Chit-Chat: What's On Your Mind Today?

[peacheslatour]

1 hour ago, Anela said:

I miss watching things like The Closer, with my mum. I was just saying yesterday, I miss going downstairs and her being somewhere there. After she lost her business in the crash in 2007, she would come upstairs in the middle of the night, when she couldn’t sleep.  I knew about one of those dodgy sites to watch shows on - I think that was one of them, in 2008 - and one had The Closer, and that’s where she started to watch it. We then DVR’d the rest, every season.  Same with Medium, Burn Notice, etc.  

when I was a teenager, we watched the English shows on PBS, as a family.  I can’t watch them anymore. We used to share books, too.  

Chicricket knows my discord name, and that’s my instagram, too.  

We loved Burn Notice. I wish they would put it rotation like Law & Order and Columbo.

[EtheltoTillie]

49 minutes ago, kristen111 said:

I was good friends with Reality Police and the poster who had a Dragon icon.  One day they were gone.  I was so upset.  So many that were nice .. then gone overnight.   I hope those that live alone have a buddy.  Like some I won’t mention names.

Dragon icon:  I think that was Walnut Queen.  I think she is gone.  

@kristen111 I got one of those school zone tickets on a Sunday in Brooklyn recently.  Grr.  For those from out of state, these are photo-only tickets.  No cop pulling you over.  So  you find out about it weeks later when it shows up in the mail.

Edited April 21 by EtheltoTillie

[shapeshifter]

8 hours ago, EtheltoTillie said:

Old Match Game and Hollywood Squares were absolutely hilarious -- and yes a cringefest now.  Gene Rayburn had such a good leering delivery with his long microphone.  Still fun to rewatch. 

OMG. I just saw Match Game 73 (Episode 75) (October 26, 1973) in which Gene Rayburn has (may I say it?) "Met his Match" in contestant Nancy Cox, who steps out from behind the contestant desk in hot pants so short I wasn't sure if it was a mini skirt or…? LOL:

 

[EtheltoTillie]

Oh, thanks for posting this, @shapeshifter.  It made my night.  So many double entendres.  Gene didn't have the long microphone yet.

Edited April 22 by EtheltoTillie

[oliviabenson]

Long pole lol

Bette White. I’d recognize her anywhere. 

[EtheltoTillie]

Betty White was such a great game show staple.  Starting with Password, starring her late hubby Allen Ludden.

[Kimboweena]

6 hours ago, oliviabenson said:

My lucky streak is over, I got a jury summons

Got one last week myself.  My husband had a hip replacement back in February.  Two weeks later, he got a jury summons.  A doctor's note just got him a delay, he'll be getting another jury summons in June.

[Yeah No]

14 hours ago, EtheltoTillie said:

Do you know the Thalia theater on West 95th Street?  It used to be a repertory cinema.  They had a jumbo Looney Toons retrospective in the 80s.  It was fun to see those cartoons as an adult.  As a kid I always got a kick out of the celebrity cameos, like Lauren Bacall and Humphrey Bogart.  Here's a compilation of Frank Sinatra appearances.  They always made fun of how skinny he was. 

I always loved that first Frank Sinatra one with the chickens!  My mother did too.  She loved cartoons.

I'm sure you remember the Regency just above Lincoln Center.  I saw Casablanca for the first time there with my HS sweetheart in the mid '70s.  We sat through it twice.  Then I bought a book with the script in it and we memorized the lines and would recite them to each other.  Every time it was on TV he used to call me to let me know for years after that.  Those were the days.

13 hours ago, roseha said:

Yes that's what I meant to say about the Road Runners.  The colors and design just looked so great on the big screen.  The attention to detail is really impressive, and of course they were so inventive. And I still laugh if I see the name "Acme" used in any other context.

Me too.  I always think "Acme Anvil Company"!  😉

[Yeah No]

9 hours ago, oliviabenson said:

A lot of people on here get banned and they don’t come back or use a different name. 

True, I know at least a couple of the people I knew that vanished might have been banned but many were on certain threads for years and I probably would have more of a chance of being banned than they would.  And when some were banned they came back with similar user names to the same threads and/or I figured out who they were by how and what they tended to write.  With some of them we all knew each other so well on some threads it would have been hard for them to hide it.

I was banned once years ago but I didn't know anyone so well then so I doubt anyone would have identified me when I came back, and I wanted it that way.  I'm thinking that could be the case with others too, but the posters I'm thinking about (like Walnutqueen) had a big presence on the board and knew a lot of people and then one day vanished.  Someone would have known if they came back but that hasn't happened in a lot of cases.  A couple used to write to me privately every now and then and when they vanished I never heard from them again.

[Anela]

Walnut queen was one of the people I was thinking of.  

[shapeshifter]

6 hours ago, Anela said:

Walnut queen was one of the people I was thinking of.  

I posted inquiries about @walnutqueen in a few places.

I'll let all y'all know if I hear anything.

[kristen111]

6 hours ago, Anela said:

Walnut queen was one of the people I was thinking of.  

No, I don’t think so.  Not familiar to me.  It’s been a long time.  Maybe “Star something?
 

 

Edited April 22 by kristen111

[kristen111]

If someone was unjustly banned, they wouldn’t want to come back, so why upset the apple cart?  That’s their prerogative.

[Yeah No]

19 minutes ago, shapeshifter said:

I posted inquiries about @walnutqueen in a few places.

I'll let all y'all know if I hear anything.

Thanks.  Some I can think of off the top of my head from over on the Sister Wives threads are @TurtlePower, @Dotand @DakotaJustice.  There are more from other threads too.

