Pet Peeves: Aka Things That Make You Go "Gah!"

[hoosier80]

Pet Peeve for this time of year - seems specifically to hit around the holidays - Halloween through Christmas primarily (although a few other times during the year):  Co-workers with kids who have to leave for little Johnny's:  Halloween, Harvest Party, Field Trip (zoo, museum, farm, amusement park, you name it), Thanksgiving (play, meal, craft fair), Christmas (tons of stuff).  It's like it's a given - well I HAVE TO LEAVE because we're going to the petting farm.  And of course, those without kids or older kids are stuck doing the work.  And the bosses do not say a word, probably in fear that they'll hear you're discriminating or anti-children.

 

If I have to leave for a doctor's appointment or a lab test, then I typically get a barrage of questions - how long will you be gone, who will cover your stuff, etc.?  Yet little Johnny's field trip is deemed vastly more important - no questions like I get for mom/dad who are gone for the rest of the day.  We're all at the same basic level, all hourly (for this quarter at least - changes according to each management regime).

[bilgistic]

YES. There's a woman on an adjacent team who works about 9:30am to 3pm because her 10?-year-old twin boys are in school and she wants to "be there for them when they get off the bus from school", as if there aren't YMCAs or any other myriad types of after-school childcare. (I was a latchkey kid from age six. I don't recommend it by any means, because, you know, lifelong effects of neglect, but...) She doesn't have to go to morning or afternoon meetings because: kids. Meanwhile, I'll have to go back to the doctor for my hand, and I'll get the third degree. Boss goes to his kid's whatever all the time because he's a higher being because he reproduced. Screw that noise.

 

I was late getting in this morning because when a raindrop falls, people lose their minds in traffic. I live 15 minutes from work but it takes me 45 minutes to get in when it rains. I guess I should start consulting the Farmer's Almanac from here on out. And OF COURSE, the boss starts texting me on my NOT-PAID-FOR-BY-WORK phone if I'm not ass-in-seat at 9am on the dot. GTFO me! I've asked him to stop. He insists on having "team meetings" (of our three "team members") at 9am. I asked him if he'd like me to schedule a meeting at 7pm when I'm still here. It's not that I don't get his point, but EVERYONE ELSE in the company is allowed to have flex time and/or come and go when they need. I'm not. He's not willing to work with me at all. He thinks that his way of life is everyone else's, and everyone else is wrong.

 

Alrighty. Enough ranting for the day.

Edited November 9, 2015 by bilgistic

[roseha]

The ignore feature is one of my favorite features here, as opposed to TWoP (RIP). I'm not on other sites so I don't know if it's common but it must be a blessing for those with stalkers. Right now, I have 3 ignores just to spare myself some blood pressure spikes and sprained eyeballs. 

 

I'm never sure about ignore/block/unlike on the internet.  I'm really cautious about who I friend on Facebook, because once I friend them it can turn out that they post constantly and drive me crazy, and then I get the idea that if I "unfriend" them they will see it.  It's especially bad with a relative.

Speaking of Pet Peeves, there's a guy over at Flickr who was incredibly rude to me about a week ago.   He actually insulted my intelligence on a subject I know something about (photography related).  He was also answering a question I didn't ask and while I didn't say that to him, just that I had tried what he suggested already, thanks anyway, he wouldn't let it drop, he just insulted me.  Yes, this guy doesn't really know me, but he's the admin for his group, so if I leave it, he'll see it and I don't want to get into a flame war that other people can see. Not sure what to do.  At this point I just didn't respond, so people are going to see his rudeness for itself, but it doesn't make me feel very good. 

[potatoradio]

 

 

I read that some people are pissed at Starbucks, to the point of urging people to boycott.

Starbucks, according to them, is joining the "War on Christmas"

 

Uh....OK, I'm just going to presume that these are the same "Christians" who yelled themselves silly about Chik-fil-A being able to keep the Christ in their chicken sandwiches. Hello, Starbucks is a PRIVATE corporation, gentle lambs. They can put Beelzebub on their cups or spray paint "Santa ain't real and neither is heaven. You're in hell NOW. Burn! Burn!" on their walls. I don't need Christ in my coffee to remind me what season it is, OK? Oh, and if you want to fight this "War on Christmas," are you seriously not going to buy presents or anything to avoid being a consumer cliche? Ya, didn't think so...

 

 

I only wish the cups were bigger. I need a trough. It can be baby-poo green for all I care

 

The trough can be baby poo green, not the coffee, right?! :) Although, maybe if Starbucks served Ecto green coffee, that would count as "holiday appropriate" and they'd stop participating in this dreadful war. 

 

Which reminds me: everything is NOT a war.

 

 

I got a Whole Foods card once and appreciated it so very much. I bought a shitload of fancyassed craft beer and organic kale with it

 

Yes!! I needed an idea for dinner!!

 

On behalf of humanity, I thank you for your posts about teacher gifts. You're sure you don't want just one more "World's Best Teacher" mug shaped like an apple with a ruler handle and funny looking worm? Spoilsport. And I don't get why you're not enthralled with a pan of chocolate chip Rice Krispie treats from a sanctimommy (heee heeee); gawd, she MADE those herself in her stainless steel kitchen with her KIDS! She's sharing her American dream with you. Be a little grateful, eh? She's PAYING your salary, ya know...and you have summers off while she has to spend them at the country club. The LEAST you could do is fawn over the ten minutes she took out of her life to make you a PRESENT.

 

God, public servants these days...

 

Oh, and I've obviously had too much anti-Christ coffee, but I do have to say that I am also sick and tired of hearing that workplaces should bend over backwards for people with kidlets. How about flexibility for everyone instead of trying to nitpick who really "needs" it? I'm all for parents being able to stay home with a sick kid without loss of vacation; I'm also for those of us without kids being able to flex our time so we can, you know, take care of life that keeps happening even without kids. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Sun-Bun]

Starbucks: If you want a damn Christmas/Christian themed cup, bring your own so you aren't creating extra garbage. And stop worrying about what cup the person around you is using!

