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For a standard day-to-day weapon, you couldn't beat a naginata.  Got a sharp edge for scything a crowd (if you're foolish enough to try and face one down), pointy end for poking though skulls (which would be my standard attack), and a nice long handle to keep the zombie goo at bay.  It's also light enough that, for the last 100 years or so, it's been considered more of a lady's weapon than the tachi. I'd keep one of them across my back too but mostly cuz it looks pretty badass.  If you get to the point where you really need it, you're probably surrounded and gonna be dead shortly anyway.

 

For the life of me I don't know why people in the WD-verse don't find a nice deuce-and-a-half and do daily patrols, running over every walker they see.  I honestly don't think there're enough walkers in the world to even slow one of those down.  

 

If we're talking sheer firepower and ammo isn't a problem, hard to beat the AA-12.  Surely this'd be the weapon of choice if you're facing a mob.

Edited by henripootel
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For the life of me I don't know why people in the WD-verse don't find a nice deuce-and-a-half and do daily patrols, running over every walker they see.  I honestly don't think there're enough walkers in the world to even slow one of those down

Possibly because it gets about 10 mpg? Of course you can make your own diesel; that does require being in one place for a few days though. It's like Abraham Ford's fire engine. Big and powerful means a big thirst.

AA-12 is breathtaking!

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I agree about the farm tools. Seeing anybody on the road who isn't carrying some kind of an elongated weapon, be it a self-made spear, a bayonet rifle, or a shovel/pitchfork.whatever just drives me crazy. Especially when they should know better. We;ve seen Maggie have to use a signpost. And then did she bring it with her, after it proved to be a great weapon? She did not.

Scythes, however, are not as awesome as they look. The original version, invented by and named after the Scythians, was invented for cutting mature hemp plants, so it had a normal sturdy blade. Modern scythes aren't made for crops, though, They're simply a cool-looking low-tech lawnmower, with a flimsy paper-thin blade designed to pass through blades of grass without tearing up the yard.

 

 

 I had NO idea there were faux scythes available, other than as a Halloween prop.   :-)

 

Before we hired our neighbour's tractor to tow the iron seated hay-cutting implement of torturous labor (I don't know what it was called, but working the lever whilst bouncing in that iron seat made me pray for an early death!);  I used an old scythe that cut through hay and grass like a warm knife through butter.  Because old heavy farm tools take kindly to staying honed and oiled, and the horses needed feed for the winter.  I'd imagine any "boy brain" could figure out how to adjust that scythe blade for maximum decapitation or penetration; I'd be more inclined to practice my various grips and make it work in a pinch and figure out how to modify it later.  Hell, I'd practice with bowling balls if I thought it could fell a single walker for a single minute, because it takes less than that for someone to get bitten.  EVERYTHING is a weapon to be used, and unfortunately, not just against walkers (humans seem to be the greater danger, for now).

 

I don't pretend to know how I'd fare against walkers, but I'd like to think I'm prepared to give some humans a run for their money, even if it's a short one, and with all the weapons of opportunity you all have helped me identify, sure as shit there will be blood. and it won't all be mine. 

 

PS - please feed the cats, and the raccoons if possible.  :-)

All excellent points.

I have a question that is more of a poll; matter of opinion let's call it.

 

Why are people (on the show) trying to make so many headshots on the first try?

That is to say--- walkers can't use anything but their teeth and hands. So they aren't going to shoot you with a gun or fire an arrow (bolt, excuse me).

 

I'm thinking my strategy would be to get them on the ground first. Then go around batting/clubbing/stabbing heads. You have a much better chance of shooting legs or hips or spines than direct brain strike; especially when dealing with multiple walkers.

Once they are crawling you should be able to use almost anything for a brain bash. Stomping by boot is being done on the show all the time.

 

When the herd attacked Herschel's farm, the group have this walker rodeo roundup idea, drive around in the dark on bumpy pastures, sometimes in sedans, and firing head-shots. Crap, they could have strewn all the furniture they could throw in a circle around the house and tripped most of the m*****rf****rs. 

 

Instead of getting his son into an old wooden barn loft, soaking everything below with accelerant, setting it afire and now being surrounded by walkers with no exit strategy till Daryl told Jimmy to pull the RV up?

...Rick could have got in the loft with Carl and started throwing hay bales, burning, out to the one side. (Hay doesn't really need accelerant to burn).

 

 The people at the house could throw out mattresses and sofa cushions burning in a spot to draw walkers, then shoot it they must. People keep seeming (on the show) to let the walkers keep coming any direction, and not considering that there doesn't need to be much disadvantage caused to shuffling deadheads to provide humans with more advantage.

Edited by kikismom
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All excellent points.

I have a question that is more of a poll; matter of opinion let's call it.

 

Why are people (on the show) trying to make so many headshots on the first try?

