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Fandom and Viewer Issues: "Fan" Is Short for "Fanatic"


Emma
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The fact they showed that drinking scene (a version of which could have easily been in the next ep if they were desperate to have it) instead of ANY emotional payoff with Emma for the Hook's heart storyline tells me they're more interested in appeasing SQ fans than story integrity. And I think that's a problem.

Yeah, and it's not only that scene. Since this season began there has been a lot of queer-baiting (Emma promising to fight for Regina's happy ending; all of episode five, including the flashback; Emma using her relationship with Hook to anger Regina instead of using Henry; the drinking scene and Emma accepting to be part of Operation Who Gives a Damn in the finale). And this not only affects the story, it sends a really bad message: bully and you would get what you want (or you would get really close to it). I am a teacher, and that's a message I don't like.

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Of the countries, Japan got it worst in WWII.

 

That's... a big question, actually. As a Russian, I reserve the right to disagree.

 

Re: Espenson's tweet - well, it seems I was right to consider her vastly overrated and fond of creepy stuff in romances. I mean, she championed Buffy/Spike, so SQ should be right up her alley.

 

Queer-bating in OUAT makes me sick. I can't believe that not that long ago Adam and Eddy said aloud that it would never happen and didn't even think to apologize. Such a fast turn-around.

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Re: Espenson's tweet - well, it seems I was right to consider her vastly overrated and fond of creepy stuff in romances. I mean, she championed Buffy/Spike, so SQ should be right up her alley.

 

Was that her?  I thought it was Marti Noxon or whatever her name was.  I ended up liking Buffy and Spike to some extent, but they really ruined "Buffy" in Season 6-7.  I don't know which is worse, a show which was awesome but was utterly ruined like that, or a show like "Once Upon a Time" which has always been flawed, so you never have the heightened expectations to start with.

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Jane Espenson was a fan of the fluffier side of Spuffy. Marti liked the dark and twisty aspects. Other writers had varying views. Season 6 had them clash really badly.The problem with fluffy Spuffy was that it had to ignore that Spike was literally a soulless monster that liked to kill people. Hook has the charming rogue aspect without the brutal baggage so while I loathe Spuffy with the fire of a thousand suns I can get behind Captain Swan. 

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I thank every deity out there that I never shipped Buffy with anybody. I watched and enjoyed the hell out of the show, but I was never in the fandom. Just the tiny bits of Spuffy/Bangel fandom drama I've seen make me very glad of that, too.

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My favorite time in Buffy fandom was at TWoP, with the banner wars. Anyone remember? The one banner paid for by Willow/Tara fans said, "Willow and Tara are the magic," and then another group of fans bought an ad that said, "Tara is dead. Get over it. Signed, fans of moving the hell on." Oh Good Lord, the wank was precious. Fandom is so different nowadays. BACK IN MY DAY, said the crazy old lady, fandom was THIS WAY, AND WE LIKED IT. And now I will shake my fist at a cloud.

 

Anyway, word was that Marti Noxon was in love with Buffy/Spike. Not sure about Jane, but she wrote some underrated Buffy eps like Band Candy ("Kiss rocks? Why would anybody want to -- oh") and Pangs ("You made a bear!" "I didn't mean to!" "Undo it! Undo it!"). Lol. Why can't Jane write stuff like that for Once?

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Banner Ad wars were like the best time ever on TWOP. I really only remember the Alias ones. "SpyDaddy, SpyMommy, Spydaddy, Everything's cooler with a SPY in front of it. So sit your spyself on your spycouch and watch our spyshow!"

 

If only that had once again been an option to save TWOP. Then again, I can just imagine the horrific ad wars that there would have been about all the ships on Once. Still, it woulda paid the bills.

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Oh, yes, I remember the banners. I did two for "Alias." One was a wedding announcement for Vaughn and Contrivance Jones, with a dove and a bat. LOL.

 

Yes, I can only imagine the Once ship wars in banner form.

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Espenson is guilty of saying stuff like "Spuffy is so adult because it's dark and twisty", so she's definitely a fan of this pairing. I was never in Buffy fandom (even if it's one of my favorite shows ever), and I guess I'm glad, because I'm very, very biased about it and have a lot of strong opinions about all aspects of the show. It would have been pretty hard to discuss it, and, really, even watch it on a weekly basis.

