Pet Peeves: Aka Things That Make You Go "Gah!"

[ABay]

@TattleTeeny, the same thing happened to some Le Creuset I ordered a few years ago. There was absolutely no padding in the box at all. The piece I wanted most was broken but the smaller one survived. I cut myself on the broken bit when returning it.

Edited December 8, 2021 by ABay

[TattleTeeny]

They seriously better not make me return it! It's in pieces!

EDIT: Refunded, no need to return! Reordered elsewhere because they were out of the color I wanted.

Edited December 8, 2021 by TattleTeeny

[kristen111]

18 hours ago, SuprSuprElevated said:

_7-crazy-reasons-packages-get-destroyed

Before college, my Son was a UPS Driver.  He said UPS and FedX are the best.  The trouble lies with Amazon.  Careless.

[shapeshifter]

3 minutes ago, kristen111 said:

Before college, my Son was a UPS Driver.  He said UPS and FedX are the best.  The trouble lies with Amazon.  Careless.

Back in the 1980s (pre-Amazon) my sister sent me a teapot and 2 cups. The cups survived, but the teapot was shattered. There was zero padding in the box. I never told her about it because I thought she had packed it that way, but just recently this topic came up in conversation with my oldest daughter and she said that it was probably "packed" and shipped from the store. D'oh! After all these years, that makes so much more sense. (Our dad packed stuff after school as a kid for $0.25 and was an expert wrapper/packer, so we knew how!) I don't know if this is still how shopping works (post-retirement and during pandemic, I am now at least 60% hermit) but it used to be that you could find something in a store and ask at checkout if you could pay for them to ship it for you as a gift.

As for Amazon packing these days (as a hermit, I do use Amazon more than the average bear) it really varies. You never know, but at least they're pretty good about returns.

[kristen111]

3 minutes ago, shapeshifter said:

Back in the 1980s (pre-Amazon) my sister sent me a teapot and 2 cups. The cups survived, but the teapot was shattered. There was zero padding in the box. I never told her about it because I thought she had packed it that way, but just recently this topic came up in conversation with my oldest daughter and she said that it was probably "packed" and shipped from the store. D'oh! After all these years, that makes so much more sense. (Our dad packed stuff after school as a kid for $0.25 and was an expert wrapper/packer, so we knew how!) I don't know if this is still how shopping works (post-retirement and during pandemic, I am now at least 60% hermit) but it used to be that you could find something in a store and ask at checkout if you could pay for them to ship it for you as a gift.

As for Amazon packing these days (as a hermit, I do use Amazon more than the average bear) it really varies. You never know, but at least they're pretty good about returns.

The BEST packing I’ve ever seen was from E-Bay.  I ordered a Christmas cookie plate that I was searching for, as mine fell and broke.  The seller packed it soo good, I couldn’t believe it.  Between the packing and postage, she probably lost money on the deal.  E-Bay has practically everything I found out.  I tried it on a whim, and there it was.  So happy.

[shapeshifter]

14 minutes ago, kristen111 said:

The BEST packing I’ve ever seen was from E-Bay.  I ordered a Christmas cookie plate that I was searching for, as mine fell and broke.  The seller packed it soo good, I couldn’t believe it.  Between the packing and postage, she probably lost money on the deal.  E-Bay has practically everything I found out.  I tried it on a whim, and there it was.  So happy.

Hah! Did you get it from someone in Canada? Like my sister, LOL? 
She sold a lot of heirlooms and toys (whole Leggo sets) on Ebay these past few years, and packs them so well that the buyers send her thank you notes!

[peacheslatour]

31 minutes ago, kristen111 said:

The BEST packing I’ve ever seen was from E-Bay.  I ordered a Christmas cookie plate that I was searching for, as mine fell and broke.  The seller packed it soo good, I couldn’t believe it.  Between the packing and postage, she probably lost money on the deal.  E-Bay has practically everything I found out.  I tried it on a whim, and there it was.  So happy.

I was looking for a DVD of Wuthering Heights a few years ago. Believe it or not Amazon had it for $700.00! On a whim I checked EBay. They had it for about $30.00. Of course it's in Korean but there is a menu to scroll down that puts it into English.

