Small Talk: The Prayer Closet

[Lemur]

I'm on my third OTC allergy medication of the spring.  Claritin stopped working.  Flonase gave me horrendous sore throats.  On to Allegra, or the generic version there of.

 

Still mourning for Prince.  Jesus, what a talent!  No one's been able to mix rock, funk, soul, R&B and electronic like him.  It's be another 50+ years before someone else cracks that code though Bloc Party came close but needed more funk and soul.  I miss those days though, where you could listen to the radio and not just have to listen to "rock" or "R&B' or (my favorite) "urban" (aka we don't wanna say rap but it's really rap).  Kids today ...

[ChiCricket]

I'm on my third OTC allergy medication of the spring.  Claritin stopped working.  Flonase gave me horrendous sore throats.  On to Allegra, or the generic version there of....

I used to suffer tremendously from spring and fall allergies. The last 2 years I've been able to control them (by a lot) by taking the prescription Singulair tablet (generic works fine).

That, and I take Allegra or Claritin (generic) every day before I know the season is going to hit me. I find if I let it get started,I just can't get it to stop, so now I treat it ahead of time, for SURE. I haven't suffered as I did before, uncontrollable sneezing, itchy eyes,etc.

Btw...I take allegra until I can tell my body is getting used to it and the allergies are sneaking back up, and then I switch to Claritin for awhile until the same thing happens and I switch back to the allegra (rinse and repeat).

Sorry for the long post, but hopefully it can help even one fellow allergy sufferer.

[NewDigs]

So I should say "no" to joining the old fart for bike week, I guess.

It is overcast here, the clouds are almost on the treetops. My hair is GIGANTIC.

Just say no.

Mine's in Leesburg FL for same.

It's so nice and quiet.

And I can watch whatever I want.

[BrianJ62]

HFC don't join the OFF (Old-Fart-Fraternity)...

[kalamac]

So, last year, I had an argument with someone that ended with me saying "Fine, I'll write a book then", even though at that point, the only writing I'd done was fanfic - all less than 1000 words in length, that was I incredibly self-conscious about, assuming everyone would hate it as soon as it was posted.

Still, I went home and started writing, got over halfway through, and stopped. Even though I knew exactly where I wanted my story to go, and had the next scene in my head, I could not bring myself to put pen to paper, (I'm old school, writing everything with pen and paper first, then typing it up when I'm done) I think because I was so nervous about it being finished and actually being a real thing.. But this is the year I've decided to push my boundaries, and two weeks ago, I forced myself to start writing again until it was finished.

Last night I published the book to Amazon Kindle Direct Publishing. It's only a short book, just over 100 pages, but it's something I've never accomplished before.

 

It is lesbian fiction set in Australia, a little romancey, erotic-ish in spots - definitely something the Duggars wouldn't approve as reading material. You know, if they read. Here is the description:

'This is not a coming out or coming of age story.
Alex and Lauren are two out lesbians in their early thirties, who fall in love and navigate their life together, in search of their happy ending.'

 

It's not everyone's kind of book, I know, but I thought that some of you here might be be interested enough to have it laid on your heart to purpose to read my book, and in the process bless me with a minor love offering in the form of royalties. - Not going to lie about the fact that if anyone buys my book, I will make $6.27 from that sale.

 

If you're interested, it is available at the Amazon Kindle store. It is called She Is by K. Mackenzie. Tell your friends, tell your enemies....

[Muffyn]

kalamac, congratulations on finishing your novel. You rock!  I'll check it out.  I could use a little lesbian romance.

[kalamac]

Thank you Muffyn!

[emma675]

Congrats, kalamac! That is a huge accomplishment.

[Happyfatchick]

Kalamac: GO YOU!!!

I'm so impressed when someone has the discipline and chutzpah to get something published! Erma Bombeck was (is still) my hero. I so wish I had the discipline it takes to do her type of work. I'm very proud of you!!!

I've just come home from a weekend camping trip with 6 of my 7 grands (one is too young) from almost 14 to 7. I will hear "Giggy!" ringing in my ears for weeks. But it was a WONDERFUL trip. We had a blast. I have really cool grandchildren.

I'm not sure I can tell this as funny as it actually was at the moment, but I'll try.

The youngest grand on this trip is a precious, sweet and tender (beautiful, too!) girl. She has some type of developmental issue that hasn't been nailed down quite yet. It makes her very innocent and a little immature, but she's able to plow through her schoolwork and stay with the class. Emotionally, she's about 4 but is able to perform the class work. It's kind of bizarre. The actual in-the-moment result is that she is brutal without meaning to be. We are on constant watch for her embarrassing pronouncements.

