Pet Peeves: Aka Things That Make You Go "Gah!"

[SunnyBeBe]

Peeve:  When I eagerly visit a restaurant that is well rated and everyone that I know raves about and I have a VERY disappointing experience.  I mean, how hard is it to bring the Greek salad to the table before it's completely wilted and salmon cold, hard and over cooked. AND missing the warm pita bread that I specifically asked about.  Add to it a  a long wait, to get the disappointing food.   Why does this happen to me? lol Oh, and one other in our party of 4 got her specific order all wrong.  Sent it back, brought it back wrong again.......lol  How is a highly rated Greek restaurant fail to be able to serve a simple Greek salad with salmon?  If they can't handle that, how would they handle something more complicated?

Edited February 3, 2018 by SunnyBeBe

[BookWoman56]

I usually won't completely blow off a restaurant based on one bad experience; it could be that the regular cooks/wait staff are out sick and replacements had to be brought in at the last minute, or a couple of people are just not firing on all cylinders today and things got fucked up. For a restaurant that I had never visited previously, I'll give it one more try and if it's disappointing again, then it goes on my list of restaurants not to visit again. For a restaurant that I have visited previously and enjoyed, I'll give them at least a couple of more chances, and if the disappointment continues, wait 6 months or so before going again. There have been a few exceptions; one visit to a particular Chinese restaurant in my city was enough to convince me never to eat there again, despite the fact that it was a popular restaurant.  And I swore off an entire chain of restaurants for a year after two very bad experiences in a row involving under-cooked (almost raw in the center) poultry and potatoes; I have revisited the chain (not the same exact location) recently and what I ordered was fine, but if I order a poultry dish from them again, I will be sure to test out the middle before actually eating any of it. 

I basically figure that every restaurant/business is going to have a bad day once in a while, but if it's a pattern, then I'm out of there.

ETA actual pet peeve: Cable/internet service providers who can't seem to do what they're supposed to do. I've mentioned elsewhere that I had my son, DIL, and grandson living with me for roughly a year after they relocated from overseas; when I bought my new house back in late July, I set up cable, internet, and landline service. The cable service was more for the benefit of my son and his family, as neither my daughter nor I watch much TV. I watch various shows via Netflix and so forth. So, now that my son and his family are in their own house, with their own cable service, I called my cable provider the middle of January to remove my cable service. I told him I was not using the TV at all, neither the regular cable nor the HBO/Cinemax package.  (We do watch a few HBO shows but can get those via Amazon, and since I don't watch Cinemax at all, the price for HBO at Amazon is roughly half of what I'm currently paying for the cable HBO/Cinemax package.) So, customer service rep explained that it would actually be cheaper to just downgrade to the lowest tier of cable, so that I would retain my "bundle" discounts for cable, plus internet, plus land line. I agree to that; he puts in the order; and I foolishly think we're done. So, FF until a couple of days ago, when I get my new bill. Yes, the cable has been downgraded, but the HBO/Cinemax package is still there. WTF? I specifically asked for it to be removed at the same time that the regular cable package was downgraded.  Because it was not, I had to do a live chat (which I'm grateful for that option as opposed to a phone call), but it took about 20 minutes for the new customer service rep to understand that no, I wasn't asking to cancel the cable entirely, but just to remove the HBO/Cinemax package that should have been removed mid-January. It's finally done, but they are giving me credit only from yesterday forward in this billing cycle for the HBO/Cinemax charge. I don't feel I should have to pay for half a month of a service I had asked them to remove, but didn't have the energy yesterday to escalate the billing issue.  I'll give it a couple of days, then call in or chat with someone else to see if I can get credit for the correct number of days.

Edited February 3, 2018 by BookWoman56

[bilgistic]

I'm pretty sure that's the strategy. "Exhaust the customer so they won't fight the charges."

[auntlada]

I just realized that I forgot to grease and flour the pans for my layer cake that is now cooling in the pans. Crap. I need to write big instructions for myself. I remembered last time after I filled the pans so I had to put the batter back in the bowls, wash the pans and refill them after greasing and flouring them.

They came out. Fortunately, they were in springform pans. Because the oven is slightly uneven, the layers are also, and the thinner side is slightly overdone on both layers. I'm going to have to start baking layers one at a time smack in the center even though t takes longer.

I realize this is not the baking topic, but my memory and the oven unevenness are both peeves.

Edited February 3, 2018 by auntlada
Add results.

[DeLurker]

I hate how everything is now a "hack". 

[Bastet]

2 minutes ago, DeLurker said:

I hate how everything is now a "hack". 

Ugh, yes.  You hack at something difficult to cut through, you're called a hack if your writing sucks, or you hack into a computer system you're not supposed to access.  But bleating about a "life hack" because you've come upon a technique that makes performing a task easier?  No.  Go away.

