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Pet Peeves: Aka Things That Make You Go "Gah!"


Message added by Mod-Tigerkatze,

Your Pet Peeves are your Pet Peeves and you're welcome to express them here. However, that does not mean that you can use this topic to go after your fellow posters; being annoyed by something they say or do is not a Pet Peeve.

If there's something you need clarification on, please remember: it's always best to address a fellow poster directly; don't talk about what they said, talk to them. Politely, of course! Everyone is entitled to their opinion and should be treated with respect. (If need be, check out the how to have healthy debates guidelines for more).

While we're happy to grant the leniency that was requested about allowing discussions to go beyond Pet Peeves, please keep in mind that this is still the Pet Peeves topic. Non-pet peeves discussions should be kept brief, be related to a pet peeve and if a fellow poster suggests the discussion may be taken to Chit Chat or otherwise tries to course-correct the topic, we ask that you don't dismiss them. They may have a point.

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5 hours ago, TattleTeeny said:

I don’t often do my own food shopping; this is a thing?

Until my house lions develop the ability to drive I'm the only one who shops and I've never experienced anyone commenting on items in my cart nor have I noticed people peering into my cart.

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OK, here's one:

I'm not going to name the organization because I believe it does good works.

However, I'm getting tired of some of this nameless organization's representatives standing in wait on the sidewalk so they can bombard us with questions and stats as my colleagues and I are ready  to enter our parking garage to walk to our cars so we can go home at the end of our respective shifts!

Seriously, who thought that this would foster good will for the cause they espouse?

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2 minutes ago, KittyMom4 said:

 

why though? 

Beats me.  I guess it's me judging what someone's household is like.  I admit I can be snobby, I suppose.  Superiority over people who buy things I consider "empty calories?"  I don't think it's economic class.  People who shop at the stores I go to tend to be of a similar socio-economic background.

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3 hours ago, PRgal said:

Superiority over people who buy things I consider "empty calories?"

You'd have had a field day with me recently.  I was at a chain supermarket nearby because they had a great deal on Kraft mac & cheese if you buy five boxes, and I keep those in the pantry as a junk food treat (half a box at a time, every few months, I am not going to fret about eating a packet of neon orange chemicals because it's frakkin' delicious).  My parents had asked me to pick up some chips while I was there, and those were cheap if you got three bags, so that's what I had. 

What you wouldn't have known is that on the way home I'd be going to my usual local market to do my regular shopping, with lots of produce, a few types of meat/seafood from the butcher counter, a couple of cheeses from the deli, and no processed food in sight.

Edited by Bastet
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I don't look at people's carts and I don't make any judgements at check out...I really don't care what others buy, it is their business/choice. This is why I got a little frustrated with my neighbor that took me shopping (and to dr appts) while I was in the back brace.

I will always thank her for helping me by the way. But I would pick up something to put in my cart and she would right away say things like "You know that is not organic don't you?"  or "You know the house brand is cheaper don't you?" (I normally buy only a few house brand items.) It got to the point that I finally said, "I am going to be in this brace for a long time and while I am, I am going to eat what I want/makes me feel good, organic or not." (And I do normally buy a lot of organic items as it is but this was an unusual time.) Gahhh! She is basically a sweetheart, but she was really making me crazy!

This experience made me even more unconcerned about what others were buying.

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2 hours ago, Gramto6 said:

I don't look at people's carts and I don't make any judgements at check out...I really don't care what others buy, it is their business/choice. This is why I got a little frustrated with my neighbor that took me shopping (and to dr appts) while I was in the back brace.

I will always thank her for helping me by the way. But I would pick up something to put in my cart and she would right away say things like "You know that is not organic don't you?"  or "You know the house brand is cheaper don't you?" (I normally buy only a few house brand items.) It got to the point that I finally said, "I am going to be in this brace for a long time and while I am, I am going to eat what I want/makes me feel good, organic or not." (And I do normally buy a lot of organic items as it is but this was an unusual time.) Gahhh! She is basically a sweetheart, but she was really making me crazy!

This experience made me even more unconcerned about what others were buying.

That happened to me with 2 different people !
 

After seeing a movie my friend and I went to a Trader Joe’s. Every item she made a comment on or suggested buy frozen spinach it’s cheaper. Lady I want fresh spinach. 

 

Another one kept asking what are you going to do with it that? Is it good? Basically every item was scrutinized. Lady it’s TJ if you don’t like it bring it back!

