S02.E22: Never Stop Fighting

[Kath94]

6 hours ago, Neurochick said:

I laughed at that too.

But, if Bini had told Ari to stand on the sidelines while he went to get the holy water, Ari would have been pissed that Bini left her standing on the sidelines with the baby.  You can't win with her.  She's SOOOOO anxious, I really think she needs to seek therapy before her anxiety starts to ooze out of her an onto Avi.

I thought that, too! "Bini, go do your thing, get sprayed with holy water, etc.  Avi & I will just hang out here where it's not so crowded or noisy, and you can find us when you're done."  No, she had to make them all leave because SHE was uncomfortable.  I could understand over stimulation, too hot, too crowded, not my thing, but it was just that Ari didn't want to be there.

[judylo]

1 hour ago, Kath94 said:

I thought that, too! "Bini, go do your thing, get sprayed with holy water, etc.  Avi & I will just hang out here where it's not so crowded or noisy, and you can find us when you're done."  No, she had to make them all leave because SHE was uncomfortable.  I could understand over stimulation, too hot, too crowded, not my thing, but it was just that Ari didn't want to be there.

Well, Bini wouldn’t give her the baby.

[Neurochick]

2 hours ago, alotmorestupider said:

I need to add that it’s insane that Ari can’t just go home and let Bini enjoy the celebrations alone. I was tired and anxious a lot when my babies were little but there’s no need for two people to be at home missing the fun. 

Because if Bini told her to stay home, she'd be angry; notice how quickly she left his brother's home, handed the baby to Bini's sister and then ran out looking for him to tell him that she loved him.

The ageism on this board is making me feel uncomfortable.  Unless you die you're going to get old.  I don't get Sumit's mother AT ALL.  Would she rather her son marry Brittany, or Ari or Deavan?

[lilmarysunshine]

7 hours ago, Neurochick said:

Something about the line I bolded bugs me.  It's like saying, "stick to your own kind."  😝

Well, to be fair, that was precisely the issue his parents had with his choice of Brittany. She was an American and not Muslim - did not share the same values, etc. Lots of the problems we see in this franchise deal with people who are having trouble navigating the cultural/religious/socioeconomic divides. Marrying "local" mitigates a lot of that.

[configdotsys]

On 11/28/2020 at 12:04 PM, Neurochick said:

I feel a bit for Ari because I get the feeling she has inherited her mother's anxiety.  If she's not careful, she'll give it to Avi and he'll be a bundle of nerves.  Bini doesn't get her because he doesn't share her anxiety.  Maybe being super anxious is mostly an American thing?  I don't know.

I think it's a combination of anxiety and entitlement. Ari speaks to Bini like he's a moron. She barks orders at him. I find it so insulting. From her snark at the price of cars there to bringing up baby, she thinks that because she is American that he should defer to her on that basis alone because she comes from a first world country so of course she knows better, is smarter and all that. 

Bini has no clue wtf Ari is being so neurotic about because it's not shocking to see little babies at that festival cramped together and people pushing. That is just the way life is there. Telling Bini that it was overstimulating for the baby.... overstimulating? He was asleep the whole time. "I want you to enjoy the holiday, but..." there's always a but in there for Ari and the but usually means that it's all about her. She expected them both to go home. No compromise there like maybe: "This is really important to you so we'll go for a bit and then I will take Avi home because it's hot/crowded/etc.." No, it was "WE need to go home." I'm sorry but her, "it only takes one person to bang into him and he's damaged for life..." Oh please with the drama. Bini had him secure in that harness. Part of me thinks that Bini needs to grow a pair but he's probably living in constant fear that she'll just leave him and he'll never see the kid again if he doesn't give her what she wants. Contrast that with his family expecting her to bow to everything that he wants and oh boy, it must be fun there.

I don't really get an anxiety vibe from Ari's mother. I get an "I was her BFF and spoiled her rotten so she has no idea how act like an adult" vibe. Throw in Ari cutting herself and being self-destructive and the coddling of her only intensified.  

I had forgotten that this week was the finale and have to say that I didn't particularly care. I love Armando and felt terrible for Yazan but that was about it.

[TzuShih]

On 11/28/2020 at 4:57 PM, greekmom said:

Only here to see the drama with Jenny/Sumit/Parents Summit.  Hopefully they do not disappoint me.

