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Small Talk: The Prayer Closet

Honeycocoa

By Honeycocoa
in Counting On

Scarlett45
Message added by Scarlett45

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I understand with recent current events there may be a desire to discuss political social media posts of those in the Duggar realm- this is not the place for those discussions. If you believe someone has violated forum rules, report them, do not respond or engage.

Political discussion is not allowed in this forum- this includes Small Talk topics. Please stay in the spirit of the policy- I have noticed a tendency for some to follow the letter but not the spirit.

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While we understand the frustration (change is never easy), please keep in mind that not everyone feels the same way and that for those members who don't, the ongoing conversation about other forums and chat options can equally be a cause of frustration.

Out of respect for your fellow posters, we kindly ask that you continue any discussion about alternatives via PM or the Technically Speaking: Bugs, Questions, & Suggestions area.

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Arwen Evenstar

Arwen Evenstar

HFC, so happy for you that your daughter is home. I'm about 2 weeks behind on this page.

A personal update from me.  I'm 4 weeks out from my EVLT procedure. There was plenty of immediate improvement, but apparently, I'll be feeling some numbness and weird sensations  in my inside upper thigh area for likely another few weeks.

Found myself feeling better using the compression hose for when I know I'll be standing or exercising.  No more itchy rash on my leg, my skin isn't so dry, less swelling and discomfort.  My right leg felt like lead, but now it feels so much lighter. The other cool thing I noticed is that I'm no longer needing to pee all the time like a nervous little dog.  Just have a feeling of better well being now, like doing the things I need to do and want to do are no longer a chore. I can also kneel and squat without pain now, which I was no longer able to do without pain in my right knee. Just need to get the weight loss going now that I can move about better. That will be the best help for my legs in the future.

It really feels good to know I can finally start to enjoy a normal life.

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frenchtoast
frenchtoast

As a former mod (and one that had no input about the changes, I left years ago) the main overall theme/rule/guideline was posters should speak to and about each other with respect/kindness etc. Poster

Churchhoney
Churchhoney

Hi, guys. Just want to let everybody know that I'm simply rude enough to leave for months without saying why -- but that I'm in good health. I didn't actually intend to vanish when I did. But I got ex

lookeyloo
lookeyloo

Hello everyone.  I try and keep up with my Small Talk friends - I am not doing a good job.  Yesterday was 4 weeks.  Tomorrow is the Virtual Memorial and Life Celebration son in law has been working on

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Love2dance

Love2dance

20 minutes ago, Arwen Evenstar said:

A personal update from me.  I'm 4 weeks out from my EVLT procedure. There was plenty of immediate improvement, but apparently, I'll be feeling some numbness and weird sensations  in my inside upper thigh area for likely another few weeks...."

It really feels good to know I can finally start to enjoy a normal life.

What great news, ARWEN EVANSTAR. Hope you continue to feel better and better!

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Happyfatchick

Happyfatchick

@Jellybeans, I know, right???  dangit, we've been fat, dumb and happy in out little corner (all 50 or so of us) of this county forever and 3 days.  Now my chicks are scooting out of the nest.  What the heck???   Also, I hate house training a dog, but I sure do love puppies.  I'm a little jealous.  Does little Jelly have a name?

@emma675, right now she's at her late grandmother's (empty) house, all alone.  She wanted a week or so to process and prepare for the immediate future.  [Picture this - that girl is beautiful on a slow day, she really is stunning - and I sent her to her grandmas in our fire red jeep with the doors off and the top back.  She didn't want ANY communication; she wants to "clear her head".  But she texted me late yesterday saying she's having a blast with the jeep, that it's hot(!) and that a guy tried to pick her up yesterday.  That red jeep is a statement and may have been the most accidentally brilliant plan I ever had!]

@Arwen Evenstar: YAY!!!!!

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Jellybeans

Jellybeans

HFC, a red jeep rocks!  I have a jeep but it is not red. I wish it was. I am so happy about your daughter, I know it has been a real concern for you.

Believe it or not my puppy arrived housebroken. I know?  He is a daschund and they are famous for being difficult to housebreak. But not Mr. Bates.  That is his name.  He is a mellow fellow.  Lucky me, puppies drive me nuts and he arrived in a puppy body with a grown-up mind. 

