Bethenny Frankel: Skinny Girl

[WireWrap]

I am re watching the first episode of BEA a Season 2, several interesting things pop out. First, Bethenny has a friend!! Lauren...the blonde with the baby. Second, Jason says himself that he feels pressure and guilt from his parents that they don't get to see Bryn enough (and as their only surviving child, that he needs to be the perfect son) Third, it was established by Bethenny on several occasions that Jason sees his parents every 2-3 weeks, this was said in front of Jason and his parents. Four, Jason's mom was fretting that Baby Bryn didn't even know who they were and Bethenny says "you just saw her last weekend!" And five, when discussing how much the grand Hoppy's want Bryn access, mama Hoppy starts clapping "every week!".

This is also the episode where grandpa Hoppy starts talking about Bryn coming yo spend the summers with them, and mama Hoppy once again drops the idea that Bryn come visit them "every week".

When I had our son, my in-laws were the same way, they felt we should drive 2 hours each way to see them every weekend and I did not panic nor did I get defensive, I made a compromise that worked for all of us, every other weekend at best. We then cut it back to once a month when he got older and I regret nothing. My son has wonderful memories of the time we all spent together. Just a side note, my MIL and I did not get along at all. Bottom line, I respected and loved my husband to do this for him and for our family. When my son/DIL had their daughter, I also started talking about future overnights when she got older and my DIL never felt threatened by that because she knew that was down the road, not tomorrow. It is one of the joys of being a grandparent, talking about spending time with your grandchildren as they grow up.   JMO

[sleekandchic]

Compromise isnt in Bethenny's vocabulary. She wants what she wants until she doesn't want it anymore.

IMO, it's just a matter of time before Bryn pisses off her mother, leading to history repeating itself. Lather, rinse, repeat.

[Celia Rubenstein]

Jason doesn't need and will never go directly to the press, it would be foolish and dumb, total opposite to the nice polish image he has worked so hard to portray.

Why would he go to give the press and give a direct statement when he can continue doing what he has done for years with no problems at all, Jason and/or his team just call Radar and give then all kinds of juicy information about Bethenny under the disguise of "inside sources" and voila, deed done.

A simple Google search about Bethenny's divorce for the last three years would give plenty of damning ROL articles against Bethenny most of them with information provided by "Inside sources" and 99% with information against Bethenny, it is quite simple to figure out who the inside sources are.

I guess in a nutshell that is what bothers me the most about Jason, his desire to have his cake and eat it too, if you have already decided that being a gold digger is the way to go, just go about it , instead he wants to pretend that this is about the daughter when that was decided more than a year ago. He acts like an asshole, embarrasses himself by acting like an asshole, requests money for his golfing trips, even for his clothes, nanny, housecleaner , etc, etc, but yet we are all supposed to think that he is the outstanding character that he played in TV?

Fuck that! The Jason we saw on TV IMO was nothing but a very crafted and smartly portrayed character who have a goal in mind and came into this marriage with a clear purpose and scored it big, which is fine, kudos to him for his hustle, just don't pretend that after all that has transpire of his shaddy behavior (made clear by a judge ruling to dismiss a trust created by him) that he gets any benefit of the doubt, a guy who creates a trust to clearly benefit personally from it and who uses his own mother to notarized a trust that she should never have does not deserve any benefit of the doubt, his agenda is clear as the day is long so I will not change my opinion about him being a shady, vicious, gold digging , malicious and vindictive POS who doesn't deseve a penny from Bethenny, (but most likely will get a small fortune )

Bethenny might be an asshole herself, which she had never hidden, she might be neurotic and OCD which she is the first to admit, but she has busted her ass working like a lunatic to made her own fortune, Jason? Jason is lucky that Bethenny was in such a needy state and fall for his hustle, Jason IMO is nothing else but the refined version of a hustler, scam artist who will be rewarded with millions for merely two years of his life yet he is the outstanding guy in shining armor? LOL

Jason is the kind of hustler our grannies warned us against, smooth but letal.

 

Can I get an Amen!   You win the internet today, Leroux.  Congratulations!

 

I totally agree that Jason has been leaking things to the press to bash Bethenny.  He is no where near the sweet innocent guy who cares too much about his daughter to do such things that he is trying to sucker people into believing he is.  That guy is as phony and devious as he can be.

 

The thing that always surprised me was that Bethenny fell for it.  But Jason was a really skilled manipulator.  He knew just what to say to draw Bethenny in and win her trust.  He couldn't get her pregnant fast enough.  He was anything but a "sperm donor." And getting married was not a "business decision" for her.  Jason was the one who insisted on getting married.  He used the whole idea of "family" to seal the deal.  Little did Bethenny know Jason's idea of family was much more about him and his parents and the baby than it was about them as a couple with their daughter.  I wonder if Bethenny would have gone anywhere near him if she had known how the Hoppys were going beg for so much time together, and that Jason would not support her need for more space and privacy and time for just the three of them.  I think this issue, along with how low Jason was willing to sink to get his way, is what really led to their marriage failing.  I think she finally started to see Jason for what he was when he pulled that "you're not normal" crap.   It was all downhill from there.  No compromise from Beth could have saved them after the way Jason treated her. 

 

When my son/DIL had their daughter, I also started talking about future overnights when she got older and my DIL never felt threatened by that because she knew that was down the road, not tomorrow.

 

 

Grandma Hoppy wasn't just talking about overnights when Bryn got older.  She was talking about Bryn spending the summers with them.  There is a huge difference.  That's just beyond presumptuous.  I'd have brushed her ass back fast, too. 

[BlackMamba]

So that makes 3 WWHLs for Bethenny and we're only 8 episodes in. Jeez wiz Bravo must be sweating seeing that 1.089 Beth-centric episode from last week's they ended up showing a sit down with her asking questions to her BFF Andy from her second WWHL appearance.