Seriously. As stupid and lame as it is for Starbucks to actually be so fearful of incurring any customers' wrath by NOT DARING to remotely recognize any the of holiday greetings/designs on their cups whatsoever, it's even lamer to go around whining and ranting about it like it's such a big friggin deal.

Although I did think thT the dude who went viral with his Starbucks holiday cup rant had an amusing idea about telling their baristas that his name is "Merry Christmas", thus forcing them to write it on the cup after all, it's still ridiculous to claim that Starbucks "hates Jesus" because of that. But by all means, I think telling baristas there this season that your name is Happy Hannukah or Happy Kwanza or Happy Holidays is a brilliantly silly way of getting around pussywhipped Starbucks' latest ridiculous publicity stunt.

[Bastet]

Oh, and I've obviously had too much anti-Christ coffee, but I do have to say that I am also sick and tired of hearing that workplaces should bend over backwards for people with kidlets. How about flexibility for everyone instead of trying to nitpick who really "needs" it? I'm all for parents being able to stay home with a sick kid without loss of vacation; I'm also for those of us without kids being able to flex our time so we can, you know, take care of life that keeps happening even without kids.

 

 

Exactly.  Work-life balance is important for everyone; it's not just parents who are entitled to it. 

 

Anyone who hasn't read Elinor Burkett's The Baby Boon: How Family-Friendly America Cheats the Childless should do so now, because that side of the coin does not get nearly as much attention as it should.

[JTMacc99]

I'm never sure about ignore/block/unlike on the internet.  I'm really cautious about who I friend on Facebook, because once I friend them it can turn out that they post constantly and drive me crazy, and then I get the idea that if I "unfriend" them they will see it.  It's especially bad with a relative. 

Facebook has a feature when you can unfollow a "friend." Just takes them right out of your news feed. You can also favorite people so that they always appear at the top for those of you who have hundreds of friends.

 

I found out about this when trying to deal with an ex coworker and serial "copy this as your status" offender. She's a nice person, but she needed to be removed from my news feed.  I also use this for a couple distant relatives who would be insulted if I unfriended them and for an old fraternity brother who recently tried to kill himself.  

 

I realize that makes me sound like a character right out of Seinfeld, so I'm going to leave it without explaining because it's funnier that way. The actual story is horrible and sad.

[Bastet]

Since many of us here have complained about the general inability/unwillingness to communicate in complete sentences, I'm going to share this snippet of an email I just received from a friend who advertised her car for sale on Craigslist yesterday:

 

"I'm ready to hand the keys to anyone who can write a complete sentence with proper punctuation."

Edited November 9, 2015 by Bastet

[backformore]

I never expected any employer to give me extra consideration because I had kids.  I worked when pregnant, quit when I could no longer make the drive.   I stayed home with my kids for a few years,  then worked part time, evenings and weekends, while my husband was home.  I didn't work full-time until my kids were old enough to be alone after school.  when I needed to attend ANYTHING, I took vacation days.  I get irritated with the new entitled parents.  

The new idea of parents getting PAID leave blows me away..

[DeLurker]

I was one of those parents who got special consideration because I was a parent - but it came at a price.  I accepted a lower salary than I could have demanded for the flexibility to get in late/leave early and work from home when necessary.  I did conference calls at 6 AM (Pacific) with my East Coast HQ, I took home work and was working after the kidlets went to bed.

 

But it was disclosed up front in my job negotiations and in place when the rest of the West Coast operations got started - in fact, I was hired to build the West Coast operations.  I eventually found my own boss to oversee the regional op because I knew with my home life (vicious messy divorce and an autistic child) I couldn't commit the necessary time and effort.

 

That's probably not the situation most of you guys are dealing with, but there are circumstances where it is a negotiated part of the job.

[roseha]

Facebook has a feature when you can unfollow a "friend." Just takes them right out of your news feed. You can also favorite people so that they always appear at the top for those of you who have hundreds of friends.

 

Thanks very much JTMac99.  I almost never post as "myself" (I belong to a small art organization and post their Facebook page for them, but I deliberately keep my name out of it).  However I'm always taken aback by constant posters and it does make it hard to see what you are looking for.

I still don't know what to do about the Flickr admin guy.  If he had insulted me that way on this board, he would have been disciplined, but whom do you go to when it's the admin who is so blatantly insulting over something you never asked about?  I'm just afraid of other photographers whom I respect seeing me leave.   I don't want to look petty, but I'm really offended. 

[janestclair]

With all due respect to the guy who told your SIL that "teachers get too many gift cards": that guy is either a goddamned moron or a goddamned liar. And he obviously has no idea what teachers are really like and how the professional education system really works.

Because speaking as a teacher of the past 15 years, trust me when I say that teachers fucking LOVE gift cards!!!!

My fellow teachers and I practically jump for joy over gift cards. We literally count them up and proudly show off our loot, gushing about which parents gave us the best ones.

Starbucks cards are 50/50: some of us love them. Some of us don't love coffee, but are delighted to use these cards as stocking stuffers and/or regift to other coffee lovers. Others will trade you their Starbucks cards for other cards. Target and WalMart cards are always a hot commodity and are often traded the most. Fast food cards are often considered tacky.

Grocery store cards are also usually a big hit!

I got a Whole Foods card once and appreciated it so very much. I bought a shitload of fancyassed craft beer and organic kale with it. I also really enjoy BedBath&Beyond and Trader Joe's cards. Starbucks is okay for me, but I'd prefer those cards to the cheesy chain restaurant gift cards. Then again, I'm a restaurant foodie snob and only eat local; some teachers with kids are thrilled to bits to get a Red Lobster or Olive Garden card to lug their family there for a rare night out.

But school supplies? Fuck that shit! If I want goddamned school supplies, I'll get the school secretary to order that shit for me on the school's expense account, like most other teachers do.