1 minute ago, kristen111 said:

If someone was unjustly banned, they wouldn’t want to come back, so why upset the apple cart?  That’s their prerogative.

I feel that I was unjustly banned when I was using a different account years ago but I came back, although I can understand why others might not want to do that.  In my case I am still scratching my head about why I was banned.  I was upset at the time about it as I recall but there was nothing I could do about it.

[kristen111]

2 minutes ago, Yeah No said:

Thanks.  Some I can think of off the top of my head from over on the Sister Wives threads are @TurtlePower, @Dotand @DakotaJustice.  There are more from other threads too.

I feel that I was unjustly banned when I was using a different account years ago but I came back, although I can understand why others might not want to do that.  In my case I am still scratching my head about why I was banned.  I was upset at the time about it as I recall but there was nothing I could do about it.

Apparently, they pick n choose, so it’s a crap shoot. Once I was banned unjustly, and it was a bitch to get back.  It took a whole week to get back on.  Some very nice Mod took the time to help me.  She was super nice and I will never forget her.  “TurtlePower” sounds very familiar.  ??????
 

 

[kristen111]

27 minutes ago, Yeah No said:

Thanks.  Some I can think of off the top of my head from over on the Sister Wives threads are @TurtlePower, @Dotand @DakotaJustice.  There are more from other threads too.

I feel that I was unjustly banned when I was using a different account years ago but I came back, although I can understand why others might not want to do that.  In my case I am still scratching my head about why I was banned.  I was upset at the time about it as I recall but there was nothing I could do about it.

Apparently favoritetism was at play.  The luck of the draw.  Who knows?  Some posters get so insulted they would never come back no matter what.

Edited April 22 by kristen111

[Ohiopirate02]

19 minutes ago, kristen111 said:

Apparently favoritetism was at play.  The luck of the draw.  Who knows?  Some posters get so insulted they would never come back no matter what.

There was definitely some favoritism going on because I know of a couple of posters on their third account here, and others who disappeared after only one.  You could also appeal some warning points.  It just depended on what you supposedly did to warrant it, which forum it happened in, and which mod issued it.  

[EtheltoTillie]

Two other people that used to post a lot seem to have been gone for years.  Toaster Strudel and Giant Misfit.  Where are they?  They had great user names.

Edited April 22 by EtheltoTillie

[Mondrianyone]

On 4/20/2024 at 4:59 PM, annzeepark914 said:

I remember all the delicious foods someone described making...every day, it seemed. And then, presto! She was gone. 

Could you be thinking of BiakBiak? She seemed to have an encyclopedic knowledge of foods from many countries, posted about exotic dishes she made all the time, and then . . . poof! Very odd disappearance.

[bluegirl147]

1 hour ago, EtheltoTillie said:

Two other people that used to post a lot seem to have been gone for years.  Toaster Strudel and Giant Misfit.  Where are they?  They had great user names.

Wasn't Giant Misfit a mod?  They probably left with the great Mod departure of 2024.

[annzeepark914]

44 minutes ago, Mondrianyone said:

Could you be thinking of BiakBiak? She seemed to have an encyclopedic knowledge of foods from many countries, posted about exotic dishes she made all the time, and then . . . poof! Very odd disappearance.

Yes!!!! I think she lived in San Francisco. I've missed her posts. Who knows, maybe she was hired as a chef...her meals sounded *that good*  🙂

[kristen111]

2 hours ago, EtheltoTillie said:

Two other people that used to post a lot seem to have been gone for years.  Toaster Strudel and Giant Misfit.  Where are they?  They had great user names.

So many.  They must be under different names.  This place is addictive.  Who will we tell our troubles to?

[BetyBee]

Over the years I have admired so many posters. Some are just so clever in their writing, that you just hope they're still writing something somewhere. There was a poster in the Dr. Phil board back on TWoP, whose name was Kettleporn. Her posts were like poetry, they were so clever. More recently, when posters have disappeared since Covid, I'm always afraid they might have passed on. That said, I do like anonymous forums better than FB, for example. FB has enabled me to know more than I ever wanted to about people I actually know. Here, we have DMs if you want to share more with posters, but you can keep private if that is your preference. 

[peacheslatour]

I have to admit, I've vanished from some topics. I was a die hard Young and The Restless poster, in fact I came over from TwOP when it moved here. One day  I just didn't feel like watching it any more and felt I had nothing to contribute.  I did have some good buddies there but we all have each others email and I let them know so they didn't wonder. I left the Commercials topic because it's so over-moderated, it wasn't fun any more. I love it here because we are fairly self moderating and it's so much better.

Edited April 22 by peacheslatour

[RealHousewife]

I know I posted a lot about how bad things at my old job got, but I'm still adjusting to my new place. On one hand, I'm grateful to be someplace where I'm not harassed, paid fairly, no bullying, nothing all that bad. There are many positives. But some days I feel so alone and miss all the good of my old job and other previous jobs.

There were people I truly cared about at my last job, even loved. I miss them SO much. I'm a single woman with a small group of family and friends. I'm also shy and anxious, so I turn down a lot of social things when I'm invited even if I wish I could get myself out there. I didn't realize how much I relied on work for my social outlet. My body confidence has gotten better, but still a work in progress, so I'm leery of dating. 

I spend my days in the office working alone for the most part. Every now and then my supervisor might stop by to help, but I wondered if I'm a nuisance to her because she doesn't respond to most of my emails. 