[harrie]

22 hours ago, walnutqueen said:

Led Zeppelin played a FREE noontime concert at my high school.  I cannot tell a lie.  Eric Hamber High - look it up.

 

Dang, I think that trumps my attending The High School That Rocked!  Very cool.

[ABay]

My pet peeve of the day is the use of "passed" instead of passed away or died. 

[auntlada]

I don't even care for "passed away" really. What's wrong with saying someone died? It's what happened. "Passed away" doesn't make the person come back.

"Passed" and "passed away" are both better than "lost," though. Whenever anyone says, "I lost my father," (or whoever), I want to say, "Well, we'd better look for him, then."

[bilgistic]

You can blame me for "they passed". I'm not religious, but I believe in other planes of existence and/or some form of life beyond this current one. So when I say someone "passed", I mean they/their essence/the "soul" literally passed over into/onto another realm/plane. I believe in the principle in physics that energy doesn't die; it just changes form (and ghosts are stuck between planes). In other words, beings go somewhere after physical death. (Just not to sit by a giant white-bearded man in the sky.)

Which is not to say I don't say someone died. I do. I just tend to use "passed".

I also believe we're in some concept of "hell" now, but that's another conversation.

[Bastet]

2 hours ago, auntlada said:

I don't even care for "passed away" really.

I don't either.  It's not annoying to my ear (or eye), but I prefer "died" for the accuracy and clarity. 

2 hours ago, auntlada said:

Whenever anyone says, "I lost my father," (or whoever), I want to say, "Well, we'd better look for him, then."

I truly love this.

Edited February 4, 2018 by Bastet

[Guest]

16 minutes ago, auntlada said:

I don't even care for "passed away" really. What's wrong with saying someone died? It's what happened. "Passed away" doesn't make the person come back.

"Passed" and "passed away" are both better than "lost," though. Whenever anyone says, "I lost my father," (or whoever), I want to say, "Well, we'd better look for him, then."

Its not really a great time for me to enter into this conversation.  Anniversaries and all that.

But people use the words to describe the death of the loved one that is the least terrible to deal with or conveys how they feel.

To me "lost" conveys the pain that the person whose loved one died is feeling.

"Passed away" might be the way they need to say it to avoid becoming a sobbing mess at saying the person they loved died.

9 minutes ago, Bastet said:

I truly love this.

I really don't.

[Katy M]

1 hour ago, auntlada said:

Whenever anyone says, "I lost my father," (or whoever), I want to say, "Well, we'd better look for him, then."

No offense, but that's kind of awful.  obviously if someone's father (or whoever) just died, they're upset, and they ought to be able to use whatever word they want to in order to convey that.  I do usually just say died, but that doesn't mean that's for everyone.

[BookWoman56]

I personally prefer "died" but I know that some people prefer other terms, even though I fail to understand how saying you lost your relative or your relative passed away is supposed to be easier to deal with than saying your relative died. Your relative is still dead, no matter what euphemism you use to say so. I'm certainly  not going to tell someone who's grieving how to express their pain; as long as I understand what they mean, I will simply tell them that I am sorry for their loss. However, my objection to using the term "passed" instead of "passed away" is that the meaning is not necessarily clear.  For example, back in my college days, we had a week of finals and a few friends and acquaintances were concerned about their grades, and couple of them were at risk of failing the course. So, the following week, around the time final grades were published, I ran into one of them who announced that her cousin had passed. I had never met this cousin, but assumed she meant her cousin had passed whatever course, and so offered my congratulations. Only, it turned out her cousin had died. How the hell was I supposed to know that? She didn't sound especially upset or anything, more just a calm matter-of-fact tone, and given the overall context of the situation, even if she'd sounded upset when she said her cousin passed, I'd have assumed that she disliked her cousin and was annoyed that she passed a course. 

ETA: There's a difference between wanting to say something that might be considered insensitive and actually saying it.  I have frequently been in conversations with someone where I want to say, "Holy fuck, you are as dumb as a box of rocks," but I don't actually say it. As long as the thought stays within someone's mind rather than being spoken aloud, I don't see that the thought needs to be judged.  And just to play devil's advocate here, when a person says that he or she "lost" someone, again it's not always clear if the person means there has been a death or that someone has wandered off.  My mother has some days where she gets confused easily and a couple of times my sister has taken her out somewhere, only for my mother to wander away. My sister has had to state to a few people that she lost her mother, and sometimes she's had to clarify that no, she doesn't mean her mother died but her mother is literally lost.  

Edited February 4, 2018 by BookWoman56

[bilgistic]

My former niece (my sister's ex-husband's oldest daughter) got engaged over Christmas. She and her fiance have been together four years and recently bought a house together. She's 25 and is a dental hygienist. She seems so young.

