S09.E01: Duggars & Mothers

[DangerousMinds]

I haven't had a chance to see this episode so I'm hoping one of y'all can clue me in. I read that Dill have a mansion, is it a large house or truly a mansion type of house? Does anyone know which community it's in because different towns tend to price differently in NWA. I have a tiny bit if self-loathing that I'm so nosily interested in these people.

IMO that was no mansion. A big house, yes, but definitely not a mansion.

[Missmissie173]

It's not just you.  Something about that kid makes me feel uncomfortable.  She really doesn't seem "all there" and I have no idea if that and her generally bratty behavior are because she has some developmental difficulties or because she's a spoiled kid.  If it's the former, I feel really bad about saying that.  But there's a weird deadness to her face or something, like she already has Michelle's glassy eyes at age 4.  And she behaves and communicates like an eighteen-month-old, which doesn't endear her to me, as adorable as Michelle may find it.

 

I'd feel bad being this critical of a little kid, but there's no chance she'll ever see this, and if the Duggars do - either get your kid some intervention or teach her how to behave.  She either has problems or she's a brat, and either of those situations needs to be dealt with.  I feel sorry for her, I do; her family has clearly lost interest in her right on schedule. 

 

I don't feel that sorry for Ben, though.  He's in what appears to be a shitty situation, but at the same time, though he behaves like a dumb child, he's actually an adult, and an adult male - in their lifestyle, that means he's allowed to have some say over his life.  If he chooses to give that up in favor of chasing reality TV fame, that's his decision.  Though I don't get his dad at all - he criticized JimBob and Ben's new lifestyle nonstop in that blog rant, but he seemed to be pushing Ben into it in the first place.  Am I missing something?

What a relief that you think Josie has some "issues" too - I was feeling mighty guilty for even mentioning it!  Hopefully, some one that has influence with Jim Bob and/or Michelle also recognizes there is a problem and brings it to their clueless attention.  

 

At the rate that the J'Slaves are escaping via marriage, business ventures, (fingers crossed) some type of training or education, there will soon be a deficit of buddies to help Josie out with any social skills, not that the others have much to share in this department, but just sayin...

 

At this point, I doubt she would do well even in a Fundi Christian school atmosphere. She always seems to be lurking or spying or something I can't put my finger on it...anyway I hope they get her some help. The Spooky Little BRAT! (Sorry Jesus, had to say it - forgive me!)  

 

And. Ben. Everything you said above.  You take short cuts in life, you may get to a place faster, but that place is usually not at all the place you thought it would be.

 

Benessa - take the journey!  You are both young, attractive and certainly Narcissistic enough, eh hem I mean self-confidant enough, to make it in the real world.

 

If they do marry, which I doubt will happen, please Jessa, get a prenup.  Protect the earnings that I hope you made from this show for sacrificing your "special snowflake" youth.  Seriously girl, Ben is the type that will want half!  

 

And Ben, by the way, your Jesus Loving, Conservative Dad appears to be a real Tool! 

[mrs ra]

K- I was only half paying attention but did Anna actually allude to the fact that the newlyweds would be "gettin after it" so much that her and her a-hole hubby couldn't stay in the mansion when they come to visit??

I thought that was a very strange thing for her to say! They already showed that it was a huge house. What made her think that the newlywed's lovemaking would be so loud, boisterous and public that she couldn't be in the same house?

[GEML]

I think Anna has a droll sense of humor that doesn't always come across in the family that is all about reminding us how sincere they are every five minutes.

[abseedee]

If they do marry, which I doubt will happen, please Jessa, get a prenup.  Protect the earnings that I hope you made from this show for sacrificing your "special snowflake" youth.  Seriously girl, Ben is the type that will want half!  

 

And Ben, by the way, your Jesus Loving, Conservative Dad appears to be a real Tool! 

i've never thought about a pre-nup and am not sure if it has any significance with the Duggars.  If it does, I wonder if Jill has one and if Jessa will too.  I feel that Ben's dad may be the one who wants him to get half.

