S05.E08:Calm Before The Storm

[greekmom]

Quote

Gino's ex contacts Jasmine with shocking information; Ella has a plan to meet Johnny; Memphis gives Hamza an ultimatum; Kim and Usman disagree on having sex; Mike is making changes for Ximena; Ben worries Mahogany might be standing him up.

Airdates:

First Look: 1/28/22

TLC: 1/30/22

Discovery Plus: 1/30/22

[Stuckathome]

3 hours ago, greekmom said:

Mike is making changes for Ximena;

Isn't it sad that a grown ass man has to make a conscious effort to not be a nasty pig? I mean, pick up your clothes you are a guest in her home (ok, yes you paid for that home, but still) and don't burp and fart like you are in a frat house. Hell, at this point Noxema may be afraid she is going to show up to a house straight out of hoarders.... 

 

3 hours ago, greekmom said:

Ben worries Mahogany might be standing him up.

Oh, dear Baby Jesus, please let her do just that! Since we have seen pics of her, I have a feeling it will be more like Lana with David----she will dodge him for a bit and then he will finally meet her and all will be forgiven because while she isn't like her pics, she is young and pretty enough. And he will happily hand over some $$$ for some boobs. 

[Mrs. Hanson]

On 1/26/2022 at 11:14 AM, greekmom said:

Airdates:

First Look: 1/28/22

TLC: 1/30/22

Discovery Plus: 1/30/22

Gino's ex contacts Jasmine with shocking information; Ella has a plan to meet Johnny; Memphis gives Hamza an ultimatum; Kim and Usman disagree on having sex; Mike is making changes for Ximena; Ben worries Mahogany might be standing him up

Not sure why it is formatted that way.

Anyway:  AGAIN with the changing of Mike?  Again with Ella and her plan?  And ultimatums never work.  

[procrasstinator]

On 1/26/2022 at 2:20 PM, Stuckathome said:

Isn't it sad that a grown ass man has to make a conscious effort to not be a nasty pig? I mean, pick up your clothes you are a guest in her home (ok, yes you paid for that home, but still) and don't burp and fart like you are in a frat house. Hell, at this point Noxema may be afraid she is going to show up to a house straight out of hoarders.... 

I think it's a little sad yes, but I also think it's maybe just an unconscious habit on Mike's part since he's never lived with a woman before.  ( I think I have my facts straight about that?)  And that's sad to me that Mike hasn't had any past relationships to set his behavior standards any higher.  He did seem willing enough to do better and I liked that Ximena talked to him about what was bothering her.  To me that's a much healthier dynamic than a lot of other couples on the show.  It seems like this is a couple who are willing to listen to each other and work things out not like Kim who seems to only pretend to listen to Usman and then is back to pressuring him for sex.  She seems predatory to me not being able to understand that no means no.

[Stuckathome]

1 hour ago, procrasstinator said:

It seems like this is a couple who are willing to listen to each other and work things out not like Kim who seems to only pretend to listen to Usman and then is back to pressuring him for sex.  She seems predatory to me not being able to understand that no means no.

I agree. I think the main difference between the two comes from the foundation of the relationships---Ximena is looking for someone to support her and the kids and if she can get out of Colombia, all the better (less of a chance of her past turning up all the time). Mike is just looking for a woman, any woman (ok she has to be young and hot) to start a family with---oh and help take care of his father and grandfather. Not sure if he has explained they are a package deal. Anyway both sort of want the same thing. Kim and Usman? Uh, he wants exposure for his "singing" (quotes because calling it singing is generous), gifts and a ticket to the US while she wants to get laid and be able to say she is attached to a "superstar" like her idol MJ. I don't know that even Kim would say she wants to marry him and build a life----she wants sex and to feel important and needed in some way. It's all emotional. For Usman, it is all financial. As I posted in another thread, I give him an ounce of respect and credit for not just screwing her and playing on her emotions, but I suspect that is because he has an actual girlfriend who he knows will see this and he sold it to her as "this is just a superfan who is financing the video." 

[procrasstinator]

2 hours ago, Stuckathome said:

 Mike is just looking for a woman, any woman (ok she has to be young and hot) to start a family with---oh and help take care of his father and grandfather. Not sure if he has explained they are a package deal. Anyway both sort of want the same thing.  

