S01.E09: Pooch Party

[OnceSane]

 

Gina enlists the help an exclusive dating agency and Chyka hosts an elaborate pooch party for the girls and their canine friends – but when tension mounts between Gina and Andrea, will an all out dogfight ensue?

 

[quetzal]

Clearly some Australian ladies don't understand the concept of a "cc" in an email.

[Primetimer]

Janet tells Gina that Lydia told her that Gina told Lydia that Janet said Lydia is brainless.

Read the story

[heebiejeebie]

Everyone's face has two sides and neither truly matches the other.  But damn.  Lydia and her Bride of Pop-in-Fresh Dough face has always stuck out as being off-sided as it were.  So why does she then do that weird off sided part to emphasize it?  She looked slight Elephant Manish.  then when she rolled her eyes during the previews for the next episode?  Did she have some kind of surgery that caused some kind of separation of conjoined reflexes?  Because that was weirdly hideous.

 

Ladies, ladies ladies.  The more you name drop and price drop the less sure of your own worth, let alone comfort with money and luxury you appear.  Talk about trying way to hard to sell a lifestyle that none of them seem at relaxed ease with their commentary pretends to.  All of them in some manner seemed so crass.  Nouveau without the riche.

 

Jackie and her little pug in a suit.  He really manages to insert himself in almost every single scene they shot at their house don't they?  He is so white knuckling every chance to appear in front of a camera if poor Jackie died in the middle of a season's shooting I swear he would run out and get a sex change and demand they honor whatever remains of her contract.  He really is a repulsive little blob of a man.  But in a giggle prompting way.  And even more than its' first appearance, that "painting" Jackie and he did looks like a Teletubbie crime scene.  

 

 

Janice really is a scary looking woman. If she paid anything for any part of that nose of hers, she was the victim of fraud. 

[archer1267]

I do wonder why Lydia and Andrea were the only HWs cc'ed on that email. I'm guessing that Gina thought they'd be the most likely to tell tales about her partner? 

 

Re Lydia's intelligence resembling a box of rocks, I wish so much someone would tell Lydia "if the shoe fits…"

[EtheltoTillie]

Okay, I can't help myself.  Andrea just doesn't stand up straight!  It looks awful whenever they show that opening clip of her hitting a tennis ball.  And other times.

 

I struggle with posture, and other things, but that's a reason, among many, I wouldn't put myself on TV!

 

Andrea also has a low-class accent:  She adds that Boston R at the end of words, e.g., she pronounces Chyka as "cheeker" and Gina as "jeaner," and so on.

 

That is all.

Edited September 21, 2014 by GussieK

[HunterHunted]

Oh bless. When Chyka was talking about going shopping at West Elm, I kept thinking West Elm district? West Elm Street? Nope, West Elm the store. Imagine how wowed these women would be by Crate and Barrel, Pottery Barn, or Restoration Hardware.

I kind of think Gina is an asshole for pulling her proxy tit for tat with Janet, but really Lydia is an idiot. Flying in a plane is very different from flying it. Also Janet's face looks like Kylie Minogue's ghost of surgeries yet to come.

I don't think these women know anything about the Melbourne Cup other than it's iconic. I kept waiting for an explanation of what it was.

Jackie and Ben continue to be besotted deluded idiots.

Edited September 21, 2014 by HunterHunted

[EtheltoTillie]

Chyka looked to be at a loss for words when asked for an opinion on the Mascara packaging. I think she struggled to avoid saying it was a train wreck. The launch party was scheduled for two weeks hence? And they had no product? WTF?

[ichbin]

Oh, Lydia!  All of that business regarding her housekeeper made her look like an even bigger ass.  As though it is thanks to her that her housekeeper was able to give money to her family so that they could buy farmland.  No Lydia, that was due to the hard work and sacrifice of your employee, who is paid for doing a job which includes having to put up with you as well.  House friend!   What a "c-word".

 

Even though I suspect Gina's date was all for the cameras, it was nice to see a mature woman on a date and not behaving like an aggressive cougar.