Edited May 27, 2015 by BlackMamba

[shoegal]

When I had our son, my in-laws were the same way, they felt we should drive 2 hours each way to see them every weekend and I did not panic nor did I get defensive, I made a compromise that worked for all of us, every other weekend at best. We then cut it back to once a month when he got older and I regret nothing. My son has wonderful memories of the time we all spent together. Just a side note, my MIL and I did not get along at all. Bottom line, I respected and loved my husband to do this for him and for our family. When my son/DIL had their daughter, I also started talking about future overnights when she got older and my DIL never felt threatened by that because she knew that was down the road, not tomorrow. It is one of the joys of being a grandparent, talking about spending time with your grandchildren as they grow up. JMO

I see my in-laws once a year, and my family 1-2 times a year. I would never agree to every weekend or every other weekend. I could possibly agree to once a month, for an afternoon or day visit (no weekend, no way) but that is seriously pushing it. Maybe every other month! My husband and I both love our parents and each other's parents dearly, but we have our own life and our own family. Our parents would of course love to see us more, but I love my husband enough to not force him to spend his weekends with my mother and vice versa. It's my responsibility to draw the boundaries for my family and his responsibility for his family. While Jason tried to convince Bethenny that it is "normal" to see your parents as often as he wanted, that was his version of normal. I don't think Jason ever saw Bethenny and Bryn as his primary family without his parents. Grandparents are great, but they are not a part of the primary family. I think Jason failed in putting his wife and family first, and Bethenny had every right to want a family and life of her own without having to include the Hoppy's at every turn.

Edited May 27, 2015 by shoegal

[missy jo]

biak biak Bless your heart! You called Bethenny young!

 

 

It was a typo!

 

Beth really dug those pigs in a blanket. Maybe she doesn't keep that kind of food in her house?

 

 

I doubt she's dug into anything non-vegan or with gluten or carbs in eons. Actually, that was one of the divorce issues, right? She wanted to dictate Bryn's diet and what food she could have on visitations with Jason?

Edited May 27, 2015 by missy jo

[shoegal]

Compromise isnt in Bethenny's vocabulary. She wants what she wants until she doesn't want it anymore.

It's interesting, I am re watching BEA, during a discussion about how often they need to see the Hoppy grandparents, Jason wants to go for the weekend (2 weeks after the last visit) and Bethenny is saying they can see them more often but it doesn't have to be a whole weekend thing, it could be a day visit or something and Jason's response is that he will just take Bryn for the weekend without Bethenny.

Jason's words verbatim to Bethenny "You need to get over this. I am not wrong."

It doesn't seem like Bethenny was the one unwilling to compromise.

[sleekandchic]

It's interesting, I am re watching BEA, during a discussion about how often they need to see the Hoppy grandparents, Jason wants to go for the weekend (2 weeks after the last visit) and Bethenny is saying they can see them more often but it doesn't have to be a whole weekend thing, it could be a day visit or something and Jason's response is that he will just take Bryn for the weekend without Bethenny.

Jason's words verbatim to Bethenny "You need to get over this. I am not wrong."

It doesn't seem like Bethenny was the one unwilling to compromise.

Jason was no saint.

I don't think they should have married at all, but even if they hadnt, once their child was born, the couple was tied together for 18 years, or, even, life. Discussion and legitimate, good-faith compromise are the only ways to survive and thrive in that situation, imo.

Tonight Bethenny said she has custody of Bryn every other weekend, so I guess everybody's happy now.

[Celia Rubenstein]

It's interesting, I am re watching BEA, during a discussion about how often they need to see the Hoppy grandparents, Jason wants to go for the weekend (2 weeks after the last visit) and Bethenny is saying they can see them more often but it doesn't have to be a whole weekend thing, it could be a day visit or something and Jason's response is that he will just take Bryn for the weekend without Bethenny.

Jason's words verbatim to Bethenny "You need to get over this. I am not wrong."

It doesn't seem like Bethenny was the one unwilling to compromise.

 

I remember that nonsense from Jason about leaving Bethenny at home so he could go to his parents for the whole weekend.   That was when I realized that he was super-enmeshed with his parents in an unhealthy way, and started to wonder if this was him trying to make up for his brother being gone.  I still can't think of any other reason he would come up with such a dumb ass proposition ... it had to be based on some deep-seated family problem.  How could he possibly think leaving Bethenny home was a solution to the problem they were trying to deal with?  

 

But I had completely forgot about this:

 

Jason's words verbatim to Bethenny "You need to get over this. I am not wrong."

 

Whadda pizza shit that guy is ... SMH.

 

Thanks for the posts, by the way, Shoegal.  It is nice of you to take one for the team and watch all that stuff and remind everyone what really happened.  I dread your next Jason revelation, though. lol.  I had actually forgot just how rotten he really was.

[breezy424]

I see my in-laws once a year, and my family 1-2 times a year. I would never agree to every weekend or every other weekend. I could possibly agree to once a month, for an afternoon or day visit (no weekend, no way) but that is seriously pushing it. Maybe every other month! My husband and I both love our parents and each other's parents dearly, but we have our own life and our own family. Our parents would of course love to see us more, but I love my husband enough to not force him to spend his weekends with my mother and vice versa. It's my responsibility to draw the boundaries for my family and his responsibility for his family. While Jason tried to convince Bethenny that it is "normal" to see your parents as often as he wanted, that was his version of normal. I don't think Jason ever saw Bethenny and Bryn as his primary family without his parents. Grandparents are great, but they are not a part of the primary family. I think Jason failed in putting his wife and family first, and Bethenny had every right to want a family and life of her own without having to include the Hoppy's at every turn.

So what happens when your kids grow up and have their own family?

[shoegal]

So what happens when your kids grow up and have their own family?

I will be traveling with hubby, so, like... FaceTime?

Edited May 27, 2015 by shoegal

[sleekandchic]

Really interesting (2010) article about Beth and her past from People: http://www.people.com/people/archive/article/0,,20400758,00.html

So Bethenny was not hesitant to call 911 when she had to. Once again it makes me wonder why she did not call police when the stepfather allegedly attacked the mom and B when she was 19. I think they were moving out that day?

I also note her quote:

He's my anchor, she says of Hoppy. I fell in love with a regular guy with a regular salary. He taught me that being taken care of was emotional and not financial.

It's useful to me to see how things were in real time, rather how they are being rewritten in the present. Thanks for the link. Edited May 27, 2015 by sleekandchic

[breezy424]

Even more puzzling is that she once again describes her stepfather hitting her mother with the phone but not a shred of emotion for the person being hit.  According to Beth, "John is a good person."

