S14.E12: Settling In, Or Just Settling?

[buttersister]

24 minutes ago, Gator Stud said:

People want to do other things besides slave for an asshole boss and miss their kids' birthdays and soccer games.

You betcha. You know what else Steve might consider? If he was more into adulting (is that what the kids call it?)? A conversation with his wife on his feelings about the hamster wheel, how he socked away $XXXX waiting for his layoff (you can usually smell those coming), and the kind of vision he has for his/their future. He doesn't need every detail worked out right now. But based on Noi's behavior (and I'm not a fan), he hasn't shared squat--other than "don't worry 'bout it, sweetheart" and his dad's word "vagabond" is likely still ringing in her ears. 

[Gator Stud]

9 minutes ago, Yeah No said:

Speaking of "old school thinking", this is about as old school as it gets.  Most modern women I know would consider this very male chauvinist pre-1960s thinking coming from their spouse.  And if that's how Steve really feels, I don't blame Noi one bit for not liking it.  Because he pays the bills it's OK for him to sit on his ass while she does all the housework AND works in a job full time?  I'd tell my husband to GTFO.

I do think Steve should help around the house, just not have to do everything.  I did dishes this morning, for the record. 

[Racj82]

It doesn't matter which gender. If one is home and one at work., the one at home should be doing most of the chores. But, that doesn't mean that the one who works can't and shouldn't contribute to some of the household chores.

I also think Noi is passive aggressive as fuck and only doesn't want to chip in because she resents the fact that he's not working.

But, as I've been saying this whole time, Steve needs to have a plan and lay it out. Noi wants some stability. Steve's don't worry I got this approach won't cut it.

[Meowwww]

I’m getting the sneaking suspicion that Mark truly is an asshole off camera. He’s showing some rigid, angry glimpses of himself. His anger plus Lindsey’s habit of attacking with mean, abusive words…this season can’t be done soon enough. 
 

Speaking of….this was another “filler” episode.  We still have the couples retreat, doesn’t that usually go 2 episodes?  Ugh. 

I’m always reading about people saying they FF through scenes.  I never have done that. Welp, I just did.  Michael and Jasmina are so dull and dry and boring and have no joy that I can’t even watch them.  FF it is. Jasmina must have always lived near public transportation to not need to drive.  I have never lived near public transportation in all the states I’ve lived in, so it seems foreign yet makes sense at the same time. 

Steve with his need to sleep in, nap, dream….and Noi wanting her own apartment.  Ugh. Just be done already. 

O is a bloviating jerk and the new tattoo is ugly.  Katina just keeps forgiving him. Blah. 
 

 

[Shauna]

15 hours ago, Mindthinkr said:

I politely disagree. I was a nurse and rarely got to sit down. 
 

I see that you prefaced employment with the word “much”. I may have reacted too fast. I agree with you that it depends on the kind of work you preform. I still think the non-working partner needs to do most of the chores. Last thing people want to do when getting home from work is start in on more work. 

I'd be PISSED if my spouse sat home doing nothing all day while I worked and expected me to help clean the house. No fucking way.  *What are you doing all day long*?????????  Not working, so, guess what?  YOU get to do everything.  You don't want to do everything? THEN GET A JOB. 

[Retired at last]

I agree that this was another filler episode with absolutely nothing new. Steve did tell Mark that he has a healthy savings account, but if he hasn't shared that with Noi, then there is a problem. Maybe he is afraid she would post that on one of her many SM complaints about him. I don't blame him. I like her less and less each week. She is way too immature to be in a relationship and she isn't going to change. So, she wants to say yes on D Day and then get her own apartment so they can. date? LOL - isn't that what was suggested last season (and I completely erased the memory of their names), as a way to just kind of escape from the relationship? I am totally on Steve's side. She cannot compromise and is a truly passive-aggressive person. Steve can and should be able to find a much better partner.

I am so tired of the Lindsey/Mark roller coaster and her saying that he crossed a boundary and she is over and out every single week and then comes back. He can't even talk to her when he does try, because she is already too mad at him. Awful, awful couple, and not fun to watch.

Couldn't care less about anything having to do with O and I think Katina seems not too bright to me. Why she accepts his abusive language and behaviors makes me angry. Although, I would have to say that I am surprised that they haven't had sex yet. Good for her.

Michael and JasMEANa are also boring. I haven't liked her and her attitude3 of superiority at all. She was sure to remind us that she is not attracted to him.

Can this season be over, please and can we never see any of these people again? Thank you.

