S12.E09: Three Little Words

[Hangin Out]

On 3/10/2021 at 9:37 PM, Mindthinkr said:

Chris should have thought about the ramifications of having a child before he started having all this unprotected sex. 

None of these girls use protection on these shows.  Then, they all act surprised when Aunt Flo doesn’t arrive.  Dumbasses.

[Hangin Out]

2 hours ago, JAndy said:

Haley explained it on Unfiltered. It was going to be a girls night, Erik wanted to go too so he went with Virginia. Ryan came down with Clara and was going to gamble but when he saw Erik, he decided to stay. Haley wanted some space from Jacob so didn’t say anything. They said they didn’t “run away” but kind of glossed over that part. Her explanation to the girls night did seem legitimate though. I could see that happening.   

here’s the link to it on YouTube. It’s towards the end 

 

Who the heck would want a girls night on their honeymoon?  Just because Haleywanted to get away from Jake, doesn’t mean she needs the others with her too.  The purpose of this honeymoon was to get to know one another, not go out with the girls.  That was stupid IMO.  This wasn’t your typical honeymoon.  If I were Jake, I’d get another room and stop the torture.  She’s too hoity toity for him, wants what she wants and does what she wants, and she does not want him.

[JAndy]

4 minutes ago, Silver Bells said:

Who the heck would want a girls night on their honeymoon?  Just because Haleywanted to get away from Jake, doesn’t mean she needs the others with her too.  The purpose of this honeymoon was to get to know one another, not go out with the girls.  That was stupid IMO.  This wasn’t your typical honeymoon.  If I were Jake, I’d get another room and stop the torture.  She’s too hoity toity for him, wants what she wants and does what she wants, and she does not want him.

Oh I’m not saying it’s not silly - just that the situation makes sense with how it went down. She stopped off at Virginia and Erik’s room - those two were getting along so he wanted to come too. Haley just isn’t into him and didn’t want to be alone with him. She probably should just be honest but maybe she is actually trying and isn’t having feelings. 
 

they are pretty painful to watch though. I don’t think they get along well. All of their interactions seem stiff 

[Yeah No]

43 minutes ago, Silver Bells said:

Who the heck would want a girls night on their honeymoon?  Just because Haleywanted to get away from Jake, doesn’t mean she needs the others with her too.  The purpose of this honeymoon was to get to know one another, not go out with the girls.  That was stupid IMO.  This wasn’t your typical honeymoon.  If I were Jake, I’d get another room and stop the torture.  She’s too hoity toity for him, wants what she wants and does what she wants, and she does not want him.

Why is Haley the only one getting called out for wanting a girl's night out?  The other women were in on it too, so I doubt she was the only one arranging it.  It actually sounds to me more like something Virginia would suggest - any excuse for another round of drinks, right? 

And AFAIK Haley told him about it so the only thing he was bugged about is that she didn't call him when the guys showed up.  But the way he treated her about it made it look like a much worse offense than it was.  So she neglected to call him, what's so horrible about THAT, especially when they're probably together most of every day?  Who could blame her for not calling him when he is so oppressive and negative with her all the time?  I wouldn't blame her for wanting to get away from him after all the angry vibes he sends her way, plus the awkward silences.  It bothers me after seeing only a few minutes of it on TV, I can only imagine how awful it would be to live with that 24/7.  He is chasing her away from him!!

Even worse was his reaction to what she did - scolding her like she just committed adultery or something.  He isn't interested in her - if he was he wouldn't treat her like that even after not calling him.  Maybe he might mention it like he was a little hurt, but not be so damned nasty about it!  It's no wonder she wants to get away from him when he acts like that over something that might have only been a little misunderstanding!  

Was what she did really as bad as he made it out to be?  Maybe it was a little mistake or a momentary lack of consideration but he makes such a huge federal case out of every little thing she does and assumes the worst, and frankly I'm surprised that anyone would buy into it.  He's doing it to look like the victim.  Straw man argument again.  Big, bad Haley, leaving him alone like that, how DARE she?  Oh what a TOTAL BITCH she must be, LOL (<-----sarcasm).  How insecure can you GET, Jake? Grow UP.  It's no wonder you're still alone!

Edited March 13, 2021 by Yeah No

[Devvie]

18 hours ago, LuvMyShows said:

Haley - I lived in Australia for awhile, but it didn't work out.

Me - What prompted you to move to Australia?  What kind of work were you doing?  Where did you live?  Did you make any Australian friends or did you hang with ex-pats?  What was the food like?  What kind of transportation did you have?  How would you characterize the people? What ended up going wrong?  How did you make the decision to leave and return to the US?  What was it like when you came back to the US? 

Jake - Did you see a dingo?

-------

Haley - I was in Pamplona for the running of the bulls.

Me - What on earth possessed you to want to do that?  Did you go with friends?  What was your strategy for the running?  Did you see anyone get hurt?  How close did you get to a bull?

Jake - Were you gored?

Brilliant.  Many men would be impressed with that type of independence, success and confidence. Instead, he has to put her down. 

[Crashcourse]

And that "were you gored?" comment was just mean.  I would have gotten up and left his ass.

Edited March 13, 2021 by Crashcourse

[Hangin Out]

35 minutes ago, Yeah No said:

Why is Haley the only one getting called out for wanting a girl's night out?  The other women were in on it too, so I doubt she was the only one arranging it.  It actually sounds to me more like something Virginia would suggest - any excuse for another round of drinks, right? 

