Small Talk: The Prayer Closet

[GeeGolly]

Advice needed please.

 

Boss wants to change my position a bit. He wants to pair me up with a supervisor and have us split some tasks. The person is a very week supervisor. The person will continue to do some admin tasks that I won't be doing. I will receive a small increase in salary, yet no change in title (which I believe is because boss doesn't want to piss off other employees).

 

I'm bothered by this. Should I be?

[crazycatlady58]

Ok I am just back from allergy test. I had a reaction to diffrent things, dust, grass, trees, cockroaches, mold ( can we say almost everything?) the two that bother me are CATS, I am Not getting rid of My CATS and feathers. Here is the thing, I love my feather pillows. They are nice and squishy, I can ball them up and prop myself up in bed to read or put them under my lower back for extra support. Does anyone know of a pillow that will replace the feather pillows? The foam pillows are not as nice for me, they get hard and flat and I cannot flod or ball them up as I like. I will start the shots and drops next week but I know I should get rid or reduce all known allergies that I can now. Just not my cats.

[Almost 3000]

Ok I am just back from allergy test. I had a reaction to diffrent things, dust, grass, trees, cockroaches, mold ( can we say almost everything?) the two that bother me are CATS, I am Not getting rid of My CATS and feathers. Here is the thing, I love my feather pillows. They are nice and squishy, I can ball them up and prop myself up in bed to read or put them under my lower back for extra support. Does anyone know of a pillow that will replace the feather pillows? The foam pillows are not as nice for me, they get hard and flat and I cannot flod or ball them up as I like. I will start the shots and drops next week but I know I should get rid or reduce all known allergies that I can now. Just not my cats.

I had the same test results. I got a lot of relief from keeping my bedding really clean. Mainly by washing my beloved Ralph Lauren white goose down pillows and comforter with a bit of added bleach and fluffed up with tennis balls in the dryer. All my bedding is white so it to can be bleached. Its a dust mite thing. You can also buy mattress, comforter and pillow coverings that will keep the items dust and mite free but also protect you from the feathers. Cats, with I no longer have because it was a long time ago and I now only have a dog with hair not fur, were kept out of the bedroom. Air purifiers helped but I no longer use them. I also love to sleep with the windows open but I don't do it during spring. I mainly addressed the bedroom and it really helped me feel better all day.

[frenchtoast]

Advice needed please.

 

Boss wants to change my position a bit. He wants to pair me up with a supervisor and have us split some tasks. The person is a very week supervisor. The person will continue to do some admin tasks that I won't be doing. I will receive a small increase in salary, yet no change in title (which I believe is because boss doesn't want to piss off other employees).

 

I'm bothered by this. Should I be?

Yes. It sounds unfair and if they're trying to placate someone at your expense. 

[emma675]

 

Advice needed please.

    

    Boss wants to change my position a bit. He wants to pair me up with a supervisor and have us split some tasks. The person is a very week supervisor. The person will continue to do some admin tasks that I won't be doing. I will receive a small increase in salary, yet no change in title (which I believe is because boss doesn't want to piss off other employees).

    

    I'm bothered by this. Should I be?

Will this other person get a salary increase, too?

[kassygreene]

Advice needed please.

 

Boss wants to change my position a bit. He wants to pair me up with a supervisor and have us split some tasks. The person is a very week supervisor. The person will continue to do some admin tasks that I won't be doing. I will receive a small increase in salary, yet no change in title (which I believe is because boss doesn't want to piss off other employees).

 

I'm bothered by this. Should I be?

If you do it, set out your job tasks and performance metrics at the beginning, and get your boss to sign off on it (physically sign off), because this setup is a terrific way for a manager to get someone competent to a) keep doing all of (or all of the important bits of) their existing job, while also b) be responsible for completing all the tasks that belong to the weaker employee, who gets to keep drawing his salary without anything being expected of him.  Depends on the sincerity of your boss's intentions, of course, but in my bitter experience you are being put into a position to be used without any reward.  And if for any reason your boss moves on, if you don't have documentation you are up the creek, because it's extremely probable that you will be encouraged to prioritize the other guy's tasks ahead of your own, thereby downgrading your own performance because Things Will Not Get Done.

