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S03.E07: New Girl, Old Grudges


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Well the plots, sure. But Kristen's particular brand of crazy, the greasiness of these people, Tom's grooming routine, etc. - their particular personality disorders can't be scripted. I would enjoy seeing more of that, over Stassi's forced drop-ins, for example.

This. I am loving Kristen's Cray-cray. Yes, it's normal to want to look good when you see your ex, but not to dress up. Hair, make-up, normal attire. She so clearly cannot let go. I really don't want a storyline on Jax and the new chick. I really don't want a storyline on Jax, period, but watching him bed another chick? Yawn.

  • Love 2
Next season will be "[Van Der] PUMP Rules," right? Stupid Lisa putting her one restaurant out of business with her other restaurant.

 

I noticed that as well - a lot of hinting that SUR might not be viable much longer. Doesn't she own SUR with two other people? But what about Pump? Is that JUST hers with Ken? I almost wonder if she intentionally put Pump close by to put SUR out of business. But I'm paranoid like that....

  • Love 3

Given how often she talks about Jax and that George Glass is a dime store version of him looks-wise, Stassi is still obsessed with him.

 

 

      Wow, I looked up Patrick Meagher. You weren't kidding. Not a duplicate but definitely similar in type.

 

      I feel really bad for Vail Bloom. I remember her primarily for being on Cold Case, as the older version of Cherilyn Wilson's character on an episode. (That was GREAT casting, by the way- Vail and Cherilyn really do look like they could be the same person at different points in their life.) She's actually had a legitimate acting career so it just sucks to see her being willing to resort to this.

TMZ has the scoop on how much they're paid. This season, they get $5,000 an episode, but they want to get twice that: $10K! They don't mind flying coach anymore,  after they had complained about it, but they want to be paid what they're worth, dammit!

 

Stassi needs a new wardrobe, after all, to reflect the fact that she's apparently my age now (52) or even older!

 

And Flat Iron Tom needs to keep in hair appliances, Kristen needs her cigarettes, Muppet Boyfriend needs to buy some dumb new long beanie hats, Scheana needs more mink eyelashes...

 

Am I missing anything?

Edited by jennylauren123
  • Love 3

Stassi needs a new wardrobe, after all, to reflect the fact that she's apparently my age now (52) or even older!

And Flat Iron Tom needs to keep in hair appliances, Kristen needs her cigarettes, Muppet Boyfriend needs to buy some dumb new long beanie hats, Scheana needs more mink eyelashes...

Am I missing anything?

Yes, the most obvious one: Jax needs to pay for a tattoo of Vail's name.

  • Love 10

Idk, Schwartzie is looking as sweaty & disheveled as FI & Jax always do.  Yes, they're all overly groomed with their brows & hair.  And yet they all still have that drug addict look -- constantly sweaty & disheveled.

 

I'm still scratchin' my head over Vail's casual admission to Lisa, supposedly her employer, over drug usage in her past.  Um, who in the fuckety fuck would admit to ANY kind of drug use to their boss?  Let alone in such a ridiculously casual way.  And she admitted to considerable drug use, with what she said was "heavy drugs".  Just why in the hell would anyone admit to any of this -- to their boss???  And on national TV???  WTF???  Er, how does she expect to get any employment anywhere ever again?  Was she stoned outta her mind in dat moment or do they now let morons into Princeton?

 

Even if this is all scripted, how is Vail gonna explain it to future potential employers?  Oh, ho-hum, no biggie, Andy Cohen made me say all dat stuff?  Really?  Let's see ya try it, hun & we'll see how many Angelina death stares it gets ya.

Edited by ScoobieDoobs
  • Love 1

Kristen is my favorite to watch out of all of these bimbos. She's cray, very cray.

On a superficial note, I'll rank them from prettiest to hagliest:

1) Kristen (more for her figure and skin tone than her face)

2) Schmer (kind of saddlebaggy, but the best face of them)

3) Stassi (good figure but weird face and square jaw of a man)

4) Katie (she could easily go above Stassi if she fixed her eyebrows and hair)

5) Plain Jane Ariana (completely unremarkable and rodent-ish features, like if a rat made a wish to become a real live girl)

 

 

This. I am loving Kristen's Cray-cray. Yes, it's normal to want to look good when you see your ex, but not to dress up. Hair, make-up, normal attire. She so clearly cannot let go. I really don't want a storyline on Jax and the new chick. I really don't want a storyline on Jax, period, but watching him bed another chick? Yawn.

