S03.E05: In the Doghouse

[OnceSane]

Kristen and Tom Sandoval return after their suspensions. Elsewhere, rumors test Tom Schwartz and Katie's relationship and Stassi gets a chance to style Lisa for a photo shoot.

[ScoobieDoobs]

Oh my goodness.  Is our Tequila Katie now . . . um, Motorboat Katie?  Ew.

[ihartcoffee]

Jax sure is invested in breaking Tom and Katie up. Geesh.

[ScoobieDoobs]

Ah, so da truth comes out that Schwartzie & Katie never have sex?  Well, that is coming from Jax, so not a credible source, but still -- I believe it.  Schwartzie has gotta be constantly giving Jax & FI those dreamy I-wanna-sex-you looks for some reason.

 

So they're making a big deal cuz Lisa is on the cover of Frontiers?  WTF?  Oh, I kinda like Frontiers, but let's get a grip, Lisa, it's a sleazy rag given out free in gay bars.  And aren't there usually mostly naked guys  & drag queens on the cover?  Well, guess it's a way to promote PUMP.  But not exactly classy.  

 

So was Lisa presenting Stass with a great styling op?  Actually it is a way for her to network & get her shit out there.  But she's too fuckin' entitled & lazy to realize or appreciate it & seize the op being handed to her.  Idiot.

Edited December 2, 2014 by ScoobieDoobs

[meeeeech]

I would've punched Jax in his freshly operated nose. It is literally the only thing he cares about in life. Oh, and getting into Tom's (either one) pants. Geez. I am all for caring about friends and being concerned if he or she is in a bad relationship, but going to the trouble of aggressively calling the girl/boyfriend out? Nah. Then again, I'm sane and have a life, so my priorities may be a little different than ole Jax.

[fliptopbox]

Awwww at the bicycling outing. Anyone else catch Jax saying he was 34 and still on his parents' insurance policy? HAHAHAHA. How lame. The tape on his nose that he wore to work was pretty hilarious too. That line about protecting his nose?? FI Tom was right, he just wanted people to ask about it.

Edited December 2, 2014 by fliptopbox

[ExplainItAgain]

Schwartz is dumber than a box of rocks.

[SFoster21]

Here's a bulletin, Jax: your friends may complain about their SO, but you will lose if you insert yourself. They both turn on you. Stay out of it. Listen and nod, or cut him off. But you can't rearrange other peoples' lives. Doesn't work.

Stassi is too stupid to even make a connection with the photog. Yes, it was an opportunity. You want to break into a business like that, pay some dues. Audrey Hepburn and Vogue will NOT be calling you! But now you have a credit and can build a portfolio. Oh, right, you have no interest in working.

Edited December 2, 2014 by SFoster21

[Ubiquitous]

Haven't they done this "Your girlfriend's cheating on you! No, she's not!" storyline before?

[ExplainItAgain]

Haven't they done this "Your girlfriend's cheating on you! No, she's not!" storyline before?

 

Apparently season 1 was Stassi & Jax imploding. Season 2, Kristen & Tom. Season 3 means it's Katie & Schwartz's time.

 

Season 4...Scheana and Shay? Back to Tom & Ariana? Schwartz and Gordo?

[ScoobieDoobs]

Wow, if I hadn't thought Schwartz was a pussy before (and I sure as fuck did), now I think he's a super-pussy, watching Jax so viciously attack Kate & Schwartz doing absolutely nothing.  Yeah, I'm no fan of Katie, but sheesh, Jax was nasty as fuck.  He really humiliated her and Schwartzie pretty much didn't do a fuckin' thing to defend her or their relationship.  And it looked like she ended up forgiving him.  Er, huh?

 

So Jax says in a preview (shown on WWHL) he wants Schwartz to bang a chick in front of him.  Yeah, you're straight, Jax.

Edited December 2, 2014 by ScoobieDoobs

[lunastartron]

Lisa did, in fact, do Stassi a favor by extending her the opportunity for a styling credit, even if the job was unpaid and for a free community rag. Stassi is too much of a dumbass to realize this, but fashion editing is, if not widely unpaid, poorly waged to the point that it might as well be. Out of about 20 junior staffers at a magazine like Vogue, about 19 or so will boast a rich daddy, wealthy boyfriend, or both. And none of those girls, while often legitimately to the manor born, are stupid enough to show up on set in full makeup and an affluent belly dancer costume.

