S01.E04: Episode 4

[Tara Ariano]

A bachelor goes it alone on a date for a day of rappelling and swimming. Meanwhile, a bachelorette regrets her decision to go out with a newcomer; and a bachelor is in danger of going home when another moves in on his territory.

[ZackKfan21]

Any other Zack K fans out there? I actually saw that people are selling autographed baseballs on ebay from his time in the minor leagues?! Thinking about buying one as a gag gift for one of my best friends. He seems like a good guy!

[CindyBee]

Wow the preview for tonight's episode that is going around with AshLee trashing Clare to Zack is pretty amazing in just how unaware she is on how badly this is all going to look.   So I guess Zack spills and that's what sets off Clare.  Should be good!

Edited August 25, 2014 by CindyBee

[Roaster]

ABC is scheduled to show BiP both today (Monday) and tomorrow (Tuesday, Aug 26).

 

That's four hours of paradise in one week!  Don't know if I can handle it.

[Dirtybubble]

I'm actually looking forward to tonight's episode and Tuesdays.  The BIP ex. where clever enough to air this show before any popular shows came back in the fall such as Once Upon A Time.  BIP is a good way to kill a few hours and God knows I would rather watch this than the Emmys--millionaires giving other millionaires gold trophies, no thanks.  I would rather watch desperation and craziness.

[backformore]

I'm actually looking forward to tonight's episode and Tuesdays.

 

Yeah, me too.   And I'm actually ashamed of looking forward to what I acknowledge as junk TV.  I'm just strangely addicted to it.  

Maybe I'll go to the gym, and watch while I'm exercising, and that will negate  the shame.  

[jumper sage]

I love this show!  It is so craptastic.

[Armchair Critic]

Better drink up Michelle to drown your sorrows, I won't tell Marquel. ;) Yeah, they didn't pick you because of your daughter, keep telling yourself that.

Edited August 26, 2014 by Armchair Critic

[Roaster]

Is Michelle getting paid by the producers to do the other girls' hair?  I thought she did it cause she was just nice and good with hair, but she's saying how doing Sarah's hair is like a dagger to her heart, etc....If it's so uncomfortable, don't do it.

[Armchair Critic]

You go Claire, rocking the bikini. I hate to say it but Kody is more like a booby prize, hope he ends up with Michelle. I don't feel sorry for Michelle because if she had made an effort with Marquel she wouldn't be alone.

[bosawks]

If eggs are to basket that synapses are to brain function they're both screwed.

[Armchair Critic]

Marcus's date - zzzzzz.... time to flip over to the Emmys

 

Michelle will probably end up gaga over Kalon ("motorboat"),

Edited August 26, 2014 by Armchair Critic

[wovenloaf]

Kody kind of seems like a pumped-up chihuahua, but at least he's got some personality! Which is more than I can say for most these people...Zack seems nice enough but he just kind of has a bland, dumb look all the time. I wish Clare had just gone for Kody.

 

Why are Jackie's boobs so awkwardly far apart?

[leighdear]

Kalon may be a douchenozzle, but he is fricken' hilarious!

 

Cody is such a sweetheart. 

[Roaster]

Kalon should have taken one of the other guys on the speelunking trip.  That cave looked really cool.  Who would say no?

[Stella MD]

Sarah was openly making fun of Kalon, right? ("what's 'SPER-lunking'?")  If so, I totally love her. On the other hand if she was genuinely asking what spelunking is, that's considerably less awesome. One can never really tell with these hamsters.

 

Gee, Michelle, I can't possibly imagine what's turning all the guys off - maybe the heavy-handed Eau de Desperation that you've been soaking yourself in? And I can't help but notice the irony that she's so offended by what Kalon said, but basically said the same thing in her own talking head - ie that her daughter is preventing her from dating. How nice when the kid watches this some day and learns that her mother thinks she is responsible for spoiling her chances at happiness.

[Shugardrawers]

Can Kalon open his mouth without being a complete douchebag?  So far he's all sexual references and full of himself.  Less impressed than I was even before and I didn't think that was possible!

[Armchair Critic]

WTF AshLee, you have the nerve to call Claire cuckoo and act as if she is not sexually attractive. grrrrrrrrrr. The best part is she thinks she is off camera.

 

Popping the popcorn because AshLee vs Clare is going to be good.....

Edited August 26, 2014 by Armchair Critic

[FlyingEgret]

I love that Ashlee thinks that a camera is light. Definitely not the brightest bulb...

[bosawks]

I love that Ashlee thinks that a camera is light. Definitely not the brightest bulb...

To be fair the camera is probably her sun which she orbits around.

[Armchair Critic]

Zack is the type of man who drives me crazy, they love to hear the gossip (and don't stick up for you), but then blame the drama on the women.