That is to say--- walkers can't use anything but their teeth and hands. So they aren't going to shoot you with a gun or fire an arrow (bolt, excuse me).

 

I'm thinking my strategy would be to get them on the ground first. Then go around batting/clubbing/stabbing heads. You have a much better chance of shooting legs or hips or spines than direct brain strike; especially when dealing with multiple walkers.

Once they are crawling you should be able to use almost anything for a brain bash. Stomping by boot is being done on the show all the time.

 

Hi Kiki!  I personally would be trying to make the headshots. When running for  your life you don't have time for a multipronged kill strategy.  Keep in mind that the danger in zombies is not in one or two - most of the cast will dispatch of small numbers with blades or blunt objects - but in groups, coming intently from all sides and all they need to do is break your skin, that's pretty scary.  Aiming for a head that is right in front of you is actually EASIER than aiming for a limb or a foot.  If you get the headshot they go down immediately and that particular zombie is done.   You'd want to avoid physical interactions as much as possible, it lessens the chance of them getting to any part of you and fighting with full grown adult (albeit decayed and gross) bodies is very exhausting and should only be the last resort.  I'm a very good shot so my advice is if you've got the ammo, aim for the head and run.  JMO.

Edited by Timetoread
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Hi Kiki!    Aiming for a head that is right in front of you is actually EASIER than aiming for a limb or a foot. 

Very true if they are right in front of you, I guess I meant more like the farm situation or the prison overrun.I should have specified--but I didn't! If they are scattered and you have too many just try to down them. Up close? Absolutely go for the braiiinnss!

 

ETA: Hi to you too! :-)

Edited by kikismom
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I'm thinking my strategy would be to get them on the ground first. Then go around batting/clubbing/stabbing heads.

Along these lines, I'd make it a hobby of setting up zombie traps.  Leave a nice set of chimes hanging just out of reach over a precipice (the top of a building or a nice tall overpass) with an obvious trail for zombies to walk their way up.  Any that don't completely splat should be easy to deal with as they lie there with their sticks all broken.  Everybody talks about the zombie problem but nobody does anything about it.

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The shopping channels are selling all those remote controlled drones & helicopters right around now.  Which makes me think of how perfect they'd be for leading a herd of walkers off a convenient cliff (or into a mudpit, etc).  Think I'll try calling in to their testimonial line:

Shopping Channel Host: "And who are you buying this toy for, caller?"

walnutqueen: "Myself.  I'm not a giver"

Shopping Channel Host: "And what are you planning on using it for?"

walnutqueen: "Leading zombies to their demise"

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One problem I see with targeting the legs is that they might fall forward.

 

Or, even if they've been knocked down from a distance and you're moving in to finish them off, they do not consider themselves to be at a disadvantage. Which gives them suicide-bomber mojo. If a normal, rational human is on the ground, and you're about to bash his head in, he tends to opt for things like "rolling away from the blow," or "curling up and protecting his vitals until somebody breaks the fight up."

 

A zombie will just bite you on the leg. Even if it is very obvious that a second later you will bash his head in, a zombie will still bite you on the leg.

 

I would actually rather fight one that was upright. I can easily see where his mouth is, while still keeping an eye on where all of his friends' mouths are. His angles of attack are predictable, as opposed to on the ground, where he might roll sideways, might crawl on his belly, might grab me by the ankle and pull himself over. Grabbing somebody while standing, at a distance, by, say, the shoulder, is a lot less likely to be successful.

 

Although if a few arms get lost in the process, why not? Considering how cheap and everlasting gasoline was, it seems like a few guys with riot armor and chainsaws could have cleaned up the prison border pretty easily. I wonder. Were all the chainsaws looted early, by Bruce Campbell wannabes?

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Stop making sense, kikismom!

 

Nevermind that most shooters couldn't make those consistent head shots.

 

Depends on who's doing the shooting.  This is from last week's trip out to the firing range:

 

target_practice_45.jpg

 

Of course, I wasn't yippee-ki-yaying it out the window of a moving vehicle - but as long as my feet are on solid ground, I feel pretty ok with my odds.  :)

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Considering how cheap and everlasting gasoline was, it seems like a few guys with riot armor and chainsaws could have cleaned up the prison border pretty easily. 

 

I am a volunteer hiking trail maintainer and I am the group chainsaw operator, so I can say with great experience that one fallen tree can block a trail quite completely. So in the prison scenario a much better use of chainsaws would be to go a quarter mile or a half mile away from the prison in the woods and start felling trees prependicular to the prison. You could create quite effective tangles of trees that would block the walkers from getting to the prison. An effective defense is a defense in depth. CDB letting the walkers build up along the fence line was nothing more that gross incompetence in service of the plot line.

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A zombie will just bite you on the leg. 

Grabbing somebody while standing, at a distance, by, say, the shoulder, is a lot less likely to be successful.