So most of my fellow teachers and I would be insulted by such a "gift"---that'd be like giving a fireman a new hose or a plumber a new wrench or giving a dentist toothpaste and floss as a "gift". Comon' now, don't be that daft, folks.

If you aren't going to give teachers gift cards, at least be creative---my two fave parent gifts I got other than gift cards was a seat cover with my name embroidered on it and personalized stationary.

You know what teachers DON'T want anymore of?

Mugs. Mugs filled with candy. Notebooks. Plants. Baked goodies that most of us pitch in disgust. Lotion. Cheap jewelry. Scarves. Scarves of any sort, just please don't go there unless it's a goddamned Hermes scarf. Candy. Fugly Christmas ornaments. Oven mits. Mugs. Crappy candles. Framed photos of your family/child((shudder)). Hot chocolate gift sets. Anything featuring an apple/ruler/pencil on it. Mugs.

Any other questions?

And if you *really* want to make many of us teachers extra happy this holiday gift season?? A giftcard to the local liquor store would be pure awesomeness. Most of us are driven to drinking thanks to our students, after all, so why hide behind false pretenses?

Or get some parent friends to pool together money for a spa certificate for poor achey teach.

Or there's the best gift of all for a teacher: MONEY.

Thank you and class dismissed.

 

Sun-Bun, I love your post so much I'd marry it. 

 

I'm a high school teacher so we really don't get much in the way of gifts, but...yeah. I do not need another goddamn candle from Walmart that smells like my grandmother's house.  Nor do I need another coffee mug, or some other random tchotchke with an apple on it.  God no.  I also hate homemade cookies and other assorted edibles.  I don't eat anything a student gives me.  Sorry, but no.  And school supplies? Yeah, fuck that. Gift cards, however.  Bring. It. On.  I still have one I got in June for Macy's. $25!!  Completely unnecessary, but totally appreciated.  If you're going to get me a gift (and you absolutely do not have to), a $5 gift card to WaWa is better than some random crap I'm going to toss in the garbage as soon as you're out of my sight. 

 

Edited to add in the coolest gift I ever got, from one of my favorite student.  (I need to preface this with the fact that I teach biology, otherwise this is a weird gift.)  It was 3 giant plastic "Petri dishes" with stuffed microbes.  Like a plushy , except they were viruses, cells and bacteria instead of like, a teddy bear.  There were a bunch.  I still have it on my desk because it's cool as hell.

 

Regarding the Starbucks red cup controversy - people get offended over the stupidest bullshit, and the things people do in the name of religion infuriate me.  That's why I'm an agnostic, even though I was raised Catholic.  It all fell apart when I went to CCD as a kid and asked the teacher, "If God is everywhere why do we need to go to church on Sunday to pray?" and did not get a satisfactory answer.  I have faith, but religion is another matter entirely. 

 

Personally, I don't buy Starbucks because it's overpriced diabetes in a cup, and it doesn't even taste like coffee. Give me a giant, $2 drip coffee from WaWa.  I could not possibly care less what color the cup is, so long as the contents are brown and contain caffeine.  I'd even take it in an IV. 

Edited November 9, 2015 by janestclair

[bilgistic]

People here in Charlotte are livid, livid, I tell you, because the mall created a "glacier" tableau instead of the "traditional" Christmas tree setting for Santa. Mall management caved and changed it. Sigh. It's going to be a long season.

[KnoxForPres]

potatoradio- "I don't need Christ in my coffee to know what season it is" made my day.

In addition to teachers, I find home baked goods to be a dud gift in the workplace. I've never eaten any of it. Does the ziploc just make it so unappealing, or what is it? Something about it is revolting.

A lady I work with- her cube looks like it should be on Hoarders. No exaggeration. And no one ever ears a bite of anything she brings because, well, what the fuck her house must look like! And yet she's the one who brings 2 dishes to potluck and makes 6 random things (powdered sugar chex, bars that Paula Deen makes, etc) and they all get trashed.

And I'm not all evil and find that kind of sad. But when your cubicle looks like a condemned site- just give it up.

[BooksRule]

I was late getting in this morning because when a raindrop falls, people lose their minds in traffic. I live 15 minutes from work but it takes me 45 minutes to get in when it rains.

 

This reminds me of another one of my pet peeves.  It drives me crazy when co-workers drift into to work late on rainy days, because 'it took me longer to get here because of the rain'.  Well, surprise, surprise!  Do these people live in a cave so that they didn't notice it was raining and that they might have to leave home earlier?  If I can manage to get to work on time during the rain, why can't they?

 

Oh, and I've obviously had too much anti-Christ coffee,

 

This made me laugh.  I don't usually buy coffee at Starbucks (because I'm, well, cheap), but I totally plan to buy some of this coffee during the Christmas season, maybe more than once.

[Maharincess]

stewedsquash, that's so sweet. What was the cookie jar in the shape of?

SunBun do you mind if I copy your post to put on my Facebook page? A lot of my daughter's friends are on my Facebook and they have young kids. Last year so many of them were talking about the mugs and cookies they were giving to their kids teachers.

I wanted to tell them last year that those are the kinds of things teachers hate, but I just didn't have the heart. I gave my son's first grade teacher a card with a hundred dollar bill in it, she pulled me aside after vacation and thanked me, she said she loves that they care enough to get her anything but if she got one more mug or one more "Best Teacher" plaque, sign, sticker or magnet she was going to scream.

After that, every teacher got the same thing and they all loved it.

Edited November 10, 2015 by Maharincess

[MargeGunderson]

Pet peeve - my coworker who pushes her work on me because I "am better at it." Yes, I am better at it, but the real reason is that coworker does not think that type of work is worth her time. Apparently my time is worthless. I don't think she hears herself talk, or she would be a little more careful to not insult me while dumping her work on me. If you are going to claw your way to the top, don't tell me me to bend over so you can climb on my back to do it.

[ratgirlagogo]

Hey! I thought this thread was about peeves - how dare you post an incredibly touching story like that!!!! Grrr.. I've got something in my eye.