She and her fiance are not getting married until December, an entire year after getting engaged. She posted on Facebook that she's gotten her dress. I get that people plan elaborate weddings, but I imagine hers will be some kind of hipster-country theme that everyone is doing now (Mason jars, a barn, Edison lights). It takes a year to plan? Really?

The entire concept is so completely foreign to me as a 43-year-old so very single woman. My sister's wedding in 2005 is the last one I attended, and she's now divorced. It was a very simple affair in a hotel with a lot of help from us, her family. The hotel provided nothing but the space. I did the invitations and programs. Even as low-key as it was, it was still way too much for me.

The fact that there's an entire industry devoted to weddings perplexes me, especially considering that half of all marriages end in divorce.* I just can't wrap my head around it, and even typing the word "fiance" earlier gave me anxiety.

*Everyone in my immediate family is divorced--both sisters and mother (remarried to my stepdad, who was divorced).

Edited February 4, 2018 by bilgistic

[Guest]

You know what, never mind.

Edited February 4, 2018 by ParadoxLost

[Bastet]

The wedding in which I will reluctantly be the maid of honor this summer is a fairly simple one (at a local country club, so largely self-contained; they need a photographer, a cake, flowers [the venue staff will transfer what they have at the ceremony to the reception tables, so that's what they're going to go with] , and to provide the music [they know a piano player who'll provide background music during dinner, and then they'll just pop an iPod into the venue's stereo system], but everything else is part of the package) and the bride's requests of me are as well - pick a dress, spend a spa day with her and her sister (the other bridesmaid) the day before, come to the rehearsal that evening (and, if I would please in order to help keep her sane although she'll completely understand if I develop a convenient brief malady, attend the rehearsal dinner with her family and the groom's family after that - I'm going, but possibly with a pill on top of the wine), endure the wedding and photos, and do my part at the (open, top-shelf included) bar at the reception to make sure they hit the minimum they had to agree to in order to get Saturday rather than Friday night), and I cannot imagine being part of something fussier. 

They got engaged in '15, bought a house in '16, picked a date and venue summer of '17, and then jack all has happened until recently.  And all that consisted of was picking her dress, starting early in case she had trouble finding something.  I think she's getting ready to send save-the-date emails, and then invitations next month or so.  The rest we'll do in April, and then turn up at the ceremony in June.  It's all more work than I'd put in even if I did ever get married (not going to happen), but so much simpler than so much of what's out there.  An old friend of mine, whom I generally only see once a year as part of a group, is a wedding planner/coordinator/whatever, and her stories blow my mind.

It's not really a peeve if I'm not involved, and even then I'd have had the option to bow out - you do you, as they say - but that's what the conversation made me think of.

Edited February 4, 2018 by Bastet

[ratgirlagogo]

45 minutes ago, BookWoman56 said:

I personally prefer "died" but I know that some people prefer other terms,

I also prefer "died" but I always want to respect whatever term the immediate survivors prefer.  A big one among my black friends is "transitioned" WHICH I REALLY HATE but like I said, respecting the survivors' feelings comes first for me.  But (I would only admit to you all here) it's a PEEVE for me.

Edited February 4, 2018 by ratgirlagogo

[Blergh]

I dislike the term 'expired' for a loved one dying- as though someone forgot to throw out a carton of milk or return a library book in time!  I like to say 'no longer in this world' (and I hope no one is thinking that they've become astronauts or have been abducted by UFOs).

[backformore]

I didn't start to hear "passed" instead of "passed away"  until a few years ago, and the first couple of times I heard it, it took me a minute to understand.   "Passed"  has too many alternate meanings that it's not always clear.  I do think it's regional, though.    I always say "died".  

Edited February 4, 2018 by backformore

[auntlada]

It's 7 a.m., and I think we've already hit the high for today.

[SunnyBeBe]

20 hours ago, BookWoman56 said:

I usually won't completely blow off a restaurant based on one bad experience; it could be that the regular cooks/wait staff are out sick and replacements had to be brought in at the last minute, or a couple of people are just not firing on all cylinders today and things got fucked up. For a restaurant that I had never visited previously, I'll give it one more try and if it's disappointing again, then it goes on my list of restaurants not to visit again. For a restaurant that I have visited previously and enjoyed, I'll give them at least a couple of more chances, and if the disappointment continues, wait 6 months or so before going again. There have been a few exceptions; one visit to a particular Chinese restaurant in my city was enough to convince me never to eat there again, despite the fact that it was a popular restaurant.  And I swore off an entire chain of restaurants for a year after two very bad experiences in a row involving under-cooked (almost raw in the center) poultry and potatoes; I have revisited the chain (not the same exact location) recently and what I ordered was fine, but if I order a poultry dish from them again, I will be sure to test out the middle before actually eating any of it. 

I basically figure that every restaurant/business is going to have a bad day once in a while, but if it's a pattern, then I'm out of there.