 

ETA: no change in title keeps you in the (presumably) lower salary scale.  How salaries and raises are calculated are a Dark Art (darker than Voldemort), and anything that can depress or defer someone's raise is Bonus for the manager, because raises are generally percentages, and the longer it's deferred, the less the long-term increase will be.  (Which is why companies prefer to give year-end bonuses instead of raises - raises are cumulative, and bonuses are gifts-so-don't-you-dare-be-ungrateful.)  (I can do management crap, but it does require a Silkwood shower at the end of the day.)

Edited April 1, 2016 by kassygreene

[GeeGolly]

The co-worker will not receive a pay increase. I will draw up a document explaining my position and have boss sign-off on it. I really feel not having a tile change does (at least) two things: 1) as Kassy mentioned, lower pay scale and 2) keeping other co-workers placated.

 

I have a strong, confident personality and this co-worker has the opposite. I feel the co-worker will benefit from the shared position in a way that feels very unequal. Part of me feels silly in wanting a title and the other part feels I deserve it, and the future benefits that come with it, as far as moving up or moving on.

 

And lastly, I'm at a loss as how to approach my boss about my concerns without sounding petty.  UGH!!

[Happyfatchick]

Dear Lord in heaven, I would have a heart attack myself if my father had a heart attack and I read about it on FB.

I have news. Not amazing wonderful news, but I'm not reporting a death either, so that's a win for me.

It comes with a story (I thought you'd never ask).

I told about taking the popout camper to Savannah last weekend. Our maiden voyage in our little metal tent. There was CRAP EVERYWHERE. The whole weekend was "scuze me...just let me squeeze by...sorry, could you hand me that____...". It was so stinking ridiculous, we laughed at ourselves all weekend. We had to just leave some stuff in the cab of the truck k and work from there. One night, when we laid down (lay down?), and of course, he was in the gray zone in .00013 seconds. I'm laying there waiting for sleep and my eyes adjusted to the dark. I must say, a little tiny space the size of my bathroom at home full of food, clothing and a dog carrier is pretty scary in the dark. I had 2 bags of food items hanging from the ceiling (the ceiling being 3" from my face). I said "Honey...I think we accidentally went to sleep in the utility closet".

Somewhere between that moment and this one exactly one week later, we've managed to buy a 30 foot travel trailer and a beast of a truck (Chevy 2500) to pull it with, map out 20 short trips, 5 longer trips, 3 Major trips, make reservations at the campground in Disney for December, gather up supplies to stock it with AND I did a movie seat job this week.

All in all, it's been a pretty productive week around here. (Dusting hands and drinking wine).

[Love2dance]

Welcome back, HAPPYFATCHICK! I've missed your stories. Can't wait to read the ones about all your future trips!

[Micks Picks]

I like  the My Pillow advertised on tv.  You really can wash and dry the easily and I got one regular size and one a little more stuffed for backrest.  When they get kind of flat you can shake them or just put in dryer for 10 minutes and they come back.  Plus they always have the 2 for 1 special going.  Good deal.  Best I've ever had.

[Happyfatchick]

I'm glad you reported that, Micks. I've wondered about those pillows!

[crazycatlady58]

Well I just ordered 2, almost had a panic attack spending 100 $ on 2 pillows. Oh well I can return them if I do not like them.

[frenchtoast]

UGH. It was near 70 on Thursday and it's supposed to snow tomorrow. Weather in New England, it kills me sometimes. It's why I always keep sweaters and short sleeve shirts on hand--you just never know what you're going to get!