[RealHousewife]

When you have to fill out an entire page before you're told one line won't cut it. If my screen name is already taken, can't you let me know before I fill out a bunch of other stuff that will erase?

[peacheslatour]

1 hour ago, RealHousewife said:

When you have to fill out an entire page before you're told one line won't cut it. If my screen name is already taken, can't you let me know before I fill out a bunch of other stuff that will erase?

I have had to fill out the same online form about four hundred times to get my Covid booster just to be told "there are no slots open". Dammit Bartells, just tell me when you DO have slots open.

[RealHousewife]

We've discussed this before on here, but sleep shaming as far as night owls go!

I don't know why people don't want to understand some of us truly have a hard time falling asleep early. You think I like the lack of Vitamin D, working late at night, missing out on stuff, businesses being closed when I have time for my errands? I do not. It messes with my quality of life a great deal. 

I do my best not to consume caffeine past the morning. I try not to eat late. I will drink soothing teas to help. I deprive myself of the amount of sleep I need just so I don't sleep in even later than I could. If I had it my way, I'd get eight hours of sleep and be up at the crack of dawn. It's just hard for me. It's a lot like assuming someone who's overweight doesn't try to eat healthy and work out. 

[shapeshifter]

3 hours ago, RealHousewife said:

We've discussed this before on here, but sleep shaming as far as night owls go!

I don't know why people don't want to understand some of us truly have a hard time falling asleep early. You think I like the lack of Vitamin D, working late at night, missing out on stuff, businesses being closed when I have time for my errands? I do not. It messes with my quality of life a great deal. 

I do my best not to consume caffeine past the morning. I try not to eat late. I will drink soothing teas to help. I deprive myself of the amount of sleep I need just so I don't sleep in even later than I could. If I had it my way, I'd get eight hours of sleep and be up at the crack of dawn. It's just hard for me. It's a lot like assuming someone who's overweight doesn't try to eat healthy and work out. 

My middle daughter is an “owl“ who embraces it, despite her sisters “sleep shaming” her.   
You probably don’t need me to tell you that accepting that shame is Not going to lull you to sleep——but, just sayin.” 😉😴

[EtheltoTillie]

3 hours ago, RealHousewife said:

We've discussed this before on here, but sleep shaming as far as night owls go!

I don't know why people don't want to understand some of us truly have a hard time falling asleep early. You think I like the lack of Vitamin D, working late at night, missing out on stuff, businesses being closed when I have time for my errands? I do not. It messes with my quality of life a great deal. 

I do my best not to consume caffeine past the morning. I try not to eat late. I will drink soothing teas to help. I deprive myself of the amount of sleep I need just so I don't sleep in even later than I could. If I had it my way, I'd get eight hours of sleep and be up at the crack of dawn. It's just hard for me. It's a lot like assuming someone who's overweight doesn't try to eat healthy and work out. 

Yes to all this, and I really hate that they coined the term sleep hygiene to tell you what you should be doing. I just can’t do that stuff. You might as well tell me to walk on my head. 

Edited December 9, 2021 by GussieK

[theredhead77]

If anyone needs help finding COVID boosters let me know. I also suggest checking your local urgent cares instead of drug stores. My urgent care requires a telehealth screening for insurance purposes, to avoid the "urgent care" charge, but it's quick and easy 

[kristen111]

17 hours ago, shapeshifter said:

Hah! Did you get it from someone in Canada? Like my sister, LOL? 
She sold a lot of heirlooms and toys (whole Leggo sets) on Ebay these past few years, and packs them so well that the buyers send her thank you notes!

I think I might have saved her name .. I’ll look.  BTW, I broke down and called my Sister in Florida and spoke for an hour.  I felt better after that.  We spoke like nothing happened, which nothing specifically happened actually.  Btw, I had an MRI and saw Dr.  MRI said impingement lying on sciatic nerve causing numbness and pain.  Gave me more shots and recommended seein surgeon, but nothing guaranteed.  Thank for all your suggestions.  I appreciate it.