ETA actual pet peeve: Cable/internet service providers who can't seem to do what they're supposed to do. I've mentioned elsewhere that I had my son, DIL, and grandson living with me for roughly a year after they relocated from overseas; when I bought my new house back in late July, I set up cable, internet, and landline service. The cable service was more for the benefit of my son and his family, as neither my daughter nor I watch much TV. I watch various shows via Netflix and so forth. So, now that my son and his family are in their own house, with their own cable service, I called my cable provider the middle of January to remove my cable service. I told him I was not using the TV at all, neither the regular cable nor the HBO/Cinemax package.  (We do watch a few HBO shows but can get those via Amazon, and since I don't watch Cinemax at all, the price for HBO at Amazon is roughly half of what I'm currently paying for the cable HBO/Cinemax package.) So, customer service rep explained that it would actually be cheaper to just downgrade to the lowest tier of cable, so that I would retain my "bundle" discounts for cable, plus internet, plus land line. I agree to that; he puts in the order; and I foolishly think we're done. So, FF until a couple of days ago, when I get my new bill. Yes, the cable has been downgraded, but the HBO/Cinemax package is still there. WTF? I specifically asked for it to be removed at the same time that the regular cable package was downgraded.  Because it was not, I had to do a live chat (which I'm grateful for that option as opposed to a phone call), but it took about 20 minutes for the new customer service rep to understand that no, I wasn't asking to cancel the cable entirely, but just to remove the HBO/Cinemax package that should have been removed mid-January. It's finally done, but they are giving me credit only from yesterday forward in this billing cycle for the HBO/Cinemax charge. I don't feel I should have to pay for half a month of a service I had asked them to remove, but didn't have the energy yesterday to escalate the billing issue.  I'll give it a couple of days, then call in or chat with someone else to see if I can get credit for the correct number of days.

I second the PEEVE with major cable companies.  A couple of months ago I made OFFICE VISIT to the local Spectrum office, formerly Time Warner Cable.  I wanted to discuss it eye to eye, because their reps are unreliable to say the least by phone.   I asked office rep what would the monthly come down to if I  take off one feature from my existing service.  I have Cable, Internet and Phone.  What if I delete the phone?  She looks it up.....so, that would mean an INCREASE OF $30.00 PER MONTH, assuming everything else stays the same!!!!!!  lol  I'm NOT kidding. So, I'm keeping the same service. She explained that I had a TWC deal and that I get the same thing with Spectrum, even though they are one and the same, I would pay more.  Is this crazy or what? 

[theredhead77]

I've been with T-Mobile for over a decade. Around the time I moved I also stopped getting all my text messages. I realized it after a friend sent me a FB message of a string of messages I didn't reply to. I Googled and this is an issue all over the internet. T-Mobile can't figure out what is wrong (they "opened a ticket") and said I need a new SIM (a $25 charge they are waiving) or a new phone. Uh, no.

I'm looking at hopping providers but everyone is so expensive compared to the ancient plan I have, especially since my phone is 'paid off'. I'm looking at porting my number to Google Voice and forwarding to my work phone for the time being. Anyone have experience with porting a number to GV then forwarding that number to a cell phone? https://www.howtogeek.com/92075/how-to-port-your-phone-number-to-google-voice/

[Guest]

How many people does it take to buy a light bulb?

Spoiler

Three.  Me, the sales associate, and the more senior sales associate the sales associate asks for help

How many people does it take to for the person I'm waiting behind to buy a light bulb?

Spoiler

Four. The shopper, the sales associate, the senior sales associate who is more of an expert, the spouse at home who is tasked to take a picture for a visual search because the code is not enough.

The fact that everyone brought the exact specification to be used should be enough to find a light bulb, shouldn't it?  Its not.

I don't want to even talk about what it costs to buy 25 lightbulbs.

[peacheslatour]

"To lose one parent, Mr Worthing, may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose both looks like carelessness."

[SunnyBeBe]

Peeve:  When the person in line ahead of me ALWAYS seems to have a complicated issue, long story, multiple staff required, etc.  And there I stand with a 15 second matter.  lol

[Tanichka]

29 minutes ago, SunnyBeBe said:

Peeve:  When the person in line ahead of me ALWAYS seems to have a complicated issue, long story, multiple staff required, etc.  And there I stand with a 15 second matter.  lol

I hear ya!  And why did they do away with separate Return and Bill Payment areas?  

[SunnyBeBe]

I have no idea why they do anything and seemingly neither do they.  I've noticed there is no real independent thought.  Few employees think anything through, reason or even think about problem solving.  When I was in college and they said the most important thing that we would learn in college is independent thinking, I laughed. I thought that was silly.  I mean, who can't do that..............NOW, I get it.  It's a rare skill now. Maybe, it always was. 