[Readalot]

Hi friends. My eyes are so itchy and throat too. Allergies - no fun. I've been busy with college financial aid stuff. So happy that soon these college tasks we be over, FAFSA and CSS kicked my ass awhile back. Now I'm deep in the appeal process. There must be an error in the FAFSA formulas. What they say we can afford is literally impossible. So for the schools that don't do CSS having to gather all the supporting document is no fun. It's worse than a mortgage application process. But I know it's a good problem to have! Fall was the long application process, she applied to 9 schools. Winter we found out she got Early Admit to four schools, one is her dream school, the only one that has a major specific to meet the requirements for the PA masters program (she decided against med school and BSN (was accepted into 2 of these programs)). Then a long three months to be notified she was accepted into 1 of the remaining 5 schools. And finally the FA packages have been rolling in. - On another note I recently got the results from all my testing for Early Onset Alzheimer's. I was cleared for that (what a relief) but they found a bucketload of white lesions on the right side of my brain. The MRI radiologist report states I should be screened for MS and two other things. Not happy about that but I've know my brain has not been "working" correctly for awhile so that's validated. Waiting to see a neuro for next steps. I'm assuming a spinal tap? I hope you all have a plesant weekend!

[pippity j]

I am so happy that you are cleared for Alheimers.i also hope you get cleared for M.S.My youngest daughter has it and it is tough.She was actually fired from a job she held.She was a case worker at a half way house for male offenders.She was twice accused of being under the influence at work.This was before she was diagnosed.Even though she demanded that they test her (its not like they don't do pee tests there anyway) and when they said no she went on her own and got tested which both times came back clear.They fired her anyway still using that as a reason plus saying her personality wasn't the same.She fought it after being in touch with the Labour Board and Human rights and they had to offer her her job back and had to remove the accusations from her otherwise glowing performance review which was done only a month before this.She told them where to shove the job after making sure they would have to give her a good reference.She was lucky.A woman that was a supervisor when she was doing her on the job training way across the country had transferred out to the same city my daughter now lives in hired her.She told my daughter that when she saw her application she thought no it can't be the same person.She had heard the story of what had gone on through meetings but was fair enough to interview her.One of the added responsibilities my daughter was given was to represent her half way house at those same meetings where she would have to see her former boss.Her new boss thanked her former boss for not recognising a valuable employee and she told my daughter to come on say something to Miss Former Boss.My daughter said thank you for letting me see what its like to work for a decent company.Unfortunately she was diagnosed with MS a year and a half later and about a year after that she had to quit.This company was great.They modified her duties all they could but it got to the point where she felt her safety could be at risk.She is now on disability because her neurologist doesn't feel she should be working.She has the Relapsing type and now that they have finally found a good medication for her she is doing as well as she can.

 

A story about Early onset Alzheimers.I work in a long term care facility.They like to do the consistant staffing thing so I for the most part work with the same group of people.A couple of us had been noticing changes in a fellow worker.His work was not up to his normal standard and he seemed sort of distant.He asked me to help him with his flow sheets because no one ever showed him how to do them.He had been working with us for a few years and it is what you do each shift.I tried to show him and realised he was unable to follow.I went to two different supervisors I trusted and expressed concern.One said she felt he was just lazy and it was an act to just get out of work.I am a shop steward so I had a talk with my Union president and explained everything including his inability to operate our lifts safely and that a co worker checked the results he recorded of the diabetics blood sugar levels.(long story why but it wasn't because she was checking up on him at first she was looking for one she did in the machines memory and caught a mistake he made).I told her I wanted his rights protected but I had to consider the safety of our residents and wasn't sure what my approach should be.She called my Nurse Co ordinator and told her that these concerns were brought to her and asked her to ask my co worker for a medical evaluation.She ignored it and the one that discovered the blood sugar mistake and I got a talking to.Her worse than me because I will speak up for myself.I just said we are concerned for the safety of all and if he has any dementia starting I want him to get medical help.My friend was told that she was out of line and to mind her own business.I tried one more time after that to bring concerns to her.By this time people were not wanting to work with him because he was unable to handle his work load.I went back to the one supervisor and told her that we were now at a point where something had to be done.He had progressed to where it was getting too noticable to hide.She went to my boss and they pulled him off for medical evaluation.His wife ended up calling me to ask if he needed a Union rep would I help.I got her talking and found out that she had noticed things but out of fear embarrassment and not wanting to admit a problem was there she just tried to hide it.He was diagnosed with Early Alzheimers and at least is now on medication that for now is slowing his progression.Thankfully we pay into a fairly decent long term disability insurance because he has many years before he reaches Old Age Pension age.