Edited by oliviabenson
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1 hour ago, oliviabenson said:

Target is no longer as cheap as it used to be! Every time I go I barely buy anything because it’s so expensive. 
 

I wanted some dresses: $30 or more for 1. Nope.

If you know your size in the brands you like, or at least have reasonably accurate measurements, eBay is your friend. All my clothes come from eBay - you can filter for "new with tags" and then shop in your size category with the lowest price first. I have some brand new white espadrilles on the way for $3.25 plus $5.00 shipping 😸  And yes, you can generally return anything that is "not as described" but not because you don't like it or it doesn't fit you...

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It apparently went up to 88 here in NYC today.  Way too soon.  However it's quickly dropping back down to the 60s tomorrow for the foreseeable future.  I wish that the rain wasn't coming with it though!

 

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51 minutes ago, roseha said:

It apparently went up to 88 here in NYC today.  Way too soon.  However it's quickly dropping back down to the 60s tomorrow for the foreseeable future.  I wish that the rain wasn't coming with it though!

 

It was 90 degrees yesterday. 

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My entire state of Iowa was under a red flag warning yesterday.

But yeah, our weather's getting all wonky, too. It was 87 degrees yesterday. By Sunday? Temperatures in the 40s and a rain and snow mix :p. 

I'm honestly looking forward to the cooldown, though, I don't want it to be in the upper 80s yet. Too damn early, save that for late June/early July. 

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On 4/13/2023 at 4:58 PM, RealHousewife said:

I’ve had guys comment on my stuff trying to make conversation.

Read out of context (as I did), this is quite disturbing.

7 hours ago, oliviabenson said:

Target is no longer as cheap as it used to be! Every time I go I barely buy anything because it’s so expensive. 
 

I wanted some dresses: $30 or more for 1. Nope.

Maybe I shop in the wrong places, but $30 for a dress doesn't seem unreasonable to me.  

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On 4/7/2023 at 3:06 PM, Elizabeth Anne said:

Buyer beware I guess is the order of the day but I am beyond peeved today!  I ordered a book through Amazon a few weeks ago and the wrong book was sent.  The seller though insists they sent the book I ordered.  And they kind of did after all. 

The book I selected (and I know I selected the right one!!) once it arrived in my cart somehow had changed into a slightly different title by a different author.  Clearly this is a mistake by the seller or by Amazon - but I should have noticed it as well.  Dammit. 

So it looks like unless I'm prepared to pay for shipping - which will likely cost about the same as the book! - I am out of luck. 

Quoting myself to say Amazon came through.  I made a claim and pointed out that while I didn't notice the mistake (mea culpa there) the original mistake was down to Amazon so could they please refund my money.  And i got an email today saying they agreed with me and they refunded my money.  I am pleasantly surprised!

Edited by Elizabeth Anne
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11 minutes ago, RealHousewife said:

PMS blues. The usual things are making me more down than usual. I didn’t experience this when I was younger.

I always end up crying over something pointless before my period. I get so emotional and miserable and don’t want to deal with anything. My mom had PMDD when she still had periods so I think some of it runs in the family. :/ Sigh.

My two tonight:

When you’re at a standstill in a parking lot and the person in the car behinds you honks. Hey person can you not see that nobody in this parking lot is moving? Yes I know the arena traffic guys with their glow sticks are terrible at their job; this parking lot has been like this forever. But don’t honk when we have nowhere to move to.

Someone was trying to argue with me in a TV show Reddit and said to me “You can’t watch (this season of the show) and say (this thing about this character). That’s a lie.” Hey Karen, this is a fictional TV show, not a court of law. I can say whatever I want because I saw the character in a different way than you. Go touch the grass. 

Edited by Cloud9Shopper
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My peeve: being the first person to walk in the morning so I have to break all of the webs. Shivers.

The sidewalks are lined with flowering bushes and dwarf trees. Bees are wonderful. We need bees. But I get nervous walking a few inches away from all of the bees. The dwarf trees hang low over the sidewalk. I have to duck sometimes so the bees (and spiders) are right there.

The fun thing about morning walks is if it's sunny all of the little lizards (Common Side-Blotched Lizard) sun themselves on the sidewalk. Then they dart away as soon as I walk up. Cute little things.