[BubblingKettle]

Very cringeworthy scene:  Michelle is feeling exceptionally bad for herself because she hasn't latched on to a guy yet.  Sarah then gets asked on a date by one of the guys (can't remember his name).  Michelle's voiceover says, "I'm the only girl here without a guy on her arm."  The camera then pans over to Sarah and her date walking away.  Sarah, with ONE ARM.  

 

Maybe it's me, but I think the troll-y show editors did that on purpose.  I mean, these are the same geniuses behind the raccoon convo.

[leighdear]

AshLee is such a hypocrite, and incredibly two-faced.  She works on her character?  Isn't the saying "Character is who you are when there's nobody around", or something to that effect?  How about when the camera isn't turned on, AshLee?

 

I loved Clare's response to AshLee wanting to hug it out. "I'm good, thanks".  *ROFL*

 

What's most disturbing to me is that I still make a concerted effort to spell her name correctly.  Probably because I have character. 

Edited August 26, 2014 by leighdear

[Armchair Critic]

LOL at Graham ordering a drink after hearing about Ashlee's drama, you could see him girding himself for the worst.

 

To be continued, show you suck because now I have to watch tomorrow too.

Edited August 26, 2014 by Armchair Critic

[FlyingEgret]

Noooooooooo -- how can they leave us hanging like that???

And also, how can they have such good acoustics in that cave?

[bosawks]

You gotta love a case of the bachelor induced flop sweats.

Graham just looked like he was trying to get a head start.

[Armchair Critic]

What's most disturbing to me is that I still make a concerted effort to spell her name correctly

 

I know, especially since I have to override the auto-correct in order to capitalize the L in AshLee.

[JenE4]

Please, please, please tell me that tomorrow we're going to get two hours' worth--every dramatic moment--of Graham leaving and AshLee losing her shit because of her abandonment issues and running off into the jungle. I mean, not that I wish a nervous breakdown on anyone, but if it's happening anyway...and you know those cameras are everywhere!

Kalon's date with himself cracked me up to no end. I think Kalon + Kalon will be the most successful couple to come out of this show.

Edited August 26, 2014 by JenE4

[FlyingEgret]

You gotta love a case of the bachelor induced flop sweats.

Graham just looked like he was trying to get a head start.

Seriously, if it wasn't a one-star resort, I don't think Graham would care if Ashlee told Zack that Clare had slept with the Putz in the ocean as well

[JudyObscure]

I hate Zach.   After he told Clare that he didn't know if he would turn down a date card because, "It depends on the girl,"  I really expected her to walk away from him and never look back.  Go toward the Cody, Clare!  Zach doesn't have your back, he's only there until something better comes along and he doesn't have time to listen to your problems even when there's no ESPN.  Run. Away.

 

AshLee is tacky and  creepy. Clare let her keep Graham and all AshLee has done in return is trash talk her. 

 

Kalon makes me laugh, slime ball though he is. He's like a David Spade character.

[leighdear]

 

He's like a David Spade character

Perfect comparison.  Maybe David will play him in the Lifetime TV movie. 

[Armchair Critic]

Kalon makes me laugh, slime ball though he is. He's like a David Spade character.

 

Since I am a Wrong Reasons viewer, I enjoy the snark the douchebags bring. I still laugh when I think about when Chris Bukowski was on Bachelor Pad and he said he was kissing Jamie just so he didn't have to hear her talk.

[CindyBee]

LOL at Graham ordering a drink after hearing about Ashlee's drama, you could see him girding himself for the worst.

 

 

 

That was the best part, Graham making sure he had a stiff drink before hearing about the AshLee drama.  

 

I know Michelle went to Cody by default but hey if you have to be with someone might as well be with a guy who looks good without his shirt on!

[Roaster]

One thing about AshLee is she's the most classically beautiful woman on the show.  I don't mean the one I personally find the most attractive - that would probably be Claire - but AshLee has what many consider the Platonic ideal of womanly beauty - the cheekbones, the hair, the legs.

 

I''m sure she would be able to find some superficial rich guy to take her as a trophy wife.  I don't wish that for her (or for anyone), but if she's just looking for a husband, women like AshLee can usually get a guy.

 

(Getting the right guy/girl is another matter, and that's a problem we all face,)

[Dittohead]

How does one sleep with someone in the ocean, anyway?

 

I really couldn't stand Cody when he was on Andi's season, but I have to admit he's starting to grow on me now.  He seems like the kind of guy who would be a lot of fun just to hang out with, whether in a romantic or just platonic setting.

 

Kalon needs professional help.

[betha]

Oh, Jackie. How naive.... She fell for every last bit of Jesse's crap.

"It is so nice to hear that he really is here for me."

"Jackie's my one shot at a rose so I can go mack on all the other girls for another two weeks."

I wish they had interviewed Jackie about her date with Marquel. Was she just not feeling it? Did he let it fizzle? Why didn't he go talk to her before the rose ceremony?

So many questions!!

Please a Clare Crowley bachelorette season.