I think that Sarah McLaughlan should remake that ASPCA ad with an image of JENNY reaching out for hope.  Surely, SOMEONE following what she has been through will want to adopt her and give her a loving home.  ❤️

[Dahlia]

Sticking to your own kind is fine if that’s what you want and making that suggestion is pretty good advice in many of these ill fated pairings, they already have so much working against them, lack of common sense, education, empathy, intelligence etc that ‘own kind’ thing  might be the magic needed to make a relationship last.

[the-grey-lady]

Nothing about the Jenny/Sumit "compromise" makes sense to me.

Sumit's mother threatens to kill herself if he marries Jenny, so Sumit agrees to...just live with Jenny forever? How will that ease Mom's humiliation about her son living with an "old woman"? Is it just the actual marriage she cares about?

Also, Sumit's mother is a shrew. Threatening suicide to get what you want is horribly manipulative and cruel.

[Teri313]

I've just started watching, but so far...

So Jenny leaves the room and says she’s giving up, she can’t do this to this family, she’s going back to the U.S. She’s going to sacrifice her happiness so the family can come back together and heal. And that lasted for, what……..10 minutes? Then she’s back in the living room duking it out with MotherSumit? And she keeps insisting that the mother LOVED her when she stayed at their house for FOUR months (first of all, who does that???), but she’s conveniently leaving out that the parents had no idea that she was carrying on a relationship with Sumit when she was there. Also, did she really live with these people for four months and they didn’t speak each other’s languages?  This family also seems to throw around suicide pretty freely. I can’t take it seriously.

When Brittney says about Yazan, “he got us into hot water by not making me aware of the stakes we were up against” – uh, Brittney! Yoohoo! Dopey! You’re the one expecting to marry into this faith and culture, and even though you were told that your online persona is way over the top for these people, you said who cares and kept doing it. You knew that you’re lifestyle was a problem for them. Maybe not to the lethal extent it was, but even I know about honor killings, and I’ve never been there or been engaged to someone from there. I guess I’m disappointed that it seemed like she was starting to understand and have some sympathy for the situation he is in, but then in the end she blames him. I give up.

 

[RealReality]

This is one of the few times I totally feel for Ari.  The nanosecond I saw that crowd and that crush of people, I would have noped right out of there.  And I don't have a diagnosed anxiety disorder, as I think she does.  I just do not like crowds. 

I do have questions about the holy garden hose though, like do they just bless a faucet and then attach the garden hose?  

Is there something special about spraying people with it, why not just have like a spring where people can get the holy water without having to crowd around a platform?  

Also, when does the lemon throwing happen?  Are lemons common in Ethopia?

ETA: I DO hate that Ari is always using the baby as a crutch.  The anxiety is HERS, SHE doesn't want to hang out with his family all day.  I don't think she is particularly worried about the baby, but I think its a conveinent excuse to blame Bini for HER feelings.  There MUST be a therapist somewhere in Ethopia that can explain Ari's anxiety to Bini.  I don't thikn she can because there is a language barrier and the concepts are complicated, so he needs someone to explain what she is going through in HIS language.  

Edited December 1, 2020 by RealReality

[RealReality]

1 hour ago, the-grey-lady said:

Nothing about the Jenny/Sumit "compromise" makes sense to me.

Sumit's mother threatens to kill herself if he marries Jenny, so Sumit agrees to...just live with Jenny forever? How will that ease Mom's humiliation about her son living with an "old woman"? Is it just the actual marriage she cares about?

Also, Sumit's mother is a shrew. Threatening suicide to get what you want is horribly manipulative and cruel.

Summit essentially did the same thing to get his way.  He kept telling his mom he almost killed himself and it sounds like he had told her this on multiple occasions to get her to accept the divorce.  

I think the Summit compromise makes perfect sense.  Summit doesn't want to marry Jenny.  Think of how many times he has dragged his feet and why did he insist on involving his parents knowing full well that they would never agree?  Because he wanted to have an excuse to say that he couldn't marry Jenny.  

Jenny can talk all the mess she wants, but she isn't leaving Summit.  She will go back to the US, sponge off her daughter and save up enough money until she can go back to India for another six months.  She will continue to insist that Summit "standing up for their love" means something because really wants for this to work out.  

