S17.E01: Mile-High Matrimony

[Emma Snyder]

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In Denver Colorado, ten singles take the plunge to marry strangers, sight unseen, in two weeks.  Among them, an inexperienced bride questions her decision, while a groom's girthy secret shocks everyone.  The countdown to the weddings is on, filled with surprises, doubts, and one shocking Altar-cation.

Airs Wednesday October 18 at 8:00PM EDT.

[Crashcourse]

Well, I watched the first hour and I'm not even interested enough in these couples to comment.

I'm out.

[Meowwww]

One reply?   I get it.  I felt for the guy left at the altar but they didn’t show us what happened or offered any way to get emotionally attached.  Boring. 

[Ms.C.]

If he really wants love and marriage, why present himself like a psycho?   I wonder if he had any relationships before?  Accepting him was a HUMONGOUS mistake.  He is not what any woman wants to be surprised by.   If no relationships with his current appearance, he really needs to self reflect.  There are creative ways to still look normal. Thinking the goofy couple- can’t recall names.  

Edited October 19, 2023 by Ms.C.
Added thought

[Lurk]

I'm 14 minutes in and it isn't holding my attention. I'll try to watch it over the weekend. The beginning was so odd, just randomly showing "stood up guy" getting stood up with no real intro to the show or anything. I don't even remember if we heard a voiceover at the beginning of Pasto Cal's "for the first time in MAFS history...." Just so randomly odd.

[Ms.C.]

Almost theater.  
 

Got Orion mixed with Michael briefly. Orion attractive.  The Native American thing could be really intriguing.   

Edited October 19, 2023 by Ms.C.
Added thoughts

[kristen111]

3 minutes ago, Ms.C. said:

If he really wants love and marriage, why present himself like a psycho?   I wonder if he had any relationships before?  Accepting him was a HUMONGOUS mistake. 

I agree.  Out of all the applicants, they pick him?  I didn’t care for the bride tonight.  She’s a drinker and party girl, and looks like she would be hard to live with.  A little brash.  The groom said divorce is out, so maybe he will have his hands full.  I read somewhere that the three experts have nothing to do with the picking.  I never cared for the advice they give either.  Snooping in underwear draws was ridiculous.  What does that mean anyhow?

[Ms.C.]

I’ve heard same.  Hate to say it but he may be the joke of this season.  (Producers joke)  M

[Ms.C.]

@Lurk.  Maybe the novelty wearing off.  I did like last year’s couples.  Mostly.  But wasn’t sitting on edge of seat then either.  

Curious.   I feel like I’m watching a lot of repeat.  Tou?

[Ms.C.]

“I’m trying to find out why the experts matched us.”  LOL,  This show such a fraud.  But I’m wa tching.  🤣

[LennieBriscoe]

Michael has zero self-awareness. The "experts" destroyed what little credibility  they had with this choice. Girth or no girth. 

Orion isn't much better. In any case, his bride should have been paired with a Black King, and no, the "experts'" disclaimer that Denver isn't "diverse" doesn't cut it. 

Party Blonde Bride is definitely  not ready for a Never-Divorce Groom. (His lack of socks with a tux was a really bad look.)

Which brings me to the Bachelor and Bachelorette parties. Repulsively vulgar. 

 

Edited October 19, 2023 by LennieBriscoe

[primadonna]

I have made it through all the previous seasons and NEVER "threatened"to stop watching, but this season is already unbearably uncomfortable. I wonder what's happened to Denver to spawn such a group of weirdos.  California, I would expect this.  

[lu1535]

Last night's episode had my head spinning. It was so fast with the wedding I'm afraid I missed something. We didn't see her dress shop or her getting ready. Was this episode really just an hour or is my service screwing me? 🤔

[SabineElisabeth]

I can't even remember her name, but the blond bride who's never been in a relationship and always gets ghosted has an interesting friend group.  The only thing I could think of as they kept calling her completely self-absorbed - both to the camera and to her face - was, "With friends like these . . . "

[suzeecat]

To see Michael at the "altar" in that getup with the costume crown and sword, yeah, I'd bolt too.  It's OK to have quirks (Bennett and Amelia were both in on the joke), but on your wedding day you should at least try to bring some serious respect to the table.  MAFS thought that they were successful with Amelia and Bennett, but again, they were BOTH in on the joke - performance art!

