Michaella and Brandon: He Writes Fairy Tales

[jumper sage]

On 2/7/2018 at 7:52 PM, andromeda331 said:

I do agree. Despite having two sisters who are black Kelly still had that Confederate room. You do not put up a picture of Nathan Bedford Forrest if you love your sisters.    

NO!

I don't get the show but I did fall down the rabbit hole and stayed down there for a good week.  Me, the computer and take out food.  It was glorious.  This whole Michaella thing is crazy.

[Sew Sumi]

Michael confirmed on IG that she's in an LPN program and "praying" about continuing on to an RN. 

[iluvobx]

11 hours ago, Sew Sumi said:

Michael confirmed on IG that she's in an LPN program and "praying" about continuing on to an RN. 

It would be great if Michael got her RN license.  Then she would really be exposed to other people that are different in her views.   She really needs to be away from Kelly.  Kelly just seems so indifferent to Michael unless it is to babysit, sew, cook or whatever else Kelly doesn't want to do.  

What I really don't understand from them is their belief/saying leaving it up to God for the amount of children you should have.  If that was the case, then they should also acknowledge that God may decided that no children for a couple if his decision.  They don't believe in birth control, yet they believe is medicine to keep a pregnancy.  Seems a little hypocrital to me.  Seems like they want to play "God" to have a child. 

I do think that Michael was lonely away from the family but I fear that the family will rub her nose in the fact she is childless while they pop babies out every year.

[Temperance]

I'm not Michael would change if confronted by people with different beliefs. She seems rather rigid to me and more likely would cling to her beliefs. 

[Kiss my mutt]

I wonder what the source of the infertility is or if it’s just idiopathic in nature and if they’ve tried IVF or if it’s too costly. It seems the family and UpTV spend money on weddings, showers, vow renewals, trips, that they could help them with this. 

I really hope she matriculates into an RN program and she gets her “Issac” someday. I can’t imagine having to watch that shrew of a sister, Tori pop out babies left and right, complaining about everything and being an ingrate. Michaela needs to give her the “bless your heart” FU. 

[RebeccatheWriter]

On 10/19/2019 at 10:51 PM, Kiss my mutt said:

I wonder what the source of the infertility is or if it’s just idiopathic in nature and if they’ve tried IVF or if it’s too costly. It seems the family and UpTV spend money on weddings, showers, vow renewals, trips, that they could help them with this. 

I really hope she matriculates into an RN program and she gets her “Issac” someday. I can’t imagine having to watch that shrew of a sister, Tori pop out babies left and right, complaining about everything and being an ingrate. Michaela needs to give her the “bless your heart” FU. 

I doubt they have or will try IVF. That is considered playing God by IBLP. Since Brandon works for IBLP, it is unlikely that they would go there. Their belief is about trusting God and God's timing. 

Previous interviews with Kelly Jo indicate they believe in medical intervention only after conception. 

[iluvobx]

11 hours ago, RebeccatheWriter said:

I doubt they have or will try IVF. That is considered playing God by IBLP. Since Brandon works for IBLP, it is unlikely that they would go there. Their belief is about trusting God and God's timing. 

Previous interviews with Kelly Jo indicate they believe in medical intervention only after conception. 

I am not sure about that.  It seems when Micheala and Brandon did that interview for the show and talked about the issue.  I may be remembering incorrectly but it seems that they did talk about that and it not working.  I know they did talk about the high cost of everything that they had tried.  That sounded like they might have.

Kelly Jo is wanting to split hairs and justify certain things.  IF you do not believe in medical intervention before conception, then why after?  It is the same thing.  In the end, you are playing God if you take shots and medicine to prevent a miscarriage.  Seems to me, the view is only if it helps you continue to have child after child after child.  

[RebeccatheWriter]

1 hour ago, iluvobx said:

I am not sure about that.  It seems when Micheala and Brandon did that interview for the show and talked about the issue.  I may be remembering incorrectly but it seems that they did talk about that and it not working.  I know they did talk about the high cost of everything that they had tried.  That sounded like they might have.