[TattleTeeny]

I didn’t know that sleep shaming was a thing! I am sometimes a bad sleeper, and I am not the person who can decide to go to sleep—to BED, maybe, but to SLEEP, no; I kind of have to just “pass out,” for lack of a better, healthier term.

[KittyMom4]

Wrong place.

Edited December 9, 2021 by BexKeps

[Cloud9Shopper]

Adults at work who act like little kids asking “Are we there yet?”

“Did you see this message? Just making sure.”

”How is Project XYZ coming?” Asked a few hours apart by two different people. First person complains to me that no one will answer her even though it’s not my job to keep on top of our freelancers. 

At least at my job the people who are most panicked about whether you saw something or how their projects are coming are the same people who need my help all the time because they have no clue what they are doing. Or they run a week late and blame someone else, and then try to rush me along when deadline time comes.

One of the people who asked me how XYZ was coming also kept asking me pointless questions and to huddle (Slack call) with her multiple times when she has a higher job title than me, yet I’m the one explaining everything to her. Well then, Karen and Janet, don’t throw hissy fits when I need longer to do your work. How do some of these barely competent people get senior XYZ or manager of ABC titles if they’re freaking clueless?

Edited December 9, 2021 by Cloud9Shopper

[ABay]

By getting other people to do their work and taking credit for it.

[SusanM]

Christmas shopping guilt trip peeve: Our local radio station keeps playing announcements reminding their listeners to "shop local this Christmas" and pushing the "spend money where your heart is" mantra.  Well, yes, totally agree but it would be nice if our local stores opened at night or even :gasp: on Sunday.  Those of us who work in the Big City end up shopping there or else ordering from Amazon or similar because by the time we get home at night only the chain stores are open.

If Mom and Pop stores want my business I am happy to oblige but they need to be open later than 4 or 5!

[athousandclowns]

23 hours ago, kristen111 said:

The BEST packing I’ve ever seen was from E-Bay.  I ordered a Christmas cookie plate that I was searching for, as mine fell and broke.  The seller packed it soo good, I couldn’t believe it.  Between the packing and postage, she probably lost money on the deal.  E-Bay has practically everything I found out.  I tried it on a whim, and there it was.  So happy.

It does depend on seller not across the board of eBay. I sold some of my mothers and my art glass last year in effort to down size and a large vase was going eventually New Zealand. The buyer a art glass collector, said to use any recycled box and use large bubble wrap with bubbles towards glass wrapped 3 times around. In the beginning I was buying sturdy boxes at office supply stores or using USPS flat rate priority boxes which often is not cheaper depending where it’s going.  I’ve received things from eBay sellers put in barely padded envelopes   Most sellers don’t want to refund money ( or get bad reviews) so will pack valuables well.   I now hate eBay because the amount of money they now take from the sale and shipping is ridiculous. You can only pay via pay pal now who are jerks about standing behind you when someone is being shifty.  This Christmas with specific toys my grandsons wanted were unavailable on Amazon or local stores many  would have it on eBay for $30-60 more than when available elsewhere.  Some Disney crap figures made in China.  Somehow I pulled it off without paying three times the value by by nagging  my kids to make lists  early. 

[RealHousewife]

Simply being rude or aggressive. That goes for in person and online. It's not that hard to be respectful of other people. 

[GaT]

8 hours ago, theredhead77 said:

If anyone needs help finding COVID boosters let me know. I also suggest checking your local urgent cares instead of drug stores. My urgent care requires a telehealth screening for insurance purposes, to avoid the "urgent care" charge, but it's quick and easy 

I got mine at my local Safeway (where I also got my original shots). Any supermarket that has a pharmacy probably has the shots.

[bilgistic]

5 hours ago, TattleTeeny said:

I didn’t know that sleep shaming was a thing! I am sometimes a bad sleeper, and I am not the person who can decide to go to sleep—to BED, maybe, but to SLEEP, no; I kind of have to just “pass out,” for lack of a better, healthier term.

I get sleep shamed for needing to take naps during family gatherings (overnight stays) after everyone has eaten and cleanup has happened, etc. I am an introvert and have social anxiety, so being around lot of people and noise wears me out. I'm sick of my mother sarcastically exclaiming, "Here's Sleeping Beauty!" when I emerge from a guest bedroom. I'm 47; let me live!

