Small Talk: The Prayer Closet

[flyingdi]

My father went nutso on Ambien. The doctor told he was actually too old to be taking it. One of the many things he did on that drug was wake my mom in the middle of the night and tell her she had to leave because he and the kids had voted her out. This came out of nowhere. It's funny now.

[lookeyloo]

Another funny story about Ambien. We were all visiting son and family in the PNW - other son and husband arrived from hotel.  Son was very groggy.  Thought he was sick.  Asked for soup.  Laid on couch.  Towards end of day felt better and then realized he took an ambien instead of a zyrtec!  He never did sleep!!

 

I love 2.5 generic ambien for the middle of the night.  I can always fall asleep.  I can't always stay asleep.  So I save my tiny dose for times when it is one night after the other. I get 5 good hours of sleep.  I have never eaten or wandered in the night.  Mr. lookeyloo is a light sleeper and whenever I even get up to go to the bathroom he says automatically "what's wrong?". Nothing.  So he would know if there was a commotion in the night.

[bigskygirl]

They gave me a half tablet of a generic sleep aid when I had my sleep study test, but I still had a hard time sleeping. Of course when you stop breathing an average of 36 times a hour, it is a hard to sleep. I can be a light sleeper and hear about every sound in the house and outside. The CPAP machine does help, but I still get insomnia or wake up during the night. I do fall asleep before putting the mask on or I fall asleep with it on, but somehow I end up taking the mask off during the night. I also have some strange dreams, end up talking in my sleep, or wake up during the night thinking I was suppose to be somewhere.

[Almost 3000]

Its a good thing that I sleep well because combined stories about Ambien and a problem with two sleeping pills I took in the 70s have scared me off any sleeping aid. I need to ask a pharmacist what could have been the cause of sleeping pills that gave me the feeling of wanting to jump out of my skin and agitation so I of course couldn't sleep at all. I called it at the time feeling like I had the screaming heebie jeebies. It was a standard OTC of the time and the second was something at the hospital. I've never taken a third sleeping pill but have popped a Benadryl to go to sleep. Anyone else have problems with OTC sleeping pills??

[zoomama]

and here am i, awake more than asleep. i take melatonin at night to shut my brain down to a dull roar, then wake up ab out ever twol hours or so. last night i remember waking at about 12:30 and then hearing my husband shutting a door and not going back to sleep  again. tossing and turning all night. finally fell asleep about 6a.m. and slept till 8:30a.m. where the phone woke me or i'd probably still be out. sleep and i are not good friends, not  now, not for years.

[bigskygirl]

I took Tylenol sleep pills after my husband was diagnosed with his illness for a short period of time. At the time I was so stressed out to the point, I am sure the Graves Disease was starting to kick in big time. I cannot take Tylenol or generic Advil without wanting to fall asleep within a half an hour to an hour. I noticed this years ago, but I am sure the sleep apnea does not help.

[flyingdi]

I have actually tried several prescription sleep drugs. No effect whatsoever. Ativan, Ambien and the one with the butterfly on it(Lyrics, maybe). Still don't sleep. Benadyrl doesn't even make me drowsy. The only thing that makes me drowsy is codeine but you can't take that just to sleep.

[Muffyn]

I was at Minneapolis-St. Paul airport early this morning.  There was a sign listing things you need to put in separate bins - CPAP, laptops . . . .  The guy next to me in line who was almost as tired as I was (we both almost walked right into the ropes separating the lines) looked at the sign in the distance and asked, "Does that say crap in a bin?"  I showed I was awake by responding, "They take security very seriously here.  Did you bring a stool sample?"  

[Happyfatchick]

MUFFYN, that is hilarious!!! I needed that laugh!

I loooooooooove my Ambien. I am a lifelong insomniac, sleep and I have NEVER been friends. I will HURT somebody over the Ambien. (I take the generic). I've been taking it for maybe 4 years, and it has been the topic of many, many fun stories for my family. And I've had people look at me with a straight face and tell me it is, in fact, habit forming. pssssht! I slept an average of 4 hours a night for over 50 years. I've discovered sleep!!! If I'm really DOG tired and can sleep without it, I do. If I work all night (and I do frequently during my busy season), I don't take it when I AM able to lay down. I don't take it when I stay over at my mom's. Normally, I'm up later than anyone in the house - but on vacation when we share a house with several people who aren't normally around at night - it's novel worthy.