 

That being said, I'm not sure if Frontiers would be all that attention-grabbing a gig to include on one's resume, but considering that she's less than a year removed from slinging chicken wings and sneaking 40s in the back parking lot, she should have been kissing that photographer's ass and offering to buy him a drink after the shoot.

 

If she, like, read fashion blogs at all, you would think she would realize they can be very lucrative (some pull in over a mill per year) with proper formatting and marketing. Why didn't she spend her time in New York designing one so that she could name check it constantly on the show?

 

Tom probably doesn't want to rock the boat when it comes to the nice stint he might have set up living off of Katie's bill paying. Is it even legal to have a kid on your insurance after they turn 26?

[ihartcoffee]

I have never seen or heard of a women motor boating men's crotches. Who does that? I don't believe it.

[Chrissytd]

Wow, if I hadn't thought Schwartz was a pussy before (and I sure as fuck did), now I think he's a super-pussy, watching Jax so viciously attack Kate & Schwartz doing absolutely nothing.  Yeah, I'm no fan of Katie, but sheesh, Jax was nasty as fuck.  He really humiliated her and Schwartzie pretty much didn't do a fuckin' thing to defend her or their relationship.  And it looked like she ended up forgiving him.  Er, huh?

 

So Jax says in a preview (shown on WWHL) he wants Schwartz to bang a chick in front of him.  Yeah, you're straight, Jax.

I did the side-eye when he was talking about his plastic surgeon to Tom.

Apparently season 1 was Stassi & Jax imploding. Season 2, Kristen & Tom. Season 3 means it's Katie & Schwartz's time.

 

Season 4...Scheana and Shay? Back to Tom & Ariana? Schwartz and Gordo?

Tom and his flat iron?

[Ubiquitous]

I have never seen or heard of a women motor boating men's crotches. Who does that? I don't believe it.

I think these morons don't know the meaning of the term "motorboating", which is when a man shakes his head between a woman's breasts. I have no clue what they claim Katie did is called, maybe felatio foreplay?

 

ETA: Wonking double-posting.

Edited December 2, 2014 by Ubiquitous

[starrynola]

Re:the dog. "he's like a year old" "how old is he?" "omg he's a year old". SO EXCITING.

Lisa is skinnier (and more tan) than Stassi and what a great White Witch "giving" Stassi the job of being her personal assistant for "credit". Just like she asks her friend Muhammed to lend her some contractors on "credit" aka in exchange for funneling him prey...er...waitresses from SUR to conquest. However, leave it to spoiled Stassi to blunder another opportunity to network in the real world.

Sheaner when she did that head roll to Stassi ordering pinot grigio. Lawd have mercy, I died. Who is she? NeNe

FI Tom's Oliver Twist plaid vest is killing me. No seriously. In the words of Stassi "I wanted to stab myself". Could FI and Ariana have LESS chemistry?

Can someone please agree with me that Peter is the same pirate Countess LuAnn slept with on that trip? It's like the Bravo folks found him (also a bartender then, too) and were like "your days of sleeping with middle aged ex royalty are over. We think you'd be great as a manager on our new series. Pack your glass pipes and bead necklaces that you hock to sunbathers on the beach as a day job and come live the American Dream".

Cigarette Sally (or whatever the hilarious nickname ya'll penned) could not be more bitter. She says she's going to give Katie the WORST SUMMER OF HER LIFE. I don't recall the worst summer of my life. hmmmm...that's an interesting concept. Let me think...maybe this summer in college when my car broke down and I was forced to ride my bike in the hot Alabama heat to my job as a debt collection agent for Walmart and Home Depot. I spent my paychecks on Jagerbombs and Michelob Ultra just like these celebs do. Wow, I didn't realize it, but I was at the "top of my game" back then too. I didn't have the days free to go to roof top pool parties with other shift working wage slaves, but I had the weekends. And you can TRUST I spent them hungover and sneaking into the apartment complex by mine's pool. I was so tan back then SO TAN. TAN AND SKINNY

Edited to say: whoa that part during the commercial where Katie and British beau are washing the car and he brags about being better in bed than FI. Slaying it, Bravo. 4 thumbs up.

Edited December 2, 2014 by starrynola

[HunterHunted]

I have never seen or heard of a women motor boating men's crotches. Who does that? I don't believe it.

