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Pet Peeves: Aka Things That Make You Go "Gah!"


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Your Pet Peeves are your Pet Peeves and you're welcome to express them here. However, that does not mean that you can use this topic to go after your fellow posters; being annoyed by something they say or do is not a Pet Peeve.

If there's something you need clarification on, please remember: it's always best to address a fellow poster directly; don't talk about what they said, talk to them. Politely, of course! Everyone is entitled to their opinion and should be treated with respect. (If need be, check out the how to have healthy debates guidelines for more).

While we're happy to grant the leniency that was requested about allowing discussions to go beyond Pet Peeves, please keep in mind that this is still the Pet Peeves topic. Non-pet peeves discussions should be kept brief, be related to a pet peeve and if a fellow poster suggests the discussion may be taken to Chit Chat or otherwise tries to course-correct the topic, we ask that you don't dismiss them. They may have a point.

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Ooooo--Quof, wish I'd thought to say Bite me, Sanctimommy!  I'm going to remember that because this chick deserved to have that said to her.  Thanks Pet Peeve friends for your comments...I feel better now.  I understand that travel (esp air travel) is tough as hell on little kids and try to ignore the noise.  The father was a jerk too because the flight attendant had to talk to him (for at least a minute) about turning off his computer as we were preparing to land. He kept saying he needed to finish something.  What a family!

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Some of us didn't fly anywhere until we were grown and able to pay for flights ourselves. I don't think I got on a plane until I was 21. Maybe 18--I can't remember exactly. All school trips out of state were by bus. Ah, "the good ol' days".

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This brings to mind a pet peeve of mine:  when somebody criticizes something, another person will inevitably pipe up, "Can you do better?".  That's a specious argument.  No, I have never made a movie but I don't think I need to have done so in order to say that Adam Sandler's film (pick one, any one) sucks.  I don't need to be a Cordon Bleu graduate to notice when food is cold or burned.  To paraphrase Marcia Brady, I don't need to build a watch in order to tell time.

 

Which is not to say that all opinions have equal value.  If you're against a political candidate (pick one, any one) because you don't like his or her voice or laugh or choice of spouse, I don't have to take you seriously.

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The best response I've ever heard to "can you do better" was "I'd be ashamed if I couldn't", from The Closer.

 

A friend and I went to see The Nutcracker and were, unsurprisingly, surrounded by children. All of them were remarkably well behaved. Except for the 2 nonstop talkers behind us, ignored by their parents and halfheartedly shushed by their grandmother once. Mom and dad had a spat during intermission which resulted in her dramatically donning her bubble coat and hitting both of us in the head with it. We were so hoping they'd all leave. Alas, the children were even worse in the 2nd act. The little girl was far too young to be taken to a theater. I believe they were speaking Russian and I mention that only because when I travel, I often think how well-behaved children in other countries are compared to the whiny, entitled brats I encounter everyday with their whiny, entitled parents. But this time, I was proud of our little countrypeople.

 

Btw, who the hell can afford $200+ tickets--per seat--to take tiny children to the theater?!

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Maybe I'm getting cranky in my middle age but I'm more tolerant of crying babies on planes than I am of whining, TMI so-called adults on planes.

 

Constantly crying babies drive me crazy (and, yes, I do have a child; it doesn't make a difference), but I know they can't always help it. The mother refusing to buckle up her child would have been the tipping point for me -- not the crying child. One, you paid for a seat for the kid. Use it. Two, the child is safer buckled in than in your lap. If you don't want your child to be safe, OK, but don't blame the airline if something happens.

 

We haven't even taken our son to a movie theater yet, and he's 4. We're not sure he'll sit through a whole movie yet. Also, I'm cheap. I'm not paying movie theater prices for someone who won't watch the whole movie. We almost took him to The Good Dinosaur, but then his father wasn't sure he wanted to take him to a movie in which the daddy dies saving his child. Of course, that's how you can tell Disney is involved. The parents die.

 

The boy was quite disappointed he didn't get to go to Star Wars with us. He really thought he was going to get to see it. His father told him that in three years, he can see the original Star Wars. (That's how old his father was when he first saw it in the theater. I was two years older. We're the old parents of a preschooler.)

