Chit-Chat: What's On Your Mind Today?

[Dimity]

29 minutes ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

And whose fault is that?  (A topic I should probably take to pet peeves.)

As it stands, wouldn't only pushy women be the ones asking me out, and it seems to me that's exactly the type who wouldn't take no for an answer. 

You posit a question but then you answer it yourself.  Which leads me to my question. Whose fault is it that we would think it is only pushy women who would do the asking? 

[StatisticalOutlier]

36 minutes ago, Dimity said:

You posit a question but then you answer it yourself.  Which leads me to my question. Whose fault is it that we would think it is only pushy women who would do the asking? 

Women's fault.  They need to normalize doing the asking by doing the asking.

[PRgal]

19 minutes ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

Women's fault.  They need to normalize doing the asking by doing the asking.

For neurotypical people, anyway.  

[Anela]

A friend is married to someone that she had to ask out.  He was interested, but didn’t think she would go out with him.  
 

[GHScorpiosRule]

I've only myself to blame, I know it. But I wanted an additional piercing for me ears so that I could wear the teeny tiny cute earrings/huggies I have. 

But I'd forgotten how sore the ears feel. And this latest one is near the cartilage, so I can't put my phone to me ear, or sleep on my side.

I'm applying the ear treatment thingie three to four times a day and rotating the earrings, but man, how much longer till the soreness goes away??????????

[shapeshifter]

10 minutes ago, GHScorpiosRule said:

I've only myself to blame, I know it. But I wanted an additional piercing for me ears so that I could wear the teeny tiny cute earrings/huggies I have. 

But I'd forgotten how sore the ears feel. And this latest one is near the cartilage, so I can't put my phone to me ear, or sleep on my side.

I'm applying the ear treatment thingie three to four times a day and rotating the earrings, but man, how much longer till the soreness goes away??????????

If you don't get an answer here, maybe ask in the Health forum?
https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/138201-health-and-wellness-chit-chat-your-primary-care-topic

Edited Monday at 10:49 PM by shapeshifter

[GHScorpiosRule]

9 minutes ago, shapeshifter said:

If you don't get an answer here, maybe ask in the Health forum?
https://forums.primetimer.com/topic/138201-health-and-wellness-chit-chat-your-primary-care-topic

I was just throwing a pity party! I think it will take a day or two until the soreness abates. 

[shapeshifter]

…or maybe a cartoon speech balloon appeared over their head with an arrow pointing down saying as much.
Maybe a melding of Google Glasses (remember those?) and AI.

Edited Tuesday at 02:14 AM by shapeshifter
typo

[GHScorpiosRule]

7 minutes ago, Browncoat said:

Snow day again tomorrow -- or perhaps I should say ice day.  The official ice accretion here was more than half an inch, and not much melting happened today.  And now the wind is picking up, and it's meant to be in the teens tonight, so they've closed work for tomorrow.  

I am so very behind!    There's no way I'll be ready for classes to start on Monday!  

I knew I shouldn’t have gotten excited! The previously forecast of up to an additional 10 inches overnight has now changed to “little accumulation to a barely two inches”!!!

I wanted the levels of 2009-2010 Snowmageddon, DAMMIT!🤬🤬🤬

[ebk57]

7 minutes ago, GHScorpiosRule said:

I knew I shouldn’t have gotten excited! The previously forecast of up to an additional 10 inches overnight has now changed to “little accumulation to a barely two inches”!!!

I wanted the levels of 2009-2010 Snowmageddon, DAMMIT!🤬🤬🤬

If only there was a way for it to snow more in your part of the county, but not in mine...  😉

Mr. ebk cleared a path in the driveway in case we need to go...somewhere.  And the street is plowed!  But hopefully, we won't have to leave the house for the rest of the week!!

[emma675]

2 hours ago, GHScorpiosRule said:

I've only myself to blame, I know it. But I wanted an additional piercing for me ears so that I could wear the teeny tiny cute earrings/huggies I have. 

But I'd forgotten how sore the ears feel. And this latest one is near the cartilage, so I can't put my phone to me ear, or sleep on my side.

I'm applying the ear treatment thingie three to four times a day and rotating the earrings, but man, how much longer till the soreness goes away??????????

