Pet Peeves: Aka Things That Make You Go "Gah!"

[DrSpaceman73]

1 hour ago, Wiendish Fitch said:

I used to work in the public library, and this happened.

All. The. Time. 

What the fuck is wrong with these guys? Why can't they jerk themselves off in the bathroom or at home? Why must they do this in a public place? I'm sorry, but I have no sympathy and I refuse to understand. Some societal norms are there for a goddamned reason. 

I assume it's a combination of homeless people and it being a fetish. 

But doesn't excuse it

[PRgal]

14 minutes ago, DrSpaceman73 said:

I assume it's a combination of homeless people and it being a fetish. 

But doesn't excuse it

Could be someone who is on the autism spectrum.  There was a court case around here where a young man with special needs was accused of inappropriate behaviour in the men's locker room.  

[ABay]

It's just as bad, if not worse, in academic libraries.

[annzeepark914]

3 hours ago, peacheslatour said:

Are you in the military? Law enforcement? Medicine? Why do people call women 'females'? It's unsettling.

Me? In the military? 🙀 No. I'm retired from nonprofit management. I use the word female when I'm referring to all ages (so I don't have to say women & girls). 

[peacheslatour]

23 minutes ago, annzeepark914 said:

Me? In the military? 🙀 No. I'm retired from nonprofit management. I use the word female when I'm referring to all ages (so I don't have to say women & girls). 

It's just that incels and misogynists use it too. It always puss me up short.

[Leeds]

On 6/13/2023 at 9:43 AM, KittyMom4 said:

 

Caveat and clandestine were words that I never knew how to pronounce until I heard someone say it. CaveAT was cavEET and clandestine was candle-stein.

 

You pronounce caveat with the emphasis on the last syllable?

Edited June 16, 2023 by Leeds

[peacheslatour]

1 hour ago, Leeds said:

You pronounce caveat with the emphasis on the last syllable?

Yep Cav-e-AT.

[Browncoat]

22 minutes ago, peacheslatour said:

Yep Cav-e-AT.

Same here.  How do you pronounce it, @Leeds?

[annzeepark914]

1 hour ago, peacheslatour said:

It's just that incels and misogynists use it too. It always puss me up short.

Gosh--I was wondering why you were upset about my using "female".  I use female just to save space (I can be kinda nerdy in this way, saving space, time, effort, etc 🥴). I know very little about incels & other strange folks. 

[oliviabenson]

Just now, annzeepark914 said:

Gosh--I was wondering why you were upset about my using "female".  I use female just to save space (I can be kinda nerdy in this way, saving space, time, effort, etc 🥴). I know very little about incels & other strange folks. 

Female/female’s doesn’t bother me.

[oliviabenson]

Men masturbating in public is disgusting. I don’t want to see it on the subway or the library. 

[annzeepark914]

OK--got one last library story. I emailed my sister, who worked at our old, Victorian-era library while in high school. I asked her if she experienced any pervs. She said no, but she did have to deal with an unusual character who sold balloons, miniwhirligigs, etc., during parades (& our town had a *lot* of great parades back in the day). He needed help placing his orders for all the products he *carried* (as he walked up & down Main Street during parades). She said he was a nice fellow, but she had to breathe "carefully" as he had a pungent odor. The old sour librarian was furious that my sis helped this poor soul. So, you just never know who you're going to meet or deal with in the library!

[Leeds]

2 hours ago, peacheslatour said:

Yep Cav-e-AT.

 

1 hour ago, Browncoat said:

Same here.  How do you pronounce it, @Leeds?

CAV-e-at.

Em-PHAS-is on the first sy-LLA-ble, dontcha know?  😉

PS: Where are you from?  Me, north central England.

Edited June 17, 2023 by Leeds
: not "

[Browncoat]

1 minute ago, Leeds said:

PS"  Where are you from?  Me, north central England.

Virginia.

[SoMuchTV]

41 minutes ago, Leeds said:

 

CAV-e-at.