I would bet Jax does. That would be only thing that explains his outsized reaction to Katie possibly cheating. I imagine with Katie out of the way there's one more crotch that Jax will be motor boating.

Just when I thought Jax couldn't get any more lame, I find out that his father is paying Jax's car insurance.

Stassi continues to be a spoiled dumb snot. I bet she's the type of person who is envious of Lisa's life, but completely ignores the amount of work it takes to run three restaurants. Stassi just sees the dresses, jewels, and the afternoon lunches with glasses of wine.

[Ubiquitous]

Stassi continues to be a spoiled dumb snot. I bet she's the type of person who is envious of Lisa's life, but completely ignores the amount of work it takes to run three restaurants. Stassi just sees the dresses, jewels, and the afternoon lunches with glasses of wine.

Lisa Vanderbucks didn't miss noticing that Stassi spent more time playing "dress up" than helping her and dressing Gigi, or whatever that poor mutt's name is.  I can almost see the thought balloon saying "Please kill me!" over its head.

[starrynola]

I would bet Jax does. That would be only thing that explains his outsized reaction to Katie possibly cheating. I imagine with Katie out of the way there's one more crotch that Jax will be motor boating.

Just when I thought Jax couldn't get any more lame, I find out that his father is paying Jax's car insurance.

Stassi continues to be a spoiled dumb snot. I bet she's the type of person who is envious of Lisa's life, but completely ignores the amount of work it takes to run three restaurants. Stassi just sees the dresses, jewels, and the afternoon lunches with glasses of wine.

Cracking up at Jax being jealous of the motorboating.  The insurance thing is sooooooooo lame.  

[portfino]

The only explanation I have for Tom Schwartz's behavior is that he has independent sourcing that Katie "cheated" when she was drunk and maybe nuzzled a bit with a guy and no further. In fact, I suspect this came out between seasons and is being "re-enacted" now. Katie's reaction even reads to me as someone angry that her shit is being aired out rather than some wild, unfounded accusation.

 

Stassi's completely useless. She can take George Glass and watch the Food Network back in NYC. I don't care one bit whether this was a good opportunity or slave labor. 

 

WWHL was a waste, going over old stuff like the tattos and the nose job. The woman on with Jax whined "can't we talk about my show" and I wish Andy said, "no, we didn't even have time to ask Jax whether he's sleeping with his therapist."

[BogoGog24]

I couldn't help smirking when Jax and Tom were both like "We are the most heterosexual guys ever." I think if someone has to say something like "I am the strongest/smartest/prettiest/skinniest, etc. person ever," they're overcompensating for something they don't really have. 

 

Stassi actually seemed grateful to Lisa when she initially told her about the gig, but then at the actual shoot she was expecting Lisa to thank her. As a formality, yes, Lisa should thank Stassi for helping out (though it doesn't seem like she did very much) and for being there, but that doesn't mean Stassi shouldn't have kissed Lisa's ass 1000x more and thanked her for that opportunity. She complains about working for 12 hours unpaid… first off, she probably barely did a thing. She even admitted Lisa picked out all her own stuff. Second, she gets paid to be on the show. Third, cry me a river. I work at an internship at a TV and radio studio, go there 5 days a week for at least 3 hours or more a day, I spend an hour roundtrip to get there (I have to essentially get gas at the end of every week or so), and I don't get paid a dime to be there. But I do it for the experience and so I can put it on my resume and say I did all these things in order to get to the next step. Stassi clearly doesn't understand this phenomenon. She wants to be at the top without having to earn her way there. Yeah it sucks and is frustrating to have to start from nothing and start at the bottom but that is how it works, unfortunately. It makes you appreciate it more once you finally get somewhere.

[ScoobieDoobs]

I think these morons don't know the meaning of the term "motorboating", which is when a man shakes his head between a woman's breasts. I have no clue what they claim Katie did is called, maybe felatio foreplay?

 

 

Yup, dat's what I thought motorboating is.  Jax is supposedly straight & he don't know dat?  WTF??

 

Schemer seemed to be quite knowledgeable bout motorboating -- whatever the fuck they think it is.  Maybe something she shared with Eddie?

