Chit-Chat: What's On Your Mind Today?

[annzeepark914]

6 minutes ago, ginger90 said:

I’m surprised by the angry choice. Using it can be interpreted different ways, and I’m sure it will be.

The angry emoji is very creepy. I feel it's directed *at* the poster. And the thanks emoji doesn't show appreciation. I like shapeshifter's suggested thanks. It's obvious, doesn't invite any confusion.

[stewedsquash]

The angry, thanks, and laugh one do not look like they came from the same place as the other emoji’s and it is visually off-putting  for me. Plus, we have the heart and now hearts on the thanks which to me reads love also. Especially with the puddle eyes. Heart is love. A puddle eye face holding several hearts means I love you SOOOOO much Imma cry!!

 

#pt/notyourbestemojichoice

Edited March 7 by stewedsquash
rated an asked for #, lol

[stewedsquash]

eta PLUS! The vote was for a grateful emoji not thanks. Yet the new grateful emoji says thanks beside it. While thanks and grateful overlap, they are not used the same, especially here on this site.

#mymanycentsforwhatthey’reworth

[annzeepark914]

30 minutes ago, stewedsquash said:

eta PLUS! The vote was for a grateful emoji not thanks. Yet the new grateful emoji says thanks beside it. While thanks and grateful overlap, they are not used the same, especially here on this site.

#mymanycentsforwhatthey’reworth

Amen & hallelujah, @stewedsquash I'd even be happy (grateful 😊) to revert to our original emojis. I appreciate PT and what they do to provide us with a nice, welcoming forum. I hope these few little quirks or whatevers can be fixed 🌸.

[JustHereForFood]

The angry reaction reminds me of my favorite "unamused" emoji: 😒. But I'm still wary to use it until it's clear that it's generally understood that the reaction is to the post and not to the poster. Sometimes it's clear, for example if the original poster says something like "Can you believe this person said that?" I'll see how others use it. 

The grateful reaction...... I'll stick to the heart, or write Thanks. 

[stewedsquash]

I am just going to skip what is here and just quote post this to thank a poster

 

Edited March 7 by stewedsquash

[shapeshifter]

I cannot imagine myself using the so-called "grateful" emoji. We shall see.
These should suffice:

•  "Like"
   
•  "Love" 
   
•  "Useful"
   
• "Applause"
   
•  "Fire" (to me means: Totally!)

But I am Totally Grateful and Love and Applaud the many Useful emojis we have here. I am so spoiled! On FB I keep looking for a wink emoji, and would love to have a "Useful" emoji there. 

[chitowngirl]

I do find myself using the Teddy bear when someone needs a hug.

[peacheslatour]

17 minutes ago, chitowngirl said:

I do find myself using the Teddy bear when someone needs a hug.

I like the "thank you" one too. I use fire for anger and the applause emoji for a hot post.

[annzeepark914]

Just looked at them again & the only one that bothers me is the angry one. We have a nice, calm group of folks here who communicate with each other in a kind, sane, helpful way (which is what Primetimer wants after all, right?) IMO, the angry emoji is out of place, might be used but then interpreted differently by posters, & generate hurt feelings. So, that's  my opinion & I'll pontificate no more 🙂

[peacheslatour]

2 minutes ago, annzeepark914 said:

Just looked at them again & the only one that bothers me is the angry one. We have a nice, calm group of folks here who communicate with each other in a kind, sane, helpful way (which is what Primetimer wants after all, right?) IMO, the angry emoji is out of place, might be used but then interpreted differently by posters, & generate hurt feelings. So, that's  my opinion & I'll pontificate no more 🙂

I think the "thanks" one looks like it has some terrible sinus disease.