For my part, Summits mom may be manipulative, but jenny is a shit too.  Her proclamations about how gracious and kind these people were to her as she sponged off them for six months and she went behind their back didn't make her look very good at all.  These people paid for the clothes on her back, they treated her like family and this is how she repaid their kindness?  And she constantly casts them as the villains of the story, but she just looks worse and worse to me.  Go home Jenny.  JFC.  

[RealReality]

How are Devan and Jihoon home all day and that apartment looks like a fucking pig sty?  Maybe if they worked on that it would distract from their marital problems.  

[Adeejay]

4 hours ago, Neurochick said:

Because if Bini told her to stay home, she'd be angry; notice how quickly she left his brother's home, handed the baby to Bini's sister and then ran out looking for him to tell him that she loved him.

Ari flew out of the bar like a bat out of hell because production told her that Bini planned to propose, and she was about to blow it. She went from being royally pissed to professing her love in less than 20 minutes. Talk about whiplash, Bini’s head must have been spinning.

[RealReality]

Jihoon is about to go home and play some video games.  What a fucking disaster. 

[RealReality]

23 hours ago, Sir RaiderDuck OMS said:

So does this mean we can expect Brittany and Yazan on the mothership show in a year?

Meanwhile, Sumit will soon realize that now that his mother knows a suicide threat will work, he can expect more of them anytime he doesn't do what she wants.

Jihoon and Deaven will likely never occupy the same room ever again.

I'd like to think so, because despite everything I don't want Yazan to get hurt and I'm not sure how upset these tribal leaders are.  But I'm not sure what kind of feelings there are about granting any visa to Jordanian citizens.  

[endure]

25 minutes ago, Teri313 said:

I've just started watching, but so far...

So Jenny leaves the room and says she’s giving up, she can’t do this to this family, she’s going back to the U.S. She’s going to sacrifice her happiness so the family can come back together and heal. And that lasted for, what……..10 minutes? Then she’s back in the living room duking it out with MotherSumit? And she keeps insisting that the mother LOVED her when she stayed at their house for FOUR months (first of all, who does that???), but she’s conveniently leaving out that the parents had no idea that she was carrying on a relationship with Sumit when she was there. Also, did she really live with these people for four months and they didn’t speak each other’s languages?  This family also seems to throw around suicide pretty freely. I can’t take it seriously.

When Brittney says about Yazan, “he got us into hot water by not making me aware of the stakes we were up against” – uh, Brittney! Yoohoo! Dopey! You’re the one expecting to marry into this faith and culture, and even though you were told that your online persona is way over the top for these people, you said who cares and kept doing it. You knew that you’re lifestyle was a problem for them. Maybe not to the lethal extent it was, but even I know about honor killings, and I’ve never been there or been engaged to someone from there. I guess I’m disappointed that it seemed like she was starting to understand and have some sympathy for the situation he is in, but then in the end she blames him. I give up.

 

Very apt description of Brittany = DOPEY 🙂

[RealReality]

These guys 20 minuets late with that banner.  LOL.  

[RealReality]

Adam has got to be the most pleasant translator on this entire series.  Can he come to the US too, I love his accent.  

[RealReality]

14 hours ago, Dobian said:

I loved the smirk on Sumit's mom's face when she realized her suicide gambit paid off.  She was going to kill herself....riiiiiight.

ha ha, I thought I was the only one who saw that.  She wasn't even going to give herelf a paper cut over this.  

But this is what the family does.  Sumit used past suicidal...thoughts? to guilt his mother.  They play this game and I'd bet the brother is delighted to be married and away from that drama.  

4 hours ago, TzuShih said:

I think that Sarah McLaughlan should remake that ASPCA ad with an image of JENNY reaching out for hope.  Surely, SOMEONE following what she has been through will want to adopt her and give her a loving home.  ❤️

OMG, its literally raining on their parade!

Summit really has it all figured out.  All he had to do was give Jenny some random gold plated ring, make zero promise to marry her and she is ECSTATIC.  

She never once stopped to think about how many times she told Summit not to involve his parents, how many times she told him that they wouldn't approve, why didn't he want to just have a quiet wedding ceremony and tell his parents later.  Hell, they could have just gotten married and told no one.  If he WANTED to marry her, he would marry her.  But Summit insisted that they tell his parents because he wanted his mother to be the bad guy so he could keep Jenny around without having to marry her.  

