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Manzo'd With Children - General Discussion

Meredith Quill

By Meredith Quill
in Manzo'd With Children

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EtheltoTillie
EtheltoTillie

Today they announced they are not coming back.

iwasish
iwasish

Drinking brown Coke or Root beer is fine, the bubbles and the foam and fizz, override the color. But for quenching my thirst, icy cold water is needed and the black color would be a distraction. Any a

raiderred1
raiderred1

For sure!     I drink a lot of water during the day while exercising my horses and the thought of black water just grosses me out soooo much.  Leave it to the Manzo's to think of such a marketing fa

Auntie Anxiety

Auntie Anxiety

 

 

Of course, I think Dina looks just like Caroline with blond hair and filler-enhanced lips.

That gene must be strong.

And Chris Laurita looks exactly like Caroline with that perpetual "I smell a fart" look on his face.

 

I watched for about ten minutes but it was too stupid, even for me.  And Sunday night is a busy television night.  

 

Having those grown children living at home (even if it is just for the show, which is a problem in and of itself since it's supposed to be a reality show) is just plain unhealthy.  I told my sons (who are basically the ages of Albie and Chritifer) that, although I'd love for them to live at home after college (not really, but I had to sound nice), it would be unhealthy for them AND for me.  

 

Too much staged "frolic," too much "hilarity" ensuing, too phony and much too much Manzo.  I'm conflicted because I love the snark, but Caroline trying to channel Lucille Ball makes my stomach churn.

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fliptopbox

fliptopbox

(edited)

Chris's face does not match his body. I don't know what he did to himself but his face looks swollen, bloated, and just shitty in general. Kind of like a jack-o-lantern that's been left out too long. Although I did think he has the best personality out of the bunch, which I guess isn't saying much. Lauren is a total hosebeast. I hope Vito leaves her at the altar.

 

Did Albie get hair plugs? I swear the last time we saw him he was really thinning on top and now not so much.

 

 

*Edited since I can't type today.

Edited by fliptopbox
  • Love 4
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DrivingSideways

DrivingSideways

I noticed Albie's plugs as well.  Like others, Albie pings my gaydar, but the Laurita clan seems super gay friendly so it's weird that he's closeted.  This show is just too fake for me.  I can do fake - I love Don't Be Tardy, but Caroline pretending to be fun-loving and easy breezy isn't realistic.  She's just too bitter to sell it.  Is Al Sr going to be part of the show or is he busy with his girlfriend?

 

And these kids need a job.  It's pathetic that they are all romping around at Mom's house when they are pushing 30.  At least go to school...

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zenme

zenme

Yeah, the Lauritas seem not to be bothered by sexual orientation, but of course, we don't know much about the Manzos. There's been the persistent rumor of Tommy Manzo, and Dina being his beard in exchange for a comfortable life. Who knows...In any case, the show is boring.

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JerseyGirl

JerseyGirl

Chris's face does not match his body. I don't know what he did to himself but his face looks swollen, bloated, and just shitty in general. Kind of like a jack-o-lantern that's been left out too long. 

 

I too thought he looked awful.  I almost want to say he looked stoned from too much weed. Ok, I said it.

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JerseyGirl

JerseyGirl

(edited)

I read an article where Caroline said they taped 8 episodes so if we get 2 episodes per week we'll be done with this show by the end of this month.  Hopefully, more episodes won't be ordered and the show cancelled.

 

Speaking of RHONJ rolling into this show on DVR.  My DVR had Manzo'd schedule to air at midnight last night as the "first" episode.  While watching RHONJ after 9:00 last night I saw that Manzo'd was premiering in less than 1 hour (that countdown clock on the bottom right they always put up for new episodes/premieres).  According to my Comcast channel schedule, Manzo'd was not supposed to be new at 10:00pm but at Midnight. I thought that was odd.

 

In another article from March, Caroline said that Lauren will start looking for wedding dresses this July or August, so that clip of her trying on dresses was just a photo op for Glamour magazine, she wasn't seriously looking for dresses at that time.