[Ohiopirate02]

51 minutes ago, annzeepark914 said:

Just looked at them again & the only one that bothers me is the angry one. We have a nice, calm group of folks here who communicate with each other in a kind, sane, helpful way (which is what Primetimer wants after all, right?) IMO, the angry emoji is out of place, might be used but then interpreted differently by posters, & generate hurt feelings. So, that's  my opinion & I'll pontificate no more 🙂

Even if the emoji is interpreted correctly, the content of this post makes me angry, I fail to see how that adds to the conversation.  For me personally, I would hate to see it used on a post where I am stating facts.  Yes, some facts are infuriating, but how is that adding to the discussion, and what am I supposed to do with the knowledge that the facts I mentioned make you angry?  I feel the same way when I get the sad face emoji on one of my posts.  I don't want to feel burdened by someone else's emotions, I have enough of my own to deal with, thank you.  I'm sure this is a me thing.  I do wish the site would allow users to set up which emojis they want to receive.  

[Bastet]

I don't care to parse the degree to which I like a post, so I go with Like rather than Love, Fire, or Applause (also, it's the default, and I'm lazy) -- except, I hate the cluttered look of posts that have multiple reaction icons littering the bottom of them, so if all the reactions so far are Love, Fire, or Applause, I feel compelled to go ahead and slide my cursor on over to make mine the same to keep things tidy. 

I still find it odd they added an Angry reaction, but presumably it's like the Sad and Mind Blown in that they're still staying away from negatives when it comes to reputation points -- Sad and Mind Blown don't add one like the others do, but they don't subtract one, either.  (And reputation point totals don't determine anything here, anyway.)

[emma675]

All I see with the new angry emoji is yet another way for me to accidentally react wrong to a post again. Plus, it doesn't seem to fit in with the new site rules, imo.

[oliviabenson]

Mind blown to me means I’m surprised.

[Salacious Kitty]

10 hours ago, ginger90 said:

I’m surprised by the angry choice. Using it can be interpreted different ways, and I’m sure it will be.

I'm just going to ignore it. 

[Yeah No]

12 hours ago, annzeepark914 said:

The angry emoji is very creepy. I feel it's directed *at* the poster. And the thanks emoji doesn't show appreciation. I like shapeshifter's suggested thanks. It's obvious, doesn't invite any confusion.

I agree completely.  I don't like ambiguous emojis.  If what it means isn't completely obvious to most people it's only going to cause more misunderstandings if people attach unintended meanings to it.  Human communication is already compromised in writing because of the lack of the non-verbal element and we don't need emojis to further compromise it.  They're supposed to help make things clearer, not cause confusion.

[meep.meep]

I have resolved to avoid the conflict and just use the thumbs up.  Probably this will result in everyone else thinking I am incapable of emotion, or an old fuddy duddy.  Well, you're right!

[chitowngirl]

A 👍🏻 in solidarity!

[BlueSkies]

The angry emoji looks like somebody more constipated than angry to me 

[BetyBee]

I'm going to my late Mom's (passed in December) house to meet with my siblings and to see if there are any mementos any of us want before the rest gets donated or thrown out and the house goes on the market. It's not a house I grew up in, so I have no attachment to the actual house. It's sad though. Mom lived there for 40 years. 😢 

[annzeepark914]

12 minutes ago, BetyBee said:

I'm going to my late Mom's (passed in December) house to meet with my siblings and to see if there are any mementos any of us want before the rest gets donated or thrown out and the house goes on the market. It's not a house I grew up in, so I have no attachment to the actual house. It's sad though. Mom lived there for 40 years. 😢 

It's tough. After my mom died, & my sister & I received the items Mom had designated for us, I selected some things that meant something to me. They were kitchen items. A fork (from some Swedish set that's long gone) that she used to mash things. Every time I make Swedish meatballs, meatloaf, egg salad, I get this fork out & think of her (am giving it to my eldest niece some day). A small, hand-held mandolin for zesting/shredding (the cover it came in is falling apart but I still keep it safe inside). A very old nut chopper (it's easier/faster to use my mini-FP, but every once in a while I get the old chopper out, a memory from helping my mom chop nuts as a kid 🤗). So...find some things your mom used (in your childhood home and in her newer home), simple things you'll actually use. It's such a nice connection. Hang in there 🪷