 

Not sure about Jane, but she wrote some underrated Buffy eps like Band Candy ("Kiss rocks? Why would anybody want to -- oh") and Pangs ("You made a bear!" "I didn't mean to!" "Undo it! Undo it!"). Lol. Why can't Jane write stuff like that for Once?

 

She did write some of the best episodes of Once, still.

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So today I learned that Tanya Maguire, married to Sean Maguire, has gained the title Outlaw Queen Ambassador.

 

I'm kind of getting that same feeling between awesome and awkward when I realized that the cast and crew of Once have torn down the veils between the original creators and the fandom.

 

This planet is strange.

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Well it's odd to read, but to look at it cynically: his gig is fairly contingent on the popularity of Outlaw Queen, especially given he's still not a regular on the show and the writers clearly have no intention of giving Robin much of a storyline on his own. So his family has a vested interest in that relationship continuing, and thus encouraging fans to talk about it on social media. I don't imagine she actually cares about the relationship in a shipper way. Sadly, I guess it also pre-emptively deflects the weirdos who hassle actors' real-life partners online. 

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Ah, yes. I've also gotten the impression she rather enjoys Twitter "fame" (compare to Colin or Robert's wives, we barely hear from them) so getting on the shippers' good side is smart.

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This time, Emilie is the one who is being attacked by "fans" on Twitter. Her boyfriend too. Long story short, there is apparently a blog on Tumblr that is dedicated to making up rumors that Emilie and Robert are secretly in love, and there are actually people who believe it/ship it and attacking Eric (Emilie's BF). Eric actually got on Twitter and was basically like "You have no life if you're gossiping about strangers" and people are replying and asking him if he's crying and does he need a handkerchief and all that.

 

I hate this fandom. No matter what your feelings on a character/ship/storyline, leave all the actors alone.

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Ugh, I hate the Bad Apples in this fandom! Deluded and rude is a bad combination.

 

I guess the other big fandom kerfuffle right now involves SQ fans accusing OQ fans of robo-voting on that favorite couples poll that OQ finished second in, saying that it shouldn't count and that SQ fans vote only in IP-protected polls. Yeah, right. LOL. As if every fandom with more than 12 fans doesn't cheat on Internet polls. Everybody with any sense knows that Internet polls are cheated on all the time, so they're not even remotely scientific or legit. They can be fun, but all they show is which fandom has the most people willing to 1) robo-vote and 2) spend hours clicking away.

 

That said, I always want my fandom to "win" them, just because I'm competitive. ;)

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Is there some kind of high authority for each fandom faction who dictates that fandom's policy and then polices it? Because otherwise, how do they know that their fandom faction doesn't vote in "those" polls or robo-vote? Is it just based on high-minded ideals that no one who has the good taste to like this pairing would lower themselves to do something so base?

 

I'm not even sure I have strong enough opinions to be in a particular faction (unless there's a catchall anti-Regina group), and if I do, no one's sent me the rulebook, secret handshake and org chart.

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Ugh, I hate the Bad Apples in this fandom! Deluded and rude is a bad combination.

 

I guess the other big fandom kerfuffle right now involves SQ fans accusing OQ fans of robo-voting on that favorite couples poll that OQ finished second in, saying that it shouldn't count and that SQ fans vote only in IP-protected polls. Yeah, right.

That said, I always want my fandom to "win" them, just because I'm competitive. ;)

Seriously, people said that? And believed it? Some are even more delusional than I had originally thought.

(As for the polls, I know they're ridiculous and like it when my thing wins, anyway.)

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I hate this fandom. No matter what your feelings on a character/ship/storyline, leave all the actors alone.

I continue to get creeped out when fandom bad apples really blur the lines between fantasy and reality. I know this happens beyond the OUAT fandom all the time but I think what pisses me off is antagonizing someone's real life spouse/significant other/partner. Didn't SQ fans go after Lana's husband too? Oy...

 

I just don't understand loving a fictional couple enough for this "real life collateral damage be damned" attitude. Breakups or divorces are painful enough without thinking about someone out there making a gifset that is the result of a failed relationship. ::I hope that didn't sound soapboxy!::

 

I guess the other big fandom kerfuffle right now involves SQ fans accusing OQ fans of robo-voting on that favorite couples poll that OQ finished second in, saying that it shouldn't count and that SQ fans vote only in IP-protected polls.

Which favorite couple poll was this?

