Chit-Chat: What's On Your Mind Today?

[PRgal]

15 minutes ago, Mindthinkr said:

 Very easily. I eat plain popcorn with no flavorings, butter or salt. I, by default, have been on my Dad’s low to no sodium diet for decades. When you aren’t used to it you don’t crave it. It also gives me difficulties as prepared food, eating out or regular canned foods are usually too salty for me. Even when I try to use the lower sodium options. Basically I have to cook from scratch every night. 

That's true.  I didn't grow up with a lot of North American "kid" foods like boxed cereal (we mostly ate plain instant oatmeal, though I DID get the flavoured stuff in high school...I probably ate that once a week at most) and cookies, ice cream and cake (and pop) were once in a while treats.  I just don't want that stuff.  I didn't even finish my Halloween candy growing up.  I don't understand the whole concept of eating ice cream when one is depressed.  It wasn't like it was "forbidden" - we just didn't buy it.  

[StatisticalOutlier]

On 4/1/2024 at 2:01 AM, Yeah No said:

After my father died during those dark first days of the pandemic I allowed myself 5 dark M&Ms per day and my weight shot up 25 lbs. on that alone.  

Arithmetic would appear to indicate that the M&Ms couldn't be solely to blame.

Doing the math:  Dark M&Ms are about 4 calories each (M&M's site says 34 pieces is 140 calories).  Eating 5 a day adds 20 calories.  If it takes 3500 calories to gain a pound, in a year those 5 M&Ms every day would add 7,300 calories, or a little over two pounds.  It would take over 10 years to produce a weight gain of 25 pounds.

Or, wait--did you mean 5 bags of dark M&Ms?  But that would be hard to maintain for very long, especially because it looks like the dark M&Ms come only in the 9.4-ounce "sharing size," with 1,300 calories per bag.  Even a sugar fiend like me wouldn't be able to down five of those every day for an extended period of time (plus I don't like dark chocolate).

I say all that, but 40 years ago I realized Mrs. Baird's (bread company out of Fort Worth) was using the wrong nutrition information box on their loaf of white bread.  I cut the nutrition information box out and sent it to them.  They sent a letter back saying I was mistaken, that I was using Texas toast.  I sent a letter back saying all I use white bread for is a delivery mechanism for butter and sugar and cinnamon for cinnamon toast, and I'm not going to waste calories on extra thick bread for that. 

More letters back and forth, until I eventually went to the store and bought another loaf, and sent them the whole wrapper, with the clearly incorrect nutrition box on it.  However, before they got that wrapper, they'd sent me a terse letter saying I was wrong and to bug off, which I hadn't received yet.

So imagine my surprise when one morning, Vernon Baird himself calls me on the phone, long distance, person-to-person.  (For those of you who grew up seeing Mrs. Baird's commercials on TV, I can say that I would have recognized his voice even if he hadn't identified himself.)

Vernon was profusely apologetic, saying I'd been right all along, and they were going to figure out what had happened.  I said I was glad to hear that because I knew I was right, and I was wondering if I should call the FDA or something and he said, "No, no, no, don't do that."  He then asked what I did for a living or whatever, and I said, "I'm in law school."  And he said, "That's a good place for you."  😀

So we hung up as friends, and then I got the terse letter they had sent that he obviously very very sincerely wished they hadn't.

Suffice to day I don't believe everything I read on a given nutrition information box, but 5 M&Ms a day just can't be enough to produce a such a significant weight gain.

Edited April 3 by StatisticalOutlier
forgot the butter

[Caoimhe]

6 hours ago, shapeshifter said:

My name is shapeshifter and I am a butter-holic.
I fry my eggs in butter. Salted butter. 
[hangs head in shame]

Thank you for solving my dinner choice tonight,  I will be having eggs fried in salted (Kerrygold) butter.  No shame here! 😁

[Bastet]

I don't eat eggs (well, egg whites for me, as I hate yolks) all that often, since my first meal of the day is early afternoon so I usually go for leftovers or a lunch food (salad, soup, or wrap), but when I do make an egg white scramble or fried egg whites, I always have them with bacon or some sort of sausage, so I just use some of the fat from that.  I even keep a little thing of bacon fat in the refrigerator for when I'm using a chicken sausage that doesn't give me any/enough fat to use to fry an egg.  I don't dislike eggs made with butter or oil, but, especially for just a plain ol' friend egg white, I want it with sausage fat instead.

Fried egg whites are the only thing to which I add salt at the table.  I may use salt while cooking things (but season more with pepper, other spices, and fresh herbs), but to sit down and sprinkle salt on top of what I've made, that only happens with fried eggs.  Oh, and popcorn, as mentioned upthread, unless I happen to have some salted butter to use instead of my usual unsalted.

So, thanks to this discussion, I just had bacon and fried egg whites for lunch.

[peacheslatour]

21 minutes ago, Bastet said:

I don't eat eggs (well, egg whites for me, as I hate yolks) all that often, since my first meal of the day is early afternoon so I usually go for leftovers or a lunch food (salad, soup, or wrap), but when I do make an egg white scramble or fried egg whites, I always have them with bacon or some sort of sausage, so I just use some of the fat from that.  I even keep a little thing of bacon fat in the refrigerator for when I'm using a chicken sausage that doesn't give me any/enough fat to use to fry an egg.  I don't dislike eggs made with butter or oil, but, especially for just a plain ol' friend egg white, I want it with sausage fat instead.