 

Edited April 1, 2022 by Retired at last

[Lindz]

Noi was bad this episode: told her husband to KHA, said she wanted to live separately after DD & did NOT explain why, & a cryptic post on SM & did NOT explain what it was about. I don't believe it wasn't about Steve. She's so immature, I can't! Steve was iffy too. She should tell him a plan & do chores? Nah! Again. They're both problematic. They could resolve everything if they really talk it through & decide on what to do. They're not working together. It's sad.

[Shauna]

14 hours ago, Katie111 said:

Lindsay’s dress (or nightgown?) is horrible.  She wears very ill fitting clothes.  And then she pairs it in with Adidas slides and then adds a trench coat.  Whaaattt??

She needs a bra fitting in the worst way possible.

[Chloecat]

55 minutes ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

What do they do?  At first I was picturing combing the world for circus performers or the like, but now I'm wondering if it's just another word for headhunter?

Too funny, talent acquisition is recruiting, I think she is a coordinator so she is in more of an admin role not really headhunting.

[Lindz]

How AWKWARD was that photoshoot??? Poor photographer! The wife was MIA! & that long pause when she asked if they wanted pics of just them? YIKES! I doubt if Mark would've told her he's uncomfortable with her touching him while they're talking she would've reacted differently. Lindsey needs to say less & Mark needs to say more.

[Ilovepie]

Welp, judging by these comments, I don't think I need to watch this one either. Was there anything of value this episode, or just lather, rinse, repeat of the same garbage? I'm getting to the point of writing off this season as a loss......

Edited March 31, 2022 by Ilovepie

[NoWhammies]

My hot takes:

Olaj is a man baby. I can't imagine Katina putting up with that long-term. He projects his shit onto Katina; if he had a dating app on his phone, you could be damn sure he'd be using it, so he imagines Katina must be the same. I don't prefer neck tattoo, but it's his body so whatevs.

Mark may be unsophisticated in his tastes, but he seems like a decent guy. But he's not the guy for Lindsey, who has some huge anger and abandonment issues that make her reactive and quick to take offense. Lindsey isn't in a place for a relationship; she needs to get some help and work through some of that. I suspect she has a good heart that she protects by being prickly and rash. 

If, as Steve says, he has plenty of savings and is contributing the lion's share financially to their household--and he can sustain that for a period or has a plan when he no longer can--then what's wrong with him not having a job? The judgment about that surprises me...he's supporting himself, so why would it matter to anyone what he does with his time? There may even be some type of passive income coming in, such as residual commission from sales, commissions from renewals, interest from investments, etc. And although Noi is working, she makes part of the mess, wears the clothes that needs washing, pees in the toilets that need scrubbing, eats the food that needs preparing on the dishes that need doing. Of course she should be expected to contribute in some way to household chores.

Jasmina seems to have friend-zoned Michael and appears unwilling to open up to the possibility of it being more. Friendship can and does grow into sustainable romantic love. Fifty years from now, you may not be tossing each other around in the sack nearly as much, but if you can still laugh together and trust one another, then that's worth its weight in gold. 

Edited March 31, 2022 by NoWhammies

[Crashcourse]

5 hours ago, Gator Stud said:

I know someone in their 50s who has never driven.  He lived in NYC, The Bay, and now LA, so it was easy for him not to drive.  A car accident freaked him out as a kid.

And Jasmina said something about being in a car accident, so I can understand her reluctance about driving.

[Emma Snyder]

Let's make a deal. When "The Many Evils of Corporate America & Being Chained to a Cubicle" is discussed on the show, discuss it here to your heart's content. But for now? Stop. Posts have been removed.

[kristen111]

18 hours ago, Mindthinkr said:

Who names their child after a hot sauce? Sriracha 

LMAO !

[kristen111]

19 hours ago, LennieBriscoe said:

Totally disagree. Housework and cooking (and the shopping for groceries) are physical tasks, tiring, exhausting---reaching, pushing (vacuum), bending, ascending and descending stairs; whereas much employment comprises sedentary tasks. 

But be that as it all may, or not, Noi simply will not be happy with Steve if he remains unemployed, and content with that. (He isn't self-employed, either.) 

Throw in two or three kids and it’s a 24 hr job.  It’s easier to go to work for eight hours, than staying home and doing everything, like some women do.

[kristen111]

18 hours ago, CSunshine76 said:

What was that outfit?! I was questioning it in every preview I saw. And the episode still didn’t answer my questions.  It looked like a little girl was playing dress up in her mom’s nighty. Or prom dress? No idea what it is!