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Happyfatchick

Happyfatchick

Welp.  I guess the party is on hold for right now - the SIL (Wandering Dingdong) showed his a$$ last night.  I probably don't get to see my grands anymore until there are court papers on the table.  And that's ok (I mean...I CRIED), but I slept good (amazingly), and the sun came up this morning.  I don't think he's smarter than me, but he's definitely meaner than me on the fly.  I do have some patience.  I am wiser and I have the money to fight this - and he does not.   I'm not mean, I'm fair.  I raised 2 boys, one ADD, one ADHD.  I've had a little practice getting ahead of the ball.  Turns out, there are people you shouldn't pick on (especially if you're an a$$, and a poor one to boot), and I'm one of them.

i keep saying we're going to be a feature on 20/20 someday.  I really hope this is not true.

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zoomama

zoomama

hi all. sounds like lots of good news and some stressful news.  i hope, HFC, that you can be strong for your daughter so she won't cave and go back to him. she will need your backbone!

doing well here --  a little shaky due to 2 cups of real coffee. those kinds of mornings are hard. i can't type well as my hands shake when i drink more than one cup of real. (i spell check before posting or you would never be able to read what i typed).

my pink hair is fading too fast. gonna call the girl and tell her i dont like the new product. too much money for it to be all washed out already.

time to get busy around here. have a lovely day, my friends.

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Love2dance

Love2dance

4 hours ago, Happyfatchick said:

Welp.  I guess the party is on hold for right now - the SIL (Wandering Dingdong) showed his a$$ last night.  I probably don't get to see my grands anymore until there are court papers on the table.  And that's ok (I mean...I CRIED), but I slept good (amazingly), and the sun came up this morning.  I don't think he's smarter than me, but he's definitely meaner than me on the fly.  I do have some patience.  I am wiser and I have the money to fight this - and he does not.   I'm not mean, I'm fair.  I raised 2 boys, one ADD, one ADHD.  I've had a little practice getting ahead of the ball.  Turns out, there are people you shouldn't pick on (especially if you're an a$$, and a poor one to boot), and I'm one of them.

i keep saying we're going to be a feature on 20/20 someday.  I really hope this is not true.

Sheesh.  I guess it sounded too easy. I'm surprised he can stop you from seeing the grandkids if your daughter says you can. Hope the court gives the right verdict and this ends soon. You are amazingly strong. I could learn from you. Hugs.

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Love2dance

Love2dance

50 minutes ago, zoomama said:

hi all. sounds like lots of good news and some stressful news.  i hope, HFC, that you can be strong for your daughter so she won't cave and go back to him. she will need your backbone!

doing well here --  a little shaky due to 2 cups of real coffee. those kinds of mornings are hard. i can't type well as my hands shake when i drink more than one cup of real. (i spell check before posting or you would never be able to read what i typed).

my pink hair is fading too fast. gonna call the girl and tell her i dont like the new product. too much money for it to be all washed out already.

time to get busy around here. have a lovely day, my friends.

Hang in there, ZOOMAMA. We mix half regular and half decaf together so we can enjoy more coffee. Maybe that would work for you, too.

Sorry about the pink hair fade....she should give you a touch-up. ?

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Rabbittron

Rabbittron

Let me tell you a funny story about abuse. Now abuse isn't funny but what I did to my ex was. I was holding my week old daughter and he threw us to the floor and I landed on top of her. I got her to her crib and then started throwing his things out the window. I had a paper route at the time and one of my customers was the county sheriff I  stopped long enough to look up his number and called him saying if you don't get him out the house right now I am going to kill him. I hung up the phone continued throwing his stuff out the window and then I heard sirens. The sheriff and 10 deputies came to make sure he left the house alive.

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Happyfatchick

Happyfatchick

(edited)

I think some unlimited distance would be a good thing, crazycatlady.  She stayed in Alabama, I thought she'd come home last night to mediate, but she didn't.  She says she's not strong enough to fight all of us right now.  He, on the other hand, has lost everything.  He's apparently lost his wife, his home, his livelihood, his "ministry", his identity, probably his transportation (because she needs a car for work, and he has no job), his friends, his board members.  Everything including his parents who are not all team Josh as they have been his whole (only child) life.  Hes free falling, basically, with no net.  (His enemies are having a ball!!!).  So the only thing he has any control over currently are their children.  That's it.  That's what he has.  And that's what he'll use as leverage against us (and her, in all likelihood).  