I think blonde got ghosted in the past because she drank too much.  Perhaps all the participants were told to amp up the "weird" this season. 

[Empress1]

4 minutes ago, suzeecat said:

I think blonde got ghosted in the past because she drank too much.

Yeah, I was watching her at the bachelorette thinking that if this is how she acts on dates, it’s not that surprising that guys don’t stick around.

[LennieBriscoe]

3 hours ago, lu1535 said:

Last night's episode had my head spinning. It was so fast with the wedding I'm afraid I missed something. We didn't see her dress shop or her getting ready. Was this episode really just an hour or is my service screwing me? 🤔

We did see Party Girl Emily try on dresses, at about the 1-hour mark. Her sister and others accompanied her. We also saw  Brennan get his tux. Together this part was 8 minutes. 

This entire episode was 3 hours, 6 minutes.

But! After the initial 8:00--11:06 p.m. EST showing, the program was weirdly separated into a 1-hour episode followed by a 2-hour, 6-minute episode. So for some reason it seems your cable recorded only that 1-hour show. 😕

6 hours ago, primadonna said:

I have made it through all the previous seasons and NEVER "threatened"to stop watching, but this season is already unbearably uncomfortable. I wonder what's happened to Denver to spawn such a group of weirdos.  California, I would expect this.  

Denver = Oxygen deprivation. 😁

[kristen111]

3 hours ago, lu1535 said:

Last night's episode had my head spinning. It was so fast with the wedding I'm afraid I missed something. We didn't see her dress shop or her getting ready. Was this episode really just an hour or is my service screwing me? 🤔

Two hours.  They showed it all.  N.Y. here.  Then came Keisha with three of the girls talking nothing of value.  I didn’t even finish.  Total three hrs.

Edited October 19, 2023 by kristen111

[kristen111]

By the looks of his thread, people have bailed.  They put a nice guy that says he’ll never get divorced no matter hat, with a girl who loves to drink, and parties upside down with no panties on.  Yeah, that marriage will last, lol,  NOT.

Edited October 19, 2023 by kristen111

[Crashcourse]

11 hours ago, LennieBriscoe said:

Which brings me to the Bachelor and Bachelorette parties. Repulsively vulgar. 

Yeah, I wanted to throw up.  I've seen fun bachelor/ette parties, but this was unnecessarily vulgar.

Also, Brennan kind of got on my nerves constantly talking about being married for life.  I kept thinking, "Just wait until you have to deal with drunken Emily for the rest of your life."

[Elizzikra]

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If he really wants love and marriage, why present himself like a psycho?   I wonder if he had any relationships before?  Accepting him was a HUMONGOUS mistake.  He is not what any woman wants to be surprised by.   If no relationships with his current appearance, he really needs to self reflect.  There are creative ways to still look normal. Thinking the goofy couple- can’t recall names.  

Why should he change how he likes to present himself? A better option would be to match him with someone who embraces his love of fashion and accepts him for who he is. Not everyone judges someone on how they look. 

Also, at least per Keisha, the mystery bride had already made her decision to bolt before she walked down the aisle. If that is true, it had nothing to do with how he looked. I wish they would just be direct and tell us what happened, including whatever legal constraints are preventing us from seeing the bride or knowing anything about her.

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Party Blonde Bride is definitely  not ready for a Never-Divorce Groom. (His lack of socks with a tux was a really bad look.)

I couldn't tell if he was wearing pink socks or no socks at all but either way, I thought his pants were about an inch too short. I like him a lot though but I think that Emily is going to be too much "life of the party" for him.

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I can't even remember her name, but the blond bride who's never been in a relationship and always gets ghosted has an interesting friend group.  The only thing I could think of as they kept calling her completely self-absorbed - both to the camera and to her face - was, "With friends like these . . . "

Emily? I thought the same thing. And the one bridesmaid who was like "I hate to dish on her; I love her" and then proceeded to call her selfish - that was her maid of honor!

Edited October 19, 2023 by Elizzikra

[kristen111]

This thread usually has lots of pages.  Everyone bailed?  They are doing some crazy picking.  Drama.

[Real4real]

   Did they say what happened to the blond bride (Emily I think?) on the aftershow?  She looked like she was drunk and fell down the stairs.  Face red and blotchy, arm in a cast?