[poeticlicensed]

That pooch party was ridic. But I was LOL. Sorry Janet, those didn't look like LV dog carriers to me. Janet is a shit stirring bitch isn't she. She gossips and blames Gina. What a bitch. I think the peroxide and botox have seeped into her brain

 

Lydia is dim and dumb. Really, she met her housekeeper on the street? Oy

 

I covet the outfit Chyka had on at the pooch party. Just goes to show you don't need bling and fur to look classy and beautiful. But all the women tottering around in 5 inch stilletos makes them look silly. 

 

I can't figure out if Ben and Jackie are just stupid or deluded or both. Those boxes were horrible. And they have spent more time planning the launch party than they have actually developing a product. 

 

Gina's blind date was totally for the camera. I have read she is back with her "partner" anyway. Her use of green eyeliner is very distracting. 

 

Andrea is an asshole and everytime she sits in a short skirt I can totally see her cellulite. 

Edited September 21, 2014 by poeticlicensed

[poeticlicensed]

La Mascara is quickly becoming the She by Sheree of the RHOM. Launch party with no product. 

[pasdetrois]

The Let's Hate Gina storyline is boring. I'm FFing through all of it at this point.

 

Loved Chyka's hair style at the pooch party. Much better than when she scrapes it back into that teeny ponytail.

 

Lydia speaking - any time - reminds me of live TV with seven-second delay. With Lydia, it's the delayed connection between her peanut brain and her mouth. You can see the exhausted brain cells desperately trying to push something clever out to her mouth.

 

I'm assuming that there must have been recorded gossip about Gina's partner, and he and Gina fired off the email to be sure it didn't get aired. And cc'ed the women who did the gossiping.

Edited September 24, 2014 by pasdetrois

[Baltimore Betty]

I am not sure how but I get a headache from all of those women wearing skin tight clothing.

 

Loved the recording studio scene of Jackie and Janet dancing, it was such an Ab Fab moment!  They could not look more like twits if they tried.  I do think Janet could be on her way surgically to resembling the late, great Joan Rivers.  Gina still amazes me, the hair and make up stuns and not in a good way.  She looks like a "before" from a make over show Oprah would have done.

West Elm is a nice store, so terribly retail.  I will stick with Home Goods.

 

I want an Italian Greyhound so bad I could watch the dog party on mute.

 

[QuinnM]

I think Janet got some bad surgery.  The fillers in her cheeks are actually not symmetical.  It's like she slept on one side and it moved.  Poor thing she is trying so hard.  I find it hard to believe that she is a long time friend of Gina.  She runs to the others with details of their conversation but just refuses to accept that Gina did the same thing.  

 

And poor Lydia.  She really is brainless.  For her to just accept that Janet didn't call her brainless she simply said she was very nice.  And Lydia is all like oh well that's different.  No, Lydia, no it's not different the woman called you stupid.  Maybe it's just me but I'd rather be a cunt than stupid.

 

And now we are down to it.  None of this has anything to do with what Gina said it has to do with the email.  Andrea wants an apology over the email.  Don't hold your breath.  

 

One more episode until a reunion.  How will I ever wait till season two.

And what will I ever do to hire a nanny now that Andrea is not returning.

[mothmonsterman]

I wanted to choke Jackie when she told Ben he would have to sell more records if the La Mascara thing didn't work out.  How dismissive of her.  I would have loved to hear what he had to say after that, but they just cut-away.

[kassa]

His reaction showed me for the first time that the marriage is doomed -- he got a glimpse of it, that she sees his career as an ATM machine, and when it stops spitting out the cash, she'll be gone.  Forget shine shine shine and all the angels and positivity...she served notice that any bad financial decisions will set squarely on his shoulders.

 

That said, she's grown on me a lot. 

 

I don't think these women know anything about the Melbourne Cup other than it's iconic. I kept waiting for an explanation of what it was.

 

 

I watched the show and still don't know if it's tennis, yachting, or some kind of horse event, so they're in good company.