[Rhetorica]

Even more puzzling is that she once again describes her stepfather hitting her mother with the phone but not a shred of emotion for the person being hit. According to Beth, "John is a good person."

It's not puzzling to me. As I said before somewhere, I would have been giddy if I saw someone hitting my mother. If you're abused, you don't ever strike back. You just cower because if you even raise your hands in defense, that's "asking for it!" Bethenny, at that age, was programmed. She shouldn't be today, with all the counseling. She needs to exorcise her own demons.

[breezy424]

It's not puzzling to me. As I said before somewhere, I would have been giddy if I saw someone hitting my mother. If you're abused, you don't ever strike back. You just cower because if you even raise your hands in defense, that's "asking for it!" Bethenny, at that age, was programmed. She shouldn't be today, with all the counseling. She needs to exorcise her own demons.

And that's my point.  She shouldn't be programmed today.  She does need to exorcise her own demons but I don't think she ever will.  Her 'childhood' is her story.  If she comes to terms with that, she would have to take a good look at the person she is.  She doesn't want to do that.  Life is easier to deal with if she has that crutch.  She doesn't want 'happiness'.  Even in blog this week, she says:  I've been royally screwed over in relationships, but no one could have told me different.  She can't (or doesn't want to) see the forest for the trees.

[Celia Rubenstein]

Even more puzzling is that she once again describes her stepfather hitting her mother with the phone but not a shred of emotion for the person being hit.  

 

The subject of the session was getting in touch with how she felt when she saw what she did.  Bethenny was five years old when this phone thing happened.  I think she was too busy being terrified to experience much empathy for her mother. So I am not surprised when the doctor forced her to talk about her feelings, what her mother went through was not her focus.  She was supposed to be the focus.  If she had gone off making it about her mother in any way, I think the doctor would have steered her back, actually.  

[breezy424]

The subject of the session was getting in touch with how she felt when she saw what she did.  Bethenny was five years old when this phone thing happened.  I think she was too busy being terrified to experience much empathy for her mother. So I am not surprised when the doctor forced her to talk about her feelings, what her mother went through was not her focus.  She was supposed to be the focus.  If she had gone off making it about her mother in any way, I think the doctor would have steered her back, actually.  

 

The only problem that with every recounting of her childhood traumas, she has never acknowledged that her mother was a domestic abuse victim.   Even with her reconnection with John, she says he was a good person.  No mention of her mother's abuse.  She never questions his beating of her mother. 

[Celia Rubenstein]

I think part of why Bethenny may have lost empathy for her mom is that for a long time she was probably very angry at her mother for sticking with John for as long as she did.  She has mentioned that she used to try to convince her mother to leave him but she wouldn't do it.  Not only that - Bernadette would take a beating then Bethenny would hear her the next day having sex with John.  Her sympathy for her mother was probably diminished because of this.  Her mother kept choosing to stay in the situation.  She had the means to leave.  Plus every time Bernadette got beat up and chose to stay in the situation, she also kept Bethenny stuck in the situation, too.  I can understand her resenting this.  I am not surprised she doesn't seem to express a lot of empathy for the woman who kept her in that situation for so long.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[MissMel]

It could also be that her stepfather abused her mother. Her mother abused her. She was too little to fight back on her own. Even though wrong, in some way she took strength from her mother getting beat. Because she couldn't do it but he could. And he did.

This does not make for a healthy outcome. It is understandable to an extent though. To me, anyway. Bethany or any other child experiencing a similar situation. I can see how it makes sense. In a sad, sick way. Just a thought.

[Alonzo Mosely FBI]

I always believed the change in her net worth from Brynns conception to the Pre nup was her fathers estate. His Pacific Palisades house sold a while after he died.

Re Jason, I see nothing wrong with grandparents getting overjoyed with a grand child finally and going over the top with wanting to see her and spoil her. That's status quo in my neck of the woods.

[ryebread]

Re Jason, I see nothing wrong with grandparents getting overjoyed with a grand child finally and going over the top with wanting to see her and spoil

her. That's status quo in my neck of the woods.

 

As newlyweds, we'd walk into my parent's home and be practically tackled by them they were so excited to see us. And we saw them 1 - 2 times a week. Once we had our son, though, we'd walk in and arms were stretched for the baby, "Gimme, gimme, gimme."  We had suddenly become invisible, chopped liver. LOL.  This didn't bother us one bit. However, I imagine it would others.  People, families, experiences are different.  I wouldn't change ours for the world but I understand how my type of family would feel suffocating to someone else. 

 

If my husband had come from a different background, (thankfully, he didn't) it would have taken time for him to adjust and for us to learn compromise. Beth and Jason didn't bother to work out a compromise. He was an ass for digging his heels in so soon and so was she.  I think they were a perfect example of an older couple who were set in their ways.

[zoeysmom]

The arrangement that Jason wanted was to visit his parents once a month in PA, and his parents would visit them in NYC once a month. So it wasn't visits with the in laws every weekend, it was every other weekend. The episode that Jason lays this out is BEA, Season 2, episode 2 called "There is no normal". It also features the scene where Jason throws it in Bethenny's face that she's damaged and not normal. Which is exactly the episode I realized that he is a gigantic asshole.

The episode I realized his parents were creepy featured a scene in the Hoppy kitchen where the grandparents start telling Bethenny that Bryn will be spending her summers with them in PA when she gets older. I will have to research what episode that one was and revisit.

Thanks for the research-I never really thought that Jason wanted to go to PA every weekend.  Since Bethenny does her best to remind the world every week how awful her childhood is I find it odd when the same is presented back to her she falls apart.  She does the same thing when someone brings up the divorce-she talks bout how awful the split custody is and cries at the drop of a hat and then gets mad when someone asks her how it is going.

 

As one of  the parents of children who let our  children go out of the country with their grandparents in the summer I don't really see a problem with kids spending time with the grandparents over the summer.  My husband and I did not have jobs that lined up with a traditional school schedule so spending time with the folks gave the kids a great holiday and gave us a little alone time.  It does necessarily mean the entire summer. Since none of it came to fruition I will give the Hoppys a pass for suggesting it.  Something tells me Bethenny would have no trouble sending Bryn to a good summer camp.  If it bothered Bryn she could always tell her parents she didn't want to go.