   Ima need some bleach after those bachelor/ette parties and the 'girth' conversation.  Totally wishing I could un-see/hear all that mess.

   I will never understand how some people think it is 'fun' to not remember what they did while they were drinking.

[Empress1]

15 hours ago, Ms.C. said:

Got Orion mixed with Michael briefly. Orion attractive.  The Native American thing could be really intriguing.   

They look alike enough that they could be brothers. I think Orion and Lauren could work if they’re equally receptive to exploring each other’s cultures. Lauren would prefer a Black man, I think, but Denver’s Black population is small (a quick search tells me it’s about 8% Black), as she noted. My best friend lives there so I’ve visited a bunch, and it’s definitely very white. Also kind of crunchy (the weed), and there’s an outdoorsy bro-y vibe too.

So sad for her that she lost her mom. I don’t know when this was filmed but the way she said “in April” makes me think it’s less than a year, which is no time at all.

Emily’s “friends” hate her, particularly the one with the big teeth who kept calling her selfish. Like, there’s a group chat without her in it. Emily is … kind of homely (the blonde doesn’t suit her), and also kind of annoying. I wasn’t crazy about her husband either, who apparently thinks staying in toxic situations is ideal?

4 hours ago, suzeecat said:

MAFS thought that they were successful with Amelia and Bennett, but again, they were BOTH in on the joke - performance art!

Amelia and Bennett were the same kind of artsy hippie type. They were a good match even though they didn’t work out. I felt this way about Mitch, the environmentalist - his environmentalism is such a big part of who he is that he needs to be with someone who is as all-in about it as he is. Similarly, Michael is a pretty specific type of guy who needs a pretty specific type of woman. He knows it too - he said something like “I know I’m a lot,” or “I know I present differently” or something. He doesn’t come across badly at all - he seemed really intelligent and nice and he also seemed to have friends who care deeply about him, which is a good sign. I’d be friends with him but his aesthetic doesn’t appeal to me.

15 hours ago, kristen111 said:

I read somewhere that the three experts have nothing to do with the picking.

I think they match from a producer-selected pool. I doubt Pastor Cal is DMing people on social media or messaging people on dating apps asking them to apply.

Edited October 19, 2023 by Empress1

[Rightside]

For about the last four seasons, I have been fast forwarding more and more!!  I can't even get into this season enough to fast forward it.

I did watch the wedding of Emily and Brennan. Agree with the other poster about the "no socks" wedding attire! UGH.

I kinda of like him but not so much with her. I can't even name the other couples!!

[Ilovepie]

13 hours ago, primadonna said:

I wonder what's happened to Denver to spawn such a group of weirdos.  California, I would expect this.  

Ironically, on the matchmaking special, one of the panel said he's in the wrong city - she thought he looks like he belongs in LA, and I have to agree. Did he give a crown and scepter to his bride as a gift? If not, what the heck? Didn't anyone tell him not to upstage the bride???? And if he did, maybe that made her back out - it's a little too Game of Thrones.... Was she at the bachelorette party and they edited her out???? Are we ever going to see this chick? I do feel kind of bad for him - rejected at first sight, but he is a weird choice for this show. Also, he looks way better with his hair pulled back.

I have taken a break from the last couple seasons, but I kind of missed it plus not much new on tv, so I'm going to give it a shot again. I'll probably bail after the honeymoon episodes - I haven't seen any spoilers for this season, but I will be checking and if nobody stays together, I usually end up losing interest. This group isn't inspiring much hope!

Emily looks like what you would get if Virginia and Clara had a baby. Platinum blonde and a vulgar party girl. Brennan seems nice, he deserves better and he is going to be upset when he finds himself divorced in a few weeks......

These people all seem mismatched. Maybe Austin and Pink Hair, but I don't know - he kind of gave off weird vibes at the bachelor party even though I don't blame him for not being into that stuff.

[cinsays]

thank God for fast forward...  i think maybe i caught 15 minutes total

sad for the guy who got stood up but a crown, messy hair, sword for your first impression? what was he thinking? 

platinum blond gal with dark tan, that;s not attractive and did i read above that she dances pantiless? how sweet

the should stop with the bachelor/ette parties - just trashy

i will give it another week but i think i am finally out

[seacliffsal]

I, too, pretty much fast-forwarded this episode.  The first hour was just a repeat of the match-making episode (more or less).  Yuck to the "parties"!  But I am glad that I watched Emily's friend talk about how Emily never thinks of anyone else and then immediately they have Pastor Cal talk about what a great match/marriage this will be.  