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The TSA strikes again. At my airport (a smaller one) you really have to be careful with your carry on luggage. They will steal stuff. I’ve lost jewelry, a gold lighter (before they were banned), and now I just got a distress call from a friend that all of their hearing aid batteries are missing. Now they are trying to navigate a foreign country without being able to hear well. I’m traveling tomorrow. I know which agent to avoid, and hope I don’t lose something. 

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The long, inefficient choir practices I’m at every week start to feel like a bigger headache the more often we have them. We had a two-hour practice before Easter and Holy Week, then last week we finished in an hour and now this week it was an hour and 20 minutes again because we have a special Mass on Sunday and the directors (our director and the director from our sister church) were getting overly nitpicky about some of the music. I mean, OK…the Mass is *this Sunday.* At some point you need to accept that we are as good as we’re going to get, and if someone doesn’t enunciate a word properly on Sunday you’re not going to be able to bring the whole thing to a stop and do it all over again. Not saying we should settle for sounding like crap but this also isn’t a papal Mass or America’s Got Talent. There has to be a middle ground somewhere. 

I’m just so sick of these long rehearsals where every piece of music has to be picked apart to death and everyone has to weigh in on what we should do even if it’s stuff we sang last year or basic hymns you know if you attend church. If this keeps happening next year, I may quit. I’m just tired of wasting my time and it’s taking all the fun out of being at church and getting to worship, which is what a choir should be about. 

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My pet peeve is me. The way I can be so indecisive at times that I miss out on things that I later regret not getting in on. This time it was a pair of noise reducing headphones that were on sale for a really good price. There wasn't any indication that said price would be ending soon so I figured I could think on it.  Now they're $30 more...🙁

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Pet peeves are a couple things pertaining to society's attitudes about women's bodies.

Some people say body positivity is promoting obesity, but unless I've missed something, I think the message is to just love your body. I have yet to hear anyone say, gain a hundred pounds for the heck of it, it's great for you. And leave Lizzo alone, pretty sure she hasn't done anything to you. She's a beautiful, talented woman living her life, not bothering anybody.

It's great society celebrates the beauty of old Hollywood actresses even if they weren't the thinnest, but I've noticed current celebs held to a much higher standard. Some of the biggest old Hollywood sex symbols had cellulite, belly fat, soft all over, etc. But the same people who talk about how perfect those women were will often talk about a thinner modern celeb woman's body in a more critical manner, like they can't go from a 2 to a 4 without it being a thing. 

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18 hours ago, RealHousewife said:

Some people say body positivity is promoting obesity, but unless I've missed something, I think the message is to just love your body.

Yes, love the body you have while you have it, even if you're in the process of trying to change it.  But don't do unhealthy things to try and force your body into a shape it is not meant to be, or obsess over your natural body shape not looking like what you see on screen and in magazines.  (And for the love of all that is good, stop acting like being thin automatically means being healthy and being overweight automatically means being destined to die young; being overweight, and especially being obese, does increase the risk of certain conditions, of course, but people spouting off like they're privy to someone's medical records is ridiculous.) 

It just speaks to how aggressively fat-phobic society is that such a simple message gets people up in arms.  Studies consistently show girls who haven't even reached puberty yet fret about the shape of their perfectly healthy bodies, and people are seriously out there faux worrying about "encouraging'' obesity.

On the same subject, I hate hearing/seeing "skinny" used as a synonym for thin/slim and really hate it being talked about as a goal.  I know language evolves, but for Pete's sake, one of its definitions is "emaciated"!  That's not something to aspire to. 

Edited by Bastet
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3 minutes ago, Bastet said:

Yes, love the body you have while you have it, even if you're in the process of trying to change it.  But don't do unhealthy things to try and force you body into a shape it is not meant to be, or obsess over your natural body shape not looking like what you see on screen and in magazines.  (And for the love of all that is good, stop acting like being thin automatically means being healthy and being overweight automatically means being destined to die young; being overweight, and especially being obese, does increase the risk of certain conditions, of course, but people spouting off like they're privy to someone's medical records is ridiculous.) 

It just speaks to how aggressively fat-phobic society is that such a simple message gets people up in arms.  Studies consistently show girls who haven't even reached puberty yet fret about the shape of their perfectly healthy bodies, and people are seriously out there faux worrying about encouraging obesity.

On the same subject, I hate hearing/seeing "skinny" used as a synonym for thin/slim and really hate it being talked about as a goal.  I know language evolves, but for Pete's sake, one of its definitions is "emaciated"!  That's not something to aspire to. 