Unfortunately, my insomnia is so set in stone, it used to take more than an hour for the Ambien to take effect. And if I'm stressed [overtired, worried, dreading something, too full, hungry, have company coming, need to buy groceries, left a light on in the kitchen, can't remember my childhood phone number, etc.]: forget it. Some nights I haven't gone to bed when the sun comes up (after taking Ambien). I frequently am up 36 hours when I'm in my sleepless zone. And I'm not "sort of" awake - I could bale hay or hang wallpaper. The neighbors don't like it much when I cut grass at 3:00am. (It's cyclical, but I don't sleep all that well even when I'm at the bottom of my sleepless cycle). Genetics I guess - my oldest son and HIS son aren't good sleepers either. I've heard that sleepless people have shorter life spans and I believe this is true. I recently discovered if I break that tiny little white pill into 3 or 4 little bits, I'll be asleep in 30 minutes. SCORE!!! One of the things I like most about Ambien is that I have absolutely NO grogginess or hangover effect the next day. Eight hours and one minute (if I take a whole pill) and I'm up and going full speed. (Not a paid spokesperson for the Ambien pharmaceutical company...).

I've never been able to take Benadryl. Must be genetic, my father couldn't take it either. It makes me jumpy, not sleepy. Like I'm going to come out of my skin. Restless. Caffeine has that effect too.

HAPPYFATCHICK, I'm confused. Did you order the malted milk balls or did some feeling guilty family member order them for you? Either way, major win. I would LOVE to go to my mailbox and find 4 pounds of M&M peanut candy. Heaven.

Glad your mom is comfortable. How lovely that you are playing music for her. You are an amazing daughter.

ETA: Ohhhh. Now I get it....thanks WILSIE..Ambian side effect, of course. Duh.

LTD: I tried to say this earlier and the computer kept kicking me out - you "say" it's lovely that I play music for her. You haven't heard me play, obviously.

Edited January 30, 2016 by Happyfatchick

[GeeGolly]

Sleep problems. Mine started years ago. I'm a bit med-phobic, so I continue to struggle. I consider waking up in the 4s a success. My problem is not falling asleep, but staying asleep. and once I'm up, I'm up. If I wake, say at 2am, I can't even think about trying to go back to sleep until 4 or 5. On work days that is the worst because trying to wake up that second time is cruel & unusual punishment. It also messes with my appetite, so at about 10am my tummy is screaming "where is lunch?", 

 

On the weekends I feel like I'm on a newborn born schedule; I sleep for a few hours, up for a bit, and then sleep for a few more, without the pressure of getting up for work. Sunday nights bring on a feeling of dread knowing that I don't have the option of getting a second nap.

[Barb23]

Knock on wood, I don't suffer from sleep problems like you all do. I do wake up around 4 am to goto the bathroom & to take my pain med. I usually stay awake for an hour, watching Cheers,QVC , or Dateline letting my med kick in. Then nod off for a few more hours. I saw something on the Doctors or Dr Oz about women waking up at 4 am & not being able to fall back asleep. I forget what reason the Drs gave for this happening but think it occurs to mostly women, so could be a hormonal thing. I think some have gotten together to form a club or blog to swap war stories. Anyone heard of this?

[frenchtoast]

I haven't heard of this, but I've been waking up around 1ish and then 4ish and then the stupid dogs wander the room at 5ish and then the alarm goes off at six, even though I'm up. On the flip side, I'm ready for bed at 10ish and I can fall back asleep at the 1ish wake up. It's that 4ish one that is killing me lately. Thankfully, I'm a stay at home parent, so I can doze off after lunch and it's fine. My kids are old enough now that they have to learn to do some chores--vacuuming, laundry etc so that they are actually functioning adults in 10 years so even I don't get something done, I have the kids (learn how to) do it.

 

I have found that when I exercise regularly I sleep better and I don't get the lunchtime doldrums. It's weird, but I'll have energy during the day and come bedtime I'm asleep and stay asleep. I also don't get the raging munchies. Since my jeans are starting to not fit and the dress I wore to see Cabaret last night in Providence was awfully tight, I need to get back into that routine. But not this weekend--it's my birthday Monday and I want to eat my cake. 

[Tabbygirl521]

Certain meds tend to hit me like a ton of bricks, so when I started having sleep issues last year, I tried melatonin. It worked like a charm. My husband has good luck with it, too.

[MarysWetBar]

Ahhh sleep. I have also fallen prey to that waking up at weird hours thing and then not being able to fall back asleep. I'm sure it's hormonal for me. Oddly though, when i have a string of days off, i fall naturally into a cycle of wake up around nine thirty and fall asleep around 1:30 - 2 :00 a.m. Like another poster said, Sunday nights are hell for me. ..knowing I will be heading to work with 3 hours of sleep in me.

Hard to explain to people how if I'm woken up at 2, that's when my day starts. ..there is no falling back asleep until at least six..when my alarm goes off anyway. Sometimes I feel like I'm walking and working in a dream state.