I'm not getting the proper training from her at my new job. I've had mostly good supervisors/trainers throughout the years who were very happy to help me. There were usually others around to help out too if I needed anything. 

At my new job, there aren't as many people with the company period, and we're all pretty spread apart in the building. I barely interact with another human, much less have any familiar faces or friends I could go to if I need something. 

I guess it is a bittersweet feeling. I still have gratitude and am trying to be positive. I've joined a gym more for my mental health than for any fitness goals. But boy, I didn't expect to be crying due to loneliness.  

[peacheslatour]

8 minutes ago, RealHousewife said:

I know I posted a lot about how bad things at my old job got, but I'm still adjusting to my new place. On one hand, I'm grateful to be someplace where I'm not harassed, paid fairly, no bullying, nothing all that bad. There are many positives. But some days I feel so alone and miss all the good of my old job and other previous jobs.

There were people I truly cared about at my last job, even loved. I miss them SO much. I'm a single woman with a small group of family and friends. I'm also shy and anxious, so I turn down a lot of social things when I'm invited even if I wish I could get myself out there. I didn't realize how much I relied on work for my social outlet. My body confidence has gotten better, but still a work in progress, so I'm leery of dating. 

I spend my days in the office working alone for the most part. Every now and then my supervisor might stop by to help, but I wondered if I'm a nuisance to her because she doesn't respond to most of my emails. 

I'm not getting the proper training from her at my new job. I've had mostly good supervisors/trainers throughout the years who were very happy to help me. There were usually others around to help out too if I needed anything. 

At my new job, there aren't as many people with the company period, and we're all pretty spread apart in the building. I barely interact with another human, much less have any familiar faces or friends I could go to if I need something. 

I guess it is a bittersweet feeling. I still have gratitude and am trying to be positive. I've joined a gym more for my mental health than for any fitness goals. But boy, I didn't expect to be crying due to loneliness.  

That doesn't sound like a very healthy workplace. It reminds me of the build up in a horror movie actually, only instead of an old house it's an office. Don't go in the basement, whatever you do.  I'm so sorry to hear this, I wish we all lived together sometimes so we could open a bottle of wine and vent to our heart's content.

[kristen111]

1 hour ago, RealHousewife said:

I know I posted a lot about how bad things at my old job got, but I'm still adjusting to my new place. On one hand, I'm grateful to be someplace where I'm not harassed, paid fairly, no bullying, nothing all that bad. There are many positives. But some days I feel so alone and miss all the good of my old job and other previous jobs.

There were people I truly cared about at my last job, even loved. I miss them SO much. I'm a single woman with a small group of family and friends. I'm also shy and anxious, so I turn down a lot of social things when I'm invited even if I wish I could get myself out there. I didn't realize how much I relied on work for my social outlet. My body confidence has gotten better, but still a work in progress, so I'm leery of dating. 

I spend my days in the office working alone for the most part. Every now and then my supervisor might stop by to help, but I wondered if I'm a nuisance to her because she doesn't respond to most of my emails. 

I'm not getting the proper training from her at my new job. I've had mostly good supervisors/trainers throughout the years who were very happy to help me. There were usually others around to help out too if I needed anything. 

At my new job, there aren't as many people with the company period, and we're all pretty spread apart in the building. I barely interact with another human, much less have any familiar faces or friends I could go to if I need something. 

I guess it is a bittersweet feeling. I still have gratitude and am trying to be positive. I've joined a gym more for my mental health than for any fitness goals. But boy, I didn't expect to be crying due to loneliness.  

You know the saying “ you don’t know what you have until you don’t have it anymore”?   Any chance to get your old job back?  There were lots of pluses that were good for you.  I met my husband in a Company that had a zillion singles working there.  We met at a Company dance, dated, then got married over fifty years ago.  So many singles met that way.  Can’t you look for another job in a bigger company?  They usually have lots of things going on.  Everyone is nervous.  My husband was nervous to meet me, so he sent his Cousin over to ask if he could introduce us.  Hell yeah .. I said absolutely yes.  I thought thst was so cute of him.  It worked.  See?  Everyone is nervous to a degree.  Take some chances.  Be brave.  😍

 

[oliviabenson]

2 hours ago, RealHousewife said:

I know I posted a lot about how bad things at my old job got, but I'm still adjusting to my new place. On one hand, I'm grateful to be someplace where I'm not harassed, paid fairly, no bullying, nothing all that bad. There are many positives. But some days I feel so alone and miss all the good of my old job and other previous jobs.

There were people I truly cared about at my last job, even loved. I miss them SO much. I'm a single woman with a small group of family and friends. I'm also shy and anxious, so I turn down a lot of social things when I'm invited even if I wish I could get myself out there. I didn't realize how much I relied on work for my social outlet. My body confidence has gotten better, but still a work in progress, so I'm leery of dating. 

I spend my days in the office working alone for the most part. Every now and then my supervisor might stop by to help, but I wondered if I'm a nuisance to her because she doesn't respond to most of my emails. 

I'm not getting the proper training from her at my new job. I've had mostly good supervisors/trainers throughout the years who were very happy to help me. There were usually others around to help out too if I needed anything. 

At my new job, there aren't as many people with the company period, and we're all pretty spread apart in the building. I barely interact with another human, much less have any familiar faces or friends I could go to if I need something. 

I guess it is a bittersweet feeling. I still have gratitude and am trying to be positive. I've joined a gym more for my mental health than for any fitness goals. But boy, I didn't expect to be crying due to loneliness.  

Hugs girl, hugs. 