It’s her usual getup when she says she’s done, then storms out.  Slide shoes, a cheap nightgown to the ankle, trench coat.

[Jodyj]

Noe and Steve - I have a feeling that Noe wants to be a stay at home mom and she feels she can't do that if Steve doesn't have a full time job. Has she actually sat down with him and said ok show me your money. How much do you have? How much do you make on an average side job you like doing? How often can you do side jobs? Maybe that would calm her down. BUT honestly I am totally not feeling her right now. She seems like she is not mature enough to be married. Who thinks that keeping your apartment instead of living with your husband is a good idea? Not only is that not cost effective but it sure in the heck is not going to do your marriage good. She is acting a bit spoiled but so is he. I work from home. Would I love for my partner to do everything because of that? Probably. But I am an adult and this is OUR house so we should share some tasks. Getting up to put the laundry in or fold it while working form home is completely doable. So is straightening up a bit. So is walking your own dog so it can go to the bathroom.  She is being a bit lazy.

 

Lindsay and Mark - Weirdly I think this marriage could work if they went to a counselor and learned how to freaking talk to each other like normal people. Both of them want a marriage but Mark is afraid to talk to Lindsay because she instantly blows up and Lindsay thinks he is not into her or the marriage because he is not open enough. And instead of working together they are taking jabs constantly at each other. I think not only should they do couples counseling they should do individual counseling. I think they could be a power couple if they did. But they won't make it because the experts seem to be taking a break and not trying to help any of the couples this year. That is two bad. I think these two people actually need each other to be whole. 

 

Olajuwon and Katina - WTF dude. Seriously. Now I can't say I wouldn't have been pissed off to find a dating site on my husbands phone. But could it not have been handled by just looking to see when she was last on there? Can't you do that? And she really should have scoured her phone before she married. He is going to look back at this when she is long gone and realize what he had and what he let his ego let go. The perfect woman does not exist but this woman might just have been 90% perfect for you. That doesn't happen to often. To bad he is erratic and a bit of a ass. 

 

Michael and Jasmina - She hasn't really ever given him a chance. She shoved that guard up so fast and made up her mind on what type of person he is that he really couldn't ever get past that in her mind. This is another couple I think could be good for each other but won't happen because she is not going to let it. I wonder if she realizes the lack of spark is due to her. One or the other should just kiss the other one to settle once and for all if there is nothing there. Hell maybe a kiss would light some kindling. It won't happen because Michael is walking on egg shells with her. Trying to show her he is good enough. I would love to actually see her make a effort just once. A real effort not a half ass one. 

 

General stuff - Why don't they have them talk to people who really matter. For example, why didn't Lindsey talk to her dad? Why do they keep having them talk to random people whose opinions they can just blow off. 

Where are the judges? It seems like in years past they were more involved. Now it seems like there is so much they could actually be doing to help but they are doing nothing. It is like they want them to fail. I get that that is "good tv" but so is great couples staying together. Everyone doesn't need to be a train wreck. The judges should see what is going wrong with couples and give them fun activities to do to promote what ever is broken. Communication, Physical touch, compromise. It is a bummer that is not happening. 

[kristen111]

18 hours ago, Vanderboom said:

 . . . So Lindsey's annoyed that Mark wants her to participate in the cat photo shoot that was her idea and she arranged? I don't understand.

Speaking of .. if they are on a budget, why not spend on food instead of a photographer to take cat pictures?  Family pictures to bat.  Like they will be together, lol.  Those cats don’t move.  Are they tranquilized?  Hope not.

[Jodyj]

Devils advocate about Noe and Steve. (Probably not real, but hey fun chat right?)

What if Steve does have a ton of money? Like a boat load and he doesn't want to share that with Noe until he is sure she likes him for him.  Because maybe her tune would completely change if she knew he could financially take care of them without issue.

Maybe him wanting a plan before deciding to work is him wanting a time line of what is going to happen.

Is Noe going to quit her job the instant she gets pregnant? Is that what she expects? Has she told him that? Do they want to buy a house then have kids? Or try to do both at the same time? All of those things might tell him how soon he should be looking to trap himself in a job. Because let's be freaking real here. 98% of us who work are working for a paycheck not because we want to.

So if he has enough money to live for let's say 6 months prior to actually needing a job or if freelancing gives him enough money to cover all bills and put money away for the future, why wouldn't he do that?

