S04.E08: I'm In Love With Your Big Brain

[PrincessPurrsALot]

Quote

Brenda meets with April to help improve their communication. The Davises end their staycation with some worries. Dannielle's family shares their concerns about Roberta coming to the US. Marcus Epps prepares for a date with a new potential sister wife.

Original air date 2022.07.25

[candall]

My favorite moment was manly-man Sidian in the ocean with Arielle, proclaiming, "I'm gonna pick you up and THROW you over there!!!"

And then he can't heft her up.

So she splats down into the water in front of him.

[Pepper Mostly]

Yeah, he's a real cave man. Snerk.

[Auntie Anxiety]

Has anyone found a potential sister wife in the last week? 

For fuck’s sake, Steve. Your daughter isn’t happy with your life choices and you are going to lose her if you don’t stop being so fucking selfish. You can always find another “wife,” but you cant find another Jayden. Asshole.

Edited July 26, 2022 by Auntie Anxiety

[sainte-chapelle]

Jayden has no reason to respect you

[Pepper Mostly]

@Auntie Anxiety The only place I've been is at the dentist. Oh, and I had lunch with my lad last week. Maybe one of the bartenders at our favorite watering hole might be interested. Lots of folks is Salem have alternative lifestyles and we are a very open and accepting community. 

Edited July 26, 2022 by Pepper Mostly

[Auntie Anxiety]

Danielle makes Nick out to be a real sex machine. And he’s so proud of his “prowess.”

[Pepper Mostly]

OH MY GOD SHE RAN INTO THAT SKEEVY HORNDOG IN THE HALL AND HAD A KNEE TREMBLER. 

[Auntie Anxiety]

Nick should just shoot the talking heads with his hand all the way up into Tonya Harding’s vagina.

[Pepper Mostly]

Wifey 2 wants a wedge pillow. Nick thinks its a sex toy. 

"Why do you want a toaster? Is that for sex?" Nick, probably. 

Wait, Mr. "I'm unemployed and sit around thinking all day" can't muster up the wherewithal to scramble a few eggs for his wimmenfolk before they head off to work to support him? 

[sainte-chapelle]

Sooo…Nick is just a pig using ploughing ( typo and it stays) as an excuse to get his sex on…got it

Edited July 26, 2022 by sainte-chapelle

[Auntie Anxiety]

Nick puts in a few moments of thinking while the ladies make breakfast for their king.

[Pepper Mostly]

Oh for fucks sake now they're feeding him grapes? He must just sit around watching porn all day.

[Grifter Lives]

7 minutes ago, Auntie Anxiety said:

Nick should just shoot the talking heads with his hand all the way up into Tonya Harding’s vagina.

She's his main sex partner.  Stupid Danielle is in competition and thinks that she and Nick can be monogamous.  I'm sure he has never given that idea any thought.

Edited July 26, 2022 by Grifter Lives

[Pepper Mostly]

I want to slap that shit eating grin right off his smug face. Maybe with a bunch of grapes. Or a wedge pillow.

[Maybeitsme]

Nasty Nick and his lusty ladies, GROSS

[Pepper Mostly]

Up next, Twisting the Knife with Dannnnnnielle. 

Oh, poor Bert managed to muster up a little fakety fake cough. I'm convinced. 

[Grifter Lives]

Derrick shrinks each week.  It was especially noticeable as he passed the refrigerator, and it's always obvious when they're at the counter.  Even though their house is custom-built - by them - counter-height for them is closer to chest-level than waist-level.

[Auntie Anxiety]

What are the odds that Ick and Dannnniellllle ever figure out that they could have spent all this time learning Portuguese? Oh, never mind.

[sainte-chapelle]

3 minutes ago, Pepper Mostly said:

Up next, Twisting the Knife with Dannnnnnielle. 

Oh, poor Bert managed to muster up a little fakety fake cough. I'm convinced. 

Why is she wearing a mask?  What is the Danî and her under boob top. What is happening here?

Edited July 26, 2022 by sainte-chapelle

[Auntie Anxiety]

Garrick sobbing again? Does he have low testosterone or some such shit?

[Pepper Mostly]

And damp weepy Garrick is sniveling again. 

[Grifter Lives]

Just now, Auntie Anxiety said:

What are the odds that Ick and Dannnniellllle ever figure out that they could have spent all this time learning Portuguese? Oh, never mind.

Dannniellle ponders, "I wonder why it's so hard to communicate sometimes."  Well, maybe it's the translator app, and the subtitles that say, "Spanish."

