Pet Peeves: Aka Things That Make You Go "Gah!"

[EtheltoTillie]

I mostly hear "classy" as an insult for when you see uncouth behavior.

[Is Everyone Gone]

57 minutes ago, EtheltoTillie said:

I have to say I haven't encountered this one.  Thankfully.  Are you hearing it a lot? 

Yes. Like Melania Trump is so "classy" compared to Michelle Obama, European players like Luka Doncic and Nikola Jokic are "classy" compared to Lebron, and so on. It's very popular in alt-right circles.

[PRgal]

It could be regional?  Like the whole "gentrification" issue I have.  That said, I'm still waiting for a cha chaan teng that is really, truly upscale and not just mid-range (in the downtown Toronto area, anyway).  If they made burgers upscale, I don't see why they haven't yet done that here, like they have with dim sum.  I get the vibe that it's gatekeeping.  

[Is Everyone Gone]

14 minutes ago, PRgal said:

It could be regional?  Like the whole "gentrification" issue I have.  That said, I'm still waiting for a cha chaan teng that is really, truly upscale and not just mid-range (in the downtown Toronto area, anyway).  If they made burgers upscale, I don't see why they haven't yet done that here, like they have with dim sum.  I get the vibe that it's gatekeeping.  

No. It has nothing to do with that. It absolutely has become a racist dog whistle popular among the alt-right circuits.

[isalicat]

2 hours ago, Is Everyone Gone said:

Yes. Like Melania Trump is so "classy" compared to Michelle Obama, European players like Luka Doncic and Nikola Jokic are "classy" compared to Lebron, and so on. It's very popular in alt-right circles.

Why are you hanging out in "alt-right circles" if this sort of talk (which I would agree is clearly racist) offends you? (as it should)

[PRgal]

Sometimes, I feel like I’m from a very different world and view things from a very different light.  Is it just me?  Is it neurodivergence?

[partofme]

15 minutes ago, isalicat said:

Why are you hanging out in "alt-right circles" if this sort of talk (which I would agree is clearly racist) offends you? (as it should)

You don’t have to hang out in alt right circles to see this.  I’ve seen the first comparison on line and I never read anything remotely right wing.  Not only is the comparison laughable but blatantly racist.  

Edited February 27 by partofme

[Anela]

3 minutes ago, partofme said:

You don’t have to hang out in alt right circles to see this.  I’ve seen the first comparison on line and I never read anything remotely right wing.  Not only is the comparison laughable but blatantly racist.  

I’ve seen it, too.  I’ve also seen it used sarcastically, as in “stay classy 🙄”.

[Is Everyone Gone]

1 hour ago, isalicat said:

Why are you hanging out in "alt-right circles" if this sort of talk (which I would agree is clearly racist) offends you? (as it should)

I have some very MAGA facebook friends who post this stuff constantly. 

[Spartan Girl]

Today I was chatting with a coworker about how I cancelled lunch plans with a new friend because she was sick. Coworker suddenly asks if I volunteered to bring soup or whatever to said friend, which I felt was a weird question. When I said no, she wanted to know why.

Uh, well, because I’ve barely known this girl that long and even if she did, she had her own family to run errands for her if she needs it. If I didn’t volunteer to do that, that doesn’t make me a bad person or a bad friend, does it?

I’m sorry, but people who feel obligated to go so extra like that annoy me. And I don’t need to be back in a friendship where I go above and beyond for the person, that didn’t end so well for me.

Edited February 28 by Spartan Girl

[Dimity]

2 minutes ago, Spartan Girl said:

Coworker suddenly asks if I volunteered to bring soup or whatever to said friend, which I felt was a weird question. When I said no, she wanted to know why.

I have never once in my life ever brought soup to a sick friend.  I've also never asked anyone else if they brought soup to a sick friend.  This was definitely a very weird question!

[Bastet]

1 hour ago, Dimity said:

I have never once in my life ever brought soup to a sick friend.  I've also never asked anyone else if they brought soup to a sick friend.  This was definitely a very weird question!

