LOL Moments From the Book "Becoming Sister Wives"

[Roslyn]

1 hour ago, Kyanight said:

I thought she also scratched "Sam" on her thigh in the bath tub!!  ???  Anyone?

I thought there was a bath tub photo of her legs and candles...but the scratching photo was of her arm and the "tell" it was her was you could see her distinctive couch (the one with no arms that Kody picked out from the furniture store).

[DakotaJustice]

It was her arm. She did it while she wasn't paying attention in the one college course she enrolled in. 

[Kyanight]

10 minutes ago, DakotaJustice said:

It was her arm. She did it while she wasn't paying attention in the one college course she enrolled in. 

Thanks for setting me straight! ;D

I didn't even do crap like that when I was in elementary school/Jr. High.     Let's all carve our crush's names on our arms!!!

[dreadfulLeigh]

On 3/12/2020 at 3:20 AM, Sofa Sloth said:

I was thinking of ordering the book too but my husband would do the same and I’d never live it down 😂  I often watch reruns when there’s nothing better on at night and I get mocked for it endlessly with a constant stream of commentary until I’m shamed into changing channels.
 

Hubby while I’m trying to watch:  ‘can’t believe you watch this shit. Also can believe that posing jackass managed to get one woman to marry him let alone four...but then look at the state of them, one is pure orange! look at her there all sour-faced looking like the pots-and-pans-lady from The Labyrinth movie, then that one with the chin who’s always crying - Jay Leno in drag for sure! Is that the one that was screeching that shit song at that stupid wedding - oh no that was the blonde one who repeats every last sentence she says dramatically for effect 100 times, she’d do my head in! Hey so why is that round one always going to the gym, but is still massive every season? Do these clowns do anything but move house and marry each other?  

Let me know if reading it, is at all worth the husband’s scorn (though I’m thinking I already know the answer 😆) 

I had an honest to god moment of not being able to breathe 😂 “looking like the pots and pan lady from The Labyrinth”, “the round one always going to the gym” 😂 😂 😂 

[Sofa Sloth]

Ok! I may be a good 6 years late to the party, but being in isolation and bored I finally cracked and downloaded their ‘New York Times best seller’. 

Hooo boy. After reading this sad little diary of plyg broken dreams, I have snark, so I’m hoping I can bump this thread again to discuss.

Kody Snark 

So he just admitted here polygamy 👆🏼doesn’t work for women and he is just using it to be with many different women as one doesn’t ‘fulfil his needs’. 

I knew he was arrogant, but daaamn!👆🏼

You’re right Kody, no one in your fambily will know loneliness again. *Cough* Meri-catfishing *Cough* 👆🏼

Lol at him thinking his arrogance was just due to youth, when it’s a core component of his personality and certainly hasn’t improved with age.  👆🏼

WOW. 👆🏼 I knew of this story but actually reading it is something else! No wonder Christine had to go on antidepressants and take a therapist on her anniversary trip, about the time this book came out. Why was this a necessary revelation? Especially when he’s clearly so attracted to Robyn in the book and obsessed with her wanting him... ugh what an insensitive jackass. 

Edited April 18, 2020 by Sofa Sloth
Spellingk error

[Sofa Sloth]

Ok more Kody.  

👆🏼First of all, eeeewwww to ‘the spark you feel in your loins’. 🤮 Mills & Boon books everywhere want their euphemism for ‘boner’ line back and I didn’t need that mental picture in conjunction with Kody.  Secondly and more importantly,  it was ‘love at first sight’ for Robyn? They other wives must have loved reading that and comparing their section to this, especially Christine, when her section was all about how chubby and unattractive she was eating nachos. Also poor deluded Meri trying to suck up to Robyn in the hope Kody would love her for it... which brings me nicely to my next chosen extract written by Meri...

Wow! 👆🏼Stealth bitch and her kids shamelessly intruded on Meri’s night with Kody on the regular and Meri thought it was fun and games? That’s next level manipulation. Poor Meri never saw her coming did she. 