Fried egg whites are the only thing to which I add salt at the table.  I may use salt while cooking things (but season more with pepper, other spices, and fresh herbs), but to sit down and sprinkle salt on top of what I've made, that only happens with fried eggs.  Oh, and popcorn, as mentioned upthread, unless I happen to have some salted butter to use instead of my usual unsalted.

So, thanks to this discussion, I just had bacon and fried egg whites for lunch.

I eat a late breakfast as well. I will have leftover pizza, spaghetti, tacos, what ever. I don't see where it's written that we have to have eggs, cereal or any of the other "breakfast" foods. I love pancakes for dinner.

[isalicat]

I eat a late breakfast when I can...often around lunchtime actually if the cats let me sleep in...but then I have breakfast food because I love breakfast (scrambled eggs with lots of cheese, or fried eggs with two-three strips of lowered sodium bacon...) and skip lunch, or just have a simple salad mid afternoon. Those days I only eat breakfast and dinner I am guaranteed to lose weight so its my easy go to when I gain an unneeded pound or two these days 😺

[Mondrianyone]

33 minutes ago, Bastet said:

I don't eat eggs (well, egg whites for me, as I hate yolks)

One of the many reasons I miss having my sister living nearby. When we lived in the same house and there were hard-boiled eggs on the menu, I would slip her my whites under the table and she'd let me have her yolks. Now I have to just gulp down as much of the whites as I can stand.

1 hour ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

I cut the nutrition information box out and sent it to them.

This reminds me of something my husband did back in the day. He sent Campbell's a letter saying they must have made a terrible mistake, because he opened a can of pork and beans and actually found a piece of pork in among the beans. They sent him a coupon for another can.

Breakfast for dinner is my favorite meal. I call it BFD--which in this usage does not stand for "big f-in' deal," although to me it is.

[Quof]

All this egg talk is making me slightly nauseated; I hate eggs.  You would never know that to look in my compost bin, because I do love cookies. 😃

[annzeepark914]

7 hours ago, peacheslatour said:

I never salt eggs. Unless we buy unsalted butter, there is plenty of salt in regular butter. I use a lot of herbs and yes, cheese. I get plenty of salt without adding any. One exception - popcorn. How are you gonna eat popcorn without salt? Fortunately, I don't eat it very often.

Hmmm...several years ago, at an old recipe forum called Gail's Recipe Swap, I learned that someone out in Hawaii, on a diet, used 1 Tbsp Oil & 3Tbsps popcorn. I've used it ever since w/ just a minimal sprinkle of fine sea salt. It's great w/ a glass of Pinot Grigio 🤗

[stewedsquash]

Best gift I got many years ago was this popper. 1tbs oil 3tbs corn add melted salted butter when popped. No salt. I use white kernels not yellow and the popcorn is much more tender. Any brand is good. If I am near an Amish place that I get to once in a while down here in NC I get it otherwise Jiffy or Orvil are my go to brands, just for availability. 
I get lightly salted potato chips, for years now, and it was a life changer taste and mouth feel wise. UTZ even has a no salt flat chip that is really good. I am more about the potato than the salt. 
eta mine isn’t an Orvil popper just regular presto one. Everything is the same it just doesn’t have that label.

Edited April 3 by stewedsquash
Punctuation

[GHScorpiosRule]

29 minutes ago, stewedsquash said:

Best gift I got many years ago was this popper. 1tbs oil 3tbs corn add melted salted butter when popped. No salt. I use white kernels not yellow and the popcorn is much more tender. Any brand is good. If I am near an Amish place that I get to once in a while down here in NC I get it otherwise Jiffy or Orvil are my go to brands, just for availability. 
I get lightly salted potato chips, for years now, and it was a life changer taste and mouth feel wise. UTZ even has a no salt flat chip that is really good. I am more about the potato than the salt. 
eta mine isn’t an Orvil popper just regular presto one. Everything is the same it just doesn’t have that label.

Gotta find me this!

And sorry, but I needs me my salt!

[GHScorpiosRule]

Found this instead! No oil! 
 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited April 3 by GHScorpiosRule

[Yeah No]

15 hours ago, Calvada said:

I don't use salt on very much; I usually use pepper or a salt-free seasoning mix from Penzey's.  The one they call Justice is great - shallots, garlic, chives, green peppercorns, onion.  It's really good on potatoes, eggs, or any veggies.  They have some good pepper blends.  My favorite is Florida Seasoned Pepper, a mix of black pepper, lemon peel, orange peel, garlic & onion.  I also love their Black and Red Spice, a mix of black pepper and cayenne red pepper.  

And I too cook eggs in salted butter!

Oh I LOVE Penzey's salt free seasonings and use them myself.  Justice is a good one.  I tend to use a bunch of their herb blends like "Sunny Paris", Boquet Garni or Herbs de Provence in my eggs to make up for salt and I do use salted butter so not much extra salt is needed.  And even then I use a light sprinkle of the Morton's Light Salt which is 50% sodium reduced.  I have a trial sized packet of the Florida Seasoned Pepper but haven't tried it yet.  Now I will.  Thanks!

[Yeah No]

11 hours ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

Arithmetic would appear to indicate that the M&Ms couldn't be solely to blame.

Doing the math:  Dark M&Ms are about 4 calories each (M&M's site says 34 pieces is 140 calories).  Eating 5 a day adds 20 calories.  If it takes 3500 calories to gain a pound, in a year those 5 M&Ms every day would add 7,300 calories, or a little over two pounds.  It would take over 10 years to produce a weight gain of 25 pounds.