I've been wanting to get another piercing, at the top of my right ear, but I forgot how long it takes to heal. I didn't even think about putting my phone up to my ear, dammit!

[JustHereForFood]

56 minutes ago, GHScorpiosRule said:

I knew I shouldn’t have gotten excited! The previously forecast of up to an additional 10 inches overnight has now changed to “little accumulation to a barely two inches”!!!

I wanted the levels of 2009-2010 Snowmageddon, DAMMIT!🤬🤬🤬

We had a bit of snow for like two days, then it rained on it and it's all gone now. I keep repeating myself, but I hate climate change!

[GHScorpiosRule]

1 hour ago, emma675 said:

I've been wanting to get another piercing, at the top of my right ear, but I forgot how long it takes to heal. I didn't even think about putting my phone up to my ear, dammit!

Yeah. I tried putting my phone to my ear, barely, and sharp pain! OUCH! But it’s only been two days.

[annzeepark914]

2 hours ago, ebk57 said:

If only there was a way for it to snow more in your part of the county, but not in mine...  😉

Mr. ebk cleared a path in the driveway in case we need to go...somewhere.  And the street is plowed!  But hopefully, we won't have to leave the house for the rest of the week!!

We got about 8". It's still snowing lightly so that will cover the ice...not good! I'm staying home tomorrow. So many offices are closed (e.g. medical) and schools won't open until Wednesday. The kids are getting an extra long holiday vacation. 

[shapeshifter]

13 minutes ago, annzeepark914 said:

We got about 8". It's still snowing lightly so that will cover the ice...not good! I'm staying home tomorrow. So many offices are closed (e.g. medical) and schools won't open until Wednesday. The kids are getting an extra long holiday vacation. 

8" seems so much to me since I moved to Rochester, NY.
The previous 20 years north of Chicago, that was just another Tuesday, LOL. 
One time I had to climb out of my window to go around and shovel out my door, heh.
I'm not sure I could physically do that now, but i'm sure I'd try. 

[annzeepark914]

40 minutes ago, shapeshifter said:

8" seems so much to me since I moved to Rochester, NY.
The previous 20 years north of Chicago, that was just another Tuesday, LOL. 
One time I had to climb out of my window to go around and shovel out my door, heh.
I'm not sure I could physically do that now, but i'm sure I'd try. 

When I was a kid in NYS, we always were shocked by winter photos in the paper of Buffalo, Rochester, and other places in way upstate/western NY. People climbed out of upstairs windows to get out as their doors were covered by snow. I thought you all just got 3' of snow (read that in some NY paper).

[Yeah No]

On 1/5/2025 at 6:59 PM, StatisticalOutlier said:

Women's fault.  They need to normalize doing the asking by doing the asking.

As a woman who wanted to be that woman once upon a time, it never worked out well for me. And who's fault was that? I'd say the men's, because most of them actually want to be the ones doing the asking and if they were really interested they would just ask you. Otherwise they aren't interested and asking them isn't going to get you anywhere.

I've had a long standing theory that men do just what they want to do. Women tend to be easier to be convinced, worn down, etc. into going out with a man. Men tend to like what they like and don't like what they don't like.

Of course there might be those cases where a woman would ask a man out at just the moment he realized he liked her, but that would be a rarer set of circumstances.

And then there was my husband, who liked me but didn't ever think I would like him back so he refrained from asking me. Then his best friend asked me on his behalf if I would be interested and I said I would have to think about it, and I did. He kept hanging around with my friends and grew on me. So my husband refrained for a couple of months until one day I just asked him out and of course he said, "yes"!

21 hours ago, Anela said:

A friend is married to someone that she had to ask out.  He was interested, but didn’t think she would go out with him.  
 

Yup, that was my husband!

[Yeah No]

On 1/5/2025 at 6:11 PM, Dimity said:

You posit a question but then you answer it yourself.  Which leads me to my question. Whose fault is it that we would think it is only pushy women who would do the asking? 

Traditionally women have made their intentions known in other ways to give the guy the heads up that she's interested should he want to ask her out. I was that woman too in my past. I found that approach worked much better than asking men out. Most men I've known like to think it's their idea, lol, and that approach lets them think it is. I hate thinking that some men need to be manipulated into dating a woman, but I guess that's the truth.