(I just like fun conversations about both sides of the coin. This isn't for drama just fun talk)

[Yeah No]

5 hours ago, Meowwww said:

I’m getting the sneaking suspicion that Mark truly is an asshole off camera. He’s showing some rigid, angry glimpses of himself. His anger plus Lindsey’s habit of attacking with mean, abusive words…this season can’t be done soon enough. 

I agree.  Mark is acting like a toddler that just learned the power of saying "no" an does so about everything.  He has very little flexibility with certain things, especially when it comes to being in a romantic relationship.  He needs to stay in his comfort zone at all times and will resist and shut down whenever a situation presents itself where he might try being more flexible and open to new things.  He doesn't just act that way about food, but his rigidity about food symbolizes the greater problem with him.  Of course they go and pair him with a person that will press all his buttons and keep trying to change him, then get snotty and side swipe him every chance she gets, only making him shut down all the more.  Yikes, a match made in hell!

[Yeah No]

4 hours ago, Retired at last said:

I agree that this was another filler episode with absolutely nothing new. Steve did tell Mark that he has a healthy savings account, but if he hasn't shared that with Noi, then there is a problem.

I know, I don't get why he isn't telling her.  He is being very vague about it and can't he see how that's only going to make her not trust him?  Someone else said maybe it's that he wants to be sure she really loves him for him and not his bank account before he tells her, but I don't get why he doesn't trust her about that yet if so.  She is already saying she loves him, talking about kids etc., without even knowing his financial situation so I would think she has already passed the test.  

What I don't get about Noi is that it's obvious that she's talking about living separately from him now because she doesn't trust him over not telling her about how much he has saved, but she didn't share that with him and he acted clueless with his friend about why she would suggest living apart.  Are the two of them clueless, dense and unable to communicate?  I think the answer is "YES" and that may also be a clue as to why they had to go on this show to find a relationship.

[mythoughtis]

20 hours ago, LennieBriscoe said:

Totally disagree. Housework and cooking (and the shopping for groceries) are physical tasks, tiring, exhausting---reaching, pushing (vacuum), bending, ascending and descending stairs; whereas much employment comprises sedentary tasks. 

But be that as it all may, or not, Noi simply will not be happy with Steve if he remains unemployed, and content with that. (He isn't self-employed, either.) 

To me it’s not about what type of work the working person is doing.  It’s about the fact that they are working 40 hours a week.  Add commute time for those not working from home.  What is the non-working spouse doing during that same time?  If they have kids, then yes, they spend  a large  portion of that time doing kid responsibilities.  Steve doesn’t have kids.  They live in an apartment - no yard or outside chores,m - why shouldn’t he devote a couple or three hours a day to housework and meals? If he did that, there would he nothing left for Noi to do except after dinner dishes( if he cooks) and pick up after herself? Why should she spend her evening doing housework because he didn’t want to spend the morning doing it? 

[Jax7917]

13 minutes ago, Yeah No said:

I know, I don't get why he isn't telling her.  He is being very vague about it and can't he see how that's only going to make her not trust him?  Someone else said maybe it's that he wants to be sure she really loves him for him and not his bank account before he tells her, but I don't get why he doesn't trust her about that yet if so.  She is already saying she loves him, talking about kids etc., without even knowing his financial situation so I would think she has already passed the test.  

What I don't get about Noi is that it's obvious that she's talking about living separately from him now because she doesn't trust him over not telling her about how much he has saved, but she didn't share that with him and he acted clueless with his friend about why she would suggest living apart.  Are the two of them clueless, dense and unable to communicate?  I think the answer is "YES" and that may also be a clue as to why they had to go on this show to find a relationship.

I don’t think Noi is concerned that Steve doesn’t have savings . You can have a great amount of savings but if you have no income coming in , your savings isn’t going to last forever . Look at the world we live in . Everything is so expensive . You need to have money coming in and it’s not fair to put that all on Noi . She wouldn’t be mad if he worked just a couple days a week but to just sit home every single day and wake up late while your spouse is working all day wouldn’t be ok with me either . If they had kids it would be one thing to justify  him being a SAHD . But they have no kids and he just stays home without any purpose every day . I also don’t get why he keeps asking her what the plan is . If he’s not working , what does he want to do ? He keeps saying he wants to do something creative but then why isn’t he saying what he wants to do . My opinion is he wants to live off couples cam .