Em-PHAS-is on the first sy-LLA-ble, dontcha know?  😉

PS: Where are you from?  Me, north central England.

 

38 minutes ago, Browncoat said:

Virginia.

CAV-e-at, for me, Virginia as well, but I could see using the em-PHAS-is to distinguish CaveAT from cavEET.

[Leeds]

23 minutes ago, SoMuchTV said:

 

CAV-e-at, for me, Virginia as well, but I could see using the em-PHAS-is to distinguish CaveAT from cavEET.

What's caveet?

[SoMuchTV]

7 minutes ago, Leeds said:

What's caveet?

 

On 6/13/2023 at 12:43 PM, KittyMom4 said:

Caveat and clandestine were words that I never knew how to pronounce until I heard someone say it. CaveAT was cavEET and clandestine was candle-stein.

CavEET was the pronunciation of caveat in the post that started this discussion- as in, this is how someone thought it was pronounced from reading but not hearing. 

[EtheltoTillie]

I too used to think it was clandesTEEN. 

[Browncoat]

Froderick Frahnkensteen.

Ahem.  New day, new peeve.  I really hate it when I wake up within about 30 minutes of my alarm going off.  It's not enough time for me to get back to sleep (especially if I need to pee), but it's too early to actually get up for real.

[Anela]

I say it like peaches or Leeds. And clandestine, ending with TIN. Although I see how someone could get confused, with words like celestine ending in TEEN.

Peeve: I finally fixed my schedule, but I haven't been sleeping much at all. Occasionally one good sleep, and then it's dozing, or just lying there, waiting to see if it happens. Thursday night, we had storms, which meant my dog wanting me to protect him, so I was still awake at gone 2am. Last night, I was upset, and dozed, not slept-slept. 

I also didn't get plants in the ground until this month, and my seed starts died in April. The second lot, barely sprouted. I have this thing where I want to be up and outside in the Spring, the way I used to be. Showered, and outside with my book or iPad, drinking my tea, and getting things in the ground, before it gets too hot, and I also have to do other things. I had vertigo for over a month, and am still basically grieving all of the losses, and now a new one. I'm still barely getting outside, and now Spring is just about over, and the sun will start going away again.

I just like to get things planted, I like to see them grow, and Spring used to be my favourite time of year. Before the heat really sets in. 

Edited June 17, 2023 by Anela

[Suzn]

18 hours ago, Leeds said:

 

CAV-e-at.

Em-PHAS-is on the first sy-LLA-ble, dontcha know?  😉

PS: Where are you from?  Me, north central England.

That's how I pronounce it.  I'm in Kansas.

[nokat]

@chambers I'll horrify you by saying I'm one of those heathen Americans who puts a cup in the microwave. I grew up with proper kettle water tea but I'm just lazy. At least I do let it steep.

[Adiba]

1 hour ago, nokat said:

@chambers I'll horrify you by saying I'm one of those heathen Americans who puts a cup in the microwave. I grew up with proper kettle water tea but I'm just lazy. At least I do let it steep.

Me, too--the first cup in heated in the microwave, but I put the kettle on the stove for the second cup and drink the first while it comes to a boil. (Yes, odd little routine I have.)  Milk and sugar are non-issues because I drink it black (except when I'm sick, then lemon and honey.)

[PRgal]

Regional culture is a thing.  My late grandma was horrified to find that I drink water directly from the tap.  My parents only tolerate that I don’t drink warm water (we have a filtered tap that does both hot and cold so we don’t have to boil water to make tea).  Unlike most people people here, I don’t drink it iced.  Just regular tap temperature water.  And I need to turn in my Asian card because I don’t own a rice cooker (did, but it died).  I don’t eat a lot of rice/rice subs (like quinoa, farro, bulgur and the like) and honestly, prefer to cook it stovetop.   My dad has only recently accepted my food preferences after YEARS of bugging me.  He still thinks my bread is too weird and doesn’t understand that my body handles ancient wheats better than regular.  