Okay, okay, okay, I need to say something positive...here it goes: I liked Emily's dress.  There!  I did it-something positive about this episode that seemed to last for days.

[Elizzikra]

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   Did they say what happened to the blond bride (Emily I think?) on the aftershow?  She looked like she was drunk and fell down the stairs.  Face red and blotchy, arm in a cast?

She didn't say. I thought her face looked sunburned and it started my pleas for the cast to wear sunscreen to start early. Usually I don't crank that up until the honeymoon episodes.

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These people all seem mismatched. Maybe Austin and Pink Hair, but I don't know - he kind of gave off weird vibes at the bachelor party even though I don't blame him for not being into that stuff.

See, so far I love him. He just seems like a normal guy and I really liked that he wasn't into the strippers (and gave his coat to one because she "looked cold"). I think if people are into that, fine - it's all legal and I don't really have a problem with it but I also think that he wasn't into it and was totally comfortable saying that he wasn't. 

[Racj82]

I enjoyed the premier. This show was never amazing television, but it does a good job of sparking conversations and introspection. 

I like that they get people for this show that are off the beaten path shall we say. We have plenty of bland, similar looking/acting people on these shows. Some diversity in not just race but lifestyles, values, etc. is always appreciated.

You just have to find people open to different types and not caught up on preferences.  

This show is also easy to fly through. That's what the dvr is for. Something I don't care about, I keep pushing.

My fear for the first rejection at the altar was that the bride would look down the altar and nope right on out of there without going down or saying anything to the groom. Thankfully we did not have that.

[Lurk]

23 hours ago, Ms.C. said:

@Lurk.  Maybe the novelty wearing off.  I did like last year’s couples.  Mostly.  But wasn’t sitting on edge of seat then either.  

Curious.   I feel like I’m watching a lot of repeat.  Tou?

I think every reality show adopts a formula for their contestants after a couple of successful seasons. Here they'll have the the bitchy one, the blonde, the doormat, the macho man, the I'm a lot, the eccentric, etc. It's their "formula" for picking people to be on the show. After a while every season of reality series seems like a repeat of previous seasons with slight differences.

I tried to watch again tonight from the start. I didn't make it much farther in. Blonde chick in the olive green nipple shirt with her vocal fry and up-speak (which her friends had as well), did me in. I couldn't even listen.

 

[Lindz]

20 hours ago, Empress1 said:

I wasn’t crazy about her husband either, who apparently thinks staying in toxic situations is ideal?

Ya. Super bizarre. He said that was aspirational. Maybe he's into quantity, not quality. Then his mother said he will continue the tradition of one marriage. 😬 He told his friends he'd stick it out. It was disturbing how many people brought up negative scenarios, but good on the couple to reject it & say they're focusing on the positive. I can't believe the first thing in her vows was that this was her first relationship. & HATE that she says she's been single all her 29 years. Like she could've been in a relationship since birth. QUIT THE DRAMATICS!!! I so wish they didn't show that extra shot of her during the bachelorette party. 🙈

[Lindz]

It's funny that both the bride & groom ran from the strippers & said they respect sex workers. 🤣 His mom's mouth wrinkles though. Very pronounced. 😬 This couple kind of reminds me of Brett & Ryan. Hope they don't end up like them. 🤷‍♀️

[Lindz]

Very strange opening. To start with the failed wedding was really confusing. I thought I'd missed something. I thought there was no telling friends & fam they're getting married, no dress/tux shopping, nor bachelor/bachelorette parties. Guess they didn't want any suspense around that wedding, but they shouldn't have opened with it. The parties were weird. They didn't show them meeting. Watch them air that dramatic wedding after all the others next episode. 🙄

[kristen111]

On 10/19/2023 at 12:39 AM, LennieBriscoe said:

Michael

Sorry screwed up. Talking about Mikes girth.  Who wants to know this?  Getting too raunchy here.

[Meowwww]

So question. The opening scene of the guy getting ditched at the wedding. Was that before what we saw on the rest of the show?  Or was it a future scene then they went back to the beginning?  

