Weapon of Choice

[Solid Muldoon]

So, what would be your weapon of choice during the Zombie times?

I'd go with a framing hammer. Guns break and run out of ammo. Shotgun shells have a limited shelf life. Swords and knives break and need sharpening. And a crossbow is just ridiculous. (But looks very cool.)

If I did use I gun, I'd choose a .22. Around the south, you can find .22 ammo at every sporting goods store, bait shop, and Walmart. Hell, they sell them at convenience stores. 

How about you?

[Lisin]

I'm with you, a framing hammer is a great choice, I'm not super strong so I'd be concerned about being able to swing it hard enough or getting tired. I'm thinking maybe a baseball bat or something longer so I'd have better leverage?

[David T. Cole]

Oooooo what a great topic.

Lisin: Maybe one of these from my precious Team Fortress 2: Boston Basher.

If we are talking home base defense then I'm thinking rifle and pistol and a long stabby pole with a big plate about 2 feet in so I can impale anywhere then at my leisure stick em in the head with a knife.

[Tara Ariano]

Katana.

[Solid Muldoon]

An aluminum baseball bat is an awesome weapon, unless you are in a small room or tight hallway. 

Swing away, Merrill!

[Lisin]

I like it Dave, I like it a lot.

[Omar G.]

Something very lengthy like a spear but with side spears for closer combat? I don't want those things to get close enough for me to hand-combat them.   So put me down for a spear/bayonet-type weapon and, I dunno, an exploding dagger for closer quarters?  Do they make hollow-tip exploding daggers? 

[Lisin]

@Omar, like this http://gadgets.boingboing.net/2008/06/16/wasp-injector-knife.html ?

[Kristen]

A board with a nail in it!

But seriously. Something like Michonne's katana or a machete. Yeah, they need to be sharpened, but I imagine it'd be easier to find something to hone a blade than ammo after a while.

[ApathyMonger]

I think I'd probably go for baseball bat or such. Does damage, but is fairly easy to carry around and won't weigh you down too much. I'm terrible at archery, and I'm pretty sure I'd end up cutting myself pretty badly with a sword.

[Echokilo]

I think a baseball bat is the most practical answer, if maybe short on style. Swords sound great, but they get stuck in stuff after impact and you have to keep them sharp and they injure you if you mishandle them. Bats are easy to carry, don't need to be maintained or supplied, make little noise, and do a lot of damage quickly.

I like the idea of a framing hammer for close in, but you have to hit your target with the right surface and the claws seem like they would get stuck in skulls pretty easily. Maybe a ball peen hammer instead? You might just be better off with a short lead pipe.

You're going to want to be able to kill things at range too. Making a head shot with a pistol at anything beyond about 10 yards is only easy on TV, so we're talking rifles. .22lr would probably be my first choice but for the fact that we might also need to shoot people. I think an AR-pattern in 5.56 NATO is far and away the most sustainable option here.

[Kim]

Tara, let's be honest. Your weapon would be a cyanide pill for yourself.

I would want something long and poky, like some sort of long-handled knife. Shorter than a sword, but a little longer than some of the tiny knives on the show. Maybe not cool, but easy to carry. Then I would team up with Daryl for long-range shooting.

[Tara Ariano]

Kim: totally. But if I made the decision to try to survive, which I wouldn't, I'd want something long enough to let me kill without getting too close to bitey mouths.

[kikismom]

I'm interested in a telescoping branch cutter I've seen. It is battery-powered, can cut 200 tree limbs before it needs recharging, and has a solar-recharger, with super-charger option that only needs 20 minutes to fully recharge. 200 heads sliced right in half before you run out of power would be about as many as you'd need; anymore zombies than that and nothing would save you. Plus, it has a telescoping handle that cuts an "object" (cough cough) up to 30 feet away, yet the slicing end is removable to use by hand, still with power. You could even have the cutter saw in one hand and use the hard pole with the other. And it's not gas-engine powered like some tools so it's not going to make the same noise.And it would also be handy for getting in buildings, through fences etc. The extending pole could be used for a lot of purposes. Bats and knives you have to let them get up close to use; which is risky, and if a knife or crowbar gets stuck--I think we've seen that--then you are in big trouble.