While camping, there were 3 brothers who zoomed in on our campground immediately and we could NOT shake those boys. They were so intrusive, they were actually coming right into the camper uninvited. This morning, one of them opened the zipper and poked his head right into the tent with my granddaughter (the almost 14). I yelled at him "You can't just go IN there, she might be getting dressed!!!" They were needy, starved for attention. I'm good for awhile, but... I'm not entirely sure I don't have one in my trunk as we speak. Holy cow!

Early this afternoon, the two youngest and I were watching a movie while the older ones were kayaking. One of the brothers walks right up the steps and into the camper and says "I's just comin to see what y'all's doin". My precious grand says "we can't play right now, we're watching a movie". He nods; he understands. But keeps standing there just inside the door. After about a minute, she says "K, bye".

I actually snorted! She wasn't being mean or hateful, she was being amicable all the way around. She thought, "well, I know he heard me, he nodded. Sooooo...he must be having a hard time gracefully leaving. I'll just help him out. K, bye!"

[Love2dance]

So, last year, I had an argument with someone that ended with me saying "Fine, I'll write a book then", even though at that point, the only writing I'd done was fanfic

Last night I published the book to Amazon Kindle Direct Publishing. It's only a short book, just over 100 pages, but it's something I've never accomplished before.....

Wow, Kalamc, congratulations. I will most definitely check it out. May it be the beginning of many more.

[kalamac]

Thank you everyone, for being so positive and supportive. It makes me feel less nervous about publishing the book, and posting about it. :)

[Barb23]

Kalamac - Congratulations!

[lookeyloo]

Thank you everyone, for being so positive and supportive. It makes me feel less nervous about publishing the book, and posting about it. :)

Congratulations Kalamac!  That is quite the achievement!!!!

[Aja]

Thank you everyone, for being so positive and supportive. It makes me feel less nervous about publishing the book, and posting about it. :)

You have accomplished what I have been trying to accomplish for decades. In accordance with my therapy, I do not feel tearfully envious of your monumental accomplishment, but only joy and happiness about the fact that YOU DID IT AND I CAN'T WHY DO I SUCK. Congrats to you! I will be checking it out!

[JayInChicago]

This is kind of out of nowhere, but as a real life trans person, I invite anyone to ask any burning trans questions, bathroom related or otherwise, here. It'll be my little ministry. Generally stay above the belt though lol. Besides bathrooms that is.

[Aja]

This is kind of out of nowhere, but as a real life trans person, I invite anyone to ask any burning trans questions, bathroom related or otherwise, here. It'll be my little ministry. Generally stay above the belt though lol. Besides bathrooms that is.

If you're interested in building a cult around this ministry, hit me up. :)

[frenchtoast]

Congrats, kalamac! That's awesome! And Aja you do not suck. I repeat, YOU DO NOT SUCK!

 

Thanks Jay. I think the most difficult thing is that the language keeps changing and sometimes the wrong thing is said, but with the right intentions. Like transgender vs transgendered. Language has been evolving so quickly sometimes it feels difficult to keep up. But it's always a good thing to have open communication and understanding, so thank you! 

[JayInChicago]

The -ed thing is somewhat regional and age. Go to a support group in the upper Midwest with middle aged or older trans people, and you will hear "transgendered". It

Probably was a ...there's a linguistic term for words that change colloquially through mishearing, like "old timers disease" instead of Alzheimer's. I'm forgetting what the term for that is. But yeah it's nonstandard. :)

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eggcorn

Sorry I'm a linguistics nerd.

[JayInChicago]

Oh and in Prince news, I'm going to see Purple Rain for the first time ever in a theater tonight!  The other day at a coffee shop with chalkboard painted walls, someone had drawn a very good image of Prince with "Goodnight Sweet Prince" under it and of all things, the trans symbol under it. I don't think Prince was really trans in most ways, ie I think he was male identified and male bodied, but obviously his style was ....gender inclusive?  LOL.  RIP

[frenchtoast]

Hey y'all, don't forget the forums will be down for a looooong time tomorrow. For more info, see here. 

[Happyfatchick]

Hey y'all, don't forget the forums will be down for a looooong time tomorrow. For more info, see here.

oh my, I had to take a Prozac just to get thru that post.

JayinChicago, I can't ask questions or comment in any way because on any given day of the week, I already spend hours trying to get my foot out of my mouth. I am curious how you feel about the latest bathroom discussion. I can't quite wrap my head around how I feel (and I'm talking about my PERSONAL POV). I'm not sure how I'll feel about a man in a suit coming into my designated space to do my binness, because 50 yards ago, he was born a woman. Also, who's checking??? On the other hand, I'm concerned about all the small businesses out there and the cost and space issues they will incur if, ultimately, accommodations are mandated.