Or, wait--did you mean 5 bags of dark M&Ms?  But that would be hard to maintain for very long, especially because it looks like the dark M&Ms come only in the 9.4-ounce "sharing size," with 1,300 calories per bag.  Even a sugar fiend like me wouldn't be able to down five of those every day for an extended period of time (plus I don't like dark chocolate).

No, I didn't eat 5 bags, LOL, only 5 M&Ms a day.  I think the issue for me is that according to one expensive DNA test I took I'm particularly starchy carb. and sugar sensitive, which changes things.  Plus there's the possible thyroid condition I've talked about in the medical thread.  I can't even LOOK at chocolate because even dark chocolate has significant amounts of both of those things plus fat.  And M&M dark chocolate isn't as low in sugar as many dark chocolates are.  When I was younger those things were not an issue for me.  I could eat 5 M&Ms per day with no effect.  Unfortunately that is not the case for me since perimenopause.  And I've tried the sugar free dark chocolate and forget that too.  I don't even eat popcorn anymore because it's too much of a "starchy carb".  I have to pick and choose my starches and their amounts carefully.

Of course I also think I was under a lot of stress during those dark early days of the pandemic, having just lost my father to Covid in a very sad and awful way.  And there was the relative lack of exercise thanks to the lockdowns too.  I made a special point not to increase my food intake but I just couldn't refrain from those 5 daily M&Ms.  But I have tried eating small amounts of chocolate while exercising and not under a lot of stress and I still gain weight no matter what else I'm doing to counteract it!

I am fully aware that if I didn't restrict my diet so much I would look like my mother did at my age.  I'm getting choked up just looking at her photo on my mantle right now.  She was only 4'11" tall and looked like a little ball.  The poor thing. She died at 76.  Now you know why I restrict my diet so much and push myself to get exercise.

[PRgal]

@Yeah No:  I have a bar of Taza’s 95% dark chocolate in front of me (unopened) and half the bar has 2 g of sugar.  But it’s also 210 calories and half of one’s daily intake of saturated fat.  If you’re not familiar with Taza, it’s a direct trade brand based in Massachusetts.  It’ll probably take me forever to go through an entire bar.  I was kind of taught to savour chocolate.   

[shapeshifter]

25 minutes ago, PRgal said:

@Yeah No:  I have a bar of Taza’s 95% dark chocolate in front of me (unopened) and half the bar has 2 g of sugar.  But it’s also 210 calories and half of one’s daily intake of saturated fat.  If you’re not familiar with Taza, it’s a direct trade brand based in Massachusetts.  It’ll probably take me forever to go through an entire bar.  I was kind of taught to savour chocolate.   

A 95% or even 85% bar of chocolate will last at least a month for me. I add little bits to my cocoa. 

But a 75% dark chocolate bar might disappear in a couple of days, depending upon what other food is around etc.

[Yeah No]

58 minutes ago, PRgal said:

@Yeah No:  I have a bar of Taza’s 95% dark chocolate in front of me (unopened) and half the bar has 2 g of sugar.  But it’s also 210 calories and half of one’s daily intake of saturated fat.  If you’re not familiar with Taza, it’s a direct trade brand based in Massachusetts.  It’ll probably take me forever to go through an entire bar.  I was kind of taught to savour chocolate.   

Yes, I've seen that brand in supermarkets near me.  I have to limit saturated fat too so unfortunately there's no chocolate I can justify on any regular basis.  And I've tried 95% chocolate and it's a little too something for me.  I can do 85%, though.  That doesn't mean I'm without any chocolate in my life, though.  I get it in the form of sugar free chocolate syrup, sugar/fat free chocolate pudding, and my favorite little flourless low fat, low carb/almost zero sugar "Keto" cakes that I eat for dessert when I need that cakey-chocolatey fix.  I know it has some erythritol in it which is currently suspected of possibly being unhealthy but I'm not having that much of it that often so I'm not really worried about that.

https://www.veggiesmadegreat.com/muffins/keto-friendly-chocolate-raspberry-muffins

And of course I allow myself one Zachary chocolate marshmallow egg per day around Easter and I still have a couple of cartons left.  I seem to be able to have one per day without too much trouble.  It's encased in a very thin layer of dark chocolate so it gives that candy experience I miss so much.

[JustHereForFood]

22 hours ago, peacheslatour said:

Unless we buy unsalted butter, there is plenty of salt in regular butter. 

As a European, I'm always surprised that salted butter is considered regular in some countries. I know I've heard it before, but it's like my brain can't comprehend it, so I'm always surprised anew. 

[Calvada]

6 hours ago, Yeah No said:

Oh I LOVE Penzey's salt free seasonings and use them myself.  Justice is a good one.  I tend to use a bunch of their herb blends like "Sunny Paris", Boquet Garni or Herbs de Provence in my eggs to make up for salt and I do use salted butter so not much extra salt is needed.  And even then I use a light sprinkle of the Morton's Light Salt which is 50% sodium reduced.  I have a trial sized packet of the Florida Seasoned Pepper but haven't tried it yet.  Now I will.  Thanks!

My go-to side dish year-round, but so good this time of year - asparagus with a little olive oil sprayed on it and sprinkled with Florida Seasoned Pepper, then roasted in the oven. Yum! 

[JustHereForFood]

I'm not on Reddit and don't plan to join, but I have discovered two new youtubers who frequently do videos about posts in some subreddit called "am I the asshole?". My God, it is so addictive. I generally don't like getting into other people's business, but since these people ask for opinions on their situations, I don't feel bad to analyse it. I have already learned I have some strong opinions I was not aware of on some topics 😄. It's pretty time-consuming to watch and then read all of the comments though, so I can't make a habit of this.