Yes that's an excellent point.  Just like Ximena owed it to Mike to let him know she can't have any more children Mike also owes it to Ximena to let her know what she'll be getting herself into taking care of Mike's father and grandfather before she goes to the U.S.  And so far Mike hasn't done that.

[Frozendiva]

The 20 minute first look:

Kimbaaaaly has persuaded Usman to bring a few things to her room. He certainly kept himself covered up when he woke up. Guess it is not his religion to hook up with women before he is engaged to one. And he and his first wife were 'engaged' before she came over. Good excuse. I may need to try it if someone comes in to my life. His buddies aren't too happy. Kimbaaaaaly is giddy that SojaBoy may finally express some interest in her as a girlfriend. Probably not. She may very well find herself going home alone and SojaBoy will move on to another girl.

Mike admits to Ximena that he has ADHD and that some of his behavior stems from that - he is distracted, etc. Had to ask the driver for a bag to put his used tissue that he was going to leave in the car. That may explain some of it. He also doesn't have any women around him and he can be a slob. Wonder if his dad or grandpa picks up after him or the house stinks of dirty dude duds. He apologizes again to Ximena. Watch yourself with the excuses. At his age, he should be able to pick up after himself. Plus he still hasn't mentioned his living situation?

Gino and Jasmine head off to the expensive resort. He is forced to remove his hat at the small airport. We just get a long shot of him. Jasmine sees him as a Bruce Willis sort. She sort of apologizes for her poor behaviour - guess the resort is worth it for her as she could not afford to go.

[nutella fitzgerald]

12 minutes ago, Frozendiva said:

Mike admits to Ximena that he has ADHD and that some of his behavior stems from that - he is distracted, etc. Had to ask the driver for a bag to put his used tissue that he was going to leave in the car. That may explain some of it.

This was disgusting, and Ximena truly sounded like a mother explaining to a child of 6 or so when she said “you can’t leave your dirty tissue in this car, it isn’t yours”. I wonder if Mike leaves used tissues in other people’s cars in America, or if he would appreciate having to handle a stranger’s mucus-filled trash. The ADHD excuse fell flat for me. If you can’t be trusted to keep your snot to yourself, your problems are far worse than ordinary “forgetfulness”. 

[Frozendiva]

3 minutes ago, nutella fitzgerald said:

This was disgusting, and Ximena truly sounded like a mother explaining to a child of 6 or so when she said “you can’t leave your dirty tissue in this car, it isn’t yours”. I wonder if Mike leaves used tissues in other people’s cars in America, or if he would appreciate having to handle a stranger’s mucus-filled trash. The ADHD excuse fell flat for me. If you can’t be trusted to keep your snot to yourself, your problems are far worse than ordinary “forgetfulness”. 

I keep a couple of bags in my car for assorted trash, including used tissues. Most public places like grocery stores have a garbage can. I also have a kitchen garbage can, an upstairs bathroom garbage can. Maybe if I am sick the trash may stay for a day or so, but that's it.

[magemaud]

I have the feeling that Mike has used ADHD as a convenient excuse for anything since he was diagnosed in middle school. 

[Frozendiva]

9 hours ago, magemaud said:

I have the feeling that Mike has used ADHD as a convenient excuse for anything since he was diagnosed in middle school. 

I would not be surprised. Does he have any awareness of manners or social graces? If one is a guest in another’s home, one puts one’s laundry into a bag that one packs. If the host has a washer and dryer, you ask if you can use it or where is the nearest laundromat. One does not throw dirty underwear on the floor. One does not toss a used tissue in another person’s vehicle. Mike, you are 34 years old. I don’t think your ADHD excuses you from living worse than a pig. Actually a pig is a clean animal. Ximena is not your maid, or as she will eventually learn, a maid to you, your dad, and gramps.

[magemaud]

45 minutes ago, Frozendiva said:

I don’t think your ADHD excuses you from living worse than a pig.

Plus, there are meds for adults to help them function and focus instead of just shrugging off everything as "I do it because I have ADHD." 

edited again: While I realize the two conditions are not of the same "gravity", it's interesting how Mike justified not telling Ximena about his ADHD until after he met her in person while at the same time being upset that she didn't confess in advance about not being to have children. 