 

 

Kristin is way crazy, the way her chin goes down and her eyes get all intense... seriously hide all the sharp objects Tom!!  

 

I groaned when I saw where they are going with the Jax/Vail story line.  He is not interesting!!!  Greasy, glassy eyed, easter island head loser is so right!  (Big shout-out to all you awesomely creative posters who come up with these descriptions!)  

 

Scraping the bottom of the barrel much Bravo?  

Idk, Schwartzie is looking as sweaty & disheveled as FI & Jax always do.  Yes, they're all overly groomed with their brows & hair.  And yet they all still have that drug addict look -- constantly sweaty & disheveled.

 

I'm still scratching my head over Vail's casual admission to Lisa, her employer, over drug usage in her past.  Um, who in the fuckety fuck would admit to drug usage to their boss?  And in such a ridiculously casual way.  And why in the hell would you admit this on national TV?  Er, how does she expect to get any employment anywhere ever again?  Was she stoned outta her mind in dat moment or do they now let morons into Princeton?

 

Even if this is all scripted, how is Vail gonna explain that to future employers?  Oh, Andy Cohen made me say this stuff?  Really?  Let's see ya try it, hun & we'll see how many Angelina death stares it gets ya.

I was shocked by her quick admission too.  Did Lisa already know and they (Lisa and Bravo) thought it would make a great segway into their next scripted plot?

Don't you need to go to Princeton to be a SUR hostess?

I'd luv for Kristen to show up at FI's place next time in a wedding dress, full-on with all da bridal shit. Oh man, dat would be so awesome!

So is Muppet gonna dump Kristen?

 

"I WON'T BE IGNORED, TOM".  Cue table lamp clicking on & off, and chef's knife digging into a skanky thigh.  Good thing Ariana doesn't have a pet bunny.

 

(I am totally dating myself)

  • Love 8
I thought it was interesting that Lisa said Vail was too pretty, smart, etc. to last working at Sur. I'm sure the other waitstaff was pretty insulted.

 

 

Well, the rest of the female staff is who?  Katie, Kristen, Schemer, Arianna & Kristina -- er, along with countless Kristina fembot clones?

Edited by ScoobieDoobs

Man, I just got all my thoughts out in a post and my phone fucked up. I'm as lazy as Schwartz on an after binge high so not doing it again. Here is the condensed version:

I bought, hook line and sinker, the FI Tom and Kristen apt showdown. Bravo or not, that conversation felt real.

I have a hard core crush on Schwartz. I know, don't exile me. I love him. When he said he was mimicking hand motions on the phone, I wanted him under me.

Princeton grad looks older to me (and I'm 35-to me she kinda looks my age). Yet as I watched I felt I was to feel she was 20s. Anyone know?

At Stassi's house they had ordered Dominos! Wonder if they used a coupon to get those parmesan bites.

Sorry if this has all been said and I missed it. Steve Jobs giving me a fit today.

  • Love 6

This. I am loving Kristen's Cray-cray. Yes, it's normal to want to look good when you see your ex, but not to dress up. Hair, make-up, normal attire. She so clearly cannot let go. I really don't want a storyline on Jax and the new chick. I really don't want a storyline on Jax, period, but watching him bed another chick? Yawn.

C'mon! It will be fun to guess which STD she needs treatment for first!

Wow, I looked up Patrick Meagher. You weren't kidding. Not a duplicate but definitely similar in type.

 

      I feel really bad for Vail Bloom. I remember her primarily for being on Cold Case, as the older version of Cherilyn Wilson's character on an episode. (That was GREAT casting, by the way- Vail and Cherilyn really do look like they could be the same person at different points in their life.) She's actually had a legitimate acting career so it just sucks to see her being willing to resort to this.

Cocaine is a helluva drug.