I wonder whats going to happen when she goes back to the US?  Will Sumits mother threaten to kill herself if he doesn't marry a local girl?  Are any local girls willing to be with Sumit after he dumped his first wife for a 62 year old floozy?  Its a little like Henry VIII, after he divorced his first wife to marry his second and then beheaded his second wife, a lot of princesses were like "yeah, thats cool, but no thanks, I don't want to end up divorced or beheaded"  Like does any decent girl in the village want to take a chance on a guy who publicly humiliated his wife?  

And I'm not sure why they think Sumit is such hot property that he can get a younger, attractive woman from another country.  

They may just have to make lemonade out of life's lemons and accept Jenny as Summit's....side chick.  

[mamadrama]

13 hours ago, Neurochick said:

Something about the line I bolded bugs me.  It's like saying, "stick to your own kind."  😝

I can see why that might bug you. If his religion, family's opinion, and location mean so much to him, though, then a local person who fits into those parameters might be a better fit. It would be easier than trying to change Brittany into something she's not. At this point he can either accept her for who she is or find someone who's more in line with what he's expecting out of a relationship. 

[nutella fitzgerald]

14 hours ago, Neurochick said:

What they should have said was, "Sumit, Jenny, go on and get married, but we'll never help you financially."  

The threat of not supporting them financially may have had more teeth before they bailed him out to the tune of $20,000.

[readheaded]

4 hours ago, RealReality said:

I'd like to think so, because despite everything I don't want Yazan to get hurt and I'm not sure how upset these tribal leaders are.  But I'm not sure what kind of feelings there are about granting any visa to Jordanian citizens.  

I don't want Yazan to get hurt, either.  He seems very vulnerable and like he'll be waiting for Brittany to pursue the visa, whereas I wouldn't be surprised if Brittany came back to the US and blocked his number, never to talk to or think about him again.  She seemed done when she left, even if she didn't want to say it outloud.  Unfortunately, Yazan was still hopeful she'd work it out so they could be together.

[Neurochick]

6 hours ago, mamadrama said:

I can see why that might bug you. If his religion, family's opinion, and location mean so much to him, though, then a local person who fits into those parameters might be a better fit. It would be easier than trying to change Brittany into something she's not. At this point he can either accept her for who she is or find someone who's more in line with what he's expecting out of a relationship. 

Thank you for that comment.

This is just my little two cents and not 100% correct but, I think one issue is that in the US, the happiness of the individual is the most important thing.  All of our movies and TV shows are about people finding love, people being happy; that's the most important thing.  But in countries like India or Jordan, Mexico, Ethiopia , the happiness of the family/community is the most important thing.  That's why Jenny can't understand Sumit's mother, or why Brittany can't understand  Yazan's family.  They're like, "We're in love and that's the most important thing, why can't THEY understand it."  They can't understand it because that's not how their culture rolls.   Many people see American culture as selfish; many Americans see Indian and other cultures as repressive.

[faraway]

I do not see Ari as suffering from "anxiety"- I see her as immature and not ready to be living in a foreign country, not ready to be physically separated from her parents, not ready to take care of a baby, not ready to be married. IMO, she just doesn't have the best personality. She reminds me of myself when I was younger! Explaining away her problems as "anxiety" is too simple. Hopefully she will grow up fast, gaining the ability to do the right thing for herself, her baby and her partner.

ETA- I was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder when I was younger (younger than Ari), so I know how horrible it is to have one, but I don't believe what she is manifesting is anxiety- or at least all anxiety.

Edited December 1, 2020 by Ms. Me

[Teri313]

29 minutes ago, Ms. Me said:

I do not see Ari as suffering from "anxiety"- I see her as immature and not ready to be living in a foreign country, not ready to be physically separated from her parents, not ready to take care of a baby, not ready to be married. IMO, she just doesn't have the best personality. She reminds me of myself when I was younger! Explaining away her problems as "anxiety" is too simple. Hopefully she will grow up fast, gaining the ability to do the right thing for herself, her baby and her partner.

ETA- I was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder when I was younger (younger than Ari), so I know how horrible it is to have one, but I don't believe what she is manifesting is anxiety- or at least all anxiety.

BINGO. That's it.

[AZChristian]

16 hours ago, Kath94 said:

I thought that, too! "Bini, go do your thing, get sprayed with holy water, etc.  Avi & I will just hang out here where it's not so crowded or noisy, and you can find us when you're done."  No, she had to make them all leave because SHE was uncomfortable.  I could understand over stimulation, too hot, too crowded, not my thing, but it was just that Ari didn't want to be there.