Oh, and I can't help but notice the irony of this week's episode title, "The Calm Before the Storm" when I watched the first look last night and woke up to a foot of snow at the Jersey Shore

Edited January 29, 2022 by magemaud

[Breedom]

13 hours ago, nutella fitzgerald said:

This was disgusting, and Ximena truly sounded like a mother explaining to a child of 6 or so when she said “you can’t leave your dirty tissue in this car, it isn’t yours”.

 

38 minutes ago, Frozendiva said:

One does not toss a used tissue in another person’s vehicle. Mike, you are 34 years old. I don’t think your ADHD excuses you from living worse than a pig.

I agree with everyone on this. I thought the same thing, at 34 years old has Mike not had any living experience? And the scene in the cab really did resemble a mom talking to her child. The positioning looked like she was much bigger than he was and he was much smaller, like a child. She was comforting him, not able to embrace him like in an equal man-woman relationship, and again, more parent-child. The cab driver must have had a very entertaining ride as these personal admissions aren't normally the kind of stuff people discuss in public. Wow.

[Frozendiva]

1 hour ago, magemaud said:

Plus, there are meds for adults to help them function and focus instead of just shrugging off everything as "I do it because I have ADHD." 

edited again: While I realize the two conditions are not of the same "gravity", it's interesting how Mike justified not telling Ximena about his ADHD until after he met her in person while at the same time being upset that she didn't confess in advance about not being to have children. 

Oh, and I can't help but notice the irony of this week's episode title, "The Calm Before the Storm" when I watched the first look last night and woke up to a foot of snow at the Jersey Shore

My cousin’s son is in his late 40s. He thinks he may have ADHD based on some of his forgetfulness, easily being distracted, etc. He does not use his possibility of having it as an excuse.

Kids are a non negotiable/dealbreaker for some people. Perhaps Mike assumed that a 24 year old woman who already had two kids would be able to have children. Ximena not wanting kids and being unable to have kids should have been on her profile or came up very early in the ‘relationship’. Before Mike invested his time and money and his heart. It is not a case of maybe my kids will be enough for him. Or I can string him along and when we are married and if I can’t get pregnant, the doctor can tell him that and leave out the tubes tied part. If he does want his own biological children, he would either accept that he can be a dad to her kids, or find another more suitable woman.  And Ximena can find another guy.

[FrancescaFiore]

On 1/26/2022 at 9:14 AM, greekmom said:

Kim and Usman disagree on having sex

This is an hilarious way of phrasing that Usman isn't interested in Kim for what she can do for him sexually, he's only interested in what she can do for his career. The visa, the career management, the expensive perks. Turns out Kim's "personal Michael Jackson" isn't interested in sex with her and never was. He just wants a friend with financial benefits. What did he think was going to happen when she traveled all the way to Nigeria? That she'd be okay with the bait & switch? She's no better, expecting her expensive gifts and fawning attention to buy his love. If she was living in reality, she'd never have fallen for the premise that he could possibly have a romantic interest in her. If Zara had been the one who came to see Usman, I've zero doubt Usman would've wanted to have sex with her. Kim, he's just not into you.

Edited January 29, 2022 by FrancescaFiore

[1011101010001]

Mike is a volunteer fireman.  I wonder if he ever forgets to attach the hose to the hydrant.  He also seems to lack the size or upper body strength to carry a victim out. Maybe he is on the bucket brigade.  Or brushes the Dalmatian.

[1011101010001]

Baby Girl Lisa was equally if not more physically repulsive as Kim.  Yet he was able to mount her.  I think Usman thinks that the unrequited chase makes good tv.  It’s like Lucy pulling the football away from Charlie Brown ad infinitum.

[Mondrianyone]

25 minutes ago, MrBuhBye said:

Mike is a volunteer fireman.

I was thinking about this, too, from the cleanliness standpoint. If he hangs out at the firehouse, I bet he remembers not to toss his used Kleenex wherever. The other firefighters might toss him into a burning building if he pulled that crap once too often.

My feelings on Mike have done a 180. At first I thought he was just this poor little schlemiel looking for love, and I felt sorry for him. But there are plenty of poor little schlemiels who manage to find women in their same weight class at home in the States. Mike thought he could get something better, and it bit him in the ass. Boohoo.