[RealHousewife]

2 hours ago, peacheslatour said:

That doesn't sound like a very healthy workplace. It reminds me of the build up in a horror movie actually, only instead of an old house it's an office. Don't go in the basement, whatever you do.  I'm so sorry to hear this, I wish we all lived together sometimes so we could open a bottle of wine and vent to our heart's content.

Aw, you're so sweet. That would be lovely, wouldn't it?

1 hour ago, kristen111 said:

You know the saying “ you don’t know what you have until you don’t have it anymore”?   Any chance to get your old job back?  There were lots of pluses that were good for you.  I met my husband in a Company that had a zillion singles working there.  We met at a Company dance, dated, then got married over fifty years ago.  So many singles met that way.  Can’t you look for another job in a bigger company?  They usually have lots of things going on.  Everyone is nervous.  My husband was nervous to meet me, so he sent his Cousin over to ask if he could introduce us.  Hell yeah .. I said absolutely yes.  I thought thst was so cute of him.  It worked.  See?  Everyone is nervous to a degree.  Take some chances.  Be brave.  😍

 

There is a lot of truth to that saying! The thing is, as good as putting my two weeks notice in felt, it was still kind of bittersweet at the time. I knew I'd miss certain aspects of the job (mostly the nice people I knew for several years). I also got to travel for work and loved seeing different parts of the country. I just didn't know the degree of how much I'd miss my old job. :( That's one reason I stayed for a while unhappy.  I kept thinking it could go to how it used to be. I could probably go back there if I wanted to, but things just got too weird for me. It's still so early at my new place, I'm hoping things will get better. I am grateful they're pretty nice so far even though I feel like a little orphan. lol I hope I get more training, get better at my job, and get used to the culture. I have to find ways to socialize outside of work. Thank you for the encouragement. 😀 

Just now, oliviabenson said:

Hugs girl, hugs. 

Thanks Olivia. 🤗

[shapeshifter]

3 hours ago, RealHousewife said:

I've joined a gym more for my mental health than for any fitness goals. 

I don't think any of us here has enough information to really advise you, but joining the gym for those reasons sounds like you are getting a handle on things. 
But if this:

3 hours ago, RealHousewife said:

But boy, I didn't expect to be crying due to loneliness.  

gets to be a regular occurance, I hope you'll get some counseling. Zoom therapy is so convenient! 

 

46 minutes ago, RealHousewife said:

I knew I'd miss certain aspects of the job (mostly the nice people I knew for several years).

I retired in 2019 and then there was the pandemic and then I moved across the country. At least I still talk on the phone about once a month with a couple of my close former coworkers. Can you do the same or even have a lunch?

 

46 minutes ago, RealHousewife said:

I also got to travel for work and loved seeing different parts of the country.

The first 7 years at my job with the mean boss, I used to get expense paid trips to major cities for conferences. Then they lost most of their endowment in the 2007–2008 financial crisis. That was the end of the trips. I worked there another 12 years with at most 3% cost of living increases. 
My point(s)?
1: The good things about your old job might not have lasted anyway.

Before I had that last job, I worked somewhere else for 4 years. I left because it didn't have a lot of the benefits of my next job, but I didn't have a mean boss there either.
But if I'd stayed at the nice boss job, I would have been there the year it unexpectedly closed down after 50 years when I turned 63 and had stage 4 cancer. I'd have been unemployable with no health insurance — and not, instead, living in a place with a terrible climate but with the best cancer treatment centers.

So, point 2: There's always good and bad things that you cannot predict. 

I hope you make a friend at the gym!

 

Edited April 23 by shapeshifter

[ebk57]

@RealHousewife, I know this probably won't help, but I've found that the first 2 to 3 months of a new job really make you miss the old job, no matter how much you think you didn't like it.  Then, one day, it's all better.   I hope this works out for you!!

[peacheslatour]

7 minutes ago, ebk57 said:

@RealHousewife, I know this probably won't help, but I've found that the first 2 to 3 months of a new job really make you miss the old job, no matter how much you think you didn't like it.  Then, one day, it's all better.   I hope this works out for you!!

That has been my experience as well. I would give it some more time. But seriously, don't go in the basement.🕷️

[RealHousewife]

 

47 minutes ago, shapeshifter said:

I don't think any of us here has enough information to really advise you, but joining the gym for those reasons sounds like you are getting a handle on things. 
But if this:

gets to be a regular occurance, I hope you'll get some counseling. Zoom therapy is so convenient! 

I'm definitely taking action to feel better. 

I'm not crying every day or anything like that, but it has definitely happened more than once the last couple of weeks. I'm not someone who cries over just anything either. I think as much as I miss aspects of my old job, I may still be dealing with the trauma of certain things that went down there too. I worked with the beautiful souls I miss, but I was also bullied and harassed. It felt very yucky, and I didn't share any of it with my family or non-work friends. Some of the circumstances felt embarrassing. I felt many different emotions my last months there, the time between my jobs, and now. 

A couple years ago I was very depressed, and despite the stuff I'm going through now, I'm happy to say it's nothing like my mental state from a couple years ago when I was in therapy for awhile. I'm doing mostly okay. :) Just adjusting to life changes I guess. 

I'm hoping the more training I get and busier I am, the less time I will have to miss my old job.

1 hour ago, shapeshifter said:

I retired in 2019 and then there was the pandemic and then I moved across the country. At least I still talk on the phone about once a month with a couple of my close former coworkers. Can you do the same or even have a lunch?