[Love2dance]

 I have found that when I exercise regularly I sleep better and I don't get the lunchtime doldrums. It's weird, but I'll have energy during the day and come bedtime I'm asleep and stay asleep. I also don't get the raging munchies. Since my jeans are starting to not fit and the dress I wore to see Cabaret last night in Providence was awfully tight, I need to get back into that routine. But not this weekend--it's my birthday Monday and I want to eat my cake.

Happy Birthday, FRENCHTOAST. Enjoy every bite of your cake!

[Happyfatchick]

I want cake!

[GeeGolly]

I want cake!

My birthday was last Sunday - ice cream cake - sorry all gone.

[wilsie]

Happy Birthday wishes, frenchtoast!  Happy late birthday wishes, GeeGolly!  Happyfatchick, whether the sounds that come from your playing sound good to you or not, I've got to believe that somewhere in your mom's heart she hears the love that comes from you being there with her and the music and she feels that love.  I feel it when you write it.

[pinkie]

Happy BIrthday FRENCHTOAST! Make a wish iiiii

 

Also belated Happy Birthday wishes to you, GeeGolly iiiii

[MargeGunderson]

My fellow sleep-deprived people, I have found you! I have no problem falling asleep but when I wake up in the middle of the night, that's it for me. Sometimes I can fall back asleep but it's always an hour or so before I have to get up. I take medication for migraines that is supposed to help with my sleep but the only real effect I've seen is that if I forget to take it I can't get to sleep. Unfortunately tonight seems to be one of those nights.

[frenchtoast]

My birthday was last Sunday - ice cream cake - sorry all gone.

Happy Birthday! I almost always request ice cream cake. And since my birthday has tended to be around the Super Bowl, a family member would make home made ice cream cake. We have not seen them the past few years at Super Bowl as her spouse has been ill. 

 

I have not seen a cake. I'm hoping the kids get it tomorrow because it would be awkward to buy my own cake. I will do it because I have no shame. It would just be nice if I didn't have to.

[GeeGolly]

Happy Birthday! I almost always request ice cream cake. And since my birthday has tended to be around the Super Bowl, a family member would make home made ice cream cake. We have not seen them the past few years at Super Bowl as her spouse has been ill. 

 

I have not seen a cake. I'm hoping the kids get it tomorrow because it would be awkward to buy my own cake. I will do it because I have no shame. It would just be nice if I didn't have to.

Happy Birthday to you too! I never even thought of a homemade ice cream cake. Enjoy your day!!

[Happyfatchick]

Happy Birthday wishes, frenchtoast!  Happy late birthday wishes, GeeGolly!  Happyfatchick, whether the sounds that come from your playing sound good to you or not, I've got to believe that somewhere in your mom's heart she hears the love that comes from you being there with her and the music and she feels that love.  I feel it when you write it.

I've tried to respond to this twice already and twice got shut off while proofreading. one 'mo time!

Yes! Thank you Wilsie for understanding that and saying it better than I ever could have. she loved, supported and pushed my playing in the same way a mother with a truly overweight daughter with acne, braces and bad hair encourages that daughter to try for the homecoming court. (I would soooo do that!!). We never had a visitor in our house EVER who left without my mother having me play something for them. It was exhilarating when I was 7, excruciating when I was 15. [The UPS guy, Mom, really???] I was never going to be a concert pianist - turns out ADD and classical music memorization can be a fatal combination. But my mother thinks I'm amazingly talented - how many bazillion times have I heard, "that girl...she can do ANYTHING she wants. She is SO talented." [let me say here that she doesn't mean just piano. She meant I was talented in ANYTHING I ever tried. She was BOSS about believing in me.] I played for different churches for almost 35 years. I can play every single hymn in the old blue Baptist hymnal from memory, and I have 37 beautiful versions of Great Is Thy Faithfulness. When I play for her now, I imagine, in my head, the notes swirling about her in that bed. Is it music or just noise? Does she hear bars of songs and try to catch them? Do the notes land on her skin like butterflies but only for seconds? Is it peaceful? Does she remember my own particular music-isms and know she's hearing me? Hearing her past? She seems to enjoy it, and that could have gone either way. If she'd been restless or agitated, I wouldn't have tried it any more.

One other thing - my Granny (Mama's mother) lived with us as I grew up. She was paralyzed on her left side from an unfortunate stroke suffered at the tender age of 26. But she would get down the hall from her bedroom to the living room dragging that lame leg just as soon as I was home from school. She would plant herself in the chair beside the piano and I would be expected to play for her until she had her fill every single day. Granny would sing too, Mama never did try to sing. At the end of her life, granny had a horrible stroke that put her in hospital. She went from hospital to a kind of rehab place, where she died after 2 weeks. At the rehab facility, there was a common day room with a piano. Every day after school, my mom would take me there, and wheel granny in to hear me play. She was too sick and confused to converse by then, she was silent. The last memory I have of my granny was hearing her sing when I played "what A Friend We Have in Jesus". She didn't know me, she didn't talk, but somewhere buried inside her were the words to that song. She sang every word.