And AFAIK Haley told him about it so the only thing he was bugged about is that she didn't call him when the guys showed up.  But the way he treated her about it made it look like a much worse offense than it was.  So she neglected to call him, what's so horrible about THAT, especially when they're probably together most of every day?  Who could blame her for not calling him when he is so oppressive and negative with her all the time?  I wouldn't blame her for wanting to get away from him after all the angry vibes he sends her way, plus the awkward silences.  It bothers me after seeing only a few minutes of it on TV, I can only imagine how awful it would be to live with that 24/7.  He is chasing her away from him!!

Even worse was his reaction to what she did - scolding her like she just committed adultery or something.  He isn't interested in her - if he was he wouldn't treat her like that even after not calling him.  Maybe he might mention it like he was a little hurt, but not be so damned nasty about it!  It's no wonder she wants to get away from him when he acts like that over something that might have only been a little misunderstanding!  

Was what she did really as bad as he made it out to be?  Maybe it was a little mistake or a momentary lack of consideration but he makes such a huge federal case out of every little thing she does and assumes the worst, and frankly I'm surprised that anyone would buy into it.  He's doing it to look like the victim.  Straw man argument again.  Big, bad Haley, leaving him alone like that, how DARE she?  Oh what a TOTAL BITCH she must be, LOL (<-----sarcasm).  How insecure can you GET, Jake? Grow UP.  It's no wonder you're still alone!

The minute Haley walked down that aisle and saw Jake, she did not like him for her.  It happens.  Some people can learn to love, some can’t.  Haley can’t.  She’s not the type to marry someone unseen.  I couldn’t.  It’s a crap shoot.

[Hangin Out]

On 3/10/2021 at 8:43 PM, gonecrackers said:

The process itself is going to force them to keep coming together, or to at least keep trying. He probably doesn't want to waste the effort with someone who has already said she is not attracted to him & obviously doesn't want to take the time to even try. I think they'll stick it out too but it's going to be horribly awkward for all of us.

This show is not for the faint of heart.  It’s cruel at times, if you want to get beaten up.  It’s like a blind date, only there’s a marriage certificate.  

Edited March 13, 2021 by Silver Bells

[gonecrackers]

1 hour ago, Yeah No said:

Why is Haley the only one getting called out for wanting a girl's night out?  The other women were in on it too, so I doubt she was the only one arranging it. 

She's the only one who didn't invite her husband.

1 hour ago, Yeah No said:

So she neglected to call him, what's so horrible about THAT, especially when they're probably together most of every day?

It's their honeymoon, everyone else was with their spouse, & it's just common courtesy to give him the option of attending.

1 hour ago, Yeah No said:

Who could blame her for not calling him when he is so oppressive and negative with her all the time?  I wouldn't blame her for wanting to get away from him after all the angry vibes he sends her way, plus the awkward silences. 

I don't think there were any big issues with them prior to this. Awkward silences are a bit suspicious on this show, but maybe; or maybe editing. We just don't know for sure. Still what she did was rude, & made whatever issues they may have already had, worse.

1 hour ago, Yeah No said:

Even worse was his reaction to what she did - scolding her like she just committed adultery or something.

I agree he's been reactive & not handled it well. I give him some points for wanting to figure it out, but, why bother TBH.  He should have presented it as a 'how it made him feel' type of thing- & calmly. But if it were me I wouldn't have bothered & just left for home at that point.

1 hour ago, Yeah No said:

Was what she did really as bad as he made it out to be?  Maybe it was a little mistake or a momentary lack of consideration but he makes such a huge federal case out of every little thing she does and assumes the worst, and frankly I'm surprised that anyone would buy into it.

It would've hurt me as well; I get it. Like I said he should've handled it differently. But I don't think what he did was that bad either. It was a mistake he made because he was hurt, which he apologized for, but she didn't care & never apologized even it was just a misunderstanding. He's gotten nothing from her on it except self-righteous indignation & defensiveness.

Jake & Haley are such a divisive couple this season, unfortunately.

Edited March 13, 2021 by gonecrackers

[Alexander Pope]

9 minutes ago, gonecrackers said:

She's the only one who didn't invite her husband.

It's their honeymoon, everyone else was with their spouse, & it's just common courtesy to give him the option of attending.

I don't think there were any big issues with them prior to this. Awkward silences are a bit suspicious on this show, but maybe; or maybe editing. We just don't know for sure. Still what she did was rude, & made whatever issues they may have already had, worse.

I agree he's been reactive & not handled it well. I give him some points for wanting to figure it out, but, why bother TBH.  He should have presented it as a 'how it made him feel' type of thing- & calmly. But if it were me I wouldn't have bothered & just left for home at that point.

It would've hurt me as well; I get it. Like I said he should've handled it differently. But I don't think what he did was that bad either. It was a mistake he made because he was hurt, which he apologized for, but she didn't care & never apologized even it was just a misunderstanding. He's gotten nothing from her on it except self-righteous indignation & defensiveness.

Jake & Haley are such a divisive couple this season, unfortunately.

Agreed--I go back and forth on each of them and have come to the obvious conclusion that they're a terrible match and also that I don't much like either of them anymore (I initially was more on his side till he over-reacted), even though I feel for them both.  They bring out the worst in each other.