[auntlada]

I am suddenly worried that when my son starts school next year that we're going to need to get his teachers gifts for Christmas (and possibly the end of the year). I don't do it at his daycare because I'm never sure exactly how many teachers he has. There are always two lead teachers for the room, but there are also other teachers/helpers, and they sometimes change from day to day depending on how many children are present in each classroom and what time they arrive and leave.

 

Are gifts for teachers really expected now? Will my child be the one with the cheap and insensitive mother if he doesn't bring a gift? (He is, but they don't necessarily need to know that.) I don't remember ever bringing a gift to any of my teachers -- except, of course, the year I had my mother for reading, but she got her gift at home, and it was really a mother's gift, you know. Also, I was 11 so it probably wasn't fantastic.

 

On the bad mother note, I am glad that his daycare has a no-home-baked-treats rule for parties, etc., so I don't have to be the mother who always brings store-bought cookies and/or cupcakes. When we have to sign up to bring stuff for parties, we always sign up for cheese puffs because the kids love them, and there are never leftovers.

 

That brings up another peeve, though. They have a party for every holiday, and parents are supposed to supply everything: snacks, drinks, napkins, paper plates, cups, treat bags, etc. I get that the teachers don't make enough to do it, but we do pay quite a lot to the place to send our children there. Maybe the school could supply some of the stuff -- at least the paper goods -- or maybe not have a party for every holiday. It's not like 3-year-olds or 4-year-olds will know (let alone the younger ones). And every now and then, we get a note that the kids get hungry mid-morning, so if we want to supply a snack for 15 kids, we can. No, I do not want to supply a snack for 15 kids. My child eats breakfast before he goes, then they have breakfast, lunch and an afternoon snack there. If the kids are hungry, make their meals bigger or tell their parents to feed them breakfast before they come. I'm pretty sure that anyone who can afford to send their kids to this daycare/preschool can afford to feed them breakfast (especially based on the cars in the parking lot).

[Maharincess]

It was a tractor. She was from the midwest and they always talked about tractors. She was maybe about 28 or so and very pretty and had two sons of her own. She called my son her side kick. I often wonder if she still has that stupid cookie jar...

When I was reading your comment I was thinking "I bet she still has that cookie jar".

I loved the school field trips and parties. I always signed up to make cupcakes or whatever was needed and loved going in to help with the parties. On field trips all of the kids wanted to be in my group because I was "the fun one". Some of the best memories my kids have of me is me in their classrooms.

I miss it so much. I wish I could do that stuff at my grand daughter's school.

Teacher gifts are totally optional auntlada I promise nobody will think badly of you or your kid if you don't bring one.

I'm confused about a section of your comment that says "except, of course, the year I had my mom for reading", I know I'm just reading it wrong but what does that mean?

Edited November 10, 2015 by Maharincess

[auntlada]

In fifth and sixth grade, one of our classes was called "Reading." It probably would be similar to a literature class, except we did cover some literature in English. I don't remember exactly what we did, although we did a lot of worksheet type things that I can't remember the name of and now it's going to drive me crazy. I keep wanting to call it Weekly Reader, but that's not it because that's the magazine/catalog-like thing that had books you could order. We also had to keep a journal, at least in her class. Mom taught sixth-grade reading.

[Maharincess]

Oh, ok. I get it, thanks. I kept rereading the sentence and just didn't get it. I almost felt too stupid to ask.

[auntlada]

I didn't say it very well for people unfamiliar with the school system where I grew up, which may or may not be like other schools. It probably wasn't, but I don't know.

[BookWoman56]

I never expected any employer to give me extra consideration because I had kids.  I worked when pregnant, quit when I could no longer make the drive.   I stayed home with my kids for a few years,  then worked part time, evenings and weekends, while my husband was home.  I didn't work full-time until my kids were old enough to be alone after school.  when I needed to attend ANYTHING, I took vacation days.  I get irritated with the new entitled parents.  

The new idea of parents getting PAID leave blows me away..

 

Parents getting paid leave is not really a new idea, except for the U.S., which is the only industrialized country that does not offer paid maternity leave. Finland, for example, offers both maternal and paternal leave, in addition to a useful box of supplies for the newborn (also condoms for parents). If interested, details are here: http://www.kela.fi/web/en/parental-leave.

The rationale for paid parental leave is fairly simple: Many studies have shown that kids who have a SAH parent for at least the first year or two have far fewer problems in school, lower rates of juvenile delinquency, etc. So, many countries look at the cost of providing paid maternal leave as being more than offset by fewer problems when the kids are older. I was lucky enough to get 8 weeks of paid maternity leave when I had my daughter, but I worked for a large, fairly progressive corporation at the time. 

 

I've never felt I was entitled to special breaks or perks simply because I had a child. Anyone in the workplace should be able to take an occasional day or half-day off for whatever purpose, illness, appointments, etc. without being made to feel that 4-8 hours away from work is going to destroy the productivity of the entire department. It may be that employers are more willing to be flexible with employees who have kids, but I think that's just them not wanting to look bad. Although my daughter is now old enough to deal with her own illnesses, when she was younger and was too ill to go to daycare or school, yes, I had to take time off, but that time was deducted from my standard allotment of paid time off (vacation days, sick days, etc.). I have apparently been lucky, but for virtually all of my career, I have worked for companies and with managers who recognized that every employee, parent or not, occasionally will need to take what we jokingly referred to as a "mental health day" just to decompress or handle stuff that can only be done during the normal working hours.