[peacheslatour]

51 minutes ago, JustHereForFood said:

I'm not on Reddit and don't plan to join, but I have discovered two new youtubers who frequently do videos about posts in some subreddit called "am I the asshole?". My God, it is so addictive. I generally don't like getting into other people's business, but since these people ask for opinions on their situations, I don't feel bad to analyse it. I have already learned I have some strong opinions I was not aware of on some topics 😄. It's pretty time-consuming to watch and then read all of the comments though, so I can't make a habit of this.

Reddit has just had another format change. My lord, it's a mess. Anyway, I'm not seeing AITA anymore. 

1 hour ago, Calvada said:

My go-to side dish year-round, but so good this time of year - asparagus with a little olive oil sprayed on it and sprinkled with Florida Seasoned Pepper, then roasted in the oven. Yum! 

I love asparagus in the spring! Yesterday I made an asparagus and gouda quiche. So fresh and comforting.

[kristen111]

On 4/2/2024 at 3:47 AM, shapeshifter said:

But I think I did used to salt the pasta water when I was married? Not sure. 35 years ago.

I use salt on everything.  I’m still alive, and I’m old.  I do not smoke, drink alcohol, use Pot or any illegal drugs.  I cook healthy .. meat, fish, veggies, potatoes, etc.  what more can I do?  How can a little salt hurt a person?   Unles you’re deathly allergic to it.

 

Edited April 3 by kristen111

[shapeshifter]

1 hour ago, peacheslatour said:

Reddit has just had another format change. My lord, it's a mess. Anyway, I'm not seeing AITA anymore. 

AmItheasshole

[kristen111]

1 hour ago, peacheslatour said:

Reddit has just had another format change. My lord, it's a mess. Anyway, I'm not seeing AITA anymore. 

I love asparagus in the spring! Yesterday I made an asparagus and gouda quiche. So fresh and comforting.

Yes .. I also made two big bunches of asparagus yesterday.  With olive oil and a dash of garlic, in the oven.  Yesterday they were $99.  Usually $3.99.  Maybe came from California?

Edited April 3 by kristen111

[peacheslatour]

13 minutes ago, shapeshifter said:

AmItheasshole

Thank you but I am glad I'm not seeing it anymore. Although I used to entertain my husband with it of an evening.

[ECM1231]

My high school is having our 50th reunion in August! Yes, I am that old! I've attended others in the past but won't be attending this time b/c for one, I didn't meet the deadline for sending the check. The reunion committee had to determine how large a room to book for the venue, which necessitated the financial commitment of folks upfront by a certain date. Well, I am a bit disappointed, but that's water under the bridge.

What I do need is some input. The committee has put together a biography page that they'd like all of us to fill out, whether or not we will be attending. It asks for our maiden name, married name if applicable, our address, our email address, cell phone number, Spouse/Children/Employment, Other Information You'd Like to Add, and our Best Memory of high school. At the bottom of the page, it says that the information will be shared with our classmates. I am a bit confused why they need our home address and phone number. I'd not like to share that with all, but I have no issue saying which TOWN I live in. 

Anyway, I can sort that stuff out, but here's where I need some input.

I have both a B. S. degree in Secondary Education and a M.A. post grad degree in Spanish. I taught for a few years in a parochial high school for girls. However, once I had my first child, I became a stay-at-home mom. I was a stay-at-home mom for about 14 years and then briefly returned to work as a substitute teacher in the school district that my children attended. 

The illness of my youngest child forced me to stop working for a period and then the death of my 22-year-old stepson (my husband's firstborn) while working at the WTC on 9/11 just shattered my/our world. I didn't feel ready to return to work for quite some time. When I did return, the condolences from the teachers I had grown close to, and just the sad looks, made me break into sobs daily. I just stopped working entirely.

Now, I've never regretted my decision to be a SAHM, although I'm sure my dad probably didn't appreciate his funding my college education if I didn't "do anything with it."  I never really aspired to be anything but a wife and mother, although I did enjoy teaching for the few years I worked. My youngest son has dyslexia and school was always a challenge for him, and I spent most of his childhood 'teaching' him anyway.

My dilemma is that with the advent of Facebook, I've reconnected with a lot of my former classmates. The women are all so accomplished and have had amazing careers. I'm a bit embarrassed by the fact that I had no career, so to speak. I was vice-president of our chapter of the National Honor Society and received several academic awards at our senior awards night. I had quite a bit of promise, which was never realized. I know I'm making too much of this and most of the folks attending will give the biographies not more than a passing glance, but I don't like feeling bad about the path I've chosen. 

 

Edited April 3 by ECM1231

[shapeshifter]

4 hours ago, ECM1231 said:

…page…to fill out, whether or not we will be attending.…here's where I need some input.
…a B. S. degree in Secondary Education and a M.A. post grad degree in Spanish. I taught for a few years…
stay-at-home mom…
returned to work as a substitute teacher….

My dilemma is that with the advent of Facebook, I've reconnected with a lot of my former classmates. The women are all so accomplished and have had amazing careers. I'm a bit embarrassed by the fact that I had no career, so to speak. I was vice-president of our chapter of the National Honor Society and won several academic awards at our senior awards night. I had quite a bit of promise, which was never realized. I know I'm making too much of this and most of the folks attending will give the biographies not more than a passing glance, but I don't like feeling bad about the path I've chosen. 