[oliviabenson]

42 minutes ago, BetyBee said:

I'm going to my late Mom's (passed in December) house to meet with my siblings and to see if there are any mementos any of us want before the rest gets donated or thrown out and the house goes on the market. It's not a house I grew up in, so I have no attachment to the actual house. It's sad though. Mom lived there for 40 years. 😢 

Big hugs . Just hang in there. 

[Browncoat]

7 hours ago, BetyBee said:

I'm going to my late Mom's (passed in December) house to meet with my siblings and to see if there are any mementos any of us want before the rest gets donated or thrown out and the house goes on the market. It's not a house I grew up in, so I have no attachment to the actual house. It's sad though. Mom lived there for 40 years. 😢 

I'm doing the same thing with the house I grew up in.  There are some decent antiques in the house, though, so we'll donate some things, sell some things, and throw the rest out.  

What do you do with things like your mother's high school diploma?

[BlueSkies]

My thought for the day:

 

Talk is cheap 

[SoMuchTV]

50 minutes ago, Browncoat said:

What do you do with things like your mother's high school diploma?

Very good question!  Fortunately (though I’m not sure that’s the right word in this situation) one of the things my mother left behind was a trunk that had belonged to her mother. So now it’s filled with exactly that kind of thing. I guess one of my children will deal with it eventually. At least it’s all in one fairly compact space. 

[annzeepark914]

52 minutes ago, Browncoat said:

I'm doing the same thing with the house I grew up in.  There are some decent antiques in the house, though, so we'll donate some things, sell some things, and throw the rest out.  

What do you do with things like your mother's high school diploma?

This question made me stop & think...what did we do with Mom's yearbook. No idea. So, I have no suggestion for what to do with her diploma. These are things you can't take to a thrift store.  I'll be interested in what other folks here have done. It's really tough dealing with these possessions.

[Minivanessa]

I'm leaving instructions to my family that after I'm gone, they should destroy my diplomas and framed professional licenses. That stuff shouldn't be let out into the wild via donation - at least I don't want mine out there. I don't have kids or anyone who would want to have those things.

Edited March 10 by Jeeves

[Yeah No]

1 hour ago, annzeepark914 said:

This question made me stop & think...what did we do with Mom's yearbook. No idea. So, I have no suggestion for what to do with her diploma. These are things you can't take to a thrift store.  I'll be interested in what other folks here have done. It's really tough dealing with these possessions.

I put them all in clear plastic storage tubs marked "Mementos" with my parents' names on them and put them in a closet.  I take them down once or twice a year just to look at them.

When I was going through my parents' apartment in 2020 I found a suitcase full of my old baby shoes, rattles and clothes my mother made for me.  I put them in a plastic tub too.  These mementos bring me comfort and happiness recalling my parents' lives and my own.

I don't have kids or siblings so I'm going to offer this stuff to my 2nd cousins if they want any of it.  I think at least one of them will as she grew up without knowing my family because her parents got divorced when she was young and she longs for connections to the family's past.

[annzeepark914]

When am I going to learn that I can't read the stories on Yahoo and other sites about stray or rescued, abused animals? I get so teary-eyed. They all seem to have decent endings but it puts me through a ringer each time. 

[shapeshifter]

3 hours ago, Browncoat said:

What do you do with things like your mother's high school diploma?

If space is an issue, you can either scan them on a printer or take pictures with a phone and save them in a folder in the cloud. It's probably a good idea to save in at least 3 places and at least 2 mediums.

[Yeah No]

2 hours ago, shapeshifter said:

If space is an issue, you can either scan them on a printer or take pictures with a phone and save them in a folder in the cloud. It's probably a good idea to save in at least 3 places and at least 2 mediums.