Kelly Jo is wanting to split hairs and justify certain things.  IF you do not believe in medical intervention before conception, then why after?  It is the same thing.  In the end, you are playing God if you take shots and medicine to prevent a miscarriage.  Seems to me, the view is only if it helps you continue to have child after child after child.  

They have said they discussed adoption and that they may consider that later. However, I am certain that they would never publicly discuss IVF when IBLP is so against it. He would most certainly be ostracized and probably lose his job over that discussion. Their conversations and blog posts have mentioned spending money on testing and procedures like they had at Dr. Vick's office where he checked to see if her tubes were blocked. If they go with IVF, they will do so quietly and never mention it to anyone, as that is considered by those IBLP to be playing God and not trusting his timing. To blatantly go against their beliefs and his job would just be way too much to expect, as would their talking about it. 

Michaela clearly desires children of her own. She would come closest to reconciling the idea of going against IBLP teachings. Brandon is not as likely to do so though. 

I only used Kelly Jo's comments as an example. IBLP families are very much against measures like IVF. The question she was answering was in regard to the idea of taking progesterone to sustain a pregnancy. She was talking about after conception to avoid miscarriage. However, she strictly stated that she (echoing IBLP's stance) was not speaking fertility treatment or something to help aid in conception. She was speaking of treating an issue AFTER conception only, as at that point the life exists. It's a typical pro-life stance. 
 

[Absolom]

Sustaining life to them is very different from creating life.  To treat an existing embryo or fetus or pregnancy issue is much the same as treating a born child to them.

[RebeccatheWriter]

Does anyone know if Michaela ever was required or voluntarily attended those Journey to the Heart programs that Jana attended?

[Sew Sumi]

I've never seen evidence that any Bates spawn attended JTTH or ALERT. I imagine money was an issue, especially with the older kids.

[cereality]

Interesting how different Brandon's siblings are from each other. Before I love you day, they posted a pic from Arizona where they attended Brandon's brother's wedding. Turns out his brother is in his 30s and married a woman who [gasp] has 2 kids of her own who look to be 4-6 years old so he's an instant step dad. And he works at a normal job at a mortgage company out there in Arizona. Though I guess they also had the sister (who now just got married in her 30s) who lived in DC and had quite a regular life -- got a masters from a major university in DC, had an apartment and a regular job. Unclear where she's at now -- LinkedIn etc. appear to show she's still at her job in DC though her husband -- who seems close to fundie given his degrees -- is a professor at a college in Michigan. But even if she gives it up and moves back to Michigan, at least she lived her own life into her 30s.

Funny how not everyone in his family attended "seminary" and sought after the virgin bride. Though I guess in his brother's case, he found this woman himself, was attracted, decided he was ok with step kids, and made a move. In Brandon's case, I'm convinced he had no interest in marrying so his sisters found his bride for him, so of course it wasn't about attraction it was about seeking out what they were taught was right -- a virgin bride with baby fever.

Though I guess having siblings who are doing a variety of things is probably a big reason why Brandon is ok with Michael pursuing nursing school -- where she undoubtedly has classmates who are male, others who are not Christian or not practicing, and will have to deal with all types of patients including men in hospital gowns; while we all know she'll end up in an OBGYN or pediatrics type of practice area, thru training at least Brandon isn't holding her back from seeing men etc.

[BitterApple]

Wow, that's the first I've heard of any Fundie or Fundie-adjacent marrying a single mom. Very interesting. 

[Temperance]

2 hours ago, BitterApple said:

Wow, that's the first I've heard of any Fundie or Fundie-adjacent marrying a single mom. Very interesting. 

Anna Duggar's non fundie siblings all married as single parents. Rebekah Keller (divorcee), Daniel Keller (divorcee), and Suze Keller (single mom) all remarried or married after their kids were born. 