[Breedom]

32 minutes ago, Mondrianyone said:

I was thinking about this, too, from the cleanliness standpoint. If he hangs out at the firehouse, I bet he remembers not to toss his used Kleenex wherever. The other firefighters might toss him into a burning building if he pulled that crap once too often.

Yes, he hasn't been living in a cocoon for 30 plus years.

[magemaud]

7 hours ago, MrBuhBye said:

Baby Girl Lisa was equally if not more physically repulsive as Kim.  Yet he was able to mount her.

He explained in the preview that he was "already in a relationship" with his She-Who-Will-Not-Be-Named ex-wife before she got to Nigeria so he had sex with her. He must have learned his lesson from BGL and now has stressed the Kim is his potential girlfriend and they wouldn't have sex until he decides if their relationship is a "go" or not. He'll probably hold off until she's at the airport, ready to board the plane home, then tell her she's his girlfriend but sorry, it's too late to consummate things this time. This way he can dodge the sex bullet but still keep her hanging on from thousands of miles away. 

[FrancescaFiore]

9 hours ago, MrBuhBye said:

Baby Girl Lisa was equally if not more physically repulsive as Kim.  Yet he was able to mount her.

That was a different situation. That was his opportunity to get on American TV on top of get that visa. He was naive and didn't realize he didn't have to actually give up the yam-yam to get the benefits. That was before he figured out that dumb horny American women would still jump through hoops to be with him - even agreeing to being one of multiple wives Iike Kim did. Sojaboy got savvy to the scampportunity.

Edited January 30, 2022 by FrancescaFiore

[Alonzo Mosely FBI]

I am judging everyone on their pandemic habits, covid courtesy, respect and information.  It's NOT the "Delta virus" Ella. It is a variant of a virus. And Ben, put a mask on in the cab. He comes from a conservative Christian background and IMHO it might be skewing his attitudes about it I've seen too much death in that community in my experience.  He's got his faith in God for both his virus protection & his catfish invisible girlfriend showing up and it makes me madder than I should be.  No one is going to make him wear a mask and no one is going to make him stop pursuing "Mahogany" even if he has to stalk her down. Dude's scary, pushy and ignorant. 

[Mrs. Hanson]

Mike, you have dropped in my world.  You were gonna stick your nose puke in a stranger's car?  ADHD and SLD are two separate things.  ADHD is NOT a form of SLD.  You can have both.  I have kids on my caseload that have both.  There is very strict criteria for SLD (no I am not going to share, lol) Which is why it gives me an eyetwitch when people, upon seeing a person on a show, speculate he or she has autism.  Again, lots of testing, lots of protocols, lots of research then a decision made by a team in a school setting.  Even higher standards for a medical diagnosis of ASD.   Thank you for attending my TedTalk, lol.

On 1/29/2022 at 1:35 AM, magemaud said:

I have the feeling that Mike has used ADHD as a convenient excuse for anything since he was diagnosed in middle school. 

Because he has?  Good lord, I know (we all do) lots of people with either medicated or unmedicated ADHD who are clean and tidy people.   

I started watching it on D plus but may not get through it as it is NFC playoff day, babeeeeeee!  

23 hours ago, FrancescaFiore said:

If Zara had been the one who came to see Usman, I've zero doubt Usman would've wanted to have sex with her. Kim, he's just not into you.

Bolding:  true that sister.

One more beef, lol:  Stop picking and choosing which part of your religion you are going to use as an excuse to not do something,  Usman, we have seen you drink (right)?  Stop saying you won't sleep with Kimberly because you are Muslim, just be straight with her and say what @FRANSECSAFIORE said:  Kim, I am just not that into you.  But thanks for the playstation.  Can I drive you to the airport now or after dinner?

[Kid]

On 1/28/2022 at 10:51 AM, procrasstinator said:

Kim who seems to only pretend to listen to Usman and then is back to pressuring him for sex.  She seems predatory to me not being able to understand that no means no.

Isn’t the double standard interesting?  If the roles were reversed, everyone would be up in arms and demanding he be fired.

She is pathetic!  He is a user but she is pathetic!

[Kid]

21 hours ago, Mondrianyone said:

Mike thought he could get something better, and it bit him in the ass. Boohoo.