Speaking of a space issue, I found a folder of my mom's artwork when I cleaned out the apartment.  They were sketches she did when she was young.  I had to make the heartbreaking decision to leave them behind because of space and I've never really gotten over that.  I know I made the right decision but it still hurt to have to do that.  There was only so much I could take with me back home because their apt. was 110 miles from me and space in our SUV was limited.  And they were too big to scan, unfortunately, unless I took them somewhere and paid for it. 

I did take photos of some of the things I left behind and why I didn't think to take photos of those sketches is beyond me, but by the time I found them I was exhausted and under a time crunch to finish.  Anyway, that's another solution - taking photos of the stuff you can't take with you.

[shapeshifter]

7 hours ago, Yeah No said:

I did take photos of some of the things I left behind and why I didn't think to take photos of those sketches is beyond me, but by the time I found them I was exhausted and under a time crunch to finish.  Anyway, that's another solution - taking photos of the stuff you can't take with you.

In those situations it's inevitable that things you wish you'd kept get left behind and the opposite. 

With artwork, longevity is often as much random as anything. I left behind some of my best work in the 1970s thinking I was returning. Who knows if it exists somewhere now?

And in a few generations will any of my work still be seen?

After a friend tirelessly cared for her sister with terminal cancer, she had to deal with the estate, including oil paintings by the late sister. A third, estranged sister, claimed she wanted the paintings. My friend has 2 adult children and in her grief and exhaustion wanted to keep the paintings for herself and them. Having recently dealt with my late own mother's artwork, and being an artist myself, I was able to tell my friend with confidence that she and her children would ultimately not want more than a very few pieces each. I don't know how this was resolved, but I do trust it was.

And only about 20 of Leonardo Da Vinci's works survive.

[Yeah No]

47 minutes ago, shapeshifter said:

In those situations it's inevitable that things you wish you'd kept get left behind and the opposite. 

With artwork, longevity is often as much random as anything. I left behind some of my best work in the 1970s thinking I was returning. Who knows if it exists somewhere now?

And in a few generations will any of my work still be seen?

That's too bad, sorry to hear that.  I still have all my artwork.  It would hurt if I had lost it somehow.  Maybe it's a good idea for us to take photos of what we have just in case.

I'm just happy I kept some of my mother's things.  I'm very happy I found all the excess granny squares she crocheted because I lost the Afghan she made for me in a move about 20 years ago right after she died.  It would look like the one on the TV show "Roseanne" or on Amy's couch in her apartment on "The Big Bang Theory".  I have enough squares to make a whole Afghan but I would need to find someone to do it because I don't sew, knit or crochet.  I did a little when I was young but that was a long time ago.  I looked on Etsy but most of what I saw involved people overseas and I'm not sure about the people I saw in the U.S.  I could post on a local chat board to find someone but even then I don't know if that's a good idea because I would like to see examples of their work so I know I'm choosing the right person.  If anyone here can give me advice on how to find someone, that would be great. 

[BetyBee]

17 hours ago, Browncoat said:

I'm doing the same thing with the house I grew up in.  There are some decent antiques in the house, though, so we'll donate some things, sell some things, and throw the rest out.  

What do you do with things like your mother's high school diploma?

My oldest sis kept those kinds of things in a bin (actually 2 bins!) marked "Archive". We couldn't quite let those things go and we might want to look at them from time to time. My hilarious younger sis joked that oldest sister's kids will be furious when she passes, because there will be so much cr*p to go through!

[oliviabenson]

I canceled internet. I’m switching to a different provider. Well 9 days later they automatically withdrew $ from my account. I called them and customer service was so unhelpful basically said I can’t give you a refund… so now i have no internet or the $ I paid for it. I canceled the debit card but it’s too late since they took my $. Now I know cancel service then cancel the card! 