Not if you drive over them with a truck after they're down.

 

Speaking of grabbing, I've noted how often people on the show have turned to the "grab it by the neck and stab the skull" tactic.

Didn't they used to worry about being scratched?

Wasn't Big Tiny beyond saving when he got cut on the back by a walker whose hand had come off?

Don't walkers keep grabbing at people when they are behind someone, or on the ground, or on the other side of a fence or iron bars...but when you grab them by the neck their arms just flail harmlessly at their sides?

Anyone else notice that?

 

ETA: Didn't even Merle Dixon have to use those Handy AARP Extension Grabbers to get a walker by the neck to stay out of the reach of it's arms?

Edited by kikismom
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Depends on who's doing the shooting.  This is from last week's trip out to the firing range:

 

target_practice_45.jpg

 

Of course, I wasn't yippee-ki-yaying it out the window of a moving vehicle - but as long as my feet are on solid ground, I feel pretty ok with my odds.  :)

Niiiiice shooting.

Can I be in your Zombie Apocalypse Survival Group? :-D

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AA-12 is breathtaking!

It is, and with all due respect to Nashville, you can't really expect everyone in your group to have Kentucky marksmanship.  Nor know how (or have the time) to maintain a rifle properly.  The AA-12 is supposedly largely maintenance free, almost recoilless, and with a shotgun, everyone's a head-shooter.  Plus the firepower on this thing is truly terrifying - I'd like to think that even an undead walker would shit his pants when his stumbling compatriots start essentially exploding from the chest up.  Good for moral to be able to lay down that level of whoop-ass when needed, plus there's no reason the zombie apocalypse can't be fun.  

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The AA-12 is certainly a great choice, as is the Vulcan mini gun (Jesse Ventura's character carried one in the original Predator movie), but only if you assume the 'with unlimited ammo' caveat. Otherwise either of those would be a great choice for about 10 minutes.

 

For hand to hand against single or small groups of walkers, it's hard to beat the old trident and net gladiator setup (Retiarius). It'd certainly be one of the safest approaches. The net to immobilize the walker and then the trident to finish them off from a safe distance.

Edited by Bongo Fury
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It is, and with all due respect to Nashville, you can't really expect everyone in your group to have Kentucky marksmanship.

No offense taken. :)  I have the good fortune to have been born into one of the original Tennessee families, and learning good marksmanship is a family tradition (I wasn't kidding when I said Daryl was similar to several of my uncles and cousins, skill set-wise).  My father wouldn't take me hunting with him until I could shoot at a walnut tree at least 50 yards away and knock out six walnuts with six shots.

 

I'm not saying this to be boastful (well, not much - but I am proud of where I came from :) - I'm saying this because @henripootel presents a very valid point.  True marksmanship (as opposed to Hollywood marksmanship) is not something one is going to pick up in one or two afternoons at the range with a couple of boxes of ammo.  It's hard work, and it takes time, dedication, and practice - which is why I've always had a certain issue with the insta-marksmen of CDB:

  • Between constantly scrounging for food and shelter, when are they supposed to be practicing marksmanship?
  • Even assuming they can find time to practice - how are they supposed to practice for any length of time, when any noise of gunfire immediately brings a rambling shambling horde down upon them?

And yet we somehow have an ex-firefighter-turned-sniper suddenly doing single-round head shots at distance.  Good on her.  :P

 

Nor know how (or have the time) to maintain a rifle properly.  The AA-12 is supposedly largely maintenance free, almost recoilless, and with a shotgun, everyone's a head-shooter.  Plus the firepower on this thing is truly terrifying - I'd like to think that even an undead walker would shit his pants when his stumbling compatriots start essentially exploding from the chest up.  Good for moral to be able to lay down that level of whoop-ass when needed, plus there's no reason the zombie apocalypse can't be fun.

 

To the best of my knowledge and experience, there's virtually no difference between the maintenance and cleaning regimen of a rifle and a shotgun.  I am speaking in terms of a standard hunting rifle such as would be readily available to our intrepid band of boomstickers; if you're talking about someone toting around a Barrett, for example, you're getting into a whole other class.

And as far as "maintenance free" goes: it's true the effects of neglect would evidence quicker in a rifle than a shotgun, because of the more exacting tolerances required of a bullet vs. pellets.  I don't care what ANY manufacturer claims, though; if you're not regularly swabbing that barrel with nitro solvent shortly after use, either weapon will fail - and fail catastrophically - due to barrel corrosion:

  • Rifle: corrosion in the barrel will jam the round and cause a breech blowback.
  • Shotgun: the shot pellets won't lodge in the barrel like a bullet.  Shotgun barrels are thinner than rifle barrels, however, and any corrosion will weaken the structural integrity of a shotgun barrel quicker than that of a rifle, leading to an eventual barrel shatter - the shrapnel from which goes everywhere except forward.