Edited March 13, 2021 by Alexander Pope
edited for grammar

[Hangin Out]

15 minutes ago, Alexander Pope said:

Agreed--I go back and forth on each of them and have come to the obvious conclusion that they're a terrible match and also that I don't much like either of them that much anymore (I initially was more on his side till he over-reacted), even though I feel for them both.  They bring out the worst in each other.

I don’t think he overreacted.  He spoke his mind honestly.  All she does is smirk with that fake smile and goes about her business.  Furthermore, buying him clothes was a chop on him.  It wasn’t a nice gesture on her part.  He took that pretty well and even tried them on even when he knew what she meant.  Did she do it out of the goodness of her heart?  Hell, NO.  That was a bad move on her part.  She doesn’t like him, wants to get away from him, then buys him clothes.  Doesn’t make sense.

[Hangin Out]

On 3/10/2021 at 7:25 PM, Gator Stud said:

Clara and Ryan.  Ryan, can you please bone this lady?  She really wants you and is starting to feel insecure and desperate.  Clara, you should stop begging for it and act like you no longer want it. I don’t understand why Ryan is making this so difficult since he said he is attracted to her. He seems wound really tight. I wonder if the comments Clara’s friends made to Ryan about how he better have a huge penis has impacted things and have gotten inside his head.

Well, there you go.  I didn’t know that.  Sure, that’s it.  You know how guys think.  Who talks about that in the first place?  That’s a no no.   Maybe he thinks she will blab to everyone when, how and where they finally did it.

Edited March 13, 2021 by Silver Bells

[Boo Boo]

On 3/11/2021 at 11:01 AM, ECM1231 said:

He's just a big ole baby. For heaven's sake, Vinny, lighten up. Briana is so playful and just seems to enjoy life. They could really have a good marriage if he were not so insecure and just went with the flow. I don't like her baby talk however; it's such a stark contrast to her intelligent way of speaking in her TH's. I dunno. They may make it on Decision Day but if I were Briana I'd be looking forward to walking on eggshells all of my life with Vinny as my spouse. 

If he were so adept at dancing the bachata, why didn't HE take HER dancing?  And yeah, mad props to Bri for dancing in those heels. I never mastered walking in them, let alone dancing.

I hope she finds someone else that enjoys life.

I was struck in one of his first episodes where he talked about his lack of a degree was an issue for his ex.  I don't think he's ever recovered from that feeling of inadequacy.  He should either get a degree or get a therapist.

[Ilovepie]

On 3/12/2021 at 7:01 PM, LuvMyShows said:

But why is it rude to visit a friend?  As I understood it, it was around 9 pm and they were in their apt not doing anything in particular, and she decided to visit Paige. 

I was referring to their honeymoon. Not many people say they need a break from their spouse on their honeymoon.

[princelina]

17 hours ago, Ms.C. said:

I really miss the old MAFS when the experts did get involved  and some couples made it despite no attraction at first.  Jamie and Doug, Miles and Karen who hadn’t had sex until after end of filming, Sam who did fall deeply in love with “unattracted to” Neil and others.  This is not Attracted at First Sight.  The producers have turned it into trash.  I’ll still watch. For a while. But no longer addicted.  

Bring experts back and remind them no one promised love at first sight.  What they were doing before wasn’t working.  Get real and put at least be gracious enough to try for partners sake.  Jake came into expecting a partner who would at least try.  FFS, I’m done.  Resign experts. Moneys not worth it.  

Yes!  The premise of the show is that the participants have "tried everything" to find love, and since it didn't work for them they are letting "experts" do the choosing, and listening to their advice rather than making the judgments that keep them breaking up and "not finding love".  So for starters, no one should be in their 20s.  For seconders, they should be reminded even before the weddings that this is the agreement they are expected to stick to.  And for thirds, the experts should be in there helping out and giving advice (especially easy now that we live in a "Zoom" world!)

9 hours ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

I really wish they'd fully explain what happened.  I can imagine that the girls were getting together.  One husband decided to accompany his wife to the lobby or wherever, and another husband decided to do the same thing, and suddenly it's all the girls and some of the husbands, and the husbands stick around a bit (where they might not have if they'd been the only guy in the group), and Haley was thinking (or even wishing) they were just there for a minute, and would be moving on.  And if the husbands moved on and wanted Jake to join them, they'd call him.

Or maybe she was glad the husbands came along and was embracing it and purposely not including Jake. 

There has to be an answer, and I think it's purposely not being shown.

 

9 hours ago, JAndy said:

Haley explained it on Unfiltered. It was going to be a girls night, Erik wanted to go too so he went with Virginia. Ryan came down with Clara and was going to gamble but when he saw Erik, he decided to stay. Haley wanted some space from Jacob so didn’t say anything. They said they didn’t “run away” but kind of glossed over that part. Her explanation to the girls night did seem legitimate though. I could see that happening.   