[RebeccatheWriter]

On 2/17/2020 at 4:47 PM, Sew Sumi said:

I've never seen evidence that any Bates spawn attended JTTH or ALERT. I imagine money was an issue, especially with the older kids.

Good point. I know that the older girls have done some of the IBLP mission-cations. And Erin and ????? did one of the music "seminars" in Chicago. Jinger and Jessa went with her and it was filmed for 19KAC. 

I'm just thinking out loud I guess. 

Edited February 19, 2020 by RebeccatheWriter

[Sew Sumi]

I know Michael and Erin went to Peru with Gothard. That has to be about 10 years ago now.

[RebeccatheWriter]

8 minutes ago, Sew Sumi said:

I know Michael and Erin went to Peru with Gothard. That has to be about 10 years ago now.

She, Alyssa, and Erin were at Journey to the Heart in 2009. 

https://fundamentalists.fandom.com/wiki/Michaela_Keilen?file=Jtth.jpg

 

[Sew Sumi]

I think the girl next to Erin is one of David Waller's sisters. 

[andromeda331]

8 hours ago, RebeccatheWriter said:

Good point. I know that the older girls have done some of the IBLP mission-cations. And Erin and ????? did one of the music "seminars" in Chicago. Jinger and Jessa went with her and it was filmed for 19KAC. 

I'm just thinking out loud I guess. 

 

2 hours ago, Sew Sumi said:

I know Michael and Erin went to Peru with Gothard. That has to be about 10 years ago now.

 

2 hours ago, RebeccatheWriter said:

She, Alyssa, and Erin were at Journey to the Heart in 2009. 

https://fundamentalists.fandom.com/wiki/Michaela_Keilen?file=Jtth.jpg

 

Thanks. I knew the older girls went on some stuff with Gothard without their parents. I remember that coming up when it came out he was harassing girls that Gil and probably Kelly had known and still sent his daughters off with him. But couldn't remember which IBLP stuff they had gone on.

[Temperance]

2 hours ago, Sew Sumi said:

I think the girl next to Erin is one of David Waller's sisters. 

Yes I think so. The girl in the top left corner pink shirt looks familar, but I can't place her. 

[Kbo]

On 2/19/2020 at 12:27 PM, RebeccatheWriter said:

She, Alyssa, and Erin were at Journey to the Heart in 2009. 

https://fundamentalists.fandom.com/wiki/Michaela_Keilen?file=Jtth.jpg

 

Is that Alyssa in the second row, second girl from the left with her eyes closed?  I had to triple look trying to pick her out. Wow, she’s come a long way.

[RebeccatheWriter]

58 minutes ago, Kbo said:

Is that Alyssa in the second row, second girl from the left with her eyes closed?  I had to triple look trying to pick her out. Wow, she’s come a long way.

She has certainly had a glow up. That's one of her more flattering looks. She used to have a near unibrow. 

[emmawoodhouse]

Saw on instagram that Michael has finished school. She is now studying for the NCLEX. 

[andromeda331]

2 hours ago, emmawoodhouse said:

Saw on instagram that Michael has finished school. She is now studying for the NCLEX. 

Good for her.

[floridamom]

What's the NCLEX? I'm happy for her. I know her studies are merely a replacement for having a baby. When I saw this thread here, I hoped that she was expecting. She deserves to have a baby or two of her own. They will never adopt.

[emmawoodhouse]

NCLEX is the nursing exam. She will take the PN version for LPNs. It's similar to the bar exam. You have to pass to practice.

[floridamom]

I was happy to see that Michaela was not wearing an modesty undershirt below her nurse uniform.

[Temperance]

Again I feel very sorry for any LGBTQ+ patients or people who don't share Michael's beliefs and have to interact with her. I have little hope that she and Brandon have evolved in any meaningful sense from their childhoods. 

At least she has a plan if the show and IBLP go under. Her brothers should take notes. 