[Fuzzysox]

Sheesh people NO one mentioned what Michelle really does all day, she sits in the prayer closet trying to get over her lust for Bin of course! lol

[trimthatfat]

I thought that was a very strange thing for her to say! They already showed that it was a huge house. What made her think that the newlywed's lovemaking would be so loud, boisterous and public that she couldn't be in the same house?

 

I didn't find it strange - I thought she was just joking.

[xls]

Sheesh people NO one mentioned what Michelle really does all day, she sits in the prayer closet trying to get over her lust for Bin of course! lol

Praying that Bin does not get defrauded by her irresistible allure!

[RazzleberryPie]

Oh I think Jessa and Bin will definitely marry, and there will be no prenup. Neither of them own anything, for one, and they don't believe in divorce.

[duggarshow]

mguberow, I'd like to know, too.

 

Also, I love the house Jill and Derrick are living in. I'm a sucker for black floors and I love that tub. Nice!

 

*edited to remove an unnecessary word.

Edited September 4, 2014 by duggarfan

[cmr2014]

I wanted to point out what a great wedding gift JB and J'chelle gave Jill and Derek.They get to live in the house "until it sells" -- which could be three months, or three years. JB loses nothing having people in the house taking care of it while it's on the market. It looks super-generous, but costs him nothing.

 

It will, of course, save Derick and Jill a lot of money which they can save for a down payment on their own house, which is good.

 

I cannot even with Bin and his new "job." So now he is living in the compound "working" for JB. I would virtually guarantee that no money is changing hands here. Bin works, and in return he gets to live in the guest house, and eat a portion of tater-tot casserole every day. He is guaranteeing that he (and Jessa) have a life of indentured servitude ahead of them. Even if they eventually decide that they want out, he will have no education and no skills.

 

I wonder if JB doesn't intent to stuff Bin and Jessa into that house with Jill and Derick. There's plenty of room, and both girls will insist that they are "thrilled" to be together, and the guys won't be in any position to say anything to stop it. He can then keep the accountibilibuddy system going to prevent any loose talk about jumping ship.

[ramble]

ramble, no it's not really a mansion, but it is a good sized house. I don't know the specs, but it looks to be around 4,000 sq. ft. with some absolutely gorgeous woodworking on the interior. I believe the property is huge as well, around 20 acres. The exterior could use a better paint color and some decent landscaping, but all in all it's a pretty amazing starter home for a newly married couple.

IMO that was no mansion. A big house, yes, but definitely not a mansion.

Thanks so much y'all! Around 4,000 square feet is a big house, but I wouldn't call it a mansion either. The acreage sounds awesome to me, but I'm on a street with relatively close houses. If the house is out in Tontitown it may be a little harder sell unless someone is looking for land. Well I suppose it also largely depends on what Jim Bob lists it for, which brings me to another question. Do the Duggers list houses or sell them by owner? It would "save the difference" on the commission if they did it themselves I suppose. "

[Lillybee]

I read somewhere that Boob had that house listed for about 1m.

[RazzleberryPie]

That house isn't a McMansion or MTV Cribs house, but it looked like a large Craftsman style mansion (Smaller than today's monstrosities, but bigger than normal homes of that period) with a lot of really nice woodwork - paneled ceilings, parquet floors, etc.

 

Free housing for a few years is a good gift to me.

[mythoughtis]

==I thought that was a very strange thing for her to say! They already showed that it was a huge house. What made her think that the newlywed's lovemaking would be so loud, boisterous and public that she couldn't be in the same house?==

 

 

I didn't take it that way.  I took it as Anna recognizing that people who barely knew each other before the wedding, and were not allowed to touch until said wedding, might need some privacy.  They might feel odd about touching each other, kissing each other, or 'doing the deed' with someone else in their home.   I certainly would think twice about it if my sibling, his wife, and their kids were in our house.. and I have been married a lot longer than 1 year. 

[Absolom]

While TLC did the usual mislead with the Tontitown sign, the house is in Rogers.

[ramble]

While TLC did the usual mislead with the Tontitown sign, the house is in Rogers.

Interesting! Depending on where it is the land itself could be worth quite a bit. At least that makes for an easier commute for Derrick.

[abseedee]

The house was listed for $1.530M.   I think they really need to be more careful.  There's enough online information to find the house..