 

OK, so did Lisa pretty much ask Stassi if she'd come back to SUR & she said no?  I still wanna know how she's supporting herself.  Gay Daddy or Ghost Patrick or both?  She still doesn't seem to give a shit bout anything except making comments bout everyone else.  Thought I would luv her Pinot line, but it was really snotty.  Schemer looked like she wanted to smash her face.  Can't blame huh.

 

So Jax says he's 34, but Carmen said he's 35 & probably now he's at least 36.  His parents still paying his insurance?  Do any of his tats say "LOSER"?

Edited December 2, 2014 by ScoobieDoobs

[HunterHunted]

So Jax says he's 34, but Carmen said he's 35 & probably now he's at least 36. His parents still paying his insurance? Do any of his tats say "LOSER"?

There have been multiple mentions about summer. So I'm guessing the show films spring/summer because the PUMP opening was in May. Jax's birthday is in July. He probably was 34 when they started filming this season and turned 35 when they wrapped and started filming the talking heads. I'm 8 months older than Jax and I own a house, have a graduate degree, and pay for my own insurance. But I had time to acquire skills and become an adult during all the time that Jax was being a " successful " mactor.

[ScoobieDoobs]

Wait -- did Jax say to FI they're the most heterosexual guys ever, while he's admiring how good looking the doctor is?  OMG, I just fell off my chair.

 

Btw, is that doctor shitty or what?  Jax's nose doesn't look any different.

[ScoobieDoobs]

Noticed in the pool scene -- FI has bigger hooters than Schemer.  Just sayin'.

[Brooke0707]

Do we have any idea how much they get paid to be on the show? I'm guessing it's something, but I don't think it's much because of the shitholes they live in.

[Teddybear]

Who sprays a water gun directly on their friend's crotch???  Oh that's right; straight friends who in no way are trying to get a glimpse of their friend's dick.    

 

Funniest exchange:  

Kristen:  "Motorboating a dick is not a photoshoot."

Katie:  "OMG!  I was trying to take my shoes off."  

[Betweenyouandme]

I can tell the bump in Jax's nose is gone. He had a closed rhinoplasty. He was going for a natural look that improvedhis breathing and features. I think that was accomplished.

[Ubiquitous]

Wait -- did Jax say to FI they're the most heterosexual guys ever, while he's admiring how good looking the doctor is?  OMG, I just fell off my chair.

 

Btw, is that doctor shitty or what?  Jax's nose doesn't look any different.

That nose doctor looked like someone from Central Casting.

[Lablover27]

I think these morons don't know the meaning of the term "motorboating", which is when a man shakes his head between a woman's breasts. I have no clue what they claim Katie did is called, maybe felatio foreplay?

 

ETA: Wonking double-posting.

Thank you!  I thought I was getting too freaking old and probably sounded stupid to my husband, "Come here baby and...."  When all the time I was suppose to give head?  Tom2 just looked like he was pleading with the other 'co stars' to not go off script.  What does he call Katie?  Buggles?  Sounds like she should be called "juggles" as in balls.   

The only explanation I have for Tom Schwartz's behavior is that he has independent sourcing that Katie "cheated" when she was drunk and maybe nuzzled a bit with a guy and no further. In fact, I suspect this came out between seasons and is being "re-enacted" now. Katie's reaction even reads to me as someone angry that her shit is being aired out rather than some wild, unfounded accusation.

 

Stassi's completely useless. She can take George Glass and watch the Food Network back in NYC. I don't care one bit whether this was a good opportunity or slave labor. 

 

WWHL was a waste, going over old stuff like the tattos and the nose job. The woman on with Jax whined "can't we talk about my show" and I wish Andy said, "no, we didn't even have time to ask Jax whether he's sleeping with his therapist."

A GEORGE GLASS REFERENCE!  Bowing (no, not in the Katie way)..... cyber hand five!

[meeeeech]

Tom and Katie call each other "Bubba" for some reason, and yes I hate myself for knowing that.

[fliptopbox]

I can tell the bump in Jax's nose is gone. He had a closed rhinoplasty. He was going for a natural look that improvedhis breathing and features. I think that was accomplished.

Yeah. From what I have always been told the best type of cosmetic surgery is the non-obvious kind. The less you can tell something has been done the better it was done. I mean, don't people always trash women who get obvious facelifts and look too tight and pulled back? Jax is a skeevy dick and put way too much emphasis on his nose job cos he's an attention whore, but it was well done.