Edited February 4, 2018 by SunnyBeBe

[Wings]

I do self check oit at the grocery and Home Depot but NEVER Walmart!  Once was enough.  

[SunnyBeBe]

I've had to do self check out at Walmart, because the lines were so long and not many were lanes open.  I actually didn't have a problem with it, but, finding anyone who knows anything is a chore.  If you call, no one answers, in person no one knows anything.  Don't ask if they carry an item, they'll say no and then you'll run across it. lol I check online, but, that means nothing. 

  It's a pretty big cluster at the one I frequent.  I swear I'll not return, but,  I do.  MAIN Pet peeve.  EMPTY shelves.  They are out of so many products each week that it really annoys me.  It's gotten ridiculous.  This week out of alcohol swabs (second week they've been completely out.),  Golden Peach water, blueberry yogurt (my brand), Skinny Girl popcorn, my brand fish fillets  and they were almost out of my brand of bar soap, my Free and Clear detergent, my brand sliced turkey and my brand green beans.  I mean.....it's beyond bizarre.  

Edited February 4, 2018 by SunnyBeBe

[Katy M]

1 hour ago, forumfish said:

I have gone to the staffed checkout and the employee has overcharged me (usually by ringing up one item twice or more because they are in a hurry) and then hit "total" before I could correct their error. Then my only recourse has been to go stand in line at the overcrowded customer service desk.

I wouldn't pay until they fixed it.  If I had already swiped my card, (which I also wouldn't do until I saw the total), I wouldn't get out of line until they called a supervisor over and fixed it.

[peacheslatour]

It's Wal-Mart. You get what you pay for.

[DeLurker]

4 hours ago, peacheslatour said:

"To lose one parent, Mr Worthing, may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose both looks like carelessness."

I had to look that one up.  I knew I knew it, but was almost certain it was from The Willoughby's (Lois Lowry - a delightful book).  I've read The Willoughby;s more recently than Oscar Wilde.

[Moose135]

22 hours ago, auntlada said:

"Passed" and "passed away" are both better than "lost," though. Whenever anyone says, "I lost my father," (or whoever), I want to say, "Well, we'd better look for him, then."

I'm OK with passed or passed away, but I agree, lost just doesn't work for me.  I first remember snarking on it when Dale Earnhardt was killed in the Daytona 500 - he had a serious wreck on the last lap, rescue crews removed him from the car, and was transported to a nearby hospital.  A NASCAR official went on TV a short time later, and said "Following the wreck on the last lap, we lost Dale Earnhardt."  My first thought was "What, did he fall out of the ambulance on the way to the hospital???"

[theredhead77]

When I go to the meat / seafood counter at the grocery store and ask for a pound of something it doesn't mean pull out 2 pounds and ask me if that's OK. This happens every time at my primary grocery store, from the same person. I certainly don't expect perfection from the firsts grab but seriously, I asked for a pound, don't ask me if the weight is OK until you get to at least 1.25lbs and even that is pushing it. I asked for 6 scallops (the big ones) and he grabbed a huge handful that was nearly 3lbs and asked if that was OK. I said I only need 6. I totally would have taken 8 but not 2lbs which was way more than I need.

And when I bring my own bags and instead of the cashier placing them in the area where they bag groceries, they push the bags off to the side and don't start bagging until the end. Of course I feel bad and start bagging them up. If I didn't bring my bags they would scan and put the item right into the plastic bag.

After this last trip I left feedback on the survey. I wasn't in the mood to talk with the manager at the time.

[auntlada]

6 hours ago, peacheslatour said:

"To lose one parent, Mr Worthing, may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose both looks like carelessness."

I had forgotten this line. I played Gwendolyn in high school.

[DeLurker]

Sibling peeve:  My oldest brother and I meet for coffee on Fridays.  If I order my own latte, the guy who usually is working there always puts a nice heart or leaf design on the top of mine.  If my brother orders it and the guy does not see me, no design.

The latte foam art is probably a factor that gets him better tips, but I appreciate the effort and blame my brother when I don't get this small perk.

[Zola]

8 minutes ago, DeLurker said:

Sibling peeve:  My oldest brother and I meet for coffee on Fridays.  If I order my own latte, the guy who usually is working there always puts a nice heart or leaf design on the top of mine.  If my brother orders it and the guy does not see me, no design.

The latte foam art is probably a factor that gets him better tips, but I appreciate the effort and blame my brother when I don't get this small perk.

My local independent coffee shop does something similar with my lattes. On nearly every visit he designs something new with my frothy coffee: could be leaves, trees, sunshine, rainbows etc. He even managed a mobile phone. a candle. a handbag, feathers and a knife and fork. 

Such intricate and perfect designs - I felt really guilty stirring/drinking them away!

