S13.E19: Houston Reunion, Part 2

[Adeejay]

I just can’t get over how obsessed Johnny is with Bao. She appears to be living rent free in his head. The thing is, we don’t have any evidence of her being horrible to him, but plenty where he is being a monster to her.  The fact that she is ignoring him seems to be driving him insane. Someone should probably tell him the more he tries to make her look bad, the worse he looks.

[Rae Spellman]

2 hours ago, LuvMyShows said:

...and about his view on marriage.  He said something like, the point of marriage isn't to be happy, it's to achieve goals together.  Say what, now?  Achieving goals is what you focus on with a personal trainer, or a mentor, or your work team.  If you're not happy (overall) in your marriage, then with rare exception, why the heck would you stay?  

 

Not that long ago people married and stayed married for practical reasons like the shared the goal of raising a family with their partner, the family and community expected them to be married, etc.  People married people that didn't make them happy before the wedding and didn't leave unhappy marriages because it wasn't always, or didn't always seem like an option. 

Pastor Cal's beliefs about what marriage is for might be old school, and/or better suited for his parishioners than for the average MAFS participant. 

ETA: Breaking up ten weeks into a relationship when you are unhappy and have decided that it just isn't the right relationship for you seems more reasonable than staying because some experts on a television show think you owe it to them to stay married.

Edited November 27, 2021 by Rae Spellman

[Elizzikra]

Quote

She appears to be living rent free in his head. 

She's overpaying...

[StatisticalOutlier]

9 hours ago, cinsays said:

what breed is it?  sounds like my kind of dog

Nah.  It's pretty clear that if you have any restrictions on the type of dog you'll have it means you'll be a terrible owner and probably return it to the shelter in a couple of weeks.

[Gator Stud]

On 11/24/2021 at 6:13 PM, kristen111 said:

Does Viviana have a new face?  Seems she had work done.  Pepper has a kimono on.  She has pajamas to match.  I have a smaller size the same.

I thought that too, but my girlfriend said she just got different hair.  She got rid of the whole Pocahontas act.  I mean, maybe she is part Native. But I think she is transitioning Pocahontas for a new look.  Also, I noticed the producers put a table in front of her and changed her angle, so not to make Pastor Cal look like a dwarf. At this point I dont know what she adds to the show.  All the couples she picks are bad.  She insisted on Chris last season, even thought Pastor Cal was all like, I dunno...... I think she picked Machala too. I think Pepper has had work done.  Too bad about Jaime O.

[LennieBriscoe]

10 hours ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

Nah.  It's pretty clear that if you have any restrictions on the type of dog you'll have it means you'll be a terrible owner and probably return it to the shelter in a couple of weeks.

 I completely disagree. Though I don't have a dog, I know I would not want a large one. Does this mean I would be "terrible" with and towards a Miniature Long-Haired Dachshund? IDTS!!

Indeed, there are rescue/shelter organizations themselves devoted strictly to one breed only.

[Yeah No]

16 hours ago, Rae Spellman said:

Not that long ago people married and stayed married for practical reasons like the shared the goal of raising a family with their partner, the family and community expected them to be married, etc.  People married people that didn't make them happy before the wedding and didn't leave unhappy marriages because it wasn't always, or didn't always seem like an option. 

Pastor Cal's beliefs about what marriage is for might be old school, and/or better suited for his parishioners than for the average MAFS participant. 

ETA: Breaking up ten weeks into a relationship when you are unhappy and have decided that it just isn't the right relationship for you seems more reasonable than staying because some experts on a television show think you owe it to them to stay married.

Also people got married to please their families, which may mean to marry someone from a certain family or background, or who met other criteria not necessarily appreciated by the person marrying, like being rich or politically connected.  Marriage was more about family obligation and family priorities rather than personal happiness.

I think Pastor Cal can be an idiot.  He probably really means to say that people shouldn't leave a marriage every time they go through a rough spot or feel unhappy in it, but should work on figuring out and resolving the cause of the unhappiness first before deciding the relationship is not worth saving.  Being too focused on happiness without seeing the bigger picture can result in running away from a relationship that other than having one or two major or minor issues to resolve has a lot going for it that should not be so easily thrown away.  Some of these people are still single precisely because they bolt every time they feel the least bit unhappy about things that may not be that important or may be easily resolved. 