 

I will try to ask this without sounding condescending...but in all seriousness--as someone who didn't even know what SQ was until this thread was started-- do the SQ fans get along with anyone? Seems they have attacked the creators, actors, writers, media who doesn't portray SQ with hearts and rainbows in any article, CS fans, OQ fans...the list goes on.

 

Also--I guess this can be filed under SQ 101 questioning but-- I'm well aware they are the loudest squeaky wheel in the fandom but any ideas on how large the SQ fandom is? I know it's near impossible to quantify something like ship fandoms, I just wondered how many people actually ship a step grandmother/granddaughter couple where one has tried to intentionally kill the other on at least two occasions enough that they think its okay to be verbally abusive towards anyone involved in the show. 

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Which favorite couple poll was this?

 

I will try to ask this without sounding condescending...but in all seriousness--as someone who didn't even know what SQ was until this thread was started-- do the SQ fans get along with anyone? Seems they have attacked the creators, actors, writers, media who doesn't portray SQ with hearts and rainbows in any article, CS fans, OQ fans...the list goes on.

 

Also--I guess this can be filed under SQ 101 questioning but-- I'm well aware they are the loudest squeaky wheel in the fandom but any ideas on how large the SQ fandom is? I know it's near impossible to quantify something like ship fandoms, I just wondered how many people actually ship a step grandmother/granddaughter couple where one has tried to intentionally kill the other on at least two occasions enough that they think its okay to be verbally abusive towards anyone involved in the show. 

 

It was this poll. I think you can tell by the number of votes that perhaps something ever-so-slightly hinky may have happened with the top two couples. ;) I think the fans of every other couple saw what was happening and cleared the field.

 

I think SQ fans and RB fans may get along, because there's no ship overlap and they bond in their hatred of Hook, but don't quote me on that.

 

As for the size of the SQ fandom, I have no clue. It's really impossible to gauge. Certainly they think (and many of them constantly say) they're the biggest Once fandom -- which I think is utter and complete bollocks. IMO they're much louder than their size. I think they're much more an Internet fandom than a general-viewer fandom. I also had no clue that people shipped Emma and Regina before joining the fandom. Which was pretty silly on my part, as there are people who will ship any combination of two things on the planet; I'm sure there are people who ship a whisk with a wiffle ball.

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It always amuses me when people get all bent out of shape about those polls because the winner is never indicative of its popularity. ANY group of shippers can vote 10 times a day from different computers, and get all their friends who don't even watch the show to vote as well.

 

 

do the SQ fans get along with anyone?

 

Well, there ARE nice people in each group. It's just the BA's that we notice. I know two SQ shippers really well, and they're fine with just making arts and reading fic and enjoying/discussing moments on the show that they get and that's it and they stay out of the drama. They do see the flaws in the Regina/Emma relationship, but that doesn't stop them from shipping it anyway. And you know what? That's fine. Just don't force your views on others nor attack them if they see differently.

 

 

I think SQ fans and RB fans may get along

 

Really? I hate Rumbelle but from what I've seen, a lot of them hate SQ and Regina.

 

 

I'm sure there are people who ship a whisk with a wiffle ball.

 

Hey now, that whisk needs companionship!

Edited by Geeni
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Re: size of fandom. One thing to remember is that "size of fandom" and "size of real viewers who actually ship it" are not always correlatable. So if we're talking, I don't know, Tumblr fandom, a recent Tumblr survey put CS as biggest Once fandom and Swan Queen as second biggest. However, if you were to ask random casual viewers, I would say that OQ would be way more represented than SQ, even though their fandom is smaller. 

 

I just looked at that OQ poll - Damon and Elena winning I get, but OQ having so many more votes than Olicity? Suuuuuure. I'll believe that when pigs fly.

Edited by Serena
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I don't know how popular they really are, even if I'm pretty sure that outside the internet fandom SQ is not a thing and the biggest part of the viewers don't even know that this ship exists. And even online they aren't as popular as they think they are. Tumblr released a list with the most reblogged ships there in 2014, with Captain Swan in the 4th place and SQ in the 20th. But they are really loud and rude, and that is starting to affect the show.

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Really? I hate Rumbelle but from what I've seen, a lot of them hate SQ and Regina.