I am under 5' tall, and a crowded elevator makes me crazy because I'm at everyone's armpit level and can't see anything but people.  That crowd scene would have been very uncomfortable for me.

Had I been in that Ethiopian situation, I'd have said exactly what you recommended Ari should have said.  "Avi and I will be over there under that tree.  Please enjoy your tradition.  Take your time.  I love you."

What got me was at one point she stated firmly, "We need to go.  I am not happy."  Can someone show me in the instruction manual for adult life that one is guaranteed to be made happy all the time?  If two people are in a situation and they are not in agreement, why does Ari get to be the one who needs to be happy?  Doesn't the happiness of the father of her child count for anything?  It's called compromise, Ari.  We know it's a foreign concept to you, but you've probably got a long life ahead of you, and it will be better for you to learn this concept.

[Neurochick]

1 hour ago, Ms. Me said:

I do not see Ari as suffering from "anxiety"- I see her as immature and not ready to be living in a foreign country, not ready to be physically separated from her parents, not ready to take care of a baby, not ready to be married. IMO, she just doesn't have the best personality. She reminds me of myself when I was younger! Explaining away her problems as "anxiety" is too simple. Hopefully she will grow up fast, gaining the ability to do the right thing for herself, her baby and her partner.

ETA- I was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder when I was younger (younger than Ari), so I know how horrible it is to have one, but I don't believe what she is manifesting is anxiety- or at least all anxiety.

I think she's an immature brat, but I also think she's anxious and I hope she doesn't put that on Avi.

[magemaud]

On 12/1/2020 at 12:36 AM, Teri313 said:

And she keeps insisting that the mother LOVED her when she stayed at their house for FOUR months (first of all, who does that???), 

Ummm, Jenny, because she has no money and mooches off people. Make sure you keep your virginal sons locked up from this seemingly innocuous houseguest. 

 

On 12/1/2020 at 12:50 AM, Adeejay said:

Ari flew out of the bar like a bat out of hell because production told her that Bini planned to propose, and she was about to blow it

“We’re filming the finale today, so we have to stage the proposal RIGHT NOW!” Cue the banner, oops! 

Edited December 4, 2020 by magemaud

[magemaud]

12 hours ago, RealReality said:

 

Jihoon is about to go home and play some video games.  Wh

 

I wonder if he plays against that other worthless man child, Asuelu, or maybe Pedro. They could have a 90 Day gaming group while they all avoid adult responsibilities 

my Brittany/Yazan theory is that production realized things were getting dangerous so their way of getting out of the situation was to come up with the K1 visa alternative. We all know that’s never going to happen, especially since Yazan doesn't want to leave Jordan. I predict this will just fizzle out and we will never see them again.  

Edited December 1, 2020 by magemaud

[Neurochick]

7 minutes ago, magemaud said:

my Brittany/Yazan theory is that production realized things were getting dangerous so their way of getting out of the situation was to come up with the K1 visa alternative. We all know that’s never going to happen, especially since Yazan doesn't want to leave Jordan. I predict this will just fizzle out and we will never see them again.  

I hope so.  Brittany has a new Instagram page.  I don't need to see her ever again.  Just like Yazan said, Brittany will go back to the US and forget all about Yazan; maybe she'll start hanging out with Deavan.  😁

 

[1011101010001]

On 11/30/2020 at 9:40 AM, Madding crowd said:

 

I think Sumit’s parents are emotionally abusive. Threatening to commit suicide if your son chooses to marry someone you don’t like?

 

Especially when we know that Sumit was actually suicidal.  He may commit suicide over his mother’s fake suicide threat.

[My Girls]

I actually appreciate Ari's protection of little Avi.  There are SO many bad parents and I just don't think she's one of them.  I get angry when I see that I protect my little Chloe Dog more than some parents protect their children.  That festival was maybe a little more rambunctious than she anticipated.  I'd be getting my baby out of there too.  Pronto.  It doesn't occur to Bini at all that a situation might not be safe for such a little one. 

[lilysmom]

16 hours ago, Dahlia said:

Sticking to your own kind is fine if that’s what you want and making that suggestion is pretty good advice in many of these ill fated pairings, they already have so much working against them, lack of common sense, education, empathy, intelligence etc that ‘own kind’ thing  might be the magic needed to make a relationship last.