[Bastet]

5 hours ago, TattleTeeny said:

I didn’t know that sleep shaming was a thing!

Those of us whose natural sleep cycle is go to go sleep late and wake up late seem to grasp the fact those whose natural cycle is to go to sleep early and wake up early are simply wired differently; we're not prone to busting into someone's bedroom at night and demanding, "Why are you in bed already?!" 

But, boy, do a lot of morning people feel free to interrupt our sleep in the morning, or make fun of us for it, or imply we're lazy because of it.  Plus have no sympathy for how frequently we have to get up completely against our natural wake time, yet would pitch a thousand fits if they had to stay up past their natural sleep time that often.

I don't begin to care if someone is a morning person.  I do care if they think that makes them superior, because that schedule is the "right" one to have.

[TattleTeeny]

I tend to be a late-night and early(ish)-morning person. I almost never need an alarm to wake up for work, especially now that I have no commute.

[RealHousewife]

Okay, I've got a a bit of controversial one. I've posted about the time and energy it takes being a woman being a pet peeve before, and this relates to that. 

A pet peeve of mine is women being shamed for liking men with good jobs or liking for a guy to pay on dates. These women are not necessarily gold diggers or users of men or antifeminist. I'd argue they're more for women and equality. 

I know the feminists have talked about the unrealistic beauty standards for a long time, but let's be honest. Those will never change. The standards just get higher and higher. 

Women already spend more on basic grooming products and hygiene. That goes for the most low maintenance of us. Then factor in how much time and energy a woman spends getting ready for a date-the hair, makeup, nails, and the women who try to look like IG models literally spend what are salaries for most folks to look that way. The least a man can do is pay for dinner when all he does is shower and shave one area. 

Women will always be the ones who get pregnant, carry babies, give birth, and breastfeed. This can affect how far you get in your career, so it makes sense to want a guy who does well to support the family when you are vulnerable and make up for any time you miss from work. 

To all the men here, I still say gold diggers are gross. You are so much more than your job. I'd take a nice poor man who loves me over a jerk with money any day. But there are reasons nice girls who aren't superficial like a guy with a job and stability, especially if she wants kids. Women are more likely to deal with poverty during retirement. If we're not careful, we can end up really screwed. 

Edited December 9, 2021 by RealHousewife

[peacheslatour]

Quote

To all the men here, I still say gold diggers are gross. Your are so much more than your job. I'd take a nice poor man who loves me over a jerk with money any day. But there are reasons nice girls who aren't superficial like a guy with a job and stability, especially if she wants kids. Women are more likely to deal with poverty during retirement. If we're not careful, we can end up really screwed. 

The way men value sex as the be all and end all of life should be more than happy to shell out. They will twist themselves into pretzels and practically do back flips, lying, pretending they want friendship and then fuck zoning us. If they value it so damn much, why should it be free? Nothing else is.

[honybr]

2 hours ago, SusannahM said:

Christmas shopping guilt trip peeve: Our local radio station keeps playing announcements reminding their listeners to "shop local this Christmas" and pushing the "spend money where your heart is" mantra.  Well, yes, totally agree but it would be nice if our local stores opened at night or even :gasp: on Sunday.  Those of us who work in the Big City end up shopping there or else ordering from Amazon or similar because by the time we get home at night only the chain stores are open.

If Mom and Pop stores want my business I am happy to oblige but they need to be open later than 4 or 5!

Say it again for the people in the back!

My random driving pet peeve:  people who turn in front of you going fast to beat you but then slow down.  Stick with that same urgency you had while turning or just wait.  

[Bastet]

10 minutes ago, RealHousewife said:

The least a man can do is pay for dinner when all he does is shower and shave one area. 

Are you talking first date, or every date?

My policy is pretty straightforward:  If I accept a dinner invitation from someone I've newly met, I expect them to pay; they did the inviting, that's how it goes.  If I invite to dinner someone I've newly met, I expect to pay; I did the inviting, that's how it goes.  Our genders and how much time and money each of us spent getting ready (it doesn't take me much of either) are irrelevant to me.