[Yeah No]

48 minutes ago, annzeepark914 said:

When I was a kid in NYS, we always were shocked by winter photos in the paper of Buffalo, Rochester, and other places in way upstate/western NY. People climbed out of upstairs windows to get out as their doors were covered by snow. I thought you all just got 3' of snow (read that in some NY paper).

When I was a kid in the 1960s and early '70s in NYC we had some wicked Winters. It would freeze by December and the snow would pile up in the streets and wouldn't start thawing until March. I remember making snow forts with my friends. They lasted for months! Of course that was before global warming.

I loved snow back then. Now I hate it. Snow brings hardship and expense now. It cancels plans and costs money in driveway plowing now that we're older and don't do it ourselves anymore (and we have a big driveway). And since I moved to this area of CT over 20 years ago I have grown to hate driving in bad weather too. My husband, a road warrior of a limo. driver with hundreds of thousands of miles under his belt in all kinds of weather now admits at 68 that he has grown to despise snow, especially driving in it. And that is SO out of character for him! 

[Annber03]

I would LOVE more snow here, myself. Our winters in recent years have generally been getting milder and drier and I hate it. I remember long, snowy, cold winters in Iowa as a kid, and now we're lucky if we get maybe a couple months' worth of snow at most. And even then, it's very sporadic and we might get, like, one big snowstorm, and that's it. The winter of 2022 to 2023 felt much more like the winters I remembered having as a kid, but they're becoming more rare. 

Plus, I hate having to hope that I'll get a white Christmas each year. It seemed like when I was a kid that was just a guarantee. Not anymore. 

So yeah, if others are tired of their snow, I'd be more than happy to take it off your hands. 

[Anduin]

Here in Oz, I've never had a white christmas, unless you count the white hot glare of the sun. But thankfully, this most recent one wasn't. For several days before, it was baking hot. The day before, it cooled off. The actual day, lovely!

[Anela]

I only have issues with the snow, because my dad has to drive in it almost every day.  We had more snow over the last two days, and it’s really cold, too.  It was 27 degrees, but feeling like ten degrees.  

7 hours ago, Yeah No said:

 

Yup, that was my husband!

That’s so sweet.  One of my best friends from high school, married a guy who was in their friend group, but she hadn’t thought about dating at all. 

this is one area where I’m in my head a lot, because I was too isolated, and still am. So, I don’t have a lot of stories here. 

[Yeah No]

7 hours ago, Annber03 said:

Plus, I hate having to hope that I'll get a white Christmas each year. It seemed like when I was a kid that was just a guarantee. Not anymore. 

So yeah, if others are tired of their snow, I'd be more than happy to take it off your hands. 

LOL, we haven't had that much snow in recent years due to global warming or I'd send you some. But to be honest a white Christmas was never a guarantee in NYC even when I was a kid. We just happened to have one this year in CT but it was only what the newscasters have started calling "mood snow", meaning it wasn't much, like only an inch or two, but it was just enough to make everything look white. Now that kind of snow I LOVE!

[GHScorpiosRule]

10 hours ago, annzeepark914 said:

We got about 8".

We got 7. Phooey. I really wanted the more heavy snowfall that would have given us up to a foot! But, 7 is better than "dusting" so I'm happy with that. Looks like I'll still be working from home this week because the roads are crap and I still have to dig the snow from my car, which I can't do, as I'm stuck in a depo all day today and tomorrow.

And yowzah, I've never woken up with a pounding tension headache, exacerbating my sore ears. I thought I'd have to suffer until tomorrow when my Migraine and Tension Headache Excedrin arrived, but I found some regular Advil, popped four, and within 15 minutes, headache gone, along with the soreness in my ears!

[ABay]

All the snow talk makes me feel like Charlie Brown. "I got a rock." I probably didn't have to dust off my car--the breeze on the way to work would've blown it all off. In the 25 years I've lived in CT we've had 2 good snowy winters--all the shoreline gets is rain, usually. But those years were fantastic. One year, campus closed for a week and by the time I had to go back in, all the side streets were like canyons of snow and my driveway was like a luge run. Snow was piled up against both my front and back doors so I took the storm window off one and used a swiffer mop to push enough snow away to open the door.