Edited September 4, 2014 by abseedee

[JerseyGirl]

I believe it was mentioned on the show as the Stoney Brook Mansion.

 

EDIT TO ADD.  Stoney Brook appears to be the name of the street in Rogers.  I found the home on Zillow.

Edited September 4, 2014 by JerseyGirl

[DangerousMinds]

This episode reminded me of what a silly little tweeny girl Jill still is.

Derek: I would like to begin a formal courtship.

Jill: Awesome . . . .Totally! (Said with requisite Valley accent)

Derek: will you marry me?

Jill: Yes, totally!

Edited September 4, 2014 by DangerousMinds

[starfire]

It's not hard to find things like that since most counties have their assessor information online and searchable by name. It's public info. I just looked and it appears JimBob bought the house for $95,000 in 2012. There are listings for the same address for $1.53 million, but I am not sure that is the house or that Boob even owns it. Is it possible that he already sold most of the land and it's someone else's listing? The for-sale listings I saw that match up with the house address don't mention anything about a house, plus some I saw say the property is "bank-owned". Plus, on the assessor web site, it says the Stoneybrook property (with the house) that the Duggar Trust owns is just over one acre. There are no other parcels listed for the Duggar Trust on that street or in Rogers.  It appears that John David lives right next door. I didn't know he owned a mini-storage business that is on his property.

Edited September 4, 2014 by starfire

[Lopethina]

Jana: "Who knows? Maybe Jill will be having her first babies in this tub. We'll see."

Yes, literally. We.will.see.

[starfire]

P.S. I did just find a  listing on trulia.com that mentions the house, but it also says the property is bank-owned. It's weird that the assessor web site says the property is only 1+ acre and doesn't list any other adjoining properties as owned by the Duggars because the $1.53 property is supposedly 20+ acres.

 

I know some folks are great at flipping houses but it seems extra-amazing that a house/property would sell for $95,000 and 2 years later sell for $1.53 million, even if the entire house was renovated..

[Sew Sumi]

Stratcat80, I believe Bin is taking on-line college courses in political science.

That's the claim, at any rate. Saying this makes it virtually impossible to disprove since they didn't say which college Bin was "attending." It could be College Minus CLEP prep for all we know.

 

I wanted to add my .02 regarding the scene where Boob suggests that Bin come live with them. I think it was all staged for the cameras and that the Duggars and Seewalds had agreed to terms beforehand, off-camera. Bin's just a shitty actor. We know this show does re-enactment shit all the time; this is one situation that practically BEGS for one given that it probably happened far more casually, with many arrangements being made by phone. But that's boring. Put them all at one table and make it look like Boob is magnanimous (rather than the controlling ass we know him to be IRL).

 

This also plays into Pa Seewald's rant: Bin moved to Tonitown in May. I think Seewald expected Boob to release Bin to propose to Jessa long before August, hence his "Marrying Young" screed. Boob certainly heard about it, and might have even read it, because Jessa had a "rock with pieces of metal" on her finger less than a week later.

[DangerousMinds]

I guess Bin got awfully lonely out here in the guest house and whined to daddy about it.

[Lillybee]

I felt badly for James when Boob attempted to remove a splinter from his finger with a dirty razor. Thankfully, a J'slave took it out properly.

[WTFFF]

 

I used to think Jana was his favorite, and maybe she was -- until something undoubtedly happened that we'll probably never know about. He barely pays attention to her now, which makes me sad.

100% agree with you on that one.  He used to favor Jana, but now Jill is his favorite, and I'll always wonder what happened.  I mean, he's always spoiled Jill, but I would've said Jana, Jill, Joy and Hannie were his favorites (really the only kids he gave much attention to) - but now the other three seem to have lost his favor and I'd love to know what exactly went down. 

[starfire]

Maybe Boob favors Jill because compared to the rest of the kids, she brings in the most ratings/$$$ these days.

[bren70]

 

Though I don't get his dad at all - he criticized JimBob and Ben's new lifestyle nonstop in that blog rant

What was this?!  Wow!

[ghoulina]

Just got a chance to watch this morning. Wow. Michelle looks even more weathered and crunchy than usual. With all her talk of "seasons", maybe she needs to enter a new season of hair and fashion. 