 

Lydia was totally inflating her "house friend's" role - she began her soundbite with "my hired help" and ended with house friend.  Meanwhile, the poor girl looked like she was trying to play along and keep up with the wink wink instructions Lydia was giving her, pretending she lays out her clothes for her (and puts them away, because Madame is too busy, etc.), when in actuality she usually just swiffers and gets the grocery shopping done.  

 

 

 

One of the most hilarious housewives exchanges in ANY franchise, anywhere (paraphrased)

 

"She says you said I was brainless!"
"No,  I said I didn't think you were very bright."

Edited September 22, 2014 by kassa

[EtheltoTillie]

I watched the show and still don't know if it's tennis, yachting, or some kind of horse event, so they're in good company.

 

 

 

 

 

One of the most hilarious housewives exchanges in ANY franchise, anywhere (paraphrased)

 

"She says you said I was brainless!"

"No,  I said I didn't think you were very bright."

1)  I looked up Melbourne Cup on Wikipedia.  It seems to be equivalent to the Kentucky Derby.

2)  agreed--one of the most hilarious exchanges ever.

[TexasGal]

Lydia is such a sheep to Andrea. After she confronted Janet (nice use of the flashback, btw, editors!) and Andrea said "the difference is you're owning it Janet" then all Lydia could talk about was "owning it."

Figaro is very cute. He did rock the outfits!

[fliptopbox]

Jackie's comments to Ben about if La Mascara fails were very telling. It just proved everything I thought about her in the first place is true. She sees him as a meal-ticket and an ATM and nothing else. She loves being married to a rock star, but if he suddenly gets into a bad financial situation (which would most likely be at least in part Jackie's fault) she'd divorce him so fast his head would spin.

[mothmonsterman]

The sad part about it was you could see Ben searching Jackie's face for any sign that she understood how awful what she was saying was or for a sign she didn't really mean it.

[fliptopbox]

I also find it funny Jackie says she used to work in banking. You'd think she would have picked up some money managing tips, or at the very least have some contacts of who to call in order to make wise money decisions. But no, instead we rely solely on directions from the angels!

[demarti]

I hate these women! Except for Gina and Chyka, lol. So it's perfectly ok to talk shit about a "friend" as long as you "own it", Janet comes out once again smelling like a rose and these bitches can't wait to somehow twist it into being Gina's fault. It's not just Lydia that is an idiot in my opinion. We can add Andrea, Jackie and Janet to the list of those missing more than a few brain cells.  

[archer1267]

Andrea also has a low-class accent:  She adds that Boston R at the end of words, e.g., she pronounces Chyka as "cheeker" and Gina as "jeaner," and so on.

 

This is not peculiar to Boston alone, but is common in different British dialects. I've noticed another one of the housewives saying "Jeaner," and think it may have been Lydia (?).

 

I've also wondered about Andrea's pronunciation of "peninsula" ("peninshula") but figured that was an Aussie thing.

[sasha206]

I also find it funny Jackie says she used to work in banking. You'd think she would have picked up some money managing tips, or at the very least have some contacts of who to call in order to make wise money decisions. But no, instead we rely solely on directions from the angels!

 

 

Amen.  Ben isn't quite the dummy I thought he was but he gets steamrollered by Jackie.  And Jackie has grown on me, I can't help it!  

 

And I f***ing LOVE Gina.  That is one tough broad.  

[Neurochick]

What was in that email Gina sent?

If Gina was so tough, she wouldn't need to wear that shit on her face.

Gina said she's what, 47? I wonder how many years she's been that age.

Edited September 24, 2014 by Neurochick

[fliptopbox]

Supposedly the email was about the other girls talking about Gina's partner on camera. I guess she emailed production about it so they wouldn't air any of that footage because her partner did not want to be mentioned on air. She cc'd the others so they knew about it, and (probably) so they'd keep their mouths shut. I also think there may have been threats of legal action. But I don't know that for sure.

[sasha206]

I would love to see Gina with a serious make-under. She has such beautiful skin, pretty eyes and gorgeous smile.  