[Browncoat]

25 minutes ago, BetyBee said:

My oldest sis kept those kinds of things in a bin (actually 2 bins!) marked "Archive". We couldn't quite let those things go and we might want to look at them from time to time. My hilarious younger sis joked that oldest sister's kids will be furious when she passes, because there will be so much cr*p to go through!

I suspect we'll end up doing something like that, but I know that after my siblings and I are gone, all of those things will go to the dump.  I don't have kids, and I can't imagine that my niblings will want any of it.

[Mindthinkr]

All of you are so fortunate. My brother systematically went through, took what he wanted and then let all of my parents stuff go to where I do not know. I miss having some of the things he tossed. Like her grapefruit knife. Years later he did surprise me by gifting me a bowl that his wife had relegated to the attic. Don’t be sad for me. I have memories and the few things I wanted most. I’m not a greedy person. I just would have like to have the opportunity and some choice. 

[shapeshifter]

10 minutes ago, oliviabenson said:

I canceled internet. I’m switching to a different provider. Well 9 days later they automatically withdrew $ from my account. I called them and customer service was so unhelpful basically said I can’t give you a refund… so now i have no internet or the $ I paid for it. I canceled the debit card but it’s too late since they took my $. Now I know cancel service then cancel the card! 

— which reminds me of why, given the option, I always put autopay on a credit card instead of a debit card. It's much easier to get your money back. 

Since a debit card is like cash, your only recourse is to sell a good sob story to customer support at the company who took your money (unless it's some kind of serious legal thing). As a retired person who was a single parent, I've had a lot of practice with that.

Some utility companies require a debit card.

I just checked my internet bill with Spectrum, and it is on a credit card, and it's also not on autopay.
I set up an email reminder every month instead of autopay because the intro rate was $5/mo. and it goes up.
It just went up to $27 — which is still a good deal— but it is supposed to go up to $57 in a year, and then to $85 in another year.
And it might go up sooner.

But I regularly get intro rate offers in the mail (currently for $30), so I will likely cancel my service in a year (and tether to my phone data for a bit if necessary) and then start over.
But I hope to move by then anyway, which should hopefully trigger a new intro plan.

[Bastet]

5 hours ago, BetyBee said:

My hilarious younger sis joked that oldest sister's kids will be furious when she passes, because there will be so much cr*p to go through!

Yeah, it's something to consider alongside our sentimental desires to keep things -- the burden we're placing on whoever is going to have to go through this stuff when we die.

I'm an only child and I have no kids.  My close friends are all child-free as well, so I have no honorary nieces and nephews who aren't cats.  If I die now, my parents get everything, but after they're gone I will have to decide what organizations I want my estate to go to, and whatever poor soul has to inventory is free to toss out everything that's meaningless to anyone but me (such as diplomas, as noted above). 

I took charge of cleaning out my grandpa's disaster of a house (he was an "I might use that for something" hoarder) after my parents took the relatively few things they wanted, and I kept a small percentage of what he had -- things I would use that have the bonus of giving me the pleasure of "This is my grandma/grandpa's X" when I use it.  I sold some things, but donated to charity/gave away directly to people (either friends or via Freecycle/Craigslist) a lot.  I also tossed a whole lot of stuff that could not be used or repurposed by anyone. 

In all that clearing out there is precisely one thing I tossed out in a fit of frustration that I wish I'd kept.  It was an old, metal, heavy as all get out as motors made things back then oscillating fan I could have replaced the cord on and been good to go (it would have been great in my garage, but there was another one in working order I kept, even though it wasn't as good), but I was in a mood.  Meanwhile everyone I know who filled their own garage/home/storage with bins worth of stuff they dragged home but never use regrets keeping so much.  Everyone is different, sure, and I don't advocate not saving anything, but I think people are generally apt to keep too much rather than get rid of too much.  And then it becomes our heirs' burden.  Lather, rinse, repeat.