 

Jessa can't even hold Bin's hand during a prayer???? She has to clutch at the sleeve of his shirt, because - God forbid - if she held his hand for 5 seconds whilst thanking the Lord it might just send her hormones into overdrive and she would start humping him right there in the middle if the prayer circle. Damn. No wonder these people get married 5 months after meeting. 

 

JB continues to live up to his name - Boob. What a Boob to drag your daughter's boyfriend up to live in your "guest house" so you can use him for slave labor around the compound. Is he going to be paid? In anything other than Tator Tot Casserole? And let's be real, that is not a guest house. It's a large garage with a room upstairs. When Ben walked in and said, "Wow, this is awesome" - he was really thinking, "Damn, I left my air conditioned home for this???" 

 

So sad to hear about Derrick's mom. I really wish the best for her. 

[trimthatfat]

I wonder if JB doesn't intent to stuff Bin and Jessa into that house with Jill and Derick. There's plenty of room, and both girls will insist that they are "thrilled" to be together, and the guys won't be in any position to say anything to stop it. He can then keep the accountibilibuddy system going to prevent any loose talk about jumping ship.

 

That would be awful, imo. I really hope that if JB dared try that, that Derick would find another home for his family. He makes a decent salary and at the very least, could find a modest 2 bedroom home to rent if they can't afford a down payment just yet.

[ghoulina]

That would be awful, imo. I really hope that if JB dared try that, that Derick would find another home for his family. He makes a decent salary and at the very least, could find a modest 2 bedroom home to rent if they can't afford a down payment just yet.

 

I agree. And I think Derrick is a lot less likely to let himself be steamrolled by Boob than Bin is.

[Literata]

Something else I noticed in this episode: Jill looks really pretty. I've never thought any of the girls were unattractive, but Jill, to me, was never as striking. In the past year or so, though, she seems to have developed a very soft, pretty look. And she clearly is happy, which helps, too. 

 

I knew I liked Derick during one of the Nepal episodes, when Boob stupidly asked him something like, "What do you think of Jill?" and he looked over at her, clearly besotted, and said, "She's a beautiful girl." I'm sure she had gotten pretty sick of hearing how pretty Jessa is; it's nice that she's getting some attention. 

[trimthatfat]

I knew I liked Derick during one of the Nepal episodes, when Boob stupidly asked him something like, "What do you think of Jill?" and he looked over at her, clearly besotted, and said, "She's a beautiful girl." I'm sure she had gotten pretty sick of hearing how pretty Jessa is; it's nice that she's getting some attention. 

 

I just wonder why, in their circle, Jessa is considered this rare beauty. She's cute, but you can find clones of her on several college campuses. I feel like Jessa is considered hot by default when you have other fundie women her age rocking dresses that look like they were used on the set of Little House on the Prairie and 1980s hair teases.

Edited September 4, 2014 by trimthatfat

[Absolom]

We'll be getting more of this as the episode posted great numbers for TLC:  number one cable show of the evening with 3.293 M viewers and a 1.4 rating.

The $95K Jim Bob paid for the property was as a bank foreclosure so should have been well under market, but apparently he was overly ambitious to expect to sell it at $1.5 M.  He's had it for a couple of years and probably should have had it redone to the level it was when Jill and Derick moved in if he really wanted to sell it.

[VioletNevermind]

I'm  in college and I take classes both online and in school. I'm actually taking my required Poly Sci class online this semester so that I can do schoolwork while I'm in Europe for a month. I think it really depends on the school the class is  from. If you are taking it from some online fundie college you're probably right  We are required to do a massive amount of discussion posts with various people of various idealogies. I probably learn more about the other students on my online class because we are forced to interact with discussions.  Oh, and I just have to say that I hate it when they use purpose as a verb. I know that technically, it's correct, but it bugs.

 

I'm in the exact same boat.  When I took traditional on-site classes, I was the classic shy student who hid in the back of the room and didn't interact with anyone.  I'm forced to interact with my classmates in online classes and it's actually been pretty refreshing to feel engaged in a class for once.  Another thing the Duggar kids will know nothing about.

What was this?!  Wow!