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Thanks, but that's what makes the story all the more unusual:  Nobody died...I was buying sympathy cards to just have on hand.  I find it better to buy them with a clear head then I can write a note and mail them right away when I need to!

 

This is a brilliant, if not sadly insightful, idea!  I do that for the kidlet's friends birthdays.

 

 

Unless you're offering me sympathies about my stolen porch statue from up-thread which I'm still pretty pissed about.

 

Lol!!  Allow me to tender them now.  I missed most holiday discussions, something about being on my computer at home when I can do it at work... :P     But man do I get it.  A few Christmases ago I placed a pair of ficus trees (ficai?) anyway on the porch as my raggedy and lame attempt at decoration.   Dressed them in white sparkly lights down to their pots.   I get home one day, the pots, the trees, the lights, the damn wicker baskets they were in, all gone.  I'll go as far as to say, I can understand theft for gain.  Someone please tell me who the fuck is buying a pair of artificial ficus trees with non working (they'd been torn from the sockets) lights attached?

 

Well, I just got back from MN for Xmas.  On the way to Minneapolis, we were flying in first class (got upgraded--what a thrill, initially).  Unfortunately, before the plane left the gate, a 2 year old two seats behind & across the aisle started screaming when it was time to be buckled in.  The screams were nonstop & piercing. The flight attendants told mom that we couldn't take off until the kid was buckled.  I turned around (the screams were really that bad) & she caught me looking at her and said, "Do you have children?" and the way she said it seemed ok so I said "no".  That's when she ripped me apart for looking at them & accused me of rolling my eyes (I swear I didn't), & if I'd had children I'd understand. Then she decided to take on the flight attendants.  When they returned, saying the child was too old to sit on her lap, she said, in a very condescending voice, "Well, age really has nothing to do with it...it's size that matters".  They called some place to get advice & suddenly she got the kid buckled (cause that plane wasn't moving from the gate--wish they had booted the whole family off at that point).  I can't imagine smart mouthing flight attendants. The rest of the trip we all had to hear lessons in phonics in a very loud voice as she taught/read Sigrid her stories.

 

Then, while in a Super Target in Savage, I experienced Minnesota Not-Nice. I had 3 items and was behind a customer having a nice chat with the cashier as her items were rung up slowly.  I noticed the cashier beside us looking bored.  So I began to collect my stuff & was going to her when my original cashier said in a snotty way, "Oh, we're almost done here; you don't have to leave".  The bored cashier got a customer before I could get to her so I came back and it was my turn. The cashier sarcastically said, "See, that wasn't so painful, was it?".  Man!  In the land of Minnesota Nice, I couldn't believe it.

 

Other than that, Christmas was fun and it snowed and we went sledding and drank hot cider.  I'm glad to be home!

 

My spine and I know that lady.  On every flight I take I'm sitting in the seat directly in front them.   It wouldn'tve mattered if you're a parent or not, she was literally, a dick from the gate.  Using the question as some jerky implication that you don't understand kids or parenting.  It's not that deep.  Sigrid (perfect btw lol) was two.   A toddler acting a natural ass fool is not the mystifying experience she thought it was.  We are, however, at a loss about her orangutanatry.  If it's not a matter of age but size then what you do is put your whole annoying ass family on a private charter or better yet, hermetically seal yourselves into a Honda Odyssey and exclusively pluck each other's last nerves.  I can imagine mouthing off to a flight attendant because people like her have the audacity to be indignant that we don't find her or her special snowflake brand of parenting adorable.  My sentence of choice would've been that refusing to comply with in flight federal aviation regulations is a crime punishable by, at a minimum, removal from the aircraft.  Get this heffa offa my plane or initial here {napkin contract} acknowledging that ya'll just bought me this ticket.   Old stink feet heffa.  (I don't know why, it just felt right).

 

Happy Holidays!!  :D  

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Yes, I'd have been respectful so as to not have my ass thrown in some TSA brig, but I absolutely would be asking the flight attendants to do their job.  You haven't left the gate yet -- if some entitled jackass won't obey the rules after multiple requests, they get escorted off the plane.  If you don't enforce that, and ruin my flight, the company is going to hear about it.