[GHScorpiosRule]

9 minutes ago, ABay said:

All the snow talk makes me feel like Charlie Brown. "I got a rock."

 

 

I'm sorry, I couldn't resist.😅

[StatisticalOutlier]

14 hours ago, Yeah No said:

As a woman who wanted to be that woman once upon a time, it never worked out well for me. And who's fault was that? I'd say the men's, because most of them actually want to be the ones doing the asking and if they were really interested they would just ask you. Otherwise they aren't interested and asking them isn't going to get you anywhere.

How many times did you ask a man out and he said "no"?

[GHScorpiosRule]

I'm a maroon. I can't believe I let myself suffer for two days, not realizing the soreness/pain in my ears could be alleviated with pain killer/muscle relaxant. After popping the Advil this morning, I've had NO PAIN. I refuse to believe that it decided to go away when I had a raging headache to go along with it this morning!

I should have (not of!) taken Advil or Tylenol the next day!

I just got back an hour ago after shoveling the snow from my car-it's FREEZING out there even with the bright sun! The snow is still powdery soft, so I couldn't even make snow balls for funsies! But I got my exercise, and the new snow/winter shoes that arrived on Sunday kept my feet toasty warm, but not my supposed winter mittens! My fingers were tingling something fierce-first stages of frost bite? Not that I know what that feels like, but I couldn't feel me fingers!

I had put on a snow hat-the one that has that topper that looks like a pom pom? along with the strings at the end that also have them? And no PAIN on my ears.

So, yes, in the woirds of one of my favorite guys (that would be the guy below), I'm a maroon!

 

Edited Tuesday at 08:54 PM by GHScorpiosRule

[Ancaster]

This morning on the radio there was a teaser for an upcoming news report: "Influencer-type illnesses on the rise".  All I could think was, "WTH?  I despise and avoid all influencers as much as humanly possible, and now they're making people ill?  With what?  Self-absorption?  Narcissism?  Living beyond their means-itis?"  Then the full story came on and I realized it was "influenza-type illnesses."

(In my defense, I'm British and we don't pronounce Rs at the ends of words.)

[Dimity]

I was reading an article about immigrants in Canada and how a certain percentage regret coming here and would move either back home or elsewhere if they could.  I get it.  They expected something here that they didn't find.  Fair enough.  But it made me think of my own great-grandparents.  When they emigrated to Canada it was certainly with the hope of a better life for themselves but the main reason they emigrated, so I've been told, was for better lives for their children.  Seems like times have changed.

[Yeah No]

20 hours ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

How many times did you ask a man out and he said "no"?

At least 5 times, although that was a long time ago now so there may have been more that I don't remember. I remember many of them because wow, did that ever hurt!

One guy told me he had decided not to date while in college to "focus on his studies". Yeah, right. 

One guy told me he wasn't ready to settle down yet and I looked like "the marrying kind". Well yeah, but not necessarily to him and not necessarily right THEN.

Another guy said, "yes" but then canceled on me and told me he was "getting back with his old girlfriend". Yeah, I knew people that knew him and that wasn't true.

One guy in HS declined but didn't give a reason. I met him at our 10 year reunion and he confessed that he really did like me but was "such a nerd back then" that he wasn't ready to date yet and didn't have the nerve. Huh, OK.

I was very attractive to men when I was young and there were a lot of guys like the one above that didn't have the nerve to approach me, which was always very frustrating for me. That's why I started asking them out. I know a lot of women would wish for having such problems but being so popular with guys never seemed to work in my favor. The ones that did approach me were very much not my type, not even close, or my type but very obviously "only looking for one thing". I suppose if that's all I wanted it might have been much easier, but I still can't wrap my mind around the phenomenon. My husband has theorized that some men have the nerve to ask out a woman they know is likely to say "no" and know it's a long shot but will take a crap shoot anyway. And he himself was one of the other group of men that didn't have the nerve to ask me out at all and I had to ask him!

[Ohiopirate02]

17 minutes ago, Dimity said:

I was reading an article about immigrants in Canada and how a certain percentage regret coming here and would move either back home or elsewhere if they could.  I get it.  They expected something here that they didn't find.  Fair enough.  But it made me think of my own great-grandparents.  When they emigrated to Canada it was certainly with the hope of a better life for themselves but the main reason they emigrated, so I've been told, was for better lives for their children.  Seems like times have changed.