 

Side note, those stupid inner nose tubes hurt like a mofo to get out. And it actually hurts to breathe for a few hours afterward. Or anyway, it does when it's the middle of winter.

[ghoulina]

I think Stassi has now been to SUR more than she was during her entire career working there. How sad is it that you leave a place and act so above working there, but you just can't seem to stay away? 

 

I'm with Tom in that I see no difference between Jax's new nose and the old one. Sixty-something percent of WWHL viewers agreed with me. And Dr. Layke? That's a totally fake name, right? 

 

Jax and Tom are the most hetero people ever? Saying it doesn't make it true, hun. 

 

I'm so over these people and the offense taken if someone doesn't come by, call, text, etc. after every medical situation. Especially elective surgery! And Jax and Katie don't even LIKE each other! Why on earth would she call him to check in on him? What's next? Stassi gets a papercut unpacking boxes for her ghost boyfriend and is totally peeved that Katie didn't text to see how she was doing? 

 

Speaking of Katie....I had no idea you could motorboat a penis.This show is highly educational for me. At this point, we hear so many stories about these people cheating on each other I just don't even care anymore. But, for what it's worth, I don't think nuzzling some guy's crotch while you're wasted in a bar is quite the same as actually kissing or having sex with someone. It's crossing the line, for sure. But what about when the guys go to strip clubs (which we know they do) and girls nuzzle up against them? Jax just loves to stir the pot, it takes attention away from what a douchelord he is. But it's always weird to me that these accusations just pop up weeks, months after the fact. If you cared so much about your friend, wouldn't you say something right away? No....seems to me the lack of post schnoz-reducing text caused someone to act like a bitter little fourth grader. 

 

I am not a fan of Katie, by any means, but I'd be a bit peeved that Schwartz doesn't stand up for me if I were her. I know he's in an awkward position, but at the end of the day, who is he going home with? 

 

Even more disturbing....the two of them being responsible for a dog. Especially when Katie is the one who's working and gone most of the time. Schwartz can't even get through thirty minutes of a shift without breaking down....what's he going to do when the dog poops on the floor? Or chews up the leg of the couch? Or, God forbid, a chunky sweater???? I think we need to preemptively get the ASPCA in there. 

[ghoulina]

Tom and his flat iron?

 

You shut your mouth! That is utter blasphemy! 

 

Just when I thought Jax couldn't get any more lame, I find out that his father is paying Jax's car insurance.

 

He gave some convoluted answer on WWHL about how he got in trouble and was dropped from his insurance, so that's why Daddy has to take care of him. Andy kept ribbing him about it all night, saying his dad paid for the nose surgery and everything. So embarrassing. I haven't had help from my parents since I moved back home for a year at age 21. I'm now 34, the age Jax is supposed to be, and I'm married 6 years with three kids and we own our home outright. I pay all of our bills every month with no problem, have been for over a decade. How can you be this old and not be responsible enough to take care of your freaking car insurance? This is something you'd expect from some young-twenty-somethings....but a dude in his mid-thirties? Again, embarrassing. 

 

Ah, so da truth comes out that Schwartzie & Katie never have sex?  Well, that is coming from Jax, so not a credible source, but still -- I believe it.  Schwartzie has gotta be constantly giving Jax & FI those dreamy I-wanna-sex-you looks for some reason.

 

Yea, I remember that scene of The Two Toms in the gym, where Schwartz was asking a bunch of questions about FI's sex life with Golden Nugget, and looking all wistful about it. I couldn't tell if he was envious simply because they were (ostensibly) having a lot of sex, or because he'd like to specifically be having sex with FI himself, but either way....a guy with a fulfilled sex life doesn't look like that. 

[mjstrick]

On one hand, I admired Schwartz for not letting Jax and FI suck him (heh) into the whole thing about Katie cheating and what she supposedly he did.  He did shut that part down (or at least tried, although Jax wouldn't STF up about it), saying they had talked about it, he chooses what he believes about it, and about her.  Period.  On the other hand, I can't believe he let his friends talk to her that way.  I'd be done for that alone if I was her.

 

Car insurance-gate:  my daughter is in her early 20's, getting married in 18 days and starting January 1, she is off my cell plan and car insurance.  I didn't even have to tell her that.  She and her husband-to-be did what responsible adults do-they researched and found plans for themselves within their budget.  Shocking concept.