Ok, even I can't come up with a humorous way to end that story. It still makes me weepy.

[Love2dance]

My birthday was last Sunday - ice cream cake - sorry all gone.

Happy belated birthday, GEEGOLLY. Hope your celebration was awesome.

[Love2dance]

I have not seen a cake. I'm hoping the kids get it tomorrow because it would be awkward to buy my own cake. I will do it because I have no shame. It would just be nice if I didn't have to.

I hope you enjoy your cake no matter HOW you get it, FRENCHTOAST.

Edited January 31, 2016 by Love2dance

[wilsie]

 

I've tried to respond to this twice already and twice got shut off while proofreading. one 'mo time!

Yes! Thank you Wilsie for understanding that and saying it better than I ever could have. she loved, supported and pushed my playing in the same way a mother with a truly overweight daughter with acne, braces and bad hair encourages that daughter to try for the homecoming court. (I would soooo do that!!). We never had a visitor in our house EVER who left without my mother having me play something for them. It was exhilarating when I was 7, excruciating when I was 15. [The UPS guy, Mom, really???] I was never going to be a concert pianist - turns out ADD and classical music memorization can be a fatal combination. But my mother thinks I'm amazingly talented - how many bazillion times have I heard, "that girl...she can do ANYTHING she wants. She is SO talented." [let me say here that she doesn't mean just piano. She meant I was talented in ANYTHING I ever tried. She was BOSS about believing in me.] I played for different churches for almost 35 years. I can play every single hymn in the old blue Baptist hymnal from memory, and I have 37 beautiful versions of Great Is Thy Faithfulness. When I play for her now, I imagine, in my head, the notes swirling about her in that bed. Is it music or just noise? Does she hear bars of songs and try to catch them? Do the notes land on her skin like butterflies but only for seconds? Is it peaceful? Does she remember my own particular music-isms and know she's hearing me? Hearing her past? She seems to enjoy it, and that could have gone either way. If she'd been restless or agitated, I wouldn't have tried it any more.

One other thing - my Granny (Mama's mother) lived with us as I grew up. She was paralyzed on her left side from an unfortunate stroke suffered at the tender age of 26. But she would get down the hall from her bedroom to the living room dragging that lame leg just as soon as I was home from school. She would plant herself in the chair beside the piano and I would be expected to play for her until she had her fill every single day. Granny would sing too, Mama never did try to sing. At the end of her life, granny had a horrible stroke that put her in hospital. She went from hospital to a kind of rehab place, where she died after 2 weeks. At the rehab facility, there was a common day room with a piano. Every day after school, my mom would take me there, and wheel granny in to hear me play. She was too sick and confused to converse by then, she was silent. The last memory I have of my granny was hearing her sing when I played "what A Friend We Have in Jesus". She didn't know me, she didn't talk, but somewhere buried inside her were the words to that song. She sang every word.

Ok, even I can't come up with a humorous way to end that story. It still makes me weepy.

This is beautiful and has me tearing up, too.  Your writing about your mom and granny touches a part of me that understands how it is when you love your child/grandchild or whoever is in your life who is dear to you.  Your mom saw and heard you with what I call loving eyes and ears.  How could she not be proud?

[Love2dance]

[quote name="Happyfatchick" post="1915050" timestamp="1454227143"The last memory I have of my granny was hearing her sing when I played "what A Friend We Have in Jesus". She didn't know me, she didn't talk, but somewhere buried inside her were the words to that song. She sang every word.

Ok, even I can't come up with a humorous way to end that story. It still makes me weepy.

HAPPYFATCHICK, thank you for sharing your family stories with us. That is all I have to say.

[lookeyloo]

Happy late birthday to GeeGolly and frenchtoast.

HFC- beautiful stories. We are in a northern state visiting Mr lookeyloo's elderly parents. We are at their house with the dad. His mom is in a nursing home with dementia caused by her diabetes and hastened by her refusal to do half of what the doctors said. He managed to force her medication on her and tried to get her to exercise and eat right but she was noncompliant. No way to know if it would have progressed this far if she were compliant but anyway here we are. His father is almost 90. He has always been a "my way or the highway" kind of man. Still is. He loves to expound on a number of topics. No one can get a word in. We got here in time for lunch yesterday. Spent from

Lunch through the afternoon til dinner and then til bedtime sitting at the table listening to him. He is not evil. But it was a long day. Try and add a comment but he never stops talking. One might think he is lonely but he has been just this way for the 30 plus years I've known him. He has someone that comes in everyday to clean and cook. He chats with her. He spends lunch every day at the nursing home. So our plans today are to sit all day at the nursing home with his wife who puts her head on her chest and "sleeps". Maybe she will recognize her son for a minute.