 

Hey, I said, don't quote me on that! ;) It's just an impression I've gotten, but I don't pay too much attention to what goes on within OUAT fandoms other than CS and what I stumble across on general OUAT social media. There's a lot of conflict among ALL ships, which is unfortunate, but SQ definitely seems the most contentious, as they're the one that conflicts with two other, canon ships. I didn't really step into the fandom until after Neal was dead, but there are certainly still some contentious, hardcore SF fans around, but it doesn't seem a big fandom now (for obvious reasons).

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I didn't really step into the fandom until after Neal was dead, but there are certainly still some contentious, hardcore SF fans around,

 

Well, just because a character is dead doesn't mean people have to stop shipping it.

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I agree that lots of Rumbellers hate Regina. It's the "villain vs villain" thing - each villain's fans think that the other villain has been treated better by the "heroes" even though their fave is actually the better one/the one most redeemed/more deserving/etc. So Regina fans think the Charmings treat Regina like shit but accept Rumple, even thought Rumple is soooo much worse and that proves that the Charmings are sexists. And Rumple fans think the opposite. And they hate each other.

 

And of course, Rumple fans hate Hook because of in-show reasons (the characters have been pitted against each other often in the show and TBH, Hook almost always comes off better. In the very latest episode they kept reinforcing the Rumple=coward, Hook=brave thing that Rumple fans despise).

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It always amuses me when people get all bent out of shape about those polls because the winner is never indicative of its popularity. ANY group of shippers can vote 10 times a day from different computers, and get all their friends who don't even watch the show to vote as well.

Haha nope nothing fishy in that poll! If fans are tech savvy (or have tech savvy friends) they could write scripts that will repeatedly vote and somehow get around the vote limit. I'm decidedly un-tech savvy but in college I had friends who were really good at script writing and borrowed my laptop all the time to robo vote our school into winning polls with vote limits. Apparently its a delicate balance when writing the script to achieve between "enough votes to win" and "so many votes people call shenanigans"...which yeah I'd say this poll falls into the latter category.

 

I know ship wars go beyond this show. My theory is ship who you want to ship until your hearts content but don't be a contentious little shit about it. Meaning harassing real life people on Twitter to the point where it affects what I'm seeing on my screen should be off limits. Also not okay? Harassing so much that in addition to pacifying bullies with onscreen "nuggets" and hashtags, writers are now claiming these "fans" have it worst in the ship wars.

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I just don't understand loving a fictional couple enough for this "real life collateral damage be damned" attitude. Breakups or divorces are painful enough without thinking about someone out there making a gifset that is the result of a failed relationship.

I have a feeling 99% of the douchebaggery (or at least the stuff that involves harassing actors' real-life partners) is done by teens. Which doesn't make it okay, but... teens are, for the most part, weird, narcissistic little jerks (I certainly was). Trying to understand teen logic will make your brain explode. But if you assume that every stupid thing you read in the fandom was written by a 16-year-old, it makes a lot more sense.

 

The fandom is terrible, but replying to these kinds of fangirls is really pointless. Emilie's BF isn't doing himself any favours here. 

I thought he handled it pretty well. He didn't reply to anyone personally, just wrote that gossiping about real people on the internet can be hurtful and have real consequences. The vast majority of the responses seem to be positive. I understand the logic in just ignoring it, but I think a general appeal to common decency every now and again is a good thing and hopefully at least a few people will think twice about their actions next time.

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I understand the logic in just ignoring it, but I think a general appeal to common decency every now and again is a good thing and hopefully at least a few people will think twice about their actions next time.

I agree. If someone shuts up about something like that, then it's great if they do it because they're secure and it genuinely doesn't bother them. But I don't think anybody should ever have to pretend that they're fine with something that's genuinely interfering and influencing their lives in a bad way. But how bad does it need to get before it's acceptable to stop shrugging it off? I think this sort of nonsense is principally wrong, so I definitely support this guy's right to express himself at whatever point he feels his boundaries are getting creeped upon, considering that the matter is their personal life and the attacker isn't even in aforementioned personal life.

Edited by Faemonic
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This is why I'm glad Colin's wife isn't on Twitter and he tries to keep his family out of it. I can't imagine how bad it could get for them if she had a higher Internet profile. That being said, Colin's fans also seem to be a little more respectful of her than other significant others. Or have I just missed any drama about her?

