Pet Peeves: Aka Things That Make You Go "Gah!"

[DeLurker]

The only rules I know of about spoilers are: Do not ever spoil a Game Of Thrones viewer. So many rules...

Everyone I know who watches GoT has read the books, so there are no spoilers for them.  Not that I could, because the books were topically not my cuppa so the series isn't either.

[topanga]

#1:  At CVS now whenever they give you a bag, it comes preloaded with some flyer or another - maybe for DirectTV.  If you get 2 bags, you get 2 flyers, 3 bags, 3 flyers...I don't want any of the flyers and repeatedly having to deal with it when I get home makes me swear to never get DirectTV and swear at CVS.  You get punished if you don't bring your own bags.

I know. That really bugs me. It's bad enough that they split up like six items into three separate bags.

 

Here's my "I'm not very social" pet peeve of the day: I hate it when I'm sitting on a park bench or at a bus stop and yes, sometimes at a sporting event, minding my own business and reading a book, and a stranger will approach me and say, "Man. That must be a good book." That annoys me for several reasons:

 

• The statement is made not as a casual observation, but in a very condescending way. Like, "How dare you read a book instead of checking your phone or staring at traffic or looking bored." And even though I sometimes read at sporting events, it's (usually) only before the game or between quarters/halves. Who the f**k are you to tell me how to spend my down time?  <-- (I know my 'f**k' is one of GHScorpiosRule's pet peeves).

 

• They don't approach me when I'm turning a page or looking around, opening myself up for conversation. It happens when my head is buried in the book. And maybe I'm smiling or frowning, or maybe my face is blank. In any event, what gives them the right to interrupt my activity to ask about my activity? I would never interrupt someone's phone call to say, "Man. You must be talking to an interesting person."

 

• It used to me annoy me when people asked "Whatcha reading?" when they couldn't care less, but this latest thing is much, much, worse.

 

So I'm not social at all--I get mad at people for trying to make small talk. Yes, I have issues. I guess that's why I read a lot and don't have many real friends.

Edited May 21, 2015 by topanga

[applecrisp]

topanga, I actually think some people enjoy announcing to people that they don't have a life or the ubiquitous "Get a Life."  I hope I used the quotation marks correctly.

 

It happens to me a lot because I watch a lot of TV, often people will say that they don't have the time.  They are soo busy and their life is so much fuller than mine.  It is a putdown.

 

My pet peeve is when people tell you how busy they are.  I really don't need the details. 

[topanga]

It happens to me a lot because I watch a lot of TV, often people will say that they don't have the time.  They are soo busy and their life is so much fuller than mine.  It is a putdown.

Can you imagine spending a day with a vegan atheist* who doesn't watch TV and is a card-carrying member of PETA ? Granted, there is nothing wrong with any of those ideologies, but the people who hold them are often annoyingly self-righteous.

 

*People of any religious faith can be annoyingly self-righteous. I'm jut picking on atheists today--I was listening to Marc Maron in the car.

[DeLurker]

 

It happens to me a lot because I watch a lot of TV, often people will say that they don't have the time.  They are soo busy and their life is so much fuller than mine.  It is a putdown.

 

My pet peeve is when people tell you how busy they are.  I really don't need the details. 

I've peeved about the tv thigng before - especially when someone says "they don't watch tv" with an air of superiority.  My brother and his wife you to say this...but now there kids are grown and things have slowed down a touch for them, they watch tv!  In fact they have appointment tv shows.

 

And a lot of the "busy" people I know are "busy" doing things like playing games on their phones/computers/etc...on social media...drinking...if that is what you enjoy, I'm glad for you even if I don't necessarily appreciate the same things.  Being busy and being productive are not always the same thing.

[Qoass]

Ooh, I so agree:  those people who get off on announcing how busy they are are full of crap.  They LOVE being martyrs to their schedule.  I particularly can't stand the parents who claim that every atom of their being goes into their kids and that they never do anything for themselves.  You see that a lot on The Biggest Loser and I really want to ask them how eating too much and oh, yeah, having perfect hair, makeup and manicure serves their children.