[BitterApple]

Kind of a sad post from Michaela. Her fertility issues are hitting her hard, and she's been struggling with the holiday season. 

https://www.reddit.com/r/BringingUpBates/comments/rirw0q/michaela_says_that_her_infertility_struggle_has/

My heart truly breaks for her. I can't imagine how hard it is to watch her sisters pop out babies while she can't even get a foot in the door. And to add insult to injury, one sister got pregnant with only 1/3 of an ovary. 

At this stage, I can't understand why she and Brandon don't look into adoption. It's expensive if you go the foreign route, but plenty of families become foster parents and adopt through the American system. It's foolish to deny yourself the one thing you really want just because some 80 year-old moron declared adoptees "tainted." 

[So unbelievable]

22 hours ago, BitterApple said:

Kind of a sad post from Michaela. Her fertility issues are hitting her hard, and she's been struggling with the holiday season. 

https://www.reddit.com/r/BringingUpBates/comments/rirw0q/michaela_says_that_her_infertility_struggle_has/

My heart truly breaks for her. I can't imagine how hard it is to watch her sisters pop out babies while she can't even get a foot in the door. And to add insult to injury, one sister got pregnant with only 1/3 of an ovary. 

At this stage, I can't understand why she and Brandon don't look into adoption. It's expensive if you go the foreign route, but plenty of families become foster parents and adopt through the American system. It's foolish to deny yourself the one thing you really want just because some 80 year-old moron declared adoptees "tainted." 

I've always thought it would be nice if one her sisters was a surrogate for her.  They probably don't believe in that and some sisters not very healthy to choose from.  

[cereality]

While surrogacy seems like an obvious thing for someone with 37 sisters, I really don't think you can ask someone to be a surrogate until they are for sure done expanding their own families. In this case they are ALL looking to have MANY more kids; any pregnancy could be your last - if it causes some kind of damage where you can't get pregnant or carry a child again; can you imagine the lifelong resentment if a sister carries a baby for Michaela, something dire happens, and that means she'll "only" ever have 2-5 kids, when she was planning 7+?? Plus I don't think any of the sisters are healthy enough that a dr would allow surrogacy on top of their own yearly pregnancy - Josie/Tori/Carlin all have various clotting/blood disorders; Alyssa has heart problems; and Erin has had significant reproductive surgeries.

Honestly a better idea for a surrogate could be Kelly's 2 younger adopted sisters - both in their 30s and not fundie so likely they're having 2-3 kids max; plus Michael seems to have an actual relationship with them as she's talked about how she calls them etc. so it's not like Kelly and co. who ignore the adopted African American sisters.

Hate to say this but if they aren't going to pursue IVF hard - as in as many cycles as it takes to make at least one baby - or adopt, they REALLY should move away from her family. I get it - she is crazy for babies so it's normal for her to go to any family event and have a child on her hip the whole time; it's normal for her to be like Erin's kid has a birthday coming up and Erin isn't up to it so I'll make a cake. No one is forcing her. She gets her kid fix this way. And the kids genuinely love her and Brandon; Erin posted a video yesterday as they were getting ready to go to the family Christmas party asking her 2 year old who she wanted to see at the party - kid immediately goes Michael and Brandon. Like EVERY pic from yesterday's Christmas party showed Michael with a baby?? I mean there are even pics of the other couples hanging out w/o kids - prob bc their own kids are off playing - and instead of being with them, Michael and Brandon are with the kids?? It's a bit much.

BUT I strongly suspect that after spending time with these kids - she goes home and is broken probably for days about how they don't have their OWN kid. Getting a kid fix is one thing but being around kids a few times a wk, every week for YEARS on end - bc there will be MANY more Bates babies in the local area as Josie and Carlin and Whit aren't done yet - is taking something away mentally. They ought to consider a move to Michigan. I don't think all his siblings live there and for the ones that do, they'll have a "reasonable" 4-6 kids and move on; and as those kids get older it'll be easier for Michael. Because I honestly think she's broken about not having a BABY or toddler - she'll be much less broken when she's around Brandon's 12 and 15 year old nieces and nephews. Sure she'll always wonder what might have been but it won't be the same as having Nathan or Katie or Lawson's or Addie/Ellie/Callie's babies on her hip for the next two decades. 