As much as I'd really love to see her break away from psychobabe on a permanent basis, I have my doubts.  I don't think she can do it.  He has some secret magnetic hold over her.  She'll go back.  If he drops the mistress, she'll take him back.  And she'll start covering for him all the way until he does his next amazing catastrophic life altering craziness.  A small part of me admires her stamina and her determination to hold onto that scrap of him that is exciting and who loves her.  The bulk of me (which is considerable) wants her to wake up and shake it off. I've often told her that I've NEVER loved a man with that kind of dedication.  I've never loved a man enough to come off as pathetic if it all fell apart.  I guess I always hold something back and never completely relax into them.  I don't think I have trust issues, but maybe.  I know I could have walked away from this train wreck years ago.  Many years.  

It's insanity, but instill have a good story.  I have to tell it backwards starting at the conclusion and go backwards. 

3)  Tonight, I was on the phone with my DIL, and we were dissecting (as always) the family train wreck piece by piece.  On the table in front of me are stacks and stacks of coins that I plan to pack into rolls and give my son to help with this sudden move to Raleigh.  My husband walks in and stares for a minute.  He tries to get my attention until I snap at him "i'M ON THE PHONE!!!"  [i thought this was the regular chromosome manifestation that all the males in my life exhibit.  NOTHING will stop ANY of them from needing to tell me something when in on the phone.  WHAT IS THAT?????]. He looks a little confused, but sheepishly walks away.

2). Earlier today, I confessed that I have a half gallon of buttermilk in the fridge and I don't know why.  I went to the store, and buttermilk was top of the list.  I needed that buttermilk.  I checked dates, bought the smallest container I could find, but by George, I came home with my buttermilk!  Only to realize, once it's on the counter, I've COMPLETELY forgotten what the buttermilk was for.  And I said to him, "I'm afraid I'm getting Alzheimer's!!!  I don't know why I bought this buttermilk!!!"

1)  one of the very best ways we had to entertain Mama (who most assuredly did have Alzheimer's) was to unload a big basket of coins and ask her to roll them in coin papers for us.  Everyone who was a care giver knew that trick.  (I used to get her to refold the same laundry 10 times too).  

So my husband (who knows about the coin rolling trick) hears me lamenting "I think I have Alzheimer's!!!" Only to catch me later in the same day rolling coins.  Hahaha!!!  So if he sticks suspicious papers under my nose (the kind with a light blue back brought over and stapled on the front at the top) and says "sign here", I should read them carefully, right?  Maybe we'll share a glass of buttermilk while I read over them...

Edited by Happyfatchick
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crazycatlady58

crazycatlady58

Buttermilk biscuits  perhaps ?   Or chocolate  cake? Or maybe you wanted cornbread  and milk? I hope one day  VERY soon she sees what his crazyness is doing to the kids maybe then she will wake up. I think  it would  be  good  for Mr high lord Dingdong to be along to think about how he got himself  in the place where he has nothing .  But sounds  like  that will not  happen . 

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RainbowBrite

RainbowBrite

(edited)

Happyfatchick, I am coming out of my usual lurkdom to say that I was in a very codependent relationship from the age of 15 to 23. There was abuse in the last couple of years as well. There came a moment that I left him, stayed with family and got perspective. I came out of a serious haze and never went back. To this day, looking back, I cannot understand why I stayed. Hopefully this is your daughter's similar moment of clarity.

Edited by RainbowBrite
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emma675

emma675

It went well, I think (I can never tell with these things). I woke up at 3am in a panic because I dreamed I had slept through the interview and oddly enough this morning, I got caught behind an accident and was almost late! But I met with 5 people over 4 hours and it flew by. I hate interviewing, though, I hate talking about myself. We'll see how it goes.

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Happyfatchick

Happyfatchick

Interviews suck.  They SUUUUUCK.  In real life, before I started working with my husband until he was launched and then chose to work from home instead of going back, I was in HR in several big companies.  Not factories, but factory settings  (distribution mostly).  Tons of entry level employees.  Sometimes, coming into "crunch" time, I would interview 15-20 people in a DAY.  Mind numbing.  4 hours worth had to be just enough, already!!!

emma, I can't wait to hear you got the job!!!  You GO girl!!!  

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kokapetl

kokapetl

17 hours ago, emma675 said:

It went well, I think (I can never tell with these things). I woke up at 3am in a panic because I dreamed I had slept through the interview and oddly enough this morning, I got caught behind an accident and was almost late! But I met with 5 people over 4 hours and it flew by. I hate interviewing, though, I hate talking about myself. We'll see how it goes.