 

As for categorizing people by ticking off a couple of boxes (vegetarian, reader, conservative, etc.), it's an easier way to go, I guess, but I remind myself that just because I don't share my life with you doesn't mean I don't have one.

[P2C2E]

I've found that response from people a lot when I talk about the changes I've made to eat healthier. I get the " it's so nice for you that you have the time/money to be able to do that!" Or "my kids would never eat that way". I think sometimes people get defensive because they know they should eat healthier and they feel guilty.

I've really tried to work on sharing the things I've learned without being judgmental or self righteous. Now I usually just politely decline and explain only if someone is genuinely interested.

ETA: I am just as busy as most people and below the poverty line, so that excuse never flies with me. Like most things, you could do it if you wanted to.

Edited May 21, 2015 by P2C2E

[Betweenyouandme]

I'd forgotten this but one time I was at a hockey game. My dad was playing, and we'd been in an argument. So, I was sitting upstairs reading in a carpeted floor area. These two guys walk by and say something. I don't notice so one repeats himself. I just sort of answer quickly and without interest. The other one goes, "come on, man. Clearly she's not interesting, she's sitting at a hockey game reading a book."

Excuse me. I'm about in tears anyway. I'd been there 3x per week for the past three months. I got up and just went to the car and cried. Yeah, when did reading become soooooooo boring? Sure, it would stick out if you're at a rock concert telling people to hush because you can't focus on a novel. Other than that, give me a break!

I've also read advice that if you're overweight and eating the things your kids eat every time your kids eat, it might be good to set up a separate schedule. Kids often need loads more calories because they're growing and running around. A sedentary adult often doesn't compare. (Though certainly some adults may just need that many calories or be very active)!!

[Bastet]

I get the " it's so nice for you that you have the time/money to be able to do that!"

 

I hate "Must be nice" type comments.  When I get a "Must be nice" reaction to something I'm doing for myself (because I've worked, planned, and saved to put myself in that position), I say, "Yes, thank you, it is," and move on.

 

One of my peeves: DVDs that, when the programming is over, revert to a menu that plays a snippet of music on a loop.  I hate falling asleep while watching a movie, episode, whatever, and then waking up after it's over because that same 45 seconds of music, over and over, has wormed its way into my brain and annoyed me into waking up.

Edited May 21, 2015 by Bastet

[Maharincess]

Can you imagine spending a day with a vegan atheist* who doesn't watch TV and is a card-carrying member of PETA ? Granted, there is nothing wrong with any of those ideologies, but the people who hold them are often annoyingly self-righteous.

*People of any religious faith can be annoyingly self-righteous. I'm jut picking on atheists today--I was listening to Marc Maron in the car.

I'm an atheist, my big religious peeve is that believers can post, comment and say anything they want about their beliefs but if I say something about being an atheist, I'm a horrible person who is disrespectful of their beliefs. Oh yeah and I'm going to hell.

Telling an atheist they're going to hell is the same as telling us Santa isn't bringing us any presents.

[Bastet]

Telling an atheist they're going to hell is the same as telling us Santa isn't bringing us any presents.

 

I need this on a t-shirt.

[auntlada]

I sometimes talk about not having time to watch TV, but I'm not bragging because I love TV (that's why I visit websites like this one). But I also love to read and use the computer. I don't necessarily love going to work and would prefer to watch TV all day, but going to work makes the rest of it possible. I don't watch as much as I  used to before I had a child, though. And when I do, it tends to be kids shows that I really don't enjoy. Right now, for instance, it's some Canadian show about dinosaurs that's on YouTube because his current fascination is dinosaurs. (Yes, I'm one of those bad mothers who lets him watch TV because it keeps him busy and quiet.)

 

I have a coworker who is always talking about how fat she is and how she needs to lose weight (which she does, but I don't tell her that because that's not my business). But at a company picnic the other day, she went back for seconds. I bit my tongue and didn't mention that not getting seconds is a good way to start losing weight. Again, not my business. But she does crap like that all the time. If you want to lose weight, stop stuffing food into your face. (And quit telling me about it every five minutes. Maybe mostly that.)