But once a relationship - again, whether friendship or romantic - has formed, where going out to dinner together has become a regular thing by now, we're not really inviting each other to dinner in the same way other than on special occasions, e.g. taking the other out for their birthday or to celebrate a promotion.  It's more routine making of suggestions like "Wanna go try that new Italian place Friday?", and in those cases I expect to either split the tab each time or alternate who pays - I get this one, they get the next one, etc.

[RealHousewife]

Just now, Bastet said:

Are you talking first date, or every date?

My policy is pretty straightforward:  If I accept a dinner invitation from someone I've newly met, I expect them to pay; they did the inviting, that's how it goes.  If I invite to dinner someone I've newly met, I expect to pay; I did the inviting, that's how it goes.  Our genders and how much time and money each of us spent getting ready (it doesn't take me much of either) are irrelevant to me.

But once a relationship - again, whether friendship or romantic - has formed, where going out to dinner together has become a regular thing by now, we're not really inviting each other to dinner in the same way other than on special occasions, e.g. taking the other out for their birthday or to celebrate a promotion.  It's more routine making of suggestions like "Wanna go try that new Italian place Friday?", and in those cases I expect to either split the tab each time or alternate who pays - I get this one, they get the next one, etc.

I wouldn't ask a man out on a first date, but I do treat my friends when I invite them. (I also offer to pay on first dates and try to contribute somehow.) It gets looser for me the longer you see someone. Once you are a couple, it is indeed different. To avoid getting too OT, no, I don't expect men to indefinitely pay for meals. The only time I'd expect that is if I were a SAHM without income or something. Where I am different is I see the reasoning behind a lot of views that sound outdated. We haven't made enough progress in certain areas. 

[peacheslatour]

6 minutes ago, RealHousewife said:

I wouldn't ask a man out on a first date, but I do treat my friends when I invite them. (I also offer to pay on first dates and try to contribute somehow.) It gets looser for me the longer you see someone. Once you are a couple, it is indeed different. To avoid getting too OT, no, I don't expect men to indefinitely pay for meals. The only time I'd expect that is if I were a SAHM without income or something. Where I am different is I see the reasoning behind a lot of views that sound outdated. We haven't made enough progress in certain areas. 

Agreed. I haven't been on a date in over forty years but I think whoever does the inviting should be the one to pay. I was addressing RealHousewife's  observation:

A pet peeve of mine is women being shamed for liking men with good jobs or liking for a guy to pay on dates. These women are not necessarily gold diggers or users of men or antifeminist. I'd argue they're more for women and equality. 

I see so many men saying women are shallow or gold diggers. I don't blame young women for expecting a certain level of maturity from men they date. Having a decent job and being able to offer something beyond a romp in the hay is just common sense.

[SusanM]

31 minutes ago, RealHousewife said:

. To avoid getting too OT, no, I don't expect men to indefinitely pay for meals.

My outlook on this is that the person with the higher income should be doing most of the paying when it comes to spendy kinds of dates.  If the incomes are equal that's a different thing but unless things have changed a lot since my dating days guys almost always make more money and have more disposable income.  That said if the person being treated expects lobster at every meal and is always pushing to be taken to expensive venues then buddy/betty needs to get out of the shallow end of the pool.

Edited December 9, 2021 by SusannahM

[RealHousewife]

32 minutes ago, SusannahM said:

My outlook on this is that the person with the higher income should be doing most of the paying when it comes to spendy kinds of dates.  If the incomes are equal that's a different thing but unless things have changed a lot since my dating days guys almost always make more money and have more disposable income.  That said if the person being treated expects lobster at every meal and is always pushing to be taken to expensive venues then buddy/betty needs to get out of the shallow end of the pool.

This is actually one of the factors I was going to mention but took out because I didn't want to get too OT. I just think things should be as fair as possible to both men and women. For example, if a woman is making the $ and the man is a SAHD, I see nothing wrong with that and obviously the woman would be doing all the paying. 