Edited by JerseyGirl
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iwasish

iwasish

I just saw the promo for this show and I need a reality check from you all.  There is a shot on a boat of Albie with Caroline's arms around his neck.  To me it looked like a classic girlfriend pose from a movie, a couple on a boat or motorcycle hair blowing in the breeze.  I have never seen Caroline look so smiley and blissful.  I know how much Caroline looooves her oldest son but it creeped me out. I reran it for Mr. Moving and asked what he thought.  After I reminded him that they were mother and "adult" son he said "Gross that looks kind of incestuous to me."   So I am asking if Mr. Moving and I are the only ones who were creeped out by that shot?

Didn't I see that scene in "The Way We Were"?    Next week she'll be fixing his hair and calling him Hubble. 

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Persnickety1

Persnickety1

You guys!!! The best part of the episode(s) was Caroline WIPING DOWN THE COUNTER!!!

 

That woman wipes a counter like no other.

 

Yeah, I too noticed (and was pissed off by) the way my DVR picked up Manzo'd with Assholes as a part of RHONJ.

 

It's like I was blackmailed into promoting the initial ratings for this nauseatingly ridiculous shitfest.

 

Probably Andy, trying to bolster the actual ratings and show the top dogs at NBC how well his favorite family The Manzos performed in the ratings.

 

I saw people on various Bravo Facebook pages saying they changed the channel as soon as this mess came on.  I'm hoping the ratings for this dismal Bravo entry smell as bad as whatever Caroline is perpetually smelling.

  • Love 4
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Petunia13

Petunia13

Okay, I admit I kept dozing off during both episodes of this. [snip]

Maybe Bravo should market this shitfest as a drug-free alternative to Ambien or Lunesta.

So funny you said this. I fell asleep during it too. Considering it was on before 9 pm here that's truly sad. It was that stupid and boring.

I don't get the premise of this show. I really don't. These "kids" are full-fledged, grown-assed adults that should have lives of their own outside of Mama Caroline's clawing hands. It's not like they're 18, 19 and 20 and just starting out in their adult lives. There's nothing cute about grown-assed men living at home with mama, not to me anyway. It's really rather appalling.

Its not cute or relatable at all. Screams issues to me. Laziness and plain stupidity too. Also, I don't think the business that nasty toucan Caroline financed for her brats like the restaurant or Catface still exist otherwise this jackasses would be promoting it on their show. Caroline's sisters Dina and whoever look like birds as well.

Finally what the fuck does "asomethin" mean?Heifer said it on Real Housewives and it plays on Bravo's ads 20x a day.

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RazzleberryPie

RazzleberryPie

 She must be very petite because 141 lbs is not heavy unless you are as short as Snookie. I will have to give her credit for getting on the scale in front of the world, though!. 

 

Jac being portrayed as the zany botoxed aunt. Along with needing to stop trying to make the Manzo's happen, Bravo needs to stop trying making her happen, too.  

Yeah, Caro is that short. Barely tops 5'. She's mentioned frequently at how 'tiny' she is/was. Nah, she's just short. Short and petite aren't the same thing.

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demarti

demarti

 

 

Crittofer looks more like Big Al every day. Ladies who date Crittofer, gaze upon your future!

Except Al is much taller. On a superficial note, while lapbands, boob reductions and hair plugs are the norm in this family, Crittofer needs to get his teeth fixed. I don't understand when wealthy parents don't get braces for their kids. I'm sure they would have done it for Albie, king of the Manzo's, if he needed it. 

  • Love 4
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Gigi43

Gigi43

(edited)

I watched a few minutes of this after the WTF-ah-WWHL interview with Teresa and Joe. How the hell did Lauren get WORSE? Can we get a psych evaluation on Vito ASAP?