Mike thought he could BUY something better.  As her father pointed out to her, she dumps him she’s going have to go out and get a job! Oh my God, she’s going to have to get a JOB. The humanity!!!

She has a job with him too, Daddy.  On her back.

[Sir RaiderDuck OMS]

For the amount of money Kimberly spent flying across the ocean (and maybe financing Usman's video shoot), she could have flown to Vegas and purchased the services of a gigolo who would have dressed like Michael Jackson, done anything she wanted, and allowed her to live that fantasy; instead, she repeatedly throws herself at, then is spurned by, a third-rate "entertainer" who wouldn't make the cut on your average cruise ship.

That Turkish bath looked incredible. The building, that is. Lying down on a cold marble floor containing the foot fungus of however many people and having foam ladled on you? Yeccch.

Mike, your ADHD is not the problem. You're just a disgusting slob. On the other hand, he genuinely wants to be a good dad to the two kids.

Preacher boy finally figured out that when his imaginary GF said "Don't come here. I won't be waiting for you.", she wasn't lying.

[greekmom]

4 hours ago, Kid said:

Isn’t the double standard interesting?  If the roles were reversed, everyone would be up in arms and demanding he be fired.

She is pathetic!  He is a user but she is pathetic!

Alot of fans complained when Angela did it. When Lisa did it. When Laura did it. And even now with Kimberly.

Alot of fans also complained with Ed, Pole, Mark, etc. as well. 

TLC just doesn't care.

[Alonzo Mosely FBI]

On 1/29/2022 at 4:14 PM, MrBuhBye said:

Mike is a volunteer fireman.  I wonder if he ever forgets to attach the hose to the hydrant.  He also seems to lack the size or upper body strength to carry a victim out. Maybe he is on the bucket brigade.  Or brushes the Dalmatian.

Right? Even I know basic bodily fluid protection from CPR Resussie Annie Class! A fireman should know better about bio hazards. 

Elijah peace-ing out: "Don't be a dick Caleb." perfection

[Kid]

13 minutes ago, Alonzo Mosely FBI said:

Elijah peace-ing out: "Don't be a dick Caleb." perfection

I actually like Elijah!!  🤣🤣

[Alonzo Mosely FBI]

17 minutes ago, Kid said:

I actually like Elijah!!  🤣🤣

Me too. He is the definition of a ride or die BFF 

[Mrs. Hanson]

1 hour ago, Sir RaiderDuck OMS said:

For the amount of money Kimberly spent flying across the ocean (and maybe financing Usman's video shoot), she could have flown to Vegas and purchased the services of a gigolo who would have dressed like Michael Jackson, done anything she wanted, and allowed her to live that fantasy; instead, she repeatedly throws herself at, then is spurned by, a third-rate "entertainer" who wouldn't make the cut on your average cruise ship.

Very good point.

Playoffs are not disappointing KIMBAAAAAAALEEEEEEE!

[nutella fitzgerald]

Why is Kimbally getting her son involved in her negotiations for the yammy yammy? Good God, Kimbally, that is an even worse decision than the cheap nightgown you selected for your seduction mission.

[b2H]

Will be interesting to see

 

Spoiler

if Cah-leb and Alina make the show tonight - word is everything is struck out from this point forward.

 

[JeanJean]

1 hour ago, Alonzo Mosely FBI said:

Me too. He is the definition of a ride or die BFF 

Yea, but he's also a shit-stirrer.

[JeanJean]

Kimbaaaaly, I am speaking to you as an older woman, too.

You need to get realistic. Even if you were pretty younger, and are still pretty for 50 at 50, a 32-year-old guy is more likely to not want you than want you. Unless maybe you're Michelle Pfeiffer, and how many of us are? 

Haranguing him for sex is embarrassing. 

Also, Usman has done NOTHING to you. What's your son going to do? Say, "Hey, you, f--k my mother!"?

Edited January 31, 2022 by JeanJean

[Mrs. Hanson]

59 minutes ago, JeanJean said:

Kimbaaaaly, I am speaking to you as an older woman, too.

You need to get realistic. Even if you were pretty younger, and are still pretty for 50 at 50, a 32-year-old guy is more likely to not want you than want you. Unless maybe you're Michelle Pfeiffer, and how many of us are? 