  • Love 1
Princeton grad looks older to me (and I'm 35-to me she kinda looks my age). Yet as I watched I felt I was to feel she was 20s. Anyone know?

 

 

Well, according to Wiki and/or IMDB, Vail is 32.  Usually ya can add at least 3 years to the ages listed on those things, so there ya go -- she probably is your age!  Remember this is VR, the land where everyone is 35, but act bizarrely like they're teenagers.

 

I have a hard core crush on Schwartz. I know, don't exile me. I love him. When he said he was mimicking hand motions on the phone, I wanted him under me.

 

 

Well, maybe previously, when we didn't know what a panic-stricken pussy he is, I sorta liked him.  But the druggy new Schwartzie, who always looks sweaty, always has messed up hair & never wears shoes?  Nah, no competition from me (maybe from Tequila/Motorboat Katie, but not from me).  You can have him.  But expect to financially support his lazy ass -- even for a one-time lay.  And don't expect him to defend you ever.  Sounds awesome, eh?  Again, not to me.

Edited by ScoobieDoobs
  • Love 4

Regarding Ariana being present or not during Tom and Kristin's meetings, I definitely think Ariana has the right to be present if it makes her more comfortable. My irritation with her comes from her insistance that she isn't bothered and doesn't care if Kristin and Tom see each other without her present. She is allowed to feel uncomfortable about this, but she seems to go out of her way to assure everyone that she isn't bothered/doesn't care/is so above it all. Perhaps my impression is tainted from previous episodes and the unfortunate night I read her condescending Bravo blogs!

 

It's obvious to everyone (including her DJ boyfriend) that Kristin is still trying to get back with or at least hook up with FI Tom. The scene in the apartment felt amost real to me. Well played!

 

And I agree wholeheartedly with those who said that the green dress was not flattering on Kristin. I actually think that Kristin has a great body this season, but the low cut did her no favors. The idea, as stated above, is to look like you look fabulous with no effort- not as if you spent two hours getting ready!

OK, so what can we predict for Kristen's outfit for her next visit to FI's place?  A ball gown?  A string bikini?  Victoria's Secret something or other?  Nothing?  A cigarette?  A martini?  Pitcher of Sangria?  Er, will she offer to motorboat him?  What?

 

And yeah, Arianna is still trying oh-so-hard with dat I'm too-cool-for-school vibe she's fuckin' pushing at us non-stop.  I just can't with her anymore.  I mean it.  I really can't.

 

Oh man, this really is hilarious.  I didn't even see da fuckin' shoes Kristen was wearing.  Oh.  My.  God!!!

 

http://www.bravotv.com/vanderpump-rules/season-3/videos/exclusive-extended-scenes-from-vanderpump-rules?clip=2834680

Edited by ScoobieDoobs
  • Love 1

I tried to watch the repeat last night but only got to the lame PRIDE festivities with the clueless straights oggling the gayfolk instead of buying food at SUR before changing channels.

I noticed that as well - a lot of hinting that SUR might not be viable much longer. Doesn't she own SUR with two other people? But what about Pump? Is that JUST hers with Ken? I almost wonder if she intentionally put Pump close by to put SUR out of business. But I'm paranoid like that....

I think it's incompetence on Lisa Vanderbucks' part.

Speaking of which, I concur about Vail blabbibg her drug abuse history in that interview.

Kristin is way crazy, the way her chin goes down and her eyes get all intense... seriously hide all the sharp objects Tom!!

 

Interesting take. I was thinking yesterday that Kristen thinks that's her best angle, and that's why she works it so often. She drops her chin and looks up, intensely!

 

Stassi's vocal inflection has changed. She now adds a perceivable, almost-swallowed syllable to the ends of her sentences.

 

It's hard to capture, but it sounds kind of like: "I mean, what was she thinking-uh? We all know how she feels-uh." Anyone else catch that?

Edited by jennylauren123
  • Love 1
Well, maybe previously, when we didn't know what a panic-stricken pussy he is, I sorta liked him.  But the druggy new Schwartzie, who always looks sweaty, always has messed up hair & never wears shoes?