What stands out the most is Jacqueline bring the Zany Aunt... When on the last RHONJ (that aired right before this last night?) Was the heartbroken friend/mom. Anything the script asks for, huh, Jaq?

Edited by Gigi43
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Persnickety1

Persnickety1

What a zany family. This show is an unscripted peak at a very charismatic family. Just kidding. This show sucks. It might be the most unwatchable show Bravo has ever aired.

 

I believe it's even topped Courtney Loves Dallas as the most unwatchable stinker on Bravo.

 

I mean, at least on CLD, we got to see her bunny-boiling obsession with Matt!!! Nordgren!!!

 

Unless somebody develops near full-blown fatal attraction-esque tendencies in a hurry, this crapfest hopefully sinks quicker than the Titanic.

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BostonBlonde

BostonBlonde

I was going to even avoid hate watching, but I could not stay away--only because of the snark here. I'll try a couple of eps.

I'll save you the time. Don't bother. This thread should have it's own reality show...it's funnier than MWC. A lot funnier. 

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JerseyGirl

JerseyGirl

Thank You RadarOnline for calling them out ...

 

...   the brothers actually still live at their longtime bachelor pad about 40 minutes away in Hoboken.  The blk water entrepreneurs moved into 333 River Street in 2011, and have been a constant presence around the luxury waterfront building ever since.  “I saw Albie in the lobby last week, and spotted Chris in the elevator recently as well,” a neighbor tells Radar. “The boys definitely still live here. The entire premise of their new show is fake!”  Last year, the entrepreneur pair opened a restaurant, Little Town NJ, attached to 333 River— but the neighbor insists the building visits are not of a professional nature.  “If they were just in the area for work, why would they be in the apartment elevator or lobby?” questions the insider.

 

Caroline, you're a fake:

Though Manzo’d With Children was filmed last fall and earlier this year, Caroline stated that the boys still live at home during an October 1 appearance on the Today show.  “They left boys, they came back men!” she told Kathie Lee Gifford and Hoda Kotb.

 

http://radaronline.com/exclusives/2014/10/caroline-manzo-sons-fakery/

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MyAimIsTrue

MyAimIsTrue

 was filmed last fall and earlier this year, Caroline stated that the boys still live at home during an October 1 appearance on the Today show.  “They left boys, they came back men!” she told Kathie Lee Gifford and Hoda Kotb.

 

Ugh, now I'm gonna puke.

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EtheltoTillie

EtheltoTillie

I'll save you the time. Don't bother. This thread should have it's own reality show...it's funnier than MWC. A lot funnier. 

I tried the two On Demand episodes but fell asleep one third through each.  Awful.

 

P.S. to someone upthread.  There were counter-wiping scenes in both episodes!  That I managed to catch!

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nyxy

nyxy

This is such a fantastic thread- one of the very best  I've read, and I've read a few hystericalones on this site. I thought I'd have to watch (or at least fforward through) the episode even to bitch about it, but you all made that unnecessary.  I can't thank you enough. So far I've gathered the following:

 

In this episode we had
 

  • a long segment on Lauren's armpits (a reason, all by its lonesome self, not to watch)
  • Lauren (aka "Albert in a dress," according to her loving mother) shopping for wedding clothes? A little prematurely, surely....(RUN VITO RUN)
  • Caroline on a trapeze (wheeeeeeeee she's fun like that)
  • Caroline wiping down counters!!! (hee hee)
  • Jax the kooky aunt
  • Gregg (I just have no reaction to him ever, zero zilch nada, but gather he made it into the episode all the way from California- I didn't really doubt that where there were cameras and the Manzos he'd blow in)
  • Chris pontificating on women  (I hope they laid off "fat girls and blowjobs" jokes this time, vile misogynist pig that he is)
  • Albie with new hair plugs? Not working, not joining the Police Academy, and not going back to college.