[endure]

OMG sorry I haven't read any comments yet but I find Noy so ANNOYING and she is so one sided and honestly I hope Steve doesn't stay with her.  Her spilling all their personal stuff to her sister and on TV is just uncalled for, the same way she puts comments on social media, she acts like a spoiled child and is not quite ready for marriage.  I guess she is worried about him not working but does she know his financial situation or goals, she doesn't seem to.  He buys her dog a lot of cute clothes so he must have spending money.           oops..... I thought her brother was now a sister but maybe not, I'm confused!

Edited April 1, 2022 by endure
edited for gender confusion!

[mythoughtis]

Lindsay… do your own laundry and learn how to disagree in a inside voice rather than yelling and cussing.  I can’t imagine being  a co-worker of hers or a store clerk where she shops. 

[kristen111]

1 hour ago, Jax7917 said:

I don’t think Noi is concerned that Steve doesn’t have savings . You can have a great amount of savings but if you have no income coming in , your savings isn’t going to last forever . Look at the world we live in . Everything is so expensive . You need to have money coming in and it’s not fair to put that all on Noi . She wouldn’t be mad if he worked just a couple days a week but to just sit home every single day and wake up late while your spouse is working all day wouldn’t be ok with me either . If they had kids it would be one thing to justify  him being a SAHD . But they have no kids and he just stays home without any purpose every day . I also don’t get why he keeps asking her what the plan is . If he’s not working , what does he want to do ? He keeps saying he wants to do something creative but then why isn’t he saying what he wants to do . My opinion is he wants to live off couples cam .

My question is, why did the experts match him at all if he said he doesn’t work?  Maybe the experts know more than we do.  Maybe he received a very large inheritance.  Maybe a lot of things Noi doesn’t know about.

[Retired at last]

I still think the reason AnNOIng doesn't know how much he has (if that is true) is that he does not trust her not to blab it on SM and to anyone who will listen. She is a petulant, pouty child and is not ready to be a wife, much less a mother. 

ETA - because I did like her at the beginning (except for saying that everything is cute), and now don't like her at all, it seems harsher to me. I never liked any of the other women, so the fact that I still don't is not a big deal.

Edited April 1, 2022 by Retired at last

[mythoughtis]

Lindsay again.  Mark tries to have an honest discussion about his feelings three weeks before decision day - he didn’t say one word about her faults/ and she immediately starts listing  everything he has done wrong and that she doesn’t think he’s apologized for.  I guess she thinks offense is the best proactive play here.

Plus she doesn’t lightly put her hand on his arm… she grabs at him.  Not everyone likes to be man-handled.  He obviously doesn’t 

Edited April 1, 2022 by mythoughtis

[Retired at last]

I think Mark is afraid of Lindsey. He won't ever hurt her, but she can probably really pack a punch when she gets riled up. He is so frustrated when he TRIES to talk, but she keeps talking and shutting him down and then she gets mad, declares she is done, and leaves. What is he supposed to do? Even if they do meet with an "expert," they don't listen to any advice or suggestions. I think they are both pretty inflexible, although they both claim to be trying. I say GIVE IT UP and go enjoy the rest of your life.

 

[Starlight925]

4 hours ago, Jax7917 said:

I don’t think Noi is concerned that Steve doesn’t have savings . You can have a great amount of savings but if you have no income coming in , your savings isn’t going to last forever . Look at the world we live in . Everything is so expensive . You need to have money coming in and it’s not fair to put that all on Noi . She wouldn’t be mad if he worked just a couple days a week but to just sit home every single day and wake up late while your spouse is working all day wouldn’t be ok with me either . If they had kids it would be one thing to justify  him being a SAHD . But they have no kids and he just stays home without any purpose every day . I also don’t get why he keeps asking her what the plan is . If he’s not working , what does he want to do ? He keeps saying he wants to do something creative but then why isn’t he saying what he wants to do . My opinion is he wants to live off couples cam .

Bolded:  Bingo.  I, too, believe that Steve's "creative interests" equate to living off MAFS notoriety, IG shilling, etc.

I think Noi isn't as much concerned about how much money Steve has/doesn't have, but in the lifestyle they live.  Where they both go to work every day, come home, talk about their work, walk Sushi, go out for Sushi, and hang out with Sriracha.  

When she sees him napping and listing all his tiny apartment cleaning accomplishments, it's like they're not on the same page.

I get it.  I dated a guy who traded stocks all day, and made a nice living.  But we had so little in common, as at that time in my life, I was working hard, dealing with things at work, making work friends, etc.  His day consisted of coffee, trading, and solo walks in the park.  Lovely, but it just made him....boring to me, as we had nothing to talk about, where our day was concerned.  He said that he missed the camaraderie at work, the challenge, the projects.  I think that's the piece that's missing for Noi.