Yet Pastor Cal keeps pressing a point that marriage is not about happiness.  Bullshit.  Of course it is, it's just that when happiness becomes the major or only goal of a relationship it's doomed to fail because the partners might not see what shared meaning it has that might be worth saving in spite of some unhappiness.  Feelings are often changeable and based on false presumptions and miscommunications that can be resolved with some care and attention.  You have to care enough about the relationship to figure all that stuff out and put the attention into it that it deserves before you decide that it's not worth saving.  It might not be worth saving but you have to try to save it first before you can really know that.  If all you do is chase happiness and not put in that kind of care and attention into the relationship you won't ever find it.  I think that's the point he's really trying to make but he's too stupid to put it in any other way.  He's actually doing more damage to his case by putting it the way he does.

 

[cinsays]

2 hours ago, LennieBriscoe said:

 I completely disagree. Though I don't have a dog, I know I would not want a large one. Does this mean I would be "terrible" with and towards a Miniature Long-Haired Dachshund? IDTS!!

Indeed, there are rescue/shelter organizations themselves devoted strictly to one breed only.

yeah, i have had dogs, 2 dachshunds, actually, that i loved and was a good mommy to, so...

[Elizzikra]

Quote

Yet Pastor Cal keeps pressing a point that marriage is not about happiness.

Hell, isn't life supposed to be about happiness. I could not follow Pastor Cal at all. "Stay in a marriage even if you are unhappy because you'll still be achieving something?" Come on. 

Having said that, I do know one person who is actively seeking a spouse and she will say point blank that she is not marrying for love (though she wants to like, minimally, her partner). She is marrying "to build wealth." She wants to be part of a "power couple;" each using the other's skills, social contacts and financial means to improve their joint financial picture. I think that's something of a theme on various reality shows and perhaps among certain segments of society. That seems to be something like what Pastor Cal was saying though I don't know that he necessarily equates "joint couple goals" with "increasing material wealth."

It was clear to me from the start that Gil and Myrla were a mismatch. Myrla is motivated by money - there is nothing wrong with that. Gil is not motivated by money. There is nothing wrong with that. But it's hard to find common ground in there. They never should have been matched with each other.

[Retired at last]

9 hours ago, Gator Stud said:

I thought that too, but my girlfriend said she just got different hair. 

To me it looked like she just took those Pocahontas braids out right before the show and her hair was still wavy from that.

[Boo Boo]

On 11/25/2021 at 11:41 PM, Blissfool said:

I don't think they act like a couple. I think they act like mean-girl besties that like to shop together, brunch together, and giggle at inside jokes together.

Yes, that is true.  But Myrla's constant touching of him is way too intimate.

[mythoughtis]

6 hours ago, Yeah No said:

I think Pastor Cal can be an idiot.  He probably really means to say that people shouldn't leave a marriage every time they go through a rough spot or feel unhappy in it, but should work on figuring out and resolving the cause of the unhappiness first before deciding the relationship is not worth saving.  Being too focused on happiness without seeing the bigger picture can result in running away from a relationship that other than having one or two major or minor issues to resolve has a lot going for it that should not be so easily thrown away.  Some of these people are still single precisely because they bolt every time they feel the least bit unhappy about things that may not be that important or may be easily resolved. 

My thoughts exactly.  I don’t know if this is what he meant, but it’s what he should have said.  
The first year of marriage is rough. Combining two homes into one, getting rid of things one  person saved to buy and was proud of owning.  Deciding who is doing what.  Dealing with idiosyncrasies about toothpaste tubes, what goes where in the dishwasher, etc.  it’s not a happy year even for couples who chose whom to marry. 
Myrla didn’t want to be married at first sight if she had to be recruited  for it.   No one who wanted to be married at first sight would complain  so much to her stranger/husband  on their honeymoon.  Most people would want to show their best ability to compromise and be a great person to be around- at least for the first few days. 

[ChiMama]

On 11/25/2021 at 11:44 AM, Adeejay said:

On 11/25/2021 at 11:30 AM, Crashcourse said:

I could have sworn it was Bao who said something like knock it off or cool it to Johnny.  I'd like to find the clip. 