 

And auntlada's story illustrates my issue with taking very young children (who can't yet be reasonably expected to understand and control their behavior) on airplanes unless unavoidable -- here is a couple rightly worried about their child's ability to behave in the cinema, where they can just get up and leave if the kid starts melting down.  Well, that's not an option on the plane.  We're all stuck.  It's not fair to do to people.

 

And, yeah, WTF with not wanting to buckle your child into a seat.  How 'bout you listen to the flight attendant who survived a plane crash, and watch her haunted face as she talks about the seated kids surviving and the lap children she, per procedure, instructed the parents to brace on the floor dying.  As she talks about the shell-shocked mother saying, "You told me to put him on the floor, and now he's dead."  Get that kid off your lap and buckle him/her into the seat.

Edited by Bastet
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Lol!! I put that in a loooong list of peeves in a thread I don't remember anymore.   Grammar Police or something like that.   If I close my eyes and concentrate I can almost see what an intensive purpose is.  Almost.   Now, please tell me what "should of" is supposed to mean.

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Lol!! I put that in a loooong list of peeves in a thread I don't remember anymore.   Grammar Police or something like that.   If I close my eyes and concentrate I can almost see what an intensive purpose is.  Almost.   Now, please tell me what "should of" is supposed to mean.

 

It's supposed to be should HAVE. Or it should be spelled as should've. Same thing with "could of" and "would of." GACK.

 

I saw "would of"--twice--in a post on this site and was suitably horrified. Other places, sure, but here? It made me very sad.

 

 

You would think so, wouldn't you? But I also it's for when they mean its. And don't get me started again on typing numerals when the words should be SPELLED OUT! Okay, I'll be good. I will BE good, and shut up right now.

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It's supposed to be should HAVE. Or it should be spelled as should've. Same thing with "could of" and "would of." GACK.

 

 

 

You would think so, wouldn't you? But I also it's for when they mean its. And don't get me started again on typing numerals when the words should be SPELLED OUT! Okay, I'll be good. I will BE good, and shut up right now.

Do you mean typing 4 for "for" or typing 4 for "four"? In posts here, I have more tolerance for the latter, although at work I don't let people do that. I never have tolerance for the former (although I wouldn't say anything here -- I would just ignore that person's posts).

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Do you mean typing 4 for "for" or typing 4 for "four"? In posts here, I have more tolerance for the latter, although at work I don't let people do that. I never have tolerance for the former (although I wouldn't say anything here -- I would just ignore that person's posts).

 

The former. I don't mind the latter so much, but the former, for sure. It's just nails on a chalkboard for me.

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I refuse to communicate with people who type in text speak other than in texts.  I speak English, not Bingo.

 

BWAAAAAAAAA!!!  You guys?  This is a slippery slope we're about to go down.  

 

to, too and two

lose and loose

their, they're and there

 

I'll be getting popcorn.  discuss....

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Sounds like we need a link to this thread: "LITERALLY!" and Other Offenders on the Grammar Police Docket

Unfortunately, we are not allowed to talk about real people who are grammatically challenged-that thread is for characters on television shows who suffer from this malady.

BWAAAAAAAAA!!! You guys? This is a slippery slope we're about to go down.

to, too and two

lose and loose

their, they're and there

I'll be getting popcorn. discuss....

And then there is your when the person means you're- you know, you are.

Edited by GHScorpiosRule
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Zaldamo, there is nothing to discuss. Anyone with a high school diploma should be able to spell and use each of those words correctly.

 

And GHScorpiosRule (I'm a Scorpio, by the way.  Not BTW), are you rich? And cute?

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This has probably been mentioned in 62 pages (we're an oft-peeved bunch here, aren't we?), but:

"For all intensive purposes ..."

Come on.

I just saw this in one of the Real Housewives threads. What shocks me is how many grown adults who think lose is spelled loose. Don't even get me started on your/you're. I once wrote out your and you're for my 7 year old granddaughter and asked her the difference, then asked her to write them both in sentences. She got it right.