Yes to all of this.

I for one think it's also time to stop equating thinness with virtue. If you're a shitty person, I'm not going overlook that fact just because you have a small waist and toned arms.

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Speaking of bodies:  I hate it when say “size 0 is disgusting” in front of people who wear that size.  Sure, 0 isn’t a number but when that’s the size that fits you, then it’s very real to you.  

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58 minutes ago, PRgal said:

Speaking of bodies:  I hate it when say “size 0 is disgusting” in front of people who wear that size.  Sure, 0 isn’t a number but when that’s the size that fits you, then it’s very real to you.  

Sizing is an artificial construct. No size number is automatically “disgusting” and on a taller person with a different build even the size jeans I have on right now could look great. When I pick up a sewing pattern I find that just because I can stuff all my fat into stretchy size 18 ready to wear jeans there is no way a size 18 jeans pattern would even come close to fitting. I have to use at least 24/26 with alterations for my hippo hips and thunder thighs to get the size I actually am!

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58 minutes ago, oliviabenson said:

And women having body hair and not shaving pits, legs etc. 

Rachel McAdams showed off her unshaven underarms in a magazine. The comments were brutal. Why does it matter if she doesn’t shave? 
 

 

This is a tough one for me.  I am too old to shed the cultural constructs of this issue, plus the trauma of being made fun of for having hairy legs and arms at a young age. 

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2 minutes ago, EtheltoTillie said:

This is a tough one for me.  I am too old to shed the cultural constructs of this issue, plus the trauma of being made fun of for having hairy legs and arms at a young age. 

Same.  On the other hand I bet you are like me and would never dream of taking to social media to condemn any woman who dares to appear in public unshaven in key areas!  Not my business.

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3 minutes ago, Elizabeth Anne said:

Same.  On the other hand I bet you are like me and would never dream of taking to social media to condemn any woman who dares to appear in public unshaven in key areas!  Not my business.

Oh, no, of course not!  I just can't easily encourage people to duck convention, given my experience. 

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1 hour ago, EtheltoTillie said:

This is a tough one for me.  I am too old to shed the cultural constructs of this issue, plus the trauma of being made fun of for having hairy legs and arms at a young age. 

Sometimes, I feel like these women are doing it to show off how "woke" they are.  Or a way to incite conversation and to criticize those who stick to "conventional" standards.  It really bothers me because, well, I've been victim to this.  A woman (one who I do not know, but is moderately high profile) dared to criticize me because I wear bras and she doesn't.  She said that I was "constricting" myself and that I should just "let go."  What if I don't want to?  I told her that it was my body, my choice.  She managed to back off and I hope she learned her lesson.

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3 hours ago, oliviabenson said:

Not wearing a bra is not an option for me. Will knock myself out lol. 

That reminds me of a line in The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas, when Mona - played by Dolly Parton, and that visual is crucial to reading this - tells Ed Earl her childhood dream was to be a ballerina.  He jokingly encourages her that dream could still come true, she should go into training right now, just start jumping up and down.  She says, "Me, start jumping up and down?  I'd black both my eyes."

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Restaurant prices.  Ok I get that they have to pass on the rising cost of food to us consumers.  Fair enough.  But c'mon!  We went to a place for lunch today that was nice but very much more a diner than a gourmet establishment and two soups, two  entrées and two coffees came to over $80 with tip.  It's going to be a looooong time before we eat out again at those prices!!

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Crutches. Surely in 2023 there should be an easier, better design. Because I, for one, do not think that balancing and swinging one’s weight on narrow pegs is truly the best option for someone with an injury who really doesn’t want another. 

I have a design in my head that seems like it would be really awesome. But I’m no engineer and I’m certain that if it made real sense, it would exist? 

Edited by TattleTeeny
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10 minutes ago, Elizabeth Anne said:

Restaurant prices.  Ok I get that they have to pass on the rising cost of food to us consumers.  Fair enough.  But c'mon!  We went to a place for lunch today that was nice but very much more a diner than a gourmet establishment and two soups, two  entrées and two coffees came to over $80 with tip.  It's going to be a looooong time before we eat out again at those prices!!