So in tonight's episode, The Cavi-Art of War, 5/26/15, Bethenny told Carole that Bryn "is having a hard time right now."

Very sad; I wonder what she's referring to. I dont believe she simply means the breakup/separate living arrangements.

Shame on Bethenny -she is not suppose to discuss the child.  I expect Jason's counsel to file some sort of motion.  Jason (and the court agreed) does not want the child being part of the show.  Fine to discuss when she sees her but not how she feels.

[misschung]

I think the problem with the Hoppy elders is that Bethenny felt that she wanted to create separate memories with just Jason, Bryn and herself.  The Hoppy's, including Jason, wanted to do everything together.  She told them that as soon as Bryn rolled over for the first time, Jason called his mother before they even had a chance to experience the moment together as a family.  My mom and my grandmother were very close, so I grew up very much in the same frame of mind.  Extended family for some is almost the same as immediate family.  That's fine, but it's not for everyone. 

 

It's funny, because I remember during Season 3 of RHNY, Teresa Giudice was the guest blogger and she totally had Jason's number from the get-go, oddly enough!  She completely saw him for the opportunist that he was.  Specifically, she discusses the part of the show when Jason is angry that the press got wind of Bethenny's pregnancy before he had the chance to tell his parents.  She said something to the effect of "maybe you should think twice before knocking up someone in the spotlight."  Crass, but I have to agree.  Jason seemed like he wanted both words exclusively - both Bethenny's fame and the small-town sensibility to which he is accustomed.  But that's simply not possible, and I think that he took out a lot of that frustration on Bethenny. 

[Rhetorica]

And that's my point. She shouldn't be programmed today. She does need to exorcise her own demons but I don't think she ever will. Her 'childhood' is her story. If she comes to terms with that, she would have to take a good look at the person she is. She doesn't want to do that. Life is easier to deal with if she has that crutch. She doesn't want 'happiness'. Even in blog this week, she says: I've been royally screwed over in relationships, but no one could have told me different. She can't (or doesn't want to) see the forest for the trees.

I see. I thought you meant, since she was reflecting on her childhood feelings, you meant as a girl. I still see no reason for her to have any warm feelings for her mom at the present.

Edited May 27, 2015 by Rhetorica

[zoeysmom]

I think the problem with the Hoppy elders is that Bethenny felt that she wanted to create separate memories with just Jason, Bryn and herself.  The Hoppy's, including Jason, wanted to do everything together.  She told them that as soon as Bryn rolled over for the first time, Jason called his mother before they even had a chance to experience the moment together as a family.  My mom and my grandmother were very close, so I grew up very much in the same frame of mind.  Extended family for some is almost the same as immediate family.  That's fine, but it's not for everyone. 

 

It's funny, because I remember during Season 3 of RHNY, Teresa Giudice was the guest blogger and she totally had Jason's number from the get-go, oddly enough!  She completely saw him for the opportunist that he was.  Specifically, she discusses the part of the show when Jason is angry that the press got wind of Bethenny's pregnancy before he had the chance to tell his parents.  She said something to the effect of "maybe you should think twice before knocking up someone in the spotlight."  Crass, but I have to agree.  Jason seemed like he wanted both words exclusively - both Bethenny's fame and the small-town sensibility to which he is accustomed.  But that's simply not possible, and I think that he took out a lot of that frustration on Bethenny. 

I wonder how long a couple experiences the moment of the child rolling over?  Is it a dinner out, a rush to get the camera to record it.  I get what Bethenny is saying and it was Jason nature to share it with family and friends and Bethenny's nature to get in on camera for a reality show.  So I don't know what is worse, telling the grandparents without the other parent's permission or making the act of telling the grandparents in complaint form part of a reality show?

 

Great recall with the Bethenny/Teresa blogs.  I don't understand why one would share with production/camera crew/assistant she was pregnant but wanted to wait to tell the in-laws.  There are some things that make no sense with these two.  At the time Bethenny was the pesky one with the press and constant PR releases and so when this got out it was so not a surprise.

[zoeysmom]

I see. I thought you meant, since she was reflecting on her childhood feelings, you meant as a girl. I still see no reason for her to have any warm feelings for her mom at the present.

I understand her disliking her mom but I get creeped out that Bethenny has zero empathy for a victim of domestic violence or a mentally ill family member.  Very unsettling about how it was just all about how she felt watching the beatings and the attempted suicide. To me, that is what she should be exploring in therapy.  One never knows when they or their child may be the victim of a violent act or becomes mentally ill. 

[Rhetorica]

I understand her disliking her mom but I get creeped out that Bethenny has zero empathy for a victim of domestic violence or a mentally ill family member. Very unsettling about how it was just all about how she felt watching the beatings and the attempted suicide. To me, that is what she should be exploring in therapy. One never knows when they or their child may be the victim of a violent act or becomes mentally ill.

I don't know if I've seen enough of Bethenny to respond to this, but of course I will;) My experience is that victims are some of the most supportive of the mentally ill and abused. I've never seen her talk show. Did she ever champion anything worthy like this or was it all fluff?

[ryebread]

I don't know if I've seen enough of Bethenny to respond to this, but of course I will;) My experience is that victims are some of the most supportive of the mentally ill and abused. I've never seen her talk show. Did she ever champion anything worthy like this or was it all fluff?

 

Fluff.  Here's what I remember:  A naked chef, how to exfoliate in the shower, a lesson in twerking, a 14k vibrator and Bethenny eating a plate of pasta off Coco's ass.

[Rhetorica]

Fluff. Here's what I remember: A naked chef, how to exfoliate in the shower, a lesson in twerking, a 14k vibrator and Bethenny eating a plate of pasta off Coco's ass.

So just a normal day in the lives of the rich and famous...

[ryebread]

So just a normal day in the lives of the rich and famous...

Her talk show was so bad.  Unless you were snarking about it, then there were endless things to talk about.

