S08.E15: Prisons

[PrincessPurrsALot]

Main topic: Prisons

Also: Post Covid vaccine magnetism ("people are sticky sometimes"), New York Mayoral Race; Someone please stop Stuart Varney from saying "flattery is the mother's milk of television"; Positively Ernie person on the street questions; local car dealership commercials 

Original air date 2021.06.13

[Annber03]

Oh, my god, the whole segment about Mateo getting WAY too detailed about his toilet paper XD. I'm crying. Thanks for sharing, buddy?

Also loved the analysis of local car commercials. I didn't realize that so many around the country followed a similar script. I hope someone takes up John on his offer, I want to see what the hell kind of car commercial script he and his staff could come up with :D.

I loved this line about scrotum guy's ad, too: "That commercial raises a hundred questions and answers absolutely none of them." 

As for the main topic, gee, Whitmire sounds like a charming guy. Sheesh. And if I were Mr. "I Don't Know"'s wife, and I saw that segment and his response to the heart attack question, I'd be calling the nearest divorce lawyer post-haste. 

And yes, the whole, "Well, they're prisoners, so who cares?" thing is infuriating, because, a) the obvious point John made about, y'know, being a decent human being. We shouldn't be as cruel and heartless as some of the criminals we put away. And b) even if one didn't care about, say, child molesters or rapists or so forth...they're not the only ones in these prisons! There are people in there who've committed non-violent crimes. There are people in there who were wrongly convicted and are trying to prove that fact as we speak. And then, as John pointed out, there's also developmentally disabled people, who tend to be very susceptible to abuses of the system. And so on and so forth. And then there's the staff-even if their offices are nice and cool, the officers who have to wander through the cell blocks and check on the prisoners and whatnot have to deal with those unbearable temperatures as well. Even a short time in those conditions would be a problem for a lot of people. 

Like, good god, this is not that complicated to understand. All they want is some air conditioning to make things less uncomfortable, it's not like they're demanding to turn the place into Club Med. But considering Texas is the same state whose government totally dropped the ball (to put it mildly) when said state suffered a deep freeze earlier this year, thus leading to people dying in their homes, well, I'm not surprised at their attitude on this issue as a result. Horrified, yes, but not surprised. 

[ahisma]

1 hour ago, Annber03 said:

Oh, my god, the whole segment about Mateo getting WAY too detailed about his toilet paper XD. I'm crying. Thanks for sharing, buddy?

 

And if I were Mr. "I Don't Know"'s wife, and I saw that segment and his response to the heart attack question, I'd be calling the nearest divorce lawyer post-haste.

But considering Texas is the same state whose government totally dropped the ball (to put it mildly) when said state suffered a deep freeze earlier this year, thus leading to people dying in their homes, well, I'm not surprised at their attitude on this issue as a result. Horrified, yes, but not surprised. 

The toilet paper tiff was the funniest thing the whole show, and probably the whole mayoral race!

Saaaaame! “I don’t know … if I’ll still be married when I get home.”

Even worse, Texas has still done jack squat to improve their electrical grid and they’re expecting some power outages this summer, too. So it won’t just be prisoners dying of heat. 

[Annber03]

20 minutes ago, ahisma said:

Saaaaame! “I don’t know … if I’ll still be married when I get home.”

LOL, exactly. 

Quote

Even worse, Texas has still done jack squat to improve their electrical grid and they’re expecting some power outages this summer, too. So it won’t just be prisoners dying of heat. 

Wonderful :/! Between that and the hideous lack of response to the cold snap, sounds like there's a lot of people in that state that deserve to be voted out of office/removed from their positions. Which no doubt explains why the state government is trying to put crazy tight voter restrictions in place. 

[scarynikki12]

1 hour ago, Annber03 said:

I loved this line about scrotum guy's ad, too: "That commercial raises a hundred questions and answers absolutely none of them

What do you mean you didn’t make it there in time? I WAS DYING.