AND - I wouldn't trust ANY manufacturer who says different.

The cleaning time factor, of course, is a simple matter of practice - the more you do it, the quicker you can do it.

Regarding the firepower - more on that below.

 

The AA-12 is certainly a great choice, as is the Vulcan mini gun (Jesse Ventura's character carried one in the original Predator movie), but only if you assume the 'with unlimited ammo' caveat. Otherwise either of those would be a great choice for about 10 minutes.

This.  While the AA-12's display did look impressive, I'd consider it impractical as hell unless you're toting around a Walmart's entire stock of 12-gauge ammo.  But hey, that's just me.  YMMV

 

Actually, this discussion brings up an interesting point: what is your purpose in shooting them?  Creating avenues for escape, or simply blowing up zombies?

  • If the latter, then the AA12 is definitely one way to go - assuming, of course, you have a failsafe retreat to which you can regularly fall back and safely take the time to reload those shotgun magazines.  The noise of semi-automatic shotgun fire will also serve this purpose, as it is going to draw every walker in the Tri-Cities region.
  • If the former - call it a hunch, but I think a more surgical approach might be warranted in terms of both noise and ammo conservation.

 

For hand to hand against single or small groups of walkers, it's hard to beat the old trident and net gladiator setup (Retiarius). It'd certainly be one of the safest approaches. The net to immobilize the walker and then the trident to finish them off from a safe distance.

 

Don't know about the netting; it could work for individual or small group encounters, but I think your recycle time between kills might be a bit much if you have a good-sized crowd coming at you.  A trident with non-barbed prongs would definitely be in the running as a handy hand weapon, however.

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While the AA-12's display did look impressive, I'd consider it impractical as hell unless you're toting around a Walmart's entire stock of 12-gauge ammo.

True, but I was of a mind that I'd only use the AA-12 in extremis, surrounded by walkers and looking to blast a path out.  Of course, I'd also be berating myself for letting this happen in the first place as my life in the ZA would largely consist of never ever letting myself get surrounded and always thinking about line of retreat.

 

Truth be told, I'm betting the best weapon I'd have is a goodly supply of bicycles that I'd stash everywhere, that and an elaborate network of safe houses, tree hammocks, and bolt holes.  Prior planning prevents piss-poor performance.

 

If it comes to it, Nashville, you bring your Daryl skills and I'll bring sword and naginata to the table.  

Edited by henripootel
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Okay, let's have a contest:

  • No firearms allowed; for fun's sake let's presume you can't find one or you can't find ammo. (I don't know why that would be "fun" but still.)
  • No knives, swords, bayonets, machetes,....they've all been stuck in some walker's head by now.

 

  1. In just the interior of your house right now, what would be weapons? No going out to the garage, or the tool shed, or Cabela's. Just your house.
  2. You and your peeps have been cornered by a walker herd in a Walgreen's. Weapons?
  3. Trapped in a Petsmart. All the animals are dead. Defense?
  4. After losing your weapons, you found an unlocked door at a ToysRUs store; but the hundreds of biters that chased you from the vet college are breaking in.  Grab something!

 

Choose one, or suggest another. Solve it with at least one improvised weapon you could use seriously enough to save your life.

I'm not just being goofy; but enough uniforms in my family always reminded me to look around and see things you could use. (i.e. what could you do with a shopping cart? Where should you hit someone with a soap on a rope? Office: that electronic check stamper--heavy as a rock on a nice length cord---swing for the cheap seats!)

We do have fun fantasizing about ideal weapons. But in a ZA there's a lot of times you have to improvise. (I'm still not sure I buy Maggie just plucking a metal sign like a daisy but visually it was variety at least. CDB stopped cleaning firearms back at the prison, and the way they use knives to hack at doors and cut firewood makes me a bit leery.)

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Okay, let's have a contest:

  • No firearms allowed; for fun's sake let's presume you can't find one or you can't find ammo. (I don't know why that would be "fun" but still.)
  • No knives, swords, bayonets, machetes,....they've all been stuck in some walker's head by now.

 

  1. In just the interior of your house right now, what would be weapons? No going out to the garage, or the tool shed, or Cabela's. Just your house.

 

Well, it's cheating but I have a workbench in the basement with all sorts of deadly walker slayers, including a mattock, pulaski & mcleod that are waiting to be sharpened.

https://www.forestrytools.com.au/index.php?id=464

But to maintain the spirit of your contest I'll ignore the basement. 

 

There are at least 3 knives in the kitchen with 9"+ long blades and also a meat cleaver. A fire poker next to the fireplace, a baseball bat in a closet as well as ski poles and golf clubs. There's a small claw hammer in the junk drawer. 

 

In the unconvential category; several half gallon liquor bottles, several toilet tank lids, table legs, big ass iron frying pan, hanging plant pots, lamps (table and floor), my old fraternity red brick that I could tie to a rope/power cord, upright vacuum cleaner ...