 

Last night on WWHL Beth and Andy were talking about HWs that you love to hate and those that you hate to hate.  I don't 'hate' any of them but when Bethenny was on the top of my love to hate list, someone asked me why I even bothered watching her.  And last night, she answered that question for me.

 

I love to hate Bethenny and Heather.  And Carole.  Watching them be whiny, bossy and precious is hilarious to me.  I love to hate them for those reasons.  They entertain me.

 

Now Kim Richards, I can't even.  I hate to hate her.  It's no fun so I don't watch, don't read, don't participate.  There's no entertainment.  It's 100% pain.  Even though the above mentioned annoy me with their 'quirks', their idiocy is fun to watch and comment on.

[Padma]

I'm one who thought Bethenny was the unreasonable one re: the Hoppys. Jason was willing to take Brynn to visit one weekend a month and Bethenny didn't have to go with them if she didn't want to. (I'm sure Jason and his family and friends would even enjoy some -relaxing- visiting time rather than her hyper, judgmental vibe. It was so clear when she met his friends that she looked down on them, the middle class grandparents, and everything Hazelton. Seriously, it would be a more pleasant weekend without her.)

 

As much as Bethenny complained about life with Jason, you'd think she'd also enjoy a weekend once a month to get together with friends (if she has any), pursue hobbies (if she has any), or just relax at home (if she can).

 

The other weekend a month, the Hoppys were willing to drive into NYC themselves and stay in a hotel. Again, very low stress arrangement for Bethenny (my in-laws came for six months every year and lived with us. No relatives ever stayed nearby--I think doing that, and being apparently very happy to do it, is wonderful! If I had B's money, I would happily pay for them to stay in a nearby hotel every weekend--again, so little stress for her!

 

But she makes a big deal of everything that isn't EXACTLY done the way she wants. So tiring.

 

Also, as for Jason being the bad guy for saying she was "damaged", how many times did we see her say this same thing about herself? But of course, it's always okay whatever Bethenny says, but if someone agrees with her (even empathetically, as I think he was trying to say, "I understand you didn't have a normal upbringing--as you always say, 'wolves' and all--so this family stuff is harder for you than it would be for many"), then he's the bad guy.

 

I liked her on RHoNY but when she got to produce her own show, edit and control the image of herself and everyone else, including the Hoppys, I saw what an unpleasant, narcissistic control freak she was. I'm glad Jason fought for joint custody because Brynn will be better off with more time in Hazelton, imo.

[Otherkate]

She's looking at this situation as though she were a child. She needs therapy to give her an adult frame of mind to look at this.

 

I think you hit the nail on the head. She's looking at it as though she were a child because she's still refusing to ACTUALLY really look at it. I can't stand her therapist, but that is part of what he was trying to get to - at some point she decided that this, this exact thing was her story and she keeps regurgitating it without much thought. It's actually more complicated and layered, but she refuses to look. I think it's a defense mechanism to completely write off her mother and blame her for everything with no empathy at all. I think part of her is probably afraid that if she lets go of that - the thing she's so desperately holding onto - she will get hurt again. Subconsciously, I think she thinks if she shows her mother the slightest bit of empathy and is STILL rejected, she doesn't think she can take it. And so she holds on to it. She doesn't realize that thing she's holding onto is the albatross that will sink her. I hope she gets some good therapy.

[ihartcoffee]

I'm one who thought Bethenny was the unreasonable one re: the Hoppys. Jason was willing to take Brynn to visit one weekend a month and Bethenny didn't have to go with them if she didn't want to. (I'm sure Jason and his family and friends would even enjoy some -relaxing- visiting time rather than her hyper, judgmental vibe. It was so clear when she met his friends that she looked down on them, the middle class grandparents, and everything Hazelton. Seriously, it would be a more pleasant weekend without her.)

 

As much as Bethenny complained about life with Jason, you'd think she'd also enjoy a weekend once a month to get together with friends (if she has any), pursue hobbies (if she has any), or just relax at home (if she can).

 

The other weekend a month, the Hoppys were willing to drive into NYC themselves and stay in a hotel. Again, very low stress arrangement for Bethenny (my in-laws came for six months every year and lived with us. No relatives ever stayed nearby--I think doing that, and being apparently very happy to do it, is wonderful! If I had B's money, I would happily pay for them to stay in a nearby hotel every weekend--again, so little stress for her!

 

But she makes a big deal of everything that isn't EXACTLY done the way she wants. So tiring.

 

Also, as for Jason being the bad guy for saying she was "damaged", how many times did we see her say this same thing about herself? But of course, it's always okay whatever Bethenny says, but if someone agrees with her (even empathetically, as I think he was trying to say, "I understand you didn't have a normal upbringing--as you always say, 'wolves' and all--so this family stuff is harder for you than it would be for many"), then he's the bad guy.

 

I liked her on RHoNY but when she got to produce her own show, edit and control the image of herself and everyone else, including the Hoppys, I saw what an unpleasant, narcissistic control freak she was. I'm glad Jason fought for joint custody because Brynn will be better off with more time in Hazelton, imo.

 

 

ITA with you.  Jason and his parents were not being all that unreasonable.  My kids second home is my inlaws house, but they live in the same town. What is so awful about grandparents wanting a relationship with their only grandchild??  I spent many a summer with my grand parents and loved it.  I have fond memories of staying up late with my grandpa and watching Johnny Carson. He died when I was 18 and I cherish that.  I am very close to my grandma to this day.  

 

Bethenny does make me laugh at times.  But I can't get on board with the hate directed at caring grandparents.  

[ryebread]

ITA with you.  Jason and his parents were not being all that unreasonable.  My kids second home is my inlaws house, but they live in the same town. What is so awful about grandparents wanting a relationship with their only grandchild??  I spent many a summer with my grand parents and loved it.  I have fond memories of staying up late with my grandpa and watching Johnny Carson. He died when I was 18 and I cherish that.  I am very close to my grandma to this day.  

 

Bethenny does make me laugh at times.  But I can't get on board with the hate directed at caring grandparents.  