[KarateKate]

I think "what's at my house that I can use" then "what can I scavenge to use". Because in my imagination I would not have immediately died. Which is probably less likely than a Zombie Apocalypse to start with. 

From my house I would have to stick with a gardening hoe, with a long utility knife for close up work. I mean, sure, we have a gun or so (cop life), but I think I would default to "I'm going to have to account for every freakin' single one of these bullets" And ammo for our pieces is harder to find. I'd take it, but it would be largely useless shortly. 

I think I would like a machette. I used to use my dad's and pretend I was whacking through dense jungle underbrush. 

[bravelittletoaster]

My wife has a British bobby baton that's been handed down through her family and lives in the corner of the bedroom by the door for home protection, and I have to say that would be mighty fine in a zombie apocalypse.  More practical length than a baseball bat, as you wouldn't need as much room to swing it, but it'd pack similar wallop.  But I'd also really relish the excuse to wear a sword, so I think I'd want the baton on one hip and a sword on the other for longer range action.

[KarateKate]

My wife has a British bobby baton that's been handed down through her family and lives in the corner of the bedroom by the door for home protection, [...]

Oh, good call BraveLittleToaster. We have used the telescoping billy stick on several occasions - pinatas, mostly. I have to assume a walker is easier to bash in than a child's pinata, because we've used sticks, swords, baseball bats and NOTHING opens them like a billy stick. 

If zombies are tougher than a pinata, I am definitely dead.

[no1skittishkitten]

Katana.

I have to agree. Michonne's got the right idea. You don't have to constantly reload like a gun or bow, don't have to worry about runnng out of ammo, and can do serious damage without having to get too close to the walker. The zombie apocalypse hits, I'm going to the nearest katana shop...which hopefully also carries a copy of "Michonne's Guide To Not Cutting Your Own Head Off For Dummies."

[bravelittletoaster]

Mr. Pointy would do in a pinch.

[GreyBunny]

A sword, viking battle axe, machete or other "peasant weapon."  As noted upthread, nothing that needs to be reloaded, runs out of ammo, is noisy, or could jam.  Just make sure to wrap the handle with leather strips to keep a good grip as blood is slippery.  I'd only have a gun (or rather a bow/crossbow) as a secondary weapon.

[kikismom]

Any suggestions for body armor? Milton had the duct-tape sleeves, but it would get a tad warm in Georgia. Something flexible, breathable, but bite-proof.

[Bongo Fury]

Any suggestions for body armor?

I have Kevlar chaps that I wear when I am using my chainsaw, if they can stall a chainsaw blade and keep me from cutting off my leg, they can surely stop a walker bite. They only cover the front of my legs, but sew two pairs together and your lower body is covered. More needlework and you could make sleeves to cover your arms. Add a heavy leather coat (w/ the sleeves cut off) and leather gloves and you'd be pretty well protected.  

Time to raid my local Stihl dealership.

Oh, and my chainsaw would make lots of noise, but boy could I lay waste to a herd of walkers.

he he he he he

Edited March 29, 2014 by Bongo Fury

[AimingforYoko]

The major problem I see with the katana is that it's a Globe University* weapon. I suggest it's baby brother the Wakizashi. It's shorter, less like to cut off one's own limbs.

 

*From the Globe University motto and ad series "Know What You're Doing."

[lumibutterfly]

I'm not strong, have poor eyesight, and am also am not very coordinated. So, ignoring the fact that these traits leave me unlikely to survive at all, I can rule out guns, swords, or anything heavy. It seems that a baseball bat is the only prudent choice. 

[lawless]

Duh!  The Lobo , of course.

Mr. Pointy would do in a pinch.

Hee! This too.

[Milaxx]

I want something good for defense against walkers, catching food and defense against humans. I want a gun and a hammer. I'm one of those nerdy folks that actually has a bug out bag so I like the idea of having weapons I could strap to a tool belt if I need to be hands free. 

[walnutqueen]

I wouldn't be caught dead with just one weapon, but for travelling a spiked tomahawk would be useful.