Ollie I will have you know that black olives are delicious on pizza. It pains me to disagree but it’s true.

Putting in air conditioning is not only the bare minimum in terms of humane treatment but it will create jobs. Politicians love to crow about creating jobs and ignore an easy way to do it because they’d rather treat prisoners like shit. 

[Annber03]

1 minute ago, scarynikki12 said:

What do you mean you didn’t make it there in time? I WAS DYING.

I WAS THINKING THE SAME THING! I was like, "Wait, hold up, what....?". 

Quote

Putting in air conditioning is not only the bare minimum in terms of humane treatment but it will create jobs. Politicians love to crow about creating jobs and ignore an easy way to do it because they’d rather treat prisoners like shit. 

Another excellent point!

[PrincessPurrsALot]

"Green peppers disprove the existence of a loving God"  

@scarynikki12 I am a black olive on pizza fan too.  Ollie can't always be right. :-( 

[Annber03]

I eat plain ol' cheese pizza, myself, so I have no real dog in that fight :p. 

[JustHereForFood]

John's response to that woman with the sticking key was great, starting with the education system. 

I wasn't aware that olives on pizza are controversial. I like them but I loathe the idea of pineapple on pizza : D

Whenever I see people in high positions answering legitimate questions with "I don't know", I get mad. If any manager in any of the jobs I worked at responded like that, they would get demoted at best. And yes, the problem seems to be that people in general don't care whether prisoners are treated like human beings, as was demonstrated in many previous segments.

Regarding the car dealers, I hope someone takes that offer, because I want to see what's in the script. And those Oktoberfest commercials, yikes! What's up with Americans being so gleeful about most stereotypical presentations of every contry? But God forbid anyone would portray them in a similar way!

[Victor the Crab]

8 hours ago, Annber03 said:

And yes, the whole, "Well, they're prisoners, so who cares?" thing is infuriating, because, a) the obvious point John made about, y'know, being a decent human being. We shouldn't be as cruel and heartless as some of the criminals we put away. And b) even if one didn't care about, say, child molesters or rapists or so forth...they're not the only ones in these prisons! There are people in there who've committed non-violent crimes. There are people in there who were wrongly convicted and are trying to prove that fact as we speak. And then, as John pointed out, there's also developmentally disabled people, who tend to be very susceptible to abuses of the system. And so on and so forth. And then there's the staff-even if their offices are nice and cool, the officers who have to wander through the cell blocks and check on the prisoners and whatnot have to deal with those unbearable temperatures as well. Even a short time in those conditions would be a problem for a lot of people. 

 

Sadly, that's not going to change anything. The attitude among people is that if you go to prison, you truly deserve to be there, and deserve to get what's coming to you. And a little thing like overheated prisons in the summertime is something people will give zero fucks about.

WTF Stuart Varney? What actually goes on inside that warped head of yours?

There seems to be a lot of interesting stories Ollie completely overlooked this week. I was expecting him to say something in regards to Jeffrey Toobin's awkward return to CNN this past week. The whole New York mayoral race is not something I find interesting at this point in time!

[paigow]

9 hours ago, scarynikki12 said:

Politicians love to crow about creating jobs and ignore an easy way to do it because they’d rather treat prisoners like shit. 

they are waiting for the biggest kickback offer on the contract...

or trying to go full Shawshank and make the prisoners do the work....

[letter8358]

As if Lou Dobbs wasn't creepy enough......shudders.....

[swanpride]

Top Pizza topping is clearly Pineapple and ham (not necessarily in that order). But honestly...whut? One would think that there are currently more important things to talk. 

Did anyone also pay attention to the expressions of the people behind the sticky lady? A nice variety between being stunned about so much idiocy and second hand embarrassment (or as we would say in Germany, Fremdschämen). 

Maybe the same way I felt about the obsession with "mother's milk"...really?????