 

Edited April 1, 2022 by Starlight925

[ChiCricket]

9 hours ago, Retired at last said:

Steve did tell Mark that he has a healthy savings account, but if he hasn't shared that with Noi, then there is a problem

They've known each other for just a month or so.. maybe he wants to make sure she's not just staying with him for the money he has (or doesn't.. who knows!) 😂 

[Alexander Pope]

I haven't read what's come before but did anyone else notice that Lindsey's skirt at the photoshoot with the cats is soaking wet?? I mean the tacky royal blue long dress she was wearing. What is going on??

Edited April 1, 2022 by Alexander Pope

[mythoughtis]

20 minutes ago, Alexander Pope said:

I haven't read what's come before but did anyone else notice that Lindsey's skirt at the photoshoot with the cats is soaking wet?? I mean the tacky royal blue long dress she was wearing. What is going on??

Was that when she came back from being gone?  Maybe it had been  raining or she had gone up to the rooftop and spilled a drink? 

[Alexander Pope]

13 hours ago, Gator Stud said:

I agree that Steve should step up at the house if he is not working, but Steve should not have to do every chore by himself. Maybe he doesn't want Noi blabbing how much he is worth to the girls and America. Steve is taking a hard stance against Corporate America.  He wont be forced back into that.  He probably had more fun and inspiration living in his car for months than being chained to his cubicle then fired when the company needed more profit. 

I found it interesting when Noi told Siracha that she does MOST of the chores/housework.  Based on what we have seen, that doesn't seem to be true.  And Steve is certainly convinced he does more.  We seem to be at an impasse here.

22 minutes ago, mythoughtis said:

Was that when she came back from being gone?  Maybe it had been  raining or she had gone up to the rooftop and spilled a drink? 

yes that was what I meant--it was baffling.

[Yeah No]

5 hours ago, Jax7917 said:

I don’t think Noi is concerned that Steve doesn’t have savings . You can have a great amount of savings but if you have no income coming in , your savings isn’t going to last forever . Look at the world we live in . Everything is so expensive . You need to have money coming in and it’s not fair to put that all on Noi . She wouldn’t be mad if he worked just a couple days a week but to just sit home every single day and wake up late while your spouse is working all day wouldn’t be ok with me either . If they had kids it would be one thing to justify  him being a SAHD . But they have no kids and he just stays home without any purpose every day . I also don’t get why he keeps asking her what the plan is . If he’s not working , what does he want to do ? He keeps saying he wants to do something creative but then why isn’t he saying what he wants to do . My opinion is he wants to live off couples cam .

Sure, it's not all about the savings, I also talked about the income issue in other posts because Steve for sure doesn't have enough money to live off for the rest of their lives.  But if you want to know more about what Noi's "bottom line" would be  regarding how much savings Steve would have to have for her to be OK with him not working for a while, watch the Afterparty or look at the thread on this week's episode.

[Yeah No]

3 hours ago, mythoughtis said:

Lindsay again.  Mark tries to have an honest discussion about his feelings three weeks before decision day - he didn’t say one word about her faults/ and she immediately starts listing  everything he has done wrong and that she doesn’t think he’s apologized for.  I guess she thinks offense is the best proactive play here.

Plus she doesn’t lightly put her hand on his arm… she grabs at him.  Not everyone likes to be man-handled.  He obviously doesn’t 

Lindsey is unwilling to let go of an issue that Mark even admitted to the camera might be somewhat legitimate.  She keeps hammering away at him thinking that's going to get him to give her what she thinks she has given him herself.  She thinks she has admitted her faults to him but that he hasn't admitted his back.  That may actually be true, but the way she keeps after him is not going to get him to do it, it's only going to make him shut down all the more and resist every attempt she makes.  She needs to back down and stop trying to force it out of him and he needs to grow up and stop being so delicate that he needs to be handled with kid gloves.  If they could meet somewhere in the middle they might have a shot at overcoming this, but I'm not going to hold my breath that they can achieve it.

On the other hand, I am seriously impressed at the way Michael and Jasmina have emerged from their death spiral and are actually having fun with each other.  Jasmina's disposition and energy have completely changed.  The fact that Michael has actually admitted that he was formerly not doing all he could to make things work between them seems to have gone a long way toward opening Jasmina up to him.  I am still not that optimistic about this couple, though, and feel they are on shaky ground because she still isn't feeling romantic toward him.  But baby steps....  And if Mark could indulge Lindsey the same way by admitting whatever it is that Lindsey needs him to admit that might also go a long way toward mending things between them.  Sometimes you have to swallow your pride or whatever stubbornness you have that's keeping you from giving your partner what they need to hear from you in order to save a relationship.  It's the only way sometimes.  Digging your heels in usually only makes things worse.