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Honestly, this thread makes me hate society, people and everything else attached to it.  I always have WTF moments when I read that so and so was attacked on some social media platform because they're dating/married to so and so because so and so is part of half a couple of so and so's character said something people watching a show didn't like.

 

Seriously, if you're not happy, turn it off, don't go after someone's spouse because you feel they're in the way of your couple, because seriously, WTF again!  And Sean's wife should really thread carefully with fandumb because the most vocal parts are dumb, for some reason they are completely invested in whatever and I just don't understand.

 

Some people need a life.  Bullying people while sitting behind a computer screen is cowardly and disgusting, but then again, not surprising.

 

Yeah, I really hate society if this is what it has come to and I see more than my share of crap because of my work.  My mantra of hope springs eternal has taken a massive hit in the last 6 weeks.  

 

I think what gets to me the most is that there have been a lot of kids killing themselves because they're either bullied in school or online and I find this whole thing with fandom too much.  When is too much too much?  When it enough enough?  Words are hurtful when they're wielded as a weapon.  Whatever is going on behind the scenes if there is something going on, it's none of anyone's business.  If someone fucks up, it's their mess to clean up.  

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Is Twitter really considered such a valuable source of public opinion? It seems that most of the activity there (if I were to hazard an educated guess) does come from the very young who obviously have more time to spend online in fandom (says the lady who daily posts here :) I really enjoy this message board format and discussions so much more!

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Twitter has its uses. I like being able to connect with not only online friends from all over but celebrities as well. (Silly as it is, getting a reply back from a celebrity is kinda thrilling.) But I also have the maturity to, y'know, not harass anyone, spew vitriol, or just be an asshat in general.

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I used to take part in a Usenet newsgroup where the show runners and some of the actors followed our conversations and even referenced some of the things we said on the show. Of course, this was many years ago. That was kind of thrilling. I don't operate as well within the 140 character limit.

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Twitter in itself is not the problem. As with any platform, it has both good and bad points about it. It's most definitely not just teens who use it. However, it definitely is easier to access celebrities and media people via twiiter. Damon (LOST) had to quit twitter, because he couldn't help responding to trolls, and it was affecting his peace of mind. Adam seems to thrive on it. He thinks that any fan engagement is good. So, I partly blame him for the tone he has set with them. Those same fans think they can demand the sane level of attention and interaction from the other ouat cast and family members. Sad...

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I have a feeling 99% of the douchebaggery (or at least the stuff that involves harassing actors' real-life partners) is done by teens. Which doesn't make it okay, but... teens are, for the most part, weird, narcissistic little jerks (I certainly was). Trying to understand teen logic will make your brain explode. But if you assume that every stupid thing you read in the fandom was written by a 16-year-old, it makes a lot more sense.

 

I wish I could believe that and maybe it is true in the OUAT fandom, but I've seen people much older than tweens engage in this kind of behavior. I don't know exactly what causes it, but when people become over-invested, they seem to lose all perspective.  One of the problems likely is the internet which creates echo-chambers with positive feedback loops for this nonsense. Somebody suggests something minor and it just grows and grows from there, making the behavior seem normal.  That and a few people can make a lot of unpleasant noise. You probably only get 2-10 people being nutty, but it seems like a lot more (especially when they increase their numbers with sock-puppets because THIS is a very important issue - must expose the sham marriage/whatever and save the show/actor/whatever).

 

And Sean's wife should really thread carefully with fandumb because the most vocal parts are dumb, for some reason they are completely invested in whatever and I just don't understand.

 

Yes, that is unlikely to end well. At first, the fans will love all the inside information. It's like they are besties. Besties one removed from Sean. Then, something will happen (is his contract being renewed? did he get a part in a movie? Things that should remain private while negotiations are under way) and some fans are going to think that she's hiding information which she shouldn't do from her besties (who does she think she is?!?!).  Then,  some of that sub-group are going to start complaining that she's a famewhore that's riding her huband's coattails (that's why she tweeted with them in the first place ) and married  him for his money and is probably trying to control him. He should get away from her.   I follow a general music blog and that's how it always seems to go down for the artists' spouses/parents/siblings who try to engage the fans. It's horribly predictable. There are a few deranged people in every fan group. The Dali Lama probably even gets them.  People threatening to kill others for not listening to his message of peace.