I love this post and I agree.  I would hope that if the Hoppys had lived in NYC, Bethenny would have cut them more slack and vice versa.  I totally don't blame her for not wanting to go to PA every other weekend because it's like your regular life has to stop for that time.  But I also don't blame the Hoppys for wanting to see Bryn more than 12 times a year.  When grandparents live close, usually they end up being able to see the kids more often and can be such a great support system.  Pick Bryn up from school when someone is running late?  Grandpa can do it and while he's at it, lets stop for an ice cream.  If the grandparents are good people, and I believe they are, it's a win/win for everybody.  Unfortunately the marriage didn't last long enough to try any other solutions than just "No, it ain't going to happen."

 

I *do* think Jason and Beth thought they were in love but their backgrounds were too different.  And they were both not bendy enough. It's a shame.

[shoegal]

As newlyweds, we'd walk into my parent's home and be practically tackled by them they were so excited to see us. And we saw them 1 - 2 times a week. Once we had our son, though, we'd walk in and arms were stretched for the baby, "Gimme, gimme, gimme."  We had suddenly become invisible, chopped liver. LOL.  This didn't bother us one bit. However, I imagine it would others.  People, families, experiences are different.  I wouldn't change ours for the world but I understand how my type of family would feel suffocating to someone else. 

 

If my husband had come from a different background, (thankfully, he didn't) it would have taken time for him to adjust and for us to learn compromise. Beth and Jason didn't bother to work out a compromise. He was an ass for digging his heels in so soon and so was she.  I think they were a perfect example of an older couple who were set in their ways.

  

I think this is the issue, you and your husband come from similar backgrounds and had similar views on extended family. My husband and I are the same (our motto: Family is great, as long as they live in another state!). Everyone has different ideas about how they want family involved, even from "normal" loving families (even within the same family, hubby and I both have siblings that live close to our parents and see them daily/ weekly). The problem is that Jason and Bethenny come at this from different worlds, which Bethenny seemed to try to explain and try to compromise and Jason dug in and berated her for not being "normal". I think he LOVED the fact that she "doesn't come from family" and he got to monopolize family time.

Thanks for the research-I never really thought that Jason wanted to go to PA every weekend.  Since Bethenny does her best to remind the world every week how awful her childhood is I find it odd when the same is presented back to her she falls apart.  She does the same thing when someone brings up the divorce-she talks bout how awful the split custody is and cries at the drop of a hat and then gets mad when someone asks her how it is going.

 

 

Think of it this way, let's say you are unhappy with your weight. You complain to your husband that you look fat in things or you need to lose weight or work out more or whatever. Instead of your husband answering with the accepted 'you are beautiful to me' or whatever placating response, he answers by saying, 'yeah, you are fat, you need to lose weight' and then constantly reminding you of how fat you are....but you said it first!

I think of it this way, I can say I'm a bitch. You say I'm a bitch and it takes on a different meaning.

 

I'm one who thought Bethenny was the unreasonable one re: the Hoppys. Jason was willing to take Brynn to visit one weekend a month and Bethenny didn't have to go with them if she didn't want to. (I'm sure Jason and his family and friends would even enjoy some -relaxing- visiting time rather than her hyper, judgmental vibe. It was so clear when she met his friends that she looked down on them, the middle class grandparents, and everything Hazelton. Seriously, it would be a more pleasant weekend without her.)

 

As much as Bethenny complained about life with Jason, you'd think she'd also enjoy a weekend once a month to get together with friends (if she has any), pursue hobbies (if she has any), or just relax at home (if she can).

 

The other weekend a month, the Hoppys were willing to drive into NYC themselves and stay in a hotel. Again, very low stress arrangement for Bethenny (my in-laws came for six months every year and lived with us. No relatives ever stayed nearby--I think doing that, and being apparently very happy to do it, is wonderful! If I had B's money, I would happily pay for them to stay in a nearby hotel every weekend--again, so little stress for her!

 

But she makes a big deal of everything that isn't EXACTLY done the way she wants. So tiring.

The "solution" of taking Bryn without Bethenny showed what a manipulative asshole Jason is IMO. Suggesting a new mother give up her FIRST (and only) baby two weekends a month (and paying for everything) so that the grandparents can have her is pretty shitty IMO, especially one that is busy working and earning the family living. Bethenny had 40 years to relax with friends or pursue hobbies, it was clear to me that what she wanted to be doing with her time is being a mom to her child.

Jason made a pretty big deal out of the issue because he didn't get things EXACTLY the way he wanted, either.

[shoegal]

ITA with you. Jason and his parents were not being all that unreasonable. My kids second home is my inlaws house, but they live in the same town. What is so awful about grandparents wanting a relationship with their only grandchild?? I spent many a summer with my grand parents and loved it. I have fond memories of staying up late with my grandpa and watching Johnny Carson. He died when I was 18 and I cherish that. I am very close to my grandma to this day.

Bethenny does make me laugh at times. But I can't get on board with the hate directed at caring grandparents.

I do not think it's awful for grandparents to want a relationship with their only grandchild, I don't think anyone is saying that. I did find it unreasonable that the grandparents seemed to harp on this -even when they were getting regular visits every 2-3 weeks. Even when they could clearly see that it was causing friction between Jason and Bethenny, they kept pushing. Every week! Every holiday (even Halloween!) Entire summers!

They just didn't know when to back off IMO. I guess they did their job, because now they get Jason and Bryn all to themselves. Every other weekend, of course.

Edited May 27, 2015 by shoegal

[TOL]

I remain stumped as to why Beth thought it appropriate to have one of her assistants be designated as Bryn's godmother/custodian, and moreover why Jason would agree to such a thing. She was notorious for driving her staff away, and the Hoppys were completely disregarded as an option. I was silently begging for Jason to say something- anything- about that arrangement.

Just a thought: wonder whatever happened to that Runaway Bride print that Beth ceremoniously bestowed upon Jason at the pre-wedding dinner. Ha!

[Trooper York]

I think it is utterly reprehensible that Jason's parents thought it would be a good thing for their granddaughter to spend time with them and her father at their family home. Especially during the holidays.

 

That poor child should spend all of her time in the home/office surrounded by loving personal assistants, the nanny of the week, the limo driver, distillery employees, liquor salesmen and the doorman.