Haha, that's definitely not me. I'm a skinny vegetarian whose stomach gets full quickly, and I don't drink either. (I can pig out on junk food at home though.) My meals are about as affordable as it gets. :)

[bilgistic]

We had our office "virtual holiday party" today, and it was just as dumb as it sounds. I was in the office. I'd asked our office manager a few days ago if she could let me know ahead of time what she was ordering for lunch because of the gastrointestinal problems I've been having.* She also knows I'm a vegetarian. I found out yesterday she was ordering pizza from Mellow Mushroom. She didn't offer to let me get something separate for myself.

I went into the kitchen today when the food arrived, and saw four pizzas, all of which had meat on them. I asked, "Is there no cheese pizza?" She said, "Not many people eat those. I got some salad!"

If I had a dollar for every time someone said I could eat a motherfucking salad, I would be a millionaire by now.

Also, she MADE A PLATE for the CFO and took it to him.

I dished out my shitty iceberg lettuce salad and skulked back to my desk.

*I finally go to see the gastroenterologist on December 17. My symptoms haven't changed at all. Over a month of this now.

[Bastet]

31 minutes ago, bilgistic said:

I went into the kitchen today when the food arrived, and saw four pizzas, all of which had meat on them. I asked, "Is there no cheese pizza?" She said, "Not many people eat those. I got some salad!"

That is so damn rude not to order a vegetarian option (of the main course everyone else is getting; the salad is a side dish and doesn't count!).  And so what even if it turned you were the only one who ate it?  You could take the rest home with you or save it in the office refrigerator for another day, just like others will take home/stick in the fridge anything left over from the other pizzas. 

We don't have Mellow Mushroom here, so I looked up the menu.  Four of their specialty pizzas are vegetarian.  Then there's a plain ol' cheese pizza.  And even a vegan pizza. Plus you can select your own combination of sauce, cheese(s), and toppings. This is not a place that makes it difficult for vegetarians to eat.  And I'm quite sure the company could afford an extra pizza.  She simply chose not to care that you wouldn't have any.  Gee, that really says, "Thanks for the good work this year, and happy holidays," doesn't it?

Also, I could barf at her taking the CFO a plate.  Children get their food dished up for them; adults walk into the damn kitchen and get it themselves.

Edited December 10, 2021 by Bastet

[Cloud9Shopper]

1 hour ago, bilgistic said:

We had our office "virtual holiday party" today, and it was just as dumb as it sounds. I was in the office. I'd asked our office manager a few days ago if she could let me know ahead of time what she was ordering for lunch because of the gastrointestinal problems I've been having.* She also knows I'm a vegetarian. I found out yesterday she was ordering pizza from Mellow Mushroom. She didn't offer to let me get something separate for myself.

I went into the kitchen today when the food arrived, and saw four pizzas, all of which had meat on them. I asked, "Is there no cheese pizza?" She said, "Not many people eat those. I got some salad!"

If I had a dollar for every time someone said I could eat a motherfucking salad, I would be a millionaire by now.

Also, she MADE A PLATE for the CFO and took it to him.

I dished out my shitty iceberg lettuce salad and skulked back to my desk.

*I finally go to see the gastroenterologist on December 17. My symptoms haven't changed at all. Over a month of this now.

I hate virtual parties. We had a virtual baby shower for my sister in May of last year, and my mom and I privately agreed that while we didn’t have much choice, neither of us were going to look back in five years and say “Remember how much fun Sister’s virtual shower was?” 

Anyway I’m sorry your office manager was so rude! 

[partofme]

1 hour ago, bilgistic said:

"Is there no cheese pizza?" She said, "Not many people eat those. I got some salad!"

This is the craziest thing I have ever heard.  Who doesn’t order cheese pizza for an office party?  I would have been pissed, it’s the only kind I eat.  We’re there people attending the party virtually as well?   Last year my office had a virtual party, I’m glad nothing has been mentioned so far this year and am hopeful we won’t have one. 

[bilgistic]

There were nine people in the office (four meat pizzas for eight people--couldn't make one of those cheese!) and everyone in the office and at home (various locations/cities) participated in the virtual "party".

I don't get the new no-cheese-pizza thing at all. She's ordered from Mellow Mushroom before and gotten cheese pizza, and it was all gone by the end of the day. How did I know? Because I took the meat pizza leftovers home to my boyfriend.