Since you asked…
In the parts of your post quoted above, you could just include the stuff I've bolded, without mentioning how long you were a SAHM. 
You could even simply say: “…returned to teaching”

Keep in mind that most of the people you've reconnected with over FaceBook who are "so accomplished" have probably [a-hem] embellished their bona fides at least a bit.😉

For example:
My sister — who attended a 4-year college from 1968-1970 — currently has under her FaceBook "About" info:
     Studied Art History/Education at Lake Forest College
     Graduated in 1972
She did not graduate, but she did matriculate as a member of “the class of 1972,” so I guess putting "Graduated in 1972" allows her former classmates to find her?
However, after her daughter went to school, she did make a lot of money as a financial planner after taking courses and getting certificates — but maybe she'd rather connect with artists and teachers? IDK.
🤷🏻‍♀️

I have nothing in my "About" section on FB, and never post pictures of myself. 
But lately I've thought of listing the schools I attended and places I worked so that anyone who wanted to reconnect could. 
I was especially thinking of the former students where I worked.
It might be nice to see how they're doing.

Edited April 3 by shapeshifter

[Bastet]

1 hour ago, ECM1231 said:

I know I'm making too much of this and most of the folks attending will give the biographies not more than a passing glance, but I don't like feeling bad about the path I've chosen. 

Nobody needs to know what you did and didn't do between high school and now if you don't want to tell them; you can just say you're enjoying retirement in [area], list your interests, and include among those visiting/getting visits from your # children and # grandchildren.

[Yeah No]

2 hours ago, ECM1231 said:

My high school is having our 50th reunion in August! Yes, I am that old! I've attended others in the past but won't be attending this time b/c for one, I didn't meet the deadline for sending the check. The reunion committee had to determine how large a room to book for the venue, which necessitated the financial commitment of folks upfront by a certain date. Well, I am a bit disappointed, but that's water under the bridge.

What I do need is some input. The committee has put together a biography page that they'd like all of us to fill out, whether or not we will be attending. It asks for our maiden name, married name if applicable, our address, our email address, cell phone number, Spouse/Children/Employment, Other Information You'd Like to Add, and our Best Memory of high school. At the bottom of the page, it says that the information will be shared with our classmates. I am a bit confused why they need our home address and phone number. I'd not like to share that with all, but I have no issue saying which TOWN I live in. 

Anyway, I can sort that stuff out, but here's where I need some input.

I have both a B. S. degree in Secondary Education and a M.A. post grad degree in Spanish. I taught for a few years in a parochial high school for girls. However, once I had my first child, I became a stay-at-home mom. I was a stay-at-home mom for about 14 years and then briefly returned to work as a substitute teacher in the school district that my children attended. 

The illness of my youngest child forced me to stop working for a period and then the death of my 22-year-old stepson (my husband's firstborn) while working at the WTC on 9/11 just shattered my/our world. I didn't feel ready to return to work for quite some time. When I did return, the condolences from the teachers I had grown close to, and just the sad looks, made me break into sobs daily. I just stopped working entirely.

Now, I've never regretted my decision to be a SAHM, although I'm sure my dad probably didn't appreciate his funding my college education if I didn't "do anything with it."  I never really aspired to be anything but a wife and mother, although I did enjoy teaching for the few years I worked. My youngest son has dyslexia and school was always a challenge for him, and I spent most of his childhood 'teaching' him anyway.

My dilemma is that with the advent of Facebook, I've reconnected with a lot of my former classmates. The women are all so accomplished and have had amazing careers. I'm a bit embarrassed by the fact that I had no career, so to speak. I was vice-president of our chapter of the National Honor Society and received several academic awards at our senior awards night. I had quite a bit of promise, which was never realized. I know I'm making too much of this and most of the folks attending will give the biographies not more than a passing glance, but I don't like feeling bad about the path I've chosen. 

ECM, I relate to this having gone to the Bx HS of Science where so many people in my class are either famous, billionaires, doctors, lawyers or otherwise extremely accomplished.  And here I am with my MS Ed in Counseling psych. that I never pursued a career in for a million reasons (I tried but had a bad experience with a horrible boss and then took a corporate temp. job and never went back). 

I actually went through this very thing myself when the class directory was being updated before my 45th reunion and boy did I feel like a failure putting down "Executive Assistant"!  I actually think SAHM is not as looked down upon by people in general as what many people consider a "glorified secretary" (If they only knew how not true THAT is depending on where you work and who you work for).  So I hear you, I felt the same way about filling out that stuff.  But then I realized that a respectable percentage of the women in my class became SAHMs or were otherwise "underemployed" considering the level of their education.  Maybe there are more of them in your class than you think?  In fact, among the women I know well in my HS class I doubt anyone would ever judge you for that, and I've never felt judged by anyone for what I did either.  In fact you never know, you might end up being envied for what you chose to do with your life. 

I think at that time (early to mid '70s) young women were starting to look at being a SAHM as a valid choice they celebrated as part of a woman's right to do whatever she wanted with her life.  I know several women from my graduating class that chose to do alternate things with their lives.  One joined a commune and still lives in the country with her husband composting and raising animals, LOL, and she was one of the BIGGEST brains out there that everyone thought would end up first woman president or a CEO of a company!  

So anyway I felt bad filling out my occupation too but after I thought about all of the above I felt much better.  And I felt even better realizing that none of the people I knew well in HS would ever make any negative judgments about me for what I did.  I have felt that way in some jobs and other situations but thankfully among my HS friends and acquaintances it was never a thing.  And these were arguably some of the people you might MOST expect it from!  If there were any others that might judge me, they weren't on my radar anyway so I wouldn't even know or care about it.  BTW, my 50th reunion will be in 2 years!  I hope this helps!

