S04.E08: I'm In Love With Your Big Brain

[Pepper Mostly]

"So many things come up in my life! Like my penis, which required a quick insertion into one of my available wives".

[Auntie Anxiety]

Janae towers over Wee Marcus. His dick demands that he have a number of women around him in an attempt to get over small man/small peen issues.

[Grifter Lives]

  On 7/26/2022 at 2:45 AM, Pepper Mostly said:

Why is it taking him 20 minutes to press a polo shirt?

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Wasn't that a completely different shirt than the one that he shows up in?

[Pepper Mostly]

Oh god. Watching Marcus leering about "cooking with BUTTER" is making my skin crawl. 

"So wait, you have two wives but you're over here cooking with a lot of butter? WTF?"

[Auntie Anxiety]

Marcus thought that Janae would be throwing herself at him, happy in the prospect of having to share with two, possibly three, other women. I’m hoping Janae as some self-worth and tells him to go fuck himself.

[Auntie Anxiety]

Janae seems to be able to connect the dots. Why is she on this shitshow?

Edited July 26, 2022 by Auntie Anxiety

[sainte-chapelle]

Run Janae run!

Edited July 26, 2022 by sainte-chapelle

[Pepper Mostly]

"And by we I mean me. And by wife I mean occasional side piece since my women won't let you across the threshold of the home we share".

JUMP OUT THE WINDOW AND RUN FOR YOUR LIFE JANEA

  On 7/26/2022 at 2:54 AM, Auntie Anxiety said:

Janae seems to be able to connect the dots. Why is she on this shitsjow?

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Trying for her SAG card?

Jeez he's a fast talker. He's wound up super tight and ready to blow!

[candall]

Well, I'd say Emmys go to the Special Guest Appearances by Sam and Samantha.  They were practically guffawing into their dinner napkins over damp clueless Garrick.

You can tell they feel bad for Dannnnielle, but they speak for us all with their thought bubble:  "You gotta be kidding me with this shit."

[Auntie Anxiety]

Wee Marcus will try to smooth talk his way into Janae’s vagina in 3....2.....1

[Pepper Mostly]

"And best of all, I get all the poontang I can handle!" 

[Auntie Anxiety]

Marcus’s lack of table manners is sickening.

[Grifter Lives]

Why do we have to hear every bite Marcus takes?  It's disgusting.  

[Pepper Mostly]

Tosha called them to ask if they've banged yet? I cannot EVEN.

[Auntie Anxiety]

Next week Garrick validates our belief that he’d much rather be in a monogamous relationship with Bert and wave goodbye to Dannnniellllle. 

[Pepper Mostly]

  On 7/26/2022 at 2:58 AM, Grifter Lives said:

Why do we have to hear every bite Marcus takes?  It's disgusting.  

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Must be all the butter! I was going to say the same. If he wasn't such a leering, gross fucking bottom dwelling sleaze, his table manners alone would have been a deal breaker. 

Well, frens, we are a small band of snarkers, but we are mighty! 

Have a great week, hope it cools off! Don't forget, Friday is the return of Love After Lockup! I am mad with joy! 

[Auntie Anxiety]

Thanks for playing, kids. Hope you have a cooler, less humid week because this week has been torture in New England. Stay strong, be safe and live your best life. BTW, I think LAL returns on Friday. Be there or be square!

[candall]

Garrick:  So maybe I'll just rendevous with Bert at the resort in Mexico whenever possible and we can bang.  I'll take the translator!  You're cool with that, right Dannnnny?

[Grifter Lives]

Thank you for laughs & fun!  I finally caught up with this series, but I could not keep up with my fellow snarkers' wit. 

See you in the forums!

[South]

  On 7/26/2022 at 2:57 AM, candall said:

Well, I'd say Emmys go to the Special Guest Appearances by Sam and Samantha.  They were practically guffawing into their dinner napkins over damp clueless Garrick.

You can tell they feel bad for Dannnnielle, but they speak for us all with their thought bubble:  "You gotta be kidding me with this shit."

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Love those two!  They could be on every week.  Or even have the occasional probing dinner with any of our kings and wimmin.

[suev3333]

  On 7/26/2022 at 2:10 AM, Pepper Mostly said:

Oh for fucks sake now they're feeding him grapes? He must just sit around watching porn all day.

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Yea I know.   That was cringe worthy af.     I was waiting for the big fan on a stick to come out so they could fan their king. Do they wipe his butt too? 🙄 

[taragel]

  On 7/26/2022 at 2:57 AM, candall said:

Well, I'd say Emmys go to the Special Guest Appearances by Sam and Samantha.  They were practically guffawing into their dinner napkins over damp clueless Garrick.