 

My new pet peeve has to do with telemarketers. A few years ago, I sold my house because I needed to go assist my parents while one of them had a serious illness and recovery that took a couple of years. When I moved back to my current location, the real estate market was very volatile, and on top of that, I was unsure how long I would remain here (and in fact will be relocating in about 6 months), so rather than buy another home, I am renting.. I usually don't get the telemarketing calls aimed at homeowners. However, because I am now working full-time from home, I had a land line installed a couple of weeks ago and have received a ton of calls from people wanting to interest me in home security systems. So, when they ask me if I would be interested in getting a free home security system in exchange for sticking one of their signs in my front yard, I tell them I am not interested because, renting. And to please remove me from their list, because the same two or three freaking companies have called me several times a day for a couple of weeks. Instead of apologizing for wasting my time and for their company deluging me with unwanted calls, the response from every single one of them has been, "Oh, you don't qualify for our program since you are renting."  Seriously? You interrupted me during working hours with an unsolicited sales pitch, and when I politely explain that I am not interested and that I would really appreciate it if you would remove me from the calling list, you can't offer even a half-assed apology, such as "Sorry to have disturbed you"? Instead, you're going to try to make me feel all deprived because I don't "qualify" for your product/advertising scheme? Even if I were in the market for a home security system, this lack of basic courtesy would make me unwilling to purchase one of their systems. If I dial a wrong number, I apologize to the person for having bothered them. I don't see that this is any different, but instead these people are acting as if they were doing me a huge favor by calling me and I have wasted their precious time.

[backformore]

When my kids were in school all the parents would chip in and get a gift card. But that was more for the end of the year.  Christmas gifts were discouraged, and cash gifts were not allowed.   I guess there was the fear that giving a teacher money could be interpreted as buying a good grade? The school would send a letter around and make suggestions about items to buy for the class or for the school, instead of buying for the teacher.  What they liked best was donations of books for the school library.  They also got whiteboards, markers, paints, etc.   

 

I LOVED when the kids brought home little Christmas ornaments they made in class.   My Christmas tree is the most eclectic tree you'll find, with ornaments made from cans, pine cones, acorns, popsicle sticks, yarn, along with fancy glass ornaments. 

[Sun-Bun]

Maharincess, PLEASE share my post: spread it to every parent you know!!! Thank you---you truly are doing the Lord's work!

We teachers don't expect gifts at all, but it's always appreciated and a pleasant surprise nevertheless. And it certainly does work in a student's favor, admittedly: One of my most difficult students/parents from my class several years ago were kind enough to give me $75 TJ Maxx gift cards two years in a row. I put up with their insane kid and their general annoyingness quite willingly because of that, when I normally would've blown off many of their daily check-in calls and constant meeting requests otherwise.

And proud educator fistbumps back'atcha, janetstclare!

Glad you enjoyed it and thanks for the agreement...see, we teachers get it. Too bad most parents don't.

[Maharincess]

Doing the Lord's work, that's awesome for an atheist like me!! Lol. I'm sharing it right now. I just didn't have the heart to tell the girls last year that the teacher doesn't want a mug with candy in it or homemade cookies. It was their kids first year in school so they were proud of getting them presents.

I'll let you know the response it gets. If anybody wants to share it is that cool?

I don't have many people on my Facebook at all, I rarely go on there but somebody may want to share it.

Edited November 10, 2015 by Maharincess

[bmasters9]

 Instead of apologizing for wasting my time and for their company deluging me with unwanted calls, the response from every single one of them has been, "Oh, you don't qualify for our program since you are renting."  

What gets me is why they would say that renting disqualifies you, when before you had said to them that you didn't want their security system anyway. Firmly saying that you don't want their system shouldn't lead to them saying that you don't qualify due to renting-- such is highly illogical.

[auntlada]

Was it the overhead transparencies? 

 

No. We divided into groups (that weren't named, but everyone knew they were the smart group, the in-between groups and the dumb group -- at least the kids in the smart group knew) and usually went to the library with our group and listened to something on tape and then answered essay-type questions about it. I'm probably going to have to ask my mom.

[DeLurker]

I am suddenly worried that when my son starts school next year that we're going to need to get his teachers gifts for Christmas (and possibly the end of the year). I don't do it at his daycare because I'm never sure exactly how many teachers he has. There are always two lead teachers for the room, but there are also other teachers/helpers, and they sometimes change from day to day depending on how many children are present in each classroom and what time they arrive and leave.

 

Are gifts for teachers really expected now? Will my child be the one with the cheap and insensitive mother if he doesn't bring a gift? (He is, but they don't necessarily need to know that.) I don't remember ever bringing a gift to any of my teachers -- except, of course, the year I had my mother for reading, but she got her gift at home, and it was really a mother's gift, you know. Also, I was 11 so it probably wasn't fantastic.

In the lower grades, there are generally Room Moms (or Dads) that coordinate gift giving for the teacher and it has always been optional at the schools my kids attended.  It definitely reduced the numer of World's Best Teacher mugs...and since the Room Moms typically interacted with the teacher pretty closely, they were typically had a better idea as to what kind of gift (usually gift card) would be most appreciated. 

 

But if you end up giving an individual gift card, I wouldn't worry.  My SIL is a chem teacher at the local high school and she gets a ton of them.  She happily uses them as stocking stuffers and if she's in an area where she might pass a homeless person, she often hands one for a fast food place out to them.

[bmasters9]

http://www.nj.com/business/index.ssf/2014/11/bamboozled_what_happens_when_a_3750_bottle_of_wine_really_costs_3750.html

 

Remember this from last year in New Jersey, where a restaurant patron named Joe Santini ordered a bottle of wine that he was told was "thirty-seven-fifty," as in $37.50? Well, when he got the bill, it was really $3,750. I first read that in a Readers' Digest yesterday at the dentist's office, and it shocked me that this patron was not told that it would really be $3,750. The waitress, if the wine was really that much, IMO, should have said "three thousand, seven hundred fifty dollars." 

 

What do you think about that? Have any of you also been in such a situation?

[Mountainair]

With the lack of parental involvement in the school systems I don't see many teachers getting any recognition at all, let alone stupid Christmas mugs with candy in them. My oldest is in Kindergarten so I haven't had to do the public school system gift giving thing yet but when he and my youngest (who still is in preschool)were in preK we would give Christmas related mugs, store bought candy or cookie mixes, spatulas, aprons, etc. It's what I could afford for the group of four or five teachers. I would personally love someone to gift me something like that. At the end of the year I usually gift a beach bag with reading material, SPF, towel, etc. Maybe because I haven't become so disenchanted with the holidays and always keep in mind, "it's the thought that counts" that I see no problem with gifting a teacher something like that. It should be better than nothing but I guess nothing would be better for some people. 