I am practicing a pleasant facial expression and trying not to look bored.

[crazycatlady58]

I've tried to respond to this twice already and twice got shut off while proofreading. one 'mo time!

Yes! Thank you Wilsie for understanding that and saying it better than I ever could have. she loved, supported and pushed my playing in the same way a mother with a truly overweight daughter with acne, braces and bad hair encourages that daughter to try for the homecoming court. (I would soooo do that!!). We never had a visitor in our house EVER who left without my mother having me play something for them. It was exhilarating when I was 7, excruciating when I was 15. [The UPS guy, Mom, really???] I was never going to be a concert pianist - turns out ADD and classical music memorization can be a fatal combination. But my mother thinks I'm amazingly talented - how many bazillion times have I heard, "that girl...she can do ANYTHING she wants. She is SO talented." [let me say here that she doesn't mean just piano. She meant I was talented in ANYTHING I ever tried. She was BOSS about believing in me.] I played for different churches for almost 35 years. I can play every single hymn in the old blue Baptist hymnal from memory, and I have 37 beautiful versions of Great Is Thy Faithfulness. When I play for her now, I imagine, in my head, the notes swirling about her in that bed. Is it music or just noise? Does she hear bars of songs and try to catch them? Do the notes land on her skin like butterflies but only for seconds? Is it peaceful? Does she remember my own particular music-isms and know she's hearing me? Hearing her past? She seems to enjoy it, and that could have gone either way. If she'd been restless or agitated, I wouldn't have tried it any more.

One other thing - my Granny (Mama's mother) lived with us as I grew up. She was paralyzed on her left side from an unfortunate stroke suffered at the tender age of 26. But she would get down the hall from her bedroom to the living room dragging that lame leg just as soon as I was home from school. She would plant herself in the chair beside the piano and I would be expected to play for her until she had her fill every single day. Granny would sing too, Mama never did try to sing. At the end of her life, granny had a horrible stroke that put her in hospital. She went from hospital to a kind of rehab place, where she died after 2 weeks. At the rehab facility, there was a common day room with a piano. Every day after school, my mom would take me there, and wheel granny in to hear me play. She was too sick and confused to converse by then, she was silent. The last memory I have of my granny was hearing her sing when I played "what A Friend We Have in Jesus". She didn't know me, she didn't talk, but somewhere buried inside her were the words to that song. She sang every word.

Ok, even I can't come up with a humorous way to end that story. It still makes me weepy.

So I am sitting here after waking up at 4 am and not being able to go back to sleep crying after reading your story. So much love in those words. Whether your mom can say it she knows deep in her heart there is love comming from you may we all have such a blessed ending to our life. So many get to the end of their life alone, this is not happening to your mom because of YOU. may God give you peace. Edited January 31, 2016 by crazycatlady58

[Happyfatchick]

Lookey, it's too bad you're up north right now - the weather in our shared neck-o-the-woods is FABULOUS. Absolutely gorgeous. Was yesterday too.

[BOOgen3]

I have not seen a cake. I'm hoping the kids get it tomorrow because it would be awkward to buy my own cake. I will do it because I have no shame. It would just be nice if I didn't have to.

Three birthdays ago, I did that exact thing. My son was away at grad school and my husband prefers to ignore birthdays, especially his own. When I realized that no cake would be forthcoming (and I was more than just a tad angry with my husband) I went to the local Big Y and bought my own quarter sheet cake. When the gal in the bakery asked if I wanted anything written on it, I told her "Happy Birthday Me." My next two birthdays were spent with my husband in India/Nepal and Turkey respectively. I think my husband now understands it would have been much cheaper for him in the long run had he just bought me that damn cake.

[lookeyloo]

Lookey, it's too bad you're up north right now - the weather in our shared neck-o-the-woods is FABULOUS. Absolutely gorgeous. Was yesterday too.

Happy, I knew we were leaving great weather but we will be back tomorrow. Won't be as nice I'm sure. But the good news is that even though the snow is still piled high the roads here are clear and it was a gorgeous sunny day and not too cold and we went to the Hagley museum on the Brandywine Creek between heartbreaking visits to the facility where the demented mother in law is. So sad. She had moments of recognition for us. And cried when we left. And so did we.