 

I think Schwartz is pretty cute (although not really MY type), but his hair - yes! It's gotten crazier and crazier every season. At that dinner with Katie it was like a cockatoo landed on his head. Maybe he needs to borrow Other Tom's flat iron. 

  • Love 4

This episode was so boring that I actually slept through about 2/3 of it.  Did manage to catch stASSi droning on incessantly about "exile" for Jax.  Uh, why is she on this show again? 

 

$5,000.00 AN EPISODE?????  Man, they are all completely and totally OVERPAID!

 

Seems to me this crew is getting to be sooooo boring that maybe Lisa VanderBucks needs to just transfer the show to Pump.  It might be interesting to see what goes on in that bunch's lives.

I am older than Vail (40), so I have no business crushin' on Schwartz. In real life, I get it, the guy has nothing going for him. But just for entertainment purposes, I think he's adorable. I admit that in that scene when he went to Stassi's, I thought he looked hot with his hair was swooped back just right and glasses on. You know how some women think men with some facial scruff makes them look hotter? Well, glasses are my thing. (My husband wears them.) I think any guy looks 40-60% hotter in glasses. Hell, last season (or the season before) Jax put on fake glasses one episode, and I even thought he looked hot! (Thank god this forum is anonymous. That's embarrassing to admit!)

  • Love 5

Tom Schwartz is the only guy on the show I actually find physically cute.

 

Sandoval has something weird and jacked up with his face that I can't really pinpoint, but at the same time, I get why he's treated like an attractive guy. He really should stop with trying the facial hair scruff look- the mustache just looks odd.

  • Love 2
Sandoval has something weird and jacked up with his face that I can't really pinpoint

 

 

I can help.  His teeth are gnarly as fuck -- his upper front teeth are all small, with lots of spaces.  And he has beady eyes.  The combo of those 2 traits gives him a very, very shady/shifty look to me.  And it doesn't help that his skin has a shitty look -- probably from too much drinking & ciggies.  All his moisturizing & forehead shaving ain't ever gonna be able overcome the effects of too much drinking, ciggies, sun & er, drugs.  All dat stuff shows right up on your face.  Kristen ain't lookin' so hot these days either.  Wonder why.  Neither is Jax or Vail, who I keep calling Val.

Kind of goes along with Amy Phillips' take ("I'm not a stalker, I'm a bird watcher! And some of the best birds are at Tom's apartment."), but Kristen's blog said she was dressed up because she had just gone to celebrate something or another with her best friend Rachael. She could of course be lying, or perhaps Rachael is what she calls her life size Tom effigy. That's her story, though.

Edited by The Mighty Peanut
  • Love 2

Kind of goes along with Amy Phillips' take ("I'm not a stalker, I'm a bird watcher! And some of the best birds are at Tom's apartment."), but Kristen's blog said she was dressed up because she had just gone to celebrate something or another with her best friend Rachael. It could be she was lying, or Rachael is what she calls her life size Tom effigy. That's her story, though.

That manages it to make it more pathetic! Either own it or don't mention it, but a celebration? Hahahahahaha!

Regarding my Schwartz love. I will own it, I will, but I also hit the Pinot pretty hard last night (brutal day at work + VR=game on) so maybe that helped. I just enjoyed the hell out of that episode and others fell asleep. I'm scared to rewatch it, haha! But I dig him. I think he's funny and cool. He'd never date me, I'm Jax age, but from this couch view, yeah, I'd bang him ;)

Edited to remove a double post. If this is wonky, my phone hates this site sometimes, I'm sorry.

Edited by KnoxForPres
  • Love 1

In vino veritas, Knox baby.  :-)   No shame, no judgement.  Hell, I probably fucked & forgot a lot worse than Schwartzie in my brief but illustrious slutty youth.  (Well, maybe not forgot; I'm sure I could dredge up a first name and face, if pressed, but you get my drift).  :-)

 

I'll match your shame by admitting I can't fucking WAIT to see what Kristen wears to pick up her mail next week.  If Stassi appears in a DAR ladies-who-lunch suit and pearls I will squee with glee.  And if Jax appears with a Vail (Vale?) tattoo, I might just pee myself for the first time in over half a century.  Now I need to go watch some PBS - my version of the lemon cleanse.  :-)

  • Love 3

OK, so what can we predict for Kristen's outfit for her next visit to FI's place?  A ball gown?  A string bikini?  Victoria's Secret something or other?  Nothing?  A cigarette?  A martini?  Pitcher of Sangria?  Er, will she offer to motorboat him?  What?