A few months ago, the CFO asked another employee, who doesn't work for him, to stop and get him half and half on her way in to the office. Not only is he able to walk to and from the kitchen, but I have personally seen him getting out of his car in the morning, so I assume he can drive himself to the store. He's in his late 50s and in way better shape than I am, but then, that's not really saying much.

Thank god I don't work for him.

Edited December 10, 2021 by bilgistic

[bilgistic]

29 minutes ago, Cloud9Shopper said:

I hate virtual parties. We had a virtual baby shower for my sister in May of last year, and my mom and I privately agreed that while we didn’t have much choice, neither of us were going to look back in five years and say “Remember how much fun Sister’s virtual shower was?” 

Anyway I’m sorry your office manager was so rude! 

We had a "virtual baby shower" in the summer for the attorney who works with us. It was so cringey. I have a problem in general for several reasons with baby showers for people with whom you work.

If all the people who still want to have parties want to get together and have them, great. Make it a choice for the rest of us. I'm scheduled to work from home on the day of the second(!!) holiday gathering next week (in-person, at a nearby restaurant), and I'm not driving across the county to go sit at a bar and grill with these people. No and no. You held me hostage me for an hour today and fed me shitty salad.

Edited December 10, 2021 by bilgistic

[Bastet]

38 minutes ago, partofme said:

This is the craziest thing I have ever heard.  Who doesn’t order cheese pizza for an office party?

Right?  If I was ordering four pizzas for an office party like this person was, I'd get: 1) a cheese pizza so those for whom at least one ingredient on every other pizza was something they don't like have something to eat, 2) a veggie pizza for vegetarians and those who want a slice of meat pizza, but then want something a little healthier for their other slice, 3) a basic pizza (like pepperoni and sausage) for people who don't want to get adventurous with their toppings, and 4) a specialty pizza - probably something with grilled chicken and a non-tomato sauce - that's a little outside the norm.

(I'd also get one pizza with a gluten-free crust if someone needed it [I'd send out an email asking]).

For salads, I'd get two: a caesar salad and a mixed greens (with several dressing options on the side).

If someone can't find anything among that variety of free food to eat, that's on them; you can't account for absolutely everything (especially since it's for coworkers not friends, so there's only so much you can know about everyone's tastes; you're not trying to make sure everyone has their favorite pizza, but that everyone has at least one pizza they'd be happy to eat).  But serving only four meat pizzas and one house salad, that's a total hosting fail.

Edited December 10, 2021 by Bastet

[Calvada]

Bastet, I agree with the pizza choices you made - perfect for a varied group.  At a place I worked several years ago, we had quarterly office lunches.  We had a committee that was in charge of ordering the food.  One time, we were going to have pizzas and there was someone  fairly new to the office who volunteered to do the ordering. She was eager to be a team player.  We said are you sure?  Yes, I've got this handled.  We said great, get a variety of toppings and some veggie options, and for the number of people we had, we order 6 pizzas. No problem, we could count on her.  What a fiasco.  It turned out she didn't like peppers, olives, onions, or mushrooms so decided that those toppings should not be on ANY pizza.  Also she didn't care for pepperoni.  We ended up with 2 cheese pizzas, 2 with just sausage, and 2 with Canadian bacon and pineapple - because that was her favorite combo.  We told her to also order 3 of of the large multi-serving salads that the restaurant offered; she ordered 3 single-serving green salads.  Oh, and just ranch dressing because "everyone" likes ranch dressing.  We thought she had misunderstood about the size of the salads we said she should order, but no, she went with the small ones "because no eats salad and it just goes to waste."  We all learned something that day!  We never let her order the food again.  

[Lady Whistleup]

My new pet peeve is the overuse of the word "toxic" and "toxins." 

For instance, "toxic work environment" I think should be reserved for situations where there is truly an abusive/retaliatory/coercive/harassing behavior. It's not when you simply don't like your boss, or get a work email off-hours.

I also hate how the wellness industry throws around "toxins" so they can sell their cleansing juices/energy healing sessions/crystals. Like I know someone who foolishly decided she needed a "liver detox" (never mind how your liver IS a detoxing organ) and bought these juices that had her puking and crapping for five days.