I still didn't like her sitting there with the group looking all innocent, when she's dating Zack.  Johnny is right.  She IS fake AF. 

Expand  

When Kevin asked who they thought would have been better matches, Gil said he wasn't feeling well and walked off.  Johnny said, "I don't think he likes that question."  RACHAEL said to Johnny, "Knock it off."  It's all on tape, but please don't let that get in the way of your narrative of Bao being a horrible, despicable person and a fake.  

Plus, I think the reunion was like a month after DD and the Where Are They Now thing was 3 months later? I’m thinking Zach and Bao were NOT dating at the time of the reunion - so, not fake. 

[ChiMama]

On 11/25/2021 at 1:31 PM, spunky said:

 

I hope they remain friends.  

 

  Reveal spoiler

https://www.instagram.com/p/CWtKIJxrmSe/?utm_medium=copy_link

 

 

Woo - some Michaela’ crazy eyes’ in that second shot 

[princelina]

On 11/26/2021 at 12:42 AM, Racj82 said:

I don't blame people for not wanting to talk about what goes on in the bedroom on tv. I blame people for coming on THIS show and being so closed off about it. There is always a way to talk about this stuff without being graphic anyway.

After watching this show for years I even know how it's done!  Have sex on the honeymoon, tell the camera it was great, and be done with it.  (See Anthony/Ashley, Bobby/Danielle, and I don't remember who else but I've known for ages that if I went on this show that's what I'd do! 😄 )

 

On 11/27/2021 at 2:27 PM, Rae Spellman said:

Breaking up ten weeks into a relationship when you are unhappy and have decided that it just isn't the right relationship for you seems more reasonable than staying because some experts on a television show think you owe it to them to stay married.

Exactly!  Pastor Cal's advice is for a couple who has been married for years, has kids, and now one of them "isn't feeling it" - not for people who have been together for 2 months.  I had a friend who dated an asshole and when she tried to dump him he wanted them to go to "relationship counseling" and I told her "No! That's the whole point of dating - if you don't like the other person after 2-3 months you break up, you don't go to counseling!"  She stuck to her guns and dumped him, and he validated my opinion of him as the abusive asshole I always knew he was by writing her an email begging her to reconsider - and informing her that if she didn't she was the stupidest moron alive to let such a "great relationship" go!  I wish I had saved that email when she forwarded it to me - it was gold, Jerry, GOLD!!!  On the other hand - when I was around my late 40s I had several friends who just had to get a divorce because they "weren't attracted to their husbands any more".  The husbands were shocked and dismayed; kids all upset; then when the dust settled the husbands went out and found new wives; kids seemed to figure out what happened and hated mom's dates more than dad's, and 5-10 years after the divorce they admit they made a mistake.  I even have one friend who is older than me and left 3 husbands (before I knew her) - she says now that she should have stayed with her daughters' father (#1) - "All my husbands are retired and here I am still having to work in my late 60s!"  I think those are who Pastor Cal's advice is for.  Two months in and no kids?  Run for the hills if you're not happy now!

[Yeah No]

4 hours ago, princelina said:

Pastor Cal's advice is for a couple who has been married for years, has kids, and now one of them "isn't feeling it" - not for people who have been together for 2 months.  I had a friend who dated an asshole and when she tried to dump him he wanted them to go to "relationship counseling" and I told her "No! That's the whole point of dating - if you don't like the other person after 2-3 months you break up, you don't go to counseling!" 

I agree with you here 100% when you're dating, but that's just the thing here....This isn't dating.  These people signed up to treat this like what it technically is - a marriage, which is a commitment, not something that you try on and then discard after a few weeks because you're not feeling it.  Whether you're married 2 weeks or 25 years it's the same commitment.  That's why Pastor Cal is impressing this upon them.  If they just wanted to date and break up like they've done in the past they shouldn't have signed up for the show.  They agreed to be married and do what married people do to try to save a troubled relationship, which involves counseling and sticking it out, not trying the person on and then bolting when they decide they don't like them.  Otherwise it's just more of the same thing they've been doing that hasn't worked up until this point.