[Betweenyouandme]

Oh, sorry! I'm just trying to balance gaining weight but not gaining too much weight. I'll figure it out. This is just new for me. Sorry to complain about something I should just get through my head.

[auntlada]

Oh, sorry! I'm just trying to balance gaining weight but not gaining too much weight. I'll figure it out. This is just new for me. Sorry to complain about something I should just get through my head.

 

Is this in response to me? Because if it is, I don't understand (especially whatever it is you should get through your head). It's not you. It's my coworker. The one who never shuts up. I know all about everything she wants to do for her wedding, which will be sometime in summer 2016. They haven't set the date yet. And when she's not talking about that or losing weight, she's telling us about stuff she found on the Internet that she thinks is funny. She thinks I think everyone is weird because I don't laugh at the stuff she finds. I just don't think it's funny. Or I thought it was funny a year or so ago when I first saw it, but now, not so much. Or she's singing, but not the real tune because she can't keep a tune and not the actual words, just do-do-do type syllables. She always does that when I'm trying to edit something complicated and boring. Today, I told her to stop because I was trying to edit a cybersecurity thing and couldn't concentrate with that going.

 

I'm perfectly willing to listen to people talk about losing weight as long as sometimes they give it a rest and are OK with silence (especially while working) or letting other people talk and also if they actually are doing something. If someone just complains about how fat she is, but eats extra helpings of hot dogs and dessert, I find it hard to believe she actually is doing anything about losing weight.

Edited May 22, 2015 by auntlada

[Maharincess]

That annoys me too. I have a friend who is 5 feet tall and she just hit the 200 pound mark. She's constantly complaining about needing to lose weight but she does nothing about it. She's whining as she's eating fast food for the second time in one day.

If you don't like being overweight, do something about it, if you aren't going to do anything about it then shut up!

Edited May 22, 2015 by Maharincess

[bubbls]

My latest pet peeve: Some idiot throws newspaper ads in our driveway. I don't mean a rude neighbor. It's advertising. Everyone gets them. But I didn't ask for it, pay for it, and I have to waddle my fat ass down and then hike back up our very steep driveway to pick it up only to throw it directly in the trash. If I'm ever out there when they drive by there's going to be a very rude discussion with this person. I don't really care if it's their job.

[Maharincess]

That happened a lot at my old house. They included a small rock inside the bag with the papers so they could throw them from the car windows.

You have to drive up a hill on a road that isn't visible from the main road to get to my house now.

I don't get ads like that now but we still get the occasional Mormon or Jehovah witness up here. Usually super early in the morning. I'm polite if they're polite. If they get pushy I remind them that they're trespassing on a private road.

Edited May 22, 2015 by Maharincess

[auntlada]

My latest pet peeve: Some idiot throws newspaper ads in our driveway. I don't mean a rude neighbor. It's advertising. Everyone gets them. But I didn't ask for it, pay for it, and I have to waddle my fat ass down and then hike back up our very steep driveway to pick it up only to throw it directly in the trash. If I'm ever out there when they drive by there's going to be a very rude discussion with this person. I don't really care if it's their job.

If it is from your local newspaper, you may be able to call and ask them not to throw them to your house. They may or may not stop, but it doesn't hurt to ask.

[bilgistic]

Everyone in my city gets them, too, but I get them in the mail. I've asked to be removed from the mailing list, but no dice. I hate junk mail so much.

[Bastet]

If it is from your local newspaper, you may be able to call and ask them not to throw them to your house. They may or may not stop, but it doesn't hurt to ask.

 

I had to do this recently with the Los Angeles Times; they were delivering my Sunday paper*, but also THREE copies of a Saturday advertising supplement.  It only took one call, which was a nice surprise.

 

*I've long since switched to online reading to save paper, but it's so hard on my eyes that I still treat myself to the Sunday paper in hard copy.