[Qoass]

 

Have any of you also been in such a situation?

Something similar happened to me.  I saw something in a store window I loved but didn't need.  I went in to ask how much it was:  only $16 so I decided to treat myself.  As the saleswoman was carefully wrapping it up in its elaborate box, I commented that at only $16 I should buy two!  The saleswoman's shoulders sagged, she stopped wrapping, she looked up at me and said..  "Not sixteen... sixty."

 

Oops.  (This was back in the day when my rent was $240 so $60 was a huge chunk of change!)

 

Every year I listen to my local public radio hosts talk about how I should be giving holiday cash gifts to just about any service professional I'd so much as brushed up against during the year but my policy is that if they earn more than I do, they can get by with just my best wishes.

Edited November 10, 2015 by Qoass

[DeLurker]

With the lack of parental involvement in the school systems I don't see many teachers getting any recognition at all, let alone stupid Christmas mugs with candy in them. My oldest is in Kindergarten so I haven't had to do the public school system gift giving thing yet but when he and my youngest (who still is in preschool)were in preK we would give Christmas related mugs, store bought candy or cookie mixes, spatulas, aprons, etc. It's what I could afford for the group of four or five teachers. I would personally love someone to gift me something like that. At the end of the year I usually gift a beach bag with reading material, SPF, towel, etc. Maybe because I haven't become so disenchanted with the holidays and always keep in mind, "it's the thought that counts" that I see no problem with gifting a teacher something like that. It should be better than nothing but I guess nothing would be better for some people. 

One of the nice things the Room Moms did was include a list of the teacher, aides and assistants favorite treats for anyone who wanted to give something separately.  There's been years where I bought flower bulbs of a particular kind,  a couple of gallons of Chick-fil-A tea, a certain brand of coffee, ...I love your end of year gift!  That's awesome.

[Mountainair]

I did flower bulbs one year and had the kids decorate the pots. I thought that was a good gift but...............

 

I always try to put things in the teachers' baskets that I would want myself. I like mugs (my husband always brings my coffee cups to work and I never get them back), hand sanitizers, specialty candies, kitchen utensils, pockets tissue packs, car air fresheners, etc. That way if some one with more money than me gifts them a gift card they don't have to use it on little things like that. 

 

I am actually on my way to go volunteer in my sons kindergarten class. I do this once a week and the teacher said that in her five years of teaching I am the only parent that has ever volunteered to help in the classroom. There is no such thing as a room mom or dad here, obviously and it's a little sad to me that I'm the only one that has volunteered to help (I know for a fact that several other parents are stay at home but I digress). I really doubt these teachers are getting any thing as a thank you from these parents much less a stupid mug. 

[hoosier80]

I agree about the telemarketers.  I had one a few years back, selling me lawn care.  I said sure, it sounds like a great deal, but I think you have to get my landlord's approval first.  Click.  I used that even when I owned my house to get rid of the home sales/maintenance type of calls.  I don't seem to get many calls selling that type of thing.  If I don't recognize the number on an inbound call, I don't answer it.  Most telemarketers won't leave a message.

 

Pet peeve that ticked me off today - rushing the holiday season.  It's not even Thanksgiving and we have Black Friday specials.  Actually, the whole pushing of Black Friday gets me irritated.  I didn't even hear that term 20 years ago when I managed retail stores.  It was just day after Thanksgiving sales, kicking off  the Christmas shopping season. In general, all of the holidays have become too commercialized.  I get criticized by family members because I don't coat my house in decorations, looking like a Michaels' store.  "You just don't care about Christmas".   A few decorations (if any - I'm usually away during Christmas - so a waste of time and effort most times) is enough for me.  I'd rather spend time getting thoughtful presents for others or baking than decorating. Decorations are not the meaning to the season anyway.  A close second are those who are offended with the Starbucks cups (plain red).  I get enough holiday in every other damned area, a plain red cup doesn't offend me.  I am also not offended if someone says Happy Holidays instead of Merry Christmas.  I am a regular, weekly church goer, so someone not saying Merry Christmas does not threaten me or my beliefs at all.  If you are wishing me well in any way, I take that as a nice gesture.  I don't need to shove my religious beliefs down everyone else's throats to bolster up my beliefs or my religion.    

[auntlada]

One of the nice things the Room Moms did was include a list of the teacher, aides and assistants favorite treats for anyone who wanted to give something separately.  There's been years where I bought flower bulbs of a particular kind,  a couple of gallons of Chick-fil-A tea, a certain brand of coffee, ...I love your end of year gift!  That's awesome.

That's a good idea. I am going to have to remember it in case I ever have to be room mom. I am going to have to figure out how to do that stuff since I work and never have enough vacation time as it is. My boss is pretty flexible, though, and will let us work lunches to make up time. I would like to help as much as I can and am allowed to, in part because then I can know what is going on without relying solely on the word of an often unreliable narrator who is 5 years old. (One time he told us he got the bruise on his head when his teacher stepped on him. We were there when he hit his head on the car door and knew how he got it.)

[JTMacc99]

I have an internet phone account that counts as my home phone. I use it occasionally for outgoing phone calls, and have disabled the incoming ring.  All calls go to a full voicemail box.

 

I use that phone number for pretty much everything that "requires" a phone number.  All rewards cards, credit cards, phone number for shipping information, the cable company, and pretty much anything else where a company is getting my number.  For the important ones, like the credit cards, I make sure they communicate with me via e-mail.  I only give out the cell phone number to family, friends, schools and anybody I might actually want to call me.

 

I receive zero telemarketing phone calls.