[VagabondDays]

At the risk of being hated by all, I am here to go there — to say something wildly unpopular with the hope that a few brave, rare souls will emerge and support me…. I think Brett’s boobs look great.  Yes, they’re low, but they’re plump and out there and I’m into it and would welcome her bringing them into my life.

[princelina]

23 minutes ago, Yeah No said:

I agree with you here 100% when you're dating, but that's just the thing here....This isn't dating.  These people signed up to treat this like what it technically is - a marriage, which is a commitment, not something that you try on and then discard after a few weeks because you're not feeling it.  Whether you're married 2 weeks or 25 years it's the same commitment.  That's why Pastor Cal is impressing this upon them.  If they just wanted to date and break up like they've done in the past they shouldn't have signed up for the show.  They agreed to be married and do what married people do to try to save a troubled relationship, which involves counseling and sticking it out, not trying the person on and then bolting when they decide they don't like them.  Otherwise it's just more of the same thing they've been doing that hasn't worked up until this point.

If this were a real thing I'd agree with you here, but after Jamie O and Basement's wife in season 2 they don't even really try if they're not immediately attracted; they just play the game and the experts waltz in an out with fish bowls and sex games and pretend they are taking this seriously.  So as a rule the "counseling" is as much of a joke as the rest of the show.  I actually do think Rachel and Jose are attracted to each other, and would like to try to see if they can get along, but their first step should be to find an actual counselor and run like the wind from our "experts".

[Yeah No]

11 minutes ago, princelina said:

If this were a real thing I'd agree with you here, but after Jamie O and Basement's wife in season 2 they don't even really try if they're not immediately attracted; they just play the game and the experts waltz in an out with fish bowls and sex games and pretend they are taking this seriously.  So as a rule the "counseling" is as much of a joke as the rest of the show.  I actually do think Rachel and Jose are attracted to each other, and would like to try to see if they can get along, but their first step should be to find an actual counselor and run like the wind from our "experts".

Oh the marriages are still very much real, despite the fact that they take place on this shit show, and the fact that the participants may not treat them as real doesn't make them any less real and "legally binding" as Pastor Cal is always saying.  They can and do get out of the marriages but that still doesn't change what they represent, which is a commitment.  Obviously it's much easier to honor a commitment when you like the person but marriage is supposed to be about honoring that commitment in good times and in bad/sickness/health, and a lot of them are just not willing to doing that with someone they barely know.  You can't really blame them in a lot of cases either, but then why take such a risk in the first place?  

[Lindz]

Myrla seems so different. Like hyper. What's up with that? Is THAT what Johnny brings out of her??? 😂

Edited November 29, 2021 by Lindz

[Lindz]

I'm skeptical of Gil's dramatic exit. He went from talking about his DMs to "not feeing too good." Like. Sure Myrla & Johnny's behavior was disturbing, but still. He couldn't hold it together for the last 10 minutes?? Idk. Too dramatic. Followed by the drama queen... Well, the second one. 😉😂

[pdlinda]

10 hours ago, Lindz said:

Myrla seems so different. Like hyper. What's up with that? Is THAT what Johnny brings out of her??? 😂

AND.....she seems happier and better put together style-wise...so there's that!

[LennieBriscoe]

13 hours ago, VagabondDays said:

At the risk of being hated by all, I am here to go there — to say something wildly unpopular with the hope that a few brave, rare souls will emerge and support me…. I think Brett’s boobs look great.  Yes, they’re low, but they’re plump and out there and I’m into it and would welcome her bringing them into my life.

Better "that a few brave, rare" bras will "emerge and support" Brett!

[qtpye]

13 hours ago, VagabondDays said:

At the risk of being hated by all, I am here to go there — to say something wildly unpopular with the hope that a few brave, rare souls will emerge and support me…. I think Brett’s boobs look great.  Yes, they’re low, but they’re plump and out there and I’m into it and would welcome her bringing them into my life.

I am not saying that you would do this but one of the problems about how Brett presents herself is that she attracts men who want her breasts and not her.

She was crying about how guys like her but do not seem to want serious relationships with her.

I wonder if guys are attracted to the breasts and then dump her once their lust is sated.