It's worse with takeout, especially if you're using a third party app (e.g. DoorDash or UberEats) - especially some places.  I get a small increase, but one restaurant (diner food!!) I used to be a regular at ups the price significantly.  A plain burger and fries that comes with lettuce, tomatoes and a pickle is $17 on their menu but $26 on UberEats.  Mind you, their website is really dated, and I'm not even sure if it's been updated since before the pandemic, but still.  One of their omelettes is $20 on their website and $29 on UberEats.  I get that the restaurant is in one of the priciest neighbourhoods in Toronto, but still.  

Edited by PRgal
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46 minutes ago, PRgal said:

One of their omelettes is $20 on their website and $29 on UberEats. 

I don't live where we could get food delivered through UberEats or similar but your comment here reminded me of the price of breakfast at a place I went to a few months ago.  I had the basic eggs bacon toast and coffee meal and it was priced at around $15.00 IIRC.  I may be off by a dollar or two but anyway it was basically double what I would have paid prior to Covid at this particular place.  

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On 4/18/2023 at 4:58 AM, Cloud9Shopper said:


I’m just so sick of these long rehearsals where every piece of music has to be picked apart to death and everyone has to weigh in on what we should do even if it’s stuff we sang last year or basic hymns you know if you attend church. If this keeps happening next year, I may quit. I’m just tired of wasting my time and it’s taking all the fun out of being at church and getting to worship, which is what a choir should be about. 

Speak up!! (after practice, or at another time when you can approach your Choir Director privately) I'm in a Catholic Church choir and we rehearse once a week (on Wednesday evenings, so going tonight) and never more than an hour. Then we meet about 40 minutes before Mass on the Sunday morning and go over the choir anthem piece once more plus run through the psalm response. No one in the choir finds it appropriate to tell our Choir Director (a musician of great experience and patience) what we should do or how we should do it - she is the Director, not us. I would suggest telling your Choir Director that the rehearsals are getting less productive and that he/she could shut down some of the input politely as not to waste everyone's time. A pet peeve: People who think they are the boss when they are not. (And I am a controlling type, but I know when I am not the boss and keep my mouth shut.)

 

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1 hour ago, Elizabeth Anne said:

Restaurant prices.  Ok I get that they have to pass on the rising cost of food to us consumers.  Fair enough.  But c'mon!  We went to a place for lunch today that was nice but very much more a diner than a gourmet establishment and two soups, two  entrées and two coffees came to over $80 with tip.  It's going to be a looooong time before we eat out again at those prices!!

$13 for a burrito, $9 for 2 tacos, $9 for a ham sandwich at a deli. It’s a to go only place.

I pack food at home for lunch etc. I don’t even eat anywhere anymore. Too expensive!

Edited by oliviabenson
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2 minutes ago, oliviabenson said:

$13 for a burrito, $9 for 2 tacos, $9 for a ham sandwich at a deli. It’s a to go only place.

I pack food at home for lunch etc. I don’t even eat anywhere anymore. Too expensive!

Yes, restaurant food prices seemed to have doubled over the last 2-3 years. My favorite hamburger place charged $8.00 for a California burger (1/3 lb. ground beef, pepper jack, tomato, lettuce, half an avocado and amazing sauce) when I moved here....last of two years ago the same burger was $12.99. When I went last weekend it is now $17.99. Delicious (nom, nom, nom!) but now too expensive except maybe once a year.

Lunch out here in central coastal California is generally running at least $20 pp with a salad or a sandwich and a beverage, plus tax and tip. I know these places have to pass along their costs (including labor) to the customers but this seems like a zero sum game at best.

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52 minutes ago, Elizabeth Anne said:

I don't live where we could get food delivered through UberEats or similar but your comment here reminded me of the price of breakfast at a place I went to a few months ago.  I had the basic eggs bacon toast and coffee meal and it was priced at around $15.00 IIRC.  I may be off by a dollar or two but anyway it was basically double what I would have paid prior to Covid at this particular place.  

$15 for a eggs/bacon/toast and coffee meal isn't all that abnormal in Toronto!  In fact, I'd call that a good deal!

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13 minutes ago, PRgal said:

$15 for a eggs/bacon/toast and coffee meal isn't all that abnormal in Toronto!  In fact, I'd call that a good deal!

Big city vs small town prices I guess!  But in some ways around here big city can win.  We have a small Chinese buffet place in my town and when I say small I am not kidding.  Anyway they serve the exact same limited choices every single day and recently put the price up to about $28.  Well you don't have to drive far to get to places like a Mandarin Buffet which, yes, charges more that $28. but not that much more when you consider the choices you get at these bigger places.  

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