 

I have kept in touch with a few of them! I'm probably going to meet with a couple who are mutual friends next month. Another coworker suggested meeting up for lunch, but no set plans yet. He isn't friends with the other two, so I'm not sure if I should invite him to join that meet-up o not. Do you all think it's appropriate to meet with him just us? He's a sweet old man and is older than my parents. I'm not sure if his wife would see me as a kid the way he does or find it weird if we met up for lunch. I think that's part of why I feel an extra sad about the goodbyes. I worked with mostly men, so my friends there were not all ladies I could just reach out to whenever without worrying about it being weird. 

1 hour ago, shapeshifter said:

IThe first 7 years at my job with the mean boss, I used to get expense paid trips to major cities for conferences. Then they lost most of their endowment in the 2007–2008 financial crisis. That was the end of the trips. I worked there another 12 years with at most 3% cost of living increases. 
My point(s)?
1: The good things about your old job might not have lasted anyway.

Before I had that last job, I worked somewhere else for 4 years. I left because it didn't have a lot of the benefits of my next job, but I didn't have a mean boss there either.
But if I'd stayed at the nice boss job, I would have been there the year it unexpectedly closed down after 50 years when I turned 63 and had stage 4 cancer. I'd have been unemployable with no health insurance — and not, instead, living in a place with a terrible climate but with the best cancer treatment centers.

So, point 2: There's always good and bad things that you cannot predict. 

I hope you make a friend at the gym!

Such good points! Thank you so much for all your thoughtful advice. It means a lot how kind you all are. I felt bad just reading your post. 

Me too!

39 minutes ago, ebk57 said:

@RealHousewife, I know this probably won't help, but I've found that the first 2 to 3 months of a new job really make you miss the old job, no matter how much you think you didn't like it.  Then, one day, it's all better.   I hope this works out for you!!

So true! Thank you for reminding me of this. I initially missed the job I had prior to my last job as well! It was another place where I was good at the job and had lots of friends. I left because I wanted to make more money, and I was initially sad it couldn't have happened with the previous job. Once I was settled in, I wouldn't have traded my then new job for the old one even if they matched the pay or even paid a little more. I hope the same happens here. 

31 minutes ago, peacheslatour said:

That has been my experience as well. I would give it some more time. But seriously, don't go in the basement.🕷️

Haha good advice! Trust me, I won't. I'm a scaredy cat. 

[Bastet]

22 minutes ago, RealHousewife said:

Do you all think it's appropriate to meet with him just us?

Of course; it's just lunch with a former co-worker, and your respective genders are irrelevant to that.

23 minutes ago, RealHousewife said:

Once I was settled in, I wouldn't have traded my then new job for the old one even if they matched the pay or even paid a little more. I hope the same happens here.

I suspect it will; you're still in the adjustment period, where the bad things seem worse than they are, and your biggest problems are a boss who isn't very responsive to emails and less interaction with others in general than you'd prefer.  That's a lot easier to deal with than having a job where your biggest problem is a hostile work environment and outright harassment!  Talk to her about her preferred communication method, saying you don't want to bombard her with unwanted emails but also don't want to miss anything during this training stage, and that will likely wind up being an issue easy to address and adapt.  As time goes on, you'll get to know some co-workers via correspondence and meetings at first, and then in-person interaction and even socialization may follow.

[RealHousewife]

5 minutes ago, Bastet said:

Of course; it's just lunch with a former co-worker, and your respective genders are irrelevant to that.

I suspect it will; you're still in the adjustment period, where the bad things seem worse than they are, and your biggest problems are a boss who isn't very responsive to emails and less interaction with others in general than you'd prefer.  That's a lot easier to deal with than having a job where your biggest problem is a hostile work environment and outright harassment!  Talk to her about her preferred communication method, saying you don't want to bombard her with unwanted emails but also don't want to miss anything during this training stage, and that will likely wind up being an issue easy to address and adapt.  As time goes on, you'll get to know some co-workers via correspondence and meetings at first, and then in-person interaction and even socialization may follow.

Thank you for your input! I tend to see things like you unless I think a man and I are not on the same page about our friendship. 

100% Despite my venting, I'm still so grateful for my new job. I'm sure all of this will just force me to get out more during nights and weekends and be grateful for the friendships I've kept from my last place. It means a lot that the few I was closest to still care about me as well. Sometimes, out of sight, out of mind. 

 

[Bastet]

23 minutes ago, RealHousewife said:

It means a lot that the few I was closest to still care about me as well. Sometimes, out of sight, out of mind.

Yes, sometimes friendships turn out to be situation specific, and this is especially common with co-workers.  You have those you shoot the shit with in the office, then those you sometimes go to lunch with, grab happy hour drinks with before heading home on a Friday, etc, and maybe even some you occasionally do something with on the weekend due to a common interest.  But once you no longer work together, you generally lose touch with the first group, much of the second, and maybe even the third. 

And there's nothing wrong with that, but it's also a nice bonus when the friendships continue.  I worked with a great group of women for about five years 25 years ago, and we spent non-work time together as a group and in various pairings/groupings during those years.  More than average, certainly, but, still, who knew what the future would hold once we all moved on?  Of the five OGs, four of us are still friends all these years later.  For some time, we'd get together as a group four times a year (for each of our birthdays, as they were pretty evenly spread out), and then some various duo outings in between.  With time that tapered off, and one moved out of state, so the whole-group gatherings are now rare, but we all keep in touch and us locals still get together in various pairings, or as a trio, just more sporadically.

[Yeah No]

15 hours ago, kristen111 said:

Apparently favoritetism was at play.  The luck of the draw.  Who knows?  Some posters get so insulted they would never come back no matter what.