Ugh more disgusting Kody arrogance below 👇🏼

Seriously noone proofread this beforehand and thought maybe that line about hitting innocent Reba up after church, with awkward sexual assumptions about himself and her cousin, makes him seem like a proper douche? I think his ghostwriter must have had his number.

👆🏼Christine’s first time meeting Robyn sounds fun. Wish the cameras were around then to capture her being mortified, after being called a hussy. Interesting to know it’s not just 6 bedroom rentals Robyn expects God to summon up on demand, he is expected to find her a husband too. Does this bitch do anything for herself? 

Edited April 18, 2020 by Sofa Sloth

[orangesmartie]

If I could find this for free somewhere I'd read it, but I resent paying for it

[Kbo]

3 hours ago, Sofa Sloth said:

Ok more Kody.  

👆🏼First of all, eeeewwww to ‘the spark you feel in your loins’. 🤮 Mills & Boon books everywhere want their euphemism for ‘boner’ line back and I didn’t need that mental picture in conjunction with Kody.  Secondly and more importantly,  it was ‘love at first sight’ for Robyn? They other wives must have loved reading that and comparing their section to this, especially Christine, when her section was all about how chubby and unattractive she was eating nachos. Also poor deluded Meri trying to suck up to Robyn in the hope Kody would love her for it... which brings me nicely to my next chosen extract written by Meri...

Wow! 👆🏼Stealth bitch and her kids shamelessly intruded on Meri’s night with Kody on the regular and Meri thought it was fun and games? That’s next level manipulation. Poor Meri never saw her coming did she. 

Ugh more disgusting Kody arrogance below 👇🏼

Seriously noone proofread this beforehand and thought maybe that line about hitting innocent Reba up after church, with awkward sexual assumptions about himself and her cousin, makes him seem like a proper douche? I think his ghostwriter must have had his number.

👆🏼Christine’s first time meeting Robyn sounds fun. Wish the cameras were around then to capture her being mortified, after being called a hussy. Interesting to know it’s not just 6 bedroom rentals Robyn expects God to summon up on demand, he is expected to find her a husband too. Does this bitch do anything for herself? 

So Kody was surprised to realize he’d have to court her affections?  Arrogant is right. Guess he thinks every woman sees his beady eyes and Shirley Temple haystack and thinks “Mmmm, gotta get me some of that” 🤮

I still have the book sitting on my night stand unread, you’re inspiring me to crack it open. I’ve been busy reading library books. 

Edited April 18, 2020 by Kbo

[DakotaJustice]

2 hours ago, orangesmartie said:

If I could find this for free somewhere I'd read it, but I resent paying for it

I don't blame you one bit! Wait til after quarantine and check your library. I wouldn't want to put even a nickel in Kody's pocket.

[Roslyn]

3 hours ago, orangesmartie said:

If I could find this for free somewhere I'd read it, but I resent paying for it

I bought my copy used, back when amazon sellers would have the book for $.01 and $2.99 shipping.

[smarty]

I wish someone could screen shot the section where Meri talks about when Kody married Janelle.  Meri pretty much lays out the reasons she doesn't get along with Janelle.  She admits that she was bossy but on the other hand Janelle didn't express an opinion, which she found frustrating to live with.  

[ginger90]

25 minutes ago, smarty2020 said:

I wish someone could screen shot the section where Meri talks about when Kody married Janelle.  Meri pretty much lays out the reasons she doesn't get along with Janelle.  She admits that she was bossy but on the other hand Janelle didn't express an opinion, which she found frustrating to live with.  

It’s here: 

 

 

https://books.google.com/books?id=5g_NbIAxlVoC&pg=PA95&lpg=PA95&dq=did+kody+brown.work.for+schwan&source=bl&ots=F8cs22_yWg&sig=ACfU3U1lDLm_2BXFtDuT8oEYOOgpXsVjyQ&hl=en&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwiV8cGl0fLoAhU8j3IEHRvpBuMQ6AEwC3oECAcQAQ#v=onepage&q=did kody brown.work.for schwan&f=false

 

Scroll up to the beginning of the Meri chapter.

Edited April 18, 2020 by ginger90

[smarty]

Kody has issues.  He married Christine when Janelle was 7 months pregnant with his first baby.  He couldn't let Janelle enjoy her pregnancy and the upcoming birth of their first child - nope, he had to be courting Christine at the same time.  