[ramble]

I don't know if this is exactly a pet peeve, but it's peeving me right now! I found a tick crawling on me a couple of hours ago (stupid dogs & their need to go outside) & now I can't sleep because as soon as I get still I can swear I feel more little ticks all over. I check & nothing, but I can't quit checking. Agh!

Regarding the crazy busy people I have a friend who continually humble brags about her busy life. She likes to list all the things she's done all day. The school & church volunteering, taxi service to her brood of kids, long hours worked, craft projects, side business she has to make extra money, caring for ill family members, cooking & cleaning, the list is endless. She always likes to add how exhausted she is but how it's all worth it. I imagine it is. Her life is full & she is loved deeply by her family & friends. But my word, at some point I just want to scream stop. Stop telling me. Stop listing. Stop acting as though life is a frenetic contest. If it is then I'm losing & I'm okay with that.

[bmasters9]

One of my peeves: DVDs that, when the programming is over, revert to a menu that plays a snippet of music on a loop.  I hate falling asleep while watching a movie, episode, whatever, and then waking up after it's over because that same 45 seconds of music, over and over, has wormed its way into my brain and annoyed me into waking up.

The third-season and fourth-season releases of Hart to Hart from Shout! do that, and so do the full releases of The Bob Newhart Show and Barney Miller from those same people. The Hart ones do it whether you've finished an episode or the full disc, while the Bob Newhart and Barney Miller ones only do it when you've reached the end of a disc (annoyingly enough, all of them replay the opening Shout! logo as well, and I don't quite get why). 

Edited May 22, 2015 by bmasters9

[DeLurker]

I don't know if this is exactly a pet peeve, but it's peeving me right now! I found a tick crawling on me a couple of hours ago (stupid dogs & their need to go outside) & now I can't sleep because as soon as I get still I can swear I feel more little ticks all over. I check & nothing, but I can't quit checking. Agh!

 

You have a literal Pet Peeve!

 

 

Sorry to complain about something I should just get through my head.

BYaM - Please don't - your first pregnancy covers a lot of ground that most of us are unprepared for.  Add an array of fluctuating hormones and it can be a wicked brew!  Personally, I remember how stressed out I would get over some things and it was very real (the stress), but sometimes over relatively minor issues.  I was living a cross county from my oldest friends & family, including my Mom, and not always comfortable asking my newer friends (from work) about things.  It was pretty easy for me to get overwhelmed with concern.

[FormerMod-a1]

About being busy - I love this article, and it does capture my friends who are always busy quite well.

 

Why busyness isn’t all it’s cracked up to be and a challenge to put it behind us

[bubbls]

If it is from your local newspaper, you may be able to call and ask them not to throw them to your house. They may or may not stop, but it doesn't hurt to ask.

 

 

I'm not sure where it's from actually. I don't get the (news)paper. I'll have to open up the bag and look next time. I wish I knew the person's address. I'd go to there house once a week and throw dog poop on their driveway. With no bag. Ha!

Edited May 22, 2015 by bubbls

[Qoass]

 

Telling an atheist they're going to hell is the same as telling us Santa isn't bringing us any presents.

 

 

...and wishing us a Merry Christmas is like send us a card on YOUR birthday.

 

And while we're on the topic,

 

1.  I'm not "angry at God".  You can't be angry at something that doesn't exist.

 

2.  I came to my beliefs as a result of a life and death event so I can say for certain that there are atheists in "foxholes" no matter what the old cliche is.  I will not suddenly get religion if tested by life.

 

3.  I also will not convert if I only knew more about your belief system.  I was raised in a religious household.  It was my minor in college.  I already know what you have to offer.  My beliefs are informed ones.

 

3.  I don't need your book to have morals and ethics.  A logical social contract works just fine, thank you.

 

 

[GHScorpiosRule]

Here's another one of mine.  It irritates me and irks me when people address me as Mr. in an email, especially more egregious when it comes from people/vendors who I have met on more than one occasion and they know that I am a female.  Or when they address me by my last name, as though my last name is my first name; again, in an email.  I have a signature block. It's RIGHT THERE which is my first name and which is my surname. 