[fliptopbox]

I would think if Jax can afford a nose job he could afford car insurance. Even if he was dropped by one company I am sure he'd be able to find another one that would take him. What a loser.

[demarti]

I don't believe for one minute that Jax paid for his nose job. I'm sure BRAVO did it for a storyline because Jax has no storyline without it, I don't care how much it's denied.  I actually think it looks good. You have to be careful when doing a nose job on a man, it can easily look too feminine if the doc doesn't know what he is doing.

 

Best part of this stupid filler episode was the puppy. Love that perfect mellow puppy. They better treat it right. I don't even trust those idiots to remember to feed it.

[chlban]

I cannot believe how much I love this train wreck. I think all those years of watching the Real Housewives has truly fried my brain.  Am I the only one that choked when Schwartz said that the way Jax was going on and on about his relationship with Katie, it seemed "almost" like a jealous lover would react? Uh, yeah, Because if he isn't a jealous lover he sure wants to be.  

 

There are really no words for how horrid Jax is. Butting into his friends relationship (always a kiss of death to a friendship....well at least among normal humans). Still being on his parents insurance at 34 and actually telling someone outside the family? But the way he spoke to Katie was too much. I don't like Katie any more or less than the rest of the women on this show, but that was horrid and her "Boyfriend" sitting there allowing it and then STAYING with the creep calling her out while she leaves? Really, no words. Katie obviously has zero self esteem.

 

Stassi is an entitled bitch and should really go. She adds nothing. There are plenty of other whiners, ,we don't need her and her imaginary boyfriend.

 

As for the poor dog. I have currently and have had several rescued dogs.Granted some rescues are stricter than others, but even the most laid back require you to fill out an apploication. I don't know of a single reputable rescue group that will adopt to a couple or a family until every member of the family has met the dog. Because dogs acquired as "gifts" are often those later abandoned.  I call BS on the dog story line. I just don't believe it. Heather on RHOOC caught endless hell for buying puppies instead of rescuing, so I think BRAVO wanted to avoid that and this whole storyline was set up. Tom "rescues" a dog and surprises Katie. Bullshit.

 

OTOH, if I am wrong and it's real, shame on the rescue group. Those two idiots should not be allowed to adopt a goldfish. All anyone had to do was sit through a few episodes of this train wreck (because you must have noticed those camera's) and know better.  

Edited December 2, 2014 by chlban

[psychoticstate]

I don't believe for one minute that Jax paid for his nose job. I'm sure BRAVO did it for a storyline because Jax has no storyline without it, I don't care how much it's denied.  I actually think it looks good. You have to be careful when doing a nose job on a man, it can easily look too feminine if the doc doesn't know what he is doing.

 

 

Agreed.  I don't think Jax paid for anything either and I do agree that it looks good specifically because it doesn't look as though he's had any work done (although clearly he did). 

 

Because Jax can pay for tattoos every time he catches scent of a new ho, he can pay for his own damn auto insurance.  I realize chunky sweaters ain't cheap but maybe Jax needs to sweet talk FI into buying him a few.

 

When did Jax and Cigarette Sally become besties?  Just weird. 

 

No Muppet Busboy to speak of? 

 

FI and Golden Nugget have the chemistry of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes.  Didn't buy them, not buying these two.

 

I did enjoy how quickly that Dr. Laykes or whatever his name is got the hell out of that exam room.  Sure, Jax and FI - -you are the most hereto guys who ever heteroed.  That's why you're noticing how attractive the doctor is.  Uh-huh. 

 

I think I liked Schwartzie so much more when he was barely on screen.  And Motorboarding Tequila Katie is so much more entertaining when she's judiciously imbibing in her tequila.  I do have to laugh in embarrassment that MT Katie wants to marry Schwartzie so badly and he's clearly not interested.  Guy can't even hold down a fairly low stress job for more than your average lunch break and she thinks he's going to be able to go through with getting married?  Girl, please.  Gordo is cute and super chill.  Please keep him away from those pans of brownies.

 

StASSi is absolutely pointless.  She's entited and she's a dumbfuck if she doesn't try to make something out of the connections she's getting thanks to this show and Lisa.  The magazine may not be much but I imagine as with most industries, the fashion industry is relatively small.  Get in good with the photographer and anyone else working on that shoot and network for more (and paying) jobs.