It's the part they are glossing over that has me on team Jake!  A "girls night" on your honeymoon is silly for normal people, but OUR COUPLES (TM the experts 😄 )may want or be told to do that on their honeymoons.  So she's doing it; Jake has no problem with it.  I buy that the other guys (who were on their honeymoons and liked their wives!) wanted to go along.  But I agree with Jake that if that happened you would think she'd call up and let him know plans had changed and the guys were now a part of it.  If she didn't want to be alone with him - not a problem in this situation.  It has now become a group date.  She didn't do that, and as I said, if it were me that's where I'd be done.  Jake also said that when he went down and found them there they just all scurried away as fast as they could.  That's the part they are "glossing over" - "Oh I'd never do that" sez them on Unfiltered.  So what went down then?  Why aren't we told?  I think his feelings were really hurt, and I'm totally the type of person that would happen to, so unless they give better explanations I'm on Jake's side of the story for this.

6 hours ago, Yeah No said:

And AFAIK Haley told him about it so the only thing he was bugged about is that she didn't call him when the guys showed up.  But the way he treated her about it made it look like a much worse offense than it was.  So she neglected to call him, what's so horrible about THAT, especially when they're probably together most of every day?  Who could blame her for not calling him when he is so oppressive and negative with her all the time?  I wouldn't blame her for wanting to get away from him after all the angry vibes he sends her way, plus the awkward silences.  It bothers me after seeing only a few minutes of it on TV, I can only imagine how awful it would be to live with that 24/7.  He is chasing her away from him!!

At that point she was happy to try out having sex with him, so he couldn't have been that bad before this incident.  I actually totally get wanting some time to yourself, and I don't hate Hayley, but what happened was rude and hurtful to Jake, and it was her fault, and even if she wanted a break she frankly should have remembered that they were being filmed, which would make her look like an ass, and make him feel like an even bigger ass for not being invited on the outing.  If it had happened to me you would all be thinking I'm a bigger jerk that you're thinking Jake is.  That's all I'm saying.

Edited March 14, 2021 by princelina

[Ilovepie]

26 minutes ago, princelina said:

It's the part they are glossing over that has me on team Jake!  A "girls night" on your honeymoon is silly for normal people, but OUR COUPLES (TM the experts 😄 )may want or be told to do that on their honeymoons.  So she's doing it; Jake has no problem with it.  I buy that the other guys (who were on their honeymoons and liked their wives!) wanted to go along.  But I agree with Jake that if that happened you would think she'd call up and let him know plans had changed and the guys were now a part of it.  If she didn't want to be alone with him - not a problem in this situation.  It has now become a group date.  She didn't do that, and as I said, if it were me that's where I'd be done.  Jake also said that when he went down and found them there they just all scurried away as fast as they could.  That's the part they are "glossing over" - "Oh I'd never do that" sez them on Unfiltered.  So what went down then?  Why aren't we told?  I think his feelings were really hurt, and I'm totally the type of person that would happen to, so unless they give better explanations I'm on Jake's side of the story for this.

I feel exactly the same way. He did overreact, but he apologized for it. She hurt his feelings; whether intentionally or not, it still happened. She did not apologize. That is really what bothers me. 

[princelina]

11 minutes ago, Ilovepie said:

I feel exactly the same way. He did overreact, but he apologized for it. She hurt his feelings; whether intentionally or not, it still happened. She did not apologize. That is really what bothers me. 

For me it's not even that she didn't apologize - maybe she's not sorry, and she probably wouldn't be sincere.  It would make her look better, but if she worried about that she'd have called him up once it was no longer a girls' night.  But if they all want to be considered "innocent" in this matter - why did you all run away?  Saying "I would never do that" isn't an explanation since it happened!  I feel like since no one is actually addressing that charge, that's where the hurtful behavior lies . . .

[Yeah No]

5 hours ago, gonecrackers said:

She's the only one who didn't invite her husband.

I thought the other guys just happened to show up - no one invited them.

5 hours ago, gonecrackers said:

It's their honeymoon, everyone else was with their spouse, & it's just common courtesy to give him the option of attending.

Neglecting to observe common courtesy shouldn't earn you out-of-proportion abusive behavior and a ration of shit over it.  ESPECIALLY on your honeymoon and ESPECIALLY when you only just met the person!  Geesh, he went for blood with her in the 1st WEEK!  He really didn't give her the benefit of any doubt whatsoever.  Red flag!

5 hours ago, gonecrackers said:

I don't think there were any big issues with them prior to this. Awkward silences are a bit suspicious on this show, but maybe; or maybe editing. We just don't know for sure. Still what she did was rude, & made whatever issues they may have already had, worse.

The point is that we don't know her real motivation.  All we know is the way Jake THINKS she was motivated.  What she says in defense is dismissed as BS.  I'm not dismissing it.  Even if it was rude, he's overreacting, I'm sure of that.  And the way he acted gave her plenty of justification in wanting to be away from him regardless of whether she was rude to him in the first place.  

6 hours ago, gonecrackers said:

I agree he's been reactive & not handled it well. I give him some points for wanting to figure it out, but, why bother TBH.  He should have presented it as a 'how it made him feel' type of thing- & calmly. But if it were me I wouldn't have bothered & just left for home at that point.

He comes off as pissy and controlling and his reaction to her only made her dislike him even more, with good reason.  If somebody's not digging on you , the worst thing you can do is give them even more reason not to like you.  He may have had a chance if he didn't return his feeling of rejection with nastiness.  IMO it only further pushed her away.