[RedKoolAide]

Janet looks like a geriatric version of one of those 1950's Barbie dolls. Her face looks so bad. It's a like a combo of hard partying and bad plastic surgery ruined her face. I'm still trying to understand what Gina personally did to Janet to justify her level of anger toward her. I don't get it.

Andrea is a humorless bore. Her and Lydia are mean girls.

Jackie is so gone if Ben ever goes broke. She's shallow and kind of mean under all of her "shine, shine, shine" bs.

Chyka and Gina seem to be the only ones with more than two brain cells to rub together.

Those dogs eat better than most humans.

[judylo]

Neurochick, I get that you don't like Gina ... and I have my reservations. But yeah, I think she may well be 47.

[heebiejeebie]

 

Janet looks like a geriatric version of one of those 1950's Barbie dolls. Her face looks so bad. It's a like a combo of hard partying and bad plastic surgery ruined her face. I'm still trying to understand what Gina personally did to Janet to justify her level of anger toward her. I don't get it.

 

I think Janet is just a mean cowardly famewhore.  She sees Gina is on the outside of pretty much all the women.  Chyka refuses to pick a side.  The rest have.  I think Janet is jumping ship to what she sees as the non-sinking vessel.  And she knows it.  And in typical narcissistic asshole fashion she is going all out in hopes no one realizes it is on Janet.  Janet figures if she goes all out for the cameras no one will see through this self-interest,  Self-absorbed walking sets of genitals always think if they scream and yell something loud and often enough it will be accepted as the truth.

 

I get that as a man I might not have a full understanding of makeup.  I think it does mean Gina has issues.  It is how she deals or arms herself against the world.  We all have those issues and deal with them differently.  And from a subjective view I find it less than appealing.  But I just find the idea that with makeup, no matter how ridiculously excessive I find hers, becomes an all or nothing matter.  I think Gina can be very tough in many or even most of the aspects of her life and still look ridiculous in terms of her maquillage.  Is makeup that definitive for you ladies on the board?  I think it defines how Gina wants others to see her and she has a blind spot in that regard.  But I also think it could be a clever deflection. Just like some people wear ridiculous hair or have piercings or tattoos that serve to distract.  It doesn't so much mean they are tough no matter how insecure, some of the meanest toughest people I think wallow in insecurities.  Hell Hitler and Stalin and Dick Cheney.  But rathey they wear their coping mechanisms on their sleeves.  I think Gina can be and is ridiculous in her makeup and still one of the toughest women I have seen on one of these carnival freak shows. 

 

ETA: the matter of Gina and her makeup is not aimed at anyone or either side in particular I just wanted to air my own opinion and get a sense what anyone on either side of the matter might think or perhaps why.  Overall I think everyone has said something I agree with on the matter. 

Edited September 24, 2014 by heebiejeebie

[archer1267]

If Gina was so tough, she wouldn't need to wear that shit on her face.

 

 

Well, someone had shared an article about her in another thread, in which Gina shared that make-up was a way for her to deal with her cancer. An excerpt:

 

"Make-up was also the crutch she used while battling cancer. The worse she felt, the more she put on….Gina admits that even the harsh realities of battling cancer - losing her hair, her mouth filling with painful ulcers, her skin turning a depressing shade of grey - didn’t rob her of vanity.

“If I was feeling like death I would just bleach my teeth more, or get my nails done,” she recalls, laughing. "There were days when my skin was grey. I refused to accept that. I was defiant…."

 

I haven't had any firsthand experience with cancer (knock on wood), nor has anyone close to me. I don't want to judge what people do to help themselves get through it, nor do I think there's a "right way" to deal with it. Gina's style isn't my personal taste, but after reading the article, my mind changed from "what the hell is that woman wearing?" to "whatever gets you through the day, honey." I know I feel a lot more confident in myself when I've spent time on my hair and makeup in the morning.

