, the mfr's website. Otherwise it would be like buying a whole new car because the tailpipe fell off. Don't do that!

[Caoimhe]

On 6/2/2022 at 12:07 AM, Gramto6 said:

Yeah, I had one of those pet peeve days the day before yesterday. I have 4 drawers in the kitchen where I keep silverware, very small appliances, cutting boards. One drawer's tracks broke a couple of years ago.  The other day the other three decided to all break at the same time... geesh! I don't have the patience right now to try to get things out, but at some point I will have to do it. Wish I could fix them, but not in the cards for me now. At least I can put things elsewhere...  In these times I am hesitant to have repair people in the house.

We have a “lazy susan” cabinet that was sticking.  I tried to fix it after watching multiple youtube videos and made it worse.  Now it won’t open at all so we just live without it rather than get someone in to try fixing it.  

[ECM1231]

Incompetent deli/store clerks.

My trip to the bagel store wasn't starting out on the right foot when I saw that their bagel variety was limited. Lots of onion, garlic or everything, but no plain ones, which are the kind that my DIL likes. So, I wound up getting sesame (my favorite) and some cinnamon raisin. Anyway, it was getting late in the day and I decided to splurge and buy myself a tuna melt.  Normally I'd have it on a plain bagel but since there were none, I asked for sesame. Paid for my purchase, drove home and was all set to enjoy. Except that there was no cheese. At all. And the bagel wasn't toasted or anything. So, in essence she gave me tuna salad on a cold bagel. So disappointed. 

[GaT]

2 hours ago, ECM1231 said:

My trip to the bagel store wasn't starting out on the right foot when I saw that their bagel variety was limited. Lots of onion, garlic or everything, but no plain ones

When I go, they are always out of onion (which is what I want), but always have asiago, blueberry, jalapeno, or other disgusting bagel flavors.

[ECM1231]

56 minutes ago, GaT said:

When I go, they are always out of onion (which is what I want), but always have asiago, blueberry, jalapeno, or other disgusting bagel flavors.

Hmm, those are interesting (?) bagel flavors, which I've never seen around these parts. They had 2 rainbow bagels left. No thanks. One son loves egg bagels, the other son hates them. They're both adults and live on their own. After 7 years living in Austin, my eldest is back in NY with his family and loving the availability of bagels when he visits. He lives about a 2-hour drive from me and while the bagels there are better than those he had in Austin, they still aren't as good as those around my neck of the woods. 

Edited June 5, 2022 by ECM1231

[peacheslatour]

17 hours ago, GaT said:

When I go, they are always out of onion (which is what I want), but always have asiago, blueberry, jalapeno, or other disgusting bagel flavors.

Aww, asiago are my favs. Too bad we can't switch.

[Mondrianyone]

Since I left NYC, I have not seen a single egg bagel, my very favorite flavor. I know it sounds disgusting, but they don't taste eggy at all, just a bit sweet and rich. Maybe they're going extinct. The best ones I had were made by a Filipino guy, of course.

[MargeGunderson]

I am still trying to perfect my homemade cheddar bagels. I don’t want jalapeño in my bagels, and every cheddar bagel has jalapeño. Asiago is nice too.

[Jaded]

1 hour ago, Mondrianyone said:

Since I left NYC, I have not seen a single egg bagel, my very favorite flavor. I know it sounds disgusting, but they don't taste eggy at all, just a bit sweet and rich. Maybe they're going extinct. The best ones I had were made by a Filipino guy, of course.

The Lender's Bagels brand that's available in stores has an egg version listed on their website. I've yet to see them in the wild in a store though so I'm still not convinced they exist.

One of my pet peeves is seeing new foods or drinks and never finding them locally or it taking a really long time to finally get here. This was happening even before the pandemic. 

[Katy M]

23 minutes ago, Jaded said:

The Lender's Bagels brand that's available in stores has an egg version listed on their website. I've yet to see them in the wild in a store though so I'm still not convinced they exist.

I've seen them in the past.  Not recently with all the shortages.