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wish I could believe that and maybe it is true in the OUAT fandom, but I've seen people much older than tweens engage in this kind of behavior. I don't know exactly what causes it, but when people become over-invested, they seem to lose all perspective.  One of the problems likely is the internet which creates echo-chambers with positive feedback loops for this nonsense. Somebody suggests something minor and it just grows and grows from there, making the behavior seem normal.

 

I think a lot of it is probably teen based, but in some fandoms there are a surprising number of people who claim to be older women, often married with kids, think “Twilight Moms” and I think it is/was also prevalent in the Supernatural fandom.

 

I think a lot of people use fandom and TV as a harmless hobby and we’re all here to discuss TV in detail, but people do get over invested, not necessarily because “this is what “society” has come to but as an outlet for other pressures or issues on them, if nothing else is going that well or you’re using it as a break then its very easy to get over invested. One of my favourite authors once wrote a post on a mailing list that is dedicated to them, that rudeness in fandom has been going on as long as people have been obsessing about entertainment and making it mean more to them than just words on a page or people on a screen/in a theatre. In other words forever. There are descriptions of people getting very angry because they didn’t like the ending of one of Dickens serials and other “hatemail” from the Victorian period. It’s just like everything in the modern world communication can be world wide and instant.

Edited by Featherhat
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True. I think the real difference is probably how easy it is. Before, you didn't just have to click on retweet--you'd have feel passionate enough about it to actually write a letter and post it. The cooling off period probably weeded out a few.

Of course, then what you did get was most likely extra scary or unhinged.

Edited by Mari
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Ugh, just was scrolling in the Captain Swan tag on tumblr. Someone posted a Colifer fan fic. I find this totally disturbing since JMo and Colin are real people and Colin is of course married. I scrolled past it but saw some words, Helen was mentioned. Ugh, sometimes I hate fandom.

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Ugh, stuff like that is part of why I almost never go into the tags on Tumblr and stick to my dash. There's always something that pops up that I don't want to see, even if it's just hatred. Real-people fanfic is SO SQUICKY AND DISTURBING!

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I can't even.  I'd say that these people clearly need help (and have WAY too much time on their hands!), but I think this shows that they're beyond help.  Even SQ'ers haven't gone this far around the bend yet (at least, I hope not)!

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Yup. It's called Morilla, apparently.

 

Ew.  I don't know which I find more repulsive, the portmanteau or the concept.  And no, it's not because I'm homophobic (hell, I'm gay, for crying out loud!), but just because I find the practice of that kind of public shipping to be disgusting in general.

Edited by legaleagle53
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Ew.  I don't know which I find more repulsive, the portmanteau or the concept.  And no, it's not because I'm homophobic (hell, I'm gay, for crying out loud!), but just because I find the practice of that kind of public shipping to be disgusting in general.

Lady-loving lady piping up here with...basically, this and yes and I concur.

 

Morilla and Coliffer squick me out equally, and not in a "if you don't like it then don't engage" way either where I live and let live / ship and let ship. There's no way to claim being allied for gay rights and representation when individual rights and respect for personal lives, identities, boundaries...are sacrificed to appallingly presumptuous entitlement. That cannot be defended, and to turn real living complex human beings into vehicles to serve personal expectations that aren't informed and shouldn't apply to be, that is just contributing to The Problem. It's Just Wrong. This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things.

Edited by Faemonic
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I concur back.  If you've got a crush on one or both of them, fine, fantasize away to your heart's content (I've done a few mental porn movies with some of my favorite male TV and movie hunks in my time myself).  Just keep it to yourself and leave the rest of the universe out of it, please.

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There's no way to claim being allied for gay rights and representation when individual rights and respect for personal lives, identities, boundaries...are sacrificed to appallingly presumptuous entitlement.

 

This.

 

RPF squicks me out simply because there are RP involved, heh. Do whatever the hell you wish to fictional characters; they don't have real lives beyond the words on the page or the flicker of the movie/TV screen. But real people have real families and real lives and real identities and real senses of self. Real people have to deal with the fallout of this imagining of their personal lives in a way that fictional characters do not.

 

I ship Captain Swan. I do not ship Colin/Jen. Because they both have their own real lives that are, frankly, none of my damn business.

 

I know that I personally would not want to read a story about me and a coworker hooking up/whatever or anything else that even dares to imagine how I live my life. If I ever found anything like that (not that I would but let's just say for argument's sake), I'm pretty sure I would feel ... violated, in a way.

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