90DF Live Chat 3: I Gave Up Everything To Be Here

[LennieBriscoe]

9 minutes ago, Baltimore Betty said:

Ok, I am done.  I just can't with these morons any more this evening.  I want to read some excellent snark tomorrow so don't let me down!

I am starting prep for a colonoscopy on Tuesday, tomorrow is not solid food then I take the colon blow...ugh. I am counting on you all to take my mind off it all.

You know how in elementary school we held our noses and couldn't  tell if we bit into an apple or an onion? When you chug (yes) the prep, hold your nose.

Edited March 7, 2022 by LennieBriscoe

[RichiesOlderBro]

 

1 minute ago, TMI said:

is ben aging before out eyes?

He’s drooping away. 

Edited March 7, 2022 by RichiesOlderBro

[Armchair Critic]

Ben that wasn't true love, it was lusting after a hot chick online

[Bees52]

Speaking like Viola Davis in "The Help": Ben you is vain, you is crazy and you is not smart.

[magemaud]

18 minutes ago, CrazyInAlabama said:

Anyone wonder if the 'younger sister' at Jasmine's mother's home is actually the oldest of Jasmine's kids?   

I liked when her sister was asked, "What do you think of Gino?..." crickets, then, very slowly, "He's...nice..." 

[GrammyPammy]

Ben is excruciatingly boring. “No stop signs or traffic lights…”

[Doublemint]

1 minute ago, Pepper Mostly said:

I would CHEERFULLY take in a Ukrainian FAMILY, any day. I've taken in my share, several of my son's friends have lived with us, for varying lengths of time. The son in question rented a room from us for a couple of years, he's my son's friend but my kid has distanced himself lately owing to the drinking/issues. Its awkward as fuck and I feel bad for everyone, the relationships are complicated and the new sobriety fragile. And I'm in the middle of it! WHY. Oh well. It'll soon pass. Meanwhile, all of you burn some sage or say a prayer or bark at the moon or whatever suits your spirit best for me!

So sorry for all this!   Just remember it will pass.   Think of the wonderful gift your husband will get you for making you participate in this.  (haha)

[Suzywriter]

1 minute ago, TMI said:

is ben aging before out eyes?

When Mahogany is 30, droopy eye will be 60 what? Even 60 or 62?

[greekmom]

Im shocked he has not quizzed her on things they talked about in their messages.

[tvrox]

47 minutes ago, For Cereals said:

Why are we pretending Mahogs doesn’t speak perfect English? 

Yeah this is ridiculous. What an awkward car ride and for no reason. Her English is great. 

[ExMathMajor]

Okay, Ben? Mahogany is a child (at best) or a scammer (at worst). In either case, a decent, God-fearing man would get on the next plane back to Bumfuck, MI.

[OneGuy]

Ahh, just why I've been watching this show: a theodicy discussion!  Finally!

[sainte-chapelle]

Is Ben mansplaining how to drive…listen you lazy eyed mother fucker, go raise your kids and maybe spend your sex tourist money on their education you decrepit megalomaniac 

[Floatingbison]

1 minute ago, Pepper Mostly said:

I would CHEERFULLY take in a Ukrainian FAMILY, any day. I've taken in my share, several of my son's friends have lived with us, for varying lengths of time. The son in question rented a room from us for a couple of years, he's my son's friend but my kid has distanced himself lately owing to the drinking/issues. Its awkward as fuck and I feel bad for everyone, the relationships are complicated and the new sobriety fragile. And I'm in the middle of it! WHY. Oh well. It'll soon pass. Meanwhile, all of you burn some sage or say a prayer or bark at the moon or whatever suits your spirit best for me!

After I became a sober-a-rino I always want to reach out to people struggling with alcoholism and beat some sense into them, but they can't get better until they're ready, and for some people they never manage to stay sober long term, or even short term.

[Suzywriter]

1 minute ago, LennieBriscoe said:

You know how in elementary school we held our noses and couldn't  tell if we bit into an apple or an onion? When you chug (yes) the prep, hold your nose. 

Then unbutton your pants, grab some books or a tablet and hunker down in the spare bathroom.  When that stuff hits, you will have no time to plan.

[CrazyInAlabama]

Ben's brain is telling him the truth?   Is that what he calls his tiny acorn appendage?  

Mahogany doesn't even know her own back story.   So their texts were written by some 45 year old production guy?   Or were they done before Mahogany got hired, and she didn't read her briefing folder? 

"Mahogany" certainly hates being in the same car with Ben.    So, Ben thinks the religious 22 year-old he's dating, is fine with going away on a trip with him?   You know Ben thinks they won't need the second room.  

I finally agree with Jasmine, Gino is a horrible dancer, and does look like he's dancing with a stick up his ass. 

Edited March 7, 2022 by CrazyInAlabama

[TMI]

Oh Ben is takng Woodgirl on a prayer retreat.

[Mr. Miner]

On this getaway I hope Mahogany might, you know, touch my old wiener.

[Auntie Anxiety]

Ben: Miraculously, when we started talking about God, we had a great conversation.

Me: God works in mysterious ways. Now shut up.

Edited March 7, 2022 by Auntie Anxiety

[RichiesOlderBro]

 

Are we sure Droopy Eye is not starting his very own cult?

[Hotel Snarker]

He literally brought her on this trip to try to have sex with her.

[mmecorday]

"So tomorrow, sand dunes? Do you like pina coladas? Getting caught in the rain?"