 

And yeah, Arianna is still trying oh-so-hard with dat I'm too-cool-for-school vibe she's fuckin' pushing at us non-stop.  I just can't with her anymore.  I mean it.  I really can't.

 

Oh man, this really is hilarious.  I didn't even see da fuckin' shoes Kristen was wearing.  Oh.  My.  God!!!

 

http://www.bravotv.com/vanderpump-rules/season-3/videos/exclusive-extended-scenes-from-vanderpump-rules?clip=2834680

 

I'm praying to the goddesses she turns up decked out in a tattered wedding dress a la a modern day Miss Havisham, topped off with a bouquet of dead calla lilies, reciting lines from Great Expectations, such as "Love her, love her, love her! If she favours you, love her. If she wounds you, love her. If she tears your heart to pieces—and as it gets older and stronger, it will tear deeper—love her, love her, love her!"

 

But I'm extremely perverse and twisted.  

 

And I've now had too much coffee and my caffeine-stimulated imagination is running wild with possibilities.  

  • Love 9

I don't buy Kristen's story of having been at some celebration with her friend "Rachel" right before going to Tom's. Cos if she were really going to some event before hitting FI Tom's for her mail *wink wink* she would have mentioned it to James as she was getting ready. I mean he flat out made some comment about her getting all dolled up just to stop by FI Tom's and she was all sheepishly "..yeahh.." instead of something like "oh well I have that lunch thing first with Rachel first." while she messes with her hair. She wouldn't have even had to mention a name, but just the fact that she was attending a party. Likely she'd have told him about it before that point anyway. I call total bullshit on "Rachel". I firmly believe she went over there with the intent to get him alone and try to fuck him. Luckily he had Schwartz as a buffer, cos I am sure he was planning on her pulling out that kinda crazy shit. She's not being exactly subtle about her intent, to anyone. 

 

And whether Ariana cares if FI sees Kristen without her doesn't matter. She has every right to be around (especially in his apartment) when Kristen shows up. Kristen is the one who is bugged by that, not Ariana. And the way Kristen was basically telling Ariana to "step off and mind her own business" between her and FI would have pissed me the fuck off too, whether I was secure with my man or otherwise. Kristen needs to back the fuck off and take note that everyone sees right through her plans to try and corner FI Tom. It's pathetic. If some chick I worked with (and disliked) was doing that to my man I would have issues too, and definitely be talking about how lame and sad she is. 


Cos you know if she somehow had managed to get him alone she would have tried making some creepy/rapey type advances and if he rejected her (which would be likely) she'd run around saying something did happen just to get revenge and stir up shit. I could even see a situation like that ending up with the police involved. Kristen is (or was then) acting like a total psycho.

  • Love 1

I don't buy Kristen's story of having been at some celebration with her friend "Rachel" right before going to Tom's. Cos if she were really going to some event before hitting FI Tom's for her mail *wink wink* she would have mentioned it to James as she was getting ready. I mean he flat out made some comment about her getting all dolled up just to stop by FI Tom's and she was all sheepishly "..yeahh.." instead of something like "oh well I have that lunch thing first with Rachel first." while she messes with her hair. She wouldn't have even had to mention a name, but just the fact that she was attending a party. Likely she'd have told him about it before that point anyway. I call total bullshit on "Rachel". I firmly believe she went over there with the intent to get him alone and try to fuck him. Luckily he had Schwartz as a buffer, cos I am sure he was planning on her pulling out that kinda crazy shit. She's not being exactly subtle about her intent, to anyone. 

 

 

What kind of psycho tells their current boyfriend "I'm totally going to have a nip slip today" before going to see their ex???