In my case I think it was both luck and favoritism.  I was posting on a reality competition show and knew one of the contestants in real life.  Someone on the thread kept saying mean things about them that were way off base and that I knew were totally unfair and untrue, like saying they were a fake, sexist and had no talent, etc.  I don't know why they kept going on like that especially because they didn't know the contestant except for the show and that person never once acted like an asshole on the show and had quite a list of accomplishments.  Also, this poster had to know I knew the person because I had made reference to it a few times. 

Anyway I kept my mouth shut about it for a long time but then one day they got particularly insulting so I replied to their quote that I knew the person personally and would never say those things about them.  I then listed all the great things that person had achieved and done to support my opinion of them.  I was never disrespectful or personal in my response.

Anyway, the next thing I knew I had been banned without explanation.  It just happened that unrelated to this I had been emailing privately at the time with one of the people on the thread and they were shocked by my banning especially because they were a moderator themselves.  So they told me they'd check around and find out if there was anything they could do to help me.  They got back to me that unfortunately there was nothing they could do because they found out that I had been banned by the board admin. at that time and for their own reasons they felt that approaching them about it wouldn't be received well. I didn't want them to feel like they had to stick their neck out for me so they suggested that I resubscribe with a new name and account, and that's what I did.

Anyway we theorized that maybe the person I replied to on that thread had friends in high places which perhaps included the board admin., and they just didn't like the way I responded to them even if it didn't violate any board rules.  So they had me banned.  It sucked even more because I was afraid that the board admin. would find out it was me if I resubbed with a new account and let anyone know it was me, so I had to conceal my identity from everyone.  That was all years ago now so it's water under the bridge, but to this day I'm still afraid to let people know what my former screen name was.  I know some of you here would have recognized my screen name at the time, but by this time you probably wouldn't remember me. 

Edited April 23 by Yeah No

[Cloud9Shopper]

I can’t wait until my church choir is done for the summer. (Thankfully it is now late April so it won’t be much longer.) We were learning a new song and I missed a rest or an entrance or something like that, and the conductor (a different person than the director/organist) admonished me/called me out in front of the group and pointed right at me for not looking at her and missing my mark. The director did nothing about this and just agreed with her.

First of all, this is a non-professional church choir and we’re not singing this song for at least three weeks. Cut me a break if I look down at an unfamiliar piece of music the first night we get it. I’m also not going to be in a choir that admonishes me like I’m a child for making a mistake. 

Oh, and the director continues to hold us there for over an hour. I wouldn’t mind an hour and 10 minutes but at an hour and 15 you really need to start wrapping it up. He always wants to do “just one more song” or “look at this part again.” While I’m happy that he and everyone else in the choir has time to sit in church for 90 minutes or more, I no longer have that kind of time. He’s a nice person but I’m sick of how discourteous he is about practice times and doesn’t even seem to keep an eye on a clock. Even when someone leaves early to catch their ride, he doesn’t seem to get that he should be more efficient. For an amateur group, we sure have to practice like we’re gearing up for America’s Got Talent rather than Sunday Mass in a city of 10,000 people. I don’t want that kind of pressure for a church choir. I don’t want to be yelled at like I’m in an elementary school chorus. When practice was over last night, I left immediately. Didn’t even stay for conversation. 

Maybe I’ll skip practice next week. We’ll see. 

 

Edited April 23 by Cloud9Shopper

[shapeshifter]

58 minutes ago, Cloud9Shopper said:

…church choir…We were learning a new song and I missed a rest or an entrance or something like that, and the conductor (a different person than the director/organist) admonished me/called me out in front of the group and pointed right at me for not looking at her and missing my mark. The director did nothing about this and just agreed with her.…
Maybe I’ll skip practice next week. We’ll see. 

Ugh. I hate things like that. 
Maybe the conductor is going through something personally?
But that's not an excuse for discouraging someone from singing in a church choir. 
That conductor needs to skip practice next week!

Maybe just sing from the pews next week where you can essentially lead those immediately around you in song?
(and enjoy singing!)

Edited April 23 by shapeshifter

[bluegirl147]

7 hours ago, Yeah No said:

Anyway we theorized that maybe the person I replied to on that thread had friends in high places which perhaps included the board admin., and they just didn't like the way I responded to them even if it didn't violate any board rules. 

Or it was a mod with an alt account. I was once banned shortly after another poster suggested I like more posts.  I politely told her I didn't like any posts and to not take it personally.  I now realize she was most likely a mod in disguise. There were lots of things going on behind the scenes most of us were not privy to.  One particular thread I post on would have what appeared to be a new poster swoop in and be deliberately antagonistic and start arguments and then disappear.  And then a couple months later another new poster and rinse and repeat.  With what I know now some people behind the scenes for their own reasons were sowing dissent on multiple threads. So the past few months have been welcome change from all that.

[Yeah No]

1 minute ago, bluegirl147 said:

Or it was a mod with an alt account. I was once banned shortly after another poster suggested I like more posts.  I politely told her I didn't like any posts and to not take it personally.  I now realize she was most likely a mod in disguise. There were lots of things going on behind the scenes most of us were not privy to.  One particular thread I post on would have what appeared to be a new poster swoop in and be deliberately antagonistic and start arguments and then disappear.  And then a couple months later another new poster and rinse and repeat.  With what I know now some people behind the scenes for their own reasons were sowing dissent on multiple threads. So the past few months have been welcome change from all that.