[PRgal]

2 hours ago, Mondrianyone said:

Since I left NYC, I have not seen a single egg bagel, my very favorite flavor. I know it sounds disgusting, but they don't taste eggy at all, just a bit sweet and rich. Maybe they're going extinct. The best ones I had were made by a Filipino guy, of course.

Egg bagel like challah or egg bagel as in a bagel with an egg cooked in it?

[Mondrianyone]

22 minutes ago, PRgal said:

Egg bagel like challah or egg bagel as in a bagel with an egg cooked in it?

Egg-enriched dough, like challah. No egg hidden inside the bagel, though that's an intriguing idea. Like Greek Christmas bread!

We used to get bagels straight out of the oven, from a dedicated bagel place. The couple of times I've had Lender's . . . not so good. The only frozen supermarket bagels I find edible are Ray's of Brooklyn. But I'd accept an invitation to @MargeGunderson's place once she perfects those cheddar bagels. (No jalapeños. My Jewish grandmother is rolling in her sombrero at the thought.)

[PRgal]

2 hours ago, Mondrianyone said:

Egg-enriched dough, like challah. No egg hidden inside the bagel, though that's an intriguing idea. Like Greek Christmas bread!

We used to get bagels straight out of the oven, from a dedicated bagel place. The couple of times I've had Lender's . . . not so good. The only frozen supermarket bagels I find edible are Ray's of Brooklyn. But I'd accept an invitation to @MargeGunderson's place once she perfects those cheddar bagels. (No jalapeños. My Jewish grandmother is rolling in her sombrero at the thought.)

Maybe a bagel shop should start selling chagels (braided bagels...)!

[EtheltoTillie]

5 hours ago, PRgal said:

Maybe a bagel shop should start selling chagels (braided bagels...)!

They used to do that!  The place that had them closed. H and H for those who might know it. 

11 hours ago, Mondrianyone said:

Since I left NYC, I have not seen a single egg bagel, my very favorite flavor. I know it sounds disgusting, but they don't taste eggy at all, just a bit sweet and rich. Maybe they're going extinct. The best ones I had were made by a Filipino guy, of course.

I never see egg bagels even here in NYC anymore. But I might be overlooking them. 

[TattleTeeny]

On 6/4/2022 at 4:52 PM, ECM1231 said:

Incompetent deli/store clerks.

My trip to the bagel store wasn't starting out on the right foot when I saw that their bagel variety was limited. Lots of onion, garlic or everything, but no plain ones, which are the kind that my DIL likes. So, I wound up getting sesame (my favorite) and some cinnamon raisin. Anyway, it was getting late in the day and I decided to splurge and buy myself a tuna melt.  Normally I'd have it on a plain bagel but since there were none, I asked for sesame. Paid for my purchase, drove home and was all set to enjoy. Except that there was no cheese. At all. And the bagel wasn't toasted or anything. So, in essence she gave me tuna salad on a cold bagel. So disappointed. 

Way back when, a place gave me a pizza bagel on a raisin bagel! I didn't specify otherwise when I ordered because I really didn't think I needed to!

Edited June 6, 2022 by TattleTeeny

[JTMacc99]

11 minutes ago, TattleTeeny said:

Way back when, a place gave me a pizza bagel on a raisin bagel! I didn't specify otherwise when I ordered because I really didn't think I needed to!

Ew.

My local deli/bagel shop (which has egg bagels, and everything egg bagels as standard choices) has a couple guys who get things wrong fairly regularly. One of them is a nice guy, but I've learned not to order certain things from him.  Example: 

Me: Blah, blah, blah, and a half pound of the Boar's Head Cooked Ham.

Him: Gives me the other ham and not the Boar's Head.  

So I skip the ham rather than trying to explain to him which one is which, or worse, hover over the counter to watch him. 

[Mondrianyone]

20 minutes ago, JTMacc99 said:

My local deli/bagel shop (which has egg bagels, and everything egg bagels as standard choices)

Please PM address of deli/bagel shop ASAP. Putting on my shoes right now. 🥯

[MargeGunderson]

Bruegger’s Bagels has egg bagels. Not sure if they are in your area, @Mondrianyone. 