 

http://seewalds.com/marrying-young/#comment-285

 

Enjoy.  ;-)

[BitterApple]

Something else I noticed in this episode: Jill looks really pretty. I've never thought any of the girls were unattractive, but Jill, to me, was never as striking. In the past year or so, though, she seems to have developed a very soft, pretty look. And she clearly is happy, which helps, too. 

 

I knew I liked Derick during one of the Nepal episodes, when Boob stupidly asked him something like, "What do you think of Jill?" and he looked over at her, clearly besotted, and said, "She's a beautiful girl." I'm sure she had gotten pretty sick of hearing how pretty Jessa is; it's nice that she's getting some attention. 

 

I think Jill went through the longest awkward stage out of all the J'Slaves and really didn't grow into her looks until recently. For so many years she was the Jan Brady to Jessa's Marcia. She had to be thrilled when Derick made that comment to Boob. Also, FWIW, people who have seen the Duggars in person say Jana is the prettiest by far. 

[Marigold]

I didn't think it was bad that they filmed Derick's mom in the hospital.

This show (and all reality shows) are very planned.  There is no way they busted in the door with a team of cameras like SURPISE!!!! She must've agreed to appear on camera. I was thinking maybe she got paid for her appearance? Cancer is expensive even with health insurance. A check might be a nice thing right about now. Or maybe she enjoyed the moment of sharing her story. She seems like a nice lady. 

 

I also think they filmed the brunch and everything but Derick went later to visit his mother.  i think that video chat was just for show. No way that Derick left his mom alone on Mother's Day when she is fighting cancer.   He did his "Duggar obligation" of filming and then did his own thing later. 

 

I thought Anna was just goofing around about the "not staying with the newlyweds" comment.  Anna has said a few offbeat things like that before. 

 

I have no idea what happened with Ben and that house offer by Jim Bob.

Jessa kept chewing her food like no big deal. Ben looked stunned and unsure. Jim Bob looked smug and pleased with himsefl as usual.  Mr. Seewald sounded like he was acting or forcing what he was saying.  I couldn't figure the whole thing out.  It didn't seem natural at all. 

 

His room was disgusting.  Isn't that thing gonna be hot?  

He looked miserable driving around with JoyAnna on that golf cart. Like "what did I get myself into???"

 

Overall, I liked this episode better than the others.  It didn't have such a heavy edit feel. 

[BitterApple]

I think I was more pissed off by the fact that Jessa was there rather than they filmed his mother to begin with. My father died of cancer, and trust me, sex was the last thing on my mind when I went to visit him at the hospital. I think Mrs. Dillard is a classy lady, and I pray she's out of the woods and can enjoy her grandchild. Lord knows, Michelle won't appreciate the little one: unless the cameras are rolling, that is. I think the Dillard family will be a breath of fresh air for Jill, they all seem really cool.

[Skittl1321]

It also looks like Jill has a cold sore on her lower lip.  If so, how did she contract the herpes simplex virus?

 

You can get that by using someone's cup to take a drink if they have an infection - it isn't an STD.

[ghoulina]

I think Jill went through the longest awkward stage out of all the J'Slaves and really didn't grow into her looks until recently. For so many years she was the Jan Brady to Jessa's Marcia. She had to be thrilled when Derick made that comment to Boob. Also, FWIW, people who have seen the Duggars in person say Jana is the prettiest by far.

 

I agree. I always thought Jill was kind of mousy and odd looking, but this last year or so she has become really beautiful. I also think Jana is a beauty. But I've never really thought so of Jessa. I think she looks too cartoonish. She's not ugly or anything, but I don't see her as being the best looking...by far. 

 

 

 

He looked miserable driving around with JoyAnna on that golf cart. Like "what did I get myself into???"

 

He did! But, on the flip side, I kind of loved how much Joy enjoyed bossing a boy around. 

Edited September 4, 2014 by ghoulina

[Marigold]

I agree. The chaperone thing was very inappropriate at the hospital room. My mom also died of cancer and romance was not on my mind in the hospital.

 

I don't understand why Jessa didn't wait in the hallway, at the very least. I don't know, maybe she thought it would be rude to wait in the hall. 