Again, I am not saying that this is something you would do or all guys do.

I am just talking as a large-breasted woman, myself, and yes, she does need to get better bra support or she is looking at some back pain issues in the future.

 

[StatisticalOutlier]

On 11/28/2021 at 5:44 AM, LennieBriscoe said:

 I completely disagree. Though I don't have a dog, I know I would not want a large one. Does this mean I would be "terrible" with and towards a Miniature Long-Haired Dachshund? IDTS!!

Maybe it's only if your name is Myrla.

[Nancybeth]

On 11/27/2021 at 11:14 AM, Adeejay said:

I just can’t get over how obsessed Johnny is with Bao. She appears to be living rent free in his head. The thing is, we don’t have any evidence of her being horrible to him, but plenty where he is being a monster to her.  The fact that she is ignoring him seems to be driving him insane. Someone should probably tell him the more he tries to make her look bad, the worse he looks.

During the "Where Are They Now" special, Johnny was complaining that Bao came to the reunion and brought up all these old issues...yeah dude, it was a reality show REUNION. That's literally the point, to rehash everything that happened. But I agree, he's the one who seems obsessed!  

My theory is that Johnny knew from Day 1 that he didn't want to be with Bao but he was determined to try and come out of this the good guy. I do think he tried to be attracted to her but as he once said, if he had wanted to date her they would have already dated. So then he just came up with every possible reason/way to try and pin the inevitable failure of their marriage on Bao...to include saying yes on Decision Day and making her be the one who walked away.

[Katie111]

On 11/27/2021 at 10:41 AM, cinsays said:

what breed is it?  sounds like my kind of dog

It’s a Shichon (shih-tzu, bichon mix).   She is  awesome! 

Edited November 30, 2021 by Katie111

[princelina]

21 hours ago, Yeah No said:

Obviously it's much easier to honor a commitment when you like the person but marriage is supposed to be about honoring that commitment in good times and in bad/sickness/health, and a lot of them are just not willing to doing that with someone they barely know.  You can't really blame them in a lot of cases either, but then why take such a risk in the first place?  

Just a guess but . . . to. be on tv? 😂😂😂

Edited November 30, 2021 by princelina

[Rae Spellman]

34 minutes ago, princelina said:

Just a guess but . . . to. be on tv? 😂😂😂

Being on television is enough for many people. There are other benefits, too. The show pays for a couple of vacations. They get to meet new people who could be friends. They earn a few dollars. If getting married is mostly just a bucket list item, the show helps them cross it off the list. With the exception of Atlanta Erik, they weren't able to find a spouse pre-MAFS. 

[princelina]

7 minutes ago, Rae Spellman said:

Being on television is enough for many people. There are other benefits, too. The show pays for a couple of vacations. They get to meet new people who could be friends. They earn a few dollars. If getting married is mostly just a bucket list item, the show helps them cross it off the list. With the exception of Atlanta Erik, they weren't able to find a spouse pre-MAFS. 

Right?  Amelia admitted what I think a lot of them must be thinking - "It's something to do; it will be fun; if I actually fall in love that would be even better" or something like that.

[LennieBriscoe]

To add: Unlike the "Bachelor" franchises, objective beauty isn't a requirement. Unlike quiz shows, breadth of knowledge isn't a requirement. Unlike games shows, luck is tangential. 

But to marry a stranger on TV and go on a great vacation, get paid, possibly fall in love, and maybe, just maybe, parlay the time spent into a Reality TV career?

All one needs is decent looks, decent job, and decent background. In like Flynn! 

[ByTor]

On 11/27/2021 at 10:41 AM, cinsays said:

what breed is it?  sounds like my kind of dog

Bichon-Shih Tzu mix. Same as my doggo! 

[StatisticalOutlier]

On 11/28/2021 at 12:14 PM, mythoughtis said:

The first year of marriage is rough. Combining two homes into one, getting rid of things one  person saved to buy and was proud of owning.  Deciding who is doing what.  Dealing with idiosyncrasies about toothpaste tubes, what goes where in the dishwasher, etc.  it’s not a happy year even for couples who chose whom to marry.