[Ilovepie]

20 hours ago, Elizzikra said:

See, so far I love him. He just seems like a normal guy and I really liked that he wasn't into the strippers (and gave his coat to one because she "looked cold"). I think if people are into that, fine - it's all legal and I don't really have a problem with it but I also think that he wasn't into it and was totally comfortable saying that he wasn't. 

I think the coat thing was what gave me the weird vibes - like fine if you don't want that, but that's her job - leave her to do it.

I think it's terrible that the show forces these gross parties on them. I wouldn't want my bachelorette party to be with a bunch of strangers and I definitely wouldn't want strippers. I miss when everyone did their own bachelor/bachelorette parties separately with their own family and friends.

[Crashcourse]

1 hour ago, Meowwww said:

So question. The opening scene of the guy getting ditched at the wedding. Was that before what we saw on the rest of the show?  Or was it a future scene then they went back to the beginning?  

They showed the opening scene of the guy getting ditched, then they flashed back to 14 (I think) days earlier when they showed his introduction and getting dressed for the wedding. 

[kikicat]

On 10/19/2023 at 9:53 AM, suzeecat said:

To see Michael at the "altar" in that getup with the costume crown and sword, yeah, I'd bolt too.

Crazy. Mr. A Lot was fairly attractive if you get rid of the goofy hair, the multiple earrings, the wacky style. I do appreciate a stylish man, not sure I'd want to live with it. Felt so bad for him, and of course the show had to make it appear as though the fault was on him. Mean, MAFS, very mean.

The herky jerky back-and-forth of the show was distracting. Why was the runaway bride edited out completely? They had a chance for a compelling story line, but fumbled the ball with that mess.

[kristen111]

3 hours ago, kristen111 said:

Sorry screwed up. Talking about Mikes girth.  Who wants to know this?  Getting too raunchy here.

I meant on the show of course.

[kikicat]

I know a show is losing it when I'm falling asleep during it (and I'm a night owl!). Some fans have asked for jumping straight into the weddings, but I prefer getting to know the cast first. Should have paid more attention to the two previous kick-off shows, I guess.

First couple already looking doubtful, oh joy. 

On 10/19/2023 at 5:45 PM, Ilovepie said:

Emily looks like what you would get if Virginia and Clara had a baby.

Perfect description, lol.

I woke up right in the middle of the girth reveal during the After Party apparently. Unless they'd mentioned it earlier? At least it went quickly, but still a big ick to that and the sleazy bach parties. I do not need to see quivering buttocks at 2:56 a.m. Not even my own.

[Elizzikra]

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It's funny that both the bride & groom ran from the strippers & said they respect sex workers. 

I don't disrespect sex workers but I also don't want my nose an inch away from a stranger's butthole.

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Sorry screwed up. Talking about Mikes girth.  Who wants to know this?  Getting too raunchy here.

In his limited defense, he said on AfterParty that he was so drunk that he didn't remember anything about the conversation. I'm hoping the producers prompted the guys to talk raunchy for that segment and he just exhibited really poor judgment. 

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They showed the opening scene of the guy getting ditched, then they flashed back to 14 (I think) days earlier when they showed his introduction and getting dressed for the wedding. 

I felt set up. I really dislike all the dress shopping and telling the family bullshit. I liked getting a wedding so soon and I think it could work to show a wedding, then then show in flashback a little bit of the shopping/telling the family/etc. I liked the satisfaction of seeing at least one ceremony (such that it was) out of the gate. Then again, I know they like to stretch all this into as many episodes as possible, so...

[princelina]

On 10/19/2023 at 12:46 PM, Elizzikra said:

I couldn't tell if he was wearing pink socks or no socks at all but either way, I thought his pants were about an inch too short. I like him a lot though but I think that Emily is going to be too much "life of the party" for him.

Emily? I thought the same thing. And the one bridesmaid who was like "I hate to dish on her; I love her" and then proceeded to call her selfish - that was her maid of honor!

I said, "Why is he wearing capris?" 😄 And I agree that he is likable and she is not.  I think her friends told us why she's always been single - and part of the problem is that Emily thinks what they're saying about her is just great!