Between Stalin and World War II, I cannot imagine any of my great-great-grandparents or great-grandparents regretting their decision to leave the Austria-Hungarian Empire**. Working in a coal mine in rural Pennsylvania may not have been a great life, but it was definitely better than living through either Nazi or Soviet occupation.

 

** None of my ancestors were Austrian or Hungarian though all of their official paperwork says otherwise.

[Ancaster]

10 minutes ago, Ohiopirate02 said:

Between Stalin and World War II, I cannot imagine any of my great-great-grandparents or great-grandparents regretting their decision to leave the Austria-Hungarian Empire**. Working in a coal mine in rural Pennsylvania may not have been a great life, but it was definitely better than living through either Nazi or Soviet occupation.

 

** None of my ancestors were Austrian or Hungarian though all of their official paperwork says otherwise.

According to original Ellis Island documentation, one of my ancestors was originally Australian.  Apparently language barriers and other factors (ignorance about world geography and current affairs?  An overwhelming number of people to process?) meant Austria and Australia became interchangeable.  🤣

[fastiller]

3 hours ago, Ancaster said:

This morning on the radio there was a teaser for an upcoming news report: "Influencer-type illnesses on the rise".  All I could think was, "WTH?  I despise and avoid all influencers as much as humanly possible, and now they're making people ill?  With what?  Self-absorption?  Narcissism?  Living beyond their means-itis?"  Then the full story came on and I realized it was "influenza-type illnesses."

(In my defense, I'm British and we don't pronounce Rs at the ends of words.)

In my head, I'm saying your screenname "Ancasta".  (And just a quick off-topic comment: I keep thinking of James Acaster when I see your screenname.) 

[Anduin]

2 hours ago, Ancaster said:

According to original Ellis Island documentation, one of my ancestors was originally Australian.  Apparently language barriers and other factors (ignorance about world geography and current affairs?  An overwhelming number of people to process?) meant Austria and Australia became interchangeable.  🤣

We have the best boy's choir, mate.

[shapeshifter]

3 hours ago, Yeah No said:

My husband has theorized that some men have the nerve to ask out a woman they know is likely to say "no"

This makes me think of the person upthread who was being pestered by repeatedly being asked out by someone she was ignoring (or something like that).

 

3 hours ago, Ohiopirate02 said:

Between Stalin and World War II, I cannot imagine any of my great-great-grandparents or great-grandparents regretting their decision to leave the Austria-Hungarian Empire**.

Likewise.

[Ancaster]

3 hours ago, fastiller said:

In my head, I'm saying your screenname "Ancasta".  (And just a quick off-topic comment: I keep thinking of James Acaster when I see your screenname.) 

Perfect (no "r" there either); and the only reason there's one in "there" in that part of this sentence is because it's followed by a vowel.  Oh boy.  No wonder non-native speakers find Americans easier to understand!

And I'm fine with being mistaken for James Acaster, even though he's male and spells his name wrong - he's funnier than me and a few decades younger.

Edited Wednesday at 10:05 PM by Ancaster

[supposebly]

7 hours ago, Dimity said:

When they emigrated to Canada it was certainly with the hope of a better life for themselves but the main reason they emigrated, so I've been told, was for better lives for their children.  Seems like times have changed.

A better life in Canada is not a given anymore. Hasn't been for a long time. Immigrants today, many are well-educated people who can't work because of some red tape or other. Never even mind, that education and work experience got them their permanent residency in the first place. I can't tell you how many people I know who have that problem. My former family doctor took years to retake all kinds of exams until he could work. 

[StatisticalOutlier]

7 hours ago, Yeah No said:

I was very attractive to men when I was young

Maybe that's why our experiences differ.  I'd say I'm cute, at best, and definitely not "very attractive to men."  I don't think any man has ever not had the nerve to approach me.

I remember being turned down once--a guy I met somewhere and cold called.  Maybe I got his number out of the phone book?  (We're talking late 1970s.)  Anyway, I called and he said "no" and I was embarrassed but no more embarrassed than the millions of men who have asked a girl/woman out and been turned down.  (That seems uniquely unfair to me.)

