S03.E03: Tammy's New Squeeze

[Kid]

3 hours ago, Caoimhe said:

I’d have cut all contact with a sibling like her and moved away many years ago.

Me too.  It was my mother - not a sibling and it was BPD.  BUT, behavior was the same and I wonder if Tammy has BPD going on as the underlying cause of the addiction.  Addiction is never the cause,  it is the symptom.  They can’t fix her but she can destroy them if they allow it.

13 hours ago, Showthyme said:

Don’t try to come between her and her addiction or it is going to be bad for you.

Yep.  There is hell to pay.

Edited December 2, 2021 by Kid

[TwirlyGirly]

Amy said:

Quote

"Now that we hired Tammy a home health nurse, I'm hoping some of the abnormalities between us... animosities...whatever one you want to call it...gets a little bit better."

The above represents the kind of word salad you may end up with if you switch to low-fat dressing. 😉

All kidding aside, this is a perfect example of what can happen when someone thinks the trick to sounding well-educated is to pepper their speech with a few multi syllable words they never use in everyday speech. 

[Fosca]

A lot of my students write like that--I just had one use "gratuity" multiple times instead of "gratitude"--and I try to tell them that it's best to keep it simple and clear and not try to impress me with their polysyllabic "vocabulary", because it often backfires.  

[RedDelicious]

I mean, to be fair, some people just screw up words. My brother is smart kid and has more masters degrees than I do and uses the wrong words ALL the time. I think with Amy it happens because she's trying to articulate her thoughts in the hot seat and it just doesn't come out right. I also think in in some cases she's trying to be funny/entertaining and not necessarily trying to sound smart. I wonder if Tammy reads when she's not doing YouTube videos and cruising the BBW chat rooms. I really do think she is bright. 

[tvfanatic13]

I don't fully understand why Tammy had a melt down in the elevator. 

[RedDelicious]

5 minutes ago, tvfanatic13 said:

I don't fully understand why Tammy had a melt down in the elevator. 

I think it was a combination of embarrassment and anxiety. It's one thing to be the way she is in her own home and another when they have to perform for production in public. She can't "see" internet trolls and she can choose not to read the comments, but when they're doing their schtick in public, she can see people looking at them and whispering, etc. Plus the tea lady was visibly horrified and their mother was in rare form. I think all of it added up and pushed her over the edge emotionally. I get that, to a degree, but it's also what she signed up for. If she wants the paycheck, she has to do the activities.

[CrazyInAlabama]

Since no one at the tea party was blurred out, I bet every one of them was part of the show.    If I went to a nice place for a tea party, there is no way I would sign a release to be on camera, or to put up with Tammy, and her family's antics.    That had to be a set up. 

[magemaud]

What happened to Tammy getting her front tooth replaced? 

[PrincessPurrsALot]

1 hour ago, CrazyInAlabama said:

Since no one at the tea party was blurred out, I bet every one of them was part of the show.    If I went to a nice place for a tea party, there is no way I would sign a release to be on camera, or to put up with Tammy, and her family's antics.    That had to be a set up. 

Looking at the spread and the woman offering them hats, I question whether that place even offers tea service.  It all seemed set up for the show.  Did the go to the local Piggly Wiggly for mini muffins?  (Why yes, I am obsessed with the food.  Why do you ask? 😁 )

[cynicat]

14 minutes ago, PrincessPurrsALot said:

Looking at the spread and the woman offering them hats, I question whether that place even offers tea service.  It all seemed set up for the show.  Did the go to the local Piggly Wiggly for mini muffins?  (Why yes, I am obsessed with the food.  Why do you ask? 😁 )

Good point.  Who would ever open up a place serving "high tea" in Bumfuck, KY?

[crazycatlady58]

1 hour ago, cynicat said:

Good point.  Who would ever open up a place serving "high tea" in Bumfuck, KY?

Because even people in Bumfuck KY can read and may want to experience tge things they read about. Also not only rednecks live in small towns. 

[magemaud]

Hey, BBW King, BB King's lawyer called and he's suing for identity theft! 