[aenea]

Between Kalon and all of the middle school hissy fits this was by far my favourite episode.  Is last night the last episode, or is there another one next week? 

 

Loved Kalon- I mean I hated him and wouldn't want to spend any time with him, but he was incredibly entertaining.  The only disappointment for me was when he was doing the back and forth in the cave with himself (kudos to the editors for keeping that), and he didn't check to make sure that he was there for the right reasons.

 

Michelle M was just silly this week.  "I haven't formed a connection yet".  Hey sweetheart- don't you remember when you felt a 'connection' with Marquel, and a day later with Robert?  Maybe the problem isn't being able to form a connection, but not just hooking up with any random man with a rose that walks by.  I did feel for her during the massage though- it sounds like she does have an incredibly busy life away from the Bachelor Family, and couple what seems to have been a long dry spell with a massage by someone who knows how to do it, I'd probably be panting too. 

Edited August 26, 2014 by aenea

[Armchair Critic]

I agree that AshLee is beautiful. That's what makes it hard to understand, especially when Emily was the Bachelorette. Women who look like they do would not have problems finding a man. I would think you would find a better quality man outside of a tv show. The exception is JP from Ashley's season.

[leighdear]

Agree about Cody.  He seemed like a bit of a lunkhead at the beginning of The Bachelorette, but he really grew on me.

 

Reality Steve said that Cody was the ONLY contestant that he never heard a single negative thing about.

[leighdear]

I still think AshLee looks like a low-rent Gisele Bundchen. 

[kelnoelle]

That was the best part, Graham making sure he had a stiff drink before hearing about the AshLee drama.  

 

I know Michelle went to Cody by default but hey if you have to be with someone might as well be with a guy who looks good without his shirt on!

And the best part to me is that he sternly orders the drink in the moment. But then doesn't abandon his good manners and adds "Sir"

[leighdear]

I though Cody & Michelle looked really sweet together.  And they sure did cozy up fast. 

[Rhondinella]

I was watching the Emmys.  Hope I didn't miss anything earth-shattering.  Like someone actually acting human.

[backformore]

Funny how Michelle and Graham had that private conversation in the bathroom, away from everyone else.

Everyone but the camera guy.

Even funnier how Clare turned things around on Zach - if a girl asked you on a date, would you consider it ? Oh you would? You're willing to let me go with another guy? You're wishy-washy enough to let me date someone else? Well, then I'm going to be strong enough to date someone else. Because if I do it, it a sign of strength. If you do it, you're weak.

Edited August 26, 2014 by backformore

[MrsDixon2U]

Oh Kalon, you are a douchenozzle for sure but that was a highly entertaining one on one date. Was it an overnight? How ever did you amuse yourself??????

 

AshLee this isn't your first rodeo, You are on a televison show, you are wearing a mic pack, even in the bizarro world that you inhabit, how did you think there were no cameras around to document your petty, completely unnecessary commentary on Claire's alleged sexual exploits. I don't recall Zach asking you for relationship advice and really, once you realized the jig was up you didn't have the foresight to pull Graham aside and at least try to bullshit your way out of it?

 

Marquel no attempt to conversate with Jackie brah? Did your feel your stoic awesomeness would trump anything that Johnny come lately had to offer? For real?

 

Bring on tomorrow's episode!

[maryshelley]

 

I know, especially since I have to override the auto-correct in order to capitalize the L in AshLee.

 

I think that in protest of her back-stabbing behavior towards Clare, we should make AshLee forfeit one of her uppercase letters Sorry, Ashlee.

[Pixel]

AshLee must be incredibly insecure to trash Clare that way. It makes no sense. She's in a relatively stable situation with Graham, but still goes out of her way to undermine someone else's "relationship". She's a nasty piece of work.

[Armchair Critic]

I agree. It was bizarre, it just seemed to come out of nowhere, there was AshLee lounging with Zach (who I have never seen her talk to) ripping into Clare. There was no need for AshLee to do that, she was with Graham and Clare wasn't moving in on him, so why spoil it for Clare?

 

Marquel no attempt to conversate with Jackie brah? Did your feel your stoic awesomeness would trump anything that Johnny come lately had to offer? For real?

 

I will put on my flame proof suit and ask if we are sure Marquel is straight? Seems like he doesn't even try with the women and I see no chemistry with any of them. Does he think his charisma (which I don't see) is enough to carry him?

Edited August 26, 2014 by Armchair Critic

[Dlevron]

Does anyone know the name of the band that played on Jackie's date? I need to know!!! It was such a great song!

[reggiejax]

I really couldn't stand Cody when he was on Andi's season, but I have to admit he's starting to grow on me now.  He seems like the kind of guy who would be a lot of fun just to hang out with, whether in a romantic or just platonic setting.

 

 

I don't know, Cody seems like a guy who has a closet full of matching cowboy boots and denim hot pants. Maybe a little cowboy hat and little cowboy vest to complete the look. But I admit, I might be alone in thinking that.