 

Sorry I forgot to add the part where I wanted to strangle my boss.After my co worker was diagnosed and removed from duty one of the supervisors came to me and said guess what Mrs.Nurse Co ordinator said?I said what.She said first you have to promise not to say anything because she will know I said it.I agreed and she said that my boss said "I can't believe no one noticed anything."

Edited April 2, 2016 by chunky junky

[Happyfatchick]

Oh Chunky, That is so sad! A friend of mine from high school is about a year into diagnosis right now. I saw him the other day, and was startled at how much is getting past him now. He works for the water authority in our county, and also the funeral home during visitations at night. I know his position had to be changed at the water authority - he'd been there quite awhile and worked himself up pretty good. I think now he's just on ride-alongs basically. And of course he was at the funeral home where my mom was taken, and my heart just broke for him. Once, someone asked him what time my mom would be in place at the church. He fumbled around with times, and changed it, changed it again. I felt so sorry for him because I could clearly read on his face that he wasn't able to nail down the answer, and that he was AWARE that he couldn't. He eventually said 12 (the answer was 10). It is so incredibly heartbreaking. He's lucky that he has employers that know him and love him and are letting him coast.

I don't guess he's in much of a position to hurt anyone really - most of his customers are already dead.

I can't even believe I just said that.

[Readalot]

Chunky Junky, I'm glad your daughter ended her career on a high note, in a supportive job environment. IT's also good to hear she has found the medicine that helps her well. As far as your co-worker, what a blessing you were watching out for him. I hope he has an extremely slow progressions.

May there be medical breakthroughs for both diseases!

HFC, it must shocking to see your friend in this state since you have know him for most of your life. but what a gift to have employers that love him and will look out for him

I often wonder what people see or hear me do that they don't point out to me, either too polite or they want to protect me. My perception is that I feel on an hourly basis either im forgetting or in a brain fog or my speech doesn't make sense or some other weirdness. Part of me is relieved I'm close to getting a diagnosis because then I know what I'm up against and can create a game plan. Part of me is scared because then I will know what I'm up against.

[zoomama]

Part of me is relieved I'm close to getting a diagnosis because then I know what I'm up against and can create a game plan. Part of me is scared because then I will know what I'm up against.

 

 

that has to be so difficult!

[BrianJ62]

#Sad. A good friend of mine passed away a couple of days ago from a brain tumor, he was diagnosed back in July. We worked together as paramedics in the Gulf of Mexico on oil rigs. We then kinda followed each other around the globe in oil related jobs.

Edited April 3, 2016 by BrianJ62

[Mollie]

My perception is that I feel on an hourly basis either im forgetting or in a brain fog or my speech doesn't make sense or some other weirdness. Part of me is relieved I'm close to getting a diagnosis because then I know what I'm up against and can create a game plan. Part of me is scared because then I will know what I'm up against.

Just remember that doctors don't know everything.  Many times an Internet support group with other patients can help with information about new treatments and coping mechanisms.  As long as you can use the Internet, you can fight a good fight!

[Love2dance]

#Sad. A good friend of mine passed away a couple of days ago from a brain tumor, he was diagnosed back in July. We worked together as paramedics in the Gulf of Mexico on oil rigs. We then kinda followed each other around the globe in oil related jobs.