[goofygirl]

On 11/30/2021 at 9:09 AM, mytmo said:

Tammy's pelvic floor muscles must be shot so it made sense that Tissa was introducing the idea of Kegel exercises to at least help with incontinence.   I probably would've tied a knot in Tammy's oxygen hose by now.   I just started watching this show while putting up my tree.  Mr. Mytmo had to leave the room.

HO!HO!HO!

[cynicat]

11 hours ago, crazycatlady58 said:

Because even people in Bumfuck KY can read and may want to experience tge things they read about. Also not only rednecks live in small towns. 

@Crazycatlady, my apologies since that must have come out wrong.  It wasn't the people I was commenting on, it was the fact that it seems like a very specialized business in a town and area of low density.

FWIW, I googled Dixon, KY and the closest place that I could find for high tea was nearly 4 hours away in Indy and it looked nothing like the place they were.

[crazycatlady58]

3 hours ago, cynicat said:

@Crazycatlady, my apologies since that must have come out wrong.  It wasn't the people I was commenting on, it was the fact that it seems like a very specialized business in a town and area of low density.

FWIW, I googled Dixon, KY and the closest place that I could find for high tea was nearly 4 hours away in Indy and it looked nothing like the place they were.

I over reacted myself. I get tired of people ( not meaning people here) thinking people from small towns are uneducated, have no curiosity . If they talk with a southern accent they don't have sense enough to come out of the rain. You did not say this it was just a over reaction on my part and I do apologize. 

[Kid]

20 hours ago, RedDelicious said:

. I wonder if Tammy reads when she's not doing YouTube videos and cruising the BBW chat rooms. I really do think she is bright. 

I agree completely.  You see flashes of that intelligence.  If she could get focused on something other than her addictions (social media being one of them), she might be able to dig her way out.

 

[Breedom]

On 11/30/2021 at 6:21 PM, String Theory said:

Then they threw her a "Welcome Home Party" complete with a full spread of snacks.  WTF were any of them thinking?  They (Chris & Amy) insist they want to help; two minutes later they're enabling/rewarding her childish demands & tantrums.

I think they are desperate to make her soul happy. She never succeeds in anything, so when she makes even the tiniest bit of effort, they heap on the accolades hoping that will change her and somehow encourage her. It doesn’t work and they never win. They are lost in trying to help someone who doesn’t want the help but, as siblings they still love her and want to help. What they don’t realize is helping her is way out of their pay range. Personally, I think Tammy is a lost cause. 

[Caoimhe]

Bonus scenes:  Teesa washes Tammy’s hair. Amy brings Gage to a park to meet up with someone she met at the Fit 4 Mom thing.  

[chenoa333]

1 hour ago, Caoimhe said:

Bonus scenes:  Teesa washes Tammy’s hair. Amy brings Gage to a park to meet up with someone she met at the Fit 4 Mom thing.  

I missed the meet up segment with Amy and the Fit4Mom group. Unfortunately, I did see the part where Teesa washes Tammy's hair. Boring. Same old crap every episode. Family enabling and Tammy defying. 

[kassa]

They have said that everybody in the family has taken in Tammy for periods of time and they've all kicked her out. So they're capable of it (when the cameras are off.) It feels to me like they're over it and would be over her, but here they are with a tv show, and doubtless lots of "suggestions" as to how to incorporate Tammy into a filmable activity while relentlessly discussing her weight issue which is the essence of the show. Chris has the opportunity to come in and take over the role of earnest weight  loser, and maybe his wife and the other sister, as well... if they really go for it. Not sure they will. 

At one point I think the host of the "tea" was listed as an etiquette teacher, so she probably runs classes for the local debs and pageant girls and the show hired her to put on an event. Looks like she didn't realize just what she was getting into.

Other sister (sorry I forget her name) came on very strong and unpleasant last year but she's showing a softer side and was pretty compassionate with Tammy, I thought. 