I think there may be some editing trickery going on here. In her talking heads, she looks like she is wearing the same green outfit. Maybe Kristen made the the "nip slip" comment about filming, then went to film, then went to the apartment flustered at the end of a long day.

I watch a lot of Bravo. That's my excuse for giving any one these people the benefit of the doubt. Bravo knows how to edit in "a mountain out of a hole mill", in Ramona speak.

  • Love 4

Saw First Look for next ep.  They're gonna grill Val like crazy.  Is it OK if I call her Val?

 

I am older than Vail (40), so I have no business crushin' on Schwartz. In real life, I get it, the guy has nothing going for him. But just for entertainment purposes, I think he's adorable. I admit that in that scene when he went to Stassi's, I thought he looked hot with his hair was swooped back just right and glasses on.

 

 

I hear ya, but I think he's seriously letting himself go.  And if it's cuz he's doing drugs, I absolutely want no part of him.  I mean really -- WTF else has he got to do all day?  He doesn't work.  Wouldn't be at all surprised if he is doing drugs.

  • Love 2

I think Schwartz is pretty cute (although not really MY type), but his hair - yes! It's gotten crazier and crazier every season. At that dinner with Katie it was like a cockatoo landed on his head. Maybe he needs to borrow Other Tom's flat iron. 

I'm quoting you but not picking on you here, but are girls/women actually attracted to guys that skinny? 

 

If I dated a guy that slim, I'd feel like I was dating a woman.

 

Maybe it's because I'm from the Midwest, but I'd rather be with a guy that was 230 lbs., than 130 lbs.

  • Love 1

I guess I'll be the only one who thinks this, but I think that if it were not for VPR, that FI Tom and Kristen might actually be together.  I just got the sense that FI felt a lot of pressure to break up with Kristen from everyone around.

 

They had both cheated multiple times, and their relationship was messed up for certain, but I don't feel that Kristen sleeping with Easter Island Head (hee hee, I forgot who said that upthread) would have been a deal breaker for him except for social pressure.  He was still being really good to her last season after he found out the truth.

 

Add me to the list of those who don't buy his relationship with beady-eyed, rat-toothed, small-featured Ariana for a second.

  • Love 1

I agree with MissMel, Kristin wears the same green dress, hair, and makeup in her THs, so she probably filmed them at the same time she was scheduled to film the scene at Tom's apartment.

 

FI Tom has terrible taste in women. Kristin is batshit crazy and Ariana is insecure, defensive, and too eager to prove what a "cool girl" she is. That being said FI Tom is no better. They all suck in various ways. Not to mention that they're all cheaters!

 

I find Tom Shwartz physically attractive, but his personality cancels that out.

Edited by Granimal
  • Love 2
, but Kristen's blog said she was dressed up because she had just gone to celebrate something or another with her best friend Rachael. She could of course be lying, or perhaps Rachael is what she calls her life size Tom effigy. That's her story, though.

 

Really? Then why is she styling what looked to be WET hair when she was at Muppet James's apartment? If she was out to "celebrate" with her "best friend", wouldn't her hair have already been done? Did she need to re-style prior to meeting up with her ex? What does THAT say about her? And where has this BFF, "Rachel", been all of these years??? Mmmmmhmmmm. 

 

I'm quoting you but not picking on you here, but are girls/women actually attracted to guys that skinny?

If I dated a guy that slim, I'd feel like I was dating a woman.

Maybe it's because I'm from the Midwest, but I'd rather be with a guy that was 230 lbs., than 130 lbs.

 

Well, everyone has a type, and I'm sure some women like skinny guys. Just like some guys prefer slim women, some prefer curvier ones, etc. etc.  When I was a punkrocker, back in high school, I actually liked skinny guys - with their tight jeans and combat boots. I think that's why I'm SOMETIMES still find skinny guys cute, even though that stopped being my type years ago. Yea, now I prefer big, husky guys. My husband is 6'3 and 250 lbs, most of it muscle, but he has him a bit of a belly. I like big, ol burly teddy bears now. But I can still say I think Schwartz is a bit cute in the way that I can look at a girl and say she's pretty without actually being attracted to her, if that makes any sense?

  • Love 5

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