I currently use a pitchfork or shovel when I'm in my yard, a hatchet when I'm driving, a razor sharp ulu for shopping, a baseball bat for checking the mail, and a machete and ball peen hammer for watching TV & sleeping.  The 44 magnum only comes out when the police helicopters are circling my neighborhood or a drunk passes out in my front yard impersonating a serial killer.   Of course, I'd be much better prepared in the event of a ZA.  :-)

[bravelittletoaster]

Damn.  Are you sure you're not in one already? 

[walnutqueen]

I live in a quiet safe neighborhood and leave my windows open most nights, but I also watch the ID channel, and if I were a Real Ho'wife, my tagline would be "you can never watch too much TV or be too prepared for an attack".  I am also a pacifist, and believe that wielding a weapon whose very appearance strikes terror in your assailant's heart is the best defense, and might save you from actually having to use the weapon.  :-)

I had several trash bags full of cans for recycling stashed behind my side gate that eventually broke open (and got a wee bit overgrown by jasmine & honeysuckle).  Anyhoo, my watch cat alerted me to a disturbance in our peaceful little paradise, and I heard the cans rattling.  Some punk had hopped over the tall gate and landed in the cans (probably came to steal my recycling) and he was floundering around trying to get back out of there quietly (can't see the cans for all the overgrowth).  I just happened to be brandishing my machete when he saw me, and he jumped back over that gate like a fucking deer. So I've learned that machetes scare punks and aluminum cans are my white trash burglar alarm, but my cat is the best alarm ever (he still alerts to the mailman every day).

[bravelittletoaster]

I just happened to be brandishing my machete when he saw me, and he jumped back over that gate like a fucking deer.

LOL, omg, that's amazing.  Ok, they kicked me off the zombie apocalypse preparation team in the survival guide thread, but my guess it's they're eager to sign you up.

[Cheetosandchoc]

Toaster I was there with you about an island. I guess I would go with a hammer. Preferably a tool belt with a hammer a good sized knife and a gun. If it could be anything I would pick a cloak of invisibility.

[walnutqueen]

If it could be anything I would pick a cloak of invisibility.

 

POINTS !!!

Love your screen name, Cheetosandchoc.  My "breakfast of champions" is Cheetos and vodka, but my all time favorite snack is Cheetos and chocolate gelato.  Since my Beanster cat died, I haven't been able to even look at a Cheeto (he used to lick the orange off the Cheetos and my fingers - it was his favorite treat).  :-(

[SpaghettiTuesdays]

I thought I would like a basebat bat for myself. For emergencies, of course. A plethora of guns of any sort would do, as well, but it's more personal with a bat.

[CletusMusashi]

Something light, hard to break, and no more than four feet long. A steel rod with a point at each end would be about right. Bonus points (no pun intended) if there was a third sharp extension, maybe a foot or so, sticking out the side like a tonfa handle. So basically you'd have a very, very sturdy three-pointed spear. The middle point would be for ramming into an opponents head at close range, when necessary.

[bravelittletoaster]

Based on that description I pictured alternately a trident and a rabbit vibrator.  I'm guessing you were going for something closer to the former.  The latter would be pretty useless in the zombie apocalypse once you ran out of batteries.

[CletusMusashi]

Something like this:

_________l____

Figure about 30" on the left, another 18" on the right, and a shorter spike going about 10" on top. Left and right aren't meant to represent any official fighting stance; I'm just doing it that way for reference, and I'll continue to refer to them as such. I figure after about four feet it would too hard to use while scavenging a cluttered house or someplace like that.

The left point would be better for stabbing at a distance, and that cross-piece would even give your hand something to keep pushing against for stronger penetration, just like with a sword, dagger, or lance. The top and right points would be better for closer work. Also, the right-angled spots where two extensions come together would be useful for catching, pushing, blocking, and even tripping, not that I'd want to use tripping attacks against a zombie, unless there were stairs or a cliff involved. A human on the ground is on the defensive, but a zombie on the ground is still biting. Might be nice to have some combat options if you're fighting skilled humans, though, and even against walkers, you can't always land a kill shot, so having more positions from which you can push their face and hands away is a good thing. I think the little side-point would even be good as a climbing aid, if you had to get over a high fence or something. Plus, if you wanted to go all "Hulk Smash" like Maggie, you could hold it by the left end, and swing the top point like a pickaxe. I think generally you'd be better off sticking with hard thrusts, though. If something gets stuck in there, it's easier to pull out a straight thrust than to pull out a side-spike that had to be swung in an arc to get angled in there in the first place.