[kristen111]

All you retirees.  Mentally, I felt so much better when I worked.  I came home feeling like I accomplished something, so was happy to be home and relaxed.  Now, where’s to go everyday?  Store, Doctor, maybe see the kids once in awhile, etc.  Can’t go far as the traffic is horrendous no matter where you are going.  Since Covid, many are home doing virtual jobs.  Besides, it’s winter still, so no park or beach.  If it wasn’t for Primetimer or tv, I’d go bonkers.  My eyeballs are tired from reading all the time.  We used to go into the City, but now it’s dangerous.  Husband doesn’t want to drive too far either, like to Florida like we used to.  He doesn’t mind being home at all.  What do you all do daily?  Anything interesting?  Besides cooking, cleaning and reading.  Eye Dr. checkup tomorrow.  Whoopi.

[annzeepark914]

@kristen111 I was born kinda lazy so I'm happy to stay home.  I have a Thursday morning coffee group at the clubhouse...they're a hilarious group of women. Sometimes I'll go to lunch with one of them  (she should've been on TV...we crack each other up). Thank God I have cleaners every other week (they don't charge a lot so I provide the supplies and have the house "ready" for them).  I use back roads, side roads, state highways, anything but interstates and make appointments for late mornings and early afternoons to avoid rush hours.  I don't really want to travel much any more (planes) but short road trips are fine. My husband loves to travel so thank goodness he has our daughter, SIL & grandson to venture to far off places. 

[PRgal]

OMG, speaking of high school reunions, I just received an email from my alma mater about them "reevaluating" their year rep program and asked us whether we still wanted to continue our role as reps.  They included an attachment of responsibilities which sounded like being on a board.  There were meeting attendance requirements as well.  I replied by asking whether meetings virtual or in-person since it matters to me as a mom of a younger child.   I think the regular meetings, even if it's not YOUR YEAR is important, since being a rep isn't JUST about the big reunion, which, for us, happens every five years.  

[kristen111]

51 minutes ago, annzeepark914 said:

@kristen111 I was born kinda lazy so I'm happy to stay home.  I have a Thursday morning coffee group at the clubhouse...they're a hilarious group of women. Sometimes I'll go to lunch with one of them  (she should've been on TV...we crack each other up). Thank God I have cleaners every other week (they don't charge a lot so I provide the supplies and have the house "ready" for them).  I use back roads, side roads, state highways, anything but interstates and make appointments for late mornings and early afternoons to avoid rush hours.  I don't really want to travel much any more (planes) but short road trips are fine. My husband loves to travel so thank goodness he has our daughter, SIL & grandson to venture to far off places. 

Yeah, I did all that.  Lots of Canasta, Mahjong, reading group, get together with the girls for lunches, etc.  A few of my friends go on trips without their husbands.  I rather go with him.  The winter just gets very boring unfortunately.  I was always an outdoor person.  Oh well.  Guess lots of women don’t mind being in the house a lot. 🤷‍♂️

[ebk57]

6 hours ago, ECM1231 said:

Now, I've never regretted my decision to be a SAHM, although I'm sure my dad probably didn't appreciate his funding my college education if I didn't "do anything with it."  I never really aspired to be anything but a wife and mother, although I did enjoy teaching for the few years I worked. My youngest son has dyslexia and school was always a challenge for him, and I spent most of his childhood 'teaching' him anyway.

To me, this is the key paragraph - you don't regret your decision and you're enjoying your life.  I'm going to bet that a lot of the folks posting on FB would love to be able to say that.  And you can give them as much or as little info for the directory as you want.  That's what I do - give out an email and say I still live in the area and be done with it.  My 50th is next year and I do enjoy getting together with folks every five or so years.  Then not seeing them again for another five or so years.

 

@kristen111, I've been retired for a whole 3 days now and I'm really getting good at bonding with my couch!  We're off to NYC tomorrow for a long weekend, then I will be back to work harder at couch-bonding.  It's fabulous.

[kristen111]

7 hours ago, ECM1231 said:

My dilemma is that with the advent of Facebook, I've reconnected with a lot of my former classmates. The women are all so accomplished and have had amazing careers. I'm a bit embarrassed by the fact that I had no career, so to speak. I was vice-president of our chapter of the National Honor Society and received several academic awards at our senior awards night. I had quite a bit of promise, which was never realized. I know I'm making too much of this and most of the folks attending will give the biographies not more than a passing glance, but I don't like feeling bad about the path I've chosen. 

My Mother who worked full time with us three kids told me to stay home with my kids.  She never came up to school for us because she worked.  I felt terrible at the time.  I had no help with homework, etc.  She as always busy and tired. 

My oldest daughter got her degree at PSU, worked on Wall St., got married and was a SAHM for her 3 kids.  Now, in her fifties, she took the Civil Service test, got 100 on test, and now has her choice of a job in schools on Long Island.  I think she feels like she has to as all her friends work.  She feels the pressure as her youngest will start college next year.  Going back in her fifties?  She feels the pressure I think because all her friends have jobs.  I think women have too much pressure working with raising children.  Besides, lots of women have help from Grandparents I’ve noticed.  She is thinking of full time.  I think she’s nuts at this point.