[annzeepark914]

2 hours ago, chambers said:

Marmalade butter and toast i wish i would see more.

Even an egg with some little soldiers.

Aww--this reminds me of all those wonderful *original* English mystery cozies I used to read (& can't find any more) like Agatha Christie, Hazel Holt, etc. Never quite sure what the little soldiers were (toast cut into strips?) Oh, and "pots of tea" in late afternoons by a fireplace, in a cottage, w/ cream cakes. The true "cozy". 

[Laura Holt]

4 hours ago, chambers said:

I've also noticed many times that if a character makes a cuppa with a tea bag in a cup, all they do is slop water out of the kettle into the cup and then almost immediately take the tea bag out!

What I notice, and not just on TV, are people who add milk and keep the tea bag in the cup.  Words cannot express my horror.

[StatisticalOutlier]

On 6/17/2023 at 5:20 AM, Browncoat said:

I really hate it when I wake up within about 30 minutes of my alarm going off.  It's not enough time for me to get back to sleep (especially if I need to pee), but it's too early to actually get up for real.

I know people are entitled to their peeves, so I'm not diminishing your peeve, but when I wake up before the alarm, I like to think about how I get to lie there all snug and comfortable for 30 minutes before having to get up. 

[PRgal]

4 hours ago, chambers said:

Most costume comedy series and movies have their limits as they can't get beyond what can be called a "Flintstones" level. There's a number of unimpressive Italian movies (usually about Nero) and American sitcoms (1999's "Thanks" and also "1775")

My parents used to subscribe to the Chinese language cable channel when I was little and they'd often air period comedies during prime time (Hong Kong series tend to be limited run and once a series is done, it's done.  You'd rarely get a show that runs for, say, 10+ seasons).  They can be really weird and kooky with OTT characters.  

[oliviabenson]

6 hours ago, chambers said:

Yes - soldiers are hot toast cut into strips and the traditional is to dip them into the yolk.

Mmm now that’s what I want for a snack.

[peacheslatour]

53 minutes ago, PRgal said:

My parents used to subscribe to the Chinese language cable channel when I was little and they'd often air period comedies during prime time (Hong Kong series tend to be limited run and once a series is done, it's done.  You'd rarely get a show that runs for, say, 10+ seasons).  They can be really weird and kooky with OTT characters.  

I used to watch a Mexican soap that had a guy that looked exactly like Saddam Hussein. It was really funny and I learned some Spanish.

[peacheslatour]

7 hours ago, chambers said:

Saddam was a figure of fun in movies like Hot Shots Part II in the 1990s - Ineffectual Sympathetic Villain i believe is what TV Tropes uses to describe that character type. Says a lot given what he did to his own people in real life.

Oh well, at least the character got killed off in the soap. 😎

[Cloud9Shopper]

Pet peeve crossed with work: when employers don’t honestly advertise job openings.

I applied for a job with a local employer about three weeks ago. The job title listed was X and it sounded like something I would be happy to leave my current job to do. Today, the employer called me. She said oh yeah we labeled the job X but it’s actually called Y and it’s entry level. Oh, and the pay was almost $20,000 a year less than what I make now. Yeah, sign me up, Karen! /s Why did you just not call the job Y in the posting? 🤦‍♀️

[isalicat]

3 hours ago, Cloud9Shopper said:

Pet peeve crossed with work: when employers don’t honestly advertise job openings.