I feel like I need to add an alternate voice, because I don't think the first year of marriage has to be unhappy. 

Mr. Outlier and I lived in separate houses and sold both of them at the same time to move into a motorhome together and didn't have any of the issues that you mentioned.  This was after five years of dating, when I was 46 and he was 36, so we were well settled into our individual lives, and we were definitely not accustomed to sharing a 400-square-foot living space with another person, or even living in a 400-square-foot living space by ourselves.  We didn't marry (and still haven't, 20 years later), but it was a long-term commitment because we intended to be together forever, we'd sold our houses and bought the RV jointly, and neither of us had somewhere to go back to.

I just want to leave it open for people to believe the first year of marriage doesn't have to be an unhappy year.  And if it is, it might be a good idea to look carefully at why.  If it's things like you're describing that are just annoyances and not core differences, that's fine.  But so many couples fight constantly, and viciously, and actually say, "Well, all couples fight."  Sure, but way too many terrible relationships get papered over by such rationalizations.  And if the mantra is "The first year of marriage is not happy," it could lead to the same thing.

[princelina]

1 hour ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

I feel like I need to add an alternate voice, because I don't think the first year of marriage has to be unhappy. 

Mr. Outlier and I lived in separate houses and sold both of them at the same time to move into a motorhome together and didn't have any of the issues that you mentioned.  This was after five years of dating, when I was 46 and he was 36, so we were well settled into our individual lives, and we were definitely not accustomed to sharing a 400-square-foot living space with another person, or even living in a 400-square-foot living space by ourselves.  We didn't marry (and still haven't, 20 years later), but it was a long-term commitment because we intended to be together forever, we'd sold our houses and bought the RV jointly, and neither of us had somewhere to go back to.

I just want to leave it open for people to believe the first year of marriage doesn't have to be an unhappy year.  And if it is, it might be a good idea to look carefully at why.  If it's things like you're describing that are just annoyances and not core differences, that's fine.  But so many couples fight constantly, and viciously, and actually say, "Well, all couples fight."  Sure, but way too many terrible relationships get papered over by such rationalizations.  And if the mantra is "The first year of marriage is not happy," it could lead to the same thing.

I totally agree.  Being with another person is not always easy - we are only human after all 😄 - but I've never found it to be the "hard work" we're always hearing about either.  I used to call it the "Ricki Lake excuse" where people would come on and expose their partners for cheating, lying etc. and she'd say "Why do you want to be with this person?" and they'd reply, "Well I've invested so much time in this relationship".  Lots of wasted time they could have used to find a partner who liked them and treated them well.  Which is why people who get treated like crap by their spouse on this show should get out!

[kristen111]

On 11/24/2021 at 9:57 PM, Chanel Shoes said:

I don’t believe Gil’s sad act at all.  He might be embarrassed that he was dumped but sad and heartbroken?  Nah.  He wanted to stay married for that Lifetime money.

Yes, and I can’t stand all these couples on pillow talk all the time.  Whatever they say, we already know.  I’m wondering what really happened to Jamie.  All the others are still on, why not her?  What was the clincher?  TMI?  Now I’m really thinking Gil wanted Jamie’s job.  He sure was dressed for it.

 

 

Edited November 30, 2021 by kristen111

[Elizzikra]

Quote

neither of us had somewhere to go back to.

And this is one of my biggest pet peeves with the show - that people go back to their own homes all the time. That just not a possibility for a lot of married couples. I think if there are safety concerns, then sure, the couple shouldn't have to live together. But I think there should be a rule against the couples not staying in the apartment together absent any safety concerns. They don't have to give up their individual homes - that would be ridiculous given the structure of the show (and its dismal success rate) but I think they should put a stop to all the "I needed some space" trips back home during the marriage.

[Katie111]

27 minutes ago, Elizzikra said:

And this is one of my biggest pet peeves with the show - that people go back to their own homes all the time. That just not a possibility for a lot of married couples. I think if there are safety concerns, then sure, the couple shouldn't have to live together. But I think there should be a rule against the couples not staying in the apartment together absent any safety concerns. They don't have to give up their individual homes - that would be ridiculous given the structure of the show (and its dismal success rate) but I think they should put a stop to all the "I needed some space" trips back home during the marriage.