 

That's just off the top of my head.

 

Edit: Ack, no knives, ignore that.

Edited by Bongo Fury
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Well, it's cheating but I have a workbench in the basement with all sorts of deadly walker slayers, including a mattock, pulaski & mcleod that are waiting to be sharpened.

https://www.forestrytools.com.au/index.php?id=464

But to maintain the spirit of your contest I'll ignore the basement. 

 

 a meat cleaver. A fire poker next to the fireplace, a baseball bat in a closet as well as ski poles and golf clubs. There's a small claw hammer in the junk drawer. 

 

In the unconvential category; several half gallon liquor bottles, several toilet tank lids, table legs, big ass iron frying pan, hanging plant pots, lamps

 

Well, damn...you're loaded for bear!

"big ass iron frying pan" is the only type to own---even when there isn't a ZA.

Wow, I honestly never even realized the potential of a toilet tank lid. Yeah, that would leave a mark wouldn't it? :-)

 

Several half-gallon liquor bottles, huh? Oh yeah you are definitely one of us,

 

ETA: I want everything on the list in your link!

Edited by kikismom
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6 dining chair backs with pointy finials can be turned into 12 spears in a few seconds.  Stained glass lamps with long pointy finials.  Umbrellas.  1950s desk phone and fan - they are solid and HEAVY, as are all the old things my place is filled with.  Silver serving platters, heavy crystal, glass doorknobs, blocks & bottles, railway lanterns, Samsonite luggage, miniature old wood stove - everything heavy I can throw or hit with.  Old fishing poles. Ball peen hammer.  (My trust recliner-side machete & hatchet are disqualified, but I'll keep them handy). Those are just the items I can see from my recliner - I'm too lazy to get up and check the kitchen or any of the bedrooms and garage - they're filled with junk, too.  Why yes, I DO live in a semi-hoarder home.  I KNEW some of that shit would come in handy some day.  :-)

 

Ooh - right outside my window are the wind chimes.  One of them is massive, with chimes about 5' long; they'd make awesome spears.

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  Stained glass lamps with long pointy finials. 

I have an old stained glass lamp that was my great-great Aunt Dora's on my nightstand. Night before last I caught my arm on the cord and brought it down on my head, pointy brass finial first. You know it---those were not painted brass or plated brass, those suckers are like dropping a clothes iron on your skull. I saw the most beautiful gold sparkly comets across my vision for a few minutes, finally understood the expression "I saw stars when I got hit" or those cartoons where they draw spinning stars and planets and make the kazoo noise. I didn't put it next to my bed for a weapon but hey--serendipity rules!

 

If the ZA doesn't come, will you promise to notify me if you have a garage/yard sale? Sounds like pretty good pickins to me!

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kikismom: Hah - those lamps are heavy as hell, and the floor lamps can stab at one end and smash a skull with the base (actually, the big table lamps can, too). 

 

I promise if I can ever afford a camera and start liquidating my crap online (which I've been meaning to do for years), y'all can have first dibs.  There's a ton of jewelry that somebody should be wearing.  The sparkling stones could distract a walker, and it never hurts to look glamorous when you're killing zombies. :-D

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The sparkling stones could distract a walker, and it never hurts to look glamorous when you're killing zombies. :-D

Too bad Glenn didn't know about you--he could have got Maggie something decent instead of the TWD "He got it at Jared's!" --JustAnotherRottingEvilDeadSlut's.

 

I like to think those fishing poles could be used to cast something sharp and heavier than a fish hook; say a glass doorknob on the end of the line cast toward a walker's head. Fun as well.

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Several half-gallon liquor bottles, huh? Oh yeah you are definitely one of us,

 

Who wants to be running out to the store all the time? So buy in bulk. Speaking of which, the Kirkland vodka you can get at Costco comes in a great zombie bashing bottle, probably 18" long minimum. And it's yummy to boot.

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Okay, let's have a contest:

  • No firearms allowed; for fun's sake let's presume you can't find one or you can't find ammo. (I don't know why that would be "fun" but still.)
  • No knives, swords, bayonets, machetes,....they've all been stuck in some walker's head by now.
  • In just the interior of your house right now, what would be weapons? No going out to the garage, or the tool shed, or Cabela's. Just your house.
  • You and your peeps have been cornered by a walker herd in a Walgreen's. Weapons?
  • Trapped in a Petsmart. All the animals are dead. Defense?
  • After losing your weapons, you found an unlocked door at a ToysRUs store; but the hundreds of biters that chased you from the vet college are breaking in.  Grab something!
Choose one, or suggest another. Solve it with at least one improvised weapon you could use seriously enough to save your life.