[SusanM]

All the nonsense swirling around criticising the behavior of a 4 yr old (little Prince Louis for anyone lucky enough not to have read some of the comments) reminded me of the time we took  our son aged around 3-4 to see Sharon, Lois and Bram in concert and he stood up on his seat and yelled out "you guys can't sing!" at the top of his sweet little voice.  Sigh.  Anyway, today's pet peeve: people who expect mature behavior from little kids and then proceed to presume that a small child behaving badly in public has to mean (a) he's incorrigible and/or (b) has rotten parents.

[Mondrianyone]

35 minutes ago, MargeGunderson said:

Bruegger’s Bagels has egg bagels. Not sure if they are in your area, @Mondrianyone. 

I had to Google. The nearest ones are in Mass, several hours away. The closest thing we had to a local bagel place was a food truck that parked 20 miles away for six months, called Bob's Ugly Bagels, and the name did not lie.

But next time I visit the nearest IKEA (also in Mass--we have nothing), I'll check out Bruegger's!

[SusanM]

Another peeve today (I'm on a roll): I was trying to find a suitable meme to put on my FB feed to acknowledge that today is D-Day and instead of finding memes commemorating the soldiers who landed on the Normany beaches I kept finding memes using that historical event as a way to give a slap to people who ask for "safe spaces" or mocking those who feel that white men have been privileged.   Frankly, unless you landed on that beach or performed a similar heroic activity you have a helluva nerve co-opting this to further your own agenda of hate.

Edited June 6, 2022 by SusanM

[TattleTeeny]

That's a peeve of mine: people refusing to even try to understand what is meant by "privileged."

Edited June 6, 2022 by TattleTeeny

[annzeepark914]

5 hours ago, MargeGunderson said:

Bruegger’s Bagels has egg bagels. Not sure if they are in your area, @Mondrianyone. 

Bruegger's Bagels...I still miss them after 24 years. When we left Raleigh & moved to the metro DC area, I couldn't find any. So I wrote to the president of the company, asking him to please open a store here. He wrote back, asking me if I'd like to open a franchise! I loved chicken salad on pumpernickel bagels. Can't find any decent bagels here (even at the Jewish delis!!) so I buy a bag of the mini bagels at Trader Joe's, toast them and put cream cheese & Nova on them. Not too bad.

[theredhead77]

5 hours ago, TattleTeeny said:

That's a peeve of mine: people refusing to even try to understand what is meant by "privileged."

I have two friends that I've started telling "your privilege is showing" when needed. It's starting to making a difference. 

On the bagel topic: Einstein's Bagels should have egg bagels. 

[MargeGunderson]

To my surprise, bagels aren’t that hard to make from scratch and no hard to find ingredients or tools necessary. If you can make bread (or really, if you can bake anything), you can make bagels. I use this recipe (read the comments and questions for tips, and watch carefully for over baking). 

[Lady Whistleup]

My pet peeve is the sugar nazis. I'm happy your no-carb diet is working for you, but I am getting tired of people being judgy for you having a plate of pasta or cake for a special occasion. 

[GaT]

7 hours ago, MargeGunderson said:

To my surprise, bagels aren’t that hard to make from scratch and no hard to find ingredients or tools necessary. If you can make bread (or really, if you can bake anything), you can make bagels. I use this recipe (read the comments and questions for tips, and watch carefully for over baking). 

But if you don't have New York water, they won't be right :-)

[MargeGunderson]

5 hours ago, GaT said:

But if you don't have New York water, they won't be right :-)

Just like my pizza dough 😉! I’ve never had bagels or pizza from New York so I don’t know what I’m missing, which is probably a good thing!

[TattleTeeny]

Oof, treadmills again -- I got my new one after my last one broke (and I did get my money back) and it's very similar, but the fold-up/down handrail is much sturdier. But, oh my goodness, it's remote-control operated only, no buttons on the handrail. I don't like this one bit, I now realize! If I drop the remote and want to get off, I guess I make a jump for it?! It does have that magnet/clip thing that you're supposed to attach to your clothes, which, if disengaged, turns off the treadmill. But I tried that and, oooh -- it is abrupt, like 5 mph to 0! Some people who are better athletes/balancers than I am may be OK with that, but I was very startled!