I've done the first, but not the second -- because, yeah, that's weird as hell.  And then she asked why not?  What a wackadoodle.

[annzeepark914]

1 hour ago, Spartan Girl said:

Today I was chatting with a coworker about how I cancelled lunch plans with a new friend because she was sick. Coworker suddenly asks if I volunteered to bring soup or whatever to said friend, which I felt was a weird question. When I said no, she wanted to know why.

Uh, well, because I’ve barely known this girl that long and even if she did, she had her own family to run errands for her if she needs it. If I didn’t volunteer to do that, that doesn’t make me a bad person or a bad friend, does it?

I’m sorry, but people who feel obligated to go so extra like that annoy me. And I don’t need to be back in a friendship where I go above and beyond for the person, that didn’t end so well for me.

I would've said, "Because I can't afford to get sick".  There are some really bad strains of flu & pneumonia going around that are affecting people who had the vaccines.

[Absolom]

11 hours ago, Is Everyone Gone said:

My newest pet peeve is when people use the word "classy" as a thinly-disguised racist dog whistle. There is room for the word classy, but when "classy" becomes "white and pretty," it becomes annoying.

That's a new one for me.  I'll have to listen for it although I can't recall anyone using the word classy very often.

[annzeepark914]

9 hours ago, Absolom said:

That's a new one for me.  I'll have to listen for it although I can't recall anyone using the word classy very often.

I always associate the phrase, "Stay classy" with Will Farrell (playing Ron Burgundy in Anchorman). Never saw the movie, just clips. So, I'm surprised to learn that it's perceived by some as being racist.

[Dimity]

11 hours ago, Bastet said:

I've done the first, but not the second

I just realized I've brought groceries to a sick friend - most recently during Covid.  I think a lot of us did the drop it on the doorstep and run thing for friends and family who got Covid!  But I sure never had anyone tell me I should and cross examine me about it.  The more I think about it the more breathtakingly nervy I am finding it! 

[Spartan Girl]

12 minutes ago, Dimity said:

I just realized I've brought groceries to a sick friend - most recently during Covid.  I think a lot of us did the drop it on the doorstep and run thing for friends and family who got Covid!  But I sure never had anyone tell me I should and cross examine me about it.  The more I think about it the more breathtakingly nervy I am finding it! 

And the point is, I wouldn’t did any of those things for a friend unless they asked me. I did send a care package to a (now former) friend in Chicago when they had COVID, but that was only because it was Christmas.

I’m glad I’m not crazy for being so annoyed at this coworker “suggesting” I do thing things, then acting like I’m weird for not immediately volunteering to do it. It’s like Carrie Bradshaw expecting Charlotte to offer money to loan then getting mad when she doesn’t.

[StatisticalOutlier]

Many years ago I was really sick (it turned out to be pneumonia) and a not-very-close-to-me friend brought a bag with some beverages, probably like ginger ale or gatorade, and a bag of those little mandarin oranges, and I don't remember what else.  She left it on my doorstep.  I'm very much a self-sufficient loner and I thought it was a nice gesture.  Plus it introduced me to those little mandarin oranges, which I really like.

13 hours ago, Spartan Girl said:

Coworker suddenly asks if I volunteered to bring soup or whatever to said friend, which I felt was a weird question. When I said no, she wanted to know why.

I've found a guiding force in this one scene in Annie Hall when a young Woody Allen is at a gathering in his house and there's a friend of his parents named Joey Nichols who's telling Woody that he goes by Joey Five Cents because his name is Nichols, see?  Joey Five cents.  Get it?  Joey Five Cents.  Nichols, five cents.

As Woody walks away, he mutters to himself, "What an asshole."

 

[Is Everyone Gone]

Here's another pet peeve, maybe more relatable to people who live in big cities: I hate how real estate agents describe one-room studio closets without a kitchen as "cozy."