[Sun-Bun]

On 2/3/2018 at 9:43 PM, bilgistic said:

The fact that there's an entire industry devoted to weddings perplexes me, especially considering that half of all marriages end in divorce.* I just can't wrap my head around it, and even typing the word "fiance" earlier gave me anxiety.

Lord, preach on!! I go to 1-3 weddings per year((multiple nieces/nephews and friends)), and as fun as they are for me, I'm always beyond shocked by just how much money and effort was sunk into these stupidly crazy elaborate parties for folks who aren't even rich. 

In the ten years I've been with my husband we've seen at least three of those couples whose huge wedding ceremonies we attended split up...and I'm willing to bet each couple paid *at least* 25,000k on their own wedding days...what a waste!

I've never been a big wedding type and am always baffled by the women who seemingly dream of being a big royal bride for a day, taking away precious hours of their lives picking out tablecloth colors, invitations, cakes, flowers, dresses, DJ's/bands, etc...way too much time, effort and money for me, but to each her peach, eh?

If I'd had my way, my husband and I simply would've eloped in Vegas, cheesy Elvis chapel and all. Turns out my husband was a closet groomzilla and wanted at least a few folks there((his first wedding 15 years earlier had cost them $35,000k)), so I relented enough to agree to him planning out a beachside wedding in St. Thomas and we allowed anyone to join us who wanted to via a Facebook invite. I found a practically new Betsey Johnson cocktail dress on eBay for $150, while he opted for a seersucker suit from a consignment shop. We had a handful of family/friends, partied it up on the beach and then a nearby beach restaurant for our reception, used the next 4 days as our honeymoon and probably spent a total of $3000 when all was said and done...and even *that* seemed way too extravagant for my tastes, but it made him so happy to plan everything out for us that it made the effort worth it.

Over ten years later though and I'm still so glad he talked me into our 'fancy' wedding. ;)

[DeLurker]

@Sun-Bun - I would have been pleased to attend your wedding - sounds pretty close to ideal!

[MrSmith]

12 hours ago, theredhead77 said:

And when I bring my own bags and instead of the cashier placing them in the area where they bag groceries, they push the bags off to the side and don't start bagging until the end.

I wish that they wouldn't bag my groceries at all. I put things on the conveyor belt organized such that cold things get bagged with cold things. Inevitably, when they start bagging my stuff, cold stuff gets spread out across the bags. They do other dumb stuff, too, but this is my main complaint.

[MargeGunderson]

Peeve:  when the barista puts too much vanilla in my latte. I only want one pump of vanilla, not the 14 pumps that is the standard. That's why I say "just one pump of vanilla." The regular baristas know me and only put in one pump. The new barista has ignored it for the last week (and I watch the person at the register write the correct order on the cup). This morning I caught it after I left and went back for a replacement, which he was perfectly nice about, but just read the cup! I only get 1 fancy coffee a week so I want it to be right. 

If you look up "first world problem" in the dictionary, my picture is next to the entry. 

[ZaldamoWilder]

2 hours ago, Sun-Bun said:

Lord, preach on!! I go to 1-3 weddings per year((multiple nieces/nephews and friends)), and as fun as they are for me, I'm always beyond shocked by just how much money and effort was sunk into these stupidly crazy elaborate parties for folks who aren't even rich. 

In the ten years I've been with my husband we've seen at least three of those couples whose huge wedding ceremonies we attended split up...and I'm willing to bet each couple paid *at least* 25,000k on their own wedding days...what a waste!

I've never been a big wedding type and am always baffled by the women who seemingly dream of being a big royal bride for a day, taking away precious hours of their lives picking out tablecloth colors, invitations, cakes, flowers, dresses, DJ's/bands, etc...way too much time, effort and money for me, but to each her peach, eh?

If I'd had my way, my husband and I simply would've eloped in Vegas, cheesy Elvis chapel and all. Turns out my husband was a closet groomzilla and wanted at least a few folks there((his first wedding 15 years earlier had cost them $35,000k)), so I relented enough to agree to him planning out a beachside wedding in St. Thomas and we allowed anyone to join us who wanted to via a Facebook invite. I found a practically new Betsey Johnson cocktail dress on eBay for $150, while he opted for a seersucker suit from a consignment shop. We had a handful of family/friends, partied it up on the beach and then a nearby beach restaurant for our reception, used the next 4 days as our honeymoon and probably spent a total of $3000 when all was said and done...and even *that* seemed way too extravagant for my tastes, but it made him so happy to plan everything out for us that it made the effort worth it.

Over ten years later though and I'm still so glad he talked me into our 'fancy' wedding. ;)

Awwwww.  I love that story.    Love that idea too.    I can't keep up with the trend of offense though - are people still complaining that destination weddings are rude?  Because in my head this is exactly what I wanna do if I ever get the chance.   