Edited June 7, 2022 by TattleTeeny

[EtheltoTillie]

35 minutes ago, TattleTeeny said:

Oof, treadmills again -- I got my new one after my last one broke (and I did get my money back) and it's very similar, but the fold-up/down handrail is much sturdier. But, oh my goodness, it's remote-control operated only, no buttons on the handrail. I don't like this one bit, I now realize! If I drop the remote and want to get off, I guess I make a jump for it?! It does have that magnet/clip thing that you're supposed to attach to your clothes, which, if disengaged, turns off the treadmill. But I tried that and, oooh -- it is abrupt, like 5 mph to 0! Some people who are better athletes/balancers than I am may be OK with that, but I was very startled!

As a frequent treadmill user (at a gym) I find that very unsafe sounding. I hope they don’t start changing gym treadmills to that model. Gym treadmills have big stop buttons in addition to the clip on thingy. 

Edited June 7, 2022 by EtheltoTillie

[TattleTeeny]

They won't; this is a small one that can be stashed under a bed. I don't think its type would withstand dozens of users per day. I had to trash my big, "normal" treadmill (not the one I mentioned earlier) a couple of years ago when it became clear that I needed a home workspace that wasn't the dining room table.

Edited June 7, 2022 by TattleTeeny

[SusanM]

10 hours ago, Lady Whistleup said:

My pet peeve is the sugar nazis. I'm happy your no-carb diet is working for you, but I am getting tired of people being judgy for you having a plate of pasta or cake for a special occasion. 

Same.  It used to be meat and people trying to guilt me because I ordered a hamburger, that seems to have calmed down now and the people I know who are vegetarian or vegan just get on with their own lives.  I've noticed now though how often people have to talk about their no-carb diet and proselytize.  Makes me sorry that we've become more casual about eating out with other people.  One of the  fringe benefits of Covid was getting to avoid this kind of thing!

[Mondrianyone]

7 hours ago, GaT said:

But if you don't have New York water, they won't be right :-)

It's the plutonium.

[EtheltoTillie]

Further to Tattle Teeny's post on treadmills, my new peeve is apps for everything.  A new window air conditioner has an app to control the temperature.  It also has regular buttons and a remote, though. 

[SuprSuprElevated]

26 minutes ago, EtheltoTillie said:

Further to Tattle Teeny's post on treadmills, my new peeve is apps for everything.  A new window air conditioner has an app to control the temperature.  It also has regular buttons and a remote, though. 

I agree when we're talking about things exclusively run from an app.  Not smart.  Other than that though, I kinda like it.  Our bed for example, came with only one remote, and rather than have to pay for a 2nd, I run my side from my phone.

Edited June 7, 2022 by SuprSuprElevated

[emma675]

My treadmill issues are ongoing--like Tattle Teeny's, mine is run by remote and the remote has died, so it's currently un-useable. And the seller isn't responding to my questions about if I can buy a new one. Granted, this thing was only $200 on Amazon, but it should last more than just a year! 

[RealHousewife]

1 hour ago, SusanM said:

Same.  It used to be meat and people trying to guilt me because I ordered a hamburger, that seems to have calmed down now and the people I know who are vegetarian or vegan just get on with their own lives.  I've noticed now though how often people have to talk about their no-carb diet and proselytize.  Makes me sorry that we've become more casual about eating out with other people.  One of the  fringe benefits of Covid was getting to avoid this kind of thing!