Now the prison segment...sadly nothing about this surprises me in any way, it fits right into the other segments LWT did about Prisons (which are quite a collection by now). Dostoyevsky once said that you should judge the degree of civilisation of a society by its prisons. If you do this for the US, then the US is still extremely backwards and barbaric. Especially if you compare their system with Norway, Sweden or even Germany.  For the record, a prison should absolutely be comfortable. The punishment is taking away your freedom, not to put you in years of hell.  

[paigow]

3 hours ago, JustHereForFood said:

Regarding the car dealers, I hope someone takes that offer, because I want to see what's in the script.

Who would turn down a free script? John should have told us how much the dealers had to pay for the Pickle Script

[Annber03]

3 hours ago, Victor the Crab said:

There seems to be a lot of interesting stories Ollie completely overlooked this week. I was expecting him to say something in regards to Jeffrey Toobin's awkward return to CNN this past week. The whole New York mayoral race is not something I find interesting at this point in time!

I liked the segment on the New York race, myself, simply 'cause it's interesting to get a glimpse into another city's races like this in general, especially one with the kind of colorful political history that New York has (alongside the hilarity that was Mateo and the toilet paper, I also loved John referring to Giuliani as "9/11 Nosferatu" :p). But I do agree that there's a lot of interesting stuff happening right now worth covering, too. Perhaps some of those topics are going to be a main segment at some point. 

30 minutes ago, swanpride said:

Did anyone also pay attention to the expressions of the people behind the sticky lady? A nice variety between being stunned about so much idiocy and second hand embarrassment (or as we would say in Germany, Fremdschämen). 

I did! Yeah, whole lotta, "WTF is she going on about?" reactions, indeed. Most people, had they failed so spectacularly  in a public forum like that, would have the good sense to look embarrassed and just sit down and be quiet. But nope, not her! She's just gonna barrel on with this insanity, logic and common sense be damned!

I loved John's absolutely withering mockery of that nonsense. Particularly the part where people like that woman, of all the people in the world, somehow seem to think they have access to this "super sekrit special knowledge" of this evil, dastardly plan by the government to make people magnetic with the vaccines. Some people just need a really good, long break from the internet. 

Quote

Dostoyevsky once said that you should judge the degree of civilisation of a society by its prisons. If you do this for the US, then the US is still extremely backwards and barbaric. Especially if you compare their system with Norway, Sweden or even Germany. 

And people here still can't figure out why our attempts to "spread democracy and human rights" around the world are often met with skepticism and wariness by other countries. We can't take care of people here in our own country, nor do we seem to care about treating certain segments of them like actual human beings...but sure, we'll totally be capable of taking care of people in other countries and treating them well!

[RedbirdNelly]

* I hadn't thought about whether prisons had A/C but kind of assumed they did. I cannot imagine sweltering like that--it's not like a prison is going to have big windows even if there was a nice evening breeze. So kudos to educating us on what seems at first like a mundane fact.

* I also found it interesting the fact bit on how fans don't help much above a certain temperature. I had a summer job working in a non-A/c factory. When it was 100 outside, it was worse inside (working the 5 to midnight shift). They would blast us with fans--and now I'm questioning that. They didn't make you feel cool but perhaps they made it worse? You could work an 8 hours shift, drink multiple tall glasses of water and never need a trip to the bathroom. I at least got to go home after 8 hours. 

* I am not surprised local car dealers are using the same scripts but kind of surprised that many were ok with dressing up as a pickle. 

[Annber03]

9 minutes ago, RedbirdNelly said:

* I also found it interesting the fact bit on how fans don't help much above a certain temperature. I had a summer job working in a non-A/c factory. When it was 100 outside, it was worse inside (working the 5 to midnight shift). They would blast us with fans--and now I'm questioning that. They didn't make you feel cool but perhaps they made it worse? You could work an 8 hours shift, drink multiple tall glasses of water and never need a trip to the bathroom. I at least got to go home after 8 hours. 