You can tell they feel bad for Dannnnielle, but they speak for us all with their thought bubble:  "You gotta be kidding me with this shit."

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Honestly, if they bring this back for another season, they need to change the format and just have it be Families of those Seeking Sister Wives. The best parts are when kids/siblings/parents voice their concern/scorn/giggles/confusion/anger over what their relatives are trying to do. I want more questioning of these men about their bullshit beliefs that are just thinly veiled misogyny. 

[magemaud]

  On 7/26/2022 at 2:09 AM, Pepper Mostly said:

Wait, Mr. "I'm unemployed and sit around thinking all day" can't muster up the wherewithal to scramble a few eggs for his wimmenfolk before they head off to work to support him? 

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I have to admit that as sleevy as Marcus is, I’m impressed that he can iron a shirt and cook a dinner, two skills that Nick leaves to his harem while he expounds on high-falutin’ things like quantum physics. 

[Pepper Mostly]

  On 7/26/2022 at 2:30 AM, Auntie Anxiety said:

Brenda seems functionally depressed. She won’t admit to herself that she isn’t really into the sister wife lifestyle. She just wants a friend.

April just needs to add Brenda to her Facebook friends list and all will be well.

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Brenda can't find a friend because no decent person will have any truck with her and her tawdry melange. 

  On 7/26/2022 at 2:32 AM, sainte-chapelle said:

Sorry I guess I meant for religious purposes.  Isn’t this more polyamory ?

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Sorry, when I say "poly" I mean polyamorous. They just giggle and daintily call it "polygamy" because polyamory won't play in Peoria. Something is definitely up at Casa Nick, anyway. The two women are married to each other, everyone sleeps in the same bed, and its been heavily hinted that poor little Danielle hasn't really heard the whole story. 

  On 7/26/2022 at 5:03 AM, suev3333 said:

Yea I know.   That was cringe worthy af.     I was waiting for the big fan on a stick to come out so they could fan their king. Do they wipe his butt too? 🙄 

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And fight for the privilege. 

  On 7/26/2022 at 5:42 AM, taragel said:

Honestly, if they bring this back for another season, they need to change the format and just have it be Families of those Seeking Sister Wives. The best parts are when kids/siblings/parents voice their concern/scorn/giggles/confusion/anger over what their relatives are trying to do. I want more questioning of these men about their bullshit beliefs that are just thinly veiled misogyny. 

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Only not so thinly veiled. I'd say it was right out in the open. 

[EtheltoTillie]

That breakfast scene with Nick and the harem was outstanding.  Philosopher Nick is holding forth about abiogenesis with the word pronounced wrong!  “There’s something called homochirality that comes into play.”  is it something gay men do?  
 

 Wife says I don’t even know what that is. Does not give Nick a chance to explain as they must realize he’s just an idiot.  On to the grape feeding!  

[lamujerdecente]

  On 7/26/2022 at 2:34 AM, Pepper Mostly said:

Garrick's face! He looks like a brain damaged labradoodle.

That's just what I was thinking. April is 21 years old! She doesn't want to hang out with sad old hangdog Brenda. 

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April shouldn't want to be with Steve's elder tush at her age but I suspect its more than Steve's looks she sees. He has some coins. April and Brenda are both frumpters but sheesh ladies. Go watch some what not to wear on demand and get some tips. Surely yall can get a man who pays the bills who doesn't expect you to make a friend with his side piece. I CAN'T with these Broads. Wake up. 

I know some poly folks and all the folks get to play not just the daddies. These chicks need some cojones. They must sell something like that on etsy? Shite maybe I will start an etsy shop selling them. 

[magemaud]

  On 7/26/2022 at 2:28 PM, lamujerdecente said:

These chicks need some cojones. They must sell something like that on etsy? Shite maybe I will start an etsy shop selling them. 

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I think they’re already marketed as “strap-ons” 

[PrincessPurrsALot]

  On 7/26/2022 at 12:48 PM, EtheltoTillie said:

That breakfast scene with Nick and the harem was outstanding.  Philosopher Nick is holding forth about abiogenesis with the word pronounced wrong!  “There’s something called homochirality that comes into play.”  is it something gay men do?  
 

 Wife says I don’t even know what that is. Does not give Nick a chance to explain as they must realize he’s just an idiot.  On to the grape feeding!  

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I laughed so hard at Nick explaining what he was reading by butchering the biggest words he could find.  I can 100% guarantee he has no idea what any of it means.  

Here, Danielle, crawl right into the middle of the bed next to creepster Nick. I liked the look on wife #2's face when she realized she was pushed to the outside.  Maybe there's not enough room to pile on Nick. 

I do feel like they were joking with the feeding him grapes scene.  At the same time, ew. Just ew. 