I wish they'd get over themselves and do IVF instead of Brandon's "pray harder" routine. Or adopt. Domestic adoptions are actually VERY expensive - bc there's a huge "premium" for white babies; but if they're willing to go international or in the US African American, it's totally doable. And now with Tiff in the family, there are going to be half Asian babies - is it THAT big of a deal if Michael and Brandon add a few fully Asian grandkids to the mix?? Hate to say it but in this family IDK if I'd go African American - I mean if you want a baby sure - but I can totally imagine Kelly treating those grandkids differently.

[IndianPaintbrush]

I think Michael and Brandon would make great parents to any child who needed a home, and I really hope they're not still using the Gothard excuse to avoid it. An adoptee is about to marry into the family; surely they can see it's not something to fear. I hope they are at least talking about it in private, because boy, Michael really doesn't sound well.

[SMama]

7 hours ago, cereality said:

While surrogacy seems like an obvious thing for someone with 37 sisters, I really don't think you can ask someone to be a surrogate until they are for sure done expanding their own families. In this case they are ALL looking to have MANY more kids; any pregnancy could be your last - if it causes some kind of damage where you can't get pregnant or carry a child again; can you imagine the lifelong resentment if a sister carries a baby for Michaela, something dire happens, and that means she'll "only" ever have 2-5 kids, when she was planning 7+?? Plus I don't think any of the sisters are healthy enough that a dr would allow surrogacy on top of their own yearly pregnancy - Josie/Tori/Carlin all have various clotting/blood disorders; Alyssa has heart problems; and Erin has had significant reproductive surgeries.

Honestly a better idea for a surrogate could be Kelly's 2 younger adopted sisters - both in their 30s and not fundie so likely they're having 2-3 kids max; plus Michael seems to have an actual relationship with them as she's talked about how she calls them etc. so it's not like Kelly and co. who ignore the adopted African American sisters.

Hate to say this but if they aren't going to pursue IVF hard - as in as many cycles as it takes to make at least one baby - or adopt, they REALLY should move away from her family. I get it - she is crazy for babies so it's normal for her to go to any family event and have a child on her hip the whole time; it's normal for her to be like Erin's kid has a birthday coming up and Erin isn't up to it so I'll make a cake. No one is forcing her. She gets her kid fix this way. And the kids genuinely love her and Brandon; Erin posted a video yesterday as they were getting ready to go to the family Christmas party asking her 2 year old who she wanted to see at the party - kid immediately goes Michael and Brandon. Like EVERY pic from yesterday's Christmas party showed Michael with a baby?? I mean there are even pics of the other couples hanging out w/o kids - prob bc their own kids are off playing - and instead of being with them, Michael and Brandon are with the kids?? It's a bit much.

BUT I strongly suspect that after spending time with these kids - she goes home and is broken probably for days about how they don't have their OWN kid. Getting a kid fix is one thing but being around kids a few times a wk, every week for YEARS on end - bc there will be MANY more Bates babies in the local area as Josie and Carlin and Whit aren't done yet - is taking something away mentally. They ought to consider a move to Michigan. I don't think all his siblings live there and for the ones that do, they'll have a "reasonable" 4-6 kids and move on; and as those kids get older it'll be easier for Michael. Because I honestly think she's broken about not having a BABY or toddler - she'll be much less broken when she's around Brandon's 12 and 15 year old nieces and nephews. Sure she'll always wonder what might have been but it won't be the same as having Nathan or Katie or Lawson's or Addie/Ellie/Callie's babies on her hip for the next two decades. 