I'm probably guilty of the 4 versus four thing. I get confused on that one every once in a while. The its/it's thing has never really bothered me too much.

Edited by Maharincess
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And GHScorpiosRule (I'm a Scorpio, by the way.  Not BTW), are you rich? And cute?

 

I see what you did there! I'm actually a Pisces, my moniker comes from love of the Scorpios on General Hospital-RobertFucking!Scorpio/Anna Devane Scorpio and their daughter, Robin Scorpio. See? GH...Scorpios...THEY Rule!

 

Ahem.

 

Well, I've been told I'm attractive, but not rich. Does this mean, no? If so, can we at least be..friends? I know, I know, that is such a cliche...so, can we?

Edited by GHScorpiosRule
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I'm schizophrenic with my Oxford comma use; I probably use it more often than not, but I don't always use it.

 

I also type two spaces after a period, and will probably die without ever having made the adjustment to one.  It's just too ingrained.

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Loose/lose - I once proofread something my former boss had written, and he spelled "lose"  as "LOOSE"  several times.    I corrected it, he corrected it back, insisting he was right.   I think I was able to convince him, but it was only temporary. 

A lot of our work documents carry that misspelling, because that's the way he believes the word is spelled.   He has since moved on to another job, but his error has lived on, because he made it so many times.

 

Currently, a co-worker has picked up the habit of using "whenever"  instead of "when".  It drives me crazy.  Those are not the same words.  Sometimes, it's not a big deal, it's clear what she means.   But other times it leads to misunderstanding. 

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Whenever instead of when drives me insane! It just sounds ridiculous to me when somebody says something like "whenever I started kindergarten". Ok, exactly how many times did you start kindergarten dumb ass?

The me/I thing gets to me too. I was taught in 2nd or 3rd grade to remove the other person from the sentence. You wouldn't say "me went to the store".

Backformore, I can't believe your boss corrected it back! I don't know if that's funny or sad.

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I used to LOVE diagramming sentences! I was in the fifth grade in 1984-85 when I did it. I used a little ruler so that all my lines were perfectly straight. How's that for nerdy?

My boss tells me that grammar and punctuation "aren't that important" in the booklets we create to sell multi-million-dollar buildings. They are read by millionaire investors and firms with big money backing them. Yeah, I'm sure all those folks read at a low level.

I want to strangle him when he says that. I try to check any edits after he makes them, because it's as if the man is scared of hyphens and commas.

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Whenever instead of when drives me insane! It just sounds ridiculous to me when somebody says something like "whenever I started kindergarten". Ok, exactly how many times did you start kindergarten dumb ass?

The me/I thing gets to me too. I was taught in 2nd or 3rd grade to remove the other person from the sentence. You wouldn't say "me went to the store".

Backformore, I can't believe your boss corrected it back! I don't know if that's funny or sad.

Grammar lesson, please: so when do you use "whenever," and when do you use "when"?

 

Yes, the me/I thing grates my nerves. It happens so much on television, usually when people are trying to sound smart. "Fitz, I just can't imagine a future for you and I."  Ahhhhh!!!!

 

And your former boss sounds like a total dick, backformore (no offense). I'm glad he moved on. Now you just have to fix your co-worker. 

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Yes, the me/I thing grates my nerves. It happens so much on television, usually when people are trying to sound smart. "Fitz, I just can't imagine a future for you and I."  Ahhhhh!!!!

 

 

I swannee, just reading that example is like fingernails on a blackboard (and that saying is going to need to be replaced pretty soon as more & more folks don't know what a blackboard is).

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"My friends and me" bothers me a lot less than "for you and I," especially in conversation.

 

I can't get behind a singular "they," either. In casual conversation, it's not so bad, and I catch myself doing it, but in writing, I expect people to use language more precisely. That is one of the biggest things I fix at work -- along with changing pronouns for companies and schools to "it" from "they." I used to have to change pronouns for people from "that" to "who" a lot, until I explained to the people doing it that people are whos unless they hate Christmas. It usually took a bit for them to understand what I meant.