Food guilt trips are annoying no matter what kind. I'm a vegetarian, and I never push my lifestyle onto my family or friends. BUT it can be annoying that I'm oftentimes stuck eating the same foods over and over when we go out to eat. I can get tired of veggie pizza, veggie burgers, and simple salads. My favorite spots are the vegan restaurants because they have so many options. (And no I'm not pushing you guys into giving up meat, but I swear you can have incredible vegan Mac and cheese.) It is a bummer I rarely get to go to them. What I find a compromise are the places that have multiple veggie options but also serve meat. I have friends who almost have an aversion to vegetables or even healthy. I have a meat eater friend who loves fruits and veggies, and we both genuinely enjoy lighter fare. We get shamed for not wanting "real food." Let everyone eat as much carbs or meat or veggies as they want. 

[SusanM]

21 minutes ago, RealHousewife said:

We get shamed for not wanting "real food."

Unless you are my grandmother you don't get to tell me what to eat and what not to eat!  I gave my grandmother a pass because, hey, she's my Nanny!

[Bastet]

3 hours ago, RealHousewife said:

My favorite spots are the vegan restaurants because they have so many options. (And no I'm not pushing you guys into giving up meat, but I swear you can have incredible vegan Mac and cheese.)

I would decline an invitation to a vegan restaurant.  Vegetarian, absolutely, done that many times.  I hate beans and am not overly into a lot of grains, but I love a ton of vegetables -- I just primarily eat them in side salads and side dishes, while my main course is generally some sort meat; I eat a lot of chicken, a lot of seafood, a good deal of pork, a fair bit of lamb, a little beef, and occasional others.  (I'm maybe of a lower carb persuasion than the average American, but I'm not on a low-carb diet; I eat tacos a good bit [with regular ol' corn tortillas], along with pizza [whole wheat crust, as I prefer the flavor, and do pay enough attention to avoid white flour if I like something better] and occasional pasta [again, whole wheat].)  So I can happily enjoy one meal that doesn't happen to have any meat!  But I dislike a great many vegan versions of things, especially dairy; I simply do not want to eat that way, so those restaurants are too limited for me, just like a steakhouse would be too limited for a vegan.

One of my best friends is vegetarian.  With so many great restaurant options here, whether going out or ordering in, I always let her pick.  I don't want to inadvertently pick a restaurant that only offers her a handful of vegetarian options she'd like.  She mostly chooses "regular" restaurants that have a good variety of vegetarian options; those places have plenty for her to choose from, and have even more for me to choose from, so I just have her pick what she's in the mood for that night, knowing I'll be happy wherever she chooses.  She sometimes picks a vegetarian restaurant, but never vegan -- she's a huge fan of cheese, and doesn't want the vegan version, so she finds them too limited as well, to my relief.

Neither of us have ever preached at/shamed each other over our differing dietary choices.  The only thing that's different than with my omnivorous friends is we rarely cook for each other (but she rarely cooks for anyone other than herself), we mostly opt for restaurants so we can each do our own thing.

Edited June 7, 2022 by Bastet

[PRgal]

10 hours ago, RealHousewife said:

Food guilt trips are annoying no matter what kind. I'm a vegetarian, and I never push my lifestyle onto my family or friends. BUT it can be annoying that I'm oftentimes stuck eating the same foods over and over when we go out to eat. I can get tired of veggie pizza, veggie burgers, and simple salads. My favorite spots are the vegan restaurants because they have so many options. (And no I'm not pushing you guys into giving up meat, but I swear you can have incredible vegan Mac and cheese.) It is a bummer I rarely get to go to them. What I find a compromise are the places that have multiple veggie options but also serve meat. I have friends who almost have an aversion to vegetables or even healthy. I have a meat eater friend who loves fruits and veggies, and we both genuinely enjoy lighter fare. We get shamed for not wanting "real food." Let everyone eat as much carbs or meat or veggies as they want. 

I’m super-picky about plant cheeses because many either use highly processed ingredients or taste really bland/have weird textures.  The best plant based mac and cheese sauces I’ve had were made either from puréed butternut squash or cauliflower and some nutritional yeast.  I’m also picky on plant-based milks (for a different reason - gums/stabilizers)

[kristen111]

I know zip about electronics, so this is my peeve.  What happened with U-tube?  I used to have a library of all my favorite songs on my I- pad.  One day, it just disappeared.  Now, it’s so different that I haven’t a clue where my songs are.  Do I go to the Apple Store, or what?  I probably had about 100 songs on there, all in a row.