It's my right foot that gets stuffed in my mouth. The left won't bend that far after an unfortunate incident involving Christmas lights and a ladder in January. :(

[Aja]

Hey y'all, don't forget the forums will be down for a looooong time tomorrow. For more info, see here. 

During WORK HOURS? What are you trying to do, make me productive? :(

[JayInChicago]

My view is it's an election year and the right wing needs to rally their base around a common enemy. Picking trans people is really pathetic though. We have high rates of violence against us and often are impoverished, kicked out of houses, disowned, abused etc. we also are much much much more likely victims of abuse in bathrooms than perpetrators of it.

Trans people generally use the bathroom of the gender they blend in with more. I don't live in a state with a bathroom law passed, but I use the men's rooms and have since a couple of months since I started transitioning. My voice dropped and I switched bathrooms. It was a relief because women thought I was a man in their bathroom even before transitioning. Once my voice changed though, I could no longer assure women in an alto voice that I was in the anatomically correct bathroom.

[Love2dance]

Hey y'all, don't forget the forums will be down for a looooong time tomorrow. For more info, see here.

I'm already in withdrawal.

[kathe5133]

I don't understand the whole bathroom issue in general.  It's a toilet.  Everyone poops and pees and it's just a place to do that.  In an average household the mother, father, brothers, and sisters all use the same toilet.  There are no bathrooms designated by gender in a home.  I always thought that they designated men's and women's bathrooms for the convenience of the men.  I guess men are too busy to go into a stall and relive themselves in private, so separate public toilets were instituted so no woman would not see the wrong persons pecker.

 

I work with in construction and one time, after numerous complaints that the partitions between the urinals were too close, we, the construction team had to enter the men's room to look and measure.  A man went first to make sure no one was in there.  Full grown, college educated, woman stood outside the door giggling like school girls!  I brushed past them and walked in. 

 

It's stupid.

 

There is concern about molesters switching genders or something so they can go into the bathroom to molest.  Does no one think that they do that now?  It's easy to pretend you're a woman.  No one does a crotch grab before you enter a women's public bathroom.  If you are concerned about children being molested in public bathrooms, don't let them go into public bathrooms alone.

[Aja]

Someone just posted on my Facebook feed a photo with the text "What we're learning is that conservative men find using the bathroom to be an extremely sexual experience." Lol, but also sums up my point. I am not transgender, but if a total stranger in a public bathroom is that interested in my works, that's about as creepy and dangerous as it gets.

ETA I am, however, a gay person, which makes me PART OF THE AGENDA and the DOWNFALL OF THE COUNTRY and would love nothing more than five minutes alone in a room with Bill Gothard. I want him to look at me directly in the face and tell me I'm going to hell for being gay. From there, the fantasy goes off in all kinds of wonderful directions.

Edited April 25, 2016 by Aja

[kokapetl]

Who would seriously go to the trouble of a gender reassignment to use a different bathroom due to their sexual kinks? It makes no sense. I've never seen inside a women's bathroom, but I assume the stall partitions and doors are in fact completely opaque, and not totally transparent Perspex?

[Muffyn]

The bathroom bills are an attempt to segregate people who are considered powerless in society.  One of the memes I enjoyed is one saying bathroom bills are not about safety just like water fountain bills were not about safety.  The bill is in response to a problem that does not exist.  Transgender people are not assaulting people in bathrooms.  They are much more likely to be assaulted or harassed in bathrooms, much like gender non-conforming people are. 

 

One of the other interesting things I notice in some of the memes is the woman in the stall with her feet at the cutest little quirky position.  I can't speak for everyone but I know that when I am using the toilet I am not concerned with how cute my feet look under the stall.  Such things do make me wonder how sexualized the people promoting these bills find women in the toilet.  If you use public restrooms, you have used a restroom that a transgender person has used.  You may have been in the restroom at the same time as a transgender person.  And you weren't hurt.  Because the people most likely to be victimized in these situations are not the ones who are going to make trouble.  They want to pee or poop, wash their hands and leave.  Scary stuff that. 

 

And yes, the stall doors are solid.  There is no floor show. 

Edited April 25, 2016 by Muffyn

[kokapetl]

Do numbskulls really sideeye other women in the bathroom and ask "hey, we're you born a guy?"

[NikSac]

Do numbskulls really sideeye other women in the bathroom and ask "hey, we're you born a guy?"