 

I swannee

 

Did you grow up in the South or do (did?) people use that phrase elsewhere? I remember my grandmother, aunt and mother used to say, "I swann." I've always wondered where it came from. I never hear anyone saying it any more.

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I have found my people. Should of is my biggest grammar peeve. It actually makes me want to tear my hair out when I see it, and I see it quite frequently teaching high school.  It's a good thing I'm not an English teacher, because I would've gone around the bend by now.  As it is, I still correct their grammar.  Too, two and to they're not too bad with usually.  The usage of their, there and they're and you're, your are usually atrocious though.  It's like no one ever taught them what the apostrophe was actually for.

 

I'm schizophrenic with my Oxford comma use; I probably use it more often than not, but I don't always use it.

 

I also type two spaces after a period, and will probably die without ever having made the adjustment to one.  It's just too ingrained.

 

I also go back and forth on my usage of the Oxford comma and I still put two spaces after  a period and probably always will.  It's just how we learned to type back in the day.  It's muscle memory at this point, and I have no control over it.

 

I used to LOVE diagramming sentences! I was in the fifth grade in 1984-85 when I did it. I used a little ruler so that all my lines were perfectly straight. How's that for nerdy?

My boss tells me that grammar and punctuation "aren't that important" in the booklets we create to sell multi-million-dollar buildings. They are read by millionaire investors and firms with big money backing them. Yeah, I'm sure all those folks read at a low level.

I want to strangle him when he says that. I try to check any edits after he makes them, because it's as if the man is scared of hyphens and commas.

 

I remember loving diagramming sentences too.  They definitely don't do that in schools anymore.  Hell, they barely teach any grammar at all.  I think we need to go back to basics on that.  Grammar is important, and not just in English class. If I read something riddled with grammar errors, it is definitely going to have an effect on my perception of what the person is trying to say.  I literally will not engage in a text conversation with someone who replaces words with single letters. Sorry, no.  Take your u, r and k, and go. 

 

That being said, I still get lay and lie messed up every time.  I have a mental block, but I know it, and look it up every time so I don't make a mistake.

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Did you grow up in the South or do (did?) people use that phrase elsewhere? I remember my grandmother, aunt and mother used to say, "I swann." I've always wondered where it came from. I never hear anyone saying it any more.

Nope...I'm originally from NYS but I lived in Raleigh for 22 years and loved that saying from the day I first heard it.  I think it was invented because folks didn't want to say, "I swear" (that wouldn't be polite or proper or somethin').

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As long as we're talking grammatical pet peeves -here's a slang usage  I hope to live  to see  the end of: 'sick' as being used in place of  terrific, wonderful and/ro (as in 'That new Katy Perry tune is so SICK!'). Well, I managed to outlive 'jive' , 'jamming' and seem to be on the verge of  surviving 'awesome' [though not  yet '__-sauce'] so maybe I can make it the end of the 'sick' tunnel. LOL

Edited by Blergh
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If we're talking slang, I think the "on fleek" thing is quite possibly the stupidest slang term I've heard in a long damned time. ((ex: "Her makeup is on fleek!"))

It's almost as stupid as the current cool kid put-down, "What are those?" I had to have a fellow teacher explain that one to me---apparently it's very cool for kids to use this one-liner ludicrousness on each other when verbally sparring, which basically means they're pointing out faults on the other party for superiority's sake. Either way, it's such a lame line.

Also, if I never hear "deez nuts" or "your mama" uttered by a kid ever again, it'll be too soon. At least the "that's what he/she said" thing is good for a cheap laugh now and then.

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"Deez nuts" has been around at least since I was in middle and high school in the late 1980s-early 1990s. "Your mama" has been around since the Dark Ages.

"On fleek" makes me "stabby".

Edited by bilgistic
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Did any of you see the stories about teachers banning words like "said"? I saw it in the Wall Street Journal. You can't read the story without a subscription, but Slate had a response, and I just found this article in Education Week.

Agree with the Slate guy.  "This brings back my worst memories of my worst teachers", I shuddered.

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Grammar lesson, please: so when do you use "whenever," and when do you use "when"?

"Whenever" is used when you mean every time you do something.