[Kyanight]

7 minutes ago, smarty2020 said:

Kody has issues.  He married Christine when Janelle was 7 months pregnant with his first baby.  He couldn't let Janelle enjoy her pregnancy and the upcoming birth of their first child - nope, he had to be courting Christine at the same time.  

And then he did the same thing to Christine with Robyn.

[Marshmallow Mollie]

At some point the original three sat on the couch and said they waited to have children until they all three were married to Kody, which I took at face value for a long time. Silly me! What is the timeline for the first three marriages and the first three kids? Did Meri and Kody use contraception or was it coincidence she didn’t get pregnant until after Janelle was pregnant with Logan (he is the oldest, right?)?

[Sofa Sloth]

1 hour ago, Marshmallow Mollie said:

At some point the original three sat on the couch and said they waited to have children until they all three were married to Kody, which I took at face value for a long time. Silly me! What is the timeline for the first three marriages and the first three kids? Did Meri and Kody use contraception or was it coincidence she didn’t get pregnant until after Janelle was pregnant with Logan (he is the oldest, right?)?

She says the book they’d been trying to get pregnant for three years before Janelle came into family and she was devastated when Janelle was pregnant quickly with Logan. It was just coincidental she became pregnant with Mariah at same time as Janelle was pregnant with second child Madison and Christine with first child Aspyn. He’d been married to Meri 3 years before Janelle came in to family and I think a year and half later married Christine. 

Edited April 18, 2020 by Sofa Sloth

[Sofa Sloth]

6 hours ago, Kbo said:

So Kody was surprised to realize he’d have to court her affections?  Arrogant is right. Guess he thinks every woman sees his beady eyes and Shirley Temple haystack and thinks “Mmmm, gotta get me some of that” 🤮

I still have the book sitting on my night stand unread, you’re inspiring me to crack it open. I’ve been busy reading library books. 

Right? What an absolute tool. How he managed to get just one woman to marry him I’ll never know, let alone three! Pickings must be very slim indeed for polygamist wives, if he’s the best there is.

 
After reading the book I’m more convinced than ever, that converting to this religion was just his show-boat idea to live out his womanising fantasies and be the centre of attention at all times. He actively sought ways to be a fame whore when the opportunity presented against the church’s wishes. 

[AZChristian]

21 minutes ago, Sofa Sloth said:

After reading the book I’m more convinced than ever, that converting to this religion was just his show-boat idea to live out his womanising fantasies and be the centre of attention at all times. He actively sought ways to be a fame whore when the opportunity presented against the church’s wishes. 

In an episode where some of his high school friends came to visit, one of them laughed and said, "We all thought Kody was gay in high school."

So . . . are four beards better than one?

[smarty]

2 hours ago, Marshmallow Mollie said:

At some point the original three sat on the couch and said they waited to have children until they all three were married to Kody, which I took at face value for a long time. Silly me! What is the timeline for the first three marriages and the first three kids? Did Meri and Kody use contraception or was it coincidence she didn’t get pregnant until after Janelle was pregnant with Logan (he is the oldest, right?)?

Here is the timeline up through the first 4 kids:

Kody and Meri get married : April 21, 1990

Kody and Janelle Marry: January 17, 1993 (one day after Meri's birthday on January 16th)

Janelle gets pregnant : approx. Aug 1993

Kody Marries Christine: March 25. 1994

Janelle has Logan: May 21, 1994

Christine gets pregnant with Aspyn: June 1994

Meri Gets pregnant with Mariah: October 1994

Janelle gets pregnant with Madsion : February 1995

Christine has Aspyn: March 14, 1995

Meri had Mariah: July 29, 1995

Janelle has Madison: November 3, 1995

Edited April 18, 2020 by smarty2020

[Kbo]

Wow, just realized that Kody and Meri’s 30th anniversary is in 3 days. Wonder if they’ll even acknowledge it. 

[Kyanight]

30 minutes ago, Kbo said:

Wow, just realized that Kody and Meri’s 30th anniversary is in 3 days. Wonder if they’ll even acknowledge it. 