I wish they'd get over themselves and do IVF instead of Brandon's "pray harder" routine. Or adopt. Domestic adoptions are actually VERY expensive - bc there's a huge "premium" for white babies; but if they're willing to go international or in the US African American, it's totally doable. And now with Tiff in the family, there are going to be half Asian babies - is it THAT big of a deal if Michael and Brandon add a few fully Asian grandkids to the mix?? Hate to say it but in this family IDK if I'd go African American - I mean if you want a baby sure - but I can totally imagine Kelly treating those grandkids differently.

International adoption is very expensive. Right now China is only processing adoptions (if at all) of children with multiple special needs. We left China (with our daughter) two weeks before the 2008 Olympics. I took a break from the Online groups I frequented and returned just one month later.  I was surprised how adoptions pretty much came to a halt. South Korea could still be an option. Also, Michael would need a four year degree, and the minimum income to adopt which has increased significantly. A domestic adoption through the State is more realistic for them. 

Edited December 19, 2021 by SMama

[crimson23]

I agree, the way they fawn over every baby is annoying.

I would think surrogacy outside the family would make more sense for them.   Also, one of my sister in laws had a hard time getting pregnant due to her being overweight.  I was surprised to hear that could be an issue,  but  it's a reality. I googled it.

[cereality]

I have a feeling that 99% of her thoughts are consumed with - OMG I don't have a baby; I'm not a mom; I'm not a real woman and wife bc I'm not a mom and didn't make my husband a dad . . . . And because of that she doesn't even realize that all she does is fawn all over babies when she sees one. I mean literally EVERY event they're at, Michael HAS to have a baby the ENTIRE time; at Nathan's wedding, she's sitting there at the ceremony giving Maci a bottle?? You know her sisters are 100% fine with this bc who doesn't want to dump their kid for a few hours and hang with adults, but it's a bit over the top as far as Michael's socialization.

It's fine to love kids, talk to them a bit at an event, be the aunt that invites them over for a special activity a few times a year, or the aunt that bakes a special bday cake for a niece/nephew that you are especially close to. BUT Michael you NEED to hang out with the grownups too. Like at the Christmas party there were plenty of pics with Bobby/Tori, Travis/Katie, Chad/Erin, Law/Nathan/Trace and their women, and of course the single teens sitting around without kids as I assume the kids were off playing. They really couldn't hang out with them or find ANYTHING to talk to them about??

[cereality]

So Michael is being REALLY open regarding her fertility issues on her IG question/answer post. Turns out that she has multiple clotting disorders. They apparently have now gotten in with a fertility specialist who had an eight month waiting list and that dr has provided answers to things that were "unknown" before. Kind of wonder why they waited six years to go with that type of dr given their desperation for children - like why even waste years with Dr. Vick who was like "do what you need to do." She says they've never considered surrogacy/asking her sisters to carry a baby, and now they know it isn't medically an option either. Wonder if that is bc she told the dr that every sister has some clotting disorder or heart issues; or if it's bc her issue isn't carrying a child but the sperm meeting the egg. Though assuming it's a sperm/egg meeting issue, I'm surprised they haven't retrieved both and created the embryo and implanted it though I wonder if that's their religious belief to not have conception outside the body.

She also says both she and Brandon are very open to adoption. IDK how much I believe her but kind of do. She says both fertility treatment and adoption are expensive so they aren't able to pursue both at the same time and last year focused on fertility treatments and the health issues discovered by that dr. So IDK if she means adoption is ok for real or if she means - we'll pursue fertility treatments for years more until drs say there's absolutely no chance and THEN we'll look to adopt. IDK though her tone seems "optimistic" that they WILL have a family - so maybe they are making strides w/ this dr. or if that must be by adoption it will be.

I will say though this woman needs a focus that ISN'T babies. I get it - if you want kids and can't have them that's always going to be a void, but IDK normal people have that void while still holding down a job that occupies their mind 40 hrs/wk?? She gives me the vibe that unless she's actively cooking, cleaning, or talking to Brandon about his day - she is praying for babies?? She goes so far as to say that they've cried when their nieces/nephews go home after a visit - leading me to believe it's one of those - OF COURSE we must have the kids over bc we have to play aunt/uncle, I NEED to be around kids, and then when they leave she's broken for days about how they don't have THEIR OWN baby??! 