Edited September 24, 2014 by archer1267

[Duke2801]

I haven't had any firsthand experience with cancer (knock on wood), nor has anyone close to me. I don't want to judge what people do to help themselves get through it, nor do I think there's a "right way" to deal with it. Gina's style isn't my personal taste, but after reading the article, my mind changed from "what the hell is that woman wearing?" to "whatever gets you through the day, honey." I know I feel a lot more confident in myself when I've spent time on my hair and makeup in the morning.

 

 

Yes.  All of this. 

 

If Gina was so tough, she wouldn't need to wear that shit on her face.

 

 

Errr...huh?? I'm failing to see what the connection between makeup and being "tough" is.  So only the truly toughest of us women go around bare-faced every day?  

 

And Gina looks her age, imo. 

 

Even though I suspect Gina's date was all for the cameras, it was nice to see a mature woman on a date and not behaving like an aggressive cougar.

 

 

Right on.  Not to mention that I found her date to be extremely attractive.  I don't know if I could have been so restrained myself!  Rowwrr!

[larapu2000]

I haven't had any firsthand experience with cancer (knock on wood), nor has anyone close to me. I don't want to judge what people do to help themselves get through it, nor do I think there's a "right way" to deal with it. Gina's style isn't my personal taste, but after reading the article, my mind changed from "what the hell is that woman wearing?" to "whatever gets you through the day, honey." I know I feel a lot more confident in myself when I've spent time on my hair and makeup in the morning.

 

Yeah, for sure.  My mom got a mastectomy at 55 and if I were her, I would have just let it be, but she was insistent on an implant.  She was also really into wigs, even when her hair had grown back to a pretty cute length on her.  A lot of the treatments can just take away so many things that you probably don't realize make you feel feminine, pretty, attractive, whatever. 

 

I think the women continuing to mock her makeup is because they just know that if she ever changed it up to a more flattering look, everyone could see how shitty their plastic surgery REALLY is.

[kassa]

'm still trying to understand what Gina personally did to Janet to justify her level of anger toward her. I don't get it.

 

 

I suspect a lot of conflict in the first season of these Housewives shows is caused by the "I'm the Mary, YOU'RE the Rhoda" syndrome.  I think the producers purposely convince a couple of the women that they will be the stars of the show around whom the series will be built, and they come into it truly believing that.  And then Rhoda has the gall to arrive late to their function, or make a snotty comment.  Clearly, she needs to come down a peg.  Meanwhile, THAT woman thinks SHE's Mary and  can't believe that the other woman (who SHE thinks is Rhoda) is trying to upstage her on her own show, and decides she needs to come down a peg.

 

And then it's on.  

[DeeplyShallow]

Jackie and her little pug in a suit. He really manages to insert himself in almost every single scene they shot at their house don't they? He is so white knuckling every chance to appear in front of a camera if poor Jackie died in the middle of a season's shooting I swear he would run out and get a sex change and demand they honor whatever remains of her contract. He really is a repulsive little blob of a man. But in a giggle prompting way. And even more than its' first appearance, that "painting" Jackie and he did looks like a Teletubbie crime scene.

Yes to this! Man, I find Ben to be so annoying. And, are they pronouncing La Máscara wrong? I noticed the accent over the 'a' on their boxes. Should the 1st syllable be emphasized?

Janet is beyond ridiculous and her desperation to stay relevant on this show is so obvious, it's embarrassing.

Edited September 28, 2014 by DeeplyShallow

[MitaJo]

One of the most hilarious housewives exchanges in ANY franchise, anywhere (paraphrased)

"She says you said I was brainless!"

"No,  I said I didn't think you were very bright."

 

Made even better when they show the clip of Janet actually using the word "brainless". Apparently it's okay for everyone else to talk about Gina behind her back but when she does it, it's the WORST THING EVAH!

[Diane Mars]

@MitaJo : Wait a little... you'll be delighted, I promise ;)

[TexasGal]

I think it was this episode that they went to the Melbourne Cup party? When Lydia whispered to Jackie (I think) "we 're the stars" with that smug look on her face I just wanted to smack her. She is really irritating.