Totally agree.  In the earlier seasons, didn’t they actually move into one of their homes?  These “neutral” apartments almost seem like they are living in a hotel for 2 months.  I think part of their “exercises” should be decorating their space with items from both of their homes.   Make it like a common space rather than just a 2 month vacation in a hotel .

[princelina]

53 minutes ago, Katie111 said:

Totally agree.  In the earlier seasons, didn’t they actually move into one of their homes?  These “neutral” apartments almost seem like they are living in a hotel for 2 months.  I think part of their “exercises” should be decorating their space with items from both of their homes.   Make it like a common space rather than just a 2 month vacation in a hotel .

I think that was only in season 1 - in season 2 (and I'm not sure how many after that) they had to look at a few apartments and pick one together; they only started making them all live in the same place a couple years ago.  But we also found out after the fact that Basement Ryan in season 2 was leaving after filming, supposedly to his mom's basement but actually to his secret girlfriend; they have also started admitting that they leave only a couple years ago.

[Retired at last]

It seemed to me that some of the couples do choose to stay in their show apartment, but others do their own things and show up for filming. I think it makes sense that the couples who are still together probably did stay together during the week. We know that Zack from Zack and Mindy never moved in. Either did Chris last season. Basketball slime guy Matt never really moved in, but, I agree, that we are seeing how frequently the couples come and go a lot more now. It does take away from the whole idea that these "married" couples are together and trying to get to know each other during the 8 weeks, if we know that they only are required to be there for filming on nights and weekends.

I am still unsure how much I like seeing all of the group activities. I like that this is their support group and that most seasons have established friendships, but it also makes it too easy to compare your relationship to the others and not look at it on its own merit. I remember when Jessica and Austin never talked about how they were doing because they didn't want others to feel bad. And then we have Jose and Rachel who can't keep their hands off each other and look how that ended up.

Now I think we are overanalyzing it and it is just a stupid, scripted show that has no purpose other than to keep us talking and tuning into the next season. I think that's why they do 2 seasons a year. We would lose interest too quickly once each season is over.

[Yeah No]

On 11/30/2021 at 10:09 PM, Katie111 said:

Totally agree.  In the earlier seasons, didn’t they actually move into one of their homes?  These “neutral” apartments almost seem like they are living in a hotel for 2 months.  I think part of their “exercises” should be decorating their space with items from both of their homes.   Make it like a common space rather than just a 2 month vacation in a hotel .

I couldn't agree more.  These apartments that are more like hotels are only one example of how the show has gotten further and further away from real life as the seasons progress.  I feel like these couples need external confirmation of the commitment they made and this is one good way to do that.  

Also, I seem to be the only person commenting on this, but the beds in that apartment building this season were super-tiny.  I wouldn't blame any of them for not wanting to sleep in something that cramped with a stranger even if they did just marry them.  And I don't see their small size as encouraging closeness either, in fact, just the opposite.

[Yeah No]

13 hours ago, Retired at last said:

I am still unsure how much I like seeing all of the group activities. I like that this is their support group and that most seasons have established friendships, but it also makes it too easy to compare your relationship to the others and not look at it on its own merit. I remember when Jessica and Austin never talked about how they were doing because they didn't want others to feel bad. And then we have Jose and Rachel who can't keep their hands off each other and look how that ended up.

I think the whole support group thing started out as a good idea and was a positive thing for the participants, but as usual with this show it has morphed into yet another vehicle for show drama in a potentially destructive way for all involved.  The group puts pressure on each other to conform to each other or to live up to an image they want the others to see of them.  I think one part of the problem with Rachel is that she was being pulled toward the single life by Myrla who wanted a buddy to do single activities with like going clubbing, etc.  It wasn't just Jose's behavior that was a problem.  I think the dynamics of this group were different from any other season so far and were potentially more destructive to these relationships than in other seasons.  On the season with Chris, Paige received a lot of support from her other castmates and that was a good thing, but this season the group aspect seemed to be doing more harm to the longevity of these couples than good.

[Retired at last]

@Yeah No, I know you couldn't see me, but I was nodding my head in agreement the who.le time I was reading your post. Good post!