Is this job with the CIA? These interviews sound like torture. 

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CherryMalotte

CherryMalotte

I sure hope you get offered the job Emma675.  To put you into that much of an interview process means they must think highly of you.  

Have been busy, or at least too scatterbrained and tired to post coherently.  I will be glad to get that fall cool down, and I do mean cool down, not snow on Halloween drastic weather change.  The humidity this summer was just unbearable.  Running my male DNA donor here there and everywhere in the swelter really took a lot out of me.  Have to give credit though, a couple other people have stepped up and have taken him to his visits at the VA Hospital, and really they are doing me the favor, just as much as him, and I appreciate it to no end.  Week after this he is going to be starting his radiation treatment, and they will be able to see him for afternoon appointments which suit me but it is still five days a week for eight weeks.  I'm not looking forward to it but it needs to be done.  I'm just glad he was able to get a referral closer to where we live.  He's still his usual unbearable self, that will never change.  I tried to get a title copy for an old work vehicle of his but since the DMV has no record of it (since it hasn't had fresh plates or registration in over ten years) I will either have to find some sort of proof of ownership (which I will never find, I guarantee you) or I will have to have the vehicle bonded, which is a pain in the ass.  

Looking forward to Halloween and all the haunts that open up - I'm going to be spending some quality time getting scared this year!

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magpye29

magpye29

I've been trying not to feel sorry for myself.  My daughter has a habit of not answering my texts and then being mad at me when I get upset about it.  The thing is, she checks her phone all the time, so if two days go by and she hasn't answered, I know she's ignoring me.  I've told her how much this hurts my feelings, but she just keeps doing it.  This last time, we were in a conversation when she dropped it and didn't answer for two days.  Then she berated me for being too sensitive and asked me why I didn't just text her again to ask her what was up.  Why, because it worked so well when we were making plans to go for dinner?  I'm not talking a few minutes here, I'm talking two days.  She says it's stupid to feel so hurt over nothing, but it isn't nothing to me.  Since her father dumped me, I hardly ever see her unless I'm cooking or buying dinner for her and her boyfriend.  If we go to the movies, she buys my ticket ($5) and I buy popcorn and cokes for the three of us ($22).  I just feel kind of used and ignored, and I got so upset I had to leave work because I couldn't stop crying.  She gave me hell for that.  My in-laws have nothing to do with me, and I feel like I lost half my family.  I've been trying to create a new life for myself, but it isn't easy.  I hate feeling so pathetic and pitiful.

On the other hand, here's a weird little story.  My almost 17-year-old dog had to be put to sleep last month.  It was a huge blow, but she had a good long life and was much loved.  So after she died, I was getting rid of her belongings, and I decided to donate her food to the vet clinic where she received her care, because they also have a shelter.  So I bring the food over, and the lady at the counter tells me to go next door to the shelter.  The lady at the shelter was on the phone, so I was amusing myself looking at the various things on the wall, when I noticed two photographs.  I said to the woman, "Lizzie and Emma Borden?  Really?!"  She proceeds to explain that Lizzie and Emma left $30,000 in stocks to the shelter when they died, and the shelter still collects about $7000 a year from those bequests.  I thought that was kind of cool.

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Micks Picks

Micks Picks

That really is way cool!!!  I'm impressed and very pleased.   Sorry about the family relationships, I've got my own.  One living relative and she's a bitch.  No 2 ways about it, and deliberately nasty and looks for stuff to bitch at me about.  I'm not telling examples, not now, but she is horrid.  I'd be so happy if I didn't have to talk to her ever again.

I'm losing my sight.  Not good.  So I'm rarely on computer because I have to low up font size like crazy and still see only half the letters and none of the numbers, which makes on line banking suck.  Can't read the mail either.  I've been hoping it would get better but despite shots every month, it isn't.  I hope to find a human subjects research study and be in it.  Am hoping to goo to ann institute for low sighted people where they may have assistive devices.  I can still make out the tv, but not the channel guide, dammit.  And my dog is great and everybody loves him.  He has all kinds of dog fiends both in the neighborhood and at the dog park.  He is a beauty, blue merle Aussie with striking colors and blue eyes.  But the best thing is the personality.  I'm lucky.