[TattleTeeny]

15 hours ago, PRgal said:

I’m super-picky about plant cheeses because many either use highly processed ingredients or taste really bland/have weird textures.  The best plant based mac and cheese sauces I’ve had were made either from puréed butternut squash or cauliflower and some nutritional yeast.  I’m also picky on plant-based milks (for a different reason - gums/stabilizers)

Mac and "cheese" from sweet potatoes! It's so good!

I find that the Miyoko's brand of fake cheeses is always pretty good, especially the smoked mozzarella. 

Ugh, a peeve of mine is people assuming it's just the veg(etari)ans are the preachy pushers. Because, man, in my own life, it's not me who tells anyone what they should do dietwise. I wish the same could be said in the other direction. 

[ECM1231]

On 6/6/2022 at 12:21 AM, EtheltoTillie said:

I never see egg bagels even here in NYC anymore

They're super prevalent on Long Island.  How about bialys? Is that just a metro NYC/Long Island thing?

[EtheltoTillie]

1 minute ago, ECM1231 said:

They're super prevalent on Long Island.  How about bialys? Is that just a metro NYC/Long Island thing?

I can easily get bialys in NYC.  They're like onion rolls. 

[SoMuchTV]

36 minutes ago, TattleTeeny said:

Ugh, a peeve of mine is people assuming it's just the veg(etari)ans are the preachy pushers. Because, man, in my own life, it's not me who tells anyone what they should do dietwise. I wish the same could be said in the other direction. 

I hear that!  A while back, I stopped in a strip mall "jerky" store (part of a chain) to see if they had any of the non-meat jerkies that my daughter likes.  Everyone on the staff was wearing a shirt with "PETA" on the front, and, you guessed it, "People Eating Tasty Animals" on the back.  Okay then, backing out...

[ECM1231]

My eldest son is vegan. He'd become a vegetarian freshman year in college, so more than half his life now. My youngest son is vegetarian and does eat cheeses, dairy, etc., which makes cooking for him a heck of a lot easier. My eldest became vegan probably 6 years ago or so. He has never liked eggs, so that wasn't an issue and mostly just started drinking almond milk and not having any other dairy. However, he used to cheat a lot when visiting me. He'd go out for NY pizza with friends (he'd moved to Texas 7+ years ago (he moved back to NY last Fall) and he never refused any of my home baked cookies when home or the ones I sent him at Christmas. Personally, it's his life, but it annoys me b/c to me it's either you are or you aren't. Vegan foods are so much more expensive. I have to buy vegan cream cheese to go with the bagels, Beyond Burgers are costly, as are vegan cheeses. Oat milk, coconut milk yogurts, etc. Now, I'm happy to do it and I even do cook for them sometimes (I make a nice veggie chili and also marinara sauce made with Beyond sausage), but what really annoys me is that he and his wife won't make any kind of allowances for us. At all. We are left to our own devices when visiting them upstate. Their refrigerator is super small and so if we did bring our own food, we'd have no place to store it. We're not familiar with the area where they live as they only moved there late October and they have mostly been down here to visit us rather than us making the trip upstate. They are raising their now one-year old son as vegan, too. He's at the point where they are having to switch from infant formula to whole cow milk and I know my DIL is NOT happy about it.

Anyway, when my son still lived in Texas my husband went to visit him for 10 days as my son was having car trouble and my husband is an auto mechanic. I emailed my son a list of foods that he should have on hand for his dad, a meat eater. Any previous trips we made to his home we had had to do our own grocery shopping. Apparently I raised him poorly and he and his then girlfriend didn't think to have any food on hand that we could eat. We DID take them out for dinner several times, but my husband prefers home cooked meals to restaurant meals.  Maybe this isn't the forum for this post and it should go in the Family thread, but it ties into vegan/vegetarian/meat eater discussion. 