And I think it really works if you want your spouse to have EXACTLY the same ideas, thoughts, philosophy of child rearing, earning power, housing,  religious beliefs, language, family structure/ties as you have, to stick with someone who shares those things with you. My guess would be that it would be difficult for me to move half way around the world and find someone who shares those things with me. If we are both willing to adapt and compromise, it may work. It doesn't seem like any of the couples are willing or can do that, especially the US citizens.

[lilysmom]

14 hours ago, the-grey-lady said:

Nothing about the Jenny/Sumit "compromise" makes sense to me.

Sumit's mother threatens to kill herself if he marries Jenny, so Sumit agrees to...just live with Jenny forever? How will that ease Mom's humiliation about her son living with an "old woman"? Is it just the actual marriage she cares about?

Also, Sumit's mother is a shrew. Threatening suicide to get what you want is horribly manipulative and cruel.

Quick question, hoping someone will know the answer: Is threatening suicide/committing suicide a cultural thing in this part of the world? I'm not being callous, just wondering. It seems to me there was some talk that Sumit had either threatened this or tried before so his parents would give him money for his divorce. (I hope I just didn't make that up.) Or could it be a family thing/threat?

[Burning Rubber]

I get why Britney is having second thoughts. I know I would.

Yazan barely speaks English and is an unskilled laborer. He will be shunned by his family. Just a man alone with few connections and no prospects. A man who was raised with very different cultural norms and doesn't seem anxious to break from them.

It's a high effort, high cost, low reward relationship  

If she loves him, she will set him free.

[magemaud]

1 hour ago, lilysmom said:

It seems to me there was some talk that Sumit had either threatened this or tried before so his parents would give him money for his divorce.

You remember correctly, Sumit THREATENED suicide if he couldn’t get out of his arranged marriage, but I don’t think he would have acted on it. That must be something his family bandies about for dramatic purposes

[TrininisaScorp]

3 hours ago, magemaud said:

16 hours ago, Teri313 said:

And she keeps insisting that the mother LOVED her when she stayed at their house for FOUR months (first of all, who does that???), 

Ummm, Jenny, because she has no money and mooches off people. Make sure you keep your sons locked up from this seemingly innocuous houseguest. 

A couple more thoughts as a South Asian American:

1) We treat guests very well.  Like, super well.  All the stuff Jenny mentioned is easily what I would see my mom doing for ANY house guest (family or non family).  So, it isn't special, and her clinging to that is sad.  Plus, it may all have been before auntie-ji realized you were banging her useless son.  Then?  All bets are AWF. 

2) South Asian culture is one of, IMO, hyperbole.  The amount of times I have heard "Oh, you want to kill your mother?" when I do something that my parents disagree about.  Suicide is serious shit, and there are somethings that shouldn't be said in jest or to exaggerate a point.  It is fucked up, but it is a somewhat normative part of the culture, IMO.  I will say my generation tries to counter that with respectful answers, but it a hardship.  There is a pretty legit bit that a comedian does that illustrates the thing:   Sidhu Vee  "You put 2 spoons of chocolate in the milk, fine, I'm going to beat myself to death. You stay here an enjoy your milk."  I am not saying it is right (in fact, I think it is very wrong), but it isn't as abnormal as you may think. 

Edited December 1, 2020 by TrininisaScorp

[Teri313]

1 hour ago, TrininisaScorp said:

A couple more thoughts as a South Asian American:

1) We treat guests very well.  Like, super well.  All the stuff Jenny mentioned is easily what I would see my mom doing for ANY house guest (family or non family).  So, it isn't special, and her clinging to that is sad.  Plus, it may all have been before auntie-ji realized you were banging her useless son.  Then?  All bets are AWF. 

2) South Asian culture is one of, IMO, hyperbole.  The amount of times I have heard "Oh, you want to kill your mother?" when I do something that my parents disagree about.  Suicide is serious shit, and there are somethings that shouldn't be said in jest or to exaggerate a point.  It is fucked up, but it is a somewhat normative part of the culture, IMO.  I will say my generation tries to counter that with respectful answers, but it a hardship.  There is a pretty legit bit that a comedian does that illustrates the thing:   Sidhu Vee  "You put 2 spoons of chocolate in the milk, fine, I'm going to beat myself to death. You stay here an enjoy your milk."  I am not saying it is right (in fact, I think it is very wrong), but it isn't as abnormal as you may think. 