 

So I find myself always, responding with "Actually, it's Ms. ..." or tell them, this is actually my last name (which is obvious, but I tell them politely anyway) and what makes it worse is when they keep doing it after I've corrected them. And it's not as if my first name is one of those that both men and women have. For the record, I'm East Indian.

[applecrisp]

...and wishing us a Merry Christmas is like send us a card on YOUR birthday.

 

And while we're on the topic,

 

1.  I'm not "angry at God".  You can't be angry at something that doesn't exist.

 

2.  I came to my beliefs as a result of a life and death event so I can say for certain that there are atheists in "foxholes" no matter what the old cliche is.  I will not suddenly get religion if tested by life.

 

3.  I also will not convert if I only knew more about your belief system.  I was raised in a religious household.  It was my minor in college.  I already know what you have to offer.  My beliefs are informed ones.

 

3.  I don't need your book to have morals and ethics.  A logical social contract works just fine, thank you.

I am not there yet.  I actually think there are many more articles and information about Atheism than there was even five years ago.  Bernie Sanders is one and is running for president and many people that I know think he is a good guy.

 

What bugs me is that people who are not religious still have morals and a logical social contract.  Many of our founding fathers were not very religious and even though the colonies were started and populated by religious people(often fanatics) America is not a theocracy.  That is my pet peeve, we have been told we are a Christian country but we are not.  Even Lincoln was a Diest. 

[auntlada]

I am not there yet.  I actually think there are many more articles and information about Atheism than there was even five years ago.  Bernie Sanders is one and is running for president and many people that I know think he is a good guy.

 

What bugs me is that people who are not religious still have morals and a logical social contract.  Many of our founding fathers were not very religious and even though the colonies were started and populated by religious people(often fanatics) America is not a theocracy.  That is my pet peeve, we have been told we are a Christian country but we are not.  Even Lincoln was a Diest.

I am a Christian, and it bugs me when people say we are a Christian country or talk about the U.S. as if it is God's chosen people. These are supposed to be people who have read and believe the Bible, who should know (according to what they say they believe) that God's chosen people were the Israelites and then Christians as a result of Jesus. God did not make a covenant with our founding fathers. The United States does not need to return to God. The Church does. (Again, if you are an atheist, you don't believe that last sentence.)

[annzeepark914]

I'm an atheist, my big religious peeve is that believers can post, comment and say anything they want about their beliefs but if I say something about being an atheist, I'm a horrible person who is disrespectful of their beliefs. Oh yeah and I'm going to hell.

Telling an atheist they're going to hell is the same as telling us Santa isn't bringing us any presents.

I'm not an atheist but I like what you wrote.  Bastet is right--this would be great on a t-shirt.

[tribeca]

  One night I went out to dinner with a elderly co-worker.  The waiter came over to take our order.  Co-worker asks the waiter "what is your real job?" I wanted to crawl under the table. 

   Why is it okay to tell someone their job is not a real one?   My dad always told us that no matter what job you do you do it well and respect others who do the same.

[DeLurker]

But then, I also am one who has just put junk mail back in the included postage paid envelope and sent it back. 

 

I decided long ago to distance myself from super busy people. Not people who are working a lot, but busywork people. And I never got into the over scheduling of my sons during their childhood. Back yard playing, fishing, hunting, watching tv, that was pretty much it. 

Sending the junk mail back is brilliant!

 

Over scheduling kids - my kids have had homework every since starting school.  In the early grades it was more to get them used to the routine, but since they were in 5th grade it has gotten more serious.  My daughter is in 8th grade now and does on average 90 minutes of homework a night.  She has pre-AP classes for the core courses, so that may be a bit more demanding.  We cut out league teams a few years ago because she was no longer enjoying them as much plus cramming practice, games, dinner, shower, homework into those nights left little time for anything else.

 

But some of her friends do the same coursework, athletics, volunteer work, church, etc...often because their parents are concerned about their college applications.  Some of these kids are heading for burnout at 14.

[GHScorpiosRule]

Are these emails coming from people you know or robo emails? If I got them I would send an email back: Please do not send me any more emails until you learn my name.

No, these are emails from vendors I work with--the account managers for the conference calls the attorneys use; manager of the cleaning crew who clean our office, CLIENTS. Or rather Administrative Assistants to our clients.  I've even typed my FIRST name after I respond to an email above my signature block--kind of redundant, but with the hope they can see their mistake. Nope. They still do it.  And then come the apology emails for their mistakes, and yet...it happens again, after addressing me correctly a few times. Some of them are people I've met!

[backformore]

...and wishing us a Merry Christmas is like send us a card on YOUR birthday.

 

And while we're on the topic,

 

1.  I'm not "angry at God".  You can't be angry at something that doesn't exist.

 

2.  I came to my beliefs as a result of a life and death event so I can say for certain that there are atheists in "foxholes" no matter what the old cliche is.  I will not suddenly get religion if tested by life.

 

3.  I also will not convert if I only knew more about your belief system.  I was raised in a religious household.  It was my minor in college.  I already know what you have to offer.  My beliefs are informed ones.

 

3.  I don't need your book to have morals and ethics.  A logical social contract works just fine, thank you.

when I encounter people like that, I tell them my religion is "secular humanist" and offer to tell them all about it. (it's like all of the morals of a regular religion, with none of that annoying dogma)

[topanga]

I'm an atheist, my big religious peeve is that believers can post, comment and say anything they want about their beliefs but if I say something about being an atheist, I'm a horrible person who is disrespectful of their beliefs. Oh yeah and I'm going to hell.

Telling an atheist they're going to hell is the same as telling us Santa isn't bringing us any presents.

I agree with you. I think the extremists at both ends of the spectrum are terrible. Either I'm going to hell in a handbasket because I don't believe in God, or I'm a brainwashed idiot who can't think for myself because I do believe in God. In the words of Michael Jackson, you can't win.

 

I'd forgotten this but one time I was at a hockey game. My dad was playing, and we'd been in an argument. So, I was sitting upstairs reading in a carpeted floor area. These two guys walk by and say something. I don't notice so one repeats himself. I just sort of answer quickly and without interest. The other one goes, "come on, man. Clearly she's not interesting, she's sitting at a hockey game reading a book."

 

Excuse me. I'm about in tears anyway. I'd been there 3x per week for the past three months. I got up and just went to the car and cried. Yeah, when did reading become soooooooo boring? Sure, it would stick out if you're at a rock concert telling people to hush because you can't focus on a novel. Other than that, give me a break!

 

Betweenyouandme, maybe they were feeling rejected. Perhaps they were flirting with you, and the other guy said, "Come on, man. Clearly she's not interested." Maybe

 

Or maybe they just don't like to read. In any event, you saved yourself from a conversation it sounds like you didn't want to be part of in the first place.

Edited May 23, 2015 by topanga

[ihavenoidea]

My pet peeve has happened to me my whole life.  I'm mid thirties, 5 ft 1 and weigh 105 lbs.  I'm small, I've been small my entire life.  My parents are also both small people.  No I am not anorexic.  So, why is it ok for people to comment on how tiny I am all the time.  I have been told to "eat a sandwich" more than once in my life.  I don't understand this, do people not see that this is rude?  I can't help that I'm tiny, I just am.  Would it be ok for me to tell a bigger person to stop eating sandwiches?

[ari333]

If their recording won't allow you to hit "0" and insists that you tell them something?  That's when I mumble something unintelligable.  They ask me to repeat what I just said and so I mumble again. That's when they transfer me to a customer service rep :>)  

hee!

I use, "ah-EYE-bah ...oh-AH" said in a sincere voice. :)

[harrie]

 Would it be ok for me to tell a bigger person to stop eating sandwiches?

 

I hear you.  I agree with you. I also know people who consider it perfectly acceptable to tell a large-sized person to lay off the (sandwiches, chips, burgers, etc.). Some human behaviors defy explanation. 

hee!

I use, "ah-EYE-bah ...oh-AH" said in a sincere voice. :)

 

I love this and will try it out next time the situation arises.

[annzeepark914]

My pet peeve has happened to me my whole life.  I'm mid thirties, 5 ft 1 and weigh 105 lbs.  I'm small, I've been small my entire life.  My parents are also both small people.  No I am not anorexic.  So, why is it ok for people to comment on how tiny I am all the time.  I have been told to "eat a sandwich" more than once in my life.  I don't understand this, do people not see that this is rude?  I can't help that I'm tiny, I just am.  Would it be ok for me to tell a bigger person to stop eating sandwiches?

You have reminded me of a lifetime pet peeve of mine: people making fun of my small feet (size 5-1/2), small hands.  I've always had a small frame (was one of the tiniest kids in my class in elementary school).  And they make these comments in front of others.  "Oh my, you have such small feet".  And, of course, everyone looks at my feet.  I've never really said anything in response to these people other than to just look at them.  I don't think I look unusual...my feet and hands are in proportion to the rest of my body.  Where do they get the idea that it's ok to comment on another person's body?

[Petunia13]

People who are disrespectful or inappropriate with those in the service industry. Most of my customers are nice or appreciative. Some my be curt or abrupt and that's even alright, I understand maybe they're harried or stressed. But people who call names or invade my personal space. Ugh.

Today I had one such gem. I was booked up. But did his dogs as a walkin appointment. The services ran long and I gave his dogs water to drink naturally during the process....and because it took a hour longer than my estimated time and one dogs ears got wet from the bowl the customer screamed at me, called me names, as he put his finger in my face. Lovely.

And casual racism or sexism to those in the service industry is very irritating as well. So fucked up.

[auntlada]

One of the oddest comments I've received -- from well-meaning relatives -- is "you have such a cute little figure!" Um, thanks, I guess.

 

Wow. I haven't ever actually heard that phrase in real life. I've only read it in books set in the 1950s.

[Maharincess]

My pet peeve has happened to me my whole life. I'm mid thirties, 5 ft 1 and weigh 105 lbs. I'm small, I've been small my entire life. My parents are also both small people. No I am not anorexic. So, why is it ok for people to comment on how tiny I am all the time. I have been told to "eat a sandwich" more than once in my life. I don't understand this, do people not see that this is rude? I can't help that I'm tiny, I just am. Would it be ok for me to tell a bigger person to stop eating sandwiches?

I'm the same way. People think its ok to always tell me to eat something and I'm too skinny. I had a guy put a bunch of boxes of Twinkies in my shopping cart once and he said "I'm begging you to go home and eat these".

It makes me so mad. Would they put a bunch of green veggies in the cart of an obese person and tell them they're too fat?

My mother-in-law is extremely overweight and she's the worst one. Always telling me that I look sick.

I'm aware of how thin I am, believe me I try to put on weight. I once ate ice cream every night before bed and made a milkshake every morning for a month. I lost 3 pounds.

Im also sick of people telling me how "lucky" I am and how they wish they had that problem. Yeah because it's fun to be humiliated in the grocery store.

I'm glad I'm not the only one it happens to.

Edited May 24, 2015 by Maharincess

[auntlada]

You're probably too polite (or trying to keep the peace) to say, "You do, too," to your mother-in-law when she says that. I probably wouldn't either, but I'd think it every time. (I don't have that problem and am not sure I did even in college when I was running track and cross country on the school teams. Of course, if I did then, I probably would have told people if they wanted to run 8 miles a day, they could do it, too.)

[applecrisp]

Why do people feel the need to comment on everything, especially personal questions.  Do they make it a habit of asking how much money a person makes?  When they last had sex or how well endowed?  Just mind your own business.  I have been skinny and fat or rather overweight.  In both cases I have been asked personal things and am always at a loss.  You can't be rude back because then you look like the jerk.

 

 Also, we have all made stupid comments to people that we wish we could take back  and I am quick to apologize.  Why don't some of these people do the same?  Even if you explain and maybe flat out say you hurt me and they just stand there with a smirk on their face.  I think that is the worst.  I am okay with making you feel bad.

[Betweenyouandme]

To be frank, I'm not the biggest fan of the thought that - for any and everyone- gaining weight is near impossible but losing is simple math. Either there's an emotional component, a medical issue, hormonal issue, and or medication side effects affecting either side of the coin if gaining or losing isn't working with sincere, calculated effort.

I got called into school over concern about my weight. I was purposely upping my calories significantly but losing weight. Turns out I had a bad ulcer. A round of antibiotics cured it. Also, I was on antidepressants once. I gained 20lbs pretty darn quickly in high school. Got off then, the weight went away in a month. There are millions of examples. My grandma was always under 110 even fully pregnant. From 60-97 years old, she was between 65-75lbs at 5'2." She ate very slowly and very little. She said she'd get choked if she ate more. Who knows. Doctors and hospice did every test. But, the fact was, she just wasn't getting the calories. Once she was tube fed, her body wasn't properly digesting the food but that was at age 96. But, she did gain about 10 lbs in the end.

Point being, some people just don't want to change or some others to make an effort. Others have issues diagnosed or known. Some never figure it out, but there probably is an issue that could be found with the right test.

I don't take it upon myself to decide that for anyone but myself and anyone, like a child, I'd be responsible for their health.

I totally get being annoyed by constant talk about anything. What I'm saying I don't understand is someone on any side of the coin deciding what another person's issue is. Does no good. I don't comment on anyone's weight except to my mom or something in private- and not meanly. Just if there's something we're talking about in private.

Not trying to be rude here. To be very, very clear, I don't support anyone being harassed or being made fun of or bringing the attention of someone's weight or any physical attribute. Heck, I even dislike when someone points out i'm quiet! It's all at the very least impolite.

Oh...but I do call my cat skinny ;) but, I never laugh at him.

Edited May 24, 2015 by Betweenyouandme

[FormerMod-a1]

For me, body shaming of any kind is rude, mean and just plain uncalled for and not just a pet peeve.  While there are plenty of idiots out there, it is generally accepted as a bad thing. 

 

Another traffic pet peeve of mine is not just being cut off but when someone pulls out right in front of me even though I have no one behind me for as far as the eye can see.  And I don't just mean 10 car spaces behind me vs the 2 in front of me.  I mean no one.   You couldn't wait the extra 2 seconds for me to pass? 

[applecrisp]

For me, body shaming of any kind is rude, mean and just plain uncalled for and not just a pet peeve.  While there are plenty of idiots out there, it is generally accepted as a bad thing. 

 I agree it is just rude. What bugs me so much is that the person sees you are hurt by their comment and they do not try to apologize or fix it.  I have said things that I thought were innocuous but to that person it was hurtful.  When I realize that I try to make amends as many people would.  It hurts my feelings when people say I have fine hair or rather thin hair.  My hair has thinned over the years but I don't like it brought up, especially in front of others.  

 

Of course I may be too sensitive.

Edited May 24, 2015 by applecrisp

[Betweenyouandme]

A sincere apology can, to me, mean so much. I don't think you're too sensitive, applecrisp. I find it refreshing and kind anytime people can correct a misstep or learn from mistakes, reach out, and resolve the issue.

I don't mean to say anyone has to accept any apology. I'm just saying it can be very nice on the instance where someone sincerely apologizes and the offended/hurt person feels better.

[Quof]

Speaking of apologies, this morning at the grocery store, a woman ran her cart into the back of my ankles.  "Oops, sorry", she giggled.  I know I'm supposed to say "Oh, that's okay," but you know what?  It's not okay.  If she had asked beforehand "Is it okay if I injure you?" I would have said "no."   Easier to ask for forgiveness than permission, and all that.   Why do you get to cause me pain because you had your head up your ass (or in your phone) and weren't paying attention to your surroundings, and I'm supposed to be okay with that?  

 

So I'm stuck with a large scrape on the back of each foot, and hobbled through my shopping.

 

For the record, I told her it wasn't okay, and she should watch where in the hell she's going.

[Betweenyouandme]

That didn't seem sincere or like she would correct the mistake going forward. Hope you feel better soon.