I'm not just being goofy; but enough uniforms in my family always reminded me to look around and see things you could use. (i.e. what could you do with a shopping cart? Where should you hit someone with a soap on a rope? Office: that electronic check stamper--heavy as a rock on a nice length cord---swing for the cheap seats!)

 

 

Okay going with the house - and for fun, I'll skip the toolboxes full of death (screwdrivers, wrenches, hammers, etc.) in my den closet - too easy:

  • Brass standing pole lamp - knock off the fixture end and it would make a great spear.
  • Any long breakable bottle (thank you Steely Dan for introducing me to Cuervo Gold).
  • Steel cookware with metal handles.
  • Kitchen chairs - lots of wood spindles.
  • Coat rack - a little heavy, but serviceable in a pinch.
  • Letter openers.
  • Artificial Christmas tree (solid rod central core).
  • Lighters and lighter fluid.
  • Umbrella.
  • Long wood spindles out of the framing around the entrance to the dining room.
  • Golf clubs.  Almost forgot about those.  Be nice to get some use out of them, considering I haven't dusted them off in a few years.
  • And if all else fails, there's always ink pens.  Helluva good puncture weapon, if you have nothing else.

 

We do have fun fantasizing about ideal weapons. But in a ZA there's a lot of times you have to improvise. (I'm still not sure I buy Maggie just plucking a metal sign like a daisy but visually it was variety at least.

Yeah, I thought the same thing; that big-ass concrete ball they're usually set with as a footing would be a tad cumbersome.

 

CDB stopped cleaning firearms back at the prison, and the way they use knives to hack at doors and cut firewood makes me a bit leery.)

Oh GOD that never fails to tick me off.  Never EVER disrespect your weapons or other tools.  That was drilled into me at an early age, hard.  Did I neglect to mention my father was a drill sergeant?  :)

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I can't imagine a weapon with which I wouldn't accidentally wound myself before I ever got near zombie one. I'd probably be least likely to hurt myself with a gun, providing I don't lose or damage my glasses within minutes of the apocalypse starting, because then I wouldn't even be able to tell which end to hold. Maybe just cover me with duct tape and outward facing railroad spikes, like an upright porcupine.

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  • Artificial Christmas tree (solid rod central core)

 

 

 Maybe just cover me with duct tape and outward facing railroad spikes, like an upright porcupine.

Now I've been contemplating a protective suit for some time; and the duct tape would work (as Milton proved) but you would die of overheating, especially in GA. Railroad spikes are long-lasting but a lot of weight.

But Tippi Blevins suggestion of a suit, and Nashville's mention of artificial Christmas trees got me thinking.

 

Make a suit out of the artificial Christmas tree branches. The old ones---like mine---have bendy wire branches. You could make a sort of cage around yourself, the walkers couldn't bite through it, yet it would be nice and breathable and lightweight and move with your body.

Bonus: It would also be nice camouflage if you stay in the woods, then you also have the center pole as a weapon as Nashville said.

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No knives, swords, bayonets, machetes,....they've all been stuck in some walker's head by now.

You sure I can't get to my iaitō?  I sure would love to point out to Mrs. Pootel that near two decades of practice finally paid off.  Sigh - fine.  A broom handle would make a perfectly acceptable jo and I'm pretty handy with that.  I've any number of stout walking sticks, excellent for braining.  Oh, and I've got a proper English croquet set, with solid wood mallets and 3 foot handles - they'd leave a mark.  My bocce set are heavy like cannon balls but you throw it once, it's gone (I assume).  I suppose you could put one in a stout sock and swing it like a morning star but it better be a good sock.

 

If the Walgren's is still stocked, I think I'd go for first for the flammable liquids, hoping to light a few walkers up and distract the others.  Next come the caustic fluids as I'm frantically trying to MacGyver some sort of explosive. Anything oily gets dumped on the floor in the hopes that walkers aren't as nimble as I but I'm not sure I have great hopes for this tactic.  It'd probably come down to using the weak, lightweight walking sticks as a last resort, but I'm pretty sure I'd soon be a walker myself.  

 

I'm guessing a similar scene would ensue at Petsmart, and probably take less time.  They'll have professional-style brooms so I'm back in the jo business, but poking that many walkers through the orbit (which is your gateway to the brain) takes room and time.  10, maybe 15 brains later and I'm getting bit.

 

ToysRUs presents some interesting opportunities.  Anything that makes noise, jumps around, or rolls would soon be doing just that, and hopefully the zombie hoard is sensory overloaded as I peddle the biggest bike they have right out the back.  I doubt they carry bats but if they do, I'd have one for swinging.  50-50 I make it out of that one but it's my own damn fault for hiding in a ToysRUs in the first place.

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I think even if I wasn't trapped in Toys-R-Us, I'd stop by and steal some SeeandSays, the farm one would be nice. Attach the toy to something solid and steady and out-of-reach, then attach the pull cord to a sapling bent down (pulled down) just enough for it to keep swaying (and pulling):

The cow says MOOOOOOOOOO

The pig says OINKSQUEAL OINKSQUEAL

Might be able to keep some of them lured away.