But I had extreme success on other occasions.  I called a guy I met at a "meet the new lawyers in town" party, and we had a 1-1/2 year relationship (and I was definitely punching above my weight on that one--he was by far the most eligible bachelor in town). 

Another time I met a guy at a party at a mutual friend's house.  I asked the mutual friend if this guy was taken, and he said no, and gave me his number and I called him up a few days later.  Again punching above my weight, but he was delighted that I'd called, and that one lasted for a few months.

And then there's the guy I who worked in the adjacent cubicle.  We'd become friends over two years, going to movies and things like that.  Then one day I realized I liked him more than as a friend, so I went to his house one day to tell him.  It was nerve-wracking, and he said he'd have to think about it!  (So it definitely wasn't a case of my approaching at a time he would have approached me anyway.)  We ended up being together for almost five years.

And I approached Mr. Outlier online on matchmaker.com.  He'd seen my profile but moved right on by.  This was in 1998, so no mutual swiping--you had to basically cold-email someone you were interested in.  I did, and here we are 25 years later.  If I hadn't taken the initiative, he would not have the honor of being Mr. Outlier.

But mainly, every man I've ever discussed this with has said he would love to be asked out by a woman, and I don't think it was so he could turn her down.  

 

[JustHereForFood]

8 hours ago, Ancaster said:

According to original Ellis Island documentation, one of my ancestors was originally Australian.  Apparently language barriers and other factors (ignorance about world geography and current affairs?  An overwhelming number of people to process?) meant Austria and Australia became interchangeable.  🤣

Well, these are still popular souvenirs in Austria:

[Yeah No]

4 hours ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

Maybe that's why our experiences differ.  I'd say I'm cute, at best, and definitely not "very attractive to men."  I don't think any man has ever not had the nerve to approach me.

I have actually read, (and don't quote me on this because I forget where) that moderately attractive women get asked out more because the average man sees them as more attainable. My husband seems to agree with this based on his own experience and observations.

4 hours ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

But mainly, every man I've ever discussed this with has said he would love to be asked out by a woman, and I don't think it was so he could turn her down.  

Maybe my experiences account for why I have thought a lot about this, but also because of my bent toward understanding people's motivations. My theory is that while men will say that it's a fantasy based on the "right" woman doing the asking. In actuality if it somehow threatens them in one way or another or they feel inadequate to the person doing the asking they will say "no". 

I admit I did have a complex about it for a while. Also, I was never in the right place at the right time. I didn't live in the right place, travel in the right circles, engage in the right activities. I was always doing things women liked to do and there were not a whole lot of men in those places. I studied Counseling Psychology in grad. school. There were only a handful of men and yikes, no offense but they were just not my cup of tea. And I wasn't even the right religion either. I grew up around a lot of Jews and Roman Catholics - I am 1/4 Jewish by ancestry but raised an Episcopalian. I was never Jewish enough nor was I a Catholic. And I know for a fact that some men kept me at an arm's length because I wasn't the right religion for them. Even my HS sweetheart who although we broke up mutually and remained friends once confessed to me in a PM years later that he really wanted to marry a Jewish girl to please his mother even though he really loved ME. Now WTH was I supposed to do with THAT? Let's just say I haven't communicated with him since then and that was years ago now.  

There was a brief time I went to neighborhood pubs with my girlfriends, mostly to socialize with them but hoping maybe to meet someone. Not on your life. Was never approached, not even once, even after starting up conversations with men. I even joined a bowling league with these women hoping to meet someone. I did meet one guy who was very suitable in all the external ways, but he and I were so unsuited for each other temperamentally that after one date we mutually agreed it was a no-go. Oh well. And none of his friends were available so forget that.

[Yeah No]

9 hours ago, shapeshifter said:

This makes me think of the person upthread who was being pestered by repeatedly being asked out by someone she was ignoring (or something like that).

Yeah, I had that happen an awful lot. Guys that wouldn't take the hint and kept hoping they'd wear me down. And often they were socially awkward and creepy. I even had that all though my life. Even at work after I was married and in spite of all that sexual harassment training! I even had a boss do that to me. I think I've written about it on the board. He kept after me until I complained to HR. This was in the late '90s when sexual harassment awareness was kind of new. HR quickly reassigned me and he HATED me after that because I'm sure they talked to him about it. But thankfully I was away from him. An IT dept. director, but creepy.