6 hours ago, gonecrackers said:

It would've hurt me as well; I get it. Like I said he should've handled it differently. But I don't think what he did was that bad either. It was a mistake he made because he was hurt, which he apologized for, but she didn't care & never apologized even it was just a misunderstanding. He's gotten nothing from her on it except self-righteous indignation & defensiveness.

He apologized for it but then goes right back into acting the same way over other situations.  Jake sees a hammer and turns everything into a nail.  He keeps grinding the same old saw all the time.  I see his behavior as abusive and completely disrespectful.  He is too quick to assume the worst of her in every situation and proceed to chastise her over it.  I don't think she owes him an apology after being treated so badly.  And I'm giving her that benefit of the doubt on her motivations, too.

[coconutcookie]

I wonder if Haley and Eric would have been a better match.

[qtpye]

2 hours ago, coconutcookie said:

I wonder if Haley and Eric would have been a better match.

It really seems like they would be but Eric seems to be head over heels for Virginia to the befuddlement of everyone else...so who knows?

[bref]

2 hours ago, coconutcookie said:

I wonder if Haley and Eric would have been a better match.

Not sure. He's pretty intense about the whole "marriage" thing.

I can't warm up to Jake OR Haley, so I guess I'm team nobody.

[JAndy]

3 hours ago, coconutcookie said:

I wonder if Haley and Eric would have been a better match.

Nah I’m not sure. I think that he and Virginia work well together oddly enough. He seems to really be into her. Says that she brings that “color” to life - which I don’t think Haley really does. We may see a different Erik with Haley. I think Virginia is bringing a more fun side to Erik out (but also a more paranoid side sometimes too lol). I think those 2 will actually work out in the end 

4 hours ago, Yeah No said:

I thought the other guys just happened to show up - no one invited them.

Erik started it by inviting himself along lol. He and Virginia were probably drunk already in their room 😂. At that point they both seemed to be drinking a lot

[Hangin Out]

On 3/11/2021 at 2:41 PM, Empress1 said:

I agree. I've thought so since the end of honeymoon dinner when he was like, fuck all this drama, I just want my food to get here (I'm paraphrasing). I would put Ryan second.

Yes.  He saw it was all ridiculous.  Jake could have went off on Haily when she gave him the shirts.  You could see on his face that it was the wrong thing to do, but he went along with it to keep the peace.  Haily thinks she’s more sophisticated than him, but he’s got it all over her.  He let her have it after the plane situation straight out, and she was furious.  Maybe no one ever put her in her place before?  They should just come to an understanding to ride it out nicely for the remainder of the experiment.  Btw, where are the “experts” during this time?  Embarrassed?

[Hangin Out]

9 hours ago, Ilovepie said:

I was referring to their honeymoon. Not many people say they need a break from their spouse on their honeymoon.

True.  What some people don’t understand is that Jake has feelings too.  Everything is about Haley.  That’s 3 times Haily left Jake alone.  When she went downstairs without him,on the plane she sat in a different seat for 5 hours, and when she went to see Paige.  Three strikes you’re out.  Any other guy would have blasted her too.  They made fun of his clothes, his house, his neon lights, his choice of music, etc.  Nobody has made fun of the other guys, except Chris.  Their haircuts, their t- shirts, their drinking, etc.

[Hangin Out]

9 hours ago, princelina said:

For me it's not even that she didn't apologize - maybe she's not sorry, and she probably wouldn't be sincere.  It would make her look better, but if she worried about that she'd have called him up once it was no longer a girls' night.  But if they all want to be considered "innocent" in this matter - why did you all run away?  Saying "I would never do that" isn't an explanation since it happened!  I feel like since no one is actually addressing that charge, that's where the hurtful behavior lies . . .

They all knew it was rude that one husband wasn’t there, so they ran away from embarrasment.

[gonecrackers]

10 hours ago, Yeah No said:

I thought the other guys just happened to show up - no one invited them.

Not sure about all of them on that. But once there, she should've realized she was the only one w/o & at least given him the option to come down & join them.

10 hours ago, Yeah No said:

Neglecting to observe common courtesy shouldn't earn you out-of-proportion abusive behavior and a ration of shit over it. 

We'll have to agree to disagree on these two because I don't see anything about Jake that has been abusive - he's been over the edge but he's apologized. She's hurt his feelings & continues to jerk him around- no apologies, & doesn't care; gets mad if called out for it. Kinda borderline on her behavior though... JMO.

But having watched this show for years I am open to the fact that things can change, & then we'll see what happens! 😬

[KateHearts]

On 3/11/2021 at 10:10 AM, Racj82 said:

Also I may sound callous but I'm tired people saying they are bad at things like relationships because they didn't have any personal good examples. Stop with that. Even if your examples are bad, those are the examples. Do the opposite. I watched my dad throw away a great marriage by cheating. I saw what it did you my mom. I've seen countless friends to the same to people over the years. Which is why I've always been determined to the opposite. You don't hurt the one you love. 

I like this. But I think anyone can go in either direction based on their parents and the examples they see as children.  There are children of alcoholics who end up sadly drinking their lives away like Mom and Dad; and there are those who become CEOs because they are determined to overcome and be better than what they know. We see a lot of people on My 600 lb Life who blame their addictions to food on terrible childhoods. 