Yeah, a mod. with an alt. account - that thought crossed my mind too.  I have a suspicious mind.  I have thought that before about other posters as well.  I got the impression from that mod. I was writing to via email that there was a lot going on behind the scenes and it could be very political.  They didn't want to divulge any of the specifics but I got that impression so I had to take their word for it that there was nothing they could do to help me. 

BTW, that person stepped down as a mod. a few months later and then a year or so after that left the board.  If they resubbed under another screen name I have never been able to identify them.  They used to talk about certain subjects and post on certain threads so it would have been hard for them to change all that to remain anonymous.  I think in their case they just got disgusted for their own reasons and left for good.

[Yeah No]

1 hour ago, Cloud9Shopper said:

I can’t wait until my church choir is done for the summer. (Thankfully it is now late April so it won’t be much longer.) We were learning a new song and I missed a rest or an entrance or something like that, and the conductor (a different person than the director/organist) admonished me/called me out in front of the group and pointed right at me for not looking at her and missing my mark. The director did nothing about this and just agreed with her.

First of all, this is a non-professional church choir and we’re not singing this song for at least three weeks. Cut me a break if I look down at an unfamiliar piece of music the first night we get it. I’m also not going to be in a choir that admonishes me like I’m a child for making a mistake. 

Oh, and the director continues to hold us there for over an hour. I wouldn’t mind an hour and 10 minutes but at an hour and 15 you really need to start wrapping it up. He always wants to do “just one more song” or “look at this part again.” While I’m happy that he and everyone else in the choir has time to sit in church for 90 minutes or more, I no longer have that kind of time. He’s a nice person but I’m sick of how discourteous he is about practice times and doesn’t even seem to keep an eye on a clock. Even when someone leaves early to catch their ride, he doesn’t seem to get that he should be more efficient. For an amateur group, we sure have to practice like we’re gearing up for America’s Got Talent rather than Sunday Mass in a city of 10,000 people. I don’t want that kind of pressure for a church choir. I don’t want to be yelled at like I’m in an elementary school chorus. When practice was over last night, I left immediately. Didn’t even stay for conversation. 

Maybe I’ll skip practice next week. We’ll see. 

That sucks.  I think I've mentioned before how the last time I sang in a choir we got a new choir director who could be like that.  I think some of these people need a reality check.  They live in their own little self-important world where they think they can say and do whatever they want and know they can get away with it.  They don't care that most of the people are not professionals and have lives of their own apart from the choir.  That's one reason I left my last choir and church and have never joined another one.  My husband has found a new church and sings in the choir but for many reasons I have never joined with him.  Even though he says it's not like that in his present church I hate to say I still don't want to join (and he is supportive of that).  My opinion, but a lot of churches seem to attract people like that and I got tired of it so I never had the desire to put myself in that potential situation again. 

[kristen111]

33 minutes ago, bluegirl147 said:

Or it was a mod with an alt account. I was once banned shortly after another poster suggested I like more posts.  I politely told her I didn't like any posts and to not take it personally.  I now realize she was most likely a mod in disguise. There were lots of things going on behind the scenes most of us were not privy to.  One particular thread I post on would have what appeared to be a new poster swoop in and be deliberately antagonistic and start arguments and then disappear.  And then a couple months later another new poster and rinse and repeat.  With what I know now some people behind the scenes for their own reasons were sowing dissent on multiple threads. So the past few months have been welcome change from all that.

N.M.

[Ohiopirate02]

1 hour ago, bluegirl147 said:

Or it was a mod with an alt account. I was once banned shortly after another poster suggested I like more posts.  I politely told her I didn't like any posts and to not take it personally.  I now realize she was most likely a mod in disguise. There were lots of things going on behind the scenes most of us were not privy to.  One particular thread I post on would have what appeared to be a new poster swoop in and be deliberately antagonistic and start arguments and then disappear.  And then a couple months later another new poster and rinse and repeat.  With what I know now some people behind the scenes for their own reasons were sowing dissent on multiple threads. So the past few months have been welcome change from all that.

That was one thing I had no idea was going on until late last year.  In a now sunsetted forum, there were accounts that were swooping in upvoting rather hateful comments and leaving some as well that were just odd.  Accounts made back in 2014-2017ish that never posted anything and never reacted to anything before.  It made no sense for accounts that were barely active to just show up out of nowhere.  Mod alts is the only thing that makes sense.  

56 minutes ago, Yeah No said:

Yeah, a mod. with an alt. account - that thought crossed my mind too.  I have a suspicious mind.  I have thought that before about other posters as well.  I got the impression from that mod. I was writing to via email that there was a lot going on behind the scenes and it could be very political.  They didn't want to divulge any of the specifics but I got that impression so I had to take their word for it that there was nothing they could do to help me. 

BTW, that person stepped down as a mod. a few months later and then a year or so after that left the board.  If they resubbed under another screen name I have never been able to identify them.  They used to talk about certain subjects and post on certain threads so it would have been hard for them to change all that to remain anonymous.  I think in their case they just got disgusted for their own reasons and left for good.

I also found out a couple of months ago that the old community manager's daughter was also a mod on here.  If the mod that you crossed for whatever reason was her, then you had no recourse.  

[Cloud9Shopper]

3 hours ago, Yeah No said:

That sucks.  I think I've mentioned before how the last time I sang in a choir we got a new choir director who could be like that.  I think some of these people need a reality check.  They live in their own little self-important world where they think they can say and do whatever they want and know they can get away with it.  They don't care that most of the people are not professionals and have lives of their own apart from the choir.  That's one reason I left my last choir and church and have never joined another one.  My husband has found a new church and sings in the choir but for many reasons I have never joined with him.  Even though he says it's not like that in his present church I hate to say I still don't want to join (and he is supportive of that).  My opinion, but a lot of churches seem to attract people like that and I got tired of it so I never had the desire to put myself in that potential situation again. 