Of course they will!  Sheesh!!

Meri will spend the day sighing and crying and thinking of all of those 30 years with Kody, while Kody watches TV with Robyn at their house, and farts and scratches and belches.

[Teafortwo]

16 hours ago, Sofa Sloth said:

WOW. 👆🏼 I knew of this story but actually reading it is something else! No wonder Christine had to go on antidepressants and take a therapist on her anniversary trip, about the time this book came out. Why was this a necessary revelation? Especially when he’s clearly so attracted to Robyn in the book and obsessed with her wanting him... ugh what an insensitive jackass. 

The "sad" face I clicked on your post is about this.

[Joan of Argh]

Kody is such a pig... He was completely obsessed with Robyn and how to make her like him, he was practically pissing himself and all excited at the thought of Robyn and getting into her pants while Christine is at home pregnant and begging for crumbs.

He didn't even mention Christine and poor little Truely.... all her dad had on his mind was Robyn... Robyn this and Robyn that.... His little peen was tingling for Robyn... Ugh.. What an asshole.

 

[deirdra]

So Kootie & Robyn believe boners are signs from God that you've found your next celestial wife?

[Pickleinthemiddle]

12 hours ago, smarty2020 said:

I wish someone could screen shot the section where Meri talks about when Kody married Janelle.  Meri pretty much lays out the reasons she doesn't get along with Janelle.  She admits that she was bossy but on the other hand Janelle didn't express an opinion, which she found frustrating to live with.  

Would it really have mattered if Janelle had expressed an opinion?  Meri ruled the household.  Until Robyn came along.

[Pickleinthemiddle]

18 hours ago, Sofa Sloth said:

Christine’s first time meeting Robyn sounds fun

Can't believe ( and don't) that Robyn was naive enough to believe that all the wives would be happy and waiting with open arms for her and her children.  

[Gramto6]

9 minutes ago, Pickleinthemiddle said:

Can't believe ( and don't) that Robyn was naive enough to believe that all the wives would be happy and waiting with open arms for her and her children.  

No frickin way in he!!, she was stealth bitch from day one but no one saw it at the time. Looking back on how everything came down it is plain to see, but at the time...stealth bitch wins...

[xwordfanatik]

8 hours ago, deirdra said:

So Kootie & Robyn believe boners are signs from God that you've found your next celestial wife?

I suppose most of us 'shoulda' gotten married in junior high, if that's the sign!

Asshole extraordinaire, that's Kootie.  Robyn's mother telling her to 'get her scent out there' was 🤢.  That was in the NY Times best-seller, too!  UGH!

[Roslyn]

18 hours ago, Sofa Sloth said:

Right? What an absolute tool. How he managed to get just one woman to marry him I’ll never know, let alone three! Pickings must be very slim indeed for polygamist wives, if he’s the best there is.

 
After reading the book I’m more convinced than ever, that converting to this religion was just his show-boat idea to live out his womanising fantasies and be the centre of attention at all times. He actively sought ways to be a fame whore when the opportunity presented against the church’s wishes. 

Add on that converting to polygamy was also a way to gain favor with his father.  I have always believed that Kody has deep "Daddy issues"

[xwordfanatik]

5 minutes ago, Roslyn said:

Add on that converting to polygamy was also a way to gain favor with his father.  I have always believed that Kody has deep "Daddy issues"

I agree.  Unfortunately, many of Kootie's daughters have them too, it seems.  Marrying the first guy that gives them a scrap of attention.

[Sofa Sloth]

4 hours ago, Roslyn said:

Add on that converting to polygamy was also a way to gain favor with his father.  I have always believed that Kody has deep "Daddy issues"

Wow, yes good observation! I always love your insights Roslyn, you notice every nuance and you are always correct. 