[GrammyPammy]

“Gino is the worst dancer ever…” shocker.

He is prancing like a pony, LOL

[LennieBriscoe]

8 minutes ago, tvrox said:

Yeah this is ridiculous. What an awkward car ride and for no reason. Her English is great. 

It's as though she once spent time as an exchange student, her English is so unaccented. 

[Floatingbison]

7 minutes ago, Baltimore Betty said:

Ok, I am done.  I just can't with these morons any more this evening.  I want to read some excellent snark tomorrow so don't let me down!

I am starting prep for a colonoscopy on Tuesday, tomorrow is not solid food then I take the colon blow...ugh. I am counting on you all to take my mind off it all.

Good luck Betty, ....this is the one time you can tell people that you're waiting for the Fleet to come in!

[Auntie Anxiety]

Gino went to the Elaine Benes School of Dance.

[Hotel Snarker]

1 minute ago, mmecorday said:

"So tomorrow, sand dunes? Do you like pina coladas? Getting caught in the rain?"

"Are you not into yoga?"

[Suzywriter]

Memphis!!! Did you really ask an intake question during the proposal?

She has an annoying figure....like an egg on stilts.

[LennieBriscoe]

6 minutes ago, GrammyPammy said:

“Gino is the worst dancer ever…” shocker.

He is prancing like a pony, LOL

Like a Pole pony!

[greekmom]

1 minute ago, Hotel Snarker said:

He literally brought her on this trip to try to have sex with her.

I REALLY REALLY REALLLY hope they caught that on film if he did.

[magemaud]

13 minutes ago, tvrox said:

What is with Colt and his beard? 

I think he's gone Amish

[charmed1]

2 minutes ago, sainte-chapelle said:

Is Ben mansplaining how to drive…listen you lazy eyed mother fucker, go raise your kids and maybe spend your sex tourist money on their education you decrepit megalomaniac 

It really looked like a dad giving his daughter a driving lesson. He was probably hitting the imaginary dad brake pedal.

[Angry Moldovan]

4 minutes ago, sainte-chapelle said:

Is Ben mansplaining how to drive…listen you lazy eyed mother fucker, go raise your kids and maybe spend your sex tourist money on their education you decrepit megalomaniac 

I know you’re hurting but you are on fire tonight. Fire Jerry, Fire 

[Floatingbison]

Mahogany....that's a type of wood isn't it? Speaking of wood.....

[Suzywriter]

3 minutes ago, Mr. Miner said:

On this getaway I hope Mahogany might, you know, touch my old wiener.

She IS named after a woody. 

[Trackdawg]

22 minutes ago, ExMathMajor said:

I need someone to make a meme of Mama Jasmine's face upon hearing that Gino wants her blessing. I need it immediatemente.

Pedid y se os dará 👼

 

[LennieBriscoe]

9 minutes ago, TMI said:

Oh Ben is takng Woodgirl on a prayer retreat.

The jokes, they sometimes write themselves, yo. 

[Auntie Anxiety]

Just now, Suzywriter said:

he has an annoying figure....like an egg on stilts

Those striped leggings are a fashion don’t for her particular body type.

[magemaud]

12 minutes ago, Gobi said:

"Hi, Mahogany! My puppy ran away, can you help me find him?"

"You can trust me, I'm a Youth Pastor!" 

[Pepper Mostly]

16 minutes ago, magemaud said:

On the way to her mother’s, Jasmine saw a street food vendor and made GIno spend $2 on a big bowl of pigs feet then took great pleasure in forcing him to eat it. He refused to try it until she insisted on feeding him a chunk of it. He gagged on it while she sat there smiling smugly. I swear she’s getting revenge for him sending the photos to his ex. 

This fills me with glee. If only there had been a bowl of penis soup handy! 

6 minutes ago, Suzywriter said:

Do you want a healing spell or a get lost spell?

Healing for the son, get lost for the mother! I adore you! 

3 minutes ago, Floatingbison said:

After I became a sober-a-rino I always want to reach out to people struggling with alcoholism and beat some sense into them, but they can't get better until they're ready, and for some people they never manage to stay sober long term, or even short term.

That's my fear. This isn't this kid's first go-round. And he's only 25. 

3 minutes ago, Mr. Miner said:

On this getaway I hope Mahogany might, you know, touch my old wiener.

Its what Jesus would want her to do. 

[Auntie Anxiety]

Hazmat, titties and sexy time aren’t worth this.

[Hotel Snarker]

Don't do it Hamza!

[Frozendiva]

Too bad Mahogany won't check out and drive away, and leave Ben stranded.

[Trackdawg]

1 minute ago, Floatingbison said:

Mahogany....that's a type of wood isn't it? Speaking of wood.....

This is typically your thing, Brudda. Missed it!

 

[magemaud]

Does everyone from Michigan sound like Gino and/or Memphis? 

[greekmom]

3 minutes ago, magemaud said:

I think he's gone Amish

He looks like an ape and a goat had a child.

[Auntie Anxiety]

In the background, I juts saw SteVen chasing a stray cat.

[GrammyPammy]

Memphis is a victim of circus pants.

[greekmom]

Just now, Auntie Anxiety said:

Hazmat, titties and sexy time aren’t worth this.

Hazmat. You can get American titties and sexy time anywhere.

Seriously!! Don't settle

[Doublemint]

Memphis, Serta wants the striped mattress material back, just sayin.