There's also a trick where you tie two wrenches together to create a makeshift set of nunchuks. Oh, it won't be as good for all the flashy martial arts stuff, but it'll break a head, and if you don't make the cord too long you can easily fold it in half and carry it as a convenient backup weapon.

Learning to use a sling would also be handy. Not so much for dealing with ground ambushes, but for situations like: "Hey, look, there's a bunch of zombies outside. Wouldn't it be nice if we could go up on the roof and shoot them quietly?" Imagine how useful a few slingers would have been for clearing the prison yard.

Edited March 31, 2014 by CletusMusashi

[Cheetosandchoc]

POINTS !!!

Love your screen name, Cheetosandchoc.  My "breakfast of champions" is Cheetos and vodka, but my all time favorite snack is Cheetos and chocolate gelato.  Since my Beanster cat died, I haven't been able to even look at a Cheeto (he used to lick the orange off the Cheetos and my fingers - it was his favorite treat).  :-(

Walnut sorry about your kitty:0( if you are talking about Talenti double dark chocolate gelato we could be soul mates!

[walnutqueen]

Thanks, cheetosandchoc.  If it isn't double dark, it really isn't chocolate, is it?

I'm not much of an outdoorswoman these days, but wouldn't tools like climbing axes or camping hatchets be strong, lightweight and easy to carry; especially if you're out scavenging and likely to have to run at some point?

[Izzyboy]

I was actually thinking something like a hatchet or ax would be my bladed weapon of choice.  Not only would it (obviously) do lots of damage to a walker, but it also has practical use outside of fighting.  Swords aren't very useful if you need to butcher some food or even chop off small limbs from a tree to make a fire. An aluminum bat would be probably the best all around weapon as it doesn't need sharpening, the only issue is you need space to swing so in closed quarters it suffers.

[kikismom]

holy crap, I just got hit with ads for Body Armor On Sale Now lol that didn't take long!

[KirkB]

My first instinct was baseball bat, and I'd definitely want to keep one of those around, but I think the best choice for me would be a crowbar. They're not too heavy, long enough to hit walkers at range but could also be used to break windows and pry open doors, boxes, etc. A good weapon but in that world a very practical, day to day tool as well.

[michealbond]

A child's t-ball bat or short softball bat would be suitable alternative since it would be easy to swing with one hand. I'd also have a machete and/or camping axe with me as well. Like another has said, sometimes, you will need a blade to clear brush or chop down limbs. 

Only thing is I probably wouldn't want to use the same blade for chopping up zombies that I would to chop up an animal to feed myself or others.

So a small bat, Machete, camping axe, and maybe one of those "multi-purpose" tools with the knife/can opener/etc. as a last resort weapon and survival tool. 

[TooMuchCoffee]

I swing a mean pickaxe when I'm gardening so I'd feel comfortable using that in close range.  How sturdy are those pointy-ended things used for picking up pieces of trash? Would they break after one good hit?

[halgia]

A child's t-ball bat or short softball bat would be suitable alternative since it would be easy to swing with one hand.

Are there t-ball bats that aren't those cheapo plastic ones? I don't see anyone taking out a walker with one of those.

[bravelittletoaster]

Yeah they make itty bitty aluminum bats for tee ball that should work well actually.  Or you could go with a fungo bat.

[kikismom]

 

how sturdy are those pointy-ended things they use for picking up pieces of trash?

If they were any good as a weapon, they wouldn't give them to prisoners.

[bravelittletoaster]

Good point.

[Pixiebomb]

I'm not very strong and I'm pretty tiny so I'd have to go with a bow. In fact I've been practicing and I'm not bad. I've fired guns before and the recoil seriously messes with me. I can't smash or hack. Maybe I could jab and stick 'em with the pointy end but that's about it. Good news is I don't eat much and am pretty clever. I think I could survive.

[Giselle]

A Viking sword. Ragnar and Lagertha make it look easy to wield. :-)

[David T. Cole]

SHIELDWALL!