Brenda is such a sad sack I think we know why she doesn't have any female friends.  She really sucks the joy out of the room.  Whatever the new one's name is, she really had a "sure, yeah, I'm reeeeeaaaally looking forward to spending more time with you" vibe.  She would gladly go off and boink boatboy and forget Brenda exists. 

[applewood]

  On 7/26/2022 at 2:33 AM, Auntie Anxiety said:

Brenda, get some friends/potential sister wives closer to your age so that you can feel comfortable shopping at places that aren’t Forever 21.

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That's what I thought. Maybe one reason April doesn't connect with her is that at 21 she just doesn't have much in common with a 38 year old.

As for Steve, I think she just has the hots for him. We'll see how long that lasts.

[Shelbie]

In the video call that focussed on Bert’s face I wondered if crying boy and Dannnnielle have seen a full body shot lately. Maybe Bert is pregnant and delaying coming while still getting money from the idiot who calls to cry at her.

[xwordfanatik]

So quasi-intellectual Nick is too damn lazy to even drive?  Cook for his harem?  Do anything but pontificate and screw up pronunciation of the stuff he supposedly reads?  Yeah, OK.  No wonder he always has a shit-eating grin.  

I mean, even that skeevy Marcus cooks, if nothing else.  He just can't seem to keep it in his pants.  I hope he's paying child support to the mothers of his supposed ten! kids.  

Steve, Jayden clearly doesn't have respect for you or Brenda.  Why should she?  You're always concerned with getting your rocks off.

I wonder how much $ Bert has taken Ick and Dannnnniele for.  He's such a sap.  Now he's talking about knocking Bert up in Brazil and leaving her there?  Moron.  She doesn't want his babies.  I hope she is ghosting them.

Dumpster fire all around.

[Adeejay]

Let me see if I understand this.  Brenda played a huge role in the breakup of Preston and Jayden’s family and yet, she wonders why they don’t want anything to do with her.  I don’t believe for a minute that she wants a relationship with April.  A 21-year-old and a 38-year-old don’t have much in common.  Heck, she is old enough to be her mom. 

I sense that Jennifer is Nick’s favorite.  He chose to sleep with her the first night on their trip, and he got out of the bed he was sharing with Danielle to “sleep” with her on the sofa. 

Gee, I was wondering when someone was going to bring up the possibility that Roberta might be using the Merrifields for a green card.  Dannielle’s brother is correct when he says that Garrick is all about the baby making.  Not surprised that Danni wonders if Bert might be a scammer, while Garrick thinks she is a Saint. 

[WhatsUpDummy]

  On 7/26/2022 at 2:05 AM, sainte-chapelle said:

Jayden has no reason to respect you

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And I'm sure Jayden will LOVE the fact that your new gal-pal is only 5 years older than her.  

[Endora]

  On 7/26/2022 at 11:38 AM, Pepper Mostly said:

The two women are married to each other, everyone sleeps in the same bed, and its been heavily hinted that poor little Danielle hasn't really heard the whole story. 

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Hell no she hasn’t.

 Marcus should talk to Nick, Nick would never have to iron his own shirt.  I have a hard time watching Nick and co.  I really find them repulsive. 

Okay Garrick, Bert is the type of person would give her last dollar to a person in need on the street.  She is the Brazilian Mother Theresa.  Not sure how he hasn’t been punched by someone, he is that dam annoying.   Wake up Dani!!

April couldn’t care less about Brenda, she only wants Steve, she is not looking for a mother figure too, Brenda needs to speak up and tell him April is a NO GO.  

[Pepper Mostly]

  On 7/26/2022 at 2:28 PM, lamujerdecente said:

April shouldn't want to be with Steve's elder tush at her age but I suspect its more than Steve's looks she sees. He has some coins. April and Brenda are both frumpters but sheesh ladies. Go watch some what not to wear on demand and get some tips. Surely yall can get a man who pays the bills who doesn't expect you to make a friend with his side piece. I CAN'T with these Broads. Wake up. 

I know some poly folks and all the folks get to play not just the daddies. These chicks need some cojones. They must sell something like that on etsy? Shite maybe I will start an etsy shop selling them. 

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Brenda will never, ever be the one to leave--Steve has some money and the life she wants. She's not going back to her drab life as a single woman approaching 40. She'll put up with anything. And Steve knows it. 

  On 7/26/2022 at 6:21 PM, WhatsUpDummy said:

And I'm sure Jayden will LOVE the fact that your new gal-pal is only 5 years older than her.  

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I love Jayden. She knows the score. Steve dumped her mother for that bundle of joy and happiness,Brenda. And now he wants to bring in some new strange? She probably doesn't want to bring any of her friends around her creepy dad. 