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now this is interesting/funny/scary:

 

This guy is making a "super powerful" crossbow that will need several hundred pounds of pull (which he will do with a winch) and is going to fire bolts made of rebar (!)

which he needs to be able to fire through a grizzly bear or a truck cab.

He says it will be a fun project with the grandchildren.

More startling is that there are apparently several other people who do this too.

https://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20120117035646AA56s25

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As an illustration of how much things have changed in just a few years:

For my final project in high school shop, I built a crossbow. 

The specs were for a unit with a 150 pound bow pull force, but I played with the design to get a 170 pound pull.

Back then, I got an "A".

Today, I'd be arrested for having a weapon on school grounds.

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Okay, let's have a contest:

  • No firearms allowed; for fun's sake let's presume you can't find one or you can't find ammo. (I don't know why that would be "fun" but still.)
  • No knives, swords, bayonets, machetes,....they've all been stuck in some walker's head by now.

 

  1. In just the interior of your house right now, what would be weapons? No going out to the garage, or the tool shed, or Cabela's. Just your house.

I have a hockey stick in every room of my apartment that would make a handy zombie-clubbing weapon. No cast-iron skillet, but my 12" nonstick pan would probably be good for cracking open a few skulls before the handle weld failed. If the attack happens in my living room I've got a papasan chair that I could use as a big shield/scoop to push a zombie out my front windows for a 20' drop onto concrete. My coat hook is actually a throwing star, so I could resort to that in a moment of desperation but I wouldn't bet much on my chances with it.

 

There's also a prominently displayed decoy sledgehammer that might buy me a moment's surprise against a living intruder when he finds out it's made of painted PVC pipe and styrofoam instead of wood and steel. (Let me tell you, people on the sidewalks in Las Vegas will give you a LOT of elbow room while carrying that thing, even on Halloween!)

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In terms of household items, maybe the metal pole lamp beside me; snap off the base. Even a keyboard across the face is something if you get snuck up on, to buy that extra moment. Hand the zombie one of those impossible to open without blood shed plastic shell wrapped items.....Do we know if zombies react to aerosol sprays? Would a face full to Raid spray slow them down or would their eyes not be bothered by it? This is a curiosity only. I suspect that wouldn't be all that effective since zombies are usually slow anyway. 

 

I'd be carrying a machette, rubber mallet and revolvers. Nice, easy to maintain revolvers. Firearms are hard on the hearing so I wouldn't shoot unless absolutely necessary. I suspect most people have limited ability to make the head shot, even at fairly close range against a slow lumbering zombie. Accurate shooting, even under well managed gun range conditions, is difficult for most. Torso shots are the most practical. Once down, a survivor can do the zombie double tap at their leisure if they wish. 

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I live across the street from a Circle K. Some of those grill items have possibilities. I mean, I'm certainly under no illusion that you could shatter a Walker skull with a hot dog, but once you get into the crispier items, like egg rolls and toranados and weird crunchy breakfast rolls that are still around at 10PM... those things could do some brain damage. They're also good for breaking windows, hammering nails, replacing bricks in a damaged prison watch tower, and, if accompanied by a sufficient amount of beer, can even be consumed as late night emergency rations.

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I live across the street from a Circle K. Some of those grill items have possibilities. I mean, I'm certainly under no illusion that you could shatter a Walker skull with a hot dog, but once you get into the crispier items, like egg rolls and toranados and weird crunchy breakfast rolls that are still around at 10PM... those things could do some brain damage. They're also good for breaking windows, hammering nails, replacing bricks in a damaged prison watch tower, and, if accompanied by a sufficient amount of beer, can even be consumed as late night emergency rations.

,

Cletus, you lost me at CircleK;  Yes they stock my brand of ciggies; but decades of dropping my beloved niece off at the CircleK down the street from my house for my dickwad half brother to pick up ,,,,,  well,  I've got issues.

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I tend to dodge Circle K. It frequently seems strange things are afoot there.

One summer off from college, I worked in a pharmacy. The pharmacist was Russian. He got many personal calls at work, from Russia, that involved screaming arguments. I had taken Russian studies one term to fill a requirement and I had learned a teensy bit of Russian (and how to play the balalaika) so one day I said something in Russian just for the fun of it. He whirled around so fast I thought he'd get whiplash, with his eyes all Lori-bugged-out, and I got scared when he asked if I knew Russian and so I said I was just goofing around. I didn't do that again

.

But it was too weird; he kept going on trips to Russia because he said he had to take snow tires to his brother.

 

He got big tires (and this was in Florida) and brought them in to the pharmacy because "there is more room to wrap them".