All in all I'm with the folks who think it's time to just tell Tammy "you're right, you should be in charge of your own life. We'll respect your choice and we won't have anything more to say about your weight. But part of letting you live your life as you see fit is that the burden of your choices can't fall on us any more. We'll line up social service help for you and what happens from there will be up to you and the choices you make. And we want to come and hang out with you and have you as part of our family life. We'll cheer you on and sympathize if things aren't great, but that's it." Basically the speech you give when your teenager wants all the privileges of adulthood with none of the responsibilities. 

Because face it - she's going to die or she'll be institutionalized, and everybody being miserable is only going to make everybody miserable for whatever time is left. If she transfers her dependence to a fetishist, so be it, if it's what she wants and what keeps the lights on and food in the fridge.

 

 

 

 

[Maisiesmom]

Caught this last night-I'm starting to agree with some of the other posters-just leave Tammy alone. Amy didn't have to be lurking about when the aide was at Tammy's house just tend to your husband and baby (who looked pretty chubby to me). Let her do or don't do what she wants-yapping at her about losing weight isn't going to change anything. She's a lost cause at this point so let her go on with her life the way she wants. She's going to die eventually so if eating herself to death or having chubby chasers as boyfriends makes her happy so be it. Their mother is a real piece of work and probably made them all overweight when they were kids-habits are hard to break. And I think at the "tea" when they were leaving Tammy had a panic attack-she was hyperventilating and looked  very scared-maybe because people were looking at her and she had nobody there with her chair so she could sit down. 

[chenoa333]

1 hour ago, Maisiesmom said:

Amy didn't have to be lurking about when the aide was at Tammy's house

Yeah. That whole scenario with Amy micromanaging the health aide seems so fake to me. 

1 hour ago, Maisiesmom said:

so if eating herself to death or having chubby chasers as boyfriends makes her happy so be it

I wonder if the BBW lovers are getting a paycheck from TLC. So much of this show is becoming obviously, the producers dumb ass ideas. 

[TwirlyGirly]

I suspect all of us realize the chance of Tammy ever losing a significant amount of weight is nil.

Most likely her weight will continue to climb and she'll be hovering around 750 pounds or more when she eventually dies of a cause related to her obesity.

I hope the family is thinking about where the money to cremate or bury Tammy is going to come from, and are already putting something aside to be ready when it's needed.

Cremating or burying those who are morbidly obese is a logistical nightmare and considerably more expensive than the cremation or burial of those whose weight is within the healthy parameters for their height.

[GaT]

51 minutes ago, TwirlyGirly said:

I hope the family is thinking about where the money to cremate or bury Tammy is going to come from, and are already putting something aside to be ready when it's needed.

I'm sure the show will pay for it for the rights to televise the whole thing.

[Mothra]

15 hours ago, Maisiesmom said:

Their mother is a real piece of work and probably made them all overweight when they were kids-habits are hard to break. And I think at the "tea" when they were leaving Tammy had a panic attack-she was hyperventilating and looked  very scared-maybe because people were looking at her and she had nobody there with her chair so she could sit down

Their mother may be the most hateful person I've ever seen (and I watched Steven Assante) but I don't think she's to blame for her daughters' heft.  That family is condemned--every damn one of them--by their genes to be circus-fat-lady obese, and there's not not one thing any of them can do to avoid that legacy.  I wonder if there's any way one of them could lose significant amounts of weight and keep it off.  If you can get a PhD in fatology, right there is your doctoral thesis.  You're welcome.

[Boston]

On 11/30/2021 at 10:09 AM, mytmo said:

Tammy's pelvic floor muscles must be shot so it made sense that Tissa was introducing the idea of Kegel exercises to at least help with incontinence.   I probably would've tied a knot in Tammy's oxygen hose by now.   I just started watching this show while putting up my tree.  Mr. Mytmo had to leave the room.

I just threw up in my mouth.  I can't even picture that shit in my head or I'll go crazy

[chenoa333]

6 hours ago, TwirlyGirly said:

hope the family is thinking about where the money to cremate or bury Tammy is going to come from, and are already putting something aside to be ready when it's needed.