[mythoughtis]

26 minutes ago, Yeah No said:

Lindsey is unwilling to let go of an issue that Mark even admitted to the camera might be somewhat legitimate.  She keeps hammering away at him thinking that's going to get him to give her what she thinks she has given him herself.  She thinks she has admitted her faults to him but that he hasn't admitted his back.  That may actually be true, but the way she keeps after him is not going to get him to do it, it's only going to make him shut down all the more and resist every attempt she makes.  She needs to back down and stop trying to force it out of him and he needs to grow up and stop being so delicate that he needs to be handled with kid gloves.  If they could meet somewhere in the middle they might have a shot at overcoming this, but I'm not going to hold my breath that they can achieve it.

On the other hand, I am seriously impressed at the way Michael and Jasmina have emerged from their death spiral and are actually having fun with each other.  Jasmina's disposition and energy have completely changed.  The fact that Michael has actually admitted that he was formerly not doing all he could to make things work between them seems to have gone a long way toward opening Jasmina up to him.  I am still not that optimistic about this couple, though, and feel they are on shaky ground because she still isn't feeling romantic toward him.  But baby steps....  And if Mark could indulge Lindsey the same way by admitting whatever it is that Lindsey needs him to admit that might also go a long way toward mending things between them.  Sometimes you have to swallow your pride or whatever stubbornness you have that's keeping you from giving your partner what they need to hear from you in order to save a relationship.  It's the only way sometimes.  Digging your heels in usually only makes things worse.

The Michael - Jasmina change surprised me. I will admit that I haven’t been following them all closely, so I didn’t see that Michael wasn’t trying. But he did see it, admitted to it and they are getting along. But I’m not surprised that she doesn’t have feelings yet.  Truthfully, it takes time to go from 0 to 60. 

In my opinion, Mark and Lindsay aren’t over going to work.  He is the kind of person that is content to live in the same neighborhood he’s always lived, eating the same meal every week, doing the same weekly hobbies, working a job that pays enough to get by, never stepping out of his comfort zone - just your average small town guy who happens to live in a big city,  maybe even has a touch of Asperger’s?   
She wants to travel, try new and exotic foods - and lots of alcohol.  She’s brash, loud, vindictive and thinks Mark is of a lower socioeconomic and educational class than her.  She can’t fathom that he doesn’t know that her expensive clothing can’t go in the dryer  or many of the other numerous things she knows that he doesn’t.    That’s not going to change and she  won’t admit or be ok with the fact that she may always  be the major breadwinner, etc. 

Edited April 1, 2022 by mythoughtis

[endure]

3 hours ago, mythoughtis said:

Lindsay again.  Mark tries to have an honest discussion about his feelings three weeks before decision day - he didn’t say one word about her faults/ and she immediately starts listing  everything he has done wrong and that she doesn’t think he’s apologized for.  I guess she thinks offense is the best proactive play here.

Plus she doesn’t lightly put her hand on his arm… she grabs at him.  Not everyone likes to be man-handled.  He obviously doesn’t 

I agree Lindsey is not at all nice most of the time but she is dealing with a spoiled set in his ways stubborn guy too, they are both people with serious issues, maybe could have worked but def not.  They're both too odd and set in their ways to be compatible.

[OlderThanDirt]

Lindsay's idea of communication would be for Mark to ask her what he should do and then follow her instructions to the letter.  She doesn't listen before she goes from zero to sixty. They have very little in common with each other, but a lot in common with Jake and Hailey from Atlanta. 

 

[Lindz]

Michael's hairy shoulders were grossing me out while Kat was talking about what happened.  😬

[Lindz]

Lindsey looked like a mother trying to negotiate with her child to get him to try something at that pre-photoshoot dinner. So cringe! Another instance of her sMOTHERing Mark. Oy

[Lindz]

What was that Mark/Lindsey argument on the security cams? Lindsey complained about him treating the cats better than her? Mark said he "gives her sex." WHAT?!! Ew!! Um. No & NOT the point! How has Lindsey not learned by now that complaining & nagging doesn't work? That should be basic knowledge.