My grandmother was like that, always with the "You'll be sorry you treated me like this when I'm dead!" And it didn't matter what it was about. It could be anything - like when I was five and I refused to eat the liver and onions that she made for dinner. I'm going to say it - I loved my grandmother, but after she died, I never felt sorry about not eating that liver. I just didn't! lol So as far as Sumit goes, he seems to be taking it seriously - or is he? When she says she's going to commit suicide, Jenny says that's a terrible thing to say, and then Sumit goes, "Yeah. It's a really, a big thing, when my mom said that if I marry Jenny, she gonna kill herself. I don't know whether she's serious or not, but what if she even gonna try. I don't want to be a reason for her to even think about that or even try to do something." And then he immediately gives the marriage plan up altogether - no marriage now, just living with Jenny. Now I'm wondering if this was planned between him and his mom to help him get out of marrying her.

Edited December 1, 2020 by Teri313

[Wanda]

 

Just now, Wanda said:

Finally watching the episode and I’m pretty sure summit had his face tilted down to hide a smile when he had to say he could never marry Jenny because he couldn’t risk his mothers’ death

 

 

but Jenny just needs to wait it out. After all, she’s convinced she will outlive his parents

 

Edited December 1, 2020 by Wanda
My tablet doesn’t like the word summit

[lilysmom]

2 hours ago, TrininisaScorp said:

A couple more thoughts as a South Asian American:

1) We treat guests very well.  Like, super well.  All the stuff Jenny mentioned is easily what I would see my mom doing for ANY house guest (family or non family).  So, it isn't special, and her clinging to that is sad.  Plus, it may all have been before auntie-ji realized you were banging her useless son.  Then?  All bets are AWF. 

2) South Asian culture is one of, IMO, hyperbole.  The amount of times I have heard "Oh, you want to kill your mother?" when I do something that my parents disagree about.  Suicide is serious shit, and there are somethings that shouldn't be said in jest or to exaggerate a point.  It is fucked up, but it is a somewhat normative part of the culture, IMO.  I will say my generation tries to counter that with respectful answers, but it a hardship.  There is a pretty legit bit that a comedian does that illustrates the thing:   Sidhu Vee  "You put 2 spoons of chocolate in the milk, fine, I'm going to beat myself to death. You stay here an enjoy your milk."  I am not saying it is right (in fact, I think it is very wrong), but it isn't as abnormal as you may think. 

Thank you for your insight!

[RealReality]

10 hours ago, MrBuhBye said:

Especially when we know that Sumit was actually suicidal.  He may commit suicide over his mother’s fake suicide threat.

Can you imagine the fights at their house "I'll kill myself if you make me eat these peas!"  "Not if I kill myself first!" "I almost killed myself  when you made me clean the bathroom!" "Professor, if I don't get at least a B+ in this class, I will kill myself!  I'll do it!  I'll suffocate on chalk dust from the erasers!"  "I want these jeans, but they are so expensive, if you don't sell them to me for $15...I'll kill myself!  In this store, I'll do it!  Don't dare me!"

5 hours ago, Teri313 said:

My grandmother was like that, always with the "You'll be sorry you treated me like this when I'm dead!" And it didn't matter what it was about. It could be anything - like when I was five and I refused to eat the liver and onions that she made for dinner. I'm going to say it - I loved my grandmother, but after she died, I never felt sorry about not eating that liver. I just didn't! lol So as far as Sumit goes, he seems to be taking it seriously - or is he? When she says she's going to commit suicide, Jenny says that's a terrible thing to say, and then Sumit goes, "Yeah. It's a really, a big thing, when my mom said that if I marry Jenny, she gonna kill herself. I don't know whether she's serious or not, but what if she even gonna try. I don't want to be a reason for her to even think about that or even try to do something." And then he immediately gives the marriage plan up altogether - no marriage now, just living with Jenny. Now I'm wondering if this was planned between him and his mom to help him get out of marrying her.

This is terribly controversial, but liver is disgusting so I feel like your grandmother was setting you up.  No five year old is down for liver.  I'm much older and I won't eat liver and onions.  

[RealReality]

18 hours ago, readheaded said:

I don't want Yazan to get hurt, either.  He seems very vulnerable and like he'll be waiting for Brittany to pursue the visa, whereas I wouldn't be surprised if Brittany came back to the US and blocked his number, never to talk to or think about him again.  She seemed done when she left, even if she didn't want to say it outloud.  Unfortunately, Yazan was still hopeful she'd work it out so they could be together.