[Micks Picks]

Ah birthday cake.  I've seldom had one.  I mean almost never.  And I've mentioned them many times.  I got a pie a couple of years ago.  Otherwise, dinner out, on or about the right day.  I gave up years ago.  I really don't like a big deal being made out of everything for everybody, but my family slipped too far in the other direction.

Edited February 1, 2016 by Micks Picks

[Happyfatchick]

You know what, MicksP?  I loooooove other people's birthdays.  I DO!!!  I make a fuss and there's always cake and presents and I LOVE it.  I've been the unofficial cake-maker for my grands ever since I've been having them (because you know I personally pushed each one out...).  We could buy cake, yes.  It would probably be cheaper and definitely be easier - but I make a cake especially for THAT kid.  Some of them have been epic, some of them have been "eat fast, the cake is sliding off the table!!!  One year I made a Thomas the Train creation that covered the entire tabletop.  He was pulling cars made of cake and full of treats.  The tracks were rice krispie treats.  It's great fun, really.  I made a castle for the one grand this year (I made a castle for another grand a few years back, and the dogs LICKED all the icing off the turrets when I was out of the room). 

 

I loooooooooove a big party too.  I love it when my peeps have birthdays on the weekends so we can cook out and have a big fire and the guys can have a beer (or 5).  We love birthdays around here. 

 

Except mine.  I don't love my birthday for much the same reasons you don't.  We have a cookout (or we all meet and go eat).  But I have to pick the day (if it's not on a weekend) and the place and organize everything.  Or get the food and COOK it if we do it here!  Our little friend-pod is 3 grown men, myself, and my grandson who is attached to my hip.  We get together with these same guys every single Friday, and have for years.  Before my last child left home, he was with us too - so really 4 guys...and me.  One year I told them all when we were together, "Look.  I want a cake this year.  I never bug y'all about this, but this year, I want ONE OF YOU to be in charge of showing up with a cake".  We went Mexican that year and met there.  I sat down and looked around the table.  No one said Happy Birthday OR Happy Kissmybutt...nothing.  So I said "Where's the cake?"  They all did the side eye to each other and looked appropriately embarrassed.  No cake.  NO CAKE!!!  You can GET a cake at every grocery store in the county, and you passed SEVERAL on your way here, and yet...not ONE of you remembered cake.  Plus, it's not like meeting up with me on a FRIDAY was a surprise and you didn't have time to prepare, right?  Are you KIDDING ME???  The ONE thing I asked for was a damn CAKE!!!  HOW HARD IS THAT????? 

 

I just wanted to make them understand that they have to consider someone else besides themselves every now and again.  Just saying.  It was a nice little tirade and they teased me about it for months.  But THAT'S why grownups hate their birthdays.  Because there's this unspoken expectancy that you'll have a good day and that you'll get cake.  When you don't - bleh.  It's MY day.  Underscores that you're just the nobody you already believed yourself to be.  Thanks, pal.  It's also why I won't put my birthdate on the social media calendars like FB.  I don't want 50-leven birthday wishes from people who really couldn't care less.  But...I still do want that birthday recognition from the people who matter the most.  My peeps are cousins who are bachelors.  I do SO MUCH for those guys, holy cow.  And that's fine, really.  I love them, and they matter to me.  I still want cake.  I want cake!

[frenchtoast]

^^Exactly this HFC. Though I must credit hubby and kids--they have tried. Last year was the big 40 and it was the Superbowl. Which is awesome and hubby had tried to get some friends up and visit but with the weather and health it didn't happen. And I didn't get a cake. But I'm ALWAYS the organizer and baker of yummy cakes, so it's hard for me to loosen the reins. But, seriously, all I want is to stay in my pjs all day to watch my favorite movies and a birthday cake. 

 

And I got my cake, an evening early because we met up with my mom. And he tried to do something nice and I ruined it by opening my big mouth and telling a friend I was trying to see if we could go see Cabaret. Which turned into, "I already bought the tickets. Happy Birthday! Early!"  I'm really terrible.

[GeeGolly]

Ah birthday cake.  I've seldom had one.  I mean almost never.  And I've mentioned them many times.  I got a pie a couple of years ago.  Otherwise, dinner out, on or about the right day.  I gave up years ago.  I really don't like a big deal being made out of everything for everybody, but my family slipped too far in the other direction.

Not sure when your birthday is, Hope you like chocolate.

[CherryMalotte]

Ya know...not much of a cake lover here.  Will take shrimp cocktail for the birthday though.  Or maybe a chocolate peanut butter brownie.