No. Well numbskulls maybe but not most people. You're in a stall for the only part where anything could be seen anyway so who cares? I will say I'm uncomfortable using bathrooms with stalls but no stall doors (sometimes seen around here at public parks). That's just a modesty/privacy thing though. I don't much care who walks by or what sex/gender they are, I just feel more exposed than I want to be.

[Jynnan tonnix]

I don't honestly get what the fuss is about either...There is, literally, no possible way short of a strip search and DNA test on every person who enters a public restroom to make sure they are in the approved facilities. And even if that WAS somehow possible, you'd still need to run a polygraph on them all afterward to make sure they were not, in fact, sexually attracted to the people who were in there with them. Heavens, where could someone who was bisexual relieve themselves? It's all beyond ridiculous! Just go in the stall, close it behind you, do your business and leave! Geesh!

 

Recently I was out somewhere with my mother-in-law and we needed a potty break. I forget where this was, but at any rate, the restrooms were of the sort with only one toilet per room, and the one I used was marked as unisex, which, to be honest, I hadn't noticed...I guess a woman came out of it before me so I went in. And then I couldn't get the lock to latch, but I really had to pee, and since I knew that my mother-in-law was right outside, I didn't worry too much about it. Except that she wasn't; she had noticed another restroom just around the corner and gone to use that, and a random guy proceeded to push the door to my stall open as I was sitting there. We both sort of "oops"-ed and apologized. He pushed the door closed and life went on. 

Edited April 25, 2016 by Jynnan tonnix

[frenchtoast]

Re: bathroom issue. There are already laws in the books for assaulting and molesting people. We don't need separate ones just for bathrooms. What do they think, the Ladies Room sign cast a protective barrier? WTF?

[MargeGunderson]

Re: bathroom issue. There are already laws in the books for assaulting and molesting people. We don't need separate ones just for bathrooms. What do they think, the Ladies Room sign cast a protective barrier? WTF?

Yeah, if the laws against assault and molestation aren't enough to prevent a molester going into a bathroom, a law with less serious penalties isn't going to do the trick. It was never about protecting the children.

[Happyfatchick]

If you are concerned about children being molested in public bathrooms, don't let them go into public bathrooms alone.

EXACTLY!!!!!!! I was "one of those mothers" who drug my young sons (protesting all the way) into the women's bathroom with me! Don't send the kid in there alone!!! I'm not saying there's a molester in every men's bathroom, I'm saying it freaked me out and I couldn't do it. And I have NO ill will towards other women who bring their sons into the women's.

[kalamac]

You have accomplished what I have been trying to accomplish for decades. In accordance with my therapy, I do not feel tearfully envious of your monumental accomplishment, but only joy and happiness about the fact that YOU DID IT AND I CAN'T WHY DO I SUCK. Congrats to you! I will be checking it out!

Aja, if it makes you feel any better, I am 39 years old. It took me a long time to get to this point, and I almost backed out of hitting the submit button, because I still wasn't sure what I'd written was worth reading.

I'm sure you don't suck, and you'll get there eventually.

[NikSac]

EXACTLY!!!!!!! I was "one of those mothers" who drug my young sons (protesting all the way) into the women's bathroom with me! Don't send the kid in there alone!!! I'm not saying there's a molester in every men's bathroom, I'm saying it freaked me out and I couldn't do it. And I have NO ill will towards other women who bring their sons into the women's.

I will say I think it's harder for dads on this point. My niece is too old to be going into the men's room with her dad, but he can't really go into the women's room with her either. I like that more and more places are doing the generic family restroom.

[Happyfatchick]

Also (she says in a very whispery voice, because she said she wasn't going to comment), if the govt actually made public businesses have accommodations, isn't that, in fact, calling out the exact thing a trans person was trying to conquer? I was thinking about that little Jazz. She looks like a girl. A girl!!! She wants to BE a girl. Seems to me like it would humiliate her to no end to have to use the men's in public. Imagine her in line to use the men's at a Braves game, or a wrestling event for one of her brothers. No red flag there, right? I want to know WHO'S CHECKING?

On the dainty feet in the stall meme: When I was little, my parents kept foster children. Sometimes we had them for very long periods, so that there was comfortable talk. Once, my mother was griping about some remodeling at our church and commented that she could never remember which bathroom was the women's any more. The little girl pipes up (she was a very girly girl) and says "you just look under the door to see what kind of SHOES they're wearing". We had all thought she was going to say "to see which way their feet are pointing".

[Aja]

Aja, if it makes you feel any better, I am 39 years old. It took me a long time to get to this point, and I almost backed out of hitting the submit button, because I still wasn't sure what I'd written was worth reading.