 

Oh and they should take back their damn Leggos! Bryn should only be making castles with empty SkinnyGirl bottles! You can never be too young to learn about Branding!

[beaker73]

Full disclosure--I never watched one second of any of Bethenny's spin-offs because I think she's a giant asshole, but here goes...

 

Maybe Bethenny just didn't want to go to Hazleton.  I mean--it's Hazleton.  I can say this as someone born and raised in NE PA in a town very similar and who has cousins, aunts, uncles all over the Scranton, Wilkes-Barre, Hazleton area.  These are my people. There ain't nothing going on there.  There's nothing wrong with that, but it's sooooo not Bethenny's vibe.  Frankly, if going there was such a hardship for her I don't understand why she couldn't let Jason take Bryn there one weekend a month by himself. 

 

Again, I didn't watch any of this Bethenny Ever After bullshit so maybe I'm misreading this whole thing.

[zoeysmom]

  

I think this is the issue, you and your husband come from similar backgrounds and had similar views on extended family. My husband and I are the same (our motto: Family is great, as long as they live in another state!). Everyone has different ideas about how they want family involved, even from "normal" loving families (even within the same family, hubby and I both have siblings that live close to our parents and see them daily/ weekly). The problem is that Jason and Bethenny come at this from different worlds, which Bethenny seemed to try to explain and try to compromise and Jason dug in and berated her for not being "normal". I think he LOVED the fact that she "doesn't come from family" and he got to monopolize family time.

 

Think of it this way, let's say you are unhappy with your weight. You complain to your husband that you look fat in things or you need to lose weight or work out more or whatever. Instead of your husband answering with the accepted 'you are beautiful to me' or whatever placating response, he answers by saying, 'yeah, you are fat, you need to lose weight' and then constantly reminding you of how fat you are....but you said it first!

I think of it this way, I can say I'm a bitch. You say I'm a bitch and it takes on a different meaning.

 

The "solution" of taking Bryn without Bethenny showed what a manipulative asshole Jason is IMO. Suggesting a new mother give up her FIRST (and only) baby two weekends a month (and paying for everything) so that the grandparents can have her is pretty shitty IMO, especially one that is busy working and earning the family living. Bethenny had 40 years to relax with friends or pursue hobbies, it was clear to me that what she wanted to be doing with her time is being a mom to her child.

Jason made a pretty big deal out of the issue because he didn't get things EXACTLY the way he wanted, either.

My problem with Bethenny was after she married and had children she did little to get rid of the chaos in her home.  If she were in fact worth 22 million -get two apartments together and use one for the circus she works in.  I get she likes it and it was her choice but there comes a time when it is not about work it is about the family.  That is why I found it to understand why she thought the grandparents were so fungible.  It always seemed to me that Bethenny wants an audience.  Be it Frederick in the back of cab or Carole and the staff of CB2.

 

Jason did not want a divorce and he got one.  I often wonder if when the cameras are turned off and the assistants are gone and Bethenny looks around if she ever wonders if therapy might have been better directed at trying to salvage her marriage and try the art of compromise.  Two weekends a month could have been compromised to one, now she gets her daughter 50% of the time-she lost the very thing she would not compromise on.  After years of viewing Bethenny's

 acerbic mouth and even things she has admitted to saying to Jason, in front of Bryn, under oath, I just think she makes way too big a deal over some words of Jason's that maybe were in response to her constant badgering.  Interesting she is finding success in admitting she sucks at relationships.  From what I read in her book I did not see Bethenny follow any of her own tips when it came to Jason.  

[shoegal]

My problem with Bethenny was after she married and had children she did little to get rid of the chaos in her home. If she were in fact worth 22 million -get two apartments together and use one for the circus she works in. I get she likes it and it was her choice but there comes a time when it is not about work it is about the family. That is why I found it to understand why she thought the grandparents were so fungible. It always seemed to me that Bethenny wants an audience. Be it Frederick in the back of cab or Carole and the staff of CB2.

Jason did not want a divorce and he got one. I often wonder if when the cameras are turned off and the assistants are gone and Bethenny looks around if she ever wonders if therapy might have been better directed at trying to salvage her marriage and try the art of compromise. Two weekends a month could have been compromised to one, now she gets her daughter 50% of the time-she lost the very thing she would not compromise on.

I honestly do not believe that it was Bethenny unwilling to compromise. Jason never indicated, that I can recall, that he was OK with one weekend a month. Bethenny at least seemed willing. I believe Jason (and the Hoppy's) were the ones who would not be satisfied with once a month. Jason wanted what he wanted, which was weekends with his parents and Bryn's, with or without his wife and Bryn's mother.

[Celia Rubenstein]

 That is why I found it to understand why she thought the grandparents were so fungible.  

 

Nothing I have watched on TV or read here suggests to me that Bethenny thought the grandparents were fungible.  She seemed to just want a more moderate plan to visit with them.  Jason was unwilling to meet her half way.  His solution to the problem was to leave Bethenny home alone if she wouldn't do things his way, which was the "right" way. That's not a compromise.  That is a selfish solution that met his and his parents' needs while pushing his wife to the side.  I think if anyone was being treated as "fungible" it was Bethenny. 

Edited May 27, 2015 by Celia Rubenstein

[LotusFlower]

They each married and had a child with someone on the extreme opposite end of the spectrum in terms of child-rearing and family life. They needed to accept this and compromise - both of them - instead of trying to force it to go their way, or telling the other that they're wrong. Maybe Bethenny could have eased up a bit on visits to PA - once a month sounds reasonable, and the Hoppys could visit NY on occasion in between visits. But Jason could have eased up too, by not insisting on so much, and telling Bethenny her more distant take on things was "wrong." Then there's "Christmas in St. Bart's". No. Just no. But maybe New Year's? See....compromise!

[Celia Rubenstein]

When I meet outspoken, sardonic people like Beth (who are overwhelmingly single, I might add), I often wonder what it's like for them when they don't have an audience and are alone with their own thoughts.

 

My guess is she spends a lot of time thinking about how to build her multi-million dollar empire even bigger and worrying about her daughter.  That probably takes up the bulk of her free time. I doubt she spends as much time wrestling her childhood demons as her Bravo narrative would lead us to believe.    