 

Whoever said that StASSi is at Sur more now than she ever was as an employee is spot on.  She may as well go back to work there since apparently she can't hang out anywhere else or with anyone other than Vanderpump employees. 

[goofygirl]

Whoever said upthread "Lather,Rinse, Repeat" about this dumb storyline of who's boinking who's boyfriend/girlfriend was right on target.  LOL that next season it'll be FI Tom and his flat iron breaking up or cheating on one another!

stASSi can just go ahead and get off my teevee NOW.  She's sucking the air out of any scene she's in. Ugh, just ugh.

And Jax still on Daddy's insurance at 34? Just amazeballs. How does he manage to pay his rent or have his nose repaired??

Edited December 2, 2014 by goofygirl

[JenE4]

So Schwartz was only bumped up to cast member because he's part of this season's "are they or aren't they cheating and will everyone's wish come true and they'll break up" storyline? Well, based on every other season of this show, we can assume that the anwers are yes and yes. One would think that after THREE seasons of the same damn storylines--just new players--that we would grow old of this. But, nope, I'm still good! However, I'll need to draw the line if season 4 is Scheana and Shay's possible break up leading to the alter. I might be interested in FI Tom and Ariana's breakup, but not Kristin and the busboy. Stassi and the DJ wouldn't be good since he wouldn't even be on the show and she'd just be fighting with herself. What about the Van Der Pumps? Aren't they going through a divorce? Thought I heard that, but maybe it was just a rumor. Eh, I wouldn't watch that show, either. Schwartz and Katie better make this good!

 

As for Motorboat-gate, I could see this going either way. Since that's just not a thing that people do, she would have had to be REALLY drunk to do that, so I can see her 1) not remembering and 2) Schwartz not caring because either a) he knows this is something she MIGHT have done when Tequilla Katie comes out and he realizes that she doesn't even know that she did this or b) he has a guilty conscience because he cheated, too, so he's giving her a pass so she won't pry about any "rumors" about him...or, I suppose c) we have enough episodes left that it's not time yet for this storyline to come to a head. However, I also tend to take Katie at her word that she was taking off her shoes. If he was up on a bar and she was standing below him, it would make sense that she's stumbling back and forth taking off her shoes and from across the room it looked like her face was "right there" even if she was a foot or so away.

 

I didn't see any change in Jax's nose. However on WWHL, now that it's many months later and it's all settled in place, it did look different--and better, yet not fake-looking.

[Ubiquitous]

No Muppet Busboy to speak of? 

I'm not sure which made me more nauseous: Homer Simpson and Peter Griffin washing a car together or DJ Muppet Busboy and Kristen washing what did not appear to be a BMW.

 

Speaking of whom, Kristen looked extra greasy and malodorous this week. it must make taking orders from her customers easier.

[ghoulina]

Whoever said that StASSi is at Sur more now than she ever was as an employee is spot on.  She may as well go back to work there since apparently she can't hang out anywhere else or with anyone other than Vanderpump employees.

 

Yea, that was me...and I really think she likes hanging around there because it's comfortable for her. She was the queen bee and the rest were either her little minions, or the rejects outside of her mean girl circle. If she really did try to go legitimately make it in the fashion world, she'd be a little fish on the bottom of the totem poll and her insecure ass wouldn't be able to deal with that. 

[OnceSane]

I'm not sure which made me more nauseous: Homer Simpson and Peter Griffin washing a car together or DJ Muppet Busboy and Kristen washing what did not appear to be a BMW.

Definitely Kristen and DJ Muppet. Homer's ass looked fantastic in those Daisy Dukes.

[Chrissytd]

Re: Jax paying for his nose job. Insurance can cover to fix a deviated septum as long as he can prove that it is causing him to have breathing issues. If the surgery was cosmetic such as straightening a crooked nose or removing a bump, insurance won't cover it.

Edited December 2, 2014 by Chrissytd

[LoLo]

Jax behaved like a little jealous brat. I can't believe Tom 2 sat & let him go at Katie that way. If I was Katie, that would be huge sign to me that he is not about me if he let that happened. 

 

These guys who are in their late 20's early 30's are so sad. What do they have to offer? Jax lives in an efficiency with a bike hanging over his bed, has his father pay for his insurance, tattoos not 1 but 2 girls names on him arms in less than a year. He's an all around sweaty douche.