He kept taking tires to the very back set of med shelves---while we filled the customers scrips---so he could "package" tires to check as baggage on the plane.

 

I don't know how his brother kept needing so many tires.

 

Also---which seemed squirrely--he used to be employed at the World Bank. I hadn't guessed they used pharmacists there but what do I know.

I was glad to go back to school and never went to that pharmacy again.

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(edited)

I suppose this is as good a place to vent as any.

The way Coral was carrying his knife when he checked out that house bothered me, in a way that Daryl also using a reverse-grip underhand position does not.

Daryl goes into a situation with some semblance of a fighting crouch, and his blade is usually aggressively angled to gut-stab or hand-cut anybody who tries to grab it from him. It's not technically martial-arts perfect, and neither are anybody's moves in an actual real life fight. I buy it. Daryl is probably the only member of the group who learned much about knife fighting before zombies were a factor.

Most of the others are trained for zombies, not humans, and I buy that, too. Wear your knife on the right hip (if right handed,) and when a zombie attacks, draw fast, draw high, and do... pretty much the traditional reverse-grip overhand stab, Jason Voorhes style. A zombie doesn't respond to fear or pain, so you just want to get your blade from sheath to brain as quickly as possible.

Carl's grip was neither fish nor fowl. He just sort of held it limply near his wiener. If a zombie, or human, had rushed in on him, either from the front or the side, and his arm wound up pressed against his body, his knife would have done no damage whatsoever. If he was lucky.

Edited by CletusMusashi
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Upon further reflection, I'm trading in the shillelagh for a San Angelo bar.

If you've ever used one, you know how lethal it can be for either a stab OR a swing.

 

Just as an FYI/demonstration - last week we had several cold weather spells move through here, the end result of which was a 3" thick solid layer of ice over EVERYTHING.

Shovels, hammer, chisels - nothing was clearing this mess before spring thaw, it didn't appear. 

Until I broke out the San Angelo. 

It was the only thing which would penetrate the ice, and it delivered enough shock force to crack the ice sheets.

Had my steps and front walk cleared in under a half-hour.

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I think Alexandria should have armored guards whenever there's a big construction project going on outside the walls. They should have guns, sure, but not rely on them as much as the ASZhats we've seen thus far do. There are plenty of other weapons that were used on the battlefield for quite a while during the gunpowder era. For example, I think it's time to bring back the halberd. For those who aren't weapons-geeky enough.. a halberd is a very long axe on which the head has been jazzed up a bit with both a spear blade and a back-spike. It usually had a slightly pointed metal "shoe" reinforcing the butt end, which is a weapons feature that goes all the way back to Roman times. Less prone to getting bent by the ground or poking your friend in the leg, but still deadly if rammed down against a skull. Halberds were much lighter than people tend to assume, because with that much leverage even a small axe blade is devastating. They were designed with speed, strength, and versatility in mind, and were also much cheaper to manufacture than swords.

 

Wood is still plentiful, and scrap metal is everywhere, and if a halberd could kill armored knights it can sure as hell kill zombies. OK fine, so you need half a dozen workers from someplace else, but these people don't really seem to be suffering from a lack of leisure time. And you wouldn't have to worry about a construction crew all busy at work suddenly finding a herd of zombies among them, and wondering how to shoot without accidentally hitting each other. Riot armor, a close range belt weapon like a hatchet or dagger, a good halberd, and a gun just in case. Standing around in the shade with that would usually be a pretty easy gig, You could even use the halberd as a staff to lean on if you were feeling lazy. And if/when you did have to fight, you'd be rested and well-equipped. 

 

I understand perfectly well why everybody on the road doesn't wear armor when it's a hundred degrees out. But as a security shift before going back home for a shower and cold beer? There are way worse jobs than that. Case in point: try watching your own back while building a huge frigging wall!

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I agree with you that the construction crew, and really any group working outside the walls, should have a security detail protecting them. ASZ needs a team of their best killers to clear the area around the settlement and to provide security for various operations.

 

But I gotta disagree with you on a halberd as a anti-walker weapon. The halberd and all polearms were designed to defeat the heavily armored knights. As you say, the long length of the weapon gives incredible leverage which allows a peasant force to penetrate the armor of the times. That sort of weapon isn't needed against walkers. And the long length of the weapon can be unwieldy against walkers. Sure you'd get that first swing in and do big damage, but to recover from the swing and get the next swing going will leave you vulnerable to other walkers. Something a little more limber might be a better choice.

 

I liked Glenn with the pitchfork in S3 when they took the prison. He skewered the walker with the fork and held it in place under control while someone else finished it off. I think that sort of control and safety is really what you're looking for when fighting walkers. Individually they aren't a big threat, as long as something unexpected doesn't happen, so I think the emphasis should be on controlling the situation. So I'd go for a pitchfork, or maybe a spear with a cross piece so the walker can't slide down the shaft and get you. 

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