[Dimity]

Thanks to budget cuts the Ottawa School Board is phasing out alternative schools.  We always had our children in the alternative school and two of our grandchildren are in one now.  This really sucks.  At a time when they should be putting money into the schools they are being forced to take money out. 

[StatisticalOutlier]

On 2/27/2025 at 4:49 PM, Is Everyone Gone said:

I have some very MAGA facebook friends who post this stuff constantly. 

Serious question:  I gather you don't agree with it, so do you enjoy reading it anyway?

[Is Everyone Gone]

15 minutes ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

Serious question:  I gather you don't agree with it, so do you enjoy reading it anyway?

I actually like to read right wing talking points, just to see the difference in perception and also their attack points.

[Absolom]

20 hours ago, Bastet said:

I've done the first, but not the second -- because, yeah, that's weird as hell.  And then she asked why not?  What a wackadoodle.

Two or three appropriate responses: Why would you ask that? It's not your business.  She lives 15 miles away from me.  

[PRgal]

46 minutes ago, Dimity said:

Thanks to budget cuts the Ottawa School Board is phasing out alternative schools.  We always had our children in the alternative school and two of our grandchildren are in one now.  This really sucks.  At a time when they should be putting money into the schools they are being forced to take money out. 

I think things are still okay at the TDSB in Toronto.  For now.  However, there was a huge fuss about entrance requirements/priorities for specialized programs a few years back which gave priority to "underserved communities."  They don't use "racialized" or "non-White" or anything like that because East Asians aren't considered "underserved."  

Anyway, this is the website to apply for specialized programs:

https://www.tdsb.on.ca/Elementary-School/School-Choices/Elementary-Central-Student-Interest-Programs/Application-and-Admissions

[Blergh]

I know  the following is a First World Problem (and I know I can't solve it). ..

However, yesterday, I had to venture to a colleague's relative's remembrance service and it took place on a major road starting out in our residential urban county and then continuing to venue's  suburban county.

Anyway, I had trouble finding the venue because the road's street numbers 'flipped' from odd-numbered on right-hand of street/ even-numbered on left hand of street to vice versa the instant the road crossed the county line (and this was NOT mentioned in the online map I had pulled up).

Thankfully, I had given myself extra time in case I got lost (which I did) but I had circle back several times to find the venue before I 'got' that the numbers had been flipped.

Would someone tell me WHY they couldn't just keep the street numbering the same regardless of the street crossing  the county line? I mean, it's the SAME street and that street's name didn't get changed crossing that line!

Just venting. .

 

[Browncoat]

Peeve of the day:  Idiot scammers.  I got a text today, supposedly from a toll collection agency, claiming I'd gone through a toll booth and not paid the toll.  Nice try, assholes -- I live in a part of the world where there are no toll roads.

[Dimity]

6 minutes ago, Browncoat said:

Peeve of the day:  Idiot scammers.  I got a text today, supposedly from a toll collection agency, claiming I'd gone through a toll booth and not paid the toll.  Nice try, assholes -- I live in a part of the world where there are no toll roads.

I keep getting text messages from the Department of Transportation of Canada telling me I have unpaid parking tickets.  There is no  such department.  We do have a Transport Canada but (a) I think they know the name of their department and (b) they certainly don't have the slightest interest in parking tickets.

Edited Monday at 11:28 PM by Dimity

[Absolom]

Today I had calls from two different states each claiming I was trying to buy an Apple device and please call to confirm.  Yeah, I'll get right on that.  

[Ancaster]

I've had a couple of texts recently (one yesterday) from different numbers saying something like, "Hi!  How are you?  Let's get together and catch up."

They get reported as spam and blocked.

[isalicat]

On 3/3/2025 at 3:21 PM, Browncoat said:

Peeve of the day:  Idiot scammers.  I got a text today, supposedly from a toll collection agency, claiming I'd gone through a toll booth and not paid the toll.  Nice try, assholes -- I live in a part of the world where there are no toll roads.

Me too! No toll roads or bridges in my entire (rather large) county so at first I was thinking I had forgotten to pay last time I went up to the San Francisco Bay Area but then I realized it was a scam. What a lame try!