 
I don't remember seeing too much discussion of Big Al. Figured he must have cunningly slept his way through this episode, as he did through so many others on NJ, but apparently not, because I actually saw one traumatizing picture of him mauling Caroline's boobs. It was on a realitytea.com review: the picture looks a little fake to me because Caro's face looks like a frozen blow up doll's.
 
warning: should be clicked only by the strong of stomach, once seen cannot be unseen
 
http://www.realitytea.com/2014/10/06/caroline-manzo-excited-rhonj-fans-see-different-side-manzod-with-children/

 

I hope it didn't actually appear in the episode. But she's always been so anxious to demonstrate on camera how much he lusts after her that it must have got in- and I'm sure there will be more to follow.

 

Anyway, thank you so much for the belly laughs, everyone: much appreciated! Carry on.

  • Love 3
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JerseyGirl

JerseyGirl

Next week,:

 

Albie's Girlfriend Meets the Manzos

When Albie introduces his girlfriend to the family, Lauren is less than impressed.

 

http://www.bravotv.com/manzod-with-children/season-1/videos/albies-girlfriend-meets-the-manzos

 

gawd, Lauren's  a bitch.


Bravotv.com: What has everyone been up to since we last saw you on The Real Housewives of New Jersey?

Lauren Manzo: Just working a lot--trying to get my business to be as successful as possible!

Albie Manzo: A lot of work! blk has kept me extremely busy. It's really starting to take off, and I'm very proud of that. Little Town has expanded, as well, which you'll see on the show. Oh, and we moved home for a bit.

Chris Manzo: More of the same! Keeping busy with the water and Littletown, trying to adjust to living back home. I've also gained weight.

 

http://www.bravotv.com/manzod-with-children/season-1/blogs/manzo-qa/the-manzo-kids-our-show-is-better-than-rhonj?cid=show_cast_blogs

  • Love 1
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BucFan

BucFan

I refuse to watch these people and this mess. I do enjoy reading all of your snark. Thank you all for taking one for the team :)

I must add I hate the way Caroline and Prince Albie talk. It's like they have a lisp and they always have this big Sh%# Eating Grin on their stupid mugs.

  • Love 1
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SFoster21

SFoster21

This is such a fantastic thread- one of the very best I've read, and I've read a few hystericalones on this site. I thought I'd have to watch (or at least fforward through) the episode even to bitch about it, but you all made that unnecessary. I can't thank you enough. So far I've gathered the following:

In this episode we had

  • a long segment on Lauren's armpits (a reason, all by its lonesome self, not to watch)
  • Lauren (aka "Albert in a dress," according to her loving mother) shopping for wedding clothes? A little prematurely, surely....(RUN VITO RUN)
  • Caroline on a trapeze (wheeeeeeeee she's fun like that)
  • Caroline wiping down counters!!! (hee hee)
  • Jax the kooky aunt
  • Gregg (I just have no reaction to him ever, zero zilch nada, but gather he made it into the episode all the way from California- I didn't really doubt that where there were cameras and the Manzos he'd blow in)
  • Chris pontificating on women (I hope they laid off "fat girls and blowjobs" jokes this time, vile misogynist pig that he is)
  • Albie with new hair plugs? Not working, not joining the Police Academy, and not going back to college.

I don't remember seeing too much discussion of Big Al. Figured he must have cunningly slept his way through this episode, as he did through so many others on NJ, but apparently not, because I actually saw one traumatizing picture of him mauling Caroline's boobs. It was on a realitytea.com review: the picture looks a little fake to me because Caro's face looks like a frozen blow up doll's.

warning: should be clicked only by the strong of stomach, once seen cannot be unseen

http://www.realitytea.com/2014/10/06/caroline-manzo-excited-rhonj-fans-see-different-side-manzod-with-children/

I hope it didn't actually appear in the episode. But she's always been so anxious to demonstrate on camera how much he lusts after her that it must have got in- and I'm sure there will be more to follow.

Anyway, thank you so much for the belly laughs, everyone: much appreciated! Carry on.

Believe it or not, she was weighing her breasts. It aired.