I applied for a job with a local employer about three weeks ago. The job title listed was X and it sounded like something I would be happy to leave my current job to do. Today, the employer called me. She said oh yeah we labeled the job X but it’s actually called Y and it’s entry level. Oh, and the pay was almost $20,000 a year less than what I make now. Yeah, sign me up, Karen! /s Why did you just not call the job Y in the posting? 🤦‍♀️

Classic "bait and switch"...but its how I fell into my career as a headhunter (technical recruiter). I answered an ad for a part time "researcher" as I was doing a Ph.D. in history and figured I knew how to do "research"...and it turned out the firm wanted a cold calling recruiter for cost accountants in the semiconductor industry (I know nothing about accounting or semiconductor manufacturing). Figured I would give it a try...and 38 years later retired out after starting a successful partnership in the field, prosperous and happy with my choice. As a recruiter though I would get mighty peeved if one of our client companies tried that on any of my candidates! (and they did from time to time, although not with entry level jobs)

[Mindthinkr]

17 hours ago, Cloud9Shopper said:

Pet peeve crossed with work: when employers don’t honestly advertise job openings.

I applied for a job with a local employer about three weeks ago. The job title listed was X and it sounded like something I would be happy to leave my current job to do. Today, the employer called me. She said oh yeah we labeled the job X but it’s actually called Y and it’s entry level. Oh, and the pay was almost $20,000 a year less than what I make now. Yeah, sign me up, Karen! /s Why did you just not call the job Y in the posting? 🤦‍♀️

That same thing happened to my daughter last month. She was so disappointed at the interview when the truth came out. Different hours and less pay than was advertised. The final straw was when they also stated that it would be PRN and she would be on call 7 days per week. 
I wonder that they do this just to get more applicants. 

[TattleTeeny]

Yeesh, not everyone (in real life and on TV) who acts in a crappy manner is a sociopath or a psychopath. In fact, most are not. People really like to throw those terms around.

[theredhead77]

9 hours ago, chambers said:

When your sitcom's social media team lets the world know what period they grew up in... and it turns out to have been well before the teenage girl stars they are trying to highlight were um.....  born...

Where is this from? I follow YS and haven't seen anything about this. Also checked the media thread. I must know more, Missy is fantastic!

[Bastet]

Thelma & Louise is a classic film, so many people who were not yet born when it came out have seen it.  The audience at the time was not limited to Boomers and certainly not now.  There are, as always, things that speak specifically to women of their age, white, working class, in the American South, but then there are the things that simply speak to women, and people, period.  Which is why it's a classic. 

[JTMacc99]

17 hours ago, TattleTeeny said:

Yeesh, not everyone (in real life and on TV) who acts in a crappy manner is a sociopath or a psychopath. In fact, most are not. People really like to throw those terms around.

I watched a show yesterday about a manhunt for a big-time Honduran drug smuggler. At one point the DEA agent who was in charge called the smuggler a psychopath.

Given the number of people he had murdered (and occasionally tortured), I thought that was a solid use of the word.  That should really be the benchmark for Psychopath. 

[theredhead77]

9 hours ago, chambers said:

It's parodying the poster for Thelma and Louise, a movie that came out fifteen years before McKenna Grace was born. My point was that T&L is very much a Boomer aimed movie (both of T&L's female leads are Boomers) and thus so incongruous when using the modern teenage actresses who played Missy and Paige that even though YS is a period piece, it still feels jarring. YS's anachronism about the Simpsons elsewhere also did not soothe (the writers didn't remember that Bart was the protagonist at the time, not Homer at it is today)

Oh, bummer. I was so happy about a potential spinoff or mini-series focusing on Paige and Missy.

Edited June 22, 2023 by theredhead77

[TattleTeeny]

3 hours ago, JTMacc99 said:

I watched a show yesterday about a manhunt for a big-time Honduran drug smuggler. At one point the DEA agent who was in charge called the smuggler a psychopath.

Given the number of people he had murdered (and occasionally tortured), I thought that was a solid use of the word.  That should really be the benchmark for Psychopath. 

I think people have the habit of using just one or two symptoms of sociopathy and/or psychopathy as a measure and running with it. They're not incorrect that they are symptoms, but that isn't necessarily solid proof (much like sneezing is a symptom of an allergy, but also could just be a sneeze). Plus, people don't seem to realize that the symptoms/behaviors have to apply to more than one aspect or area of a person's life (eg, someone can be a really bad and problematic spouse or employee or parent [emphasis on the "or"] and even exhibit distinct patterns that could indicate sociopathy and/or psychopathy, but be relatively normal in all other areas). Also, people can have tendencies without actually being a sociopath or psychopath (same with OCD, which has nothing to do with this, other than that too is a peeve of mine!).