It's the difference between saying "when I went to Florida I saw Mickey Mouse" ,and. "Whenever I go to Florida, I always see Mickey Mouse". The first means it happened once, the second means, this is what I do every time I go to Florida.

The co-worker I was talking about would say stuff like "whenever I met with him yesterday, he said..........." at first I would think she meant he said the same thing several times In one day, which made no sense. Then I realized she actually meant WHEN, which is something that makes sense. I swear, every day I work with her, she says at least one "whenever". She's the only person I've heard do this, I hope it's not a trend.

Edited by backformore
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"When" is also used when something is fixed or definite, whereas "whenever" is used to indicate something hasn't yet happened. 

 

"When he arrived, we went for lunch" - he has already arrived, the lunch occurred at a fixed point in time. 

"We will have lunch whenever he arrives" - it hasn't happened yet, who knows when, or if, it will, but if he does arrive, that will be the time for lunch.

Edited by Quof
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As both a technical writer and instructor of college writing classes, I share the pain of the grammar and spelling mistakes that are common in the workplace and in classrooms. Online I relax my standards because it's generally a fairly casual setting, but the "should of" abomination makes me cringe no matter where I see it. The lack of basic grammar skills is even more disturbing when the offender is someone who should know better. My former pseudo-boss had a job title of technical writer, and yet the man literally did not know the difference between a complete sentence and a fragment.

 

My former real boss was also one of those who frequently declared that using correct grammar and spelling was not important; hence his hiring of the pseudo-boss as lead tech writer based on qualifications that had nothing to do with writing skills (the specific skill set the manager prized most was "do exactly as I tell you, no matter how stupid it is, and don't ask inconvenient questions"). As I've mentioned before, the manager was very religious and very conservative, not to mention a racist bigot. He did not approve of me because I am an atheist and of a colleague because she is Jewish, and liked to boast about how morally superior he was and shove his religious views down everybody's throat at work. So imagine my delight when there was some sort of screw-up for which he was responsible, and he sent an email to our entire team, copying his manager and a couple of managers up the corporate ladder, explaining the situation and concluding with the statement, "Please bare with me as I do ABC." I could not resist the temptation to reply and say, "You just more or less asked the entire team to get naked with you. I'm thinking that was not your intended meaning." 

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Grammar is one of my big pet peeves, too, and lord knows I am far from perfect at it.  I still find it important and if something stands out to me, I figure, it must really be bad.  I am in no way affiliated with this and I will link only once, but this is the one kickstarter I contributed to - a documentary on the importance of grammar, called Grammar Revolution. The link is the finished documentary. I can't find it for free, so I understand if no one wants to watch.  However, you can at least be happy to know you're not the only ones noticing and upset by this.  :)

 

ETA: There's more to the link than the documentary.  There are grammar tools and tips, too.

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A few years back, a co-worker who thought she was being so very smart, typed in an email the phrase 'case and point'.  Our manager politely told her that she had the phrase wrong, it was 'case in point' (yes, that is correct - just google case and point and it pulls up many reference to case in point).  She argued with him, got very upset, and said no he was wrong; case in point made no sense.  She would do that with other emails, use the wrong word or phrase and insist it was correct.  

 

Someone today sent out an email - in the subject line a very obvious typo.  Earlier emails had the subject something like " 9:00 a.m. email".  This one had "9:OR email". I read it twice, thinking that it was a new code or tech term I was not aware of yet.   Not the first time this person has sent out an email with obvious mistakes, and they also send half sentences, random phrases, and words that have random capital letters within words (wOrd).   Drives me crazy.  I go over emails, especially if it's going to a wide audience (including the big wigs).  I don't understand why people do not turn on spell check; it at least highlights typing errors in the body of the email.  

Edited by hoosier80
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While we're getting peevish about grammar (again), I'll bring up this 1 which I don't think I've brought up before--though others might have.

It makes me crazy when people use "passed" where/when they should've used "past", & vice-versa.

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Not a grammatical peeve this morning, but a political one: Rochester is not in upstate New York. It's in Western New York. Upstate assumes the entire state takes its bearings from New York City and it doesn't. 

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