  • Love 2
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iwasish

iwasish

Next week,:

 

Albie's Girlfriend Meets the Manzos

 

Please let Caroline catch her giving Albie a blow job.... I want to see her head explode, on camera. Then I can die happy.

Are they still trying to make BLK happen? Is it the least bit successful? I haven't seen it anywhere here in the south.

I don't see BLK having a chance against good old southern sweet tea! Not gonna happen.

  • Love 4
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LilaFowler

LilaFowler

(edited)

Do the "kids" live at home or not?  I suppose it doesn't matter, since Al Sr. is most likely footing the bill regardless.  I'm sure he's paying for Lauren's business and chipping in for BLK and Old Town (or whatever that restaurant is/was called) when they need cash.  He'll never be able to retire.  He and Don Caroline should be in downsizing and saving for retirement mode, not supporting our three adult children because they are useless.

Edited by candy moocher
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nyxy

nyxy

Are they still trying to make BLK happen? Is it the least bit successful? I haven't seen it anywhere here in the south.

 I gathered that the show is suggesting BLK is very successful. That roaring success  is why Albie is SO busy all the time. And in the promos had many clunky hints that BLK was going strong (way too much t-shirt and logo flashing for anyone to be left in doubt, even if one were desperately ffing through the damn thing).

 

I had to google BLK. I see it listed on the Walmart website, with five 5-star glowing reviews, and at amazon where it typically gets 5 star reviews when only 5-7 people are reviewing....or 3 star ratings if more than 15 are reviewing. Comparable brews get much higher ratings from many more reviewers.

 

Couldn't pull it up on wholefoods- I thought BLK was on the shelves there already and had been for some time.

 

So confusing....like all the other business dealings on the NJ franchise and its spinoffs.

 

I guess on the Manzo show Albie implies it's a thriving business taking up all his time.

 

In contrast, in his THs for RHONJ last season, Uncle Chris implied BLK wasn't doing too well.  They were pouring all their money into it but it wasn't going anywhere (they couldn't possibly be expected to use non-existent BLK profits to discharge any other debts, of the kind that forced his Signature Apparel business into bankruptcy). Did  I just imagine those sad, drooopy faced THS done by Chris whenever BLK was brought up?

 

Maybe BLK is a roaring success and no one told Chris Laurita?

 

Or it's a miserable flop and no one told Albie?

 

So every day the puir wee laddie trots off to the BLK offices (that is to say Nana's old cottage she's moved out of), carrying his smart briefcase and wearing his nice BLK tshirt. While there he rushes from pillar to post solving one imaginary crisis after another. Then he comes home to a hero's welcome from Mommy? Of course he doesn't collect a penny's salary from BLK (he claims he pours all the earnings back into the company).

  • Love 4
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Gigi43

Gigi43

On the BLK front I've always wondered if Albie and Chris were pushed into it for the sake of helping Uncle Chris. Al Manzo seemed less than fond of it last season.

I said a lot on the TWoP forums I think Chris Manzo would be the right fit to really learn the business of the Brownstone and down the line be the one to take Al's role. Its always annoyed me how Caroline and the others looked at the Brownstone as something the younger generation should "rise above." It seems to be the very last resort behind doing next to nothing. The most interest I have in the Manzos is what exactly Al thinks of that, especially if he's supporting Albie and Chris so they can back Caroline's beloved brother. Does anyone know how much Albie, Chris and Lauren get for the show? I'm sure its a good salary compared to your average real job, but real celebrities have wasted more money, it's not a given they can make it last.

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zenme

zenme

Okay, so the Manzo kids are, according to Caroline, hard workers.  What do the boys do exactly? BLK water?  And Lauren has Cafface? My mom is a business owner and especially in the first few years of the business she worked her tail off.  There would have been no time for her to be on a trapeze, or frolicking outdoors.  Are these businesses just little pet projects that the Manzo kids have? It seems that Ma and Pa Manzo are just funding these little ventures for the kids, but the kids aren't really doing any real work.