I became friendly with one guy through the mailing list for the INFJ type that I belonged to and (and later the one I ran) who was like that. I organized group events in our area so I saw him a few times a year. I kept telling him I was married and we could only be friends but "hope springs eternal" I guess. Eventually he got tired of waiting and just ghosted me one day. It hurt because I thought he was OK with being my friend but I guess he couldn't handle it. That was over 20 years ago now.

[Blergh]

I hope everyone's okay ! In my Southeast neck of the woods  , we're due to have a thick coat of the flaky s-word .Funny how each flake is beautiful but put a zillion together and it's a mess!

Well,I did my food shopping yesterday instead of Friday (when it's due to hit)and the store was packed with panic shoppers with so many shelves already sparse and empty. I don't envy anyone trying the stores today or tomorrow .I just hope I can get home safely from work tomorrow evening going by Interstate instead of my usual hilly shortcuts through neighborhoods without too much delay or problems. Take care everyone in the path of this system(and I'm praying everyone in California will be OK with their homes intact despite those horrific conflagrations).

[Cloud9Shopper]

17 hours ago, Yeah No said:

Yeah, I had that happen an awful lot. Guys that wouldn't take the hint and kept hoping they'd wear me down. And often they were socially awkward and creepy. I even had that all though my life. Even at work after I was married and in spite of all that sexual harassment training! I even had a boss do that to me. I think I've written about it on the board. He kept after me until I complained to HR. This was in the late '90s when sexual harassment awareness was kind of new. HR quickly reassigned me and he HATED me after that because I'm sure they talked to him about it. But thankfully I was away from him. An IT dept. director, but creepy.

I became friendly with one guy through the mailing list for the INFJ type that I belonged to and (and later the one I ran) who was like that. I organized group events in our area so I saw him a few times a year. I kept telling him I was married and we could only be friends but "hope springs eternal" I guess. Eventually he got tired of waiting and just ghosted me one day. It hurt because I thought he was OK with being my friend but I guess he couldn't handle it. That was over 20 years ago now.

The guy who I just turned down and a guy I went out with several years ago were definitely a bit off. The first guy, maybe from 2017 or 2018, was not far off a broken engagement (and oddly enough the guy I just rejected also just got out of a relationship within the last three months), and it was kinda obvious he wasn’t over it and just was in a hurry to date again. He recounted one of his arguments with his ex with me while we were out to lunch and he wanted to come here from New Jersey (we were online friends first) to hang out and was already telling me all the things he wanted to do with me when the first date wasn’t even over yet. They weren’t creepy things or anything, just future date ideas, but I felt sort of weirded out by the whole day and wanted him to go home and never come back by the end of it. (And of course, naturally my mother shit on me for feeling uncomfortable because she thought I owed him more of a chance.) It felt like he would’ve benefitted from being single for a while and getting over whatever happened with his ex fiancée before jumping back into dating. I mean, this was several years ago, so it’s whatever and a weird memory these days, but yeah not good vibes at all back then.

It’s kinda the same with this guy. Our church organized a cruise last year and I ended up not going (I never paid anything toward it; I just wasn’t making as much money last year since the job I got promoted to wasn’t even on the table at the time), and he asked me to go on the cruise because he was in a fight with his girlfriend and he hinted that maybe she would end up not going. He also offered to pay for a vacation for me. Which is super weird and kind of a red flag for someone I don’t consider myself close to. It would be different if a long-term romantic partner or a family member offered to foot the bill but it’s a big gesture from someone I only ever see at church. And a sign that he would maybe be a love bomber and doesn’t care who he’s with; as long as he has a girlfriend.

For the record, I have a cruise booked for this year. He is not coming anywhere near it and I plan on paying for it myself. (It’s a solo cruise.)  

Edited Yest. at 12:06 AM by Cloud9Shopper

[Mindthinkr]

12 hours ago, Cloud9Shopper said:

For the record, I have a cruise booked for this year. He is not coming anywhere near it and I plan on paying for it myself. (It’s a solo cruise.)  