So, my son was pretty upset and said that no, he would NOT pick up a package of hamburgers or some chicken or steak for his dad. The idea of even picking up meat revolted him. Well, some of the smelly stuff he eats and then puts in my refrigerator revolts me too, but I don't bitch about it.

I've had this convo with other relatives (not specifically about vegan/vegetarian stuff), but about how our adult children don't know how to entertain their parents. Whenever my in-laws came for a visit the first thing I did was offer them something to eat or drink. I'd never leave them to use the Uber Eats app to get food for themselves. 

Which leads me to my final point....what ARE the obligations of a host to provide all kinds of options for their guests? And does it swing both ways? For example: we gave our now one-year old grandson a first birthday party. We held it in our backyard b/c most of the relatives live downstate or within an hour's drive. My son and his family came down for a week. I have 2 vegetarian nieces, a vegetarian son and 2 of my son's friends are vegetarian as well. I made sure to have Beyond burgers, vegan cheese, veggie hot dogs, etc. I bought vegan mayonnaise to make potato salad, and even vegan butter for the corn on the cob. The only thing my DIL had to do was provide a cake for her son. She won't let him have sugar, either. Even just for his special day. I also made cookies using vegan butter.

Well, if the day ever came when my son and his wife hosted anybody for anything, I know that they'd be serving vegan food. Nothing for the meat eaters. I understand that they find it repugnant to eat meat, but not everyone is crazy about just eating vegetables or grains/beans. Are they to be held to the same standard as those of us who are meat eaters and provide options for all of our guests?

[TattleTeeny]

That all sounds more like a specific personality (for lack of a better term) issue than a ubiquitous vegan issue. I'd just start being less accomodating as far as food goes. You tried, they didn't. They can fend for themselves next time. 

But I do have to add that there doesn't have to be "nothing for the meat eaters." All the meat eaters I know don't eat only meat, same as I don't eat only grain and beans (which leads to another peeve: "but what do you eat?!").

Quote

The idea of even picking up meat revolted him. Well, some of the smelly stuff he eats and then puts in my refrigerator revolts me too, but I don't bitch about it.

I mean, fair is fair -- you made space for their stuff and they should figure out a way to do the same for you -- but there is a difference in why the things are revolting.

Edited June 8, 2022 by TattleTeeny

[peacheslatour]

13 minutes ago, TattleTeeny said:

That all sounds more like a specific personality (for lack of a better term) issue than a ubiquitous vegan issue. I'd just start being less accomodating as far as food goes. You tried, they didn't. They can fend for themselves next time. 

But I do have to add that there doesn't have to be "nothing for the meat eaters." All the meat eaters I know don't eat only meat, same as I don't eat only grain and beans (which leads to another peeve: "but what do you eat?!").

Right? I understand not wanting meat in the house but they could have premade deli sandwiches, veggie pizza and take dad out for dinner. On the flip side, I think it's a hell of a lot to expect home cooked dinners every night when these young people probably have full time jobs, kids and a thousand other demands on their time.

[TattleTeeny]

I actually do have a meat-eating houseguest on the way here next week (from Australia -- my BFF since I was 8!). Luckily, no one in my life is very formal as far as guest/food/etiquette expectations. I'll grab a few basics and snacks, and we'll order or go get groceries as needed; whatever, I don't care and neither will she.

As far as the other way around, I bring my own stuff sometimes; other times, my friends make sure to accommodate me. And if I am somewhere that isn't super veg-friendly, I can always cobble together something or other.

Edited June 8, 2022 by TattleTeeny

[RealHousewife]

1 hour ago, TattleTeeny said:

Mac and "cheese" from sweet potatoes! It's so good!

I find that the Miyoko's brand of fake cheeses is always pretty good, especially the smoked mozzarella. 

Ugh, a peeve of mine is people assuming it's just the veg(etari)ans are the preachy pushers. Because, man, in my own life, it's not me who tells anyone what they should do dietwise. I wish the same could be said in the other direction. 

Ditto! 