 

24 minutes ago, MargeGunderson said:

Peeve:  when the barista puts too much vanilla in my latte. I only want one pump of vanilla, not the 14 pumps that is the standard. That's why I say "just one pump of vanilla." The regular baristas know me and only put in one pump. The new barista has ignored it for the last week (and I watch the person at the register write the correct order on the cup). This morning I caught it after I left and went back for a replacement, which he was perfectly nice about, but just read the cup! I only get 1 fancy coffee a week so I want it to be right. 

If you look up "first world problem" in the dictionary, my picture is next to the entry. 

LMAO!!!! 

A few weeks ago I got a deli sandwich - got back to my desk and unwrapped it and the bread corners didn't match.   Not shape to shape didn't, I mean one slice was rounded end facing north the other was face down, southbound - picture a wonder bread 69 if you will lol.   I brought it back, handed it to dude and he (angrily) asked me what was wrong with it.   My co-lunch-hunters (all strangers) at the counter shouted it out before I could say anything.   If you were walking by, youd've heard a chorus of:  doesn't match!  not corner to corner!  bread's upside down!   head to feet!   I kinda love NYC sometimes.  Lol.    I also reiterated that I wanted mayo on the side not on the sandwich so he would've had to remake it anyway.   I know he wanted to throw the whole thing at my head.   Marge?  I say all that to say, I'd love to sit next to you on the peeve bus, any day of the week Lol!!  

[Sun-Bun]

11 minutes ago, ZaldamoWilder said:

Awwwww.  I love that story.    Love that idea too.    I can't keep up with the trend of offense though - are people still complaining that destination weddings are rude?  Because in my head this is exactly what I wanna do if I ever get the chance. 

Thanks so much, @DeLurker and @ZaldamoWilder!! And yes, I cannot recommend destination weddings more((easy come, easy go)), expecially if you stress up front to all guests that you understand if they can't make it but if they can, you appreciate their presence but the travel expenses are *their* responsibility. Now some couples can either offer their guests a discount at the nearest hotel or some are just rich enough to take care of a few close family/friends, but we certainly couldn't afford either option and figured that the people who genuinely cared about us the most would make a point to be there((and they were)).

 

Which reminds me of another pet peeve of mine---bachelorette parties!!! I had several girlfriends offer to toss one for me, which I quickly nixed in favor of everyone enjoying several tastefully inclusive engagement parties.

Just the idea of screeching around downtown covered in stupid sashes and penis necklaces and getting endless shots poured down one's throat is a nightmare scenario; after age 28 it just seems extra sad. There's just something a little creepy and weird about the whole group mentality of bachelorette parties; my city is one of the top bachelorette party places in the country, and they've gradually gained a reputation as being more of a nuisance than a revenue-booster. Noisy, annoying women clogging up all the streets, peddle taverns and bar stools, trashing up local AirB&B's, infesting gay clubs with their gross behavior(like grabbing men's asses/crotches and copping feels of drag queens)....there are several bars/tours that have actually banned them because the women often act so obnoxious and insane---go figure, bachelor parties are considered far more manageable and more welcome than all the squawking bachelorettes!

[DeLurker]

1 hour ago, MargeGunderson said:

Peeve:  when the barista puts too much vanilla in my latte. I only want one pump of vanilla, not the 14 pumps that is the standard. That's why I say "just one pump of vanilla." The regular baristas know me and only put in one pump. The new barista has ignored it for the last week (and I watch the person at the register write the correct order on the cup). This morning I caught it after I left and went back for a replacement, which he was perfectly nice about, but just read the cup! I only get 1 fancy coffee a week so I want it to be right. 

If you look up "first world problem" in the dictionary, my picture is next to the entry. 

I was thrilled when I found out I could order a 2-pump mocha. 

30 minutes ago, ZaldamoWilder said:

 

A few weeks ago I got a deli sandwich - got back to my desk and unwrapped it and the bread corners didn't match.   Not shape to shape didn't, I mean one slice was rounded end facing north the other was face down, southbound - picture a wonder bread 69 if you will lol.   I brought it back, handed it to dude and he (angrily) asked me what was wrong with it.   My co-lunch-hunters (all strangers) at the counter shouted it out before I could say anything.   If you were walking by, youd've heard a chorus of:  doesn't match!  not corner to corner!  bread's upside down!   head to feet!   I kinda love NYC sometimes.  Lol.    I also reiterated that I wanted mayo on the side not on the sandwich so he would've had to remake it anyway.   I know he wanted to throw the whole thing at my head.   Marge?  I say all that to say, I'd love to sit next to you on the peeve bus, any day of the week Lol!!  

I wouldn't be ordering from that place again - counter guy sounds like he'll hold a grudge and spit in your sandwich next time.  But in what world do you mismatch bread?