On 10/19/2023 at 2:39 PM, Empress1 said:

Amelia and Bennett were the same kind of artsy hippie type. They were a good match even though they didn’t work out. I felt this way about Mitch, the environmentalist - his environmentalism is such a big part of who he is that he needs to be with someone who is as all-in about it as he is. Similarly, Michael is a pretty specific type of guy who needs a pretty specific type of woman. He knows it too - he said something like “I know I’m a lot,” or “I know I present differently” or something. He doesn’t come across badly at all - he seemed really intelligent and nice and he also seemed to have friends who care deeply about him, which is a good sign. I’d be friends with him but his aesthetic doesn’t appeal to me.

He did say that, which is why he should have considered his first impression and removed the saber, crown, face jewelry and a couple pounds of hair.  There's plenty of time to "express yourself" after you've married and gotten to know each other a bit.  And if Bennett weren't a complete wacko himself, Amelia should have been left at the altar for the bird cage she wore on her head.

3 hours ago, Ilovepie said:

I think it's terrible that the show forces these gross parties on them. I wouldn't want my bachelorette party to be with a bunch of strangers and I definitely wouldn't want strippers. I miss when everyone did their own bachelor/bachelorette parties separately with their own family and friends.

They're doing it for the content - alcohol+strippers=potential for bad behavior and good tv! 😄

[Lurk]

3 hours ago, Elizzikra said:

I don't disrespect sex workers but I also don't want my nose an inch away from a stranger's butthole.

In his limited defense, he said on AfterParty that he was so drunk that he didn't remember anything about the conversation. I'm hoping the producers prompted the guys to talk raunchy for that segment and he just exhibited really poor judgment. 

I felt set up. I really dislike all the dress shopping and telling the family bullshit. I liked getting a wedding so soon and I think it could work to show a wedding, then then show in flashback a little bit of the shopping/telling the family/etc. I liked the satisfaction of seeing at least one ceremony (such that it was) out of the gate. Then again, I know they like to stretch all this into as many episodes as possible, so...

I tried watching some more tonight. I noticed that one of the brides had janky blue fingernails with some nails missing when they were showing her intro scenes. Interspersed with scenes from her telling friends, she had perfectly sculpted white nails and so did at least one of her friends. I wouldn't think white nails were a thing unless for a wedding so that makes the timeline of when these things are filmed a bit sus. Like why would he have her nails done in white as if for a wedding 2 weeks before the wedding when she's telling friends? Seems like it's all staged and rehearsed and out of timeline.

[Lindz]

Quite prophetic of Michael to talk about being rejected by his bride. I still don't understand people putting that negativity into the universe. 🙄 And also talking about being open to changing his appearance and clothes. Methinks that was filmed AFTER the wedding. 🤔🧐

[Jeanne222]

9 hours ago, Meowwww said:

So question. The opening scene of the guy getting ditched at the wedding. Was that before what we saw on the rest of the show?  Or was it a future scene then they went back to the beginning?  

That was really confusing!  I went back to try to find her.  No luck.

I think, though short, that was one couples wedding.

[Lindz]

Did I hear Michael say the strippers had "circus olé" moves??? 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[JenE4]

With Emily, I feel like the matchmakers should have observed her “in her natural habitat” on a date to see why no one has ever stuck around for more than 3 dates instead of just going by the daytime, sober interviews and thinking, well, she seems okay to me. Hell, had they spoken to her “best friends” they would have eagerly revealed all of her red flags in advance. I feel like watching herself on TV should have been an epiphany for her that 1) twerking on a wall plus multiple other attempts to upend herself without the aid of a wall is unbecoming behavior, and 2) my “friends” hate me and know exactly why I scare off every single man whom I’ve ever met.

Edited October 21, 2023 by JenE4

[Racj82]

9 hours ago, Lindz said:

Did I hear Michael say the strippers had "circus olé" moves??? 🤣🤣🤣🤣

cirque du soleil

[Lurk]

On 10/21/2023 at 6:54 AM, Lindz said:

Did I hear Michael say the strippers had "circus olé" moves??? 🤣🤣🤣🤣

I thought I heard him pronounce that as "circus ole" too. Friend's daughter about 12 years old wanted to watch "circus ole" on TV. We teased her after she found out watching the show it was Cirque du Soleil. We did that little Carman Miranda dance move with where you pretend you have castanets in your hands and say "circus ole"!