[Yeah No]

5 hours ago, kristen111 said:

All you retirees.  Mentally, I felt so much better when I worked.  I came home feeling like I accomplished something, so was happy to be home and relaxed.  Now, where’s to go everyday?  Store, Doctor, maybe see the kids once in awhile, etc.  Can’t go far as the traffic is horrendous no matter where you are going.  Since Covid, many are home doing virtual jobs.  Besides, it’s winter still, so no park or beach.  If it wasn’t for Primetimer or tv, I’d go bonkers.  My eyeballs are tired from reading all the time.  We used to go into the City, but now it’s dangerous.  Husband doesn’t want to drive too far either, like to Florida like we used to.  He doesn’t mind being home at all.  What do you all do daily?  Anything interesting?  Besides cooking, cleaning and reading.  Eye Dr. checkup tomorrow.  Whoopi.

I hear you on all counts.  Plus this ridiculous weather doesn't help!  Does every single storm have to come right over us and last for days with soaking rain?  We have more precipitation now thanks to El Niño than dry days!  Tomorrow there's even a chance of SNOW up here, although thankfully just a dusting (or so they say).  It's going to be more like feet up further.

My husband wants to go meet his sister and her husband in the City in the near future but I'm on the fence on whether I'll go with him, although if he goes alone I'll worry anyway.  Unfortunately the stories I read and what he tells me after coming back from down there for work have made me trepidatious about going into Manhattan, especially if trains are involved.  I did last Summer and it was OK but it's gotten worse since then.

[kristen111]

15 hours ago, Yeah No said:

I hear you on all counts.  Plus this ridiculous weather doesn't help!  Does every single storm have to come right over us and last for days with soaking rain?  We have more precipitation now thanks to El Niño than dry days!  Tomorrow there's even a chance of SNOW up here, although thankfully just a dusting (or so they say).  It's going to be more like feet up further.

My husband wants to go meet his sister and her husband in the City in the near future but I'm on the fence on whether I'll go with him, although if he goes alone I'll worry anyway.  Unfortunately the stories I read and what he tells me after coming back from down there for work have made me trepidatious about going into Manhattan, especially if trains are involved.  I did last Summer and it was OK but it's gotten worse since then.

Yes .. we used to take the railroad and go to the museums, downtown, a restaurant, etc., but are reading of too many senseless Murders and trouble in the City.  Who needs that?  Plus Cops cannot control the immigrants anymore.  Prisoners in our own home.

[ECM1231]

I'd like to hear from our NYC residents if it's as bad as the news media portrays it. I'm a 50-minute train ride from Penn Station.  The last time I was in Manhattan, my niece drove her mom and me to the theater district to see Jersey Boys. This had to be at least 5 years ago. We parked in a parking garage and left immediately after, so I have no idea about mass transportation. 

The older I get, the more frightened I become, and I think it's because I realize my physical limitations now. I've always been uneasy taking the subway and getting too near the platform edge. Now, all we hear about is how the mentally disturbed are pushing folks off the platforms, left and right. 

We've got a wedding to attend at the NY Botanical Garden in July. I've yet to receive the invitation, so I'm not sure if the parents are providing any kind of bus. 10 years ago, my cousin rented a bus that left from her suburban home to take the Long Island guests into Manhattan where both the church ceremony and hotel reception were held. It was so nice to just drive 20 minutes to my cousin's house and board that bus.

I've never been to the Botanical Garden and am looking forward to the wedding, but not the getting there. No way are we taking the railroad as my husband has always preferred to drive whenever we've gone into Manhattan. 

[ebk57]

I'm in NYC now.  I take the subway everywhere.  Or the bus.  Tonight we'll be walking to dinner and Lincoln Center.  My thought is try not to let fear overtake your life and keep you locked in your house.  There's a lot to do out here.  If you're aware of your surroundings, you'll be fine. 

[ECM1231]

1 minute ago, ebk57 said:

I'm in NYC now.  I take the subway everywhere.  Or the bus.  Tonight we'll be walking to dinner and Lincoln Center.  My thought is try not to let fear overtake your life and keep you locked in your house.  There's a lot to do out here.  If you're aware of your surroundings, you'll be fine. 

Thank you for weighing in. 

[kristen111]

10 minutes ago, ECM1231 said:

I'd like to hear from our NYC residents if it's as bad as the news media portrays it. I'm a 50-minute train ride from Penn Station.  The last time I was in Manhattan, my niece drove her mom and me to the theater district to see Jersey Boys. This had to be at least 5 years ago. We parked in a parking garage and left immediately after, so I have no idea about mass transportation. 

The older I get, the more frightened I become, and I think it's because I realize my physical limitations now. I've always been uneasy taking the subway and getting too near the platform edge. Now, all we hear about is how the mentally disturbed are pushing folks off the platforms, left and right. 

We've got a wedding to attend at the NY Botanical Garden in July. I've yet to receive the invitation, so I'm not sure if the parents are providing any kind of bus. 10 years ago, my cousin rented a bus that left from her suburban home to take the Long Island guests into Manhattan where both the church ceremony and hotel reception were held. It was so nice to just drive 20 minutes to my cousin's house and board that bus.

I've never been to the Botanical Garden and am looking forward to the wedding, but not the getting there. No way are we taking the railroad as my husband has always preferred to drive whenever we've gone into Manhattan. 

We used to take the railroad into Penn at least once every two months.  Not anymore.  Drive in if you can.  We are in Suffolk.

[shapeshifter]

32 minutes ago, ebk57 said:

I'm in NYC now.  I take the subway everywhere.  Or the bus.  Tonight we'll be walking to dinner and Lincoln Center.  My thought is try not to let fear overtake your life and keep you locked in your house.  There's a lot to do out here.  If you're aware of your surroundings, you'll be fine. 