I hadn't really considered that before, either, but yeah, thinking back on the times my family lived somewhere where we had fans but not A/C, indeed, that certainly explains why they didn't seem to help much after a certain point. 

[PrincessPurrsALot]

1 hour ago, Annber03 said:

I did! Yeah, whole lotta, "WTF is she going on about?" reactions, indeed. Most people, had they failed so spectacularly  in a public forum like that, would have the good sense to look embarrassed and just sit down and be quiet. But nope, not her! She's just gonna barrel on with this insanity, logic and common sense be damned!

I loved John's absolutely withering mockery of that nonsense. Particularly the part where people like that woman, of all the people in the world, somehow seem to think they have access to this "super sekrit special knowledge" of this evil, dastardly plan by the government to make people magnetic with the vaccines. Some people just need a really good, long break from the internet. 

OK, I was able to put a nickel on my chest without it falling off.  I must be magnetic!  Oh, and if I make it sticky it will stick to my neck too.  Damn you, Covid vaccine!!!!! 🤣

Maybe we should counter by pointing out that magnetizing them will mess up the chip that Bill Gates had implanted with the vaccine.  You know, fight ludicrous with ludicrous.

[smittykins]

12 hours ago, scarynikki12 said:

 

Putting in air conditioning is not only the bare minimum in terms of humane treatment but it will create jobs. Politicians love to crow about creating jobs and ignore an easy way to do it because they’d rather treat prisoners like shit. 

Also so they can play the “You should have thought about that when you chose to break the law” card.

[RedbirdNelly]

I also for a brief second thought the story might be about how climate change was making this an issue for northern states who built their prisons without AC at a time when it didn't get that hot there, but now that we are getting record highs. . . but no, of course, the Southern states are at fault too

[ALenore]

I've got a pretty good guess about how the guy drilled his testicles.  I used to work as a medical transcriptionist and I typed a report on someone who drilled into his thigh.  He was drunk, playing around with a power drill, drilling into a board of lumber he had placed in his lap, and drilled right through it into his thigh. I assume this guy was doing the same thing, just holding the board a bit higher up on his lap.

I don't know what he meant about not making it there in time, I don't think I want to know.

[taanja]

2 hours ago, PrincessPurrsALot said:

OK, I was able to put a nickel on my chest without it falling off.  I must be magnetic!  Oh, and if I make it sticky it will stick to my neck too.  Damn you, Covid vaccine!!!!! 🤣

Maybe we should counter by pointing out that magnetizing them will mess up the chip that Bill Gates had implanted with the vaccine.  You know, fight ludicrous with ludicrous.

Hey! The TV remote now sticks (magnetically!) to my chest -- I'm never gonna lose that bitch again! Thank you Moderna!

[Brandi Maxxxx]

"Car-toberfest"? If they thought about it for even 5 seconds they should have at least come up with "Autoberfest".

[paigow]

19 minutes ago, Brandi Maxxxx said:

"Car-toberfest"? If they thought about it for even 5 seconds they should have at least come up with "Autoberfest".

Merry Carstmas! Check out our Carumbus Day deals! Can you beleaf our Carbor Day prices???

[peeayebee]

16 hours ago, ahisma said:

Even worse, Texas has still done jack squat to improve their electrical grid and they’re expecting some power outages this summer, too. So it won’t just be prisoners dying of heat. 

I came thisclose to moving to Texas last year. Dodged a bullet.

 

17 hours ago, Annber03 said:

I loved this line about scrotum guy's ad, too: "That commercial raises a hundred questions and answers absolutely none of them." 

I wish I could have seen that commercial. I'm pissed that HBO.com/HBOMax.com doesn't have the previous night's LWT. The most current ep on HBOMax right now is the one from May 16. However, on the regular ol' HBO site you can watch the Prison Heat story, but that's it. I was able to watch most of the show on LWT's Facebook page, but stuff was edited out, like that scrotum guy's commercial. I emailed HBO to complain. Like that'll do any good.