Haranguing him for sex is embarrassing. 

Also, Usman has done NOTHING to you. What's your son going to do? Say, "Hey, you, f--k my mother!"?

Per that last line:  in this show, YES!!!

[FrancescaFiore]

Ben can't pray away his dumbassery. Watching him think there's only 3% chance that Mahogany isn't real was just painful. 

Ximena seems to fancy herself a better catch than she is. Lady, you're 24, have 2 kids by 2 different dangerous, violent felons & you live off of a guy with ADHD's money. Maybe dial back the self-righteous judgments of Mike's flaws.

Elijah really makes himself difficult to like. Caleb not only took having been lied to really well, but he helped Elijah with his bags & gave him a hug. Take your own advice, Eli. Don't be a dick. Oh, too late.

Usman is a manipulative jerk. I mean, sure, Kim is the willing horse(face) being led by the promise of the carrot, (or rather, the yam) but Usman is playing her. Kim is also manipulative AF. When she laments he won't fuck her "after everything I've done for him," she means "after everything I bought for him." Can't buy you love, Kimba. 

[Adeejay]

Ximena is in a tough spot.  She doesn't want Mike, but she needs him.  

I wonder what Caleb promised Alina, because she keeps pushing for a commitment. 

I am confused as to why Usman moved in with Kimbaaly.  If he doesn't want to have sex with her, then it's probably not a good idea for them to share a bed.  It's giving her false hope. 

[JeanJean]

Seems like Mike got his translator app at Deavon and Jihoon's yard sale.

[Mrs. Landingham]

And I swear the app’s voice sounds incredulous, like “is this human really asking me to say this drivel?” 

[FrancescaFiore]

Gino managed to accomplish the impossible: he made himself not good enough for bottom-of-the-barrel, oh-my-dog-RUN-FOR-YOUR-LIFE-SHE'S-CRAZY Jasmine. If he was trying to spite his ex by sending her naked pics of Jasmine, as if to say, "I don't need you, look at the upgrade I bought," like it looks like he was, Gino is beneath reproach. He's also far too immature to be in a relationship. 

[FrancescaFiore]

1 hour ago, Mrs. Landingham said:

And I swear the app’s voice sounds incredulous, like “is this human really asking me to say this drivel?” 

I really want the app to start heaving heavy sighs before it translates. The eye rolls are clearly implied. 

[EtheltoTillie]

I fast forwarded through all of Kimbally and Caleb stories. Lots of inconclusive filler today. Boring. 

[1011101010001]

How did Kim produce such a handsome son?  Adoption?

[Auntie Anxiety]

2 hours ago, Adeejay said:

I am confused as to why Usman moved in with Kimbaaly. 

 

Because that’s where the cameras were?

[magemaud]

The nerve of young Mahogany to be influenced by her father instead of some creepy Bible banging stranger!

At first I wasn’t watching when Ben was talking and from what he said and his inflection I thought it was Kody Brown! 

[athousandclowns]

Oh my when Kim  looks in the mirror and says I’m cute —no make up the way he likes me . I’ve never seen such dark circles under anyone eyes. Looks like someone smacked her. Lifts her sexy nightgown and there’s spots and bumps on her thighs

 It is too late for a glass of wine.  

[TipseyGirl]

Gino? You're in danger, girl.

 

[Mr. Miner]

6 hours ago, magemaud said:

The nerve of young Mahogany to be influenced by her father instead of some creepy Bible banging stranger!

At first I wasn’t watching when Ben was talking and from what he said and his inflection I thought it was Kody Brown! 

I'm sure Mahogany just forgot that her nephew had a hockey tournament.

[Laurie4H]

14 hours ago, Sir RaiderDuck OMS said:

 

For the amount of money Kimberly spent flying across the ocean (and maybe financing Usman's video shoot), she could have flown to Vegas and purchased the services of a gigolo who would have dressed like Michael Jackson, done anything she wanted, and allowed her to live that fantasy; instead, she repeatedly throws herself at, then is spurned by, a third-rate "entertainer" who wouldn't make the cut on your average cruise ship.

 

 

Does she pay for all of it or does the show?

Mahogany will eventually show up and be just like her pics.  Isn’t that how it usually happens?