I have been seeing a lot of internet labeling lately of a chick on a certain reality show and, while I admit I am no expert, I highly doubt that fellow viewers have enough to go on, even if they follow this person on more than just the edited TV show. Not to mention that she is also doing a few things that are the opposite (in a very general sense) of those labels.

Even people who are actual experts in the field don't tend to officially label someone's mental health from afar.

Edited June 22, 2023 by TattleTeeny

[JTMacc99]

@TattleTeeny you're on one of my broader peeves, which is people using terms or diagnosing conditions incorrectly.

Your examples of how people see one of two behaviors and slap the term Sociopath on somebody is dead on for the one that I spot all too often: People labeling somebody as a Narcissist. Narcissistic personality disorder is a very real, very nasty thing. Real narcissists are life ruining assholes. It's not a term to just slap on anybody who is self centered. 

1 hour ago, TattleTeeny said:

Even people who are actual experts in the field don't tend to officially label someone's mental health from afar.

Well, doctors and/or experts should be less inclined to label people from afar, because their opinion carries credibility. As such, they're kind of obligated to not issue diagnoses without actual diagnosing. 

On the other hand, and using my narcissist example, those of us who have lived it can certainly be comfortable to say something like "She pings me as narcissist. A lot of the things she does are just like my ex-spouse."  

It's just the dingbats who have heard the term and use it the way they want to use it, without understanding what they are saying, who muck up the situation.

 

[TattleTeeny]

Yes -- "pings" is so different than "is," if that makes sense! The people that are peeving me with this are definitely throwing out "is" as if they know for sure. 

Edited June 22, 2023 by TattleTeeny

[Laura Holt]

I think I'm done ordering stuff online.  I ordered a charger for my laptop through Amazon for a total of $64 after making sure I could return it if it wasn't the right one. 

It wasn't. 

I was able to return it but had to pay shipping as it wasn't purchased using Amazon Prime.  Shipping cost me $18.

Today I got my refund.  $51.  less the cost to them of shipping it to me I guess.

Anyway to not get something has cost me $31. 

This really sucks.

[Browncoat]

I should not have to turn on my bloody heat in the middle of bloody June!  I should need the AC -- or at least be able to open windows without freezing!  The high temp today was about 62F, and that's lower than what our June lows usually are.  And it's been pouring the rain all damn week.  I need some sun!

My neighbor across the street left town last weekend, and left one of her car windows halfway down.  Her car has to be full of rain by now.

[peacheslatour]

48 minutes ago, chambers said:

I thought some places in the USA were getting hotter and hotter each summer because of global heating?

It's climate change. And there are many heatwaves occurring right now.

[chitowngirl]

52 minutes ago, chambers said:

I thought some places in the USA were getting hotter and hotter each summer because of global heating?

 

3 minutes ago, peacheslatour said:

It's climate change. And there are many heatwaves occurring right now.

I think it’s an El Niño year also…

[peacheslatour]

8 minutes ago, chitowngirl said:

 

I think it’s an El Niño year also…

It is.

[Browncoat]

10 minutes ago, peacheslatour said:

It's climate change. And there are many heatwaves occurring right now.

Yep.  We've just been stuck under this low pressure system for the past week.  I'm tired of the cold rain, but I don't really envy Texas at the minute!  

[TattleTeeny]

Don’t hold me to it, but I believe that “global warming” and “climate change” are two different things and are not synonymous. I think? 

Edited June 23, 2023 by TattleTeeny

[TattleTeeny]

Speaking of peeves, are the ads here suddenly enormous and popping up right on top of multiple comments at once for anyone else?

Edited June 23, 2023 by TattleTeeny