 

The parents are driving me officially nuts.  The mother is not well and worn out, won't seek medical treatment, and while the male one is on the mend, he's grumpy and not fun to deal with.  Very demanding.  He doesn't have a drivers license anymore, and while she does, their vehicle is getting repaired now.  I've done the grocery run two weeks now, and while it's not hard per se it's time consuming because I have to drive to their place, listen to them bicker, get a list with details, go to the store they like...and then it's still phone calls in the next few days, oh I forgot this, I need this, I need that.  I have to figure out a better system, and I think it's being up front with them and saying I will only do the shopping once a week.  Then my dad mentioned the other day that he wants me to clean their dirty hoarder house.  I put him off for this weekend (because I was exhausted from this week's running) but will have to go over there at least this next Saturday.  I'm tired just thinking about it.  At some point I will have to say no or I'm going to lose what little mind I have left.  Maybe if this was a loving relationship between us I would not have a problem, but it's not.  No warm and fuzzies, no I love you, and while my efforts are appreciated there are just some thank you's that are forty odd years too late.  

 

For those of you that do have good relationships with your parents or can have help with taking care of them I envy you.  Thanks for letting me rant.  And no, they won't accept help from anybody else, or hire people.

[Micks Picks]

THANK YOU FOR THE GOOD WISHES, AND GEE GOLLY, THANK YOU FOR THE CAKE.

[MarysWetBar]

Micks!

I know it's not your bday but wanted you to have for next one!

Also know you love the doggies :)

Edited February 1, 2016 by MarysWetBar

[Micks Picks]

Thanks you MarysWetBar, you know I LOVE dogs.  So appropriate.  

 

You are very nice, HFC, GG & MWB

[Love2dance]

Ya know...not much of a cake lover here.  Will take shrimp cocktail for the birthday though.  Or maybe a chocolate peanut butter brownie.

 

 I have to figure out a better system, and I think it's being up front with them and saying I will only do the shopping once a week.  Then my dad mentioned the other day that he wants me to clean their dirty hoarder house.  I put him off for this weekend (because I was exhausted from this week's running) but will have to go over there at least this next Saturday.  I'm tired just thinking about it.  At some point I will have to say no or I'm going to lose what little mind I have left.  Maybe if this was a loving relationship between us I would not have a problem, but it's not.  No warm and fuzzies, no I love you, and while my efforts are appreciated there are just some thank you's that are forty odd years too late.  

 

For those of you that do have good relationships with your parents or can have help with taking care of them I envy you.  Thanks for letting me rant.  And no, they won't accept help from anybody else, or hire people.

CHERRYMALOTTE, I think you really know the answer for your parents' demands. Time for tough love. Let them know your limits, and if they can afford it, insist they hire help for the jobs that are too much for you. I know, easy for me to say.

As for cakes and birthdays, I really don't like store bought cakes, and only love my own chocolate-mocha frosting, so I am happy with just going out to eat. It doesn't have to be on the real day, and I am fine with waiting if a weekend getaway is coming up soon. I'm low maintenance for that and so is hubby, fortunately. But for those of you who wanted cake and didn't get it, hugs to you and a huge piece of cyber cake.

[Micks Picks]

I mentioned somebody who posted here having adopted a cat formerly belonging to the Duggars.  I just remembered her name.  MrsJumbo.  Anybody know what happened to her, or if she posts here but on a different forum now.  I miss her.

[NikSac]

CHERRYMALOTTE, I think you really know the answer for your parents' demands. Time for tough love. Let them know your limits, and if they can afford it, insist they hire help for the jobs that are too much for you. I know, easy for me to say.

 

...and if they can't, see if there are church, county, state, etc. programs that might help. I speak as someone who overdid it last year and injured myself pretty badly. Now I can't help very much even when I want to. So do your best to speak up before you get to that point. (and yeah I agree, easier said than done)

[Barb23]

Happy Birthday to all celebrating.

I mentioned somebody who posted here having adopted a cat formerly belonging to the Duggars.  I just remembered her name.  MrsJumbo.  Anybody know what happened to her, or if she posts here but on a different forum now.  I miss her.

I remember that poster & there are other ones that have slipped out of cyber sight that I miss, too. Maybe we should put out the call for a cyber reunion of some type.

Oh Cherry, how I feel for you. Being one who has to depend on others to do most of my shopping & errands, I have learned to go with the flow. Makes it so much easier. Mr Barb works out of state so Son does most of our grocery shopping & my sister will pick up odds & ends . My sister got some After the snow items for me & our mom while she was at store. Sis laughed about our mom's list vs mine. Mom had to give a dissertation on each of her items. Mine was simple: green grapes, rye bread, etc. I appreciate everyone's help so much I don't want to rock the boat by being picky. I'm not that kind of person anyway. But I know older folks are set in their ways & giving up their freedom is hard. But you need to lay down some rules before you over do it (like NicSac said.)