So sorry Brian. May your memories comfort you.

[Micks Picks]

Sorry Brian.  It surprises me how many people die of brain tumors.  Very very sad.

[lookeyloo]

#Sad. A good friend of mine passed away a couple of days ago from a brain tumor, he was diagnosed back in July. We worked together as paramedics in the Gulf of Mexico on oil rigs. We then kinda followed each other around the globe in oil related jobs.

So Sorry Brian.  My ex also passed from a brain tumor.   We hear more and more of this nowadays.  

[BrianJ62]

So Sorry Brian. My ex also passed from a brain tumor. We hear more and more of this nowadays.

A good chance my friend was affected by radiation while working in Kazakhstan. Thank you all for the kind words.

Edited April 3, 2016 by BrianJ62

[Readalot]

Oh Brian I'm sorry to hear about your good friend. I hope he had a peaceful end of life.

Mollie, thank you for the advice and encouragement! The past two years I've been navigating my daughters diagnosis of genetic and chronic conditions. advocating for her with information Ive learned from support groups. It has have been priceless, I really don't know where she'd be if I didn't have online support!

[Barb23]

Brian, so sorry to hear about your friend. You're in my thoughts & prayers.

[GeeGolly]

So sorry for the loss of your friend Brian. 

[crazycatlady58]

Brian my thoughts are with you and your friends family.

[emma675]

Brian, so sorry for the loss of your friend.

 

I may or may not have just done my nails in my office at work. In my defense, I'm on a boring conference call and I have my portable fan going to dispel the fumes. With my luck, I'll somehow set off the fire alarm.

[lookeyloo]

We are at turner field for opening day for the braves. Last season here. New stadium will be closer to us but this one is pretty nice.

[zoomama]

watching opening day for the Angels right now!!!

[Readalot]

We are at turner field for opening day for the braves. Last season here. New stadium will be closer to us but this one is pretty nice.

wow I swear they just got a new stadium. I'm old lol. I hope you had a great time! What is going to happen to this stadium? We stopped going to Opening Days/Nights. It was more of a reason to party, not a sacred baseball day. Too many drunks and swearing that we didn't wabt around the kids.

watching opening day for the Angels right now!!!

. I hope they come from behind and win! I grew up in LA and still cheer them and the Dodgers, but dang did you see their game vs the Padres? They whipped them 15-0! Worse opening day in the history of MLB!

[BrianJ62]

#GoKCRoyals. Spending a few days helping my sister take care of my BIL, while she gets a few things done.

[lookeyloo]

wow I swear they just got a new stadium. I'm old lol. I hope you had a great time! What is going to happen to this stadium? We stopped going to Opening Days/Nights. It was more of a reason to party, not a sacred baseball day. Too many drunks and swearing that we didn't wabt around the kids. . I hope they come from behind and win! I grew up in LA and still cheer them and the Dodgers, but dang did you see their game vs the Padres? They whipped them 15-0! Worse opening day in the history of MLB!

We had none of what you describe at this game. It was a beautiful day. We are new to the area. Seemed family oriented to us - it was an afternoon game and maybe an anomaly but great fun. This stadium will be torn down from what we hear and land taken over by one of the universities. Sad. It is a nice stadium. New one going up in Cobb county which will be closer to us. And they lost in extra innings. But oh well. We had fun.

[Readalot]

We had none of what you describe at this game. It was a beautiful day. We are new to the area. Seemed family oriented to us - it was an afternoon game and maybe an anomaly but great fun. This stadium will be torn down from what we hear and land taken over by one of the universities. Sad. It is a nice stadium. New one going up in Cobb county which will be closer to us. And they lost in extra innings. But oh well. We had fun.

as we say it extra innings mean free baseball! Glad you had a good time. We love baseball, going to games is one of our favorite family activities. We are going to our first game this season next week.