As for Virginia's example- yeah, her parents split (and didn't they remarry at some point or something weird?) but what bothers me is Erik is using that as a way to be the "supportive savior" who says "I'm so proud of you for realizing your childhood was dysfunctional," but rather than helping her to move on, he seems to be accepting that her shortcomings are not her fault because, well- her parents screwed up. I could see that coming up again and again. 

Paige, Paige, Paige:  I wish I could have written your lines for you. How many times did she and Chris get together and have these round-and-round, non-conversations? "I just wanted to know what you are filling..." "I put my heart and soul into this..."  Here's what she should have said probably on the honeymoon, after he ditched her, told her he wasn't attracted to her, announced the impending bundle of joy:

"Chris, you have lied, used me, contradicted yourself and acted like a selfish fool since the wedding. This is ridiculous and no one should treat another human being that way.  GOODBYE." What's with all this back and forth- he thinks he might fall in love?  And the DRAAAMAAAH- "I'm scared, yo! Ynow what I'm sayin'?" And does he REALLY worry about not raising his own kid? Obviously he doesn't think about the actual responsibility of potentially impregnating every woman he bangs and he is NOT thinking about the welfare of any woman, child, or any living thing.  His reaction to the pastor talking to Paige was absolutely infantile. "He made me mad! I'm not talking to him anymore!!"  He's horrible. But she is stupid.

I didn't really get the point of Clara, the cookie dough, the doughnuts and the life philosophy talk Ryan was giving. I am going to chalk it up to choppy editing to make her look like a rude, piggish, selfish woman who cares more about junk food than having a serious discussion. I think someone who is always overthinking would push me in the direction she went. Lighten up!

[Adeejay]

21 hours ago, Yeah No said:

Why is Haley the only one getting called out for wanting a girl's night out?  The other women were in on it too, so I doubt she was the only one arranging it. 

Big, bad Haley, leaving him alone like that, how DARE she?  Oh what a TOTAL BITCH she must be, LOL (<-----sarcasm).  How insecure can you GET, Jake? Grow UP.  It's no wonder you're still alone!

Jake said that he saw Haley and the other couples when he went down to get something to eat. I would bet good money that the reason he went down was to spy on Haley. The very next morning he accused her of having a man, so he probably thought she went to meet someone.  

[Yeah No]

14 hours ago, coconutcookie said:

I wonder if Haley and Eric would have been a better match.

I think Haley would be too boring for Eric.  Their dynamic would make us all AND them fall asleep, LOL.  Eric loves having someone that can light him up like a Christmas tree.  Without Virginia we'd be checking for a pulse, LOL.  She is the the perfect counter for his generally inward nature. 

[Yeah No]

4 hours ago, gonecrackers said:

We'll have to agree to disagree on these two because I don't see anything about Jake that has been abusive - he's been over the edge but he's apologized. She's hurt his feelings & continues to jerk him around- no apologies, & doesn't care; gets mad if called out for it. Kinda borderline on her behavior though... JMO.

I think the accusations he pulls out of thin air about her are insulting and I'm not seeing where they're coming from.  I think people are assuming he's justified because why would he just make such accusations if she didn't deserve them?  But that's the thing, I don't think she deserves them - I'm just not seeing it.  I'm seeing her as trying to create distance from him because of his paranoia, not because she is just jerking someone around for no good reason.  I think she really wanted to make this work, but he keeps sabotaging it.  I think what people are interpreting as him reacting to her not trying with him is the result of paranoia that he has stored up from his negative experiences with other women.  He wrongly adds up her behavior to be the same as what might have happened to him in the past, but he barely knows this woman and already he's reacting to her like she has been doing all these horrible things to him for weeks on end.  At the time he started in on her they didn't even know each other a WEEK.  That tells me this is coming from his own baggage.  The fact that she is trying to create distance from him is not undeserved, IMHO.

But I agree with you, we just have to agree to disagree on them.

46 minutes ago, Adeejay said:

Jake said that he saw Haley and the other couples when he went down to get something to eat. I would bet good money that the reason he went down was to spy on Haley. The very next morning he accused her of having a man, so he probably thought she went to meet someone.  

Yup, just another example of his misplaced paranoia jumping to insulting and incorrect conclusions about her.

[ladyscorpio]