Wish we lived close, Mag, we''d do stuff together, even the movies.  If I can get in before the lights go out I'm good.  Or such would be great.

Oh also if there are typos, sorry I can't see what I type.

  • Love 11
Love2dance

Love2dance

(edited)
57 minutes ago, magpye29 said:

 

57 minutes ago, magpye29 said:

I've been trying not to feel sorry for myself.  My daughter has a habit of not answering my texts and then being mad at me when I get upset about it.  The thing is, she checks her phone all the time, so if two days go by and she hasn't answered, I know she's ignoring me.  I've told her how much this hurts my feelings, but she just keeps doing it.  This last time, we were in a conversation when she dropped it and didn't answer for two days.  Then she berated me for being too sensitive and asked me why I didn't just text her again to ask her what was up.  Why, because it worked so well when we were making plans to go for dinner?  I'm not talking a few minutes here, I'm talking two days.  She says it's stupid to feel so hurt over nothing, but it isn't nothing to me.  Since her father dumped me, I hardly ever see her unless I'm cooking or buying dinner for her and her boyfriend.  If we go to the movies, she buys my ticket ($5) and I buy popcorn and cokes for the three of us ($22).  I just feel kind of used and ignored, and I got so upset I had to leave work because I couldn't stop crying.  She gave me hell for that.  My in-laws have nothing to do with me, and I feel like I lost half my family.  I've been trying to create a new life for myself, but it isn't easy.  I hate feeling so pathetic and pitiful.

On the other hand, here's a weird little story.  My almost 17-year-old dog had to be put to sleep last month.  It was a huge blow, but she had a good long life and was much loved.  So after she died, I was getting rid of her belongings, and I decided to donate her food to the vet clinic where she received her care, because they also have a shelter.  So I bring the food over, and the lady at the counter tells me to go next door to the shelter.  The lady at the shelter was on the phone, so I was amusing myself looking at the various things on the wall, when I noticed two photographs.  I said to the woman, "Lizzie and Emma Borden?  Really?!"  She proceeds to explain that Lizzie and Emma left $30,000 in stocks to the shelter when they died, and the shelter still collects about $7000 a year from those bequests.  I thought that was kind of cool.

 

 

Magpie, many, many hugs to you. I, and many of my friends, have been through similar, and it does hurt to lose half your family. It was my ex who left for the "young thing," but his family (who had basically been MY family since high school) pretty much dropped me too. This story seems to repeat and repeat. So sad. As for your daughter, sounds like she is pulling your chain. Even if you are upset, it may be a good idea not to let her know. Kids/young adults often get weird during this transition. It's hard for them to know how to act and where their loyalties are. My young adult daughter got really strange for awhile, but came around eventually. Try to keep busy with fun stuff away from work, try new adventures, join a club, gym or group if you have time. I think I have shared this before, but I came out much better and happier, and I hope so much that you will, too.

 So sorry about your pup. But what a wonderful life he had....wow 17 years. When you are up to it, maybe a new fur baby will be comforting.        More hugs.

Edited by Love2dance
weird double quote.
  • Love 4
Love2dance

Love2dance

9 minutes ago, Micks Picks said:

That really is way cool!!!  I'm impressed and very pleased.   Sorry about the family relationships, I've got my own.  One living relative and she's a bitch.  No 2 ways about it, and deliberately nasty and looks for stuff to bitch at me about.  I'm not telling examples, not now, but she is horrid.  I'd be so happy if I didn't have to talk to her ever again.

I'm losing my sight.  Not good.  So I'm rarely on computer because I have to low up font size like crazy and still see only half the letters and none of the numbers, which makes on line banking suck.  Can't read the mail either.  I've been hoping it would get better but despite shots every month, it isn't.  I hope to find a human subjects research study and be in it.  Am hoping to goo to ann institute for low sighted people where they may have assistive devices.  I can still make out the tv, but not the channel guide, dammit.  And my dog is great and everybody loves him.  He has all kinds of dog fiends both in the neighborhood and at the dog park.  He is a beauty, blue merle Aussie with striking colors and blue eyes.  But the best thing is the personality.  I'm lucky.

Wish we lived close, Mag, we''d do stuff together, even the movies.  If I can get in before the lights go out I'm good.  Or such would be great.

Oh also if there are typos, sorry I can't see what I type.