[Pepper Mostly]

What is wrong with these women? "I love your big brain"?? "I'll drive because I don't think you should have to"?? 

[Grifter Lives]

Is that a big bottle of body lotion in a plastic bag on the side of Danielle's backpack?  Gross.

[Auntie Anxiety]

Nick thought about it (heh) and believes the weekend was successful because he got laid numerous times. He’s insatiable, you know what I mean?🤮

[Pepper Mostly]

"We'll have to take it slow, introducing her to some of our more exotic practices".

[Auntie Anxiety]

1 minute ago, Pepper Mostly said:

"We'll have to take it slow, introducing her to some of our more exotic practices".

🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮

[sainte-chapelle]

Are any  of these people real polygamists? I think Kermit and Co were the on,y authentic family.

[Pepper Mostly]

Oh I think they're all poly. Except maybe Garrick and Dannnnnnnnielle and Bert. They're just delusional twits.I still can't believe that Danielle's parents are on board with this crackerjacks notion.

"Just her and I". Kill me now. 

[South]

18 minutes ago, Pepper Mostly said:

Oh for fucks sake now they're feeding him grapes? He must just sit around watching porn all day.

Decades-old porn

[Pepper Mostly]

This silly bint is 21?? Oh sweet tap-dancing Jesus. 

[Auntie Anxiety]

Brenda seems functionally depressed. She won’t admit to herself that she isn’t really into the sister wife lifestyle. She just wants a friend.

April just needs to add Brenda to her Facebook friends list and all will be well.

[Grifter Lives]

Did this 21-year old April nearly double in weight since their date?  

[Pepper Mostly]

Brenda's such a sad sack. 

April looks like she's been taking knife twisting lessons from Dannnnnnielle. That faux concern! "I feel so bad when I talk to Steve about something that only he and I know about". 

[sainte-chapelle]

2 minutes ago, Pepper Mostly said:

Oh I think they're all poly. Except maybe Garrick and Dannnnnnnnielle and Bert. They're just delusional twits.I still can't believe that Danielle's parents are on board with this crackerjacks notion.

"Just her and I". Kill me now. 

Sorry I guess I meant for religious purposes.  Isn’t this more polyamory ?

[Auntie Anxiety]

Brenda, get some friends/potential sister wives closer to your age so that you can feel comfortable shopping at places that aren’t Forever 21.

[Pepper Mostly]

Garrick's face! He looks like a brain damaged labradoodle.

1 minute ago, Auntie Anxiety said:

Brenda, get some friends/potential sister wives closer to your age so that you can feel comfortable shopping at places that aren’t Forever 21.

That's just what I was thinking. April is 21 years old! She doesn't want to hang out with sad old hangdog Brenda. 

[sainte-chapelle]

Of course Bert doesn’t want another sister wife. Her plan is to be top bitch and have Garrick to herself.

[Auntie Anxiety]

Garrick and Dannnniellllle are tap dancing like crazy, trying to make it seem like they know what the hell they are doing.

[Grifter Lives]

Diabetes and blood pressure are chronic conditions.  Berta is like Penelope in the Odyssey, ever weaving that loom.

[Pepper Mostly]

Bert knows how to keep Garrick on a string, hmm? "She prays that god will help her get her mother to her doctor's appointments". WTF

[sainte-chapelle]

Just now, Auntie Anxiety said:

Garrick and Dannnniellllle are tap dancing like crazy, trying to make it seem like they know what the hell they are doing.

Dani looks tired and ragged. She has aged 5 years since last season.

[Auntie Anxiety]

“Who will take care of the baby?” All heads turn to Dannnnielllllle.

[Pepper Mostly]

Look at Samantha. Face like a fist. 

Silly Sam. Your parents are going to be free childcare so Bert and Garrick can bang unhindered. 

Oh Garrick. Yes, you are such a worldly, sophisticated gentleman. You would never be taken in and led around by your tingly bits. Never happen. He's already divorced his wife of long standing, the mother of his children, to make room for Bert. She's no dummy.

[Auntie Anxiety]

Wee Marcus is pimping primping for his next potential victim.

[Pepper Mostly]

He has to fly women in because no one local will go out with his skeevy ass. 

[sainte-chapelle]

Why would you fly someone in without telling them about your lifestyle ?

[Pepper Mostly]

Why is it taking him 20 minutes to press a polo shirt?

[sainte-chapelle]

1 minute ago, Pepper Mostly said:

Why is it taking him 20 minutes to press a polo shirt?

Is he related to Jibri or Bilal ?

Edited July 26, 2022 by sainte-chapelle