  On 7/26/2022 at 10:54 PM, Endora said:

Okay Garrick, Bert is the type of person would give her last dollar to a person in need on the street.  She is the Brazilian Mother Theresa.  Not sure how he hasn’t been punched by someone, he is that dam annoying.   Wake up Dani!!  

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I can't figure Dannnnnnielle out. She agreed to a divorce from pervert scumbag husband so he could chase Brazilian poontang. What on earth could be in it for her? She has no legal protection or status. She should at least protect her children. Idiot. 

[goofygirl]

  On 7/26/2022 at 2:23 AM, Pepper Mostly said:

"We'll have to take it slow, introducing her to some of our more exotic practices".

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Eeewwww.  Gross!

[heatherchandler]

  On 7/27/2022 at 12:33 AM, Pepper Mostly said:

Brenda will never, ever be the one to leave--Steve has some money and the life she wants.

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Uuughhh and it pains me to say, but he’s also kinda hot.

[South]

  On 7/26/2022 at 2:36 AM, Pepper Mostly said:

Bert knows how to keep Garrick on a string, hmm? "She prays that god will help her get her mother to her doctor's appointments". WTF

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Translated to English from The Portuguese: buy me a car, fuckboy.

[South]

  On 7/27/2022 at 1:40 AM, South said:

Translated to English from The Portuguese: buy me a car, fuckboy.

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That was autocorrected incorrectly.  It was supposed to be fuck wad.

[magemaud]

  On 7/26/2022 at 5:36 PM, xwordfanatik said:

 I hope he's paying child support to the mothers of his supposed ten! kids.

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Ten? Wait! I missed that little detail! Does he plan to audition all of their mothers to join his harem? 
If he wants to find women who are interested in polygamy why doesn’t he do like most of the men on this show, go to specific interest websites instead of importing old flames in the very remote chance that they want to be a sister wife? 
I don’t understand how him exposing his disgusting lifestyle on TV could ever help his political career! 

[taragel]

  On 7/26/2022 at 11:38 AM, Pepper Mostly said:

Only not so thinly veiled. I'd say it was right out in the open. 

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I don't know if that's true. Whenever someone asks "Well what if one of your wives wanted to have multiple partners?," the men don't seem to want to say out loud that it's because only their needs matter. 

[Nancybeth]

  On 7/26/2022 at 5:42 AM, taragel said:

Honestly, if they bring this back for another season, they need to change the format and just have it be Families of those Seeking Sister Wives. The best parts are when kids/siblings/parents voice their concern/scorn/giggles/confusion/anger over what their relatives are trying to do. I want more questioning of these men about their bullshit beliefs that are just thinly veiled misogyny. 

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Maybe we can get a Pillow Talk show like they have for 90DF, only it's just Sam and Samantha and Jayden and other family and friends! 

[Xena]

Ok- WHO irons their shirts by folding them in half - and then ironing?  WTF I could not even concentrate on the scene I am like WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

[Morgalisa]

All these people skeeve me out but God help me I cringe every time Nick comes on.

[Pepper Mostly]

  On 7/27/2022 at 3:13 PM, taragel said:

I don't know if that's true. Whenever someone asks "Well what if one of your wives wanted to have multiple partners?," the men don't seem to want to say out loud that it's because only their needs matter. 

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I will cheerfully bet a shiny American quarter that our Nick not infrequently wants his sister wives to "put on a show" for him. Bet he loves a little girl on girl. They are all so weird. WHY are they into him? He's a creep! 

[PrincessPurrsALot]

  On 7/29/2022 at 12:10 PM, Pepper Mostly said:

I will cheerfully bet a shiny American quarter that our Nick not infrequently wants his sister wives to "put on a show" for him. Bet he loves a little girl on girl. They are all so weird. WHY are they into him? He's a creep! 

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I am sure there is more going on there.  I have no issue with any sexual activities they engage in.  They are consenting adults.  I too don't see why Nick would be the center of this little universe.  He is so unappealing.  I feel like I need a SIlkwood shower after seeing him on my screen.  I'm pretty sure his picture is in the dictionary under skeevy. 

[Pepper Mostly]

  On 7/29/2022 at 3:44 PM, PrincessPurrsALot said:

I am sure there is more going on there.  I have no issue with any sexual activities they engage in.  They are consenting adults.  I too don't see why Nick would be the center of this little universe.  He is so unappealing.  I feel like I need a SIlkwood shower after seeing him on my screen.  I'm pretty sure his picture is in the dictionary under skeevy. 

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Sure, they can let their freak flags fly with mad abandon. But they're putting it all out there on TV and smirkingly calling it "polygamy". That rustles my jimmies. Be honest at least.