 

MICKS PICKS, DO NOT WORRY ABOUT YOUR TYPOS. IT IS JUST SO GOOD TO HEAR FROM YOU. SO SORRY THAT YOUR VISION IS NOT IMPROVING. DID YOU EVER FIND OUT IF THERE IS A READER APP YOU CAN GET FOR THE COMPUTER THAT CAN READ THE INTERNET, MAIL ETC. TO YOU?  SENDING HUGS YOUR WAY, TOO.

(ALL CAPS, HOPING THAT MAY BE EASIER FOR YOU TO READ.)

  • Love 7
crazycatlady58

crazycatlady58

(edited)

Magpye and Mickpicks, hugs to both of you wished I lived near both of you. I am alone also, sometimes  it just feels so ....lonely ,  othertimes it feels peaceful . Mick Picks I hope you find some devices  to help you read. There seems  to be a lot of different  things  available , you just need the ones suited to you.I hope I am not being to forward  but have you tried  the Lighthose for the blind. 

Edited by crazycatlady58
Because while Lighthouse for the bling sounds interesting , it may not be able it help.
  • Love 6
Micks Picks

Micks Picks

Love 2 dance and crazycatlady thanks for any and all suggestions.  There is a reader in the dr office that would be awful for me.  I hope to get in soon to one of the Insitute for partially sighted places, where I assume they have a variety of assistive devices.  I operate a Mac lap to and don't even use a mouse, it really is on may lap.  I hate sitting at a desk.  Back kills me in no time.  Once I see many things I hope to sind some that I can comfortably use.  You rock for being so nice.

Dammit all the only thing I can do is drive very close by.  I can't see signs but can get places vey nearby.  If I had a car with good gps, and side and back up camera as well as the auto stop for the front that would be great.  But not going to invest th money unless the eyes at least stop getting worse.  If they get worse, driving at all will go too.  Uber is testing self driving cars now and all LYFT car will be elf drive win five years.  In California you still have to pass the eye test for the self drive cars.  I passed in March just before the eyes took a serious nose dive.  I know people thinks it's strange that I can drive the little I do, but all kinds of people have ridden with me, and it all looks perfectly normal to them.  I'm not a little old lady driver either.  Nobody even honks at me!    Not being able to read my mail, even with really good magnifier sucks.  If it was only one line or two, and no numbers it would be ok.  Going to the store is awful because things don't pop out at me.  And I can'g read directions.  When I put something down at home it had better never be moved or I'll never see it again.  I'm not identifying things right in front of me.  It is really weird.  But I do see the tv, was I said but not the channel guide and information.  

  • Love 1
magpye29

magpye29

MicksPicks, so sad about your sight.  We would definitely hang out.  I am going to join the gym because my son is getting married in November and I want to get my belly under control so I can find a cute dress to wear to the wedding.  

Love2Dance, I doubt I'll get another dog.  My girl was awesome and a great companion, but I spend a lot of evenings away from home now.  I got a second cat back in February when my dog started showing serious signs of aging.  I didn't want my first cat to be alone if something happened to the dog.  The kitten is a year old now, and she's been the best thing to happen to my cat.  He's 11, and he was getting blobby, but she makes him chase her, and they fight and groom each other and tear around the apartment together, and that makes me happy.  Plus they're company for each other when I'm out.  I don't have a linen closet, so I have a small shelf in my bathroom for towels and such.  He sleeps on the bottom shelf of towels, and she sleeps on the middle shelf.  It's so funny.  They both sleep in my room with me at night.

Crazycatlady58, I know what you mean about the alone.  Sometimes I love it, and sometimes it makes me feel bad.  When I feel bad, I'm likely to go out and spend money, so I try not to let myself get too unhappy.  Money's tight and I have a wedding reception to pay for in December, so I have to be careful, which I'm not good at.

I keep pretty busy.  I have season tickets every summer to a theatre down the Cape, I am an usher at two major area theatres and a house manager at a local little theatre (where I also sometimes act and sometimes work as an assistant stage manager), I make earrings for cancer patients and survivors, I sing and tell stories at a local ceilidh, go to the movies three or four times a month, write to a couple of pen pals, and am writing a southern fried novel about a girl from a deeply dysfunctional family.  I belong to a book club and am leading this month's discussion (on The Thirteenth Tale by Diane Setterfield), and I try to read a book every couple of days--I generally read about 75 pages a day, mostly on my lunch break at work.  I write at least one card or note a month to each of the 29 students in my class, and more if they do something really cool or noteworthy.  My aunts and I go out a couple of times a month, and I have some friends I hang out with from time to time, plus my parents, my sister, my niece, and my daughter and her boyfriend.  I also spend way too much time playing games on facebook, and of course I hang out here.  I really don't have any reason to feel sorry for myself, so I'm trying to get over that.  I'm actually a little creeped out because one of my father's friends (who's only a little older than I am) wants to take me out to dinner.  He wanted to date me before i got married, but I didn't go out with him then and most likely will not go out with him now.