It's tricky to know who will actually stay together with this group, I thought Vinnie and Briana would at first but now seeing his tantrums and mood swings, I'm not so sure. I also thought Ryan and Clara would make it, but it seems like Ryan gets tired of her personality and not being serious enough. Clara seems like she's getting tired of his seriousness all the time and rigid behavior.  For Haley and Jake, I knew from day one she wasn't going to be attracted to him. I don't think his face is attractive, he kinda looks like Popeye in the face. I think it was rude of her to not tell him all the husbands were there hanging out at the supposed "girls night" . That would make me mad too. It's obvious she didn't want him there. And if she didn't know the husbands were going to be there,  she could've easily called him and told him to come hang out with everyone. That is messed up. She keeps wanting him to apologize for things he said or done but she never once apologized for lying to him about that night. I think she does come off as stuck up and she thinks she's above him. I think he kept asking about how she feels about him because he doesn't want to waste his time trying if she's completely checked out.  I'm not on his side either, I do think he's got a strange personality and is hard to start a conversation with. I think she should never have went on this show knowing she wants to come and go as she pleases and doesn't want anyone saying anything.  She's not ready to be married. I see him trying in the beginning more but has slowed down seeing that it's not going to change how she feels about him.  It makes it worse that they had slept together one time and after that her whole attitude changed. Why? Was he bad in bed? Was he tiny? She never talks about what happened an what was so awful. I agree with everyone wondering why Eric is so enamored with Virginia. I don't get it. I never have. The wedding day when she had that horrible purple makeup not even blended at all and her hair all messy, getting sloshed from the beginning, I thought there's no way he's going to be attracted to her. Plus her immaturity and her being wasted around his conservative family. She always looks like she sleeps in her makeup and doesn't wash her face the next day, and keeps the same yesterday's makeup on. Her skin looks bad. She looks aged. All that drinking is going to wreak havoc on her looks and body.  I think Eric can do 100 times better! He is intelligent,  would be a great husband and father and would provide anything her heart desires. He's too good for her. She doesn't deserve him. It was annoying how she was bugged that he would have a problem with her getting wasted and sleeping at guys houses. That shows you how immature she is and she's acting like they're dating and not husband and wife. I do think when time goes on, he will get tired of her always partying when he's gone working and will see how she really is and won't want to have to act like a parent to a child. I don't think he's at all acting too controlling, it's her immature mind saying he is. They should've paired him with someone older and more mature and that's not an alcoholic.  Aren't Haley and Virginia the same age? I could be wrong but if they are,  you can see the difference in maturity in these two. As far as Chris and his ex goes, they just wanted to meet with Paige to be on tv. I liked Paige but she's looking like a fool letting him play with her like a boomerang. She needs to cut him off for good 100% and go on with her life. Get her self esteem back up and be with a guy that will treasure her.

[gonecrackers]

Perhaps I've forgotten - can someone please enlighten me as to what problems (other than not connecting) were happening between Jake & Haley BEFORE she deliberately did not invite him downstairs while the group was together? He had to go down to get food & found them & they scattered like ants; bunch of shits IMO, Haley #1 shit. Then after that there was an encounter with accusations, etc, which he apologized for, but that was *after*. But if there was something he did to her that was really bad BEFORE this incident, I'd really like to know because maybe I missed it.

Again, nothing about him being 'boring' or 'weird', because if that was the only thing provoking her assholery she (& the group apparently) need to grow up.

[Hangin Out]

4 hours ago, gonecrackers said:

Neglecting to observe common courtesy shouldn't earn you out-of-proportion abusive behavior and a ration of shit over it. 

Oops, mistake.  

 

 

 

 

[Hangin Out]

29 minutes ago, Yeah No said:

I think the accusations he pulls out of thin air about her are insulting and I'm not seeing where they're coming from.  I think people are assuming he's justified because why would he just make such accusations if she didn't deserve them?  But that's the thing, I don't think she deserves them - I'm just not seeing it.  I'm seeing her as trying to create distance from him because of his paranoia, not because she is just jerking someone around for no good reason.  I think she really wanted to make this work, but he keeps sabotaging it.  I think what people are interpreting as him reacting to her not trying with him is the result of paranoia that he has stored up from his negative experiences with other women.  He wrongly adds up her behavior to be the same as what might have happened to him in the past, but he barely knows this woman and already he's reacting to her like she has been doing all these horrible things to him for weeks on end.  At the time he started in on her they didn't even know each other a WEEK.  That tells me this is coming from his own baggage.  The fact that she is trying to create distance from him is not undeserved, IMHO.

But I agree with you, we just have to agree to disagree on them.

Yup, just another example of his misplaced paranoia jumping to insulting and incorrect conclusions about her.

I’ll bet many husbands would do the same if their wives kept disappearing without them.  On a honeymoon no less.  I’d like to see what she would say dare someone do that to her.

[Hangin Out]

2 minutes ago, Silver Bells said:

I’ll bet many husbands would do the same if their wives kept disappearing without them.  On a honeymoon no less.  I’d like to see what she would say dare someone do that to her.

Dare I ask if it was Haley who’s fiancé got another girl pregnant while they were engaged, or was it some other girl?  There was something like that mentioned in the beginning, but I’m not sure if it was Haily.  If it wasn’t, I apologize.

[gonecrackers]

2 minutes ago, Silver Bells said:

Dare I ask if it was Haley who’s fiancé got another girl pregnant while they were engaged, or was it some other girl?  There was something like that mentioned in the beginning, but I’m not sure if it was Haily.  If it wasn’t, I apologize.

I thought it was a bf, but yes it was Haley.

[Hangin Out]

On 3/11/2021 at 11:19 AM, qtpye said:

think she did him a big favor picking out those shirts.  In the future, maybe he'll have better luck finding a woman when he's dressed in normal casual wear, instead of those (unfunny and maybe even off-putting to some people) "message" t-shirts.   

Ryan wore the same message shirt four times.  Nobody said anything about him.

[Hangin Out]

3 minutes ago, gonecrackers said:

I thought it was a bf, but yes it was Haley.

Oh, so it was her.  He got someone else pregnant while going with Haley?  WOW.  So maybe she doesn’t trust men and is taking it out on Jake?  Interesting.  So she could have a hang up too and maybe needs therapy.  Still waters run deep.
 

 

 

[gonecrackers]

Just now, Silver Bells said:

Oh, so it was her.  He got someone else pregnant while going with Haley?  WOW.  So maybe she doesn’t trust men and is taking it out on Jake?  Interesting.  So she could have a hang up too and maybe needs therapy.  Still waters run deep.
 