43 minutes ago, ECM1231 said:

My eldest son is vegan. He'd become a vegetarian freshman year in college, so more than half his life now. My youngest son is vegetarian and does eat cheeses, dairy, etc., which makes cooking for him a heck of a lot easier. My eldest became vegan probably 6 years ago or so. He has never liked eggs, so that wasn't an issue and mostly just started drinking almond milk and not having any other dairy. However, he used to cheat a lot when visiting me. He'd go out for NY pizza with friends (he'd moved to Texas 7+ years ago (he moved back to NY last Fall) and he never refused any of my home baked cookies when home or the ones I sent him at Christmas. Personally, it's his life, but it annoys me b/c to me it's either you are or you aren't. Vegan foods are so much more expensive. I have to buy vegan cream cheese to go with the bagels, Beyond Burgers are costly, as are vegan cheeses. Oat milk, coconut milk yogurts, etc. Now, I'm happy to do it and I even do cook for them sometimes (I make a nice veggie chili and also marinara sauce made with Beyond sausage), but what really annoys me is that he and his wife won't make any kind of allowances for us. At all. We are left to our own devices when visiting them upstate. Their refrigerator is super small and so if we did bring our own food, we'd have no place to store it. We're not familiar with the area where they live as they only moved there late October and they have mostly been down here to visit us rather than us making the trip upstate. They are raising their now one-year old son as vegan, too. He's at the point where they are having to switch from infant formula to whole cow milk and I know my DIL is NOT happy about it.

Anyway, when my son still lived in Texas my husband went to visit him for 10 days as my son was having car trouble and my husband is an auto mechanic. I emailed my son a list of foods that he should have on hand for his dad, a meat eater. Any previous trips we made to his home we had had to do our own grocery shopping. Apparently I raised him poorly and he and his then girlfriend didn't think to have any food on hand that we could eat. We DID take them out for dinner several times, but my husband prefers home cooked meals to restaurant meals.  Maybe this isn't the forum for this post and it should go in the Family thread, but it ties into vegan/vegetarian/meat eater discussion. 

So, my son was pretty upset and said that no, he would NOT pick up a package of hamburgers or some chicken or steak for his dad. The idea of even picking up meat revolted him. Well, some of the smelly stuff he eats and then puts in my refrigerator revolts me too, but I don't bitch about it.

I've had this convo with other relatives (not specifically about vegan/vegetarian stuff), but about how our adult children don't know how to entertain their parents. Whenever my in-laws came for a visit the first thing I did was offer them something to eat or drink. I'd never leave them to use the Uber Eats app to get food for themselves. 

Which leads me to my final point....what ARE the obligations of a host to provide all kinds of options for their guests? And does it swing both ways? For example: we gave our now one-year old grandson a first birthday party. We held it in our backyard b/c most of the relatives live downstate or within an hour's drive. My son and his family came down for a week. I have 2 vegetarian nieces, a vegetarian son and 2 of my son's friends are vegetarian as well. I made sure to have Beyond burgers, vegan cheese, veggie hot dogs, etc. I bought vegan mayonnaise to make potato salad, and even vegan butter for the corn on the cob. The only thing my DIL had to do was provide a cake for her son. She won't let him have sugar, either. Even just for his special day. I also made cookies using vegan butter.

Well, if the day ever came when my son and his wife hosted anybody for anything, I know that they'd be serving vegan food. Nothing for the meat eaters. I understand that they find it repugnant to eat meat, but not everyone is crazy about just eating vegetables or grains/beans. Are they to be held to the same standard as those of us who are meat eaters and provide options for all of our guests?

You are awesome for catering so much to the vegans in your life! Seriously, I don't expect anyone to go to the lengths you do, because it really can be a lot of work. I'm always vegetarian but am more flexible with veganism because it is a lot harder to eat with others as a strict vegan. And as someone who eats plant-based, yes it goes both ways! There have been people in my life who pick up my habits, and that's cool. But I don't believe in forcing your family/friends to eat like you. However, to be honest, I would find it very difficult to cook meat. I became vegetarian very young and have never cooked meat in my life. at That said, I do buy it at stores/restaurants for others. Home-cooked meals would be tricky, but I would make sure there was food for you to enjoy one way or another.