The only thing that relationship has going for it is that Brittney likes attention and wants to be on TV.  Jordan was cramping her style because she couldn't have her ass and tits out and twerking and getting crunk wasn't allowed.  If Yazan comes to the US, Brittney gets the best of all worlds.  But then, he really can never go home. 

Every religion seems to have some means of forgiveness and coming back into the fold after you've "sinned."  I cannot believe that Yazan's family wouldn't take him back if he recommitted to Islam.  If religions only accepted perfect and flawless people there wouldn't be a congregation.  

[Teri313]

33 minutes ago, RealReality said:

Can you imagine the fights at their house "I'll kill myself if you make me eat these peas!"  "Not if I kill myself first!" "I almost killed myself  when you made me clean the bathroom!" "Professor, if I don't get at least a B+ in this class, I will kill myself!  I'll do it!  I'll suffocate on chalk dust from the erasers!"  "I want these jeans, but they are so expensive, if you don't sell them to me for $15...I'll kill myself!  In this store, I'll do it!  Don't dare me!"

This is terribly controversial, but liver is disgusting so I feel like your grandmother was setting you up.  No five year old is down for liver.  I'm much older and I won't eat liver and onions.  

Right?! I have told my husband this story, but he doesn't get it because he loves liver and onions. I was five, and the liver was so gross to me. I don't want to make my grandmother seem terrible, but she made me sit at the table with the liver after everyone else went into the living room to watch Disney. But I stared it down until she came back in and told me to go to bed. lol Yeah, I never felt bad about (sort of) winning that battle.

[RealReality]

1 minute ago, Teri313 said:

Right?! I have told my husband this story, but he doesn't get it because he loves liver and onions. I was five, and the liver was so gross to me. I don't want to make my grandmother seem terrible, but she made me sit at the table with the liver after everyone else went into the living room to watch Disney. But I stared it down until she came back in and told me to go to bed. lol Yeah, I never felt bad about (sort of) winning that battle.

Your husband is clearly a not a human.  I mean if he makes you happy it doesn't matter, but liver is objectively gross to the human palate.  Now, maybe its tasty to the Martian palate, I cannot know.  LOL.  

Your grandmother wasn't terrible, she was just old school.  If you saw some of the disgusting old home remedies and food my mother made us choke down in the name of "genearl health" you'd think she was a monster...or a Martian.....LOL.  

I also wonder why anyone thinks the onions even help.  If you're eating liver, it doesn't matter what you try to dress it up with, all youre tasting is disgusting liver.  LOL.  Save that onion for a hamburger!

[Baltimore Betty]

7 hours ago, RealReality said:

Every religion seems to have some means of forgiveness and coming back into the fold after you've "sinned."  I cannot believe that Yazan's family wouldn't take him back if he recommitted to Islam.  If religions only accepted perfect and flawless people there wouldn't be a congregation.  

Like most restrictive religions the woman will be blamed as the evil temptress and Yazan will be welcomed back in the fold.

[lilysmom]

8 hours ago, RealReality said:

 

I also wonder why anyone thinks the onions even help.  If you're eating liver, it doesn't matter what you try to dress it up with, all youre tasting is disgusting liver.  LOL.  Save that onion for a hamburger!

Or, even better, a hot dog with mustard!!

[1011101010001]

On 11/30/2020 at 10:05 AM, Neurochick said:

Oh Kenny with the Brokeback Mountain reference.  

We all know how that ended lol.

On 11/30/2020 at 10:40 AM, CrazyInAlabama said:

so only Kenny and Armando have a happy ending. 

TMI.

[1011101010001]

On 11/30/2020 at 12:25 PM, greekmom said:

I remember either Jenny saying something or reading somewhere online how she didn't accept her daughter's relationship and how it took her years to accept the fact she is a lesbian.  Not the same thing at all you bitch. (yeah I hate her alot!)

Add homophobia to Jenny’s many flaws.  She is the last person who should be judging anyone.

[1011101010001]

On 12/1/2020 at 2:40 PM, Burning Rubber said:

Yazan barely speaks English and is an unskilled laborer.

I think he has an engineering degree.

[Toaster Strudel]

5 minutes ago, MrBuhBye said:

I think he has an engineering degree.

He is a fishmonger and uber driver.