[Caoimhe]

Library cards. I'd like to get one so I can borrow ebooks from the library system which shouldn't require going near the actual building. But while I can apply for one online it can only be collected in person which is ridiculous, just mail it to me!

[meep.meep]

Mailing it would cost the library money.  Having you pick it up is free for them.

[SoMuchTV]

12 hours ago, Caoimhe said:

Library cards. I'd like to get one so I can borrow ebooks from the library system which shouldn't require going near the actual building. But while I can apply for one online it can only be collected in person which is ridiculous, just mail it to me!

 

8 minutes ago, meep.meep said:

Mailing it would cost the library money.  Having you pick it up is free for them.

Goodness! You’d think at this point they could just email/text you an image of it. My library card is a decade or two old, but when I check out a book in person, I can scan a photo of the card on my phone and it works just like the real thing. Or, I’m pretty sure I could enter the card # instead.

Is this a small library system that doesn’t have card scanners or self-service checkout? (I guess you may not even know that, since it sounds like you’re trying to avoid going in in person.)

My related peeve is that I have a card for my city’s system, and also one for the neighboring city where I used to work. I have online accounts for both and they appear to use the same software system. When my card comes up for renewal in neighboring city, I can renew it online, but in home city, I have to do it in person. Oh well, at least it’s not the other way around. 

[roseha]

As far as I know, my card from the New York Public Library has to be renewed in person every three years.  I mainly use it to download e-books, but now that you all mention it, I wonder if it will need to be renewed again soon...

Pet peeve, doesn't anyone make mixed nuts that aren't loaded with almonds?  I don't mind them generally but the skins are rather bitter and there are so many in the nuts I buy (even from nuts.com who are a great company) that it looks like 60 to 70 percent almonds in there.

[fastiller]

Current PP, again about people listening to their phone audio without headphones or ear buds. This time sitting at the bar at my local Vietnamese/Phó joint.  I just wanna eat my dinner & read my book in peace. Is that too much to ask for?

[Dimity]

12 hours ago, Caoimhe said:

Library cards. I'd like to get one so I can borrow ebooks from the library system which shouldn't require going near the actual building. But while I can apply for one online it can only be collected in person which is ridiculous, just mail it to me!

My library requires this as well.  Back when I worked in a public library the main reason this was required was you needed to prove your identity and, most importantly, prove you were a resident and entitled to use the library for free (non residents had to pay to join). 

What annoys me is that when I joined the library where I live now I did it online and had to provide proof of ID and address but still had to pick up the card in person.  They had the proof they needed so I'm not sure why this was still needed.

[StatisticalOutlier]

15 hours ago, fastiller said:

Current PP, again about people listening to their phone audio without headphones or ear buds. This time sitting at the bar at my local Vietnamese/Phó joint.  I just wanna eat my dinner & read my book in peace. Is that too much to ask for?

I posted elsewhere that back in the day, people would have been horrified if somebody brought a portable TV to a restaurant and set it on their table and started watching it with the sound on.  But that's basically what these goons are doing.

That's one reason I almost never eat in restaurants with table service--I end up moving probably one out of ten times I eat out because of somebody doing that, although sometimes it's impossible to get completely out of range.  It's so fucking rude.

And it's not just restaurants.  Standing in line is never fun, and standing in line while somebody watches someone on their phone with the sound on is extra not fun.

[Browncoat]

12 minutes ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

I posted elsewhere that back in the day, people would have been horrified if somebody brought a portable TV to a restaurant and set it on their table and started watching it with the sound on.  But that's basically what these goons are doing.

That's one reason I almost never eat in restaurants with table service--I end up moving probably one out of ten times I eat out because of somebody doing that, although sometimes it's impossible to get completely out of range.  It's so fucking rude.

And it's not just restaurants.  Standing in line is never fun, and standing in line while somebody watches someone on their phone with the sound on is extra not fun.