I got to meet Kellie Pickler a couple of weeks ago when she did a concert here.  I worked her merchandise table all night, which was actually kind of fun.  After the show, she had a meet and greet, and after that, she came out to the lobby to sign autographs for a couple of people who waited for her there, so I got her to sign her photo and write happy birthday on it for my sister, who was thrilled.  

...And enough about me.  What's everyone doing for the long weekend coming up?

  • Love 5
magpye29

magpye29

1 hour ago, Love2dance said:

As for your daughter, sounds like she is pulling your chain. Even if you are upset, it may be a good idea not to let her know. Kids/young adults often get weird during this transition. It's hard for them to know how to act and where their loyalties are.

My daughter is very close to her father, and she doesn't have much use for me.  She knew he was going to dump me before I ever found out about it, and that really hurt my feelings, especially when she told me she thought I should be okay with it because we hadn't been happy for a long time.  She's been ignoring me and giving me short shrift for a couple of years now, and I can't quite figure out how to handle it.  Since I'm the one who initiated this last round of contact that ended up so poorly, I think I'm going back to my previous policy of not reaching out to her but letting her be the one to arrange any communication.  I want a closer relationship, but she doesn't, so I need to let go of that want for my own well-being.

  • Love 5
Love2dance

Love2dance

1 hour ago, magpye29 said:

My daughter is very close to her father, and she doesn't have much use for me.  She knew he was going to dump me before I ever found out about it, and that really hurt my feelings, especially when she told me she thought I should be okay with it because we hadn't been happy for a long time.  She's been ignoring me and giving me short shrift for a couple of years now, and I can't quite figure out how to handle it.  Since I'm the one who initiated this last round of contact that ended up so poorly, I think I'm going back to my previous policy of not reaching out to her but letting her be the one to arrange any communication.  I want a closer relationship, but she doesn't, so I need to let go of that want for my own well-being.

That hurts my heart. Of course, I don't know what you have tried already, but counseling really helped me sort out my feelings and come to terms with the changes in all my family relationships.

Wow, I am so impressed with your list of activities and interests. You sure don't need advice from us how to fill your time. There are not enough hours in the day for all you do.

And it sounds like your two kitties take care of my fur baby suggestion, for sure. ?

Regarding your father's friend, it's a complement that he has wanted to take you out all these years, but maybe for you, the chemistry just isn't there.

Thanks for sharing....I think you are doing really well. And hopefully your daughter will come around some day and want to renew and improve your relationship.

  • Love 4
lookeyloo

lookeyloo

So sorry @Micks Picks and @magpye29 - Micks, you sound like you are doing all you can by looking at assistive devices.  I'm hoping there are one or more that will make your life easier.  Must be SO frustrating.  Both grandsons born with low vision.  Won't be able to drive.  The 16 year old will depend on friends and family since they live in a place with no public transportation.  Maybe by the time the 8 year old is ready, there will be good self driving cars.  No fun for you of course.  

 

Magpye29- I too was dumped, many years ago.  But my kids were small and I got custody (their father not that interested).  I understand the feelings of being busy and sometimes feeling along.  Inside your head, not by the activities.  I agree with the suggestion for some brief counseling.  And leaving the contact to your daughter.  You don't want to appear needy to her.  Gives her power.  I went to counseling during my situation and although I cried through all of the sessions and it took a very long time for me to heal, it was very helpful and I learned a lot.  I still draw on what I learned then, sometimes now.  

We had to euthanize our betta fish, Frank Lawrence, yesterday.  We had him over a year and even moved him in the car from old state to new state.  He did fine with the move.  About a month ago he started looking "puny" and we did everything we learned on Mr. Google to help him get better and then when that didn't work, to pass humanely.  He never seemed in distress, only lethargic.  He finally got to just lying on the bottom of the tank, we think semi conscious.  We read that a cold dish of vodka would help him pass peacefully.  It took him about a half second and a half breath and he was gone.  It did seem humane to us.  We had a little ceremony and buried him.  He was a good fish.  Anyone with fish experience please let us know for future if there was anything else we could have done.