[QuinnM]

Maybe Bethenny could have eased up a bit on visits to PA - once a month sounds reasonable

The conversation was 3-4 a month versus 1-2 a month. J said we only drive up half of that. B said that she wanted some family time with just J and the baby. She talked about walks around the reservoir on a Sunday morning. J ignored it all and suggested that if she didn't want to go to PA he would just take Brynn himself and leave her to do whatever she wanted. It was a cruel fight. The other part of that exchange was that it took 4 hours driving time. So I'm guessing traffic caused it to be slower?

Edited May 27, 2015 by QuinnM

[sleekandchic]

I remain stumped as to why Beth thought it appropriate to have one of her assistants be designated as Bryn's godmother/custodian, and moreover why Jason would agree to such a thing. She was notorious for driving her staff away, and the Hoppys were completely disregarded as an option. I was silently begging for Jason to say something- anything- about that arrangement.

Just a thought: wonder whatever happened to that Runaway Bride print that Beth ceremoniously bestowed upon Jason at the pre-wedding dinner. Ha!

On camera anyway, Jason did object and said he preferred his parents as guardians. He backed down though.

Who knows the truth really? Is Veronica still their nanny? Does Bethenny still talk to her?

[zoeysmom]

I honestly do not believe that it was Bethenny unwilling to compromise. Jason never indicated, that I can recall, that he was OK with one weekend a month. Bethenny at least seemed willing. I believe Jason (and the Hoppy's) were the ones who would not be satisfied with once a month. Jason wanted what he wanted, which was weekends with his parents and Bryn's, with or without his wife and Bryn's mother.

We never heard Jason say those words. This is your read.  Bethenny obviously wasn't up for compromise she notified him by letter the were divorcing.  I can buy that she got very successful and all of sudden falling for the wage earner regular guy had lost its luster.  It may be just me but I think their issues had far more to do with business than the Hoppys' visitation.  At one point she said something about Jason lamenting he had not struck it rich on his own.  There was back and forth with him working for her or not.  If they really divorced over the Hoppys and whether they would visit Bryn once or twice or month they had some really big problems.

 

Keep in mind Bethenny testified she called Jason white trash and at some point vowed he would not be seeing Bryn.  BTW divorcing people saying they are going to ruin the other is pretty commonplace.  For some reason Bethenny took it very personal when Jason would not just agree and go away quietly.  I truly believe Bethenny thought she could buy her way out of having involved Jason and the Hoppys in her daughter's life.  It would have been so much cheaper and less stressful to just use a sperm donor.  I am not saying Jason should get some big pay day but I do admire him for sticking to 50/50 custody.  I only hope these two incredibly self-absorbed people were better at keeping it away from the child than the were the press.

Nothing I have watched on TV or read here suggests to me that Bethenny thought the grandparents were fungible.  She seemed to just want a more moderate plan to visit with them.  Jason was unwilling to meet her half way.  His solution to the problem was to leave Bethenny home alone if she wouldn't do things his way, which was the "right" way. That's not a compromise.  That is a selfish solution that met his and his parents' needs while pushing his wife to the side.  I think if anyone was being treated as "fungible" it was Bethenny. 

Bethenny filed for primary custody and wanted to move to California for her new talk show.  That is treating people as if they are pretty fungible.  Granted she lost the fight, the show was filmed in NY and now it was a bad experience for Bethenny.  At one point she and Jason were looking for homes in Beverly Hills, again another out of town extended stay while she filmed "Skating with the Stars".  So it is pretty irrelevant how often the Hoppys wanted to see the child-how often did they actually see the child?  I am all for not having to sit around in PA for the weekend-but there are ways to deal with it to limit one's time there.

[LotusFlower]

You're right. Beth isn't capable of introspection. This is a woman who wore her toddler's pjs and posted a pic online.

Even worse, she defended it, and chided people for calling her out. Sadly, Andy seemed to agree with her. Last night on WWHL, he talked about all the silliness on Twitter, and he cited the pjs pic as one example. That pic was disturbing for so many reasons, and I'll cut Andy some slack cuz he's a guy and probably doesn't get it. But Bethenny should have known better.

[Celia Rubenstein]

You're right. Beth isn't capable of introspection. 

 

I certainly didn't say Beth was incapable of introspection, lol.  I just don't presume she spends all her time fathoming the issues Bravo would have viewers believe preoccupy her.  I believe many viewers actually waste a lot more time thinking about her childhood than she does.  Truly, Bravo's ability to manipulate the audience has risen to the level of *art.* 

 

This is a woman who wore her toddler's pjs and posted a pic online.

 

I never understood the kerfuffle over the PJs pic.  It was kind of stupid and arguable vain, but hardly the kind of behavior that warrants as much criticism it received in my opinion. I can't believe the judge actually told her not to do it again, as if it was of real consequence, lol!  I mean, aren't there like way more serious issues at hand to be concerned with? Who cares if Bryn sees the pic online one day (which the judge said she was concerned about).  I would imagine Bryn had actually either seen her mother wearing her pajamas to take the pic or she had already been shown the picture by Bethenny herself, and I bet Bryn thought it was funny. My daughter would have laughed her butt off if I wriggled into a pair of her pjs.   I just never understood why the judge would think that goofy little picture could harm Bryn in the slightest.  

 

I thought the whole thing was completely ridiculous.

[zoeysmom]

Even worse, she defended it, and chided people for calling her out. Sadly, Andy seemed to agree with her. Last night on WWHL, he talked about all the silliness on Twitter, and he cited the pjs pic as one example. That pic was disturbing for so many reasons, and I'll cut Andy some slack cuz he's a guy and probably doesn't get it. But Bethenny should have known better.

It is pretty bad when the judge has to caution you about not wearing your daughter's clothes and posting them on Twitter. 

 

So last night Bethenny was in tears and curt with Heather over her divorce and child custody. This was filmed five moths after  the custody decision.  Prior to that she and Jason had pretty much the same schedule.  Is it the finality of the custody decision or the fact she has been such a fighter she feels she can't switch weekends with Jason?  My guess is the are probably on the 5 day plan but who knows it is too upsetting for Bethenny to talk about.