 

I just read Dad Seewald's blog.  WOW, he really took shot after shot at Jim Bob. Good for him. He did a good job of pointing out such stupidity. 

 

I don't even have a problem with the courting if that's what you're into.  But such obsessively strict rules? Can't people control themselves? I grew up a very light Fundamentalist Baptist and I dated guys.  We were alone.  Nothing happened.  I dated my husband and nothing happened before we were married.  That was our choice. If you are old enough to date and get married, then you are old enough to keep your clothes on. Or don't.  But at their ages, they have to make their own choices.  

 

If Jim Bob and Michelle are so sure of their beliefs and how to raise children, then why such fear about what the couples might do if alone?  Didn't their religious upbringing take root in their heart? 

It's very contradictory, if you think about. 

[Easyspreestep]

I think Jessa went in to see Derick's mom because that is what you do.  Jessa like Derick and his mother is in the hospital, going to the hospital and staying outside unless asked to is rude.   I don't think Jessa thought, Jill was going to have sex, but that the trip involved going to see Derick's sick mom. Derick at the time was going to be her brother in law.

[Portia]

That had to be frozen lasagna, right? And the rolls were obviously frozen. So how exactly does that count as cooking? It amuses me that any of these young women would be hoping to impress prospective in-laws merely by managing to heat things up but not burn them. Do these girls learn real cooking? Gardening? Canning? Other skills more in keeping with their philosophy of traditional gender roles and thrifty living? 

[GEML]

I agree with Easyspresstep.  In their culture, going to visit someone in the hospital is a form of ministry.  I hate to use the word because they've almost killed all meaning of it, but some people actually do find it ENCOURAGING to have visitors while they are in the hospital.  Derrick's Mom is Southern Baptist -- so she likely had people from her church coming by as well, and thought it quite ordinary that Jill and her sister were along.  I know I went and visited my boyfriend's (he wasn't even my fiance) mother in the hospital when she was ill, and although she didn't come out of the same religious culture that I did, she was very touched.  Another time she was in the hospital (but before we were married) I took my sister.  She was glad we came.  

There is a reason this woman would like to spoil Jill.  And perhaps it's because Jill does think of other people first, and even Jessa too.  She was thoughtful and in the background that whole scene.  I have no problems with it.

[BitterApple]

Portia, it looked like frozen lasagna to me, which is laughable because how easy is lasagna to make? Boil noodles, layer with sauce and cheese, throw into oven, remove from oven. They also used bagged lettuce for the salad which is way more expensive than buying heads of romaine and chopping it up yourself. I don't have an issue with people using convenience items, but the Duggars have made a specific point for years of telling us how thrifty they are. Not so much apparently.

[mledawn]

I'm surprised no one has pointed this out so perhaps it's different in the US, but wouldn't Ben's room be a violation of some kind of building or housing code? You can't just throw someone in a room and call it a bedroom...can you?

[BitterApple]

I'm surprised no one has pointed this out so perhaps it's different in the US, but wouldn't Ben's room be a violation of some kind of building or housing code? You can't just throw someone in a room and call it a bedroom...can you?

I think it was discussed on one of the previous pages or the Benessa thread, my mind is escaping me. Regarding code violations, I'm wondering if that only applies when you're charging rent. Maybe someone with experience in that sort of thing can fill us in because I'm curious myself.

Edited September 4, 2014 by BitterApple

[ghoulina]

I just read Dad Seewald's blog.  WOW, he really took shot after shot at Jim Bob. Good for him. He did a good job of pointing out such stupidity.

 

I know! I loved it. It was so obvious he was referring to Boob when talking about how some fathers provide so many hoops for young men to jump through that it makes courting their daughters impossible. I don't think every couple should get married young. But it definitely seems like Boob is holding some of his workhorses hostage. 

[charmed1]

Jessa can't even hold Bin's hand during a prayer???? She has to clutch at the sleeve of his shirt, because - God forbid - if she held his hand for 5 seconds whilst thanking the Lord it might just send her hormones into overdrive and she would start humping him right there in the middle if the prayer circle. Damn.

Yeah remember when Ben first came to their house, they shoved one of the younger girls in between he and Jessa prior to prayer so the couple wouldn't hold hands.