Edited November 10, 2015 by JTMacc99

[ZaldamoWilder]

Came in here to complain vehemently this morning.  And now ya'll got me awww'ing at tractor shaped cookie jars (squash that actually made me tear up.  adorable!) and "unreliable narrators"  lol! 

 

This isn't a peeve, but the discussion about work and parents taking time off brought to mind a question my bestie (childless) asked her college roommate (one baby) years ago.  I was just walking into the room and she, bestie, said but don't you think it's unfair that essentially all of your colleagues have to pull together and cover whatever you may have missed for being allowed the shortage in time to get to drew's whatever? I mean really what I'm asking is don't you think it's unfair that I don't have that same right because of my choice not to have kids?  She, college roommate, said one of my colleagues is a smoker.  Do you know how many times every day he will step out and leave the building for 15, 20, 30 minutes at a time?  Bestie shook her head.  College roommate said, nope, you don't because nobody questions his right to shave off an hour of company time every day to accommodate a choice he made that I didn't.  My trade offs come in ways my colleagues don't notice, like I don't leave my desk to take a lunch anything, let alone hour.  I get here at 7 and leave at 5, even though the office work day doesn't start until 8:30.  While watching the worst 8th grade production of Taming of the Shrew that ever was, I, not my colleagues on my behalf, am answering my boss's emails.  I will start feeling badly about my intentional absences just as soon as anyone else asks where Tony is for a grand total of an hour every day.   She didn't talk all Shonda Rhimes gladiator speech-ish in her everyday life but I'd been standing there cereal spoon mid-air that whole time.  I put my bowl on the table, walked down to the basement and air hi five'd every couch pillow I met.    

 

auntlada, I got kicked off the endless school celebrations committee by bringing the children boxes of pencils.  We were celebrating Arbor Day.  Work the system girl, z'all I'm saying.

 

my real peeve of the day is the subject of something that bothered me so much I posted it on my FB page this morning - in the so what category, you can count the number of posts I make on one hand. 

 

Dear lady on the 7:09 Path Train to WTC,

 

This is the part you missed. When the gentleman with a cane got on the train, as soon as I saw him and before we’d pulled out of the station, I offered him the seat I was occupying. Not because of the periodic announcement to please be courteous to the elderly/pregnant and/or disabled or the sign posted nearby instructing the same. I said excuse me and he didn’t hear me. I tapped his hand twice and asked if he would like to sit down. He said no but thank you. You missed all that because it took place at the stop before you got on.

What you didn’t miss was what you thought was an opportunity to courtesy shame me. When a seat became available you said to the gentleman with the cane, there’s a seat for you over there sir, then turned back to the girlfriend I commute with and me and said loudly: because SOME PEOPLE don’t listen. I suppose you were talking about the intercom courtesy announcements.

 

Yolanda turned to me and said was that outburst for us? I said girl I don’t know. Then I asked you if you were referring to me. You said, again, loudly and now gesturing to the sign, you’re supposed to give up your seat for people with disabilities. Just as I started to tell you what you hadn’t seen, you stuck your headphones in your ear, turned your back and decided to quit listening. Ah. Ok, I see what you did there, irony, very clever. Lol. Yolanda said how does she know we're not disabled or pregnant? I mean not all disabilities can be seen. It occurred to me then that maybe I should’ve offered you my seat as your disability is quite obviously your personality.

 

See here's the thing lady who's too old for long fried blond hair, I don't need an announcement or a sign or an unsolicited admonishment from a total stranger about how to behave respectfully. I got that. You. Missed. It. How’s about the very next time you feel like playing presumptuous morality police and decide to insert yourself into another grown up’s business, you find out what and who the fuck you're really mad at.

 

Signed,

Consider yourself quite fortunate that I'm not any parts of the "SOME PEOPLE" you thought I was

 

It's a 3-pronged peeve. 

1.  I cannot STAND being blamed for something I didn't do.  It's perfectly fine if you think I'm an asshole, but I require you to have a  justifiable experience.

 

2.  I cannot stand being dismissed.  I know, it's not original, not too many people are wild about this one.

 

3.  Because of the combination of the above 2-piece? there's a longevity with which I will remember every detail about this woman and incident that is annoying.  Like the amount of time my memory can devote the exact and specific retention of bullshit is alarming.

 

better now.  we can go back to talking about how everybody knows it snowed just outside the manger on the Baby Jesus' birthday so don't fuck with the flake on the cup.  <-- ya'll know I'm kidding right? lol.

Edited November 10, 2015 by ZaldamoWilder

[DeLurker]

Awww....Zalda (may I call you Zalda?), let me buy you a virtual cup of AntiChrist coffee, but maybe decaf?  That hag sounds like a perfectly dreadful way to start any day.  Two words come to mind:  Bite me (the Beyotch is implied).

 

Having worked with smokers before who take a lot of smoking breaks, including one guy who literally got shakey hands if he went longer than 30 - 45 minutes without a smoke, great point.

[bilgistic]

In re: the cup debacle...if you are in any way religious, this will probably offend you. Otherwise, click on. It's in Facebook; I'm sorry.

 

From The Oatmeal: "I heard some people were upset about the new Starbucks cups. I have a solution."

https://www.facebook.com/theoatmeal/photos/a.10150413121115078.628758.220779885077/10156269057060078/?type=3&theater

[ZaldamoWilder]

Awww....Zalda (may I call you Zalda?), let me buy you a virtual cup of AntiChrist coffee, but maybe decaf?  That hag sounds like a perfectly dreadful way to start any day.  Two words come to mind:  Bite me (the Beyotch is implied).

 

Having worked with smokers before who take a lot of smoking breaks, including one guy who literally got shakey hands if he went longer than 30 - 45 minutes without a smoke, great point.

 

Lol, girl I'll answer to bout anything, just spell it accurately on the check  :P. 

 

Bwahaa! tea fan here but I'll still take that cup so I can sharpie marker sixes all over it. 

 

Ok, you see? THIS right here is why I need a travel version of PTV.  I need ya'll with me at all times.  I know I could've snuck a bite me in there before those earbuds went back in!  dammit. 