My 40-year-old daughter lives alone in Chinatown without a car. Mostly she walks everywhere, but she takes the train (subway) if necessary. She loves getting fresh fruit at the local bodegas.

[shapeshifter]

6 hours ago, ECM1231 said:

The older I get, the more frightened I become, and I think it's because I realize my physical limitations now.

Yes. As I turned into my condo complex in the rain/snow about an hour ago, someone on a motorized bike was pulled off to the side of the road. 
Here's where my imagination went: 
He/she needs help. Do I stop and offer? No, because they can see me pulling into my garage from where they're stalled. They can come ask for help while I get my groceries. ( I always leave the door up until I've retrieved everything, because I don't see well without daylight.)

But what if they try to rob me? 
If they approach, before they start to talk and can announce any ill intent towards me, I'll start blabbing non-stop:
Are you here to cause me harm or to rob me? Because I have to warn you:
45 years ago I escaped a serial rapist murderer by outrunning him.
But now I am old and weak and cannot run very fast or very far.
So if you attack me, I will have to kill you.
My survival instincts will kick in and I will kill you to protect myself. 
I was given a 20% chance of surviving stage 4 cancer, but that just kicked my extreme survival instincts into high gear. 
I've almost drowned more times than I can count. 
So, I have to warn you, if you frighten me, I will have to kill you. I won't have a choice. It will just happen. 

This imaginary talk went through my mind in the time it took me to pull into my garage. 
Then I brought my groceries upstairs, leaving the garage door open for a few minutes in the process.

I never saw the biker again. 
I hope they're okay.

____________

footnote:
I have no weapons which I have the strength to wield.

Edited April 5 by shapeshifter

[Anduin]

I follow a New Yorker on Bluesky. He thinks it's nothing like how it's often portrayed in the media. Anything bad has been blown far out of proportion. Living in Australia, I can relate. Don't fall for the negative hype. Take precautions, but go check for yourself and live your life.

[chitowngirl]

I would drive to the NY Botanical Garden if there is no wedding bus. July on the trains in wedding attire? To the Bronx? Nope.

[isalicat]

23 hours ago, kristen111 said:

All you retirees.  Mentally, I felt so much better when I worked.  I came home feeling like I accomplished something, so was happy to be home and relaxed.  Now, where’s to go everyday?  Store, Doctor, maybe see the kids once in awhile, etc.  Can’t go far as the traffic is horrendous no matter where you are going.  Since Covid, many are home doing virtual jobs.  Besides, it’s winter still, so no park or beach.  If it wasn’t for Primetimer or tv, I’d go bonkers.  My eyeballs are tired from reading all the time.  We used to go into the City, but now it’s dangerous.  Husband doesn’t want to drive too far either, like to Florida like we used to.  He doesn’t mind being home at all.  What do you all do daily?  Anything interesting?  Besides cooking, cleaning and reading.  Eye Dr. checkup tomorrow.  Whoopi.

If you are still reasonably mobile and in decent health, this is your time to "give back"! And it will be more fulfilling than you can imagine! Go volunteer at a local food bank/pantry (either to stock the shelves or fill bags), go volunteer to tutor local kids that can't afford private tutoring (contact your local elementary for more info), go to your local library and sign up to read to kids or help kids read or do homework after school, go to your local animal shelter and walk the dogs or hang out with the cats to keep them socialized, and definitely not least, go to your local care home and adopt someone who never gets any visitors and show up regularly to just hold their hand and listen...or read to them if they prefer...the opportunities are endless.

[kristen111]

We are not alarmists.  But, my husband has lots of relatives and friends who are Cops and Firemen in the Tri State area, so we hear of the goings on in the five boroughs.  We don’t go by the media .. just by what they see and say.  If  had to go in for an occasion, we would by car.  Otherwise, not necessary right now.  It’s not what it used to be.

 

[peacheslatour]

6 minutes ago, isalicat said:

If you are still reasonably mobile and in decent health, this is your time to "give back"! And it will be more fulfilling than you can imagine! Go volunteer at a local food bank/pantry (either to stock the shelves or fill bags), go volunteer to tutor local kids that can't afford private tutoring (contact your local elementary for more info), go to your local library and sign up to read to kids or help kids read or do homework after school, go to your local animal shelter and walk the dogs or hang out with the cats to keep them socialized, and definitely not least, go to your local care home and adopt someone who never gets any visitors and show up regularly to just hold their hand and listen...or read to them if they prefer...the opportunities are endless.

That's what I did after I retired but before my mobility issues got so bad.

[isalicat]

Just now, peacheslatour said:

That's what I did after I retired but before my mobility issues got so bad.

Yup, this is why I qualified my recommendations depending on one's health and well being. However! Once you can't get around easily there are still lots of things you can do - if you can get out at all, tutoring kids (or even adults that are learning English as a second language or learning to read, for instance) is still possible, or they can come to you if conducive. Once you get to the point where you can't get out or don't want people that you don't know coming in, you can still write letters to members of our armed forces serving abroad (you can Google this - it is tremendously appreciated) or send greeting cards of the season with a personal encouraging note to people living in care homes that don't get any mail. There are endless ways to be of service to others in this life and my aim is to do something each and every day until my last breath. 😸

[kristen111]

Just now, peacheslatour said:

That's what I did after I retired but before my mobility issues got so bad.

So did I .. many of those things.  Since my two spine surgeries, my mobility issues stop me from doing many things I enjoy, unfortunately.  Just getting out of bed in the morning is painful.