Edited March 10 by Bastet

[Anela]

4 hours ago, oliviabenson said:

I canceled internet. I’m switching to a different provider. Well 9 days later they automatically withdrew $ from my account. I called them and customer service was so unhelpful basically said I can’t give you a refund… so now i have no internet or the $ I paid for it. I canceled the debit card but it’s too late since they took my $. Now I know cancel service then cancel the card! 

Can you report them to someone? they shouldn't be taking your money when you cancelled their service.

 

[annzeepark914]

1 hour ago, Bastet said:

In all that clearing out there is precisely one thing I tossed out in a fit of frustration that I wish I'd kept.  It was an old, metal, heavy as all get out as motors made things back then oscillating fan I could have replaced the cord on and been good to go (it would have been great in my garage, but there was another one in working order I kept, even though it wasn't as good), but I was in a mood.  Meanwhile everyone I know who filled their own garage/home/storage with bins worth of stuff they dragged home but never use regrets keeping so much.  Everyone is different, sure, and I don't advocate not saving anything, but I think people are generally apt to keep too much rather than get rid of too much.  And then it becomes our heirs' burden.  Lather, rinse, repeat.

Oscillating fans. Just the sound of that soft whirring brings me right back to my childhood summers in NYS. I grew up in an old Victorian-era house. No one I knew had central air. Thank God summers weren't bad back in the 50's & 60's...we didn't have the humidity that I've felt on trips home now.

[annzeepark914]

Is there a thread for the Oscars? I'm sort of watching (mostly with the mute on).

[Browncoat]

5 minutes ago, annzeepark914 said:

Is there a thread for the Oscars? I'm sort of watching (mostly with the mute on).

Yes.

https://forums.primetimer.com/forum/8214-the-academy-awards-aka-the-oscars/

 

[Yeah No]

7 hours ago, Bastet said:

I'm an only child and I have no kids.  My close friends are all child-free as well, so I have no honorary nieces and nephews who aren't cats.  If I die now, my parents get everything, but after they're gone I will have to decide what organizations I want my estate to go to, and whatever poor soul has to inventory is free to toss out everything that's meaningless to anyone but me (such as diplomas, as noted above). 

Same here, I'm an only child and child-free although I have one good friend with kids but I don't even know them.  I have no first cousins either and my parents are both gone.  I figure my husband can do what he wants with my stuff and his nephews can have whatever they want of it and family mementos and photos can go to my 2nd cousins if they want them.  I'm so used to either selling or giving my stuff to charity that I don't really care what happens to most of it.  As for any money and certain valuables, they would go to my husband first and then to my closest friends, all of whom could use it.

[annzeepark914]

Was that Jon Batiste singing "It Never Went Away", last night?  I didn't hear the introduction. He kept sliding off key (which for me is like fingernails on a blackboard 😬). Had to grab the mute!!

[BetyBee]

21 hours ago, oliviabenson said:

I canceled internet. I’m switching to a different provider. Well 9 days later they automatically withdrew $ from my account. I called them and customer service was so unhelpful basically said I can’t give you a refund… so now i have no internet or the $ I paid for it. I canceled the debit card but it’s too late since they took my $. Now I know cancel service then cancel the card! 

That has to be so frustrating! 

[zoomama]

hello everyone, this is my first post here in this forum. i too think about what my kids will have to go through when i am gone. i have started purging stuff now so it will be easier for them later on. that said, it is a big job!!!

[peacheslatour]

5 hours ago, zoomama said:

hello everyone, this is my first post here in this forum. i too think about what my kids will have to go through when i am gone. i have started purging stuff now so it will be easier for them later on. that said, it is a big job!!!

Welcome zoomama!

[Gramto6]

6 hours ago, zoomama said:

hello everyone, this is my first post here in this forum. i too think about what my kids will have to go through when i am gone. i have started purging stuff now so it will be easier for them later on. that said, it is a big job!!!

Welcome @zoomama!!