You do you. That way you don’t owe anybody anything and have the liberty to do whatever makes you happy. You are worth it. 

Edited Yest. at 12:31 PM by Mindthinkr
Forgot a word.

[BooksRule]

I hope everyone who got snow is doing well. I'm in the deep south, and all we're getting out of this is some rain.  We really don't need it right now, so I wish I could send it to Los Angeles. I took the day off so I could spend a three day weekend trying to make a dent in the my overgrown mess of a backyard, but the rain put a stop to those plans. So, I just put a small roast in the slow cooker for a pot roast dinner (with rice and gravy) and plan to just do a few chores around the house and watch some TV (I have several episodes of 'Dragnet' and 'Adam-12' recorded from yesterday and early this morning to watch along with other stuff). It will probably still be too wet to rake leaves or pull weeds tomorrow or Sunday (depending on if the sun comes out),so I might make the rounds of the local thrift stores tomorrow to see if I can find anything interesting. It's been a while since I've done that. 

[Mountainair]

Survivors Guilt is such a real thing. I live in Asheville, NC where we were hit hard by Helene. My husband’s job was completely flattened and he was without work for quite a while, schools were closed and I’m a teacher. Our water still isn’t “safe” to drink and many people are living in hot tents. However, I moved here almost 18 years ago because I wanted four seasons and snow! I’m laying in bed watching TV and the snow out of my windows and it’s beautiful but I feel guilty for enjoying it. My heart goes out to California but also my own community where my co workers are living in FEMA paid for hotels, limited resources and now 13 degree weather without a roof over their heads and I was lucky enough to not lose my home (just a lost income) .

[Blergh]

The good news is that the big boss decided to let our department just wrap up the current projects we were working on so we could head home an hour earlier than usual to take advantage of the main roads being wet in daylight rather than having us contend with driving at night with things freezing so I left early. Mama had earlier tried to plea with me to shelter in my workplace because she believed the roads would have been too risky for me to have driven home. I didn't want to leave her home alone over the weekend (with no one to help her out since she's in her 90's) so I resisted. Anyway, instead of my usual shortcuts, I opted to use the Interstates and,for the most part, they were wet and OK to drive on. However, there were parts that were overpasses that were frozen and I was careful to go slowly the entire way home (and thankfully most of the other drivers avoided speeding). All was well until time to turn into the hilly grid of side streets in my neighborhood I had to traverse which were blanketed with the s-word but I drove in what ruts I could to hug the road. I nearly got stuck,though, backing downhill into my driveway (and frustratingly my rear view camera's lens had frozen H2O distort the picture so I had to totally rely on my 20th century driving skills of solely looking at rear view and side view mirrors to see). However, I made it but I was surprised at how thick the yards, trees and streets in my suburban neighborhood are coated with it whereas in my downtown locale workplace, there was barely any  on the pavement or ground (thankfully we have a covered,heated garage ).  The important thing is that I made it safely home and will be cocooned here until Monday (unless somehow things melt on Sunday). . at which time I'll have to contend with seeing about inching my way up my driveway then down a very steep hill [used by sledders] to reach the nearest main street that I could then use to reach the Interstates).

I'm sorry to heat that so many folks in Asheville are still in limbo after all this time and I hope that housing and jobs will soon become more available (and the same goes for so many in California at this time).

 

[Browncoat]

The snow was just starting, and sticking to the roads immediately, when I came home from work yesterday.  Fortunately, we didn't get too much, only 2-3 inches, and it's light and fluffy, so it'll be easy to clear from the car.  And the snow hump left by the plows isn't too bad, either.  Our best news is that it's meant to be almost up to freezing today (30F!), and then in the 40s tomorrow and Monday.  Hopefully that will get rid of the ice left over from last weekend that is still under the new snow.  

[shapeshifter]

It finally got up to 28ºF here yesterday when I ventured out for an appointment and stopped at Wegmans. I bought some frozen veggies and fruit since it's going to be below freezing for most of the next month or so. I will get out, but it's nice to not be tempted to live on cocoa and toast. 

Meanwhile in LA:
https://parade.com/tv/tv-shows-stop-production-due-california-fires
This will likely have severe financial impacts on the lives of all of those who do gig work to support the TV and Movie industry.