[ZaldamoWilder]

8 minutes ago, Sun-Bun said:

Thanks so much, @DeLurker and @ZaldamoWilder!! And yes, I cannot recommend destination weddings more((easy come, easy go)), expecially if you stress up front to all guests that you understand if they can't make it but if they can, you appreciate their presence but the travel expenses are *their* responsibility. Now some couples can either offer their guests a discount at the nearest hotel or some are just rich enough to take care of a few close family/friends, but we certainly couldn't afford either option and figured that the people who genuinely cared about us the most would make a point to be there((and they were)).

 

Which reminds me of another pet peeve of mine---bachelorette parties!!! I had several girlfriends offer to toss one for me, which I quickly nixed in favor of everyone enjoying several tastefully inclusive engagement parties.

Just the idea of screeching around downtown covered in stupid sashes and penis necklaces and getting endless shots poured down one's throat is a nightmare scenario; after age 28 it just seems extra sad. There's just something a little creepy and weird about the whole group mentality of bachelorette parties; my city is one of the top bachelorette party places in the country, and they've gradually gained a reputation as being more of a nuisance than a revenue-booster. Noisy, annoying women clogging up all the streets, peddle taverns and bar stools, trashing up local AirB&B's, infesting gay clubs with their gross behavior(like grabbing men's asses/crotches and copping feels of drag queens)....there are several bars/tours that have actually banned them because the women often act so obnoxious and insane---go figure, bachelor parties are considered far more manageable and more welcome than all the squawking bachelorettes!

Sold.   I'm either being really obtuse or really insensitive or both.   Not long ago, I saw a response to this subject on the internet and I laughed so hard I committed it to memory for future use:   

Original Poster "she knows I can't afford to take that much time off work (a weekend) for an expensive trip to fly down just for her wedding! Am I being unreasonable?" 

1/2 way down the thread, I read this:  "bitch, it's a wedding, not a subpoena"

 

The bachelorette party isn't usually my scene either.  It depends on what we're doing.  But noisy, wasted, crotch grabbers - I get it.  It's much more of a novelty for women andplusalso, there's an excuse.    A 30 year old man falling down drunk in a tiddie bar is just a pretty good Saturday night.  Lol. 

 

4 minutes ago, DeLurker said:

I was thrilled when I found out I could order a 2-pump mocha. 

I wouldn't be ordering from that place again - counter guy sounds like he'll hold a grudge and spit in your sandwich next time.  But in what world do you mismatch bread?

Entirely my fault.  NYC FiDi area at 12:30 in the afternoon.  He doesn't have time for precious snowflakes like me with 18 people on line.  :D

[Katy M]

12 minutes ago, ZaldamoWilder said:

Original Poster "she knows I can't afford to take that much time off work (a weekend) for an expensive trip to fly down just for her wedding! Am I being unreasonable?" 

My sister got married and it wasn't really that destinationy, but I don't live close to her. So, anyway, she got married in an out-of-the way rural spot in her state, which is fine.  But, the weekend she got married wasn't a good one for me to take a 4 day weekend.  What with having to change planes, and then drive a couple of hours, it was going to take me 12 hours to get there (and back), so I ended up skipping my own sister's wedding.  Which didn't go down well, as you may imagine.  I did try pointing out I went to her first wedding, (which was destination), but that got me no points, of course.

[ZaldamoWilder]

1 minute ago, Katy M said:

My sister got married and it wasn't really that destinationy, but I don't live close to her. So, anyway, she got married in an out-of-the way rural spot in her state, which is fine.  But, the weekend she got married wasn't a good one for me to take a 4 day weekend.  What with having to change planes, and then drive a couple of hours, it was going to take me 12 hours to get there (and back), so I ended up skipping my own sister's wedding.  Which didn't go down well, as you may imagine.  I did try pointing out I went to her first wedding, (which was destination), but that got me no points, of course.

Awwww, I think that's extenuating though.  Close family, you can't make it that weekend.  Bless your heart, you still sound as though you feel bad for missing it, not so much that she had the nerve to have it someplace out of the way.   The group of peevers I'm really referring to are unrelated guests offended by the idea that you're *forcing* them to bear any expense.

[TattleTeeny]

On 2/3/2018 at 6:24 PM, DeLurker said:

I hate how everything is now a "hack". 

I hate this too--so much! Especially when said "hack" requires equal or more, time, money, energy, and/or trips to a store than the "regular" way does! That is not a hack! 

Edited February 5, 2018 by TattleTeeny

[Bastet]

3 hours ago, ZaldamoWilder said:

I can't keep up with the trend of offense though - are people still complaining that destination weddings are rude?

I think it would only be rude if the couple got ticked when most people declined, having other plans for their money and vacation days.  I figure some who have destination weddings do so in part so they can fulfill their supposed obligation to invite certain people, knowing they won't actually show up -- win/win.