 

 

Wasn't she single for a long time afterward? I can't recall.

Jake had women use him, which he admitted to being a trigger when he got upset with Haley.

They both probably needed more time on their own & not this show.

[Baltimore Betty]

1 minute ago, Silver Bells said:

Oh, so it was her.  He got someone else pregnant while going with Haley?  WOW.  So maybe she doesn’t trust men and is taking it out on Jake?  Interesting.  So she could have a hang up too and maybe needs therapy.  Still waters run deep.
 

 

 

Seems TPTB thought putting these two wounded people together would be a "misery loves company" kind of thing.  Jake is still scorned from some past relationship (he might have been slighted by not being included in something and so he is bitter about not being included in everything) and Hayley finds it hard to want to trust men. 

In my unprofessional opinion, they needed to fix themselves separately before they agreed to marry anyone.

How can you set your sights on other people if you are not at the top of your game and then expect the other person to be the best they can be, it is a recipe for disaster as we are seeing.

[Hangin Out]

33 minutes ago, gonecrackers said:

Perhaps I've forgotten - can someone please enlighten me as to what problems (other than not connecting) were happening between Jake & Haley BEFORE she deliberately did not invite him downstairs while the group was together? He had to go down to get food & found them & they scattered like ants; bunch of shits IMO, Haley #1 shit. Then after that there was an encounter with accusations, etc, which he apologized for, but that was *after*. But if there was something he did to her that was really bad BEFORE this incident, I'd really like to know because maybe I missed it.

Again, nothing about him being 'boring' or 'weird', because if that was the only thing provoking her assholery she (& the group apparently) need to grow up.

She sleeps with him, has sex, then throws him under the bus.  What the hell?  Makes him look inadequate.  No wonder he’s disgusted.  Then buys him clothes.  Make up your mind Sister and stop pulling his chain.  She’s the one that needs therapy.  You can’t go around treating people this way.  It is mean.

 

 

 

 

[Crashcourse]

16 minutes ago, Silver Bells said:

Ryan wore the same message shirt four times.  Nobody said anything about him.

I think it was a Black Lives Matter shirt.  I think he wore a jacket over it, at least that's what I saw on Unfiltered.  

I'd still take that over Get A Job (Jake's).

[Hangin Out]

9 minutes ago, gonecrackers said:

Jake had women use him, which he admitted to being a trigger when he got upset with Haley.

Haley’s fiancé got someone else pregnant while engaged to her.  Guess he didn’t love her that much.

[gonecrackers]

3 minutes ago, Silver Bells said:

Haley’s fiancé got someone else pregnant while engaged to her.  Guess he didn’t love her that much.

People like that only love themselves.

[Hangin Out]

3 minutes ago, Crashcourse said:

I think it was a Black Lives Matter shirt.  I think he wore a jacket over it, at least that's what I saw on Unfiltered.  

I'd still take that over Get A Job (Jake's).

Well, I wear a Micky Mouse shirt, so ...... I’m guilty too. 

[gonecrackers]

11 minutes ago, Baltimore Betty said:

How can you set your sights on other people if you are not at the top of your game and then expect the other person to be the best they can be, it is a recipe for disaster as we are seeing.

People get together all the time who have issues, but, they choose each other. It could be a disaster, or not I guess, but people with issues thrown together in this type of situation is a recipe for disaster. How many people who sign up for this won't have issues though...

Edited March 14, 2021 by gonecrackers

[Racj82]

2 hours ago, KateHearts said:

I like this. But I think anyone can go in either direction based on their parents and the examples they see as children.  There are children of alcoholics who end up sadly drinking their lives away like Mom and Dad; and there are those who become CEOs because they are determined to overcome and be better than what they know. We see a lot of people on My 600 lb Life who blame their addictions to food on terrible childhoods. 

There are two ways you can go about everything.

Over the years, I've learned to look at things like following into addiction differently because that sometimes becomes an issue no matter what.

But, if you examples of something like marriage or relationships are bad, use that. Pay attention to the bad involved. Like I'm not going to look at people around me cheating but still getting partners that want to be with them as a good thing. I think about what that cheating does to the other party. Fight against that instead of the part that is obviously wrong. Learn from the bad things even if that's your only example.

[Hangin Out]

4 minutes ago, gonecrackers said:

People get together all the time who have issues, but, they choose each other. It could be a disaster, or not I guess, but people with issues thrown together in this type of situation is a recipe for disaster. How many people who sign up for this won't have issues though...

I was engaged to another before my husband, and to this day, he still brings it up and wants details.  In fact, he used to spy on me walking to the train in the morning thinking maybe I was walking with the ex as we lived close to each other.  That was his problem in his mind, not mine.  I was a good girl, hahaha.

[Hip-to-be-Square]

20 minutes ago, Silver Bells said:

Well, I wear a Micky Mouse shirt, so ...... I’m guilty too. 

I wear Hello Kitty shirts to bed and around the house so I'm also guilty! 🙂

[Hangin Out]

7 minutes ago, Hip-to-be-Square said:

I wear Hello Kitty shirts to bed and around the house so I'm also guilty! 🙂

My favorite place to go .. Orlando.  Can’t because of Covid.  I’m very upset. 😞