This is a woman who could use some regular adult interaction where she isn't holding a baby. But as she clarified yesterday, her nursing degree was just for "personal fulfillment" and to be prepared should her grandparents [and I assume Gil/Kelly] need medical help as they age but she doesn't intend to work . . . as she focuses on her fertility, full time apparently. Seems mentally unhealthy. She and Brandon are young w/ no kids right now and not tied down to a school schedule - why couldn't they travel and enjoy life?? Sure keep pursuing fertility treatments but why not save up and go rent an apartment on a beach for a month or go to London for a week, instead of sitting home praying for babies all day every day?

[emmawoodhouse]

And with her nursing degree, why isn't she taking care of Kelly's mother who appears to have Long Covid? I guess she only means to care for Papa Bill and Mama Jane?

[BitterApple]

I read Michael's Q&A and if finances are a roadblock to parenthood, then why isn't she working? Even if she just worked for a year or two, she could bank a ton of money. Live off Brandon's salary, save hers, and boom. There's your money for adoption or in vitro. I respect Michael's right to have her religious beliefs, but I feel like they're keeping her in limbo. She really went to nursing school to take care of her grandparents? Two of whom don't even live in the same state? Come on. 

 

[emmawoodhouse]

Kelly's nom doesn't live in TN, either. I think she's in NC.

[BitterApple]

48 minutes ago, emmawoodhouse said:

Kelly's nom doesn't live in TN, either. I think she's in NC.

Oh, wow. I didn't know that. I thought she was local. 

[iluvobx]

On 1/2/2022 at 10:10 PM, emmawoodhouse said:

Kelly's nom doesn't live in TN, either. I think she's in NC.

Kelly's mom got the hell out of Tenn and if my memory is correct, she lives lake front in NC.  Truthfully, I think Kelly is very glad that her mom doesn't live near them.  I think Kelly dislikes her own mom and is embarrassed by her and her ways (ie:  adopting a black female, divorcing and then remarrying.  All the things that Kelly's cult disapproves of).

 

[SMama]

On 1/2/2022 at 6:00 PM, BitterApple said:

I read Michael's Q&A and if finances are a roadblock to parenthood, then why isn't she working? Even if she just worked for a year or two, she could bank a ton of money. Live off Brandon's salary, save hers, and boom. There's your money for adoption.

 

This is what SBaba and I did when we decided to adopt internationally.  At the time I was making twice as much as him, in part due to his job. SBaba’s city job provided better medical insurance than my County job. By renouncing my medical insurance the Couny refunded me $400 a month. I also received an extra $200 a month because I’m bilingual and had ESL clients. At the time we were allowed to volunteer to be on call nights and weekends and I added an obscene amount of money to my income. Who knew insomnia would pay so well? I can’t believe that was almost 15 years ago.
 

We didn’t touch my income for close to three years. Our only luxury during that time was season tickets to Six Flags in the Bay Area. As a result we returned home from China debt free. Our savings also supplemented SBaba’s income when we became aware that one of us would need to stay home with SBaby due to attachment  and orphanage neglect issues. Although he was the sole provider we flew to the east coast, PR, and Maui yearly. 

Michael is a fool not to take advantage of her degree and start a healthy nest egg. 

[Peanut6711]

I wholeheartedly agree that:

A. It's not mentally healthy to be so focused on your infertility that it stops you from living an active life and enjoying other things.  That type of approach might even make the situation worse.  If they are now seeing a fertility specialist, I hope they are aware of that and help her find a better method of coping in the meantime.  Fertility (or infertility, either way) shouldn't be a full-time job, but then that's part of the problem with the mindset of their cult. 

B. Working right now makes a ton of financial sense and could possibly help them reach their goal sooner. In fact, given the health care shortage, I'd image she could pick up lots of extra shifts and bank more money in a short period of time.  