[Booger666]

12 hours ago, mythoughtis said:

Lindsay… do your own laundry and learn how to disagree in a inside voice rather than yelling and cussing.  I can’t imagine being  a co-worker of hers or a store clerk where she shops. 

What I heard is that there was a problem with the laundry before so Mark suggested they have separate baskets that they could put their special care items in and that they weren’t supposed to touch items in those baskets.  Then Mark goes and gets those items out of Lindseys basket, washes them and damages them.  

Mark and Lindsey are such a bad mis-match its crazy. If production asked her what her ideal day is she would say “traveling abroad and trying exotic foods”.  If they asked Mark about it he would say “staying at home, but if I have to travel can I bring a suitcase of goldfish?”.  They see things they like about each other, but are going to constantly bump heads because they are completely different and neither has any desire to change.

Still hate Olajuwon.  Katina saying she learned she needs to be patient when he has his temper tantrums and goes off on her is so disturbing.  It’s only 4 weeks but she’s learned she needs to walk on eggshells around him.  It’s very sad to watch her thinking it’s on her to put up with his toxic and abusive behavior.  Kind of wish Steve was matched with Katina, they could go out to eat all the time like she prefers, he can do the groceries while she works, they would have calm conversations and make beautiful babies.

[Shauna]

15 hours ago, kristen111 said:

It’s her usual getup when she says she’s done, then storms out.  Slide shoes, a cheap nightgown to the ankle, trench coat.

But when she returned from wherever, the bottom of the nightgown (if that's what it was) was all wet.  Why aren't we talking about that??????

[Shauna]

9 hours ago, mythoughtis said:

Was that when she came back from being gone?  Maybe it had been  raining or she had gone up to the rooftop and spilled a drink? 

It looks like she went and sat down on a step and it was wet outside and the dress (or whatever) was on the wet pavement. 

And, by the way, she looked a mess in that photo shoot.  Run a brush through your hair, for God's sake. 

[kristen111]

11 hours ago, mythoughtis said:

Lindsay again.  Mark tries to have an honest discussion about his feelings three weeks before decision day - he didn’t say one word about her faults/ and she immediately starts listing  everything he has done wrong and that she doesn’t think he’s apologized for.  I guess she thinks offense is the best proactive play here.

Plus she doesn’t lightly put her hand on his arm… she grabs at him.  Not everyone likes to be man-handled.  He obviously doesn’t 

How about Mark sits down to eat his stuff and she starts nagging him to try HER food that he doesn’t want.  She keeps it up and keeps it up, until he gets disgusted, and probably has heartburn already.  He’s probably counting the days.  He better be or else I’m going to Boston and find him.

[Yeah No]

14 minutes ago, Booger666 said:

What I heard is that there was a problem with the laundry before so Mark suggested they have separate baskets that they could put their special care items in and that they weren’t supposed to touch items in those baskets.  Then Mark goes and gets those items out of Lindseys basket, washes them and damages them.  

Mark and Lindsey are such a bad mis-match its crazy. If production asked her what her ideal day is she would say “traveling abroad and trying exotic foods”.  If they asked Mark about it he would say “staying at home, but if I have to travel can I bring a suitcase of goldfish?”.  They see things they like about each other, but are going to constantly bump heads because they are completely different and neither has any desire to change.

I think Mark is seriously overwhelmed because he's so out of his comfort zone doing this show and dealing with pushy, OTT Lindsey that keeps trying to force him into new things.  He's already out of his comfort zone and she tries to push him even more out of it.  Now he's so stressed out by all of that that he's making mistakes and shutting down.  I've been saying for weeks now that he doesn't know which end is up anymore.  I think Lindsey being a mismatch and taking her dissatisfaction out on him in such a nasty way that presses all his buttons is only exacerbating that effect. 

[kristen111]

19 hours ago, Lindz said:

How AWKWARD was that photoshoot??? Poor photographer! The wife was MIA! & that long pause when she asked if they wanted pics of just them? YIKES! I doubt if Mark would've told her he's uncomfortable with her touching him while they're talking she would've reacted differently. Lindsey needs to say less & Mark needs to say more.

A wedding photographer no less, which is expensive.  A friend could have taken the picture.  Guess Lindsey thinks they will stay together.

[endure]

On 3/30/2022 at 7:25 PM, Katie111 said:

Lindsay’s dress (or nightgown?) is horrible.  She wears very ill fitting clothes.  And then she pairs it in with Adidas slides and then adds a trench coat.  Whaaattt??

And why was it all wet at back like she had peed or sat in a puddle?