I'm sure you don't suck, and you'll get there eventually.

NICE TRY, I'M FORTY. lol! joking aside, congratulations to you...it's a big deal! :)

[Jynnan tonnix]

There's a place (I actually think they have at least two or three locations now) in or around Clearwater, FL...A big Irish-Pub inspired thing which the name of escapes me...Anyway, they have (or had, at any rate...I always wonder whether the current nonsense has forced them to change since it's been four or five years since I was last there) tricky signs on their restrooms. Plus, one of their dining rooms borders the hall where the restrooms are located, which, depending on your table, can be a source of some entertainment. The restrooms are labeled as such: The Men's room, to the right on the hall, has a sign which says "Women" in large, florid letters with a small arrow underneath pointing to the left. The Women's room, to the left likewise proclaims "Men" with a small arrow pointing to the right. When you actually enter the restrooms there is a wall you have to walk around to get into the restroom proper, so you are not just walking immediately into the wrong space, and the signs are not QUITE so subtly drawn that someone working off anything but pure assumption wouldn't stop ad think, but it's amazing how many people, if you watch them over the course of the evening, walk into the wrong space and emerge, flustered, a few seconds later.

NICE TRY, I'M FORTY. lol! joking aside, congratulations to you...it's a big deal! :)

Well, I'm fifty-seven and still waiting for some sign that I might be good at something, so all hope is not lost!

[Aja]

Well, I'm fifty-seven and still waiting for some sign that I might be good at something, so all hope is not lost!

*cough* painting *cough*

[ChiCricket]

This is Duggar-like logic..and made me laugh:

"Probably the most dangerous enemy of the Church is nipples. Not male nipples, but the lady kind, which are sinful." bwahaha!!

http://matthewepierce.com/nipple-sin-a-primer/

[kathe5133]

I will say I think it's harder for dads on this point. My niece is too old to be going into the men's room with her dad, but he can't really go into the women's room with her either. I like that more and more places are doing the generic family restroom.

Years ago a good friend took his two step children into Boston to get a birthday present for their mother (his new wife). The little girl was 5, the boy 8 or so.... I was invited along. Anyway, we are in Faneuil Hall in Boston, a mobbed tourist trap. I need to visit the loo. Well Greg is thrilled cause Maggie probably has to go and..... So I take Maggie. The women's room is mobbed. There is a door on one end that opens to the inside Hall, a door to enter or exit that leads to the street. I'm childless by choice, but there was no way I was letting this little girl out of my site! We found a stall and she went in first, while I waited outside. Then I went in and brought her in with me. Told her to face the door and I would be done in a minute. I don't know if that was proper, she truly didn't know me and may have felt uncomfortable, but I didn't care. It would take a second for someone to snatch her and vanish into the crowd. I wasn't going to risk it.

[Love2dance]

I'm childless by choice, but there was no way I was letting this little girl out of my site! We found a stall and she went in first, while I waited outside. Then I went in and brought her in with me. Told her to face the door and I would be done in a minute. I don't know if that was proper, she truly didn't know me and may have felt uncomfortable, but I didn't care. It would take a second for someone to snatch her and vanish into the crowd. I wasn't going to risk it.

You did the EXACT right thing, Kathe5133.

[NikSac]

You did the EXACT right thing, Kathe5133.

 

Yes you did!  I'll never forget being out one time and this poor single dad was freaking out about sending his young daughter into the women's room by herself but he didn't really have options - it was just him and his daughter. He talked to me for a bit while I was standing in the bathroom line (you can always depends on the women's room for a line, right?).  I thought it was strange until I realized he was looking for someone he felt he could trust to take his daughter into the restroom. I ended up taking her, getting her back to her dad, and getting back in line so I could pee myself, but I remember that overwhelming sense of responsibility. That kid was not gonna get hurt on my watch, even if my watch was only a few minutes.

[GeeGolly]

I guess I'll have to do something productive today rather than check-out PTV. The horrors.

[Micks Picks]

I remember taking cae pf mu fronds little girls for a couple of days years ago.  At home my husband went to pee in the bathroom and found one of the girls behind him asking what he was doing.  He told her calmly and she said ok and that was that.  No big deal.  They didn't make a big deal of it, just played it very well.

[emma675]

Thank goodness the forums are back up (although I'm going to have to learn how to use them all over again). I had to be productive at work yesterday, it sucked.

[zoomama]

yay---you are all back!!!   

[Love2dance]

Thanks David and crew. Musta been a fun day! Glad to have you back!

[kathe5133]

Yea!  The forums are back.  I was almost going to do actual work.......