[JustHereForFood]

15 hours ago, bilgistic said:

We had a "virtual baby shower" in the summer for the attorney who works with us. It was so cringey. I have a problem in general for several reasons with baby showers for people with whom you work.

In my country we don't do baby showers at all, or at least I never heard about one, so I am already a bit confused by the whole concept, but that aside, I don't get why someone would go to a one for covorker. Is that not meant to be just for family and friends? 

[bilgistic]

28 minutes ago, JustHereForFood said:

In my country we don't do baby showers at all, or at least I never heard about one, so I am already a bit confused by the whole concept, but that aside, I don't get why someone would go to a one for covorker. Is that not meant to be just for family and friends? 

Yes. Yes, it is.

[SusanM]

32 minutes ago, JustHereForFood said:

Is that not meant to be just for family and friends? 

Depending on your work environment you can be very close to your co-workers so them throwing a shower for you (bridal, baby, whatever) wouldn't be all that surprising.  I work in a hospital library and all my colleagues are women.  We've had a few showers over the years but very low key.  More an excuse to have coffee and cake on company time really 😄.

[peacheslatour]

42 minutes ago, JustHereForFood said:

In my country we don't do baby showers at all, or at least I never heard about one, so I am already a bit confused by the whole concept, but that aside, I don't get why someone would go to a one for covorker. Is that not meant to be just for family and friends? 

According to my very proper mother, showers should not be thrown by close family members. We relaxed that rule for aunties.

[SusanM]

42 minutes ago, peacheslatour said:

According to my very proper mother, showers should not be thrown by close family members. We relaxed that rule for aunties.

Years ago someone I knew very casually  (not a close friend, or even a friend really)  basically threw herself a baby shower as no one stepped up to do it for her.  I suspect your mother would have reacted the same way my mother did "That is simply not done!".  

[PRgal]

51 minutes ago, peacheslatour said:

According to my very proper mother, showers should not be thrown by close family members. We relaxed that rule for aunties.

Interesting.  I was taught that you shouldn't throw one for yourself, nothing about family members.  I know several whose sisters threw them one (especially ones who are first gen Canadian born/raised and came from cultures where showers were not done.  Sometimes friends, especially coworkers are too nervous about throwing one for them because they're worried the mom-to-be would be offended.  As for me, well, I'm pretty open about not being culturally "traditional," so people should know.  However, because my son was carried by a surrogate, a lot of people didn't know what to do with me.  We ended up doing a gender reveal/shower, with an old friend/former neighbour being host).  

[peacheslatour]

11 minutes ago, SusannahM said:

Years ago someone I knew very casually  (not a close friend, or even a friend really)  basically threw herself a baby shower as no one stepped up to do it for her.  I suspect your mother would have reacted the same way my mother did "That is simply not done!".  

Oh, I can just hear her now!

[Jane Tuesday]

On 12/9/2021 at 7:09 PM, bilgistic said:

I went into the kitchen today when the food arrived, and saw four pizzas, all of which had meat on them. I asked, "Is there no cheese pizza?" She said, "Not many people eat those. I got some salad!"

I feel your pain. As a semi-practicing Catholic, I observe Lent, which among other things means I don't eat meat on Fridays during those 40 days. I have a monthly charitable board meeting, and every year they screw up my food. Once the chairperson forgot entirely, once I missed the call-out at the bottom of the meeting request, once someone else took my special meal, and so on. And because I live in the Midwest, even the salad has bacon. 

I finally asked, why don't you just order fish (for everyone)? The chairperson said, "well, not everyone likes fish." Well, I don't like sitting down to a three-hour "lunch" meeting with no food.

Once, when I switched departments, my old department threw a carry-in for me. This time, it was Good Friday, which means no snacking, in addition to no meat. The only thing they brought that didn't have meat was an enormous cupcake. If I ate it, it would have had to be my "meal", so I took it to be polite and gave it to the receptionist on my way to McDonald's.

And this is in a VERY Catholic town, my company's founders are big supporters of the local Catholic school, etc. The concept of Lent is very well-understood here, and my department was very aware that I'm Catholic. People just don't care enough to pay attention.