Another poster mentioned awhile ago that Tammys mom has already purchased 2 burial.plots (side by side) for Tammy. Kind of like a "double wide" grave site.

[winsomeone]

When Tammy and her care giver were laughing and having a good time, Amy could hear her next door, and it seemed to make her angry for some reason? I thought they all just wanted her to be happy? The caregiver seemed to handle Tammy better than any of her family does.

[goofygirl]

On 11/30/2021 at 9:16 PM, Quilty said:

Why are two grown women burping and farting in public? They know is disgusting. There's nothing funny about it. It's gross. Is that their idea of entertainment? I hope not or I'll stop watching. And I just started. 

Hate to be the bearer of bad news, but YES! THEY LOVE all the burping and farting!  It's like a drunk monkey with a coconut!

[Maisiesmom]

I think it's a good idea that Tammy's mom bought 2 grave spaces for her-she can't be cremated since the retort will only hold up to about 500 lbs. She still won't fit in a standard casket-the norm is 24 inches (on the inside) but there are companies that make oversize caskets. The biggest one I've ever seen was 52 inches (on the inside) and we fit a man who weighed about 600 lbs in it. It was tight (and a group effort to get him in there) we had to use a van to get him to the cemetery (casket too wide for the hearse) and we needed 12 pallbearers to carry the casket to the grave space. I'm just curious when she does pass-will TLC help pick up the tab for all this extra expense?

[PrincessPurrsALot]

4 hours ago, winsomeone said:

When Tammy and her care giver were laughing and having a good time, Amy could hear her next door, and it seemed to make her angry for some reason? I thought they all just wanted her to be happy? The caregiver seemed to handle Tammy better than any of her family does.

The family is too caught up in the berate her to lose weight plan.  It has not worked.  Tammy reacts much better to positivity.  Teesa is building rapport and establishing trust.  She is doing the right thing.  Amy seems to want Tammy to embark on a major exercise plan.  At her state of physical health, that is not possible.  She is more likely to hurt herself and then do nothing more.  Arm exercises are a starting point.  Kegels are too, and they reinforce Tammy's sense that she is sexually desirable, which is important to her self worth. They are just all too enmeshed in Tammy's addiction to see the way out.  

[chenoa333]

16 hours ago, TwirlyGirly said:

I suspect all of us realize the chance of Tammy ever losing a significant amount of weight is nil.

So true. As the old saying goes "the chances of that happening are slim to none and Slim's out of town."

[chenoa333]

4 hours ago, Maisiesmom said:

I'm just curious when she does pass-will TLC help pick up the tab for all this extra expense?

Probably they will. It will be a huge money maker for TLC and whoever produces this show. Very sad and disheartening that our society makes money off of others misfortunes and economic status. I wish nothing but the worst for TLC and its producers.

[CrazyInAlabama]

51 minutes ago, chenoa333 said:

Probably they will. It will be a huge money maker for TLC and whoever produces this show. Very sad and disheartening that our society makes money off of others misfortunes and economic status. I wish nothing but the worst for TLC and its producers.

I'm sure it will be "A Very Special Episode", but I'm guessing TLC will kick in very little.   Probably a fund will be online to collect money.    

[mytmo]

Since they are in the south why wouldn't they include some type of iced tea beverage?  I saw online on the BBC website on throwing a high tea that suggested a cold tea could be included in the summer months.

[Tipsymcstagger]

Can you imagine going to a darling little tea place for Mother’s Day and you run into that trio? I suspect the other patrons were ‘plants’ because I would have noped on outta there if I had been a customer and the three hog women of the apocalypse waddled in. They’re all just so gross. I know it’s a shock value thing but it’s still vile. Tammy doesn’t have one redeeming quality. Not one. She will die soon and -while I feel sorry for her family - I have no feelings for her. She will be reaping what she has sown for many, many years.

[GaT]

2 minutes ago, Tipsymcstagger said:

three hog women of the apocalypse waddled in

OMG, I'm never going to stop laughing! 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