 

Stassi...she is such a brat. She acted like Lisa owed her something. What exactly did she do for Lisa other than bringing the clothes & jewelry? Lisa picked out the clothes, jewelry & even what Giggy would wear. She was basically giving Stassi a huge opportunity & Stassi is so self centered she could not see that. I bet there are tons of up & coming stylist that would have jumped to do that shoot just to get that on their resume & make connections. Nope, Stassi was trying on all of Lisa's things, not very professional. 

[TattleTeeny]

So Jax says in a preview (shown on WWHL) he wants Schwartz to bang a chick in front of him.  Yeah, you're straight, Jax.

 

I think he said that he wants Tom to bang a chick in front of Katie.

[ScoobieDoobs]

I think he said that he wants Tom to bang a chick in front of Katie

 

 

Sooooo not likely to happen.

 

Whoever said that StASSi is at Sur more now than she ever was as an employee is spot on

 

 

So why is Stass hangin' out in the former place she worked?  Seems loserish to me.  It's not like she likes any of 'em so much.  In fact, she hates most of 'em.  And it's not like she can rub her success in their faces.  Er, cuz she's achieved nothing except having a ghost boyfriend & doing absolutely zippo with her life.  Real impressive, Stass.

 

I didn't see any change in Jax's nose. However on WWHL, now that it's many months later and it's all settled in place, it did look different--and better, yet not fake-looking.

 

 

Jax is such a greasy smug repulsive loser to me, I just can't comment whether his nose makes him look better as a whole -- cuz I'm seeing no difference before the nose job or after -- as far as making him attractive.  That would not be possible (to me) with a very slight alteration of his nose.  Bur at least his fame-whore reality-TV doctor didn't fuck him up.  That is saying something, I suppose.

 

Speaking of Katie....I had no idea you could motorboat a penis.This show is highly educational for me.

 

 

It really is.  I heart this show.  Thank you, show -- for teaching us new things to do with a penis!

 

As for Motorboat-gate

 

 

Ah, so we now have a Motorboat-gate, eh?  Well dat's infinitely more fun than Ghost-gate or whatever that stupid boring shit I didn't give a fuck about on NY Housewives was called. 

 

Look, Tequila Katie/Motorboat Katie is a drunk.  And a really sloppy drunk.  And she ain't gettin' nothin' from Schwartzie.  I could see her gettin' cozy with some random dude when she's wasted & having no memory of it.  And I could see Schwartzie not caring one bit.  Maybe he actually thought that was alrighty with him, so he doesn't have to satisfy her, which would probably make him go, "ew" anyway. 

 

At least when she was Orange Katie, he had an excuse for not bangin' her.  Cuz, well, that orange shit was such boner-kill, who'd wanna bang her?  Er, what's his excuse now?  Um, panic attacks?  Guess he'll use the doggie now as an excuse not to bang her.

 

Re: Jax paying for his nose job.

 

 

When Satan Andy asked him on WWHL if he paid for the nose job himself, he stumbled for an answer for what seemed like 10 minutes.  Fuckin' moron.  I'd say Bravo paid for the whole thing for a storyline.

 

Stassi is an entitled bitch and should really go. She adds nothing. There are plenty of other whiners, ,we don't need her and her imaginary boyfriend.

 

 

See now, I still want her around.  And if Andy throws enough cash at her, I'm sure she will stick close by.  It's just they gotta come up with a plausible (& hopefully fun) storyline for her to be there.  Ariana, otoh, I could care less bout.  FI could find another beard & I wouldn't miss her one bit.

Edited December 2, 2014 by ScoobieDoobs

[TattleTeeny]

While I just can't get my head around "dat" and "cuz" stuff, I think I agree with you on your assessment of these people for the most part, especially Stassi. I just...don't mind her, especially in comparison to everyone else. 

[ScoobieDoobs]

What gets me bout Stass is the way she judges everyone else on their morals.  Um, who in the fuckety fuck put her in charge of judging these chucklefucks on their er, morals -- or rather, lack of any?  That's our job, thank you.

 

And anyone else notice how Schemer seems sooooo "judge-y" also?  It's like her time as Eddie's skank has been completely erased from her memory -- and she seems to assume it has been erased from everyone else's memory,  Except sorry, Schemer, hun, it hasn't.

Edited December 2, 2014 by ScoobieDoobs