The director at my mom’s church is very nice but can also get almost too focused on the pageantry and all the “special” church days, and the photos for social media. Last year after an event they insisted on a picture and then said wait it’s too blurry! The priest said “OK that’s enough!” and started walking away. 🤣I like the way he thinks. Take one picture and be done with it. 

They had their first communion Mass this past Sunday and it was ridiculous to see how many parents and relatives had their phones out during readings and during the start of the communion prayers to take pictures of their precious (who they probably won’t bring back to church until confirmation). Plus there was a professional photographer. For first communion. Where I live some parents even take their daughters to New York for first communion dresses. I know this dates me a lot but it feels like nothing is sacred anymore, even in church. It seems like most of the time it’s more about how many instrumentalists accompany the choir and the perfect group picture and how many pictures you can take for Facebook. I’ve been to events where they don’t even put down the camera when people are eating. Enough already! 

Edited April 23 by Cloud9Shopper

[SweetSable]

On 4/20/2024 at 4:51 PM, Mindthinkr said:

Plus things like Advil aren’t usually in stock over there. They use paracetamol.

FYI - paracetamol is the same thing as Tylenol.

[PRgal]

1 hour ago, Cloud9Shopper said:

The director at my mom’s church is very nice but can also get almost too focused on the pageantry and all the “special” church days, and the photos for social media. Last year after an event they insisted on a picture and then said wait it’s too blurry! The priest said “OK that’s enough!” and started walking away. 🤣I like the way he thinks. Take one picture and be done with it. 

They had their first communion Mass this past Sunday and it was ridiculous to see how many parents and relatives had their phones out during readings and during the start of the communion prayers to take pictures of their precious (who they probably won’t bring back to church until confirmation). Plus there was a professional photographer. For first communion. Where I live some parents even take their daughters to New York for first communion dresses. I know this dates me a lot but it feels like nothing is sacred anymore, even in church. It seems like most of the time it’s more about how many instrumentalists accompany the choir and the perfect group picture and how many pictures you can take for Facebook. I’ve been to events where they don’t even put down the camera when people are eating. Enough already! 

Parents buying their daughters fancy communion dresses was the very reason why they put us all in ugly white choir gowns for ours.  And this was in 1987.

[Quof]

Quote

FYI - paracetamol is the same thing as Tylenol.

It's always a good idea to learn the generic rather than proprietary name of everyday products, especially when traveling. I had to find treatment for a sunburn in France, and frankly wouldn't have known what to look for at home because I'd never had a sunburn before.  It was a real test of my French vocabulary, and ultimately my charade skills, to get the most awesome ointment which I brought home and used on kitchen and other burns for many months. 

I'm always astonished when travellers expect the rest of the world to be just like it is at home (then why travel???) I can't count the number of times I've heard American tourists (Not talking about anyone on this forum, just citing my lived experience) ask "What does this cost in real dollars?" and question why "TSA" in another country doesn't follow the same airport security rules as the United States Transportation Security Administration. 

[annzeepark914]

2 hours ago, Quof said:

It's always a good idea to learn the generic rather than proprietary name of everyday products, especially when traveling. I had to find treatment for a sunburn in France, and frankly wouldn't have known what to look for at home because I'd never had a sunburn before.  It was a real test of my French vocabulary, and ultimately my charade skills, to get the most awesome ointment which I brought home and used on kitchen and other burns for many months. 

I'm always astonished when travellers expect the rest of the world to be just like it is at home (then why travel???) I can't count the number of times I've heard American tourists (Not talking about anyone on this forum, just citing my lived experience) ask "What does this cost in real dollars?" and question why "TSA" in another country doesn't follow the same airport security rules as the United States Transportation Security Administration. 

Back in 2001, I had just arrived in Stockholm & wasn't feeling well. The hotel staff sent me to a special drug store for info' or advice. I went there & they told me to go to a clinic at 5 PM. I went, had tests done & saw a (very cute!) doctor. He wanted to prescribe an antibiotic so I got out my list of the ones I can handle. But they were brand names & he needed the pharmaceutical name. He gave me a Rx for one (costs me $12.00) but I felt woozy the next day. Did some research on the hotel's computer (pre-laptop, smartphone) & got the generic names of the drugs I took at home. Went back the next day & got a familiar Rx ($12.00 again, thank you Sweden! 🇸🇪) and had a good vacation. After that I've always traveled with a list of Rx's with the proper names.

[peacheslatour]

1 hour ago, annzeepark914 said:

Back in 2001, I had just arrived in Stockholm & wasn't feeling well. The hotel staff sent me to a special drug store for info' or advice. I went there & they told me to go to a clinic at 5 PM. I went, had tests done & saw a (very cute!) doctor. He wanted to prescribe an antibiotic so I got out my list of the ones I can handle. But they were brand names & he needed the pharmaceutical name. He gave me a Rx for one (costs me $12.00) but I felt woozy the next day. Did some research on the hotel's computer (pre-laptop, smartphone) & got the generic names of the drugs I took at home. Went back the next day & got a familiar Rx ($12.00 again, thank you Sweden! 🇸🇪) and had a good vacation. After that I've always traveled with a list of Rx's with the proper names.

That's really smart!  I never would have thought of that.