I was sitting somewhere -- airport, maybe? -- and someone sat next to me doing just that.  I have no idea what he was watching or playing, but it was quite annoying.  I very politely offered him my extra ear buds in case he'd lost his, and he actually apologized and attached his own ear buds.  Passive-aggressive for the win!

[StatisticalOutlier]

I was in a doctor's office last year and an old couple was watching some sort of home video on a phone--like a kid's birthday party or something.  I asked them if they could turn off the sound and the woman said it wasn't bothering anybody.

[Wiendish Fitch]

16 hours ago, fastiller said:

Current PP, again about people listening to their phone audio without headphones or ear buds. This time sitting at the bar at my local Vietnamese/Phó joint.  I just wanna eat my dinner & read my book in peace. Is that too much to ask for?

These people irritate me, too, but I'm also weirdly envious of them. I mean, they are just listening or watching whatever the hell they want on their phone... and they're not the least bit afraid that someone is going to ridicule them?

Like, at all?! 

I am north of 40, FFS, and I still live in abject terror of people making fun of me for what I watch or listen to! 

No fear or criticism or mockery? What is that like? What were these people's upbringings like? Did they not have siblings? Their school years must have been a damn breeze for them!

[Absolom]

58 minutes ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

I asked them if they could turn off the sound and the woman said it wasn't bothering anybody.

I can be a bit of a smart mouth and would probably have popped off with and you don't realize I'm asking you to shut it down because its driving me straight up the wall?!  You're bothering me, woman!  Yes, I can be quite blunt when people do stupid things and then say something stupider in defense.  

I've found joining them in their conversation or commenting on their video gives them a super big hint they are in public and shouldn't be doing what they're doing.  

I did that in the hospital waiting room the other day.  After my third comment, the guy looked at his wife and said I think she's trying to tell us something and it isn't all the helpful information.  I gave him a big smile and said you might just be right. The entire waiting room did not need to hear the details of his mother's condition.  They were even drowning out the TV they were talking so loudly.  

[Caoimhe]

17 hours ago, Dimity said:

My library requires this as well.  Back when I worked in a public library the main reason this was required was you needed to prove your identity and, most importantly, prove you were a resident and entitled to use the library for free (non residents had to pay to join). 

What annoys me is that when I joined the library where I live now I did it online and had to provide proof of ID and address but still had to pick up the card in person.  They had the proof they needed so I'm not sure why this was still needed.

The local City Hall will accept a copy of my driving license to verify my identity and residence then post things out to me, no idea why the library won't. I'm only interested in ebooks but as long as they insist on me walking into the building I won't bother with it. Someday things may change.

[Dimity]

18 hours ago, fastiller said:

Current PP, again about people listening to their phone audio without headphones or ear buds. This time sitting at the bar at my local Vietnamese/Phó joint.  I just wanna eat my dinner & read my book in peace. Is that too much to ask for?

 

[EtheltoTillie]

19 hours ago, roseha said:

As far as I know, my card from the New York Public Library has to be renewed in person every three years.  I mainly use it to download e-books, but now that you all mention it, I wonder if it will need to be renewed again soon...

Pet peeve, doesn't anyone make mixed nuts that aren't loaded with almonds?  I don't mind them generally but the skins are rather bitter and there are so many in the nuts I buy (even from nuts.com who are a great company) that it looks like 60 to 70 percent almonds in there.

I have NYPL also.  These days I also mostly use it for e-books from Libby.  I can't remember their rule on renewing the card as to e-books.  Fortunately, one branch is a couple of blocks from my office. 

[partofme]

6 minutes ago, EtheltoTillie said:

I have NYPL also.  These days I also mostly use it for e-books from Libby.  I can't remember their rule on renewing the card as to e-books.  Fortunately, one branch is a couple of blocks from my office. 

It’s every 3 years like @roseha thought.  I had to go in person last July to renew my library card and my account currently says it’s good through July 2027. I use mine to read ebooks both through Libby and Cloud library.  