[JayInChicago]

I gotta admit something.

I have watched less than five minutes of any Duggars show. I watched one bit of one of the earliest specials that is on YouTube.

But ever since Josh gate 1 dropped, I have been reading here daily. I like it because despite the Duggars, you all seem super nice.

[Porkchop]

Me too! I want to know you all better ... I want you to know me ... so I can become part of the lovely friendships I see here. Don't let the lack of Duggar news keep you away from this thread ... it's the best thing I've ever found on the internet!

[Jynnan tonnix]

Count me in to that club! I still have not actually watched any Duggar show beyond the occasional clip of something or another linked here, but I just love reading this site... So many funny, caring, snarky and literate people!

[CherryMalotte]

Very sorry for your loss Brian.

 

I've been here, it's just been a fast paced couple of weeks, with my mom passing away this morning.  It's a relief really, she was suffering horribly on Monday - she had responded really well to chemo, it was just a bunch of other factors that led to her being readmitted to the hospital and then to hospice.  Thank heavens for hospice workers, they are a wonder.  I think because of all the prior few months of full tilt boogie horror show that was going on between her and my dad I have been way more prepped for this and have reached a calmer place now, even though this morning was emotional.  

 

She wasn't warm and fuzzy and disliked affection, with no hugs and no 'I love you's' from her lips, even to her only grandchild.  She was aggravating in the extreme, driving me to one hundred and one levels of crazy, could be shockingly intolerant of people, and demanding perfection of behavior from my highly imperfect self.  Even to the last breath she was private, and I will never know the answers to many questions I had, like where is the safety deposit box key, and why did you put up with my father's bullshit for all these years.  She was a wealth of information, knowing just the right latin word to fill in a crossword, the name of some obscure poet, and could remember all the actors in some movie serial she saw at the theatre in the early 50's.  Her favorite humor included Fawlty Towers and screwball comedies, and she would giggle when I would repeat Bill Maher dialogues to her.  She taught me me love of history and cemeteries and figure skating.  She knew where battles of the civil war occuried, and the generals involved.  She could embroider and sew and alter clothing.  She would bake frequently and bring cookies to the house, and once a year when my birthday came around I got whatever kind of cake I wanted.  She loved cats, and would bring catnip over to her grandkitties as often as she could find it growing wild. As angry as I am with her right now for not taking care of herself and leaving me with my father to 'supervise' shall we say, I'm also grateful she had me and I will miss her terribly.        

[bigskygirl]

I am so sorry for your loss Cherry Malotte. {{{HUGS}}}

[Readalot]

Oh Cherry please accept my condolences and thank you for sharing her with us. Take care of yourself.

[zoomama]

Cherry Malotte, i am sorry for your loss. i understand the feeling of relief, although i only had my mom sick for less than a week before she went.  she was also not touchy-feely or verbally expressive. one thing i am grateful for is that she did tell me she loved me the night before she went. that was a first, in my memory, and stays with me today, 17 years later. may you have special moment with her in your memory to recall when you need a moment with her.

[Ownedbydogs]

I am sorry for your loss Cherry.

[frenchtoast]

My deepest condolences on your loss, Cherry. 

[lookeyloo]

Cherry - sending condolences - I know this is a hard time - Talk to us when you need to.

[crazycatlady58]

Cherry, I am sorry for your loss. Sometimes I think a loss is harder when you have a difficult relationship with a parent you keep on thinking how it could have been. My thoughts are with you.

[Missy Vixen]

Cherry Malotte and Brian, I am so sorry for your losses. And I hope the ability to talk about your loved ones here is a comfort during such a sad time.

[pinkie]

Sympathetic ((hugs)) to Cherry Malotte and Brian.

[GeeGolly]

So, so very sorry for the loss of your mom Cherry.

[Love2dance]

CHERRY MALOTTE, so very sorry about your loss. My thoughts are with you.