We actually saw a bit of that play out on the episode where they returned to the ranch in Wyoming (or Yoming if you’re Robyn) after his father’s death. It was obvious Kody struggled with making his dad proud all his life, you’re right,  this was (at least partly) a conversion to gain favor. I now remember the line he spouted, about his dad ‘watching him from up in heaven, heckling him to live polygamy the right way’. 💡 

[Joan of Argh]

On 4/20/2020 at 3:55 PM, CocoPuffs said:

I’m sorry, but the part about the nachos was funny to me. Not at Christine’s expense, but just the way he said it. So cringey. The unmitigated gall. These people have no self awareness. How do you write that, get it PUBLISHED, and not realize how it could hurt her?

I also thought the part about Christine calling Robyn a hussy was hilarious. I bet the other wives nearly fainted. Christine is hella annoying and obnoxious, but sometimes she wins the day.

Back in the day, someone on either CJ’s or the old Sisterwives blog downloaded a link to the book and I read it then. It’s soooo bad. Obviously poorly written, but hey it made these idiots “NYT Bestsellers” so what do I know? 🙄

 

 

Is it  a bestseller or is it a bestseller "in their category"?

The Roloff kids also say they have a NYT bestseller but they leave out the part about "in their category" which was "self help, religious" or something like that.

The Roloff kids actually beat out Oprah's book "in that category" for a week or something.

I'm wondering if the Brown's book was a NYT bestseller,  or just a bestseller in its category?

[DakotaJustice]

Just because a book was on the NYT bestseller list doesn't mean it was good. 

Example that comes to mind: the last two books of the Earth's Children series by Jean M Auel. Drivel! Drivel! DRIVEL!! 

If memory serves, the book came out about the same time as the Tell Nada where the nacho incident was discussed and of course that compelled everyone to go buy the book that week. It wasn't on the list for more than a couple weeks if I recall correctly.

Edited April 22, 2020 by DakotaJustice

[Kohola3]

15 minutes ago, DakotaJustice said:

Just because a book was on the NYT bestseller list doesn't mean it was good. 

Exactly.  Some piece of trash gets hyped and people flock to buy it only to find out how truly awful it is.  Selling a lot doesn't necessarily equate to good literature.

Same thing with movies - studios with a boatload of money advertise the heck out of their high budget creations.  People go. boosting the sales, but quickly find out that they are just trash.  

[DakotaJustice]

4 minutes ago, Kohola3 said:

Exactly.  Some piece of trash gets hyped and people flock to buy it only to find out how truly awful it is.  Selling a lot doesn't necessarily equate to good literature.

Same thing with movies - studios with a boatload of money advertise the heck out of their high budget creations.  People go. boosting the sales, but quickly find out that they are just trash.  

I'm sure that there were plenty of copies of Becoming Sister Wives that ended up on the Sale/overstock tables at Barnes & Noble.

[Gramto6]

On 4/22/2020 at 7:21 AM, DakotaJustice said:

I'm sure that there were plenty of copies of Becoming Sister Wives that ended up on the Sale/overstock tables at Barnes & Noble.

Or at yard sales for $.10, or book sales at libraries for $.05. Yeah, NYT bestseller, big deal...

[lettsjetts]

On 4/20/2020 at 3:55 PM, CocoPuffs said:

I’m sorry, but the part about the nachos was funny to me. Not at Christine’s expense, but just the way he said it. So cringey. The unmitigated gall. These people have no self awareness. How do you write that, get it PUBLISHED, and not realize how it could hurt her?

 

 

 

I am happy that someone uploaded this to youtube but also sad that it happened.  Kody is such an ass!!!  Later on the host gives him a chance to clarify or apologize and he states he was just being honest.  

 

[Just Wondering]

8 minutes ago, lettsjetts said:

I am happy that someone uploaded this to youtube but also sad that it happened.  Kody is such an ass!!!  Later on the host gives him a chance to clarify or apologize and he states he was just being honest.  

 

This seems even worse the second time watching it.  But how can Christine take offense when they have worked so hard to convince us “it’s not about the sex”? 

[Kyanight]

1 hour ago, Just Wondering said:

This seems even worse the second time watching it.  But how can Christine take offense when they have worked so hard to convince us “it’s not about the sex”? 

I don't think this has anything at all to do with sex.  This is about respect for your spouse (did he really need to tell millions of people how he was repulsed by his wife?), friendship (would you throw your friend under the bus like this?) love (ditto on a beloved family member?) and marital ties... although that last might be redundant with the other three I mentioned.