 

3 hours ago, RedbirdNelly said:

* I also found it interesting the fact bit on how fans don't help much above a certain temperature. 

Yeah, that was interesting. Something I didn't know and never would have thought of.

The "I don't know" guy was infuriating. I think it was in the second clip of a deposition perhaps where the lawyer was asking him about if he expected any prisoners above the age of 40, and I was hoping the lawyer would continue.

"Do you expect to have any prisoners over the age of 30?"
"I don't know." 
"Do you expect to have any prisoners over the age of 20?"
"I don't know." 
"Do you expect to have any prisoners over the age of 10?"
"I don't know." 

John's recitation of other questions was hilarious.

And, yes, please please please may a local car dealership take up John on his offer. We must see this.

Edited June 14, 2021 by peeayebee

[JustHereForFood]

5 hours ago, RedbirdNelly said:

* I hadn't thought about whether prisons had A/C but kind of assumed they did. I cannot imagine sweltering like that--it's not like a prison is going to have big windows even if there was a nice evening breeze. So kudos to educating us on what seems at first like a mundane fact.

I've never thought about that either. And as someone who hates airconditioning and has to have an open window... I guess I will try to keep out of any country's prison.

[paigow]

1 hour ago, peeayebee said:

And, yes, please please please may a local car dealership take up John on his offer. We must see this.

Maybe the idea is to have 100 different versions of the commercial... and then force all the stations that get mentioned in "Now This" segments to air them for free...

[andromeda331]

I wish I could be surprised by the Prison Heat but I'm not. Putting in air conditioning isn't too much to ask. John Oliver is right most people don't care. 

[Lantern7]

Overheating in prisons was a good topic, and it was long enough to do what John does so well: openly dare people to do stuff.

I'm not into car commercials, but I get the appeal . . . and finding out there's a source for many of the "concepts" is a bit dishearteningly. Bright side: all the "In a Pickle" bits meant John could make a Rick an Morty reference. John voiced a character in the third episode, "Anatomy Park." Good stuff.

9 hours ago, RedbirdNelly said:

I also for a brief second thought the story might be about how climate change was making this an issue for northern states who built their prisons without AC at a time when it didn't get that hot there, but now that we are getting record highs. . . but no, of course, the Southern states are at fault too

*trying hard to feign surprise*

I live within the five boroughs, and I have not done my research on the mayoral candidates. Shit, the tier-choice (or whatever it's called) will also apply to other offices. And yeah, we've churned out some weirdos, haven't we? I think David Dinkins hit his peak insanity when he dressed as Aladdin in an SNL bit. Compared to Rudy, that's not even a drop in a bucket.

[swanpride]

Quote

I hadn't really considered that before, either, but yeah, thinking back on the times my family lived somewhere where we had fans but not A/C, indeed, that certainly explains why they didn't seem to help much after a certain point. 

Fans are fine as long as they are used to transport cooler air into your room, and there is also the old trick to put some ice in front of the fan, but otherwise they are completely useless. Especially when they are hanging from the ceiling. 

I never really thought about it, but keeping a prison cool much be a very special challenge. I mean, the walls are quite thick, right? This is both a blessing and a course, because thick walls can be pretty good in keeping out the heat, but they are also make it nearly impossible to get rid of it once it made its way in. Ideally, you would shadow the windows by day, so that the air can still flow but is cooled down a little bit before entering the building, and open them by night, when it becomes colder outside. The problem with a prison is, though, that it is pretty much impossible to create a proper airflow with all the closed doors, unless you actually think about it while building that thing. 