 

I can't say a word about nicotine tremors, if I know there's cake around here and I don't get some... well.  {{smooths skirt}}.   I guess it's that fairness is interpretive.  I rage out over the weirdest shit.  One of my co-workers got me by the elevator bank (at 4pm) and asked me what kind of arrangement (yeah she said it italicized) I had with my boss that I got to leave early every day.  I said math isn't an arrangement, you just aren't here yet when I start. 

In re: the cup debacle...if you are in any way religious, this will probably offend you. Otherwise, click on. It's in Facebook; I'm sorry.

 

From The Oatmeal: "I heard some people were upset about the new Starbucks cups. I have a solution."

https://www.facebook.com/theoatmeal/photos/a.10150413121115078.628758.220779885077/10156269057060078/?type=3&theater

 

LOL!!  I love the guy who said "have a word with yourself" 

[auntlada]

I have a coworker in another department who complains about my department's manager leaving at 3:30. Of course, he gets to work at 6:30. She doesn't get to work until almost 9, although she is supposed to start at 8:30.

[ZaldamoWilder]

^ selective fairness.  lol.  I remember having, it wasn't an argument really, but a really frustrating conversation with a lady I worked with about company holidays surrounding religion.  She would be up in ARMS when anyone was out of the office or left early for high holy Jewish holidays.   And I was like what exactly are you mad about?  She'd say it's not fair.  I'd say what isn't?  That they (yeah don't get me started on the problem with they) that they get to leave early or be off for Yom Kippur or Rosh Hashanah (forgive the spelling) when she doesn't get to leave early for our holidays.  Unfortunately for her she was referring specifically to Columbus Day.  I'd say girl the company isn't closed, anybody who leaves or leaves early for those days is using personal time.   She'd conclude by saying well, still.  Lol.

[Bastet]

Oh my; I'd give a wide berth to anyone walking around proclaiming Columbus Day as "their" holiday.

 

People need time off because life is like that.  Any brand of, "Well, I'm more deserving of it because of reasons" entitlement gets on my nerves. 

[ZaldamoWilder]

I won't bore ya'll but the stories get way more entertaining.  She thought of American and Caucasian as interchangeable.   Once a month or so I delighted in Al Sharpton'ing her ass right outta my office.  Those were good times, I actually miss her a lot. 

[ALenore]

I've got a pet peeve about a checkout line, and I'm irritated at both parties involved.  I was at a CVS store over the weekend, it was 10:00 at night, so there weren't many people in the store.  I was buying 3 items, another women who got to the register just after me had one item.  But in front of us was a couple, a guy in his 50s and a much younger woman.   They had two grocery carts filled to overflowing with Halloween decorations, candles, candle holders, plastic skulls, jack o'lanterns, skeletons, etc.  There was only one clerk at the register, and it took forever to check them out.  He wanted each item bagged separately.  After about 10 minutes, the clerk finally called someone else to come to a register, but the guy didn't even come with a cash drawer, so he couldn't make change and had to go back to get some.  

 

I've got no idea why they were buying so much Halloween crap, the store was having a 75% off sale, but I can't imagine what anyone would need with all that stuff, it was enough to decorate several houses.  The only thing I can think is that they were planning on keeping the stuff until next year and selling it at a flea market.   

 

The clerk should have asked for help earlier, and if I was the buying such a large amount of stuff, I would have offered to let someone who was only buying a couple of items ahead of me.   

[glowlights]

I've got a pet peeve about a checkout line, and I'm irritated at both parties involved.  I was at a CVS store over the weekend, it was 10:00 at night, so there weren't many people in the store.  I was buying 3 items, another women who got to the register just after me had one item.  But in front of us was a couple, a guy in his 50s and a much younger woman.   They had two grocery carts filled to overflowing with Halloween decorations, candles, candle holders, plastic skulls, jack o'lanterns, skeletons, etc.  There was only one clerk at the register, and it took forever to check them out.  He wanted each item bagged separately.  After about 10 minutes, the clerk finally called someone else to come to a register, but the guy didn't even come with a cash drawer, so he couldn't make change and had to go back to get some.  

 

That? That is weird. Were they buying two carts full of Halloween stuff just so they could get bags? (sorry you got stuck behind their mess)

 

"American = Caucasian" makes me grind my teeth.

 

Add me to the list of people who are peeved by the sentiment that every minor child-related errand is sacred, but those of us who don't have children are never supposed to take time off or have commitments outside work. Someone who was forever taking off during the work day to do stuff for his kids once told my husband that our planned weekend trip was just a non-essential "choice". As if that guy's wife's uterus was a Pez dispenser set on auto, squirting out kids with no "choices" involved. Bah.

[Bastet]

I don't think I've ranted about this here before, but talk about coworkers who think their status as a parent entitles them to special treatment reminded me ...

 

In my first office job, I was first on phones for our department since I was low woman on the totem pole.  One coworker got calls multiple times per day from her kids and, to a lesser extent, her husband (needless to say, 99% of them were about things that could have waited until she got home).  It blew my mind then, and it still does looking back on it; I never bother anyone at work over the phone with personal stuff unless it's important or time-sensitive, because it's disruptive. 

 

It reminded me of Cagney & Lacey, when Mary Beth had a nervous breakdown and Harvey came storming into the precinct giving Samuels hell for how hard he works her and Samuels fired back with how maybe Harvey ought to examine his own role in her stress since, "Every time I come out here, she's taking a call from you or one of the kids about dinner, or laundry, or who's doing what."  Because it was constant.  And it was noticeable to everyone, including the department VP, who eventually said something to her.  It's not magically appropriate to receive personal phone calls throughout the day, every day, on the office phone just because the callers are the fruit of your loins.

Edited November 12, 2015 by Bastet

[Maharincess]

Oh wow, the Cagney and Lacey reference reminded me of how I always wanted to marry the character named Isbecki because the last 5 letters of his last name is my first name. I always wanted to be Becki Isbecki.