Edited 7 hours ago by partofme

[PRgal]

2 hours ago, Wiendish Fitch said:

These people irritate me, too, but I'm also weirdly envious of them. I mean, they are just listening or watching whatever the hell they want on their phone... and they're not the least bit afraid that someone is going to ridicule them?

Like, at all?! 

I am north of 40, FFS, and I still live in abject terror of people making fun of me for what I watch or listen to! 

No fear or criticism or mockery? What is that like? What were these people's upbringings like? Did they not have siblings? Their school years must have been a damn breeze for them!

Even only children like me were teased (I never got the weird lunch teasing because my grandmother, despite being an awful cook, was actually pretty creative and sent me to school with sandwiches with Cantonese-style filling (think cha siu or soy sauce roast chicken).  She was NOT into gate-keeping cuisine like many immigrant families seem to be.  Though she'd STILL likely be weirded out with my pumpkin moon cakes for the Mid-Autumn Festival!!!)!  I certainly was when I was in middle school and spent a year in Bermuda.  I was made fun of for....liking 90210.  It wasn't until I was an adult that I realized they were jealous that I was "allowed" to watch it (not realizing that my parents taped the show for me to watch the day after).  Bermuda is on the Atlantic time zone and in 1991-1992, the show aired on Thursdays at 9 PM ET.  So 10 PM Atlantic time.  That's bedtime for a 12 year old...or maybe even beyond.  It's the same reason why I didn't get to watch ER until I was in university.  I had to be in bed by 10 on school nights (unless I was studying) until I moved out.

[Anela]

This reminds me of our last Christmas with mum, when I was out with my dad, at a Macy's store. Nobody was on the furniture level, except for the woman sitting at her desk. I was talking to my mum on the phone, trying to be cheery, and talking about a couch I was sitting on, and I heard her mock what I was saying about the couch. 

I've thought about turning things around on people who do that, but I don't want to hurt their feelings. 

Two months after we lost her, we were leaving the house a lot, because it felt weird being here without her. So, dad would come home, pick me up, and we'd get dinner somewhere, or go to the bookstore, walk the dogs, etc. We went to the Dairy Queen, I think it was, to get something to eat, and when I asked for what I wanted, this guy who was there with his family, heard my accent, and started to mock it. My very English accent. He kept doing it, the whole time we were there. Talking to his family, in a bad English accent. 

Edited 6 hours ago by Anela

[PRgal]

42 minutes ago, Anela said:

This reminds me of our last Christmas with mum, when I was out with my dad, at a Macy's store. Nobody was on the furniture level, except for the woman sitting at her desk. I was talking to my mum on the phone, trying to be cheery, and talking about a couch I was sitting on, and I heard her mock what I was saying about the couch. 

I've thought about turning things around on people who do that, but I don't want to hurt their feelings. 

Two months after we lost her, we were leaving the house a lot, because it felt weird being here without her. So, dad would come home, pick me up, and we'd get dinner somewhere, or go to the bookstore, walk the dogs, etc. We went to the Dairy Queen, I think it was, to get something to eat, and when I asked for what I wanted, this guy who was there with his family, heard my accent, and started to mock it. My very English accent. He kept doing it, the whole time we were there. Talking to his family, in a bad English accent. 

Can I play devil’s advocate and suggest that the guy could be autistic/neurodivergent?  Some of us feel like we’re connecting to the person we’re speaking with a bit more by doing that.  It’s wholly subconscious.

 

 

[Bastet]

29 minutes ago, PRgal said:

Some of us feel like we’re connecting to the person we’re speaking with a bit more by doing that.

As described, he wasn't talking to her, he was talking to his family in an exaggerated imitation of her accent.  Sounds like an asshole, whether neurotypical or neurodivergent.

[Anela]

53 minutes ago, Bastet said:

As described, he wasn't talking to her, he was talking to his family in an exaggerated imitation of her accent.  Sounds like an asshole, whether neurotypical or neurodivergent.

Right, and thank you. He didn't talk to me, at all.