...unless part of the reason she's really not working is vaccination status???

[3 is enough]

I am not sure if she ever took or passed her nursing licensing test.  I saw a video clip where she and Kelly were talking about her studying for it, but never heard any more on the subject.  

 All this talk of her getting a job could be a moot point if she does not have her license.

[IndianPaintbrush]

I don't buy that she only went to nursing school so she could take care of her grandparents. I think she envisioned a cushy nursing job where she only worked around babies, and only during certain hours. God forbid Brandon should have to make his own dinner.

Edited January 7, 2022 by IndianPaintbrush

[ozziemom]

Maybe Brandon, who is her headship after all, was fine with her studying nursing but won’t allow her to have an actual job. I think he is more Fundie than some of the other son in laws, so it is ok to study something for helping family members. Sort of like Tori getting a teaching degree so she can homeschool.

[cereality]

I think they're both ridiculously fundie -much like Erin and Chad and Tori [IDK about Bobby being fundie but I do think he is very conservative/religious and traditional]. So yeah it's one thing for your wife to go to school for a helping profession like nursing or teaching but working outside the home in that profession - uh no; she can use her profession to help her family - when they eventually have a kid she can tend to scrape knees and colds; she could've helped Gil after his shoulder surgery or Kelly after her recent surgery had she been a nurse then etc.; and then of course "grandparents" - even though they live hundreds of miles away, sounds so sweet.

Plus how would it work in nursing - I'm sure M had visions of holding cute babies and helping laboring moms but both labor/delivery and NICU are way more specialized - she'd need more education and experience. She'd start in general hospital nursing - uh she'd have to deal with men . . . in hospital gowns; often seeing all the junk. Uh pretty sure that ain't allowed.

And given what we've learned of Michael's self esteem lately, you know she 100% thinks she's a bad wife bc she hasn't made Brandon a dad and considers herself soooo blessed that he's standing by her and still treating her well. Now if she's not even around to get a home cooked dinner on the table at 6 pm [not to mention lunch as well bc he's full time work from home - even before the pandemic]??? I mean in her head - her wife credentials would just be revoked at that point if poor Brandon had to microwave something she made earlier in the day and eat it alone and put the dish in the dishwasher after. Yet nurses just starting out work a lot of night shifts/have minimal schedule control so she couldn't be on just 9-5 bc . . . dinner.

That being said they're being dumb financially. There's $$$ needed for who knows how many rounds of fertility treatment, maybe adoption, and unlike most of her siblings they also don't own a house and will eventually need to buy something. Why not bring in some money beyond whatever extra comes from the baby blanket business?? Sure she can't do hospital nursing but demand EVERYWHERE is thru the roof right now. Why not try to get in with a doctor's office?? Much more likely to be 9-5 and really patient care is blood pressure, giving shots, the occasional EKG. Sure maybe that's more medical assistant work but given the shortages of employees right now I'm willing to be she could get hired; hell even being a medical receptionist answering phones at one of those offices could be an option bc they're so short handed they likely won't even care that you're a nurse willing to answer phones.

Edited January 8, 2022 by cereality

[GeeGolly]

My sister in law's first job after becoming a nurse was the overnight shift on the well mommy/baby post delivery floor. She's had the same job ever since. Michaela could certainly do something like that.

[ozziemom]

If Michael had a 9-5 job she wouldn’t be available on short notice to babysit for her various nieces and nephews.

[So unbelievable]

From what I understand, Michaela got her LPN, not RN.  The hospital/medical system I work for doesn't even hire any LPN's.  RN's only and they push you to get BSN within a few years of being hired.  Maybe she didn't research much before going to school.  Not knowing she'd have to go to more school after finishing the first degree.  Nursing homes usually hire LPN's and at a much lower pay rate than RN's. 

If she truly wanted to help her grandparents, she could have just gone to school for CNA.  Much, much shorter course.