  • Love 3
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sleekandchic

sleekandchic

Caroline and her "boys" are creepier than ever. Looking into my crystal ball, I see Caroline "allowing" Albie to marry and have two kids. Then, when poor Mrs Albie' s body parts show up in various dumpsters throughout Hoboken, Caroline will wash the blood from her hands and set upon raising Albie' s kids as her own. Giving myself the shivers.....

During Tuesday's premiere of "The Peoples Couch," Bravo showed an extended preview of Manzo'd. Omg...unbearable. Chris reminiscing about his funniest or most remembered event growing up?! Who the fuck cares? Just shut it.

  • Love 6
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RealityGal

RealityGal

Perhaps it's something in the BLK ?

I think he's got a kidney issue.

I just saw a few bottles at Whole Foods the other day.  You could have knocked me over with a feather, I had assumed BLK had just folded.  Of course I didn't buy any, the concept of black water, or supporting any of the people associated with that venture makes me nauseous.  I don't want my money funding Jacqueline's addiction to plastic surgery.

  • Love 3
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beesknees

beesknees

My cousin picked up a bottle of BLK for me (as a joke).  We tried it together and it was, I dunno, odd?  Sort of tasted thick?  My brain can't seem to square water + black.  Watched about 5 mins. of the show and turned it off, only because those imps at Bravo piggy-backed it onto RHONJ.  I thought I was getting a 2-hr. episode of NJ.  I wish they'd stop doing that.  Manzo'd with Kids is going to drop like a sinking turd.  This is got to be the stupidest, most BORING show known to man. 

  • Love 3
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HumblePi

HumblePi

(edited)

I read an article where Caroline said they taped 8 episodes so if we get 2 episodes per week we'll be done with this show by the end of this month.  Hopefully, more episodes won't be ordered and the show cancelled.

 

Speaking of RHONJ rolling into this show on DVR.  My DVR had Manzo'd schedule to air at midnight last night as the "first" episode.  While watching RHONJ after 9:00 last night I saw that Manzo'd was premiering in less than 1 hour (that countdown clock on the bottom right they always put up for new episodes/premieres).  According to my Comcast channel schedule, Manzo'd was not supposed to be new at 10:00pm but at Midnight. I thought that was odd.

Eight episodes in total already in the can, two of them aired. Six more to go. I think Bravo should just run those six remaining episodes back to back starting at 7 a.m. on Saturday, cartoon day for kiddies, and just get them over with. Hand the Manzo's the check, brush their hands and say 'done deal, bye bye'.

 

my_reaction_as_i_finished_my_last_exam-1

 

I would have been happier if Bravo hastily put together a quickie spinoff "Milania Takes Over" (sort of a Tabitha Takes Over) only with Milania Giudice as the superstar. I'd tune in to watching Milania displaying full on out-of-control brattiness and general 8 year old fucknuttery before I'd ever watch another episode of the Manzo's

Edited by HumblePi
  • Love 13
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RealityGal

RealityGal

My cousin picked up a bottle of BLK for me (as a joke).  We tried it together and it was, I dunno, odd?  Sort of tasted thick?  My brain can't seem to square water + black.  Watched about 5 mins. of the show and turned it off, only because those imps at Bravo piggy-backed it onto RHONJ.  I thought I was getting a 2-hr. episode of NJ.  I wish they'd stop doing that.  Manzo'd with Kids is going to drop like a sinking turd.  This is got to be the stupidest, most BORING show known to man. 

oh ewww, the very thought of thick, black water.  blerf.

  • Love 2
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beesknees

beesknees

(edited)

The texture of BLK was weird to me.  BLK contains fulvic (sp?) acid.  And don't get me started on "fulvic'' because I immediately think of vulva (sigh).  The black water misfires on many cylinders.  I've only seen one store in my part of the state that carries it.


 

Edited by beesknees
  • Love 2
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