Oh, and regarding the cartoberfest: It is really, really difficult to offend me. I have kind of accepted a long time ago that American's confuse us either with Bavarians or Nazis. But those commercials really put it on the next level. For one: Oktoberfest is actually celebrated in early November. Two: Those dresses were - a choice. Three: Yeah, we Germans love cars and beer, but that doesn't mean that we love to combine those two. Four: What was this strange dancing supposed to be? We do a lot on Oktoberfest, but square dancing is actually not a feature. The traditional Bavarian dance is a proper Schuhplattler! Five: We don't talk like that! Six: We serve a proper Bratwurst in a proper bread roll, not some sad hot dog in a nasty bun! Plus Bavaria is Weißwurstland anyway. 

[Lantern7]

Forgot to ask: should the show have blurred the contact information in those car commercials?

[lasu]

There's a longer version of the commercial here. The thugnasty person actually comes off as kinda cute with the WE HAVE THE LOWEST PRICES...OK SO WE DON'T BUT WE'LL GET YOU A GOOD DEAL!  Also, when googling that, it looked like there might have been an answer about the drill business, but I declined to know for certain.

[PrincessPurrsALot]

I will admit I found ThugNasty kind of charming in that commercial.  He also did better line readings than most celebrities.  Here is the info he posted on his injury:

Quote

so i was gunna train today but i ripped my nutsack in half. im bout to get stitched up. i was holdn a board over my head with a drill n my pants. i was sizin up the board n the drill went off n tangled my nuts up n it. i dropped the board and reversed the drill and untangled my nutsack but they was ripped n half. im serious too lol. i obviously cant post a pic. but wen my nuts r seald back up ima come train again. i think a high kick would re rip them haha. and if i hear any shitty puns bout how this whole this is nutty or screwed up i aint talked to u for bout a month. if ure gunna drop a pun to make fun of me atleast put sum thot into lol

So, similar to people who shoot themselves by having a gun tucked into their waistband, he drilled his nuts by having a drill tucked into his waistband.  Good reason for a tool belt. 

For the prisons, once a building with thick walls and few windows gets overheated, it is hard to cool down.  However, it is also harder to heat up if it's cool.  I am not surprised so many prisons lack proper HVAC systems.  Like the one person said, "We don't care."  From the series of episodes on the prison system, that is blatantly obvious. 

[peeayebee]

3 hours ago, lasu said:

There's a longer version of the commercial here. The thugnasty person actually comes off as kinda cute with the WE HAVE THE LOWEST PRICES...OK SO WE DON'T BUT WE'LL GET YOU A GOOD DEAL!  Also, when googling that, it looked like there might have been an answer about the drill business, but I declined to know for certain.

Thanks for posting that. Love it. AND he's cute.

[Kel Varnsen]

On 6/13/2021 at 11:47 PM, Annber03 said:

And yes, the whole, "Well, they're prisoners, so who cares?" thing is infuriating, because, a) the obvious point John made about, y'know, being a decent human being. We shouldn't be as cruel and heartless as some of the criminals we put away. And b) even if one didn't care about, say, child molesters or rapists or so forth...they're not the only ones in these prisons! There are people in there who've committed non-violent crimes.

That whole story reminded me of how where I live there was a debate earlier this year about giving inmates priority access to a COVID shot. People were pissed but all I could think of was that if they had higher instances of catching the virus maybe target their first. Plus something like credit card fraud or auto theft (or any crime really) shouldn't be a death sentence. Same with dying from heat stroke. I wouldn't expect a prison I place that gets cold winters to say fuck it we aren't heating the cell blocks.

[xaxat]

Unfortunately, for many people in this country, being humane to prisoners equals being soft on crime. That's not going to change.

I bet John got a ton of dealerships taking him up on his offer. First of all, as as the segment showed, they have no sense of shame. Secondly, the commercial will generate a ton of free media. On John's show, social media and local news.

In other car dealership advertising news, RIP Billy Fuccilllo. The upstate New York advertising legend who passed away last week.

 

[b2H]

Having read all the comments, now, I realize that one point John made is missing from this thread:

The BOP air conditioned the place where the hogs were kept.

I suppose animal rights trump human rights.  That's the only reason I can see for the disparity.