My sister & I laugh at this story. A little background info first: Sis usually comes & helps out me & mom on one of her days off each week. Luckily me & mom live a few streets away from each other. Sis mainly helps me with my hair. We are very appreciative & don't take her for granted. This happened on the God awful week Sis &family & esp my niece had dealing with the suicide of my niece's best friend the weekend after Thanksgiving. Of course, my sister was going in 50 different directions & told us she wasn't coming up that week. I wasn't expecting her & if there was something I needed, there are others that could have helped me. Mr Barb's family also lives close by & offers help too. Well the first thing out of Mom's mouth was "well, will Barb be Ok?" Sis sort of lost it with mom & told her I was fine & if I did need something, someone else would have to help. This was also the time my son was between jobs & home most of time. We can't figure out mom's thinking that I couldn't get along with anyone else's help besides Sis' & i didn't need help that week anyway.

My mom is the same way with our food. She is always asking if we have enough, whether snow or not. We sure do - I have to remind her we have 2 full freezers & there's just 2 of us. She had Sis buy us a huge family size Stouffer's lasagna before the snow storm. It will take us a week to eat all that. (Thinkng of sending it to the Duggars.) Sis & I have now decided when Mom tells her to buy something for us, she won't buy it & tell her she did. I'm very grateful for Moms concern about our food & her generosity in paying for food & other items. For some reason it's like she thinks all we have to eat are cheese crackers, even tho that is far from the truth, which she knows. It's funny, too, that she is just one person & says things last her a while but she can't understand there are just two of us (& just me during the day) & we are in the same boat by having things last a long time too. Sis & I have just concluded she is just being a mom & wants to help, so we'll just roll with it.

Sorry guys, I didn't mean for this to turn into a rant but the food thing has been bothering me for a while & it feels good to get it off my chest. As always, thanks for listening.

[Happyfatchick]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY FRENCH TOAST!!!

 

HAPPY LATE BIRTHDAY GEEGOLLY

 

AND HAPPY EVERY BIRTHDAY MICKS!  (You need to tell us when it is, so we won't forget this year!)

[CherryMalotte]

I have to take my male parent to the VA tomorrow for a couple of visits, so the both of them are going to get told one shopping trip a week and that's flat.  I still have a house of my own to take care of with a husband that has RA and the old child, who can take care of herself but needs to be prodded.  I have been doing the laundry as well, so that will be a twice a week deal, one day when I do the shopping and then a random day mid week - and maybe on those visits I can take out the trash or do some simple things.  He's the jerk that needs to get off his ass.  I had major major nasty female problems for years until I had the ole hysterectomy and still managed to cook, clean, take care of a smaller child (and the bigger man child) and work my odd hours, so he can suck it.  

 

It's probably shameful to say but I did have a nice yell festival last week with him on the way to the VA - he complained that he would be late to his appointment, while we were driving almost up to the door mind you.  I turned on him like a cat with a bucket of water dumped on him and told him anytime he was with me it was on Cherry Time, not Dad Time, and in my universe and in my car he'd damn well better be prompt and ready to go when I pull up, not lollygagging around.  He was very quiet and then sheepishly agreed with me.  It was great, I wish I'd had it recorded. 

[frenchtoast]

Thanks everyone for the warm wishes--makes my day!! 

 

And those dealing with family, all the best. It's never easy. Come and vent anytime.

[Love2dance]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY FRENCH TOAST!!!

 

HAPPY LATE BIRTHDAY GEEGOLLY

 

AND HAPPY EVERY BIRTHDAY MICKS!  (You need to tell us when it is, so we won't forget this year!)

DITTO!

[Missy Vixen]

Happy birthday to FrenchToast, GeeGolly, and Micks! I hope it was wonderful!

 

Ambien. Hmmm. So, there's a little-known side effect with Ambien, and I seem to be one of the few allegedly lucky ones that exhibit it.

 

Beware: TMI

 

I had to take an Ambien for a sleep study. I did not want to have that (typically pleasurable) side effect in front of the sleep study techs who were watching my room through a camera all night. One of the (female) techs assured me that it has happened in the lab more than once, and it wasn't a big deal. Embarrassing, but not a big deal.

 

Let's just say I won't be taking Ambien again...

[NikSac]

I mentioned somebody who posted here having adopted a cat formerly belonging to the Duggars.  I just remembered her name.  MrsJumbo.  Anybody know what happened to her, or if she posts here but on a different forum now.  I miss her.

 

I wasn't trying to be a stalker or anything, but I know there's a search feature here where you can look up a specific person/username. MrsJumbo still posts here, mostly on Downton Abbey it looks like.