  • Love 7
emma675

emma675

Are any of us in NY or NJ? If so, stay safe! 

It's so freaking hot here, I can't stand it. Plus, the humidity, oy. Where is fall already??

Magpye, it sounds like you've got yourself more together than you realize. Your life sounds fun and interesting and if you happen to have a day or two where you're feeling down or depressed, that's okay. It's how we cope with major life changes and move on to better things. I would give your daughter some space, though, it sounds like she's put you through the wringer and she's deriving some power out of making you be the one to jump through hoops to stay in touch. 

Micks Picks, that sucks. Do they know why your eyesight is failing?

  • Love 3
Lemur

Lemur

1 hour ago, emma675 said:

Are any of us in NY or NJ? If so, stay safe! 

Live in NJ, work in NYC.  So yes, it's been a full weekend of terrorism idiocy for me.  Seaside Park is down the ways from me, and my commuter train was one of the lines shut down.  Also, NYC is very tense because of this crap plus the UN General Assembly is in session.  I'm doing what I do best, avoiding crowds and trash cans. 

1 hour ago, lookeyloo said:

My hometown of Linden, NJ is finally on the map, and not for anything good.  Haven't lived there in over 50 years.

Still better than Rahway. 

  • Love 5
Jynnan tonnix

Jynnan tonnix

2 hours ago, Lemur said:

Live in NJ, work in NYC.  So yes, it's been a full weekend of terrorism idiocy for me.  Seaside Park is down the ways from me, and my commuter train was one of the lines shut down.  Also, NYC is very tense because of this crap plus the UN General Assembly is in session.  I'm doing what I do best, avoiding crowds and trash cans. 

Still better than Rahway. 

We always pass exits for Rahway when we go to NJ to visit my husband's family. I know nothing about it except that the name amuses me and makes me think of cheerleaders for Motocross or something...

  • Love 2
Happyfatchick

Happyfatchick

MICKS MICKS MICKS!!!!!   Do you see my fat little self jumping up and down clapping???  I've missed you so so much!!  I'm very sorry your eyesight is declining.  Of all my senses, I would hate that the most.  Eat more carrots!!!  I hope and pray that someone will find some method to help you before it goes any further.  (And just for the record, I'm sure you do a fine job navigating roads, but I'm still pretty happy you aren't in my neighborhood...)

 

 

the Hubster and I are in Asheville, NC.  We've just started a 3 week journey going like this:  Biltmore today, driving to Charlotte to the NASCAR HOF tomorrow (ummmm...yay?).  Back to Asheville and up thru the bottom edge of Virginia to Hub's aunt who lives in WV, right on the line.  From there to Akron, OH to the Football HOF.  from there to a friend in Rochester, NY and camping at the finger lakes.  Then to Cooperstown to Baseball HOF.  (If I'm lyin, I'm dyin).  From there going north on the west side of Lake Champlain and into Canada for Montreal.  Then we're driving down the west side of Lake Ontario to Ottawa for a day, then down to Toronto.  Then Niagara Falls.  Then back thru Ohio to visit with some (QUITE) elderly Amish aunts and an uncle and some family members I haven't kept up with nearly like I should.  (Red faced).  I wanted to come thru Nashville for a couple days coming back, but since planning began, my youngest has moved to Chapel Hill, so I'm thinking we have to swing left and see them.  Did I already tell this story?  (I hear an echo).  

I've told this story before, but now there's an amendment.  When my mother died in March, I felt like my strings had been cut.  When I'm home, I'm itching to get out.  I just want OUT.  So we decided we'd get a pop up camper and do a "little" camping.  We went one time, only once.  It was HILARIOUS.  We laughed ourselves stupid in that thing, clothing and food and "stuff" piled everywhere.  It rained, and we were stuck in there... It could have been potentially a divorce inducer, but we just laughed it off.  Before the next weekend, we owned a 2500 Chevy truck, and a 32' camper trailer.  We looooooove camping, but... NOW we know.  Now that we've been doing this for 6 months, we actually KNOW what we want in a camper.  I had a wish list and he had a wish list and (thankfully!) they were the same. And I've actually found one very close to where we are... and there's a chance we may come home in a different camper than we left in.  ?

  • Love 9
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