I can't even imagine Kody saying something rude about Robyn on camera, that would embarrass her.

[Just Wondering]

5 minutes ago, Kyanight said:

I don't think this has anything at all to do with sex.  This is about respect for your spouse (did he really need to tell millions of people how he was repulsed by his wife?), friendship (would you throw your friend under the bus like this?) love (ditto on a beloved family member?) and marital ties... although that last might be redundant with the other three I mentioned.

I can't even imagine Kody saying something rude about Robyn on camera, that would embarrass her.

I get that, and it’s all completely true.  My basic point is the topic of attraction coming up at all with them.  Kody put the brakes on his courtship of Christine because he wanted to feel sexual attraction first.  And it hurt Christine to know attraction played no part in Kody’s view of her.  This seems to go against what they want us to believe -  that the marital motives of polygamists are holier than those of monogamists.  “What God has joined together let no nachos put asunder.”  

 

[Just Wondering]

1 hour ago, CocoPuffs said:

I don’t really get why he harped on Christine being chubby and eating nachos when Janelle seems to have also always been on the fluffier side. But maybe with her, he could at least have a half-way decent conversation. Maybe he was attracted to Janelle’s mind, which is a scary thought. But hey, all things are relative. 

 

😂

Right?!  😜  I wonder if Kody was actually just using this opportunity to get all his chubby wives told off at once.  

[deirdra]

He probably married Janelle for her regular salary & benefits and Christine for her Plyg Royalty connections. And he needed 3 wives to get to the highest level of heaven.  His drooling over Robyn, even around his first 3 wives, proves that "sex has nothing to do with it" in his version of the religion is a lie.

[Gramto6]

It just proves once again that Kodouche is a cruel, narcissistic, self aggrandizing, asshat!! 

Edited May 20, 2020 by Gramto6

[Roslyn]

On 5/18/2020 at 6:37 PM, lettsjetts said:

I am happy that someone uploaded this to youtube but also sad that it happened.  Kody is such an ass!!!  Later on the host gives him a chance to clarify or apologize and he states he was just being honest.  

 

I have found it interesting that this interview has completely disappeared from any of the seasons online.  Poof. Gone.  This snippet that someone filmed from their television is all we have of Kody talking about this statement, past the quote from the book.  Unlike the book where Christine side steps the comment we can see her face when she is forced to sit and listen to "that's an understatement" from her "wonderful man".

[Elizzikra]

On 4/18/2020 at 11:09 AM, DakotaJustice said:

I don't blame you one bit! Wait til after quarantine and check your library. I wouldn't want to put even a nickel in Kody's pocket.

But then the library people will know you are reading it.

[AZChristian]

12 hours ago, Elizzikra said:

But then the library people will know you are reading it.

Nah . . . self-checkout and drop off in a bin when finished.  Unless someone is monitoring your account in their computer system, your secret is safe.

The important thing is to find it yourself on the shelf.  Do NOT request the library staff find it and hold it for you . . . because THEN a real person will connect the book with your name.

LOL.

[Sandy W]

13 hours ago, Elizzikra said:

But then the library people will know you are reading it.

Put your hair in a bun, horn-rimmed glasses and your best school marm blouse, and with a straight face inform those within earshot that you are doing a study paper on the strange mating rituals of the 20th century.  Respect.

[Kyanight]

1 hour ago, Sandy W said:

Put your hair in a bun, horn-rimmed glasses and your best school marm blouse, and with a straight face inform those within earshot that you are doing a study paper on the strange mating rituals of the 20th century.  Respect.

[AZChristian]

12 minutes ago, Kyanight said:

"Well, isn't that speshul?"

[Twopper]

I bought a used copy of the book about a month ago to read when I finished re-watching all the episodes.  I think I managed to miss a few episodes because I realized I had missed the march on the Utah state house.

I haven't gotten very far.   I just read Robyn's remark about 'getting her scent " out there.

So far I have learned my geography of